Mastering Decisions: From FBI Analyst to Entrepreneurship with Dr. Apollo Emeka

Dr. Apollo Emeka is widely recognized as the "Big Decisions Guy." Despite a non-traditional educational background, having left school after fourth grade before earning his doctorate, Dr. Emeka has led a fascinating career. He served as an FBI intelligence analyst and was a U.S. Army Special Forces Green Beret. Today, he is dedicated to coaching entrepreneurs and executives to make significant decisions using a comprehensive protocol he developed, which helps leaders to navigate through complex decisions effectively. His clientele includes those involved in billion-dollar real estate deals and major global events like the Olympics, as well as industry-shaping company leaders.

Dr. Apollo Emeka shares his three-step Complete Decision Protocol, designed to assist leaders in making well-informed, impactful decisions. This method particularly emphasizes deciding with heart, identifying requirements, and betting on game changers, while recognizing and overcoming obstacles like feasibility, worthiness, and social perception. Highlighted by his personal anecdotes and professional experiences, Dr. Emeka's insights offer leaders practical and effective tools to enhance decision-making processes, thereby navigating towards fulfilling and meaningful outcomes.

Key Takeaways:

• Dr. Apollo Emeka's unique background and experiences contribute to his effective approach to decision-making, highlighting authenticity and dedication as keys to leadership.
• The Complete Decision Protocol involves three steps: deciding with heart, identifying the requirements, and betting on game changers.
• Overcoming internal and external obstacles, such as feasibility, worthiness, and public perception, is crucial for making impactful decisions.
• Effective decision-making is positioned as a foundational skill, which can significantly influence the trajectory of personal and professional life.
• Dr. Emeka emphasizes the importance of involving others in your story and decision-making process, highlighting that collaborative efforts can bring new perspectives and support.

Notable Quotes:

• "We lived our story, but in many ways, it's always changing because it's changing in our minds." 
• "The tricky thing about decisions is you cannot see them. You can see action." 
• "We have this big decision to make, and people love being a part of big stories." 

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Transcript

Walking The Talk In Leadership

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You have to walk the talk. You have to be authentic as a leader. If you're not doing it, they see that.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

It is entirely universal. Just other people who are going through this.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

For me, a great leader needs to be able to marry three things. Vision, systems, and people.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Welcome to Leadership Moments if this is your first time. And if you are returning, thank you for your support.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

This show is about leaders from all walks of life, leadership tips, and maybe even a little of what you wouldn't expect to help you in leadership.

Meet Dr. Apollo Ameka

SPEAKER_02 0:35

We would appreciate it if you tell someone else about our podcast as we strive to support all leaders that want to just be better. Let's get on with the show. Today our guest is Dr. Apollo Ameka. He is known as the Big Decisions Guy. He has lived an absolutely fascinating life. For starters, he didn't go to school much after fourth grade, but then actually went on to earn his doctorate. He also served as an FBI intelligence analyst and a U.S. Army Special Forces Green Beret. And at those places he learned where structured processes and tools are making big decisions. Now Apollo coaches entrepreneurs and executives to make their own big decisions. His clients work on billion-dollar real estate deals, plan the Olympics, or run companies that change industries. Apollo's complete decision protocol helps leaders cut through the noise and make the path forward obvious. And he's here today to help us all decide big. So let's jump in. Apollo, I am so excited to have you on our show today. You have such an interesting story of how you got to where you are, and I can't wait for our listeners to hear it. So I want to jump right in and to for you to tell your story, and then we're going to get into all the great stuff that you're doing today. So can you share your story for our listeners?

The Fourth-Grade Decision That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Yeah. And I I love that, you know, the question of just sharing your story because we lived our story, but in many ways it's always changing because it's changing in our minds and how we remember it is changing. And uh and I have brothers who are much older than me. My my the next brother that's closest in age is 11 years older than me. And over the weekend we were talking about my story, and he kind of cracked something open for me that I I had I had never thought about my own story in this way. Um, and that is that I think one of the most pivotal moments in my life is when I was in fourth grade, I came home like a lot of fourth graders do, and uh walked in the door, and my mom was there reading a book, and I said, Man, I hate school. That's what I sounded like in fourth grade. Ma'am, I hate school. And uh, and my mom she says, Oh, well, uh, you know, we were thinking about homeschooling you. And I said, Oh, so for fifth grade, I could just not go back to school. And I remember she she was, she didn't even look up from her book and she said, You don't have to go back tomorrow. And um, and it my little brain just broke because I had been spending, you know, like my whole life going and standing in line and raising my hand, asking to go to the bathroom, like doing spelling tests and worksheets and all these things, and like having to do like as a child already, right? We have to do like 20 or 30 things a day, protocol, rules. And here's my mom sitting in her favorite chair, reading a book, just being like, all of this can go away if you snap your fingers today. Um, so that it was this moment that I recognized was a big moment, but the way that I've remembered it over the years has changed a lot. And I used to think, oh, my parents pulled me out of school. Uh, and then about a year ago, I was like, no, actually, what my parents did, because they didn't just say, Oh, now you're not gonna go to school anymore. They handed me the power to decide when I would be enrolled in school, which is something different. So every day, so I got to decide did I want to go back to school tomorrow? Did I want to finish fourth grade? Did I wanna, and you know, I was like, hey, it'd be weird to just like not show up the next day, right? So, like, this is a random Tuesday. I can't just stop on a random Tuesday. So I was like, you know what, mom, I gotta go pick up my macaroni art from the back. I gotta say bye to my friends. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go finish out the week. So that's what I did. And then my parents, though, they couldn't, they couldn't wrangle me either. So I wasn't doing homeschooling either. And um, and the thing that my again, the way that I've been thinking about this for the last kind of year as I've been thinking about my own story and how it impacts my life and work is that oh, well, I've had more reps at decision making than most people because I got handed this power and this responsibility to make a decision for something so huge in my life that maybe, you know, people decide where they're gonna go to college and they make start making enrollment decisions at that point. But I was 10 years earlier deciding. And the thing that I that my brother helped me realize is that it wasn't just about reps in decision making, it was about noticing the impact of decisions. I got to notice the impact of decisions so much earlier than most people, and I kind of became obsessed with decision making at that age. I kind of became because I could see cause and effect. I do this thing and I'm not at school anymore, and I could tell I wasn't learning. I could tell I couldn't keep, like I couldn't read. When AOL Instant Messenger came out, and I was in, I was 13 years old or whatever, I could not use it to communicate with my friends. So I could tell the impacts of these decisions that I was making, and it kind of kind of made me obsessed with with thinking about how how decisions impact our lives and got me obsessed with thinking about okay, well, how do I, because I don't have a bunch of habits and discipline and follow-through, and how how can I leverage the power of decisions to get the things that I want out of life?

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Yeah, I love that. It's such a great story. And you know, when you think about, first of all, I want to know if you still have your macaroni art. And right if you still had it that you went back and got.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Well, I'm a hoarder, okay? So I probably had it in a box until I got married. And my wife was like, What is this?

Seeing Consequences And Obsessing Over Choice

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Too funny. Yeah. But you know, the fact that your mom just catches like, doesn't even look up from the book and like you could choose, right? At fourth grade, when we think about the like when I think about myself as a fourth grader and the decisions I could make, it might be like, if I'm not going to eat my whole plate of dinner and what the ramifications would be if I didn't do that, or if I didn't do an assignment, you know, or if I didn't, if I chose not to go with my friends and see my friends, like they were um obviously much smaller in scale and impact for me to get that same recognition that you got with such these large decisions of, you know, am I going to school? Am I actually doing schoolwork? Oh my gosh, I can't even like communicate with my friends now and having that realization. So um really, really powerful of understanding what those decisions are. And so let's kind of fast forward and like what did some of those decision-making frameworks like well, we'll get to your framework in a minute, but like how did that evolve? Because now you have your doctorate. So how did that evolve? Because I don't want people thinking, like, oh, did he ever finish after fourth grade? Yeah, you absolutely did. So maybe talk tell a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Yeah. Um actually, can I take a risk for a second? Can I diverge? Can I ask you a question? Uh you absolutely. I'm curious. You talked about these decisions that you were making about finishing your dinner or going with your friends. Can you remember the first time that you like what do you looking back? What do you think is the first big decision that you made that impacted the trajectory of your life?

Host’s First Big Decision Story

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Oh, I love that question. I would say it probably was in middle school. So maybe sixth or seventh grade. And unfortunately, it was not uh a great event. It was an event where uh my parents, so I'm uh the youngest in my family of many children, and there was confusion on who was picking me up. And so there was no one picking me up. So I was left at the school, and I happened to be on crutches at the time because I hurt myself and danced. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I was going to my softball game that I could not participate anymore, but I was on crutches and I was there at the school with no one around. My parents were around. This is like pre-cell phones, all that kind of stuff. And so I'm like, what am I gonna do? And I'm like, okay, well, I guess if somebody, because there was happened to be like a guy walking, and I was like, well, I guess I'll hit him with my crutch and hobble away if I have to. But he's fortunately, he never this guy was fine. He never did anything, but you know, I had to pre-plan. So to me, that was that was an impact. It was a decision that I had to be like, I was on my own. Like, what am I going to do if this if this event happens? And what am I gonna do and how am I gonna get home? And um, I waited long enough, and my parents finally realized that I wasn't around and that they forgot to forget me. But and it was it worked out fine. But I would say that event was like the first time because of me being in a large family, it was very rare that I got the opportunity to make a decision on my own that only affected me, right? And that was one that I had to, I had no choice.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's interesting because this revelation that I had over the weekend talking to my brother is that it's about noticing the impact of decisions, right? Like there was this constellation of events and decisions that occurred that left you stranded on crutches at school, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

And like probably thinking, like, this is not supposed to happen. Like the universe is broken, right? Like the universe is broken. No, I come out the door, mom or dad is there waiting for me. I go get in the car, they ask me about my day, I say, huh. And then we go home and we do the stuff, right? And like being able to see, like, wait a minute, the universe is not on clockwork, right? Like, there is cause and effect, there are things that happen. And now I have to, and now I'm in a situation where I have to make some decisions.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I I feel like I have to say, my parents are great people, they were great parents, right? It just happens when you have luck, it was just a miscommunication. Who was gonna pick me up?

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Oh my gosh, that's so funny. That is so funny. I'm like, I I watched Home Alone. Actually, we have a uh friends with a winter tradition of watching Home Alone every Christmas. So, like, we've been doing that, and that just gave me a little home alone moment right there, like stay.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yep, yep. Um, so let's let's advance and tell tell me a little bit about how you got to where you are today, and then I want to get into your decision framework for our listeners as well.

From Dropout To FBI And Doctorate

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for uh for sharing that. Um, and I think it is like most of us live these kind of curated lives where things are predictable and it feels like we don't have to make many choices, right? Like, how often do you have to wonder if you're gonna need to defend yourself with a crutch, right? Like that is not a thing. Right. But most of us live these kind of like curated lives um where we're very much decided for and taken care of and things like that. And so we're protected from and also robbed of the opportunity to make decisions to understand cause and effect. And I had, I mean, I just had such an unconventional upbringing that again, like cause and effect of of my decisions, of other people's decisions. It was just, it was, it was incredibly clear. Um, and then uh, so I grew up mostly not, mostly deciding to opt out of school. Um and then uh, but I I and I watched a lot of TV. Shout out to my folks who loved uh X-Files in the 90s, like and so Saturday Night Live, Mad TV, X-Files, like these were my favorite shows. And I grew up from the time I was 13, I was like, I am going to be on Saturday Night Live or I'm going to be in the FBI. That is it. Um, but then I like did nothing that would be required for either of those. I just quit and dropped out of all things um until I was 17. My mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer shortly after I turned 17 and and passed away super quick, um, four months later. And so here I was kind of like didn't have follow-through or pedigree or discipline or basic academic skills. Um, critical thinking off the charts. Like I could talk to any adult anywhere, anytime. Like so critical thinking and certain social things, like I was off the charts, but like most of the things that would be required for college or FBI, not there. Um, and I remember the week that I dropped out, officially like dropped out of uh of of of high school. I got on the phone with an FBI recruiter. And she was like, and I said, I don't want to bring the FBI. That's what I sound like when I was 17. Um like I want to bring in the FBI. And uh she said, okay, well, what you gotta do is just like you're 17, okay, finish high school with really good grades. I was like, okay, don't got that. Get into a good college, doesn't matter what you study, but just get really good grades. And I'm like, okay, can't get into college. All right, and then go work or do whatever for a couple of years. And then, and I was just like, oh my gosh, here I am. And I still have this dream, despite knowing how far away I am. So I realized that my pedigree, my trajectory, my habits, like my just general mindset and orientation weren't gonna be the things that got me there. And so I started to architect this big decision of, okay, I want to do this thing. How am I going to do it? And I I uh my dad signed for me to go into the military at 17. I made the choice to go military intelligence because the recruiter was like, oh, you want to be in the FBI? Uh yeah, go Intel, you're gonna get a top secret clearance, which you're gonna need for the FBI later, and da-da-da. Get some money for college, get skills, cool. So that was a big uh that was a big stair step in in getting there. So I ended up um joining the military, deploying to Iraq super, you know, really quickly. This was early on when Iraq and Afghanistan were just kind of popping off, and um, and that really, really shifted my worldview. You talk about cause and effect on a global scale, impacting countries and cultures, children, all these things. And so I was like, okay, I've got to get my stuff together. I've gotta, I've gotta get, I don't. There are some big decisions being made here in this war zone, and it's they're being made by people with degrees and and and pedigree and cred. So I was like, in I was deployed to Iraq and I was like, I'm gonna get a doctorate. I don't want my cred my my credentials to ever be a reason why somebody tells me no. So it was another big decision that I made when I was like 20 years old, still a high school dropout with a GED. Um, and I was like, I'm gonna get a doctorate. So I I I made these big decisions in life, um, and then went on to do them. Um with and and that's that's where I started to again notice and kind of construct my framework. Um and uh yeah, so I went on to go to undergrad, join the FBI, uh get into a doctoral program. The whole time I was kind of in the reserves in the military, so I went special forces and became a Green Beret in that time as well. Um and then got into entrepreneurship, built a business with my wife, sold it, and have been helping entrepreneurs do that ever since.

Decision vs Action: Why Choices Are Invisible

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Um yeah, and you know, first a couple of things. Sorry for the loss of your mother. Thank you for your service, right? A lot of great things. And I tell people all the time, because we talk a lot about how to take action, because you said, look, I made this decision and I just did it. And the doing it can be really difficult. But I think making the decision can be even harder, which is why I'm so glad that we're talking about this. Yeah. Cause I tell people all the time if you just show up, beautiful things happen in your life. But showing up is so hard, right? And I I equate that to making a decision. So can you get into your decision framework and what helps you do that really difficult first step?

SPEAKER_03 16:52

Yeah, I think I'll get into the framework. I want to say the the tricky thing about decisions is you cannot see them. You can see action. Right? Like we could sit here and I could make the biggest decision of my life right now, in this moment talking to you, Stacey. And you would have no idea that I did it. Now, if I dropped down and started doing 50 push-ups, that's an action. You'd be like, oh, that guy is getting healthier, right? But if I made a choice about my health right now, I made a decision about my health right now, you wouldn't be able to see me do it. You could see me do jump ejects, you could see me do pushups, you could see me taking the action, but you can't see decisions. And that is the thing that I think lets people off the hook from making that is you kind of can't tell the difference. Did I decide or did I not decide? I don't even know. Right? And so I find people will try, they will actually avoid making the decision. So rather than making a decision about how healthy I want to be, I'll say I want to go to the gym five times a week. I'll say, I wanna cut carbs. I wanna, and so we choose these little actions. And we still won't say decide. We choose these little actions. I want to start going to the gym five times a week. Well, why? What's that gonna do for you? And it's like somewhere in their mind, it's gonna make me more healthy. But what if you go to the gym and you actually start eating more, you're hungrier because you're working out, and now you're gaining weight and feeling crappier and getting worse sleep and you're all of these things, but so we won't make the decision to be healthy, which is a decision you can't see. We'll try to say we want to go do a thing that is observable and that we can see. And so I think that is the that's also the challenge with the kind of like just show up, just show up and start doing. And it's like, no, if you just show up at the gym, nothing's gonna happen. Nothing's gonna happen for a while. Right. And so I think, you know, for me, I I try to zoom out and I say, well, what is the decision that is going to actually drive me to want to take the actions that are consistent with fulfilling the decision? So that that that how does that hit you?

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I love that. Well, one, I think that to me, the just showing up is because when you show up, you made the decision that you're doing it, but I agree that you have to have the plan. But what I really like about what you're saying is that we live in a res quick results-driven world. And so I love how you differentiate the action and the decision because I can make a decision silently. Like you said in this podcast right now, nobody knows you don't see the results right away. So, one, what is that doing for me? But two, like, be proud, be proud that you made that decision and that you are going to start taking the steps. And so, how do you you have to flip that mindset of okay, I don't need to see results in five minutes, but I see the result that I actually took. a step forward by making that decision. So I love how you differentiate the two.

The Complete Decision Protocol: Overview

Step One: Decide With Heart And Face The Monsters

SPEAKER_03 20:04

Yeah absolutely. Absolutely. So so let's let's crack open the this complete decision protocol real quick. It's just three steps. It's just three steps. Okay? Step one, decide with heart. Step two, identify the requirements. And step three, bet on some game changers. So I'll give you a brief overview of each of these steps. So step one is is the most important and it's the most skipped. It's deciding with heart. So I I call it step one is like where you come up with your big decision. And the way that you can tell if it's a big decision is when you I I love writing this down. So like write down your big decision. When you when you look at it you write it down and you look at it do you get goosebumps? Do you get butterflies? Like is it a 10 out of 10 on fulfillment when you imagine being there in that it's at the conclusion of that decision. And so it's like that's the first criteria is is it a 10 out of 10? The second criteria is does it sound like a toddler's run on sentence? It should sound like a toddler's run on sentence okay and we've been taught so much to think about goals as like smart goals specific measurable achievable relevant time bound uh and it has given us this it it oversimplifies something that is just inherently complex right like if we're thinking about what we want for our lives life is messy work is messy. And so if we work to oversimplify it too early what we end up doing is we ignore material facts that will impact our ability to actually get those things done. So it's counterintuitive but what we want to do is we want to not be thinking about what's feasible, what we deserve or what other people are going to think when we're making the decision. We'll think about feasibility in a second but don't think about it right now. Make it messy. Make it messy hey I want to be uh you know for me my big decision has to do with the global impact that I want to make the presence that I want to have in my household as a father, as a husband, you know, how I want to show up as a family member and a friend, the types of people that I want to impact in the world. So it's all smashed into this one big decision that I have. So and it sounds like a toddler's run on sentence like English teachers you could tell I didn't go I skipped that part of school because it's not grammatically correct. And then the third criteria for a big decision is people are going to call you crazy. People are going to call when I I was telling people think about it the recruiter was like oh you want to go into the FBI here's the route you should go right the only way that recruiter was able to tell me the route is because I still told this dude right like being a a a high school dropout who had couldn't read or write very well and I was telling him what I wanted. I didn't care if he said y'all you're never gonna I don't care what you think but guess what he helped me and the only way he could do that is because I I did sit in silence and make that conscious decision. So he couldn't see that I made the decision but I made the decision and I'm telling people I want to be in the FBI and they're like oh we'll write this way sir. Right? And some people are like oh you're crazy. I remember family members telling me I was crazy. I don't care. This is what I want this is my 10 out of 10. I want to go there. Right? So this is the part where people I I talk about these three monsters that pop up in the in the in step one three monsters the feasibility monster and the feasibility monster like walks around with clipboard and charts and graphs and a measuring tape and is like no I'm never going to be able to get in the FBI like that. That's not going to work all you this no way. So then we cut our we cut our decisions down we cut our aspirations down. Like oh feasibility monster said it can't be done. Then we got this other one sitting on our other shoulder and that's the worthiness monster and the worthiness monster is like got a mirror and is holding it up to you and is like look at you who are you to want this thing you don't deserve this this doesn't happen for people like you and so we say oh yeah you're right who am I to deserve that look at the other person who has the thing and I don't have anything that they have so so we cut our we cut our aspirations down. And the third monster that comes in is the social monster and the social monster looks like a whole bunch of emojis just globed together. And it's like it's like what are they gonna think if you what are they going to think if you go after that what are they going to think what are they going to say what are they going to say if you try and fail what a great visual all the emojis yes that's how I see them. That's how I explain them in my work with my clients is like these are the three reasons why we cut our decisions and our aspirations off at the knees is because either that feasibility monster is whispering in your ear saying it can't be done so don't even try. The worthiness monster is saying like maybe it can be done but not by you. You don't deserve it or the social monster of what are they going to think? What are they gonna say? What are you gonna say if you fail? What are they gonna even say if you succeed? And so this is so, so, so important and most people are not they're not writing aspirations that are 10 out of 10s. They're writing aspirations that are sixes or sevens and I know because I invite people into the work and I say let's list out your goals and now give me a rating on them. One means you're regretful and resentful when you accomplish the thing 10 means you're over the moon excited super fulfilled and content. And people who bring me their own goals they're a six or a seven and so then we we take these goals and we smash them into the big decision to get that 10 out of 10. So that that is the first step and it is honestly it's probably the hardest step because we we we've been taught either think about feasibility think about what you deserve think about what other people are going to say. And so this clouds are brand and you know the for those of us who weren't left in sixth grade to understand the the the on crutches to understand the impact of cause and effect we almost think our decisions don't even matter. We got to get to the action part we got to get to the action part and I'm like I was taught in military intelligence school to think about how you make decisions. I used to have this instructor in the FBI Academy that was like critical thinking is thinking about your thinking while you're thinking I love that dude shout out to Chuck Summers if you're out there man. So this is like you know that we I've I have in my own life been exposed to cause and effect and then academically and professionally I have been these concepts of how do you make decisions, how do you think critically has been drilled into me. So that's step one decide big.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Yeah I got to say something to that too. I think there's another piece to that because I do a lot of work in energy psychology which is aligning the subconscious and our subconscious mind is actually developed up until seven years old. So if there's things in your life that happen, I don't know about you, but I don't remember anything before five years old. So I don't even know some of the stuff that's in my subconscious that feeds into those monsters without us realizing it. And so through energy psychology you can remove some of those monsters and align your conscious and your subconscious. So totally love what you're saying there because I think it's very very real.

Subconscious Beliefs And Worthiness

SPEAKER_03 27:50

I love that so I mean if it's if it's baked in there at five what's the what from your perspective what do you what and you can tell I'm getting super into this I told you Stacey I start to move forward by the end of the podcast if you're watching this on YouTube, I don't know if this is on YouTube, but by the end you're just gonna be able to see like my eyes. That's when you know you're into it. No.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

But yeah so like what with that with that subconscious piece how do you think that let's play it out a little further like how does that actually please yeah so let's say you're um when you're a young child, if you do something wrong, your parents might tell you like you don't deserve that toy or you don't deserve that ice cream because of maybe something you did right and it might be the way you talk to your sibling or that you didn't listen when they asked you to come to them or something somewhat small. And so but what you hear and your subconscious records, I don't deserve at that fill in the blank for the rest of my life. And so we often say and that's exactly what you're saying with the feasibility, the worthiness you know all the emojis of what other people are going to think right. And so I don't even know that that's in me. I feel it I hesitate you know I know that there's things but I don't really know what it's back from. And so when we align but we know we want to deserve and we want to things so now we align the conscious and the subconscious and we reprogram that subconscious mind to enable you to move forward.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

I love it. So are we talking neuroplasticity?

SPEAKER_02 29:27

It's it's possible to reprogram yeah it's actually I do psyche um which is one of the energy psychology modes um so you can like hypnosis is probably the most people do this is not hypnosis. You're fully awake the whole time you actually perform the whole thing I just walk you through it but it's a way to do it. It's been it's over 30 years old uh that people have been doing this. So it's it's very very cool um and it's been very powerful with my clients.

Step Two: Identify Requirements With “Unless”

Step Three: Bet On Game Changers

SPEAKER_03 29:54

This is where and again that that that big decision right now I am in building mode in my life and in my business. One of the big decisions we made is in in January of this year um decided to pick up and move to Panama City Panama a country we've never visited to we still have two humans whose whose subconscious are still forming according to you Stacy. We have a seven year old and a four year old and um and so you know I'm in building mode and I have been showing people just like I told that army recruiter that I want to be in the FBI I've been showing people my big decision. I showed you Stacey I showed you uh when you spoke when we spoke last week um and so that's the cool thing about steps two and three when you because step two is identify the requirements step three is bet on some game changers. So like requirements is a strong word and I use that intentionally because think about it. If you have this monumental thing that you want to accomplish or I mean really honest it doing anything is hard. So it's like it doesn't even have to be that incredible and what's incredible to you is different than what's incredible to me. So really it really doesn't matter it's just like hard to actually do stuff in life it's hard to life and so when you have this big decision you can show other people you can look at what might be required and you can just start ruling things out right and saying like ah well I'm definitely going to need to have this. But then once you go and you show other people expert people who are experts in it people who have done it before people who know nothing about it people who are trusted friends people they will help you identify what is required. They will say oh well definitely if you want to do this if this is the thing that you want to do you have to do this right and so that's what I'm always looking for. I I one of the ways that you know you're onto something is if you show somebody if you tell somebody a big thing that you want to do and they say that's impossible unless unless is one of the most powerful words. Whatever they say after unless write that thing down because you know that it's a requirement right and so what we will often do is we keep these things to first of all we don't go 10 out of 10 on our big decision. We go like six out of 10 and then we still go and we tell somebody about it and they're like oh that's impossible unless right and so those are the things that we want to write down because if we don't pay attention to those things and it truly is a requirement to get the thing that we want we're eventually going to run into the absence of that thing. So again top secret clearance have to have one to get into the FBI. Have to right if you're if you do drugs if you get in trouble with the law if you you know if you can't pass a lie detector test it doesn't matter you could do everything else to get into the FBI everything else but it's gonna be impossible if you can't pass a background check and get a top secret clearance right and so if I if that was my dream and I'm out here doing all this illicit stuff, hanging out with the wrong people, I could do everything else right. But then I'm eventually gonna run into like oh wait you can't pass a background test? Oh wait you've done drugs oh wait you have a DUI oh wait you have a this right so um so that's why when we get to step two, this is where we get to be pragmatic. But step two can be scary for folks because now we're starting to actually again look at that cause and effect. We're starting to look at like oh these are the things that actually unlock the thing that I want but once you have that list then you can say oh okay well now I have my to-do list right and then step three is betting on game changers and this is where we say okay what we start we're just starting to look we've got our bases covered so we like we know we can pass a background check right we're going on international travel we know we've got our passport so we can that's good we've got our it's what's required to go on international travel passport. You can show up with flights bags packed excursions booked you don't bring your passport you're not going you can be in denial and be like no no maybe maybe I can sweet talk them maybe I no you are not going. So like this is what we do though. We think about feasibility at the wrong time we think about feasibility when we're trying to decide what we want and then we ignore feasibility when we're actually trying to identify what is required to get there. So again forget feasibility on the front end and then pay super close attention to feasibility in the next step. And so that when you're looking at step three which is bet on game changers, it's like what is a thing that if I were to accomplish dang near guarantees that my big decision will be a reality. And this is where you're like I'm gonna swing for the fences on this thing because I know that if this thing happens, then I am dang near guaranteed to get there. So like I'll use the FBI example again FBI honors interns. There's like typically 16 to 2000 applications for 200 to 300 slots at FBI headquarters. But if you get in there you're basically in the FBI. And so I recognize this thing as a game changer. So I poured so much energy and effort into becoming an FBI honors intern. And out of those whatever 1600 I was one of the 250 selected that year and I got two job offers out of that in the FBI. And so like that I recognize that internship as a game changer again by having conversations with people. Having conversations with people they showed me hey if you can go the intern route you're damn near guaranteed. And I'm like excuse me say what say what so now again like but this is only possible because I put the big impossible thing out there. Right? And then it's possible because I I covered my basis. Now again if I go and I try to apply to that FBI honors internship program but I can't pass a background check it doesn't matter. Right? So we've got to make sure it's like deciding with heart identifying the requirements betting on some game changers and you just do this process over and over and you can do it on your life you could do it as a strategic plan. You could do it on how am I going to get groceries today? Like you can do it at any level decide with heart identify the requirements bet on game changers love it.

Community, Story, And Momentum

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Love it so many great points in there and um I love like it's all things we know but then you just don't do you don't think of when you're doing it or you think of it at the wrong time. And so I like how you're like the timing of this really matters too and to really hear the one thing that you added in there that I talk about all the time that I want to enhance is how you say I was talking to people and I heard if you get the internship like you're almost guaranteed. That community and talking to other people is so powerful and it's so important to put yourself out there, build those connections, meet those people but I always caution people like meet people to see what you can do for them what you can give and it will always come back to you. Don't just meet people to say what can I get from them but I really love that you added that in there.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

Yeah and I I just want to add a piece to that people we talk you know you open this by talking about stories and people love story. People love being a part of big stories. So when I show people my big decision to be recognized globally as a big decisions guy in three years right and to accomplish all of these things people are like oh shoot what I want to be a part of this story. If you go in conversely right and you're like I want to be on some podcasts and like talk about some stuff and I I really like psychology and I was thinking like maybe doing something in psychology people are like cool good luck awesome right so like it's it's so interesting because when you when you do make that big decision and you share it with people the thing that people when you talk about like because I think this people get hung up on like networking and relationship building is like what can I do for you? But like sometimes inviting people into a powerful story to be a part of something when everybody else is again like going through the motions right and it's like oh man I have I have an opportunity to be a part of this story to help this person along their journey they're trying to do these big things like and I get to be a part of like saying I was there. And so like everything that we think about decide making big decisions, setting goals and aspirations and even inviting other people into our story it's like it's off.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah yeah because people want to feel good and they want to be around people that feel good. When we find our purpose and we are moving toward our purpose we feel good. So people naturally you know want to be part of that and love that so great. So all right there's that sound it's time for our fun questions are you ready for our questions I don't know but here they are well you're bringing so much energy I think it's gonna be great all right the first question would you rather always have to sing when you talk or dance when you walk I'm gonna go dance when I walk yeah I love it. Are you a dancer naturally like do you love to dance?

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Um I do like to dance and I grew up actually doing uh capoeira which is like an Afro-Brazilian martial arts dance kind of thing and so um like I am the guy who there are there are pictures of me shutting down a gala uh at a dance battle on the internet somewhere so yeah I I I do enjoy dancing and I was just thinking how like I wish I could sing.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

So like if I could sing I might choose sing but like uh yeah my wife plugs her ears great okay next question would you rather have your life narrated by Morgan Freeman or scored like a movie soundtrack?

Rapid-Fire Fun Questions

SPEAKER_03 40:08

Oh my gosh, that is tough. I think either way, it would be incredibly hilarious. Like I'm thinking like Morgan Freeman from the Lego movie, not like uh not Shaw Shank Morgan Freeman. I'm thinking like Lego movie Morgan Freeman. Um, so when I think about that, or I just think about like I I love music so much. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Morgan, but I gotta go with music. And it and it goes along like to the dancing, you know, if I'm gonna be dancing everywhere I go, uh then I need to I need a soundtrack to do it too.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

There you go. There you go. I love it. Well, Apollo, thank you so much for your time today. I think our listeners are walking with away with so many great nuggets. Um, really appreciate your time. Love your energy and enthusiasm, your passion on decision making, differentiating the the decision making versus the action. So many things. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

Thank you so much, Stacy.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

If you enjoyed the show, please go to LeadershipMomentspodcast.com to subscribe to the podcast or on your favorite player, as well as follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

You can also send us a message on what you like and don't like or what guests you want us to have on the show.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

So until next time.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

This is Stacy Caster, and what does it challenge you won't change you.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

And I'm Tracy Ann Palmer. Be the change you wish to see in the world.