How To Lead With PURPOSE w/ Robert DeLaurentis

Robert DeLaurentis, a former Navy officer and successful real estate investor, pivoted his life’s journey towards leadership, spirituality, and aviation advocacy. After feeling unfulfilled by traditional business success, Robert embarked on a remarkable journey of personal growth, which led him to complete challenging global aviation adventures. He's authored books on leadership and spirituality, focused on merging business acumen with spiritual insights to achieve greater life fulfillment. Through his foundation, Robert continues to inspire others by sharing his experiences and advocating for peace and joy through innovative pursuits.

Explored against the backdrop of his unconventional life path, Robert discusses the profound impact of authentic leadership and the necessity of embracing a noble purpose beyond material success. Drawing from his experiences as a Navy officer, corporate worker, and real estate mogul, Robert illustrates how spiritual consciousness can offer a significant competitive edge in business.

Robert's story unfolds from his unique upbringing in Jakarta to his later-life achievements, including his adventurous flight missions circumventing the globe. He shares how the realization of this noble purpose propelled him into founding the Lorena’s Foundation and how significant mentorship, particularly from influential women in his life, has guided him towards a fulfilling legacy grounded in giving back. His narrative emphasizes evolving from a career-focused lifestyle to one ripe with meaning and impact, portraying how transformational leadership and spirituality intersect for profound personal and communal change.

Key Takeaways:

• Authentic Leadership: Robert underscores the importance of authenticity in leadership, advocating for leaders to align their vision, systems, and people to foster genuine impact.
• Spiritual Insights in Business: Robert shares how spiritual psychology provides a competitive edge, encouraging leaders to include noble purpose in business strategies.
• Joy vs. Happiness: A profound insight from Robert is distinguishing joy from happiness—advancing the notion that joy is intrinsic and resilient, unlike fleeting happiness derived from material gains.
• Role of Mentorship: Highlighting the influence of mentors, Robert credits significant women leaders in his life for providing guidance, emphasizing the value of seeking wise counsel.
• Impact of Giving Back: The episode resonates with the notion of legacy, illustrating the vital importance of contributing positively to the community and broader world through one's success.

Notable Quotes:

1. "When everybody else is hitting the brakes, you stomp on the gas as hard as you can."
2. "Happiness is like, 'I got a cool house.' Joy, it's something you remove the barriers to; you’re born with it."
3. "You get to this point where you can't mitigate anymore. You just accept or disappoint everybody you’ve promised."
4. "You're rewarded for your good deeds, and my life is still improving as a result. That's what I call success."

Resources:

• Robert's Books: "Flying Through Life" and "Zen Pilot: Flight of Passion and the Journey Within"

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Transcript

Walk The Talk Leadership

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You have to walk the talk. You have to be authentic as a leader if you're not doing it.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

They see that.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

It is entirely universal. There's other people who are going through this.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

For me, a great leader needs to be able to marry three things: vision, systems, and people.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Welcome to Leadership Moments. If this is your first time, and if you are returning, thank you for your support.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

This show is about leaders from all walks of life, leadership tips, and maybe even a little of what you wouldn't expect to help you in leadership.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

We would appreciate it if you tell someone else about our podcast as we strive to support all leaders that want to just be better. Let's get on with the show.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Hey Robin, it's so fantastic to have you on the Leadership Overs podcast. I have just been so looking forward to this for our audience. I'm so excited. So I'm really excited for our audience today. And thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Yeah, thank you. It's it's great to be on your show. And uh we certainly um are aligned in the same direction, I think, when it comes to uh business and leadership and and even spirituality too.

Childhood In Jakarta And Early Lessons

SPEAKER_03 1:16

I'm gonna take everyone on this beautiful journey of your life because boy, it has been absolutely fascinating, interesting, and through it all, I there's so many gold nuggets. I mean, I I I know I took like five pages of notes from my conversation because I'm like, oh, that's incredible. Oh, yes, yes. So that's what I'm hoping is going to happen here today. So where I wanted to just start is, you know, uh tell tell the audiences a little bit about you growing up, how how you kind of got started in your business career and all of that.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

I um spent part of my childhood growing up in Jakarta, Indonesia. Uh, when I was uh 10 years old, my family moved over there. And it was a very sort of non-traditional childhood. My dad, who um was the controller for uh Fairchild Electronics, um, was sent over to start a manufacturing facility in a third world country. And, you know, as an observer, because we learned from other people's examples, I saw him working very hard, uh, long hours, and then achieving, you know, this goal. And they produced integrated circuits out of that factory for many years. So um my world started to open, and I saw that it wasn't just the traditional uh Catholic school path that I was put on. Um, but I also think was open to different possibilities. And that was one of the great things that I learned, you know, being overseas. And then, of course, every time anybody travels, you start to say, well, these people are different than me, but they're really not, right? They all want the same things, they want a happy family, a healthy family, uh, financial security, and they pursue uh joy uh and happiness, which are two entirely different things, really. But um, and it was just a good start, I think, in my life. I was uh intrigued by airplanes, and I remember at uh the joint embassy school, my dad and I uh had one of my Cox string control planes, and we set up uh um tables, you know, lunch tables to try and launch it. Uh and I remember it bounced from the first table to the second table and then just crashed. And that was kind of the end of that plane, but it was a good lesson, right? Uh and I would eventually go back and get that right and uh start uh an interest in aviation as well.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Wow, that's fantastic. So uh you you sort of followed in some ways down the corporate path, like you know, your dad had probably taught you, like this is the right way to go, Robert. Let's let's get down that corporate path. So tell us a little bit about that journey and then the pivot, uh, I think, or at least the start of your sort of your life and and and where where it ended up.

Military Service And Corporate Reality Checks

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Yeah, my dad was uh Fortune 500 CFO and uh multiple Ivy League graduate degrees and very um very clear on the path he wanted me to take. I would uh start with the military. Actually, I would start before that with college, of course. And I think I um left that traditional path because he very much wanted me uh to go to an Ivy League school. I didn't get in uh to one. I ended up going to USC, uh joined the military, which made him very happy. Uh the Gulf War started shortly after that, and I got the experience of you know the North Arabian Gulf and being on a guided missile cruiser as a junior officer. Uh eventually I got out. Um, actually, I got out as fast as I could. I was the first to qualify on the in the 60-year history of this um guided missile cruiser by passing boards and studying and becoming a proficient in a watchstand. So I got out, went to work for Arthur Anderson, largest accounting consulting firm in the world, and uh promptly got myself fired after about uh almost two years.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Um how old were you? How old were you?

Fired Then All In On Real Estate

The Balboa Park Awakening

Spiritual Psychology As Business Advantage

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Um by that time, I think I was in my mid-20s. And uh, you know, again, another probably disappointment to my dad. I had applied to um go to Wharton and uh was not accepted in. Uh the the lady that I interviewed with, I remember her saying, you know, why why Wharton? Why, why do you want to go here? I said it was never um uh if, but when. And she said, Well, you've had some success in the world. You know, a lot of our graduates don't even get that far. Why would you want to come back to school? So, you know, there was always that sort of guidance. And what I would learn later in life was that the energy should be put into being open to the possibilities that are presenting themselves rather than you know, forcing something or trying to just figure it out. You know, like this weekend I'm gonna go away and figure out what the rest of my life's gonna look like. It doesn't unfold like that, and it takes time, you know, an element uh that the universe probably has a different understanding of than we do, because we always want stuff now, and that's not how it works. Um, so anyway, I uh left Arthur Anderson uh carrying my box of personal belongings, feeling sorry for myself, you know, wondering how I was gonna um cover my uh mortgage payment on my small place that I had bought, pretty much feeling like a loser, you know, to be direct about it. And um that was the point where I started investing in San Diego real estate. And at the time, nobody was buying, it just seemed like a bad thing to do. Interest rates were very high. Um and it just didn't seem like a safe investment. And what I would later learn in life was that when everybody else was hitting the brakes, you stomp on the gas as hard as you can. And I had three credit cards. I started um maxing them out for down payments on properties. Uh, I would eventually go back into the military and um for six-month periods of time to get these loans. And the banks saw me as an active officer in the Navy. They didn't really understand the difference between reserves and active. And that's really where I got my start was uh renovating properties. All my buddies would go to Vegas, you know, with their girlfriends on the weekend and have a great time. And I was on my back underneath uh rental properties, cutting sewage lines, um, getting really dirty and stinky, and uh trying to get these properties back online before those uh credit cards uh hit my credit report, you know, the charges that I had made. And I just was so excited to be doing this real estate stuff. You know, it was a way that I could um make some income, but uh start to build a portfolio that would eventually over the next 30 years grow. And there was a solid 30 years of just hard work on you know, uh small claims lawsuits and um just struggle, you know, top ramen. I used to joke that I liked top ramen, just not every day. So um uh and you know, making those first critical decisions were so important to make those right. And uh I remember I went to my dad and he was just like shaking his head and going, you know, what are you doing? You're taking these risks, you're using your credit cards, uh, you could lose it all. And I said, Dan, I have nothing to lose. I'm just starting out. You know, it's just me. I don't have a family, uh, I don't have uh much responsibility, and I'm learning a lot. So, you know, let's see how it goes. And um, he was kind of like that book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, right? He was the corporate guy, and I was the non-traditional crazy guy. And it was really interesting to watch the portfolio grow over almost 30 years, really. And, you know, we went through a couple of the different bushes uh as presidents, and I think when I looked back at one point, real estate was growing at 32% a year in San Diego. So, you know, talk about being in the right place at the right time. San Diego is a beautiful town, and um uh I was very, very fortunate in that regard, but I don't think it happened just so that I could have a nice place, a nice car, um, you know, relatively nice clothes. It was setting me up for something much bigger. And I think that we don't have success just so we could be cooler or have nicer things or more cars. We're being set up because uh we're getting ready for the next step, which I call legacy building, um, or said another way is just giving back in the world to make it a better place because you've been gifted um, you know, some tremendous uh opportunities of time and money. And eventually I got to the point where I was buying properties two at a time, uh, not using the credit cards anymore. I had some equity. And I was walking through Balboa Park, which I'm actually looking at right now, and I had walked through the park for many, many years. I would, you know, go on the same path and see the trees and all this stuff. But on this one particular day, it was different. I noticed that the uh grass was greener. Uh there it had just rained, so there was water droplets reflecting light. The sky was so blue, the air was so cool and clean, and I could hear the birds chirping. And I had uh what some people call a spontaneous awakening. Uh, to me, it was just an awareness, really. And it was that, oh my God, I've been walking through this park for 10 years and I've never had this experience. I've been numb to what's around me and the opportunities. And then the next thought was, well, what else am I numb about? Could it be family? Could it be friends? Could it be relationship? Uh, could it be my business? And at that point um is when I started my spiritual journey. And I I should say too that when I was buying these properties, I was always really excited. You know, I closed another one, I close another one. And then I got to the point where I had like no response. Like it was like, okay, I just closed another one. Uh, so I realized that I was numb there too, right? Um, and then that was the beginning of the spiritual psychology graduate degree uh with an emphasis on consciousness, health, and healing and really applying those concepts into the business and then watching a radical transformation.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Yeah, and I want to I want to kind I want to touch on that because that that was uh something that this was fascinating in our conversation. Uh, because what what what you said was the spiritual psychology actually gave me a competitive advantage in business. And I want to just dig into that a little bit because uh I I want to know what you mean by that, at least for for our audience, because that was interesting. And of course, and I went on a whole journey with you, Robert, trying to figure that piece out.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yeah, that you know, it was really a funny um moment when I eventually realized what was happening. When you go to college, when you go to a business school, it almost doesn't matter which one, you do Harvard case studies, right? They have the situation where something's going terribly wrong for the company, and you need to step in and make suggestions. And eventually you get pretty good at that. I enjoyed it myself, and then I realized that I had just graduated, and everybody across the United States had studied the same stuff, and we're being thrown into this competitive pool. And now somebody say, Okay, now you need to win. And that's hard to do when everybody's been trained in the exact same way. You need an edge. And for me, um, it was the spiritual psychology. And my first book called Flying Through Life and the Through is THRU was what I had labeled. Actually, a lady before me had uh called it out, but I I call it as well applied spirituality. So the book talked about 19 concepts that you could apply in business that would give you a competitive edge. One of which uh is pretty basic, but uh it's a noble purpose. So, again, like I said before, if you're doing it because you want a faster car, nicer clothes, better house, wrong. Uh, you may do okay. But uh if you're doing it because you're trying to change the world for the better, you're trying to educate people on something that'll help them live a better life. If you're trying to go out into the world and advance science, like I did on my equatorial and polar circumnavigations, uh, if you're doing it to write children's books and put a movie out like Peace Pilot that I think will change the world, um, then I think you have a much, much better chance. And the universe gets behind you and supports you. Other people just get excited and they want to help you too. So you're building, you know, a team, a very fundamental business concept, right? And it becomes a mission of many, not a mission of one. So I think at that point you're almost unstoppable. And, you know, there's these other concepts that we can get into if you want, but um, you know, from the very start, you've got to be doing something positive. And then you feel better about yourself. You feel good working the impossibly long hours, you feel better when your buddies went to Vegas and had a great time and saw some shows, and you're sort of you know moving around in sewage um on your back for the weekend. So it uh it helps power you through some of those moments. You know, I couldn't even get some workers to go underneath some of those places, they're just like they changed their heads and go not doing it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

That's funny. So that's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, it's funny now, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:22

I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but you know, I really I really love that though, because um one one of the things uh you know in in in our nonprofit that we teach with for leaders is that we have an accountability to give back and to pay it forward, whether that's in our community or in our lives. Um and and you use that word legacy, and and that to me is is part of it. Like you get to a certain place in your life where you realize, sure, I'm just so blessed. And and if you're not spending the rest of your life then with that, you know, that heart of okay, it's time now to give back to others, um, there's something wrong with you. You you you certainly aren't demonstrating any sort of leadership uh qualities at that point in time. And there's I'm sure there's a lot of people out there that, you know, uh think that's okay. But back to your point, um, you know, the world around us embraces, embraces that mission of many. Um and and I want to talk more about that because of course your your path to the mission of many and to giving back an impact, you've built something bigger for you. It wasn't you started out doing the real estate, but really what you've done is you've leveraged that as an opportunity to do something of impact for the entire world, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Yeah, and you know, the funny thing too is that it didn't come early. Like I didn't really get my traction until I told you I retired at 37 and then went back to work uh because that was too early. I had more to do, and I went back to work until 43. And then since then I've been, you know, working on um the foundation and giving back. But everybody I think nowadays thinks they're gonna be a Bitcoin billionaire. And if they don't have it figured out by 18, you know, well, you know, it's not gonna happen. Not true. You know, the universe is billions of years old. So if it takes me, you know, to my midlife or beyond that, that's actually fast in cosmic terms. So um be patient, which is a terrible skill that I don't have, but um, but yeah, be patient.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

So I want to get everyone on this journey. So you you get on to like you started the foundation, you know, businesses are running great, you know, things are rolling, everything's great. Like, tell me a little bit about how that's how that starts to transition in in your life.

Surrender And The Universe Deal

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Well, you know, it actually wasn't perfectly great because I had uh some problem getting my ass kicked type problems. And um what they were was I just had uh one of my apartment buildings had it uh burned, not completely, but enough to set off the sprinkler system and you know put 50,000 gallons of water down on all the units. Um, I had uh some vacancies, and then I had a house that just would not sell. And um, you know, I had money tied up in that. It was frustrating. And one day I decided, you know, I'm gonna make a contract with the universe, I'll make it impossible so I don't actually have to do anything. I just, you know, think about this a little bit. And the deal was if you take care of those three major problems, um, I'll take two years off and I'll lecture, I'll write books, and I'll I'll share what I learned. And then within two weeks, um, the insurance company wrote me a check for the building and agreed uh to pay the rents for the next year. Uh, got an all-cash offer on the house because it was certainly not going to appraise for what I was asking for it. And then the vacancies went to zero. And I went, oh my God, I guess I'm gonna have to do this. I thought that was like a preposterous request. And then, if I wasn't clear enough on it, within the next two weeks, I got a tax refund. I got uh money from a buddy who had unfortunately passed away and his family paid it back. And then my dad had agreed to pay for part of my graduate education, assuming um it was a you know a certified program, I forget the exact word. And, you know, sure enough, that happened. So I thought I have six examples of how I've got to go out and and do this. So it was a matter of letting go and then going out and just um you know, starting down this path, which turned out to be a ton of fun. Uh, and I'm still doing it today. That two years turned into 20 years. So um 20 years. Oh, I gotta do my math. No, uh a little more than 10. I'm like a house pet. I'm not good with like time, right? It could be five minutes that you left, but it seems like five years. Um yeah, so you know, things got really, really good. And um, the point I didn't tell you about before was uh there's this concept of surrender. And it's not like you know, I give up, take my money. It's I give up and I'm gonna let um you know spirit sort of guide me. And the thing about the concept that's really tricky is you can't surrender 99.9999%. You've got to surrender a hundred percent, which is is not easy to do. And I remember um one day I decided, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try that. And I'm not gonna try, I'm gonna do that. And I thought, well, this could end up that uh the universe decides that I need to learn my lessons through some sort of illness, or I need to lose my entire business. I need to be like Ecrictolian sit on a bench in the park, which is not far away, for two years and just meditate. I was like, I or illness, you know, like um just some sort of struggle. So I I decided I would do that. I remember just the tears uh pouring off my face. And I told you that grown men do cry earlier in this conversation, right? So um it was it was like this moment where the energy just was released, and within I'd say a couple weeks, wonderful things started happening to me. And you know, the normal trajectory was like not that steep, but I felt like it went like that. And I I was reflecting back, looking at what was happening, just going, oh my god, this is crazy. This is amazing.

Building The Aviation Foundation Vision

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Wow, that's amazing. So I I don't I I know um we spoke a lot about your flying in the foundation, but I want the audience to hear what you've done, uh, how that started. Uh you mentioned you mentioned your love for aviation, uh, but your love for aviation has gone beyond traditional tradition. Traditional love. I'll just call it that. Okay.

Polar Flight Planning And Engineering

SPEAKER_00 22:03

It feels crazy sometimes. But where it started was the love of aviation. And then at uh this point where I got out of my normal role, I identified my passions, which were flying, spirituality, and a business. And I was trying to come up with a way where I could really incorporate all those into a perfect life, right? Or the life that I wanted to live. So I started an aviation foundation in 2013 called the DeLorenis Foundation. And I started to think about what would be the coolest thing I could do in a plane. So uh I started uh reading and flying, learning how to fly, moving through all my different uh ratings, you know, multi-engine commercial, all these different things, instrument. And I read about a guy named Bob Gannon who had flown a plane around the world. And that was like mind-blowing. Like you could fly a small plane around the world. Like, what would that be like? So I just continued on and uh got to be a proficient pilot, uh, flying faster, higher flying, more capable planes, and decided um that I would fly over to Europe one summer, which was crossing the North Atlantic. And that was filled with so many challenges and just terrifying moments and you know, bad weather, turbulence, and all kinds of crazy stuff. And I got over to Europe and had a tremendous time. My friends were like, hey, why don't you go all the way around? You're halfway there. And I wasn't prepared for that. So I went back to the US and started preparing. Uh, it seemed like the coolest thing I could do, and we were making progress, picking up sponsors, teamwork, right? Um, eventually on that uh circumnavigation, I had about 35. On the second one, I had 95 because they could see I had some success and was a good spokesperson and was promoting the products. That's a story in itself. But um yeah, I I had a really hard time of it, but got back, was successful, wrote the book Zen Pilot, Flight of Passion, and the Journey Within. Uh, had an audio book recorded and did over a hundred TV, internet, magazine, newspaper interviews, and it was declared a success even by the naysayers. And there was a lot of naysayers, a lot, a lot. Emphasize that. So after a while, you know, I was like, okay, well, that was pretty good. Most people will do one circumnavigation that, you know, even attempt it. One out of ten that say they do it, uh, actually do it. And then once they do it, they're done. Because that was too scary and too dangerous. So um a few years later, I was thinking, well, what's next? And my dad um sent me an article about how the only two places on the planet where peace has always existed was the North and South Pole. And I thought, wow, maybe I can try a polar circumnavigation. Well, it turns out that's a lot, lot harder. And um, I would say three times harder, three times more expensive, three times riskier, three times crazier. So I set out and I had prepared for the other trip in six months. And I thought, well, this will be another six months. I'm more experienced, uh, have more friends and support sponsors. It ended up taking 18 months, not because I wasn't working on it every day, but because it was so complicated, so difficult. And we just kept identifying additional risk, like you would in business, and then doing our best to mitigate what we could. But then you get to this point where you can't mitigate anymore. You just have to either accept it or disappoint everybody you promised and walk away knowing you're gonna, you know, live. And I'm like, I'm not gonna break my promise to all those people. That's not who I am. I'm gonna just keep digging in harder and harder. And you would never sign up for that program if you knew all the risks and the challenges and the expense. In fact, my my business at the time in San Diego was the primary sponsor of that. And I told the property management firm to just bleed it dry that I needed to go on this trip. And I was willing to risk all that. So they did bleed it dry. I went back to a mess, but uh it certainly got me on my way. And, you know, to give you an idea, as I got closer to departure, um, I was waking up with panic attacks in the middle of the night. I was bleeding internally, I was losing my hair, not the hair, right? Not at my age. And um I was afraid because I had finally to deliver on what I've been promising people. And I took about a half million dollars in sponsorship. So that was a chunk of change, right? You can't just disappear after something like that. So I was I was in it and I was not gonna give up despite you know all these things that were happening to me. And to take a plane that's designed to fly for six hours and push its range out to 19 is near impossible. In fact, I think most pilots would say, no, that's not possible. You can double the range relatively easy, not safely, but easily, right? By adding fuel tanks. But to go beyond three times, total insanity. Total insanity. So um I just started modifying this plane, a Turban Commander 900, in every way possible that would improve the safety, uh, the range, the altitude, and the speed. One of the things we did is we put Predator B-drone engines on this aircraft. Uh, custom design some propellers that would go on to be a total financial success in the market. Um, 50, or I'm sorry, 95 sponsors in all. And we did everything financially and humanly possible to get that plane um to fly. But the funny thing is, all those modifications don't necessarily work together, and it was causing a tremendous problem. So each day we were struggling to trying to get this plane to work, and then going, how am I going to go for six to eight months and have this thing work when it's breaking every day? So that was another thing that was causing me to lose sleep. Eventually, I got to the point where I felt like I could um do the flight. I didn't truly know if it was possible, though, because I had been telling everybody it was possible and thought that it was possible. Um, and then it came time to test the plane, and we would need to project the range of the aircraft. And I had found the designer of the wing, and he did a feasibility study, told me exactly how much fuel I could put in the plane without literally breaking the wing. And uh it wasn't until about two weeks before departure that I had a successful test flight, and a very brilliant engineer named Robert Morgan projected the range because she would never fill the plane up 100% uh more than once. Uh, it'd be too much stress on it. So I went to 75% and then projected with his help um, you know, whether the plane could actually do it. And the answer was yes. You're crazy, but yes, uh, it can do it. And that was the start of the flight and probably the greatest uh journey in faith uh of my life, because so many people said it wasn't gonna happen. And um, but the funny thing is, you know, people came to me, uh, spiritual people, my mentor and friends, and they said, you know what, you're gonna do this. Um, which was very different than the first circumnavigation because people were coming to me saying, I had a dream about you, you died a terrible death alone in the Pacific.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Oh my way.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Um damn, right? When you hear that, damn.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I haven't done it in a dead already, you know, I haven't done it yet.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

What I learned about that was that other people have different fears than I do, and I needed to forget about their fear and deal with mine. And I had a list of them, you know, it wasn't like I was fearless. Uh, and then I would have to identify them and then try and tackle them. So, for example, my greatest fear was that I would be forced to do a night flight um over the water, land at an airport that was non-towered with mountains around and terrible weather. So I went to Lake Tahoe and the Tahoe Chucky Airport was one of my sponsors, and I waited till nighttime when the weather was bad. There was mountains around, and Lake Tahoe was right there, and I practiced my instrument approaches at night, like late night, you know. And um eventually I got it. I was like, I'm I'm consistent, I'm you know, doing this properly. And I thought, okay, that's it. I don't have to worry about this anymore. But the universe tests. We're we're never just sort of given, you know, the the thing that we asked for. So over American Samoa or getting near the um the island, uh it was pitch black. And I remember looking out, thinking, it's really, really dark out here. And I closed my eyes and I couldn't tell the difference between my eyes being opened or closed because it was so dark. And I had this thought, well, I could be in San Diego on my sofa with my girlfriend watching Netflix, but instead I'm by myself in the middle of the Pacific, and I had a radio communication with a nearby island, and it was kind of creepy. It was a lady, it sounded like she was talking through a uh uh uh towel or a paper towel tube, and she said, um uh uh proceed at your own risk, and kind of like a weird voice right over the radio. It was uh uh HF communications, so it you get all kinds of crazy sounds. And I thought, oh wow, that's scary. You know, and I did end up uh landing there, um, but terrifying, you know, terrifying. And I would eventually say that if your dream or if you're not afraid, maybe your dream is not big enough. And you'll find that on plaque at DeLoretta International Airport on Woodby Island.

Joy Versus Happiness And Inner Work

SPEAKER_03 32:38

You've spoken about this this mission of many and the impact. And I know that you are you're at a place in your life and have been now, right? As you said, you've been on this journey for the last 20 years where it's really been about give back for you, it's been about human connection, it's been about all these relationships. So talk to me a little bit about your philosophy, because I know that you know we also spoke in that in that vein around joy and happiness. And I really love your perspective on joy. I think that is so incredible.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Yeah, you had mentioned a study at Harvard, right? They were talking about how to maximize your happiness. And uh that's when I said something that I think surprised you, which is Harvard is wrong. And um not that I don't enjoy an opportunity to um say something like that, but um I don't think most people understand the difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is I got a cool house, I got a nicer house, I got a faster car, a cooler car, better clothes. Um, and I'm happy, I'm really happy for Italian. And then all of a sudden you're like, uh, okay, like I this is a great view, but I look at it every day for five years and now I'm over it, you know, or those clothes, uh, I need some new clothes, right? So I'm not happy about the original ones. So that's that's a short-term sort of instant gratification thing. What we really want, I think, when we say that is that we want joy. And we're born with joy. So when you're a kid, let's say a little baby and you're walking around and you fall down, you laugh. And then you just get right back up again and you start walking again. But life will put these barriers in front of you, right? Somebody says, no, you know, you can't do that, you shouldn't do that, shouldn't some judgment, right? Um, and then you just believe it, and then it becomes part of your psyche. And then over time, enough people have told you no, and these things have happened that you're not joyful. And then your life becomes removing those barriers to joy. And I didn't come up with this concept. Uh, a guy named Rumi, who's a lot smarter than me, a Persian philosopher that lived a while back, um, came up with this. But I think he's right. And so then you try and remove the barriers to joy. And it's what we were talking about earlier, where we said, you know, when someone has done this inner work, then they look younger. It's like the cheapest facelift, you know, plastic surgery cream uh that you could apply. Because if you do that work, and it takes time, right? It's that's probably a year or two minimal uh or minimum. But uh, once you do that, you look younger and you have a different perspective on life. The little things aren't gonna bother you as much because you are joyful and nobody can take that away. That's in you, right? It's not like somebody took my I got my car repossessed, so now I'm not happy anymore. It's in you, right? Um, so I I always like to be clear on that, and I think most people don't understand that difference. So if you're gonna shoot for something, shoot for joy.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

Yeah. Well, and that's been sort of, I think the story of your life is uh you you went the unconventional route because that is who you are. Okay, you've chosen, you know, I remember your dad saying to you, Robert, what what are you doing? Like, why are you taking all this risk and like you know, risking your life and and all these things? Like, like why are you doing that? And the reality is what you've really done is you've lived your life the way you have chosen to live the life based on the things that have got you to this point where now you are giving back, you have the foundation. Um, I know you know you've the airport, and we haven't even spoken about that, but you're living a life of joy because it's a life you have chosen.

Mentors Silence And Walking Meditation

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Let me give credit where credit is due. I've had some amazing, amazing mentors in my life, and you know what I'm about to say, a lot of them have been women. Um, Susan Gilbert is a mentor of mine. Mary Mark Dante has been a mentor of mine. Um, I've had some really wise uh women that have guided me in my life. Um, if you look back at the kings, right, they had their oracles, oftentimes women, right? And I remember studying in Catholic school that uh women were the storehouse for moral values. And I remember when I heard that, I went, wow, I gotta hold on to that because there's some wisdom in that. So these people have guided me. It's not like I just woke up and had uh all these downloads and was perfectly clear. No, I was you know headed in the wrong direction. It's kind of like a ship setting out, setting sail. Let's say it has a destination. If you're a couple degrees off when you start, you're gonna be way off in a day or two days or a month. So you need to get on that right track. And finding that person's not always easy, right? I think sometimes the universe will put that person right in your lap. But I am so thankful for the mentors that I've had. And if you say, what's the single greatest um contributor to your success in the world, at least by my definition of success, I would say it's my mentors. And the next maybe the team. Uh and spirituality obviously plays uh a big part in that because every once in a while you get a download, right? When somebody says something, you just go, Oh, that's that's a truth. I know that. So um, yeah, and for me, walking in Balboa Park is a magical place. Uh, if you go back and look at some of the greats like Da Vinci, they did meditative walks. So when people say, Oh, what's your meditation, or how do you meditate? I don't really meditate. I like to think that my walk is a meditation, maybe a walking meditation. And there's a saying that whenever there's silence, there's meditation. So I live my life with a lot of silence. I don't usually play music, sometimes in the car, but around my house, it's just quiet. It's pin drop quiet, right? So they say that oxygen is um uh or silence is oxygen for the soul. Carolyn Mason, that again, somebody smarter uh that pointed that out to me. But uh yeah, it's important. All those things are very, very important.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

So uh, Robert, for our audience, I have one last question. Uh, is there any piece of advice uh, you know, as leaders, as those running businesses, as CEOs, uh, as leaders in corporate organizations, what's what's one, just through all this incredible journey that you've gone on, what's one piece of advice that you would like to leave them with, apart from everything else that you've said?

SPEAKER_00 39:44

I'm gonna go back to the surrender part, and that's not Stacy or Tracy showing up with a gun, you know, and telling you you better get get on your game and do this stuff. It's uh be open to a bigger purpose, that you're not here just to work, you're not here just to make money. I've said it a few times now that there's there's a bigger purpose for you. And your journey could be a short one, it could be a long one. Um, my guess is that it's gonna be challenging. And I always pray for ease and grace. And uh, I must not be very good at that because it doesn't always come easily. Some things do, and I go, oh my god, the universe threw me a bone, right? Like finally. But um, more times than not, it's a lot of hard work. And um, I think it'll be the the richest journey of your life if you don't say no to that. And if you do say no to it, in my opinion, you're gonna come back in another life and do it all over again. So you might as well get it done now. And then here's here's maybe one of the more important things is I believe that you are rewarded for your good deeds. And if I look at my life now compared to what it was, it is a million times better. And it just keeps getting better and better. And we talked about, you know, I just had a major birthday, and what I think about is my life is still improving. So it doesn't really matter what my age is, it's getting better and better, and I'm having a good time. It's not that I'm not working hard or not struggling, but it's uh turning out to be a fantastic life. And I'm uh in this space of gratitude as much as I can be, because it's all those things that got you to the point where you are today, right? All the rough times, all the ass chewings you got, um, all the times you stumbled or got jet fuel sprayed in your face if you happen to be me. But um, yeah, all those things got you to the point where you are at this second in time. So um be thankful.

SPEAKER_03 41:42

Yeah. And Robert, I really, really believe that. You know, I feel um, I actually think that we learn more uh and we become more grateful uh when we get through the tough times and the hard times. You know, I think I'd shared, you know, at the age of 20, I was a uh uh domestic violence survivor, and you know, I I I nearly died that night. I nearly died. And I know that although I would never wish that upon anyone, I personally am so grateful for that experience. Because because of that experience, I am who I am today. I choose to live every day of my life, knowing that I got given a chance to live, right? And so for me, it's all about I want to make the best out of my life because I nearly didn't get to live it. So, you know, it's exactly what you're saying. You know, you go back, and as long as you heal through those situations, and you know, you can eventually just emotionally let go of the things, right, that happened because there's always something attached to it, will carry baggage. But if you can look at it for what it is and what it's there to teach you and and what's the lesson, that to me is how we end up living our life of legacy, just as you are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Yeah, and there's no need to get lost in the moment, like let's say you say, I don't want to go risk my life in a plane over at the South Pole. That's okay. Not everybody's meant to do that. Not me.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Um, oh, I'd do that.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

That'd be great for aircraft sales. I know that.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

Yeah, I'm leaving it up to you, Robert, because I ain't going down that road.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

But it could be just that you inspire somebody, right? Like they see that you're a brave person and you've survived this, you know, challenge and you're out there sharing the message. And um, you could inspire 10 Martin Luther's. That's what we we talked about before. So don't get caught up in that. Just figure out what your contribution is meant to be in the world, and hopefully it's a joyful thing for you.

Documentary Books And How To Follow

SPEAKER_03 43:49

Yeah, I love that. Just love that. Robert, thank you for spending uh an incredible hour with us. Uh, I mean, I'm just uh so grateful. Um You're such an incredible human being. The things that you do you've done are so inspiring. Um, and just the way that you you really are having an impact on the world and others. Um, just thank you for doing that. And thank you uh for everything that you're doing and and really the life that you've lived that you're sharing with us. So the documentary, please go watch it. It's really incredible. I really encourage all of our audience to go watch it. You can find that out on Amazon. Uh, and then of course, Robert's got a bunch of books out there. Uh, we'll we'll provide you all this information. But um, you are the kind of guest that we love, love having on our podcast. Uh, we've got so much to learn from you, so thank you. If you enjoyed the show, please go to LeadershipMomentspodcast.com to subscribe to the podcast or on your favorite player, as well as follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

You can also send us a message on what you like and don't like or what guests you want us to have on the show.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

So until next time.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

This is Stacy Castor, and what does it challenge you won't change you.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

And I'm Tracy Ann Palmer. Be the change you wish to see in the world.