No Empty Chairs
Did you know that you can have a great relationship with your adult children even if you have faith differences? My name is Candice Clark. I’m a mom, a Professional Certified Life Coach with Advanced Certification in Faith-based Coaching, and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you’re willing to make more room for difference in your family and your church, I can show you how to keep your relationship with your children and your faith. Let’s Go!
No Empty Chairs
Where We Are Now - Episode 55
Today's episode shares a quick update about the future of No Empty Chairs: the podcast for moms whose kids don't come to church
You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.
It's going to be okay, and even better!
Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. I realized recently that we are coming up on the 2-year anniversary of this podcast. If you’re newer around here, thanks for joining us! If you’ve been listening for a while now, I’m so grateful you’re finding this project worthy of your time.
It occurred to me that newer listeners might not fully grasp the concept behind the podcast title, No Empty Chairs. If that’s you, I encourage you to go right back to Episode 1 where I explain in detail where the phrase came from, and what it means to me. Spoiler alert: those two things are not the same. The short and quick version is that I do not believe that there are empty chairs in heaven, and I do not believe it’s a useful metaphor for us to hold in our heads as parents trying to build relationships with our children now. So when I say, “No Empty Chairs,” I am essentially saying, “That isn’t a thing.” To quote briefly from Episode 1:
The way I like to think about No Empty Chairs is that heaven will take care of itself. President Henry Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints shared this:
“A prophet of God once offered me counsel that gives me peace. I was worried that the choices of others might make it impossible for our family to be together forever. He said, “You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2016/08/the-hope-of-eternal-family-love?lang=eng
I find this to be good advice. I don’t have special insight into the details of arrangements in heaven, but I think the better we are at loving each other here, the more likely we are to be satisfied there, assuming that heaven is a place and not a way of being.
Speaking of family relationships, have I mentioned that I am a grandmother? I think I have. It’s been a delight not just to watch my granddaughter grow over the last few months, but to watch her parents grow together and support each other. It’s deeply beautiful to me to see. Honestly, if I had to choose, I would rather watch them be kind and encouraging to each other than have them sitting at church.
I’ve spent the last few weeks helping their family prepare to move into their new home this week, a home that will be conveniently a little bit closer to mine. They have been working hard. Their local siblings have been working hard. Their parents have been working hard. Their friends have been working hard. We’re all tired, but things are looking better at their new place and we are all excited for this next phase of life for them. I even took a couple of days off from work to help clean, prep, and paint walls, among other things.
My parents are also moving this week from one Utah town to another to be closer to my sister. I’m grateful for my siblings local to them who are supporting that endeavor. As my parents get older, I’ve been taking advantage of my ability to work remotely sometimes so I can spend more time with them while they are still here. I don’t talk about it much here on the podcast, but I do in fact have a full-time job, Monday through Friday, where I spend most of my day in front of a computer screen. My coaching work, this podcast, and my volunteer endeavors to support moms whose kids don’t come to church all take place during evenings and weekends. I love doing it! I am finding just now, though, that I want to spend less time at a computer and online, and more time engaging in person in real life locally.
You might be asking yourself what this means for the podcast. It’s the right question. For now, No Empty Chairs is sticking around, but there will be changes. I’ve been coming to you every 2 weeks since August 2023. I have decided to let go of a committed publication schedule. One of the challenges I have had with my various life commitments is coordinating interviews and still meeting the publication schedule. I want to focus more on producing interviews, even if episodes will be less frequent. I may still hop on the mic myself if I just can’t help myself. We will see how it goes. I’m going to take a break for an unspecified number of weeks, and then I hope to be back to share more experiences from parents who have been able to stay in healthy relationship with their kids who don’t come to church.
Whatever happens next, I hope these 55 episodes will continue to serve as a resource for moms whose kids don’t come to church. I really do believe there is no reason to panic, and even if there were, panic doesn’t help anyone. It’s going to be okay.
Remember, there are no empty chairs.
