The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 119: Email Etiquette - How to Properly Sign Off
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Do you ever wonder what your email sign-off says about you? Here are some goodbyes with a twist. And next time you sign-off on an email, please, just give it a little thought.
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00:00 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. I despise when people end their emails, letters or texts with Warmly. What does that mean? You wrote the missive in your jacuzzi from the desert, or while wearing snuggly PJs with attached feet? Maybe it was the last memo you sent out while being strapped into the electric chair, or a few minutes later from your new Standfor-eternity desk in hell, warmly Now.
00:29
I confess I sometimes end emails to people I'm quite fond of with a sign-off with warmest wishes, followed by whatever name they know me as. No, that wasn't an admission that I'm in the Federal Witness Protection Program and have to keep changing my name, address and backstory. It's just that the people in our lives often have different nicknames. For us, mine's usually Ed, the pen name I've used since I began my writing career, but there are a handful of people who call me Eddie and a couple of somber types, apparently wishing I could emulate their basic demeanor, who refer to me as Edward. My legal name Legal name makes it sound like the others might be sassily illicit. What fun. But that's not why we're gathered here today. It's to consider the sign-off and also, at no extra charge, the sign-in, that word or those words with which we begin, everything from love notes to stern memos. So as a tribute to Julie Andrews, who turned 90 on the first day of September and has still beloved the universe over for singing the following lyric in the Sound of Music an astonishing 60 years ago, let's start at the very beginning Sign-offs.
01:32
The sign-off to a letter should reflect your persona, the one you actually have or the one you aspire to have. Others see you sporting, just as certain individuals say chow, to sound dashing, continental, or, in another spelling, tell you they're heading to find some food, since you never offered so much as a saltine. Anyway, they'll also sign their communiques like that chow, and people who do that even call them communiques instead of notes. So be careful. It's almost as though they're already writing their own obituaries. Clark will always be remembered for ending his letters or exiting a party with a jaunty chow. He will be missed. Others go for what I call the Twigo sign-off part twee, part ego by signing things me, good Lord, there must be an enormous family named me in North America. Concerning how many people think that just writing me at the close of a note will make you think of them, and only them. It's like having a friend named Nancy, whom you casually call Nance, and having another friend take umbrage of that because she thought she was the only one who could have thought up that clever nickname.
02:40
I always get a kick out of it when people end their emails with something much loftier than the message itself, like yours in Christ, tessa. Is there a presumption that the recipient is on the same spiritual journey as Tessa? You can always write back and say Thy will be done, signed Greg, and let Tessa ponder what it was that she asked Greg to do. My favorite for a while, from an old friend who had a rather cynical nature, was well, see you in hell, buddy. Signed John, I hope I do. He owes me 50 bucks and I've been tracking him down.
03:15
Let's talk about sign-ins for a second. They're meant to set the mood for the messages that follow, and these can get troublesome if they unintentionally establish a tone of sheer hostility or completely false friendliness. An example would be to start a letter to a debt collector who's been sending you seven daily reminders that you're in arrears with my dearest pal, or an actual love note with okay, so like I miss you. All right, anyway, I think we've maybe run out of time, so I'll see you next time. Signed me, I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at goldmanstatecom. Thanks for listening.