Out of the Mouth of Babes "Our Future Leaders"
Welcome to "Out of the Mouth of Babes: Our Future Leaders" with Kevin Handley Sr.!
In this enlightening and empowering podcast, we delve into the minds of the next generation—the brilliant and dynamic youth who hold the keys to our collective future. Join our host, Kevin Handley Sr., as he takes us on an inspiring journey through conversations with young visionaries, activists, innovators, and changemakers from around the world.
Each episode of "Out of the Mouth of Babes" brings you candid and thought-provoking interviews with these remarkable young individuals who are making a significant impact in their communities and beyond. From tackling pressing global issues to spearheading innovative projects, these youth leaders are reshaping the world as we know it.
Kevin Handley Sr., a seasoned and compassionate host, skillfully uncovers the stories behind these young achievers, delving into their motivations, challenges, and the transformative experiences that have shaped their journeys. Listeners will be inspired by the depth of insight and wisdom these young guests possess, proving that age is no barrier to effecting meaningful change.
Whether you're a parent, educator, community member, or simply passionate about youth-driven initiatives, "Out of the Mouth of Babes: Our Future Leaders" offers a unique platform to learn, engage, and celebrate the voices of the youth. Together, we can gain valuable perspectives and support the aspirations of these incredible young leaders, nurturing a brighter and more inclusive tomorrow.
Join us as we amplify the voices of the youth and discover the extraordinary potential that lies within "Out of the Mouth of Babes: Our Future Leaders" with Kevin Handley Sr. Be ready to be moved, motivated, and inspired!
Out of the Mouth of Babes "Our Future Leaders"
S1 EP2 PT5 - Embracing Parental Wisdom and Friendship Bonds
Reflecting on our recent heartfelt discussions, one participant shared how our conversation on friendship inspired a meaningful talk with their mom. How often do we stop to think about the joys and challenges of maintaining friendships amidst our hectic lives and the boundaries set by our parents? This episode invites you to explore these layers, uncovering the gratitude we often feel for these guiding boundaries. Our journey takes us through the intricate dynamics of parental guidance, touching on the realization that the strictness we sometimes resent may be rooted in love and a desire for our success. We also recognize the valuable lessons learned from observing different parenting styles in our peers’ families, appreciating the positive influence these diverse approaches bring to our social interactions.
Beyond the family realm, the conversation shifts to the essential role of non-parental figures like grandparents and mentors in shaping our personal development. We celebrate these role models and their impactful presence in our lives. Equally important is the discussion on supporting mental health among friends. How do we create a network that transcends time and circumstance, offering unwavering support to those in need? This episode shines a light on the significance of being there for our friends, fostering a community of care and understanding. Join us on this reflective journey as we continue to explore the nuanced themes of friendship, parental influence, and beyond.
Okay, so just to start us off, how are you guys doing with your poetry?
Speaker 2:I think it's doing pretty good. We have an event coming up here on Saturday, so that's going pretty good. I think it's going good. Just writing when I can. So how prepared do you feel for that up here on saturday? So we're getting.
Speaker 3:That's going pretty good. I think it's going good, just writing when I can um.
Speaker 1:So how prepared do you feel for that?
Speaker 2:I feel pretty prepared, um, I mean as prepared as you can be I don't feel prepared at all.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I'll say I'd agree with that.
Speaker 1:I mean, uh, I'm like in between y'all because, you know, I feel like I have something that I can at least say. But then I'm like, yeah, I don't know if I like it or I kind of like it, but then, like, I feel like I can do something better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, like those type of things. How do you feel about last week's topic about friendship? How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1:Well, actually I think it kind of helped, like me actually kind of think about it.
Speaker 2:Because after we talked about it, I actually talked to my mom a little bit, a bit about what I said too, and then, I also thought about
Speaker 1:it for myself and I was like you got like some different perspectives. Yeah, I was like like y'all kind of you're gonna make me think a little bit right.
Speaker 3:Um, I feel like it was a good conversation to have, just because there's a lot of stuff and friendship that had been happening with me, so it's good to get some of it off yeah, how do you feel about this week's topic?
Speaker 1:actually, um, okay, I liked it the first week. I really liked this one, I liked it just. You know, I don't know, I just like the first one a lot more. But uh, I think I really enjoy kind of talking to y'all, especially like kind of hearing y'all thoughts, because you know, I feel like a lot of the time I hear, I kind of hear it like I hear through all poems and I hear it kind of what y'all say, but I really like exactly hear y'all, like I guess, enunciate it like, exactly like how y'all want it to be said, but I don't know, I I know I think it's also kind of cool to see like people that like don't say, like don't say anything, but also kind of listen more than they say, because I'm one of the type of people.
Speaker 1:I talk a lot, so it's like kind of nice to be able to like hearing the listeners, yeah like hear the listeners that are actually saying something now. So I'm the listener now, and especially for like people that, like I don't know, just listen. I like to now listen. It's kind of nice stepping into that new role type of thing, just getting, getting a new perspective.
Speaker 1:But kind of staying on the friends topic, how do you feel like you are with your friends? I know some people are, I mean, necessarily struggling with friends but like kind of distancing or like having trouble with staying connected. I kind of had that, especially lately, with you know a long schedule for summer. I've had strict workouts and things like that, so I don't even get home to like from seven to you know five almost. So it's like. And how do you find time to really make time for people that you really care about, whether that's a relationship or like even a friendship?
Speaker 2:Um, well, for me, I have a job, um, and I do have a summer gym workout, so it every day is the same times, so that definitely helps with planning a little bit. I mean, I can't really stay the night with people. You know my parents are strict about that anyway, but I can't really see the night. People can't really stay out late, can't do certain things just because of my plans. But it's almost over, so I can have plans and I'm sure the rest of summer will be okay.
Speaker 3:For me it's kind of hard. I really just say, no, I do. I do stuff, obviously, but like, other than that I'm in the house, like the times that I am out, I just when I come home and then lay down. So it's kind of like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. But to kind of go back to what you were saying about, like how your parents have certain boundaries and like you know what things that they expect from you, do you think that's kind of helped you? Like you know how they don't let you go out or hang out with friends Not necessarily hang out with friends, but like stay the night at certain houses and things like that.
Speaker 2:Because my mom does the same. So me too. Yeah, I think, definitely some. I think when I'm a little bit older I'll look back on it and be like I'm really thankful they did that. Now, sometimes, like you just don't really want to be at the house, like you, just like I just want to stay the night at a friend's house, you know whatever.
Speaker 2:And like they say, knowing, you're like oh my goodness, like I'm gonna cry but my mom, she always was like I was not allowed to do that when I was younger. I always hated her saying that. But with friendships I feel like certain people I asked to hang out with or stay the night with I'm not friends with at all and they weren't really nice people. So I'm glad I didn't. You know, she kind of like protected me from just wasted space and wasted time.
Speaker 3:For me. I feel like it helps a lot because the people that you do hang with like aren't doing the right things anyway. So, like I, like I understand now I understand, and it helps me a lot to just really distance yourself from the people who invite you to do things and you know they're not doing the right things. Yeah, I feel like they weren't like.
Speaker 2:She knew the people I was with at the time weren't good, so she was like no.
Speaker 1:I mean yes and no. I mean my mom's always been kind of stuck about it, but I think I've always tried to be very open and honest with my mom and I think that's definitely helped with, like her allowing me to go to certain people's houses, like I mean not like I've always made the best decisions and you know not gonna exactly say what's happened, but yeah, you know, some things that I wasn't supposed to be doing, I did. So you know, I've been honest with my mom about it. She was like, I mean, just next time let me know and I'll help you make the decision and help you decide if that's actually a good choice for you. And she was actually really helpful with that because, honestly, I was really scared of how she was going to react and if she was going to sit here and like, like you know, I guess, for a lack of like words, yeah, like slam the hammer down disappointed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think communication is like really, really key. I didn't want to talk to my parents at all, but it is, I think, also unfortunately, since I am a girl, my parents are more strict about things oh yeah, you know, oh yeah, yes like, most definitely like my brother, could go and do stuff that I would never ever in my life be allowed to do and for a long time I wasn't allowed to hang out with people.
Speaker 2:My curfew is like I hate saying I have a curfew, but my curfew is like 9 o'clock. It used to be 5 o'clock, I'm not even kidding. 5 pm was my curfew. My mom was like if you're done.
Speaker 1:Like you're done.
Speaker 2:So I think, but, like you said, communicating and talking with your parents and like telling them, being upfront and honest, even though it is hard. I think my parents they see it is a struggle for me to talk to them and they respect and have gratitude for the fact that I'm even talking to them about some certain situations and it helps me. That's why my curfew is nine now I talked to them.
Speaker 1:You have anything to say about that?
Speaker 3:um, it took a while for me to actually, I would like be so scared to tell them, so I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I would not tell them the truth until they found it out.
Speaker 3:So but but it definitely does help when you just like be like, yeah, that that is what happened. Like, yeah, like I'm not gonna lie about it, that happened. Yeah, that is what happened. Like, yeah, I'm not going to lie about it, that happened. So that helps communicating to them, because then they feel like there's a level of trust within you guys. But still, the things that happened, they know that can't happen again. Them just being understanding and knowing that you're a teenager and stuff happens.
Speaker 1:I think her just being open and honest and like it really made me see that she's human, because I feel like a lot of time I try to see my mom as like some, like higher being or something like that she can't do no wrong or not necessarily that she can do wrong, but like she's not necessarily like the same level. I guess, like you always kind of look at your parents like a higher level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a level above you almost, and so it's like just to kind of see that they're still human and they still have these emotions, it's like and see that I mean they were kids once too and they understand, like I mean you're not.
Speaker 1:You're not perfect, obviously, but you know I mean, neither are they, and that's why, yeah, and so I think not to like cut you guys off, but like just to see, like my mom was, just like I mean I'm not gonna see him say, oh yeah, I'm perfect, like I mean I do some things that I necessarily shouldn't do either, but it's like with you being honest and open with me, I can help you make an adult decision, because at some point I'm not gonna be here to help you make that. So if I can help you now, so where you can help yourself later, she said that's, that's something I'm supposed to be trying to help you with in general.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's hard to like, get like. I think these past last year, last year, two years I think I've definitely matured more and just been able To understand what my parents are doing. They're trying to help me, even though I don't like it and I don't want to talk to them sometimes because of it. They're literally just trying to help me and it's really frustrating and hard to grasp that. But I think once you do the communication barriers, it just becomes so much easier.
Speaker 1:I think it's kind of hard to necessarily realize that, at least for me, at least, my parents has always had my like best interest in, in, like their eyes and in their hands. So it's like it's weird for me because I feel like a lot of people not they have themselves first and it's just kind of weird for me to like accept and embrace that my mom has always been, you know, looking out for me before, even herself, like if you know, she only had ten, ten dollars. She's gonna give me something that costs seven, get herself something that costs three, or whether I mean me something that costs seven. My older brother costs three.
Speaker 1:Like you can get her nothing, like just to sit there and see like someone sacrificing so much for you and it's like to kind of think back now and be like, oh shoot, like she really is here for me and scraping the floor, yeah yeah and so I mean, how do you feel like, have you guys kind of just seen, like, as you've kind of grown up a little bit and like, like you said, matured over the past couple years, like how do you feel like that has, you know, affected your relationship with your parents? Has that like helped it or strained it at all?
Speaker 2:I think it's helped it most definitely. I think I used to think that it was joining relationships like, oh my goodness, like I don't want to be around them.
Speaker 2:They're doing everything they can to make my life terrible, but I think that was just an immature thing, like it was just me being like stupid, you know, and I think now I think they are hard on me now just because they want me to be successful later. And like now, at this age, you're kind of like figuring everything out, like you're starting to really become your own person and figure out what you want to do, but there that, if it makes sense, they're stricter and softer ways, like they're you know like.
Speaker 2:They're not like putting the hammer down, but they're like stern, that's a better word to use um with me.
Speaker 3:Like I don't feel like it's straining. I used to feel like bro, like every time I would want to stay the night somebody's house, you're like no, and I'd be the only one. Like just leaving, crying, like there was like 15 people there and I was the only one who wasn't allowed to stay, so it was just like bro yeah, so.
Speaker 3:I just go home and like sit in my room by myself and it was just kind of sad. But once you see, and then like the things that happened after, like after the sleepover, you're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have stayed, yeah I'm also like it.
Speaker 2:I feel like for me it was like, not in a, I was embarrassed, but like they'd be like why can't you stay in the night? And then I'd just be like girl, you don't even know like, I don't even know like. And then it just made it even more frustrating, because then I'd be like my parent, like, not my friends.
Speaker 3:That I mean like just so many emotions yeah, you just I'll just be sitting there crying, but everybody that's funny, that's funny everybody's like why are you crying? This is my 15th time asking you.
Speaker 1:But also I think it's helped, like even seeing some other people's parents, like I mean, I always thought my mom was straight until I looked at other people, like I saw, uh, some situations I saw some situations where I was like this ain't even gonna happen, my mom's nice and also, like I've seen some people like they get away with anything.
Speaker 2:They like they can go oh yeah, just crazy things. I feel like, and that's why you should appreciate your parents so much. Because, like, I feel like if your parents are really hard on, you do but oh my god, I'm suffocating but like also, if they're not at all, being like they don't care about me, I feel like the in-between is perfect. Yeah, it's you're never gonna get along with Someone all the time that goes for everybody, that's if you love them.
Speaker 2:It's especially so. It's like you really really have to live in the same house.
Speaker 3:Exactly, you really have to be grateful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to be grateful and just it's really hard to be mature about it and like just be like, okay, what they're doing is gonna work out in the long run and like you'll get over it. That's like my mindset. It's like I'll get over it like in like two, two weeks. I won't care that I wasn't going to stay at her house, yeah yeah, halftime would be thankful.
Speaker 1:But to kind of move away from that topic, I was just thinking like so you know how you look at your parents? It's kind of like you know idols or like figures of someone that you kind of look up to yeah like so is besides your parents? Like is there any other people that you like look up to, like you know, a parent or a friend or a brother?
Speaker 2:um, I'd say definitely number one my grandpa, uh, and also mr hanley, mr, my grandpa unfortunately passed away, but he was one of the people who definitely pushed me. I felt like mr hanley is another one of the people. I do want to put him a headlock sometimes for it and like not talk to him at all, but he does it because he cares and he cares about our future and he wants to be the best person. He said when me and Kiki were in here. He was like don't let anyone tip your crown. You guys keep doing what you're doing. He does the stuff that he does because he wants us to keep going and I'm appreciative of him.
Speaker 3:I look up to my mom and my brother and my basketball trainer.
Speaker 1:For me. I have to say Mr Hanley again. He have to say Mr Hanley again. He's been someone that's I mean especially for me, because I don't have a dad so well, I mean I do, but not around, so especially for him. That'd be like someone that's always been, you know, there for me and even when you know we weren't the closest, like when I moved away, like he's always been someone that's I could always lean back on or have someone that would always support me or like have my, my best interest, even when he didn't have to. And so it's like even if he heard something bad, he would have been like, oh you know, I don't think that I like you know what I mean Like and he always would have had my back and always pushed me to do better, like Even like if I didn't want to come to poetry at night, like he'd hit me up and be like, hey, I need you here.
Speaker 1:This is something that you're really doing well in and you're striving and you're pushing these other kids that you know may necessarily kind of struggle. So it's like that's really helped me. And then I think, like my mom for sure, just seeing, like how she's sacrificed so much, like, especially being like a single mother and taking care of four kids, and then my little brother being autistic. Just how much she's had to sacrifice and really like, have patience for like I mean for me by herself is enough. I mean, I'm, I'm a lot, so it's just you know yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it's good to have a mentor, though, and I think like, if you don't, you should definitely find one. And it's hard to do that. It's extraordinarily hard, but once you find it you'll really be appreciative of it. It's really good to have you know people who are leading you to be the greatest version of yourself in life.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure, for sure, um, but outside of that, so kind of like to do like you like going to summer gym and you enjoy that, and then you and I also mentioned like basketball and sports so like what's your favorite part about that? Not necessarily just like the physical part of it, part of it, but like also like the mental part. Like do you enjoy, like someone pushing you, the competitiveness of it, like what's, what's the thing that kind of pulls you into it?
Speaker 2:I like okay. So I like the sports obviously. Um, I def, I really want to play softball and I like we get to. I just okay, that's one thing, um. But I definitely like socializing with people. Um, I used to be a really big social butterfly and then I just kind of stopped. I really like socializing with new people there and it's like you know, you get to just like have fun and laugh and um also, um, I like the motivation of it, like I have to get up every day and do it For sure, and it's like I wasn't really consistent with the gym.
Speaker 2:I haven't gone in like a month and I'm really upset about that, but the summer gym like I can't not go every day I have to like I have to be there every single day and I think that is definitely a good habit to have you know like you're creating routines routines.
Speaker 3:It's good to have that habit, um, for me it actually helps a lot, like just taking stuff off my mind, like even like before we came I just went on a run and then like I had to shower and come, so that it just helps like to get to get out of your space or get out of your room and just to get up and go and do something. And for sports, I like it because of the competitiveness and the the things that it pushes me and also through through basketball you can learn a heck of a lot about life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that, especially, I think, with like teamwork, like that's something that's like really helped me to, like finding people that I could really like I mean really call my brother, or like someone that I could really depend on I mean whether that be a brother or sister, you know, I never know, but you know or for me to be that person for them.
Speaker 1:I think that's something that I really appreciate. I mean even helping other people with their mental health, or like, just going back to the topic that we have talked about, like being that friend that I think someone should be for me, to them. Or like you know, if I know I would have to struggle for these things with this, like to help somebody else that I know struggling with the same Not necessarily that we would experience it the same, but just knowing like someone cares and someone has been there and someone's willing to help, I mean. And knowing like hey, if you ever need me, like you can always call me, whether we're on good terms, bad terms, you know we're not talking, we haven't talked in months, years. Like just, I just hope all my friends at least know that I would, I'm willing to be that person for them. So I think that's hope. All my friends at least know that I would.
Speaker 2:I'm willing to be that person for them, so I think that's something important to me at least I think we should definitely talk about that next week too oh yeah, for sure um, we're gonna wrap it up, but I'm avril I'm xavier kiki, and this is out of the mouth of babes and we'll see you guys next week bye, bye.