Why Connection is Critical for Leaders | Megan Billnoske

How do you build a leadership style that goes beyond the paycheck and truly inspires your team? Megan Billnoske, president-elect for the National Speaker Association in Houston, joins us to share her transformative journey from the high-stakes world of international oil and gas to becoming a sought-after consultant, trainer, and coach. Megan opens up about the ethical dilemmas she faced early in her career, demonstrating why trust and integrity are the bedrock of genuine connections in leadership. Her story is a powerful reminder that effective leadership isn't just about directing work; it's about fostering relationships that motivate and engage your team on a deeper level.

Get ready to glean practical strategies for connecting with your team members beyond their job roles. From using personal preference sheets to organizing creative competitions, we discuss actionable methods to understand and support your employees' lives outside the office. Megan also shares the inspiring tale of a NASA janitor whose sense of purpose was tied to a greater mission, illustrating the profound impact of meaningful work. By recognizing individual strengths and encouraging a collaborative environment, you can empower your team to reduce burnout and thrive independently and harmoniously. Tune in to discover how you can transform your leadership approach and create a cohesive, motivated team.

Connect with Megan:

Megan Billnoske | LinkedIn
Megan Billnoske | Email
Imspire | Website | Youtube | Instagram

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For more information visit https://leadwell.com

The Leadwell Podcast gives mission-driven leaders principled and practical advice to do just that, lead well.

In each episode, your host Jon Kidwell, interviews leaders with great stories, to share strategies that help leaders navigate complex, confusing, and often down-right challenging leadership, personal growth, business, and workplace culture situations.

Jon is a nonprofit executive turned coach, speaker, author, and CEO of a leadership development company. In working with nonprofits and businesses, big and small, he realized the unique challenges leaders face when they are committed to keeping the mission and people the top priority. Those leaders’ commitment to their principles and the people they lead, plus seeing the need for more leaders who strive to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reasons, is what inspired Jon to start a leadership development company dedicated to the success of mission-driven leaders and their organiza...

Transcript

Jon Kidwell 0:04

Hey everybody, welcome to the Leadwell podcast, the podcast where we interview mission-driven leaders who are doing it well and we ask them what they're doing and how they're doing it so that you can lead your business and your people well. And today with me I have my friend, megan Bilnosky. So here's the thing Megan is president-elect for the National Speaker Association here in Houston. She is a consultant, a trainer, a coach, a phenomenal human being, a business owner. And, megan, wherever you are, you just tend to lead where you are and you help other people do it. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast today.

Megan Billnoske 0:41

Hey, it's my pleasure. Thank you for having me and thanks for such a warm introduction.

Jon Kidwell 0:51

My absolute pleasure. I think it really helps establish the connection with the audience and you and you and me and I'm totally riffing on the fact that that's what we're talking about today right, we're going to talk about connection and connection for leaders. So you and I have a fun connection, like we got connected first through work through a mutual friend and then we've kind of taken it from there. Right, we got to do some more work together with the same client. We've had some lunch together, all of those fun things. What else would you add to it or start telling us about that important of really a foundation of connection?

Megan Billnoske 1:26

of connection. Well, I think it's something that happens everywhere, kind of like you shared about how we've got connected and the circles that come from each connection are impressive, Like we've got mutual friends that they asked you how do you know Megan? And you said how do you know Megan? So it's amazing to me that connection is something people seek and then, as a leader, it's really important because if you're not connected to your people, your supervisor, your purpose, I think it just ripples into everything that you're touching.

Jon Kidwell 1:51

Absolutely yes. And when you said, like, let's talk about connection, I immediately started thinking about, yeah, how important. Because we're talking about, like, the leader and the team member relationship, right, and this is somebody who I come to work with, for I spend, you know, a third or more of my life kind of engaging in and around this, and so you started talking about some of those things. But tell us, why is that important? Why isn't it just I come and I do what I'm supposed to and, like, my connection is through my paycheck, my connection is through my work product, like how come it has to be something more than that.

Megan Billnoske 2:33

I think true champion leaders, the ones you know, the kind that we all want to work for, that we think about 20 years later, I think they're masters at it and I don't think a connection to a paycheck is just enough for the right mindset, because if you're really trying to lead people, you're really trying to connect with them, you care about them. I always looked at my teams as if they were, you know, almost my kids, where I have to protect them, like my job is to protect you, make sure you're safe, you have what you need, fend off all the predators of whatever's going on in politics, and so I think when they have that connection, it's much deeper and I think it ties into motivation, making it much easier to just lead well wherever you are.

Jon Kidwell 3:15

Yeah, so I have to ask is yours the prompting for this being such an important thing? Is it come out of a good story or a bad story?

Megan Billnoske 3:24

Oh, um, you know it's a blend if I'm thinking about it. So the connection, when you asked me, you know what do you want to talk about and I thought something that's so important is that connection. I think it's really hard. So you have, you know, different models to understand behavior through disc. What are the different styles? You have Hogan, you have Berkman, all trying to diagnose or figure out how do I like to be connected with and how do I connect with others by adjusting my style. Very much servant leadership, which I know you talk all about, and so my story gosh. I can't lie, most of my story and leadership are bad stories, sadly. I mean a lot of us have those, right yeah.

Megan Billnoske 4:05

Yeah, so what's one that?

Jon Kidwell 4:06

sticks out to you that was like oh, this to me is the pinnacle or the precipice of like. This is why I care so much about connection.

Megan Billnoske 4:13

Okay, got it. Yeah, I love that you asked. Like the big one, I'm going to go with the very first one.

Megan Billnoske 4:18

So I graduated from Texas Tech in 2010 and I couldn't get a job. It was the recession. I was living with my parents here in Houston and I thought, well, I'll just get some part-time jobs until I can get a professional one to help start paying my student loans. So I became a Texas Tech recruiter, loved it, drove the car around recruiting, helping you know just explain what college was like and how to apply, and after about a year and a half I went. I started thinking I need to think bigger. I just don't feel like this is long-term.

Megan Billnoske 4:52

Although I love it, I need the challenge. So, within about a week, I landed a, or after 10 months of waiting, a week of interviewing we'll clarify that. Um, I landed an international oil and gas job, traveling and training all over the world, and I made 34% of the pay raise. I finally got an apartment moved out of my parents' house after two years. I mean, it was just amazing, and they just let me be me Now. The point that ties into your question, though, is about five years after starting that job. Right, it was my dream job, one of them, and I do think you can have more than one, but I had one early on, and I was asked to steal intellectual property from another company on behalf of the, my supervisor and my supervisor was an executive, and so I thought you've been to my house. You know my family. Um, you came to my apartment when I was robbed. Um, I've been to your family. I've been in a fantasy football draft teams.

Megan Billnoske 5:40

I'm an integral part of all of your projects. You bring me into executive meetings to help present and in an instant that connection was completely broken and, quite frankly, there's no going back, because I would never have trusted that you won't just be as open as you were when you told me about this project and for clarity I also said after he explained what the project was, I said so you mean steel? And he said yeah. So there is no ambiguity, there is no story. I told myself this is what happened and so I think the power of connection there. I was probably the most dedicated employee, or one of them, there. I traveled, I supported that entire company, built things, I brought in learning management systems Like I was on the move, building SharePoint sites, and in an instant all of it was.

Megan Billnoske 6:28

I went home, I started fixing my resume and I thought it's over, it's time to go, because I don't respect it and I don't trust anymore. And so that connection piece, I think, is tied in heavily to trust. And if you have an engaged team, you know, or a direct report or a supervisor, if you're engaged you have that trust and I would have done anything for that company. Yeah, and it was all over.

Jon Kidwell 6:52

In an instant because of the break of the connection and the trust and the respect that you had. Corey Shear, who's a good friend of mine, wrote a book about trust and he says trust in the belief that something is true. And like, as I'm sitting here listening to what you just said, I'm like, oh, you and I now both believe 100% that that person's going to ask you to do that again, right, yep, oh man, okay, so yeah, I still get goosebumps.

Megan Billnoske 7:20

That was years ago.

Jon Kidwell 7:22

Extreme example and still you've laid up kind of breadcrumbs for all of us around this connection piece. So maybe my natural bend is I'm a people people and I'm really good at doing that connection. Maybe I'm not right. Maybe I'm really really high kind of drive and you brought up disc right. Maybe I'm a high D and I'm more of the get it done, not the let's do it together type of person. So start laying out for us just what are some of those things that I can do as a leader to help build that positive connection between myself, my team, my team to the work. All of those things. What are some things I could do?

Fostering Human Connection in Leadership

Megan Billnoske 8:03

I think it starts with your intention and what you're wanting to do with your group or your peers, your team, because if you have the right intention, that you want to lead well or have a connection, then that's the intention that'll set you down a path to figure out how do I do that. If you're doing it for a reason, just because it'll make your company more money, it's going to come through. So, recognizing, you need the right intention, the true intention of wanting to connect with them for a real level, and then, after that, I think it comes with how do you do that? Some things I've seen in companies that I've worked across Houston are how do you ask? You know what's their? There was one company I worked for and it was a sheet that you filled out when you got hired and it was all about your favorites. How do you like to receive recognition? How do you like to be appreciated? What's your favorite candy bar? What's your favorite sports team? So I think the connection comes sometimes with understanding that people are people and at work, a lot of times we just see well, your job is this and I need this from you. People and at work, a lot of times we just see, well, your job is this and I need this from you. And we forget that you have a grandma that's about to pass away from cancer or you have a pet that just got lost and you're really upset.

Megan Billnoske 9:13

The human aspect, I think, is most important for that connection first, whether you fill out a form or you just take your team to lunch, or if it's a one-on-one, just asking people about hey, how's your home life, how's your family? And if they don't have a you know children, they still have a family somehow. Or if it's friends, knowing what's important to them is really a huge piece of starting that connection, because then people feel like you care. And if you're a disc style D, like you talked about, get it done. Moving through it, think of it as, in order to get things done, you need to make that connection. So you are working on getting it done, but you have to take that first step first before you can move into execution, if you will. So I think the mindset's first and then figuring out how do you start that human side, how do you start caring about them?

Megan Billnoske 9:59

And, by the way, there was a team I had of five people and I'm looking at my monitor over here because I had a sticky note for all of them. Because I'm not great at memory, sometimes I forget and I feel like it's worse to say oh, you told me your husband's name was Joe and I actually called him John, and now I feel like I'm even like negative points because I called him the wrong name. So I really wasn't listening and so I had sticky notes up on my monitor that had all their names on them and then what their priorities were for their career and their family their names, because I didn't want to miss it, mistake it, and a lot of times we had Zoom meetings so I could reference it because I care. So work with whatever your style is If it's like mine. I'm not good with names until I see them written down because I'm a visual learner. So how do I write them down so I can remember them, the sticky notes? And then after that I think it grows into wanting.

Megan Billnoske 10:47

We have five generations in the workplace and a lot of people are talking about how each generation wants different things from work. I think they all want to feel connected to their job, but I think that looks different for different ones, right? Some people want to pat on the back while other generations say it's your job, you don't deserve a pat on the back, it's your job. So you have different views of it. But that connection part still is your job as a leader to help them see what are they a part of. Can I tell you a story?

Megan Billnoske 11:15

That's one of my favorites to share in training.

Megan Billnoske 11:19

Yeah, so I read it. I think it was in a book a while back and it was about JFK, our president, and how he was walking through the halls of NASA here in Houston and he comes across a gentleman that's sweeping the floor and he's just sweeping back and forth minding his own business and the president of the United States walking by and JFK says, sir, what's your job here, what do you do? And he said proudly, he stopped sweeping, he put his hands on his hips and he said I put a man in the mood and I don't think you can get that kind of dedication from an employee. Motivation, heart, passion. I don't think you get any of that without connecting with your people. However, it works for you and them, because that's the struggle of the connection. It looks different. I always say leadership is an art. It's not a science. You have to create it with different people. But that's a few things you can do to start with a connection, mindset, care about them as humans and a connect them to the purpose of what you're trying to do.

Jon Kidwell 12:20

Yeah, a mindset approach of I want to do this, really connecting, getting clear on some of the things that are important to them and engaging in that way. And then man, that moon one is so remarkable, like how great. Every single one of us are sitting here thinking right, whether I'm in a financial institution, a school or whatever. Like, don't we want everyone to say I put a man on the moon, right, I get kids to do X, y, z, or we provide the opportunity to allow people to build their financial futures, like whatever that might be, how, how wonderful.

Jon Kidwell 12:56

So, if, if I take those steps as a leader and I'm doing those things, I have the intention of saying you know, it's a person, always I want to be connected. I ascribe to the mantra oh, I can have that and I probably have had that and others have probably had it, where it's like oh, megan and I have a great connection, Jason and I have a great connection, sarah and I have a great connection, but Sarah, jason and Megan have never talked to each other and they're on the same team. Like, I am, in fact, the middle of this spider web, so how can I then take this and start to make it more of a web instead of this line into me as a leader. How can I get the team connected with the team and build a little bit of that network effect, if you will?

Megan Billnoske 13:57

I think what you're asking is the root of a high-performing team, the connection that you're talking about. Once you grow that, I think the benefit is when those teams that we all want to be on that's a you know, you don't mind working late to fix the problems or you have good collaborative ideas or have conflict, and it's okay to start that. I had a team when I worked at an international company not the one I mentioned earlier, but another one and my team was in Brazil, the UK, florida and Houston, so I had five people total. It was actually the same one. I had the sticky notes up there for it.

Jon Kidwell 14:29

I would need the sticky notes too If I'm working across time zone continents all of that right, Like I just have to be like it is, I need the clocks on the wall Like here's what time it is in Brazil, here's what time it is in the UK.

Megan Billnoske 14:40

With their photos next to it Exactly, yes. Well, with that team, COVID had hit the entire department of 45 people globally, for our training and development group had I would call it a reorg, and so all the training managers. There's four of us. We all had divisions of the company and they rotated and flipped for some of us and so we got new teams. So imagine this I started working there in some of us and so we got new teams. So imagine this I started working there in November of 2019. I am getting ready by January to go to Brazil for work and I'm super excited to get to go back international. It's one of my favorites. And then COVID hits in March. Everybody works from home. I don't know if you had this, but we had daytime pajamas and nighttime pajamas. Like everybody was just in pajamas for three months. It was so great and then, everybody was so depressed, anyway.

Megan Billnoske 15:30

So that's March. Covid's hit right. It's big, it's nasty, it's growing. There's death on the news. International teams. We started working about 24 hours a day. Australia was actually probably the biggest scenario of that because our company was American based and so they have such a big time zone difference they would have like very little time with their family and they get back on. For you know, like all protocol of kind of boundaries for work kind of went out the window.

Megan Billnoske 15:59

My team was working so much and nobody could go anywhere at all. So you have death on the news, you have high work, you can't go anywhere, Can't get toilet paper, you can't get noodles I mean high stress. And I get a new team in May and so I sat there and I thought, oh wow, Well, I can tell them to take a break and they try, but when there's nothing on TV and your family's all home, everybody was working anyway to do something. And so while I did have connections, I always did one-on-ones with my teams, right. So there's you're growing that connection piece that you talked about. But then to get them to mold together as a team and the reason I'm bringing up this team is because this team was the highest performing team I've ever had and this is how it started. So you need to know that. And with the reorg I went from two people to five and so I had this opportunity to glue people together, get to know people that I didn't know, and then try and be productive.

Megan Billnoske 17:02

And COVID downturn when the whole world says you can't have a business when you're working at home. You have to be in the office to make money as a company. And what I did was I started with my one-on-ones. I just got to know them How's it going? Where's your family members are, I told you. I wrote down things and then we would have bi-weekly team meetings where everyone would be there. I always started off with some kind of question or icebreaker, or I would make sticky note games where they would you know. I'd have it here because it's virtual, and they would tell me a number and I'd peel it off like Jeopardy and they'd have a question. So I started with the human side and then we would talk about business. But then in my one-on-ones, as time went by, projects kept going and there was one person I can vividly remember. I did it with everyone, but this one affected me the most, which is probably why I feel it heavier, or the best.

Megan Billnoske 17:49

He showed me his project plan and we were working on developing things that he wanted to get into as a training manager, and so I said how are we standing organized for this project? So he goes away and comes back in our next one-on-one with the project plan. This is what I found, this is great, this is how I'm organizing it, and I'm thinking you just did this, Did you make this from scratch? And he said it's a template in Microsoft and I just kind of edited it and instead of me saying I'd like to show this to the team, can you send it to me?

Megan Billnoske 18:19

The connection is him having the opportunity to share it with his team not me and him standing in his moment of shining to say, hey, here's what I'm doing, Bringing them knowledge, and also giving him an opportunity to connect with his team. Hey, here's how I'm going to help you. And so I had him. I said would you mind presenting this at our next team meeting? And he said no, you can present it. And I said no, no, I said it's yours. Share what you think, Tell us what. Tell us about it. And then I had another meeting with another lady on our group and she had something similar and I said this is brilliant. You're doing this out of Florida. Why don't you share this with the team on our next team meeting? No-transcript thing.

Megan Billnoske 19:13

Every meeting starts with a safety moment. And he said why don't we do a values moment about how we're living, the values of the company? And I said that's great. I said would you like to lead that? And he said yeah, and so, just like the man in the moon story.

Megan Billnoske 19:25

When you get connect with your people, you really know what drives them and then let them fly like a bird, put them in a position where you like the values that much. Great, you know what we need. That. So it's letting all your team shine together and massaging it on the outside to say how do I put people in the right position to feel like they bring value? And that team, I'll tell you. We still talk on WhatsApp to this day. I still know when people get new pets, I still know when people get new jobs, and so you know. There's one more thing I want to share, kind of in the middle of the COVID thing, that I really think helped. And before I share it, I'm not saying that you need to do this now or all the time- but maybe Use it as.

Megan Billnoske 20:09

But I mean, I think they would like it Because of the environment. Covid, I told you those weren't nonstop, people were not taking breaks, no vacation time was going on. We're getting into July now we're getting into August, september, and I thought, okay, well, I get, we're going to bump up. We did weekly team meetings, so we met more often every Friday on the right time zone, so nobody was working after hours, and I said we're going to use my time to take a break, since all of your time they were working. It's not like I needed to make sure that and manage. Like, what are you doing? This week? They were sending me reports about stuff that was going on. That's plenty.

Megan Billnoske 20:49

But instead of routine meetings, I changed them to games. And guess what? I didn't have to make the games because there was a person on my team that loved them, and so guess what I did? I said, hey, would you like to be our chief fun officer and come up with an activity, every single? I want you to either use 20 to 30 minutes or the whole thing. Figure out a game that we can play as a team. And those games were hilarious. We played categories, we played all kinds of communication games. She made up games and it gave her so much energy and it didn't make my workload any heavier, except to say, hey, I see your talent here. I understand how you can connect to our team and help us. Why don't you go use your skills? We also had on December for the holidays I had a an office wrapping like decorating contest. So everybody, like what your zoom showed was a decorating competition Somebody she was awesome. Somebody in Houston she's the one that won it. She decorated with all. She took wrapping paper and wrapped her entire office.

Jon Kidwell 21:52

Oh, my goodness.

Megan Billnoske 21:56

And then, um, our last meeting of the year, it was a onesie party or, um, no, pajama party. I wear onesie because Mrs Potato Head onesie. And then I put a Toy Story background up with all the Toy Story characters and I was Mrs Potato Head, oh my goodness.

Megan Billnoske 22:10

So I think All of that to say write intention, understand what your people are going through. Yes, we're here to do a job, but in that environment I was very aware of how much stress and burnout was going on and so make moves to change and try something. And I found out that that team had little mini meetings without me, and I love that. I don't need to be in all the meetings. I am connecting you so you understand who does what. You get along together and go forth and do have many meetings without me.

Jon Kidwell 22:44

I don't mind, and so you probably even hope for it. Honestly, right, Like man, I think we get confused because we are always connected, right Like in the terms of the internet.

Jon Kidwell 22:56

So, we're always connected. We think this is something that just exists, when really it's probably a lot more like AOL, and one, it's good to have disconnection time, but two, it really takes that awkward like build up but then we're on. We can be connected but just like the internet, like trust or disempowerment or any of those things can drop it off. And when we approach connection as something that has to be created, has to be fostered, is an engagement and intention in a way to empower people, then we're going to build the type of team and the motivation and the values like you just created. Thank you so much for lining that out for us. So, megan, I ask everybody that comes on and you don't get to get away from this, so you got to let us know what does it mean to you to lead well?

Megan Billnoske 23:51

I think it means to lead where you are. If that's in a tough meeting, I think it means to lead where you are. If that's in a tough meeting, a crucial conversation of conflict, if that's with your family, something's going on and you need to step in and take the lead. Or if you're a new leader that took over a team that's dysfunctional and there's lots of friction. Or if you have a high-performing team, like the one I shared about, and it's leading where you are. Once that team moves into high performance, your job changes. How do you keep them going and how do you evolve? So I think lead where you are is really something that's it's open for interpretation of wherever you are, and I think leaders are all on their own journey at a different phase, and I think that's okay, but you always have an opportunity to lead wherever that is.

Jon Kidwell 24:38

Awesome and I love the heart of service adaptation, self-awareness that really leads to serving people, the organization and the work that you are doing. Megan, thank you for coming on, for connecting with me and for being a fun connection here in Houston. Maybe next time we rally all the troops. We're playing a game when we all get together, never know. Thank you so much for being here today.

Megan Billnoske 25:03

Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure.

Jon Kidwell 25:05

And everybody else. Make sure that you connect with Megan. You can find her on LinkedIn and we will put her website and everything else in the show notes. Go check her out, follow her. She has a great newsletter that goes around for wherever she goes to tie it all back into leadership things. So check that out. And until next time, my friends, be well, god bless and lead on.

Megan Billnoske 25:29

Woohoo, that was fun. I'm sorry, I've got.