Hit Your Goals, Reinforce Your Growth

When did you last examine your identity as a servant leader? What small steps could you start taking today to change and advance that leadership?

Embark on a transformative journey with us as we dissect the essence of leadership growth and the art of sticking to New Year's resolutions. We draw on the wisdom from James Clear's 'Atomic Habits' and intertwine it with the upcoming release of my book 'Redefine Your Servant Leadership.' We tackle the intricacies of servant leadership, exploring how aligning this with our identities can turn perceived weaknesses into pillars of strength. Together, we navigate the process of effective communication within teams and the importance of "I am" statements in solidifying our path to change. This episode isn't just about setting goals; it's about revolutionizing how you perceive and achieve them.

As we delve into our leadership narratives, I share my personal evolution from conflict avoidance to leveraging disagreement as a tool for truth and beneficial outcomes. The conversation takes a deep dive into how a shift from people-pleasing to mission-focused leadership can elevate both personal growth and team dynamics. We also underscore the power of incremental improvements and the impact of receiving ongoing feedback from coaches and peers.

This episode is a resource for those ready to redefine their leadership identity, embrace small yet mighty steps of progress, and harness the collective support of our networks to foster a leadership style that's both compassionate and driven by our mission.

Plus, you're getting an introduction to the content of the Reinforce section of the book.

Help prepare yourself to make and maintain change this year.

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Order your copy of Jon's book at RedefineYourServantLeadership.com, and don't forget to utilize the additional resources, or purchase access to the Workbook and Coaching Videos.

Send your Leadership and Business questions to Jon at podcast@leadwell.com.

For more information visit https://leadwell.com

The Leadwell Podcast gives mission-driven leaders principled and practical advice to do just that, lead well.

In each episode, your host Jon Kidwell, interviews leaders with great stories, to share strategies that help leaders navigate complex, confusing, and often down-right challenging leadership, personal growth, business, and workplace culture situations.

Jon is a nonprofit executive turned coach, speaker, author, and CEO of a leadership development company. In working with nonprofits and businesses, big and small, he realized the unique challenges leaders face when they are committed to keeping the mission and people the top priority. Those leaders’ commitment to their principles and the people they lead, plus seeing the need for more leaders who strive to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons, is what inspired Jon to start a leadership development company dedicated to the success of mission-driven leaders and their organiza...

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:02

James Clear tells us in his book Atomic Habit, success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine. He tells us that the secret to getting results that last is to never stop making improvements. Let's dive in today to how to reinforce your growth and hit those New Year's goals. Welcome to the Leadwell Podcast, where we help you redefine your servant leadership to amplify your integrity, influence and impact as a leader so that you can lead well. We are in the middle of a servant leadership series here on the Leadwell Podcast. That's because my new book, redefine your Servant Leadership, comes out next week. At least if you listen to this. When this episode came out next week, january 17, 2024, is when the book publishes and you can finally pre-order a copy today, and when you do, we're going to give you the free ebook. You're going to get a video coaching series for free and you're going to get early access to all of the materials that everybody else is going to get once the book comes out. So head on over to redefineyourservantleadershipcom, see where you can pre-order the book and how to get your bonuses, and we will get you set up right away. You can even start with that ebook today if you do that right now.

Speaker 1 1:38

Now, like me, I know you've probably made some New Year's resolutions in the last 10 days or so and, like me, they're probably some of your personal things, some of the professional things, and we want to focus on those leadership growth goals and what we can do to help you reinforce those. Because, let's be real, changing as a leader is challenging. It's not just you, it also impacts the people around you and it's really difficult to change and to reinforce that growth and not give it up like everybody else in their New Year's resolutions, because the team around you sees you and says this isn't who you are and this isn't how you are and why are you trying to do something different? And I've done this too. So much, so right, that when I go and learn something and I want to try a new type of meeting or bring in a new management strategy, execution system, whatever it might be, I've forgot to communicate people that we were going to do anything differently. I just went all in saying this is the new way that we're going to do it, sometimes not even acknowledging that there used to be a different way, and I rarely was internalizing at first and really working out some of the kinks myself and figuring out how this fit with who I was and how I was as a leader. But we would just go for it and it confused everyone and usually it ended pretty quickly because they were confused and I gave up because it was so hard and we don't want that for you to reinforce your growth, to hit your goals, we're going to walk through a section that I outlined in the book redefine your servant leadership, called reinforce, and we're going to reinforce your growth to hit your goals, and we're going to do it in three ways.

Speaker 1 3:22

First one is through the identity. It's I am statements, how you are and who you are as a leader. The second one is small steps, because small steps serve well. It's like eating an elephant you can't do it all at once, you got to do it one bite at a time. And that last one is so critical, especially as leaders, because as leaders it's not just us, it's the people around us, and so we need to involve and use our people. So let's go first to identity.

Speaker 1 3:50

How do we reinforce our growth with our identity as a leader? Well, for many of us it's worked against us for so long. We've said things in interviews like I am a servant leader. But we've buckled an idea and a concept with that like because I am a servant leader, I'm a people pleaser, I'm conflict avoidant, I don't say no because I always want to be there to help and you know, maybe I'm no good at finances and these start to infiltrate our thoughts which permeate into our actions and ultimately influence our attitude and everybody else's as well. We want to use that power of identity to be able to step into. I am a servant leader and this is how I am because of that. So if you haven't yet, go back and look at some of those myths to replace because I just went through those real quick, it's in last week's episode and you can also get it in the book. But here's what we're going to do is, first we have to figure out what of those narratives that I'm a servant leader, so I'm a people pleaser, or I'm conflict avoidant, I can't say no, or I'm no good with finance.

Speaker 1 4:54

We want to flip that. We've tied our identity to servant leadership for so long. Let's use it for good. We flip those by putting in the positive attributes of servant leadership the true characteristics that we want to be able to do so something like this I am a servant leader, I choose to serve the mission first and people always in a kind, compassionate way.

Speaker 1 5:20

How different is that? Then I'm a servant leader. Therefore, I am a people pleaser. No, I'm a servant leader and I choose to serve the mission first and people always in a kind, compassionate way. How might that start to influence the behaviors that I take and the attitude that I have and the attitude that others have with me? Here are some that also will work when you couple it with I am a servant leader. So I am the type of leader who engages in conflict to strengthen relationship and improve the outcomes. Conflict has a purpose and when I am doing it for the betterment of relationship and outcomes, I can lean into that more confidently. I am a servant leader and I am the type of person who says yes and no to serve the greatest need. Yes and no. Start to use this identity, reinforce it by saying these things to yourself, by writing them out. It's not I am a servant leader, so I'm no good with finance. It's I'm a servant leader who combines the heart and the mind to make wise people and business decisions.

Speaker 1 6:31

Once we start to internalize that this is who I am and how I am as a servant leader, well then the next question is really what small step can I take? Small steps serve well. So what small step can you take today? Because, honestly, if the fear is too great, right, if I'm going from zero to losing 100 pounds, if I'm going from zero to implementing an entirely new execution system, if I am going from never saying no to I'm going to tell somebody no, and it's going to be challenging. If that fear is too great, I am not going to do it. We're going to freeze or we're just going to forget about it all together. So what small step can you take today?

Speaker 1 7:18

In his book Atomic Habits, james Clear shows us that 1% improvement every day doesn't lead to 37 times greater increase in results. Is sorry, 37% better, better, get clear on that, right. It's not 37% better, it's 37 times better. Wow, way more impactful. So what small step can I take today? Perhaps it's something like this schedule the meeting you've been avoiding. Leave work at a specific time. It's a powerful one to set a boundary, reinforcing the ability for me to say yes and no to what is greatest.

Speaker 1 7:59

What is that big need? If it is conflict and I'm trying to avoid that what small step can I say? Maybe it is telling one kind truth to a trusted colleague today, or leaning in to one area of the budget that you can learn. Maybe it's just revenue, maybe it's just expenses, maybe it's just figuring out how benefits work. Whatever that might be, what small thing can I do today?

Speaker 1 8:28

Armed with an identity, I am a servant leader who, and then putting in the positive attributes, taking one small step into those positive attributes and then bringing in the third piece are people. We will be able to reinforce our goals. And here's how people help people, especially those people who are for us right, those relationships that we need. They give us five things that we need to continue that actually reinforce but also are part of the growth process, and that is number one. They're gonna be for us. It's a win-win setup. They want us to win. This is the type of person you want to help you grow, person that's like I want you to go lose 100 pounds. I want you to be as successful as you can as a leader. I want you to be able to confidently walk into that room. That's the type of person you want in your corner, helping you in your growth goals.

Speaker 1 9:21

Number one after the win-win sorry number one win-win number two they're present. They can sit and they can contain when you're frustrated. They can connect with you when it's not going so well and you're riding the ups and downs of all of the growth. You want them to be able to be present. They also need to encourage you In the lows. They gotta be able to tell you yeah, let's go, we can do this. They can speak truth. It's the critical feedback. Hey, how do you think I did in that conflict conversation? Well, you probably weren't as kind as you thought you would. Practice. It was good. You got the specifics out there, but I think you forgot some of the connection and the kindness and you may want to keep working on that in the future. How great would that be from a trusted colleague, a friend who is in it for you, that could give you that feedback and tell you the truth.

Speaker 1 10:14

And the last one is they call you to act. If you've said I am a servant leader who serves the mission first people, always in a kind and compassionate way they're gonna call you into that. If you're not doing it, they're gonna call you to act. If they see you kind of being like, no, I'm frozen here, I'm not gonna go do anything, that person can push you into that. They can call you into that, which is wonderful, and here are a few ways that you can get people into that. Do what I did not do when I was implementing these as a leader years ago.

Speaker 1 10:46

Invite people in. Hey, I have a goal of trying to get better at handling some of these conflict situations and I'd really like to have your help. Can you be someone that I connect with, maybe before I go do these things, so that I can practice how it goes? Great, or perhaps it's. I've really realized I need to set some better boundaries at work and in life, but can you engage and help me with those and make sure that I'm both saying yes, like I want to, and also saying no to specific areas, so that I can truly go and focus on the needs that are there, whether it's at work or at home? Invite people into the process so that they can show up win-win present, giving you encouragement, telling you the truth and calling you to act these three things, arming with a positive identity. I am a servant leader. I am the type of person who, taking small steps in that direction and inviting people into the process, into part of your growth process, will reinforce the growth that you have and allow you to continue to move and hit your goals and, as James Clear says, refine the process, always improving, not stalling out like many once we get to February 12th, but continuing to redefine yourself and your servant leadership for even greater impact. Now, if you haven't yet remember, you can go to redefineyourservantleadershipcom. The book is on pre-order now. Go check it out and if you're listening to this much later you can still go to redefineyourservantleadershipcom and figure out all about it.

Speaker 1 12:29

But let's have a question related to the book. So, matthew, what question do we have today? John, you've laid out some great steps for how to advance and progress with change. What is one goal that you had that you truly had to reinforce throughout the process? Okay, so in the book I actually open with the one, that is, this one that was so challenging for me that I needed to reinforce this process, and it was around kind of my idea of being a people pleaser. I might still be a recovering people pleaser. I'm always reinforcing and trying to redefine it as James Clare outlines.

Speaker 1 13:08

But I opened the book with that that I needed to get better at conflict and disagreement, otherwise I wasn't going to be able to stay in the leadership role that I had. And this one is definitely the one where I had to start to change my identity and how I showed up, and that conflict is a good thing for truth, for outcomes, for being clear to people, for getting to the best result. I had to take really, really small steps. I also write in the book my specific goal, which you can even see just kindly disagree with an individual or an idea at least once a week for six weeks. So it was very, very small baby steps. It wasn't like I thought I was going to master this thing the very next day, but what I committed to was I'm going to disagree with the person, I'm going to challenge an idea, maybe a piece of information, at least once a week for six months and get me right. About 26 practice swings every single week. And then I invited people in. I had a coach that I invited in and some trusted colleagues that would help me. There were peers of mine and I started to change some of the language. Just like I shared earlier.

Speaker 1 14:27

I am a type of leader who engages in conflict to strengthen relationships and improve outcomes.

Speaker 1 14:32

Because the story I told myself was that if I engaged, the relationship was going to go sour and we'd never get anything done, and so flipped it on its head, started taking small steps and then involved people where I could have conversations with beforehand. I could check in with them after and be like was I a jerk in that conversation or was I kind and did I get close enough to the conflict or was I still kind of staying back away from it? But that one very much so that the flip from people pleasing to mission driven from nice to kind truth, like all of that around conflict avoidance and engaging in healthy conflict, was the one that I needed to reinforce the most. If you want to learn more about any and all of that story, you can check it out in the book and please enjoy redefining your servant leadership and reinforcing your growth goals in 2024 by focusing on who and how you are, your identity, taking small steps and involving people in the process. Be well, lead on and God bless my friends. You.