Money Makin' MILFS - Judgment, safety and navigating mum guilt 👩🏼 💗

Today's episode of HMM is a real treat for all you incredible MILFs out there who are hustling hard and ready to make bank.

This week, Honeyy's diving deep into the world of juggling Mum life with being an OnlyFans creator. She is often asked how she manages it all, and let me tell you, while it's not a walk in the park, it's absolutely achievable. So, grab your headphones, your favorite drink, and let's get into the nitty-gritty

Episode Highlights

💗 Why a Stage Name is Crucial 

Unleash your alter ego! We'll discuss the importance of having a stage name and how it can be a game-changer in balancing your personal and professional life.

💗 Work Phone – Separation is Key 

Discover the magic of separating your work life from your personal life with a dedicated phone. It's all about creating boundaries and maintaining that work-life harmony.

💗 New Social Media Accounts 

Learn the art of creating and managing separate social media accounts to keep your personal life private while thriving as a content creator.

💗 Super Strict with Personal Details 

Privacy is power! Honeyy shares some tips on being super strict with your personal details to ensure a safe and secure online presence.

💗 Your Career Doesn’t Define You as a Mother

Let's break the stereotypes! We'll discuss how being a Mum and having a thriving career are not mutually exclusive – you can be a fantastic Mum while making bank in the adult industry.

💗 Judgment on Social Media 

Addressing the elephant in the room – dealing with judgment and criticism on social media. Honeyy's got a lot to say on this topic.

💗 Dealing with Mum Guilt 

A real talk about the inevitable Mum guilt and how to navigate through it without compromising your hustle.

As always, thank you for tuning in, honeys! If you found this episode helpful, we'd love to hear from you. Screenshot and share to your stories, tagging @honeysmakinmoney_, or show us some love by rating and reviewing the pod. Let's empower more gals to build profitable businesses on their own terms.

Until next time, honeys, keep makin’ that money! 🌟💸

Transcript

Unknown: 1:00

Welcome back to a another week babes. I'm so excited to have you here. We are deep diving today into a subject I haven't really touched on throughout the podcast, but it is one really, really close to my heart and we are going to be talking about MILFs Mekanism man money. I really, really wanted to do a podcast about being an X rated content creator. And being a mum. Because when you put only fans in the same sentence as being a mum, people lose their fucking brains, like they absolutely lose their minds. I also get a lot of questions in a lot of the articles I do and a lot of interviews around parenting while working in the adult industry. I feel like so many people outside the industry are very interested. There's also a lot of judgement. And there's also a lot of misconception. And also inside the industry. I'm not sure if there's much information out there on you know how as mums we do navigate this because yes, it is a huge life changing a career changing decision when you want to join only fans and put extra content out there. And for mums where you really need to take into consideration that other people in our lives as well. So not only is it such a big decision for us, but a huge decision for our immediate family. So let me spill the beans here. Let me jump into it. And I want to start off by saying that I think only fans or a similar platform or the industry is an incredible platform for people, and especially moms, single moms. I think it's an amazing platform. Do I think it's for everyone? No? Do I think it benefits all mums? Absolutely not. But in the cases that it does suit a parent to join only fans, I feel there should be some extra steps taken when considering joining. Now, I am so passionate about any kind of platform that's going to allow mothers to have freedom around their children. If you've listened to my other episodes, I speak a lot about my network marketing past. And I'm still love that industry. And I was so passionate when I was in there because I could see the freedom that it gave stay at home moms. So I am passionate about those platforms and about businesses and you know, career changes that allow parents to spend more time with their children. So in this episode, I may get a little bit heated, because I am passionate. But just remember, this is just my point of view. And this is how I choose to run my business. And this is how I choose to parent and in no way or form am I telling you how to parent or am I telling you what you are doing is wrong. Everything looks different for everyone, the way we parent, the way we run our business, the decisions we make are within our household. And they are individual to us. And they suit our family for particular reasons. So please don't take this in a light that I am shitting on anyone else or disagreeing with anyone else you do what's best for your family. But I want to share what it looks like for me and why I've made these choices and what I've done in my household that makes me feel comfortable about the decisions I make. Okay, let's get into it. When I first started only fans, it was super, super important to me as a mother to do it the best way possible, with minimal effect on my family and their future. As you guys would know, if you've listened to my previous episodes, I researched this industry for six months, like I deep dived into the whole whole world. There are so many messages out there about why you shouldn't do it and how it's going to affect you. And I really wanted to research all of that because I didn't want to be blindsided. I didn't want to just hear the good I want to hear the bad. So I wanted to learn from other people's mistakes. I wanted to see what people were doing that was right, I wanted to see what people were doing what was wrong, and then implement it in my own way. And hopefully this podcast can help you do the same. So I'm going to share with you the steps I've taken firstly to protect my family and our safety when we did set up our onlyfans. So the first and most important one for me was name. Now I did not want my family name ever been associated with what I do. And that is to protect myself. That's to protect my family and my family when they grow up. Google is such a big thing. And all they need to do is Google a family name for a picture to come up. And it was really, really important to me that my work was kept as private as possible to anyone that would perhaps want to search our name. So for me, it was changing the name finding a name that was coming pletely different to our family name completely different to mine. And using that as my alias, I did not want it to be my real name, I did not want it to be associated with my children or my family in any way. Number two was getting a work phone. So after I picked out my name, I wanted a work phone because I knew that I could not have a personal phone and do the work that I'm doing on that phone. I wanted everything to be completely separate. So all the photos of my family and my children are on a completely separate phone, a completely separate phone number, my phone for work, has no photos of my children on it. And vice versa, my private phone has no extra added material on it. Because my kids play with my phone, my kids jump on, they want to take photos, and I want my personal phone to be my family phone, I don't want to have to open up and worry about what's on there, or what the kids might run into on there, or what might be posted. I was also really, really conscious of not accidentally posting the wrong thing to one of the, you know, to a story or to an Instagram page. I knew if I had completely separate phones, I would only ever be logged in on my honey Brooks account on my work phone. So it just completely separated everything. For me it had a different phone number, that phone number was not connected to any of my family members are also there was no chance of any contacts being synced to Tik Tok or Instagram or anything else. There was nothing that was going to come up in common, that phone was completely separate. And it's really healthy for me now actually, it was a really great decision because I feel like that phone holds honey books. And as soon as that phone is locked away in my drawer, honey boxes gone, you know, I'm back to family mode, I'm back to mum mode. And I don't have to worry about anything popping up or someone saying hey, like what's his content, like, I don't have to worry about that that phone is away. So if you haven't started yet, and you're considering started or you just started, I highly recommend looking at getting a separate phone for everything, just to keep it super, super separate, and not have any mishaps along the way. Obviously, if you're not a parent, it's not crucial to be doing that. Because it's you know, it's not too much of a of an issue if you've got photos of like selfies of yourself, and it's an X rated content. But when you've got little ones around going through your phone, it can be a different story. Number three for me was new social media accounts. So I was really, really strict on this, I did not want any of my old social media accounts to be associated with what I did with work. I knew from the get go that I was going to have to start this from zero from absolute scratch, I didn't want to cheat, I didn't want to use my Instagram. I think at the time, my Instagram had about 4000 followers, and I had about 5000 people on Facebook. And sure that would have been an easy way to make a lot of money at the start. And it wasn't because I was ashamed of what I was doing. I wanted it to be completely separate. For a lot of reasons. Obviously, previously, I had photos of my children on there. So I didn't want to associate anything I did with my work with photos of my children. And also I knew that I had underage people on my accounts, I knew I had cousins and friends who had kids that were younger, and I didn't want to be putting that content out there, or a link out there that they could possibly access being under age or being influenced by. So for me, it was really, really important that I created new social media accounts. And I knew that if I was going to build this business, I was going to do it from scratch, I had to do it from scratch. And I was okay with that. I was okay with protecting the people I knew protecting my family, and starting from absolutely zero. And that leads me on to number four, which is I never ever, ever post my family or my friends on my HoneyBook social accounts. I in fact, on my private accounts, I hardly post them. But in terms of what I do for work, what I do for work is completely separate. You will never ever, ever, ever see a photo or a glimpse or a finger or a toenail of one of my children on my profile. I am really really strict on this because I understand and I'm fully aware of the people that are coming to my account. I understand. And I'm aware that the photos that I am posting on the cat is to bring men to my page to bring men for a sexual service to bring men to a page to go over to an X rated page. So I understand who is consuming my content on Instagram, on Facebook, I understand that they're there. So I would never ever put a photo of my friend who doesn't want to be involved in in this kind of industry or my family. I remember and especially my children on there, I think it can be very, very detrimental and extremely dangerous to put photos of your children on the same account that you are advertising your sex work on. Now, once again, I'm not telling anyone how to parent, I'm not telling anyone what to do. This is my opinion. And this is how I've chosen to run my account. And I'm just sharing that for other people to take into consideration. But I honestly believe that it is so healthy to have two separate accounts, and to have your friends and family and everything you do in private on another account, the people that are coming to your social media for a sexual service does not need to see all the other things in your life. Okay, moving on to number five is a DMCA company. So that's a takedown company. And I wanted to get on to that as soon as I found out that there was one ad that existed, I wanted to get onto it straightaway. Because I want to be able to be in control. As much as I can have my content, I want to know where my content is, because at the end of the day, when I do come to close this business, I would like to close it and know that the company can work for a few months afterwards or for 12 months afterwards and help remove a lot of the content. Now, I am not oblivious to this, I know there's going to be content out there that we won't be able to get our hands on and that it will be out there forever, I absolutely understand that. But me as a mother doing everything I can in my willpower to you know, protect the name and the image is to stick with that DMCA company. So that was a really big one to have throughout the time I was doing all of this. And afterwards as well to have control or semi control, I should say over my content and where it's landing. Number six is my personal details, like my personal details is never ever given out. And I know you're probably thinking well done, like how do you know and gives out their personal details. But I mean, absolutely nobody, even if I'm doing a collaboration with someone, I had a creator asked for a photo of my ID and I declined, I said, Look, you're more than happy for you to take down the video. But I'm more than happy to sign whatever you'd like. But I do not give out any of my personal details, especially sending it over a social media account. So on my work phone, this is how far I take my work phone is registered under my business name, any account on my work phone is registered on my business name, you will not be able to go onto my work phone and see any details or any details that have ever been entered in on my work phone that has anything to do with my personal details. I don't ship like with my underwear and things that I'm sending out to subscribers, I don't ship with a return to sender address. I don't even use my Pio Box address. All of that information for me is way too uncomfortable to send out. Even though it's a Pio box, and I can put my name, you know, honey Brooks on the PIO box, I still keep that absolutely hidden away. Because at the end of the day, you don't know who is going to call up that post office and pretend to be someone and just say, look, who's that? Who's that registered under? What's her name, you know, they can pretend to be anyone, they can hack into accounts like I am so so so strict with us. And I'm okay with that. Like if that means that I can't send a pair of undies out. Or I can't do a collaboration because somebody wants my real details. I'm so comfortable with that. Because that's where I stand. And that's one of my boundaries when I draw the line with safety and protecting my family with the business that I do do. Number seven is collaborations will never ever be done at my home. I am so strict on this. I will never invite anyone into my own house to do any collaborations. Yes, they are creators. Absolutely. I understand that. And there is a form of trust there obviously over a subscriber. But I just My home is my home and I don't want work coming into my home. I don't want to film in my home where people can come like, this is my family home. My kids are here. I don't want other people here. I don't want other people knowing where we live. I don't want other people seeing my house. And that's just a firm rule I have you just don't know what happens in the future. You don't know if a message may get out is like how many creators get hacked all the time. And all could be was like Hey, like this is my address. I'll meet you there tomorrow and they can get hacked and then all of a sudden, my address is there for that hacker. So I'm really really strict on not inviting anyone into my personal space at my own house. Number eight is I never disclose any information about my family what so ever so I will never disclose how old my kids are, what sex they are, you know, anything their names. I don't speak about them whatsoever. Obviously my husband and films with me, Hank, but even he has a stage name. And it's very, very minimal about what people actually know about, Hank, obviously, we've got to be just as firm on security with Hank, because anything that anyone finds out about Hank, because we are married, can easily find out about me and our children. So we get that very close. And in any articles, and I've had a few people interview me just try and trip me up and give a little bit of information out. And I'm just so solid on that, that absolutely no one will know, you know, how many children I've got, how old they are, what sex what any of that is super private to all of us. And number nine, is I never, ever expose my children to my work. And this is a funny one. Because I think there's a big stigma around when people hear that you are in the industry, and you're a mom, and they completely judge you and think Oh, my God wouldn't offer my love, like, what is she teaching our children like that is just absolutely disgusting. Like, I swear, when people hear it, they think we're just walking around the house fucking for diners with dildos in front of our kids. I honestly, like that's how they treat it. But I never ever expose my children to work. So whenever I'm doing my work, my kids are at a care they are at school, they are out of the house, they are nowhere to be seen. I work my hours, while my children are not home. I also have a locked drawer, one singular locked drawer in my home that I use to keep all my dildos in and all the other stuff that I need to film with. And then I have a locked office that also has locked drawers in so I am very particular with that, you know, my kids are at an age where I just don't want them to be exposed to any of that I don't want them you know, going into my office and seeing all these random things when they're just not at an age to have that conversation with at the moment. Obviously, when Hank and I film, it's when the kids are not in the house. And I've got to make this clear, because there are people out there that just think that you know, you fucking you film born in front of your kids, and they just think, oh my gosh, like the parenting is disgusting, like how they're gonna grow up. But my children have never been exposed my work. And as far as I'm concerned, they never will be. Obviously I go to all these extents to make sure that they don't. So I am very, very strict on that. And I do recommend that as well. It's really healthy for me, I know, as soon as I leave my office, put everything away, look, the drawers, I locked my office, and my office is really clean as well. Like if you if the kids, if I forget to log in, they do come in, they can't access anything. Anyway, it's just a desk, and a couch and whatnot. But I highly encourage that, like have a room where you can kind of lock work away as well. Because when you come home and you're in mum zone, it's hard to step out. And it's hard to be separated from that. So if you've got a physical office or a physical draw, or whatever it may be, that you can lock your stuff into, it's really great mentally, because you can just shut it off and go, okay, cool. For me, I know honey is done, I'm done for the day, like time to go pick up the kids, I miss them so much. Let's go spend some time together and do some fun things. So I find that it's really healthy. So there's some of the things that I took when I first saw still taking I should say, while running my business and really taking into consideration protect my family and our safety. But I suppose there might be some people that are wondering, like, what does it actually look like running an adult business while being a mom? You know, there are a lot of questions in my articles and a lot of questions. I get out on my socials about like, how do you do it, like, you know, what's the go and, and all of that. So, I'm an open book, and I'll share it all with you guys here. And I do want to be honest, and in my experience, it has been really, really hard. It's been harder than I could ever have imagined. Not to say that it hasn't been worth it. But it has certainly come with its challenges. So I'm really, really do want to share some of these here because I really want to help current and future only fans mums, you know, get through some of this because you may be going through some of the same challenges at the moment, you may be running only fans and you know, coming into this wall and you know, mom guilt judgement, and let's not fucking skip past that, like we get judged 10 times more than any other woman, if you're a mom, you instantly get judged so much more just in life, let alone being in this industry. So let's not, you know, skim over that. So you may be going through these issues at the moment or you may be considering that these are some of the factors that you're going to have to face if you do start early fans so I do really want to share them because I want to be real raw and honest. And I'm going to share the challenges and then how I had to face them and I suppose overcome them and then also my thoughts and opinions on them. So Let's get into that. So the first one I really want to get into is judgement. I just touched on that briefly, but especially from family and friends, this was a massive challenge for me, and a really, really interesting one to overcome, and how I really took it on. So for me, I had a huge, I still do have a lot of judgement, especially from my close family, they had actually, we're no longer in contact anymore, because I've chosen this for work. And I remember the judgement coming from a particular family member. And it was so heavily around my kids, it was so heavily around like how much of a bad mother I was, and like, How can I do this to the kids. I'm jumping in here for a hot second to let you guys know, I am giving away free one on one coaching sessions every single month throughout my podcast, I'm really excited to be working with some more creators on a more personal level. So if you want in on this, make sure you go and hit follow, leave a star review, screenshot it and send it to our Instagram account. If you want extra points into the draw, go and leave a review on your Instagram account and tag us in it. I am so excited to see you wins this month and who I get to work with. Okay, now back to the good stuff. And it was actually quite detrimental to my mental health at that stage. Because obviously, you know, you're, it's always at the back of your mind, you're trying to do the best you fucking can every day, right? Like, you're just trying to wake up and do the best you can. And then you have people that you thought that truly loved you and that you did value their opinions tell you that you are just an absolute shit mother. So that was a difficult time for me. And if this is happening to you, as well, I really, really feel for you. Because it's so difficult to wake up every morning and try to be the best mother you possibly can. And then get told that you're not and then start to actually fucking believe it. Like that's the worst part is that you start to believe it like when you hear it constantly. You're like, oh, fuck, like, Maybe I am. So if you're there, or if you've been there, I fucking feel for you. And you are not a shear mom, the way like has overcome it is I've cut those people out of my life. First and foremost, anyone in my life that is going to try and make me believe that I'm bad mother has absolutely no space in my life whatsoever. So they are gone. They are completely gone. Their numbers have blocked their Facebook, their Instagram, they are out of my life. And I tell you what, it is fucking refreshing. Like, it is so good to get those negative people out of your life. That is the first step I took. And then the second step is just reminding myself every single day that what I do for work and my career does not define me as a person and does not define me as a mother. I am an incredible mother. And just because I've chosen to do something for work does not change the outcome what so ever. Now my career has been able to give my family the most incredible life. We can do anything we want to we can spoil the kids, we can go spend time and memory with the kids. You know, we go away in the caravan all the time. We live on the road, we go on adventures, we just come back from a random week in Queensland, we just went and hide like the most beautiful place in Queensland had our own pool at the Airbnb. We took the kids and did absolutely everything. Every morning, we woke up and we're like, what do you guys want to do? And we never once said no, and it's not about spoiling our kids and you know, making the spoiled kids. But it's about working hard and being able to give that back to our kids. You know, we've got the time to do that. A lot of parents don't have the time to do that. We've got the time to do that. We've got the funds to do that. And we've got the energy to do that we have created incredible memories with our kids. And I just remind myself and I think if you're in this space as well remind yourself like you are an incredible man, what you do for work has absolutely no reflection on how you parent or the way you parent. There are people out there that are working the most successful, like jobs in the world. There are women out there who are so career driven, which is absolutely amazing. But who's to say that that's the definition of an amazing mom. Like they may come home and you know, their career is worth more than spending time with their children. And not to say that's a good or bad thing. But why does our Korea determine how good we are as parents and I honestly think as parents and when it comes to Korea we can't win anyway. You If you're a stay at home mom, that doesn't work, you're lazy. If you're a mom that is career driven, and you you know, value career and you want to go back to work to get your foot in the door, then you know you don't spend enough time with your kids and you're a horrible mom, and you should be putting your kids first. If you work from home, doing network marketing, you're gonna get judged because doing a pyramid scheme. If you are a online onlyfans creator, and you work from home, you are a terrible parent. So I really think just being a mum, in general with work, it doesn't matter what you do, you're going to get judged. You're going to get people that are going to have opinions about what you do with your work, and then what you do outside of your work with parenting. So the way I got over it was just like, Well, fuck it, like people are going to judge me anyway, if I sat at home, and I didn't earn a cent. And I didn't work and my husband was off working and he was never home. Well, I'd be judged for being lazy, or she should go get a job. She could don't go did why did she let her husband do all of that she could easily just go get like an admin job. You know, what's the difference? I may as well go and do something that I love that pays me fucking bank. And then I get to spoil my kids and spend so much time with my kids. So now I'm in a really great place because I've learned to heal myself over the judgement of my friends and family. I've learned that gratitude is such a powerful tool when you're in this place, being grateful that I have the opportunity to work on a platform that allows me to have as much freedom, time, freedom, money, freedom, and all of the above. So just remind yourself of all of these things if you do think into that area. Now, another thing is social media judgement, judgement from family and friends is one thing, but then getting social media judgement is a whole other and if you're on Tik Tok girl, I feel you that is just out of this world judgement. And it's like it men and women actually, it's like they tried to really hone in on the parent and just feel like that that's a weak point when they start talking about how we parent our poor sons or our poor, you know, example of being a mother to a daughter, like, we're terrible examples or, you know, our sons are going to grow up and grow apart from us, because of the decisions we've made. Our children are gonna get bullied, like, we hear it all. We absolutely hear oh, and people have absolutely no qualms in just like putting that on your post. And what I see a lot of is so many people concerned about my children being bullied, you know, they will leave a comment on my page, and literally blast the shit out of me and bully me. And then say, I'm feel so sorry for your kids, they're gonna get so bullied, and all this bullshit. And I'm really passionate about this message. Because if everyone that was pouring energy into being worried about my kids, actually stop pouring their energy there and poured it into their own kids and taught their own kids not to be bullies, we wouldn't have a problem. Like, in What world do we live in? That we're raising children to bully other kids for what their parents do for work? Like it's 2023 that is it's just disgraceful that we're more worried about a mum working and going off and doing her work and and whatever that looks like, mind you, like, whatever that fucking looks like, if you're a mum, a parent, single, divorced, married, whatever that is, however, that looks like for you. Why does it fucking matter how you make money? It absolutely shouldn't matter. Your family? What happens under your household and how you do it? Obviously, as long as it's legal and healthy. Why should it fucking matter to anyone? Like if you're cleaning toilets to make a living fucking good on you. That's amazing. If you your fucking your vagina late at night, while the kids are in sleep good on you. Like if you're going out and providing a sexual service for someone while someone's watching the kids Good on you. Why is it anyone else's business how you provide for your kids? You would literally die for your kids. If you could give your kids everything you would. But it's like as soon as it doesn't meet someone's standard. Well, okay, well, no, that's not good enough. Well, you're not in my household. You don't know my situation, you have no right to speak about it. So I'm telling you, I get a little bit here that when I see these comments, I think your kid is a bully because you're bullying me and they know nothing better. They see you and what you say to other people and how you treat other people and they think that that's okay. And then they go to school or wherever it may be and that's how they treat people. So you they are breeding the bullies and instead of looking inside their own household and being Like, Oh, maybe I should really focus on a me, because I've obviously got some trauma or I'm not happy with my life. That's why I'm projecting on everyone else. But I should also, you know, really focus on bringing up my children to be kind and generous and feel loved, and not to project their hurt onto other people. But unfortunately, that is not what's happening. So for me, whenever I hear that, I'm just like, well, you know what, I'm raising my children the right way. And that's all that matters to me. Like, if you want to carry on about kids being bullied, your kids are the bullies, that's fine. But at least I know, with confidence, I can send my kids to school, and I know damn sure they're not bullying anyone. I know, damn. Sure, they're not picking on anyone for having bisexual parents, you know, for having same sex parents, or whatever their family looks like, my kids aren't the one having an opinion on it. My kids are not going to be going to school having an opinion about anyone else, or anyone else's parent or how they have been brought up. Because I am bringing my kids up to love people for who they are. And if they don't agree with people, then they choose not to be friends with them. That doesn't mean that they go off and they say things about them, they just choose to walk away. They just choose to be friends with someone else. And I think if you know, everyone can do that, then we wouldn't have a problem with bullies. So I get really heated with this all this social media judgement, because yes, negative comments, push tick tock, and it's great. And you know, sometimes like, yeah, you know, fuck you all. But also, I'm like, these poor people have children. And these children have ears and emotions, and they're learning and they're like sponges. And unfortunately, that's the water that's filling the sponge. So that's how I deal, you know, at the moment and how I've healed I just really focus on my own family, I focus on raising my kids to the best I possibly can to spread love and kindness and to not judge people. And you know, I really feel because I do get a lot of questions about well, how are your kids going to handle this when you tell them and all I can do now is lay the foundations, all I can do now is just really raise them to the best of my ability. So that in when I do tell them, they go, Well, I love you for your mom. And that's all. That's all they ask, you know, what I do for work shouldn't be a reflection to them. It should be the memories and what we do together and how we treat each other. So that's my foundations at the moment. That's how I am, you know, working this crazy whirlwind. But you know, we're all different. We're all just trying to do the best we can. So another question I get a lot is juggling work and mom life balance. Now, this can be just a huge model, because obviously, our industry is so flexible, which is great, but it changes every single day. So for me some days, I'll have three video calls and customs to make some days I'll have none. You know, some days, some weeks, I've got my periods, I'm not doing anything. It's just so versatile. And as much as we try to plan things pop up like you have subs ago, oh, can I have a customer or can I have a video call or whatever it may be, you might have a slow week and know that you need to jump on and do a tick tock live. So it does have different throw in the mix of like kids that just wake up different every day. You know, some kids wake up with a fever, they feel sick, or you know, they need a little bit more attention that day, because they're tired, whatever it maybe, like sometimes my kids wake up and they love cheese one day, and they fucking hate it the next day. So you know, just juggling that in general. And then having a business looks different every day can get really hard. But for me, I try not to stick too much to schedules, I like to stick to lists. So I don't work well as a mom. And some of you, you know, may feel this or agree being like, right, from nine to 10. I do this from 10 to 11. I do this because every day like is so different. You know, sometimes my kids will have nightmares and they're in the bed with me. And I get no sleep and I need a little bit of sleep in. So that just completely changes the outlook of my day. So I like to write lists. And I think it's such a powerful way to run your business, whether you're a mom or not. I'm assuming you are if you're listening to this, but if not, hey, that's awesome. So I write a list from top to bottom in order of priority. And all I do is I wake up, I'm a mum, first and foremost. And that's my day, right? So I'm a mum first and foremost, if my kid is sick, fuck everything else. I'm a mom, I'm here to nurture. I'm here to look after them. That is the flexibility of my business. That's the you know, that was the goal with starting this business. I wanted to be a mom, I didn't want to be like, Oh, now I can't do this. No, fuck that. I'm a mom first and this is why I do it. So I'm home for them. So my kids said cool. Everything's cancelled. If I've got a spare five minutes, and I go to the top of my list, so with work, the top of your list is going to be your money making activities. And this isn't for me my tic TOCs, my reels, creating all of that content. So doing the marketing to draw the subs in talking to my subs, things like that. So if my day does get out of hand, I know at least my top three things I can tick off. And anything that I don't can move to tomorrow, and the world is not going to end. Like yes, you've got a little bit more work to do the next day, but you can do it. And a really great thing I've spoken about this a little bit on my podcast about lists is that by the time you go to bed at night, you can be running around crazy with the kids, right? You can just be doing everything being you know, have all the hats on at once and doing it all. And then you get to the end of the day, and you're like, Oh, I've done nothing. Like you do so much. But you feel like you've done nothing. But with a list. You can look at him like oh, no, fuck yeah, I did. I did this, I did this, I did that. And I took the kids here, I did this with the kids and really reflecting on your day of the things you actually achieved. It's so healthy for your mindset. But not only is it so healthy for your mindset is, you know, it's showing you that you're winning, it's showing you that faqeer You're an amazing mom, like not only to do all this with the kids, like you know, they're alive, they're, they're sleeping well, but you did their homework with them. You read a book, you did this x y Zed, but you also on top of this did all this with your business. So it's showing you that yeah, you're an incredible mom and a businesswoman and that you are really kicking goals. So that's why lists work really well for me for juggling my I don't even like saying balance. I'm looking at my notice as juggling work slash mom life balance, I hate the word because it there's no balance. There's absolutely no balance, like Yeah, cuz I do 50% Mom 50% work, but it looks so different. I just throw all the balls up and catch the most important ones. So I hope that that helps a little bit. Moving on to the next one, which is something I've actually personally suffered with a lot of my life actually, it's probably only the last 12 months that I've been able to get a grip on it. But that's mum guilt. And girl I know you hear me, mum girl is a fucking bastard. And if you are heavy in this share, I feel for you, I really do. Because sometimes it's just chemically in there like sometimes you could just be the best fucking mom and kill the day and still sit down at nine. But why didn't I do this, I should have done this. I thought I forgot like that lunch order or something. You know, like we sit down at the end of the day, and we just criticise ourselves. And if you're not here, and you feel like I'm a fucking great mom, I take my hat off to you like celebrate that. That is amazing. You are a great mom, about mom guilt. I know for me hits so hard, especially when I was doing my network marketing business. And for the start of doing early fans. You know, I was just doing the best I fucking could every day. But at night, I would just mentally beat myself up and just be like, you know, why did you do it this way and my brain would just go at night, I'm much better now my business coach definitely helped me through that and my therapist as well. Let's normalise speaking to a therapist weekly as well. If you're not seeing a therapist, and you do feel like a lot of mum Gill and your, your mum work life, and when judgement gets you down all of the things that we're I'm speaking about, if you do feel rocky with all of that, or even if you don't, it's the best thing to speak to a therapist and just have someone to speak to that's not going to judge and just listen to you. Especially as a mom, you know, the first time I did that I only did it this year. I was like, This is so weird. I don't talk about myself, like I literally don't talk about myself because everything's about business or the kids or, or my husband, you know, we're always busy, I don't actually have the time to sit down and reflect on how I feel. But it was so good. It was really good. So I really recommend doing that. And my business coach and that really just helped me put things into perspective. And what's really helped me is just being present, like I find that I have been able to get rid of most of my mom guilt and I say most of because there's still times when I relapse when I you know what I mean? When I go back and I catch myself and I'm like, Oh no, we don't we don't live there like honey, we don't live there that's on space that we give energy to. And the way that that was something that's really helped me overcome it is just being super present with my family. Like I said before, like putting my phone away, locking it all away and just being present, like so present. I was lying outside in the sun the other day with my kids and they were talking and chatting and laughing I was literally just staring at every single feature of theirs. Like like taking photographic memories of what they're doing. seeing the sun on their skin, like the clouds above them just absolutely everything. And I find that when I'm so present and so immersed into them that that guilt just goes away. Like, I just feel so connected to them. So that's something that's really helped me. And yeah, I really do enjoy those times just logging off and you know, putting that honey hat away honey hat, putting that honey hat locked away, and you know, putting on my, my mama bear hat and just being really present, and absorbing all the kids that has just absolutely changed the game. And then lastly, just reminding yourself that you are fucking amazing, like you have bought a child or children into this world. They are vibrant, they're healthy, they're loving, and they adore you, and you adore them and you are just doing what every other mom does. And that is parenting in the best way you know how that is, you know, contributing to the income the way you want to do it the way you decide to do it. So just remind yourself, like, don't let other people decide your happiness when you're a mom, like you have these beautiful children or child that is full of happiness and joy, and you've created that. So share that like it's no one else's fucking business on how you want to work, how you want to make money, and how you parent, obviously, you know, make sure it's legal and it's all within the lines, but fuck mama, like go do you and be proud of it. Like give yourself a pat on the back because you're doing an amazing job. And if there are people around you that aren't celebrating you, that aren't telling you that you're a great mom and doing quite the opposite. Fuck them off. You don't have time space or energy for those people and you may lose everyone I did. I lost everyone but I know deep down I would rather have one or two people in my life who absolutely celebrate the fuck out of me and love me and tell me that I'm a great mom and know that I'm a great mom and spend time with me my children and don't judge me that have 20 people in my life that all leave nickering comments or judge me behind closed doors. I am so happy and so content with my small little group of people that we all celebrate each other and there's no fucking better feeling so fuck everyone else of that does not bloody celebrate you that does not wake up and ask how you are what are you doing? I'm so happy for you like fucking go get it girl. If that's not them, block, delete and fuck off. Okay, I hope you have enjoyed probably a little bit heavy but like I said, I do get really passionate about this. I love seeing moms you know out there just earning money and having freedom and doing what they want with their kids. There's nothing fucking better like you go mama. Like I love that and that's why I get passionate. So I hope this has been a nice little chat. I wouldn't say it was you know, tips or advice or anything but just a little chat but Mum between mum maybe a cup of tea, we should have a wine. Next time we'll have a wine. Okay, well enjoy the rest of your day. Go give your little bombers a big, big big hug and know that you're an amazing mum and enjoy the rest of your day. Bye