Episode 104: Remembrances

Reminiscing, recollection, nostalgia... do you find emotion in the process? Let's see if you remember.

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Transcript

00:00 - ED Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. One of my favorite authors, peter DeVries, wrote in his 1959 novel the Tense of Wickedness. It's a good description of how the past can disappoint us, mainly because we expect it to be far better than the present. At various ages, we go into what I call memory muse mode, a backfiring time machine that can transport us anywhere from our infancy to a few years ago. Nostalgia's trigger, since everyone loves to use that word these days as though something that causes us to think back or feel emotions needs to be viewed as a weapon. Anyway, that trigger can be everything from an old song to a light breeze, an aroma or an article of clothing. Sometimes they converge and we remember the tune that was playing as the wind ruffled our hair and we smelled honeysuckle in the air while wearing a parent's tux or dress as we drove to the prom with the windows open because we'd used too much cologne or perfume. 

01:01
I've grown to despise nostalgia. Even as a child, seeing old photos of my parents and grandparents would make me cry seriously, to the point that my mom stopped showing me family albums unless I asked to see them. I can't explain why, looking at people I loved whose appearances had already changed and not even for the worse in many cases, brought on the waterworks for me. What brought this up was when, the other day, with a half hour to kill before joining a Zoom call, I decided to clean up the contacts directory on my iPhone. What started as my simply correcting a few entries because portions of the data had changed, like someone had a new email or extension, for example soon became a purge of the names and numbers of stores that had shuttered, like a neighborhood Rite Aid pharmacy or, much worse, people had died. I think anyone whose business or social life includes an abundance of acquaintances knows what this can feel like. For every half dozen people now deceased whom I'd barely known or interviewed maybe once, possibly decades ago, I encountered an equal number of people I'd cared deeply for and apparently never had the heart to erase their names when I scrolled past them looking for someone else's contact info. A now dispensable name might have been that of a beloved mentor, an old flame, a favorite mechanic or a sympathetic bartender. 

02:21
My directory included the number for a long-ago-across-the-street neighbor I'd thought enough of to allow myself to be her contact when her medical alert bracelet went off, which did often in the middle of the night, never once signaling an emergency. She simply rolled over on it in her sleep. I finally told her adult son, who lived just two miles away, that he'd have to become the first responder. But you're just across the street, he whined After my fourth sleepless night of erroneous beeps. I wasn't as pleasant as I like to be. Either we swap houses or you move your mom into yours. I said Period. He later told my wife I'd threatened him with bodily harm. She, who'd been awakened just as often, was not the sympathetic listener he'd hoped for. I hate when Ed issues empty threats. She said Ah, those were the days.