The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 100: Some Shrinkage May Occur
Please text me what you think of this episode. I would love to hear from you.
100. My centennial episode! Yes, of course it's a good one. Our cities are shrinking, sinking and settling. Let me share my thoughts on the possibility why.
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00:00 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. A few years and several months ago, in 1637 to be precise, rené Descartes famously said I think, therefore, I am. Flash forward 388 years to an update. I sink. Therefore, I'm Seattle Now. The good news is that you don't have to be Seattle to be experiencing height loss, as CBS News reports quote. The cities news is that you don't have to be Seattle to be experiencing height loss, as CBS News reports quote. The cities with the most widespread sinking, impacting about 98% of their individual areas, are Chicago, dallas, columbus, detroit, fort Worth, denver, new York, indianapolis, houston and Charlotte. Unquote. Even Charlotte's web is said to be contracting.
00:43
Scientists have declared these cities are in what we might call descending order. They don't mean the city's admirable quality of life. They mean their buildings, roads and assorted real estate, which are slip-sliding away, as Paul Simon put it 48 years ago in a song of the same name. The news report said that reasons given range from everyone's go-to evil climate change, to quote groundwater extraction. As rapidly growing cities demand more fresh water that must be drawn from aquifers. If that water is taken out faster than it can be replenished, the aquifer can crumble unquote. Well, we're assembling our own group of scientists to parse the problem here at the Goldman State's first annual sink tank, scheduled for early 2026 on the second floor of our offices though by the time we convene that may have become the first floor. If you'd like to attend, here's the program we're putting together.
01:35
Title Shrinkage an international symposium on increasingly impotent infrastructure. Purpose what the title didn't explain it. Who should attend? Anyone with an interest in preserving the planet on behalf of humanity, flora and fauna, and who has a spare $350, which includes a box lunch. Those who don't enjoy eating boxes may want to brown bag it. Who shouldn't bother? Anyone who doesn't have a spare $350. The Goldman State Sink Tank is a nonprofit, totally by accident. Scheduled presentations 8 to 10 am the Edifice Complex. Professor Stella Manschild of the Swedish Meeball Institute opens the conference by demonstrating via PowerPoint videos and sock puppets how New York's Empire State Building, once the world's tallest building and babe magnet for gigantic apes, began to notice it was losing a few inches of height each year when this extended to its asking buildings in the area if its Art Deco design was kind of tired and whether it should consider having some work done. Civil engineers knew they may be dealing with a building on the brink of emotional as well as structural collapse.
02:45
10 to 10.15 am coffee, donuts and camaraderie. Unless someone forgets to bring the coffee and donuts, making camaraderie unlikely. Special consideration will be given to anyone who can explain what an aquifer actually is. 10.15 to noon too tall to fail. Dr Bidova Stretch, the world-renowned expert on skyscrapers as well as on living with a ridiculous name, explains why cities should devote quote at least a few hundred dollars a year. Unquote to shore up buildings, especially those by the shore. A candid Q&A will follow. Quote as long as no one makes fun of my name, says the good doctor. Noon to 1 pm Keynote speech delivered by none other than Superman, who explains why his legendary ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound isn't all that tough anymore.
03:36
A kid with strong calves and a nuclear-powered pogo stick could probably do it. He wrote in a recent guest editorial for one of the Wall Street Journal's always insightful special sections the Future definitely on its way, according to authorities. Note due to Superman's super sensitive hearing, attendees eating boxes or brown bags for lunch during the talk are requested to chew with their mouths closed. From 1 to 1.15, potty break 1.15 to 1.30 pm. The after potty, 1.30 pm to 4.45 pm, the buildings of tomorrow A roundtable discussion with a distinguished panel of architects, futurists, commercial builders and parachute manufacturers. During this time we've organized a spousal activity. In case anyone wants to get active with anyone else's spouse, I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. In case anyone wants to get active with anyone else's spouse.