Medical Drama | Parents share their struggles with a poorly baby

How are we navigating reflux and Cow's Milk Allergy in our newborn? Emma and Elliot kick off series 4 with an honest catch-up of what's been happening since the last recording - sickness, teething, bad reflux, a possible CMPA diagnosis, coughing up blood, frustration with NHS doctors, going to a private paediatrician, experience of A&E, and hospital visits... We discuss how we're managing in these challenging times, and how our eldest child is coping. All with our usual dose of silliness, light-hearted chit-chat, and keeping it fun despite the difficult topic.

PLUS general updates on how life is going with a newborn and toddler since our last episode.

If you prefer to watch along on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/@dontwakethebaby_podcast

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Find parenting resources, Elliot's faith & spirituality projects and more on our website:
www.kairosmovement.org.uk/dontwakethebaby/

Unwind on sleepless nights to a wholesome mix of parenting stories, quirky humour, and cosy crafting. We’re not here to provide answers but to share our experiences, explore how parenting has changed, and build an online community of parents for mutual support.

A fun, honest and unscripted conversation between Emma and Elliot on non-judgemental parenting and millennial-based topics, as we relax on an evening attempting an artistic or creative activity. 

We are a project in partnership with The Kairos Movement and supported by The Methodist Church, of which The Kairos Movement is a part

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 2:50 Parenting Achievements
• 6:00 Reflux & CMPA
• 16:00 Doctors Experience
• 32:00 Private Paediatrician
• 42:15 Hospital and A&E
• 53:30 Ending

Transcript

So wifey darling, what are we chatting about today? Today we are chatting about uh, Lola's recent struggles and our struggles with her feeding and her health stuff. Oh, it's all going on. 

So welcome back to the Crippin Household where we're all tired and exhausted.  Here to chat again. About parenting, about what's going on in our lives with our two children, our baby who's three months old, Lola, and our eldest, Lily, who's three and a half. Approaching four. And you're here with us, the hosts, as always.

I'm Elliot. And I'm Emma.  There we go. We normally say something about ourselves, which I've not planned. Um,  uh, interesting fact. What's an interesting fact about you, Emma? Um, I'm currently the only person that Lola will drink with.  I did successfully get her to feed half a bottle with me this morning. You did!

You actually were very successful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, we'll get all into that in a minute. Uh, we did a whole episode on feeding, um, but it does tie a lot into this episode. Yeah. Because we've had  Lots of going on since, uh, since we last recorded and we're with you. So this is kind of an update episode of all the stuff that's been going on in our lives.

And if you can hear we've got our little friend with us. There's Lola in the background.  Hi Lola, say hello to everyone. All our 17 listeners out there tuning in to hear what's going on. Hopefully you enjoy hearing all about our challenges and what not. I mean, ugh.  Oh.  Do you want to sit with mummy?  Okay, come on then. 

I think she's going to be a vocal podcast host today. We have three podcast hosts today. Babies come to join us.  So much for don't wake the baby. The baby's awake before we even started.  What else do we normally say? Anything else in the intro? We haven't done this in so long. I don't know. I don't know. We don't know what's going on.

It's going to be a bit, uh, probably, um, All over the place. Yeah, I mean it's, as, it's the usual thing you get with our podcast. That's not fair. Very unprofessional. I don't know if I've ever been consistent. It's what you tune in for. It's a bit of light hearted chit chat.  Oh yes, I've not, I've not done my thing.

I normally give us a little location. Welcome back to the blanket fort. Um, I normally make up a little location every time. Where should we be today? Sat, sat cozy in bed. Yeah. Trying to hide from the world. Under the covers. Like when they go on the bear hunt. Yeah, that's it, yeah. 

Beep boop boop, parenting achievement time. Parenting achievement time. I feel like I'm very low energy today. I'm very high energy for once. Oh, you've got like, you've still got lots of adrenaline in you. So this is a little segment before we get to the main part of the show where we like to share, uh, something that's gone wrong, a parenting fail, or just a relatable moment, a funny story.

We're not experts or perfect parents. Things go wrong for us too. And we like to share in the misery together. We do. A little while back we were going to church and it was one of our first weeks going with Lola. Um,  in addition to our other little girl Lily. And I remember I got out of the car with Lily, started walking in, Elliot walked in, turned around and I was like, hey mate.

Where's the baby?  Yeah, I left the baby in the car, I know,  it was only across a car park. It was, yeah, it was a car, but it didn't make me laugh, so I turned around, I was like, wait a minute.  It's because I didn't really see you get out and go with Lily, and I was like rushing around grabbing the bags, and so I assumed you had the baby, and you assumed I had the baby, and we just, we just left the baby in the car, just left her there, abandoned, forgot about her. 

So I saw him and I was like, well, this is a surprise.  I was like, oh no. I didn't expect to see him without the baby. Go and get the baby, we've forgotten.  I was like, oh dear. Yeah, that's true. Yep, that was an early parenting fail. So when you listen in the future, Lola, we did once forget you were on the show. 

Yeah.  Uh, the other one I was going to bring up was, uh, again a little while back. It's probably not actually that long ago, but I mean, time is so strange at the moment. We're deep in the trenches of early days parenting that a day feels like a week and a week feels like a month. Um, do you remember when you were, you were pumping milk and you gave me the bottle to take down and put it in the fridge?

And I came back up to you still holding it. I was like, Emma, there's There's a  ladybug in your milk. Yeah, and I was like, I don't I don't know how it got there. I don't know how it got there. But I looked down and there was like just this little ladybug swimming around. And it annoyed me so much because it was in the earlier days where I was still like building my milk supply.

And I was like, for goodness sake, that's a whole thing of milk gone now because a ladybug decided that it would be tasty. To try and drown itself in my milk. I don't even know how it got in the house. Yeah, how it had crawled in. It must have been like when you were pumping, it must have somehow crawled in.

Or when it, or was it the one pause between like taking it off and giving it to you. Yeah, yeah, it immediately was like, Mmm, sweet milk, I'm gonna go and dive in there and drown myself. Yeah, I was just waiting for its moment. These relatable, uh, we'd love to hear from you if, uh. If you ever found a ladybird in your milk.

Or have you ever abandoned your baby? Get in touch and let us know. Or if you have any other parenting fails or stories that are funny, um, get in touch and we'll share them on future episodes. We like to Hear what's going on with you and have this as a two way conversation. You can do that on, you know, all of the places you can work it out.

There's links down below, social media, uh, website, blah, blah, blah, stuff like that. 

Plate up that, uh, that meal that your toddler's probably not gonna eat anyway and you're gonna throw it in the bin. Uh, and let's, uh, jump into our conversation today. Well, we should probably start from the beginning of the year, so  Our last podcast episode was back at Christmas, um, and it's, as of the time of recording, we're just into February, and so most of this has taken place during January of 2025.

Yep, in the last month. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to remember where we kind of left off with things before, if you've been listening along with our story previously, um, we talked about the fact that Lotha, Lotha, Lola, Lola had started teething. Yep.  And I think we'd said she's like, kind of fussy feeding. But what really developed from then was like, really bad sickness.

So like, reflux, and she would throw up after every feed. And that, that went on for quite a while and was quite dramatic.  So we can talk a bit about that. Because it took us a while really to realise something was wrong. I think Because we didn't, we didn't have this with Lily. We were like, oh, she's just a very sicky baby.

Yeah. I mean, all babies are kind of sick, aren't they? But it was more than that. Like, it's hard to explain. It was a lot of sick. After every feed, she would be throwing up what felt like most of the bottle or, you know. I'm trying to remember now. It's like, because we've been through so much. Was she as sick, like, because you were breastfeeding at the time as well, when we were mixed feeding.

We were. She was doing less from the breast, but she still threw up, like it was still 50 50. Yeah. Was there a point at which we Kind of worked out that this was not normal. I think I just got us some anti reflux formula. Which I didn't know existed. No, I remember, I think, basically, I'm on, I'm on loads of forums on Facebook.

Yeah. And somebody was saying that, like, um, they used that and it did the trick to stop kind of a lot of throw up. And she, she did better with that. Didn't throw up quite as much. Seemed to keep it down a bit better. I mean, she still threw up a lot. Yeah. And like, I remember us always discussing how if she throws up this much when she's on anti reflux formula, how much would she be throwing up? 

If we were just on normal.  So it's kind of just a bit thicker, isn't it? It is. It's heavier to try and settle. So it's harder to throw up, really.  Again, I don't think, we just assumed she was quite sicky. And I don't think we realised there was something else going on. Yeah, we didn't consider underlying problems. 

And then was it about, like, two weeks after that, then she got very fussy  with her feeds. She didn't want to drink, really. She didn't want to breastfeed. No, I didn't want to breastfeed at all. So from that point, from about mid January, we've, like, she's completely gone off breastfeeding.  No, you don't breastfeed, do you?

You just want to lick it. And your milk supply is doing fantastically. Doing fantastically. Coming in great. Which I say is annoying, but it means I can actually supply half of her feeds, which is pretty good. You can still like express and we can bottle it. Yeah. So in the, in the middle of this, um, I think this is the order what happened.

I'm sorry, it's like, we're really, we should have really noted down what happened in order. My brain is all over the place trying to remember how, what happened when. Yeah. Um, I'd think completely unrelated to the actual stuff that's going on with her reflux. Um, she threw up that, like, yellow sick. Oh, she did, yeah.

Um, which panicked us a bit, and we went into A& E. Yep. Typically, we always end up somehow in hospital at a weekend. We do, it's never midweek where you could try, I know it's a fight, but you could try and get hold of a doctor. Yeah. It's always on a weekend when you have no choice but to go to hospital.

Yeah. Um, So we went to hospital. I mean we've been to hospital quite a lot haven't we now? About three times with her now. At least, yeah with Lola but then I was thinking like early on we had that visit we went with Lily when she got a finger in her door and then we've also been with you because your C section got infected.

Yeah. At least, like, five or six times we've been in. It's true. We'll become in hospital regulars, worryingly. Yeah. Um, got to see a doctor. Didn't seem to be a problem, just Didn't seem too worried. Yeah. Just, just Again, I wouldn't have had a clue that this was a thing. It was you who said, Oh, it's a bright yellow sick.

That's, that's a dangerous thing. You have to go see a doctor. Because it can mean, like, there's something blocking a stomach, in the stomach. Right. It's not good. Um, but we saw the doctor. and they thought she was fine, they thought she'd just thrown up on an empty stomach and that's why it was kind of yellow in her stomach.

Yeah, it had been a long time, hadn't it, since she drank. And this is the kind of, the other thing that's happening, along with all the sickness, is the, the constant challenge to get her to feed. She, we thought she was just fussy and we, we chatted about in our feeding episode a little bit how  she wasn't doing as big a gaps.

Yeah, as we'd like. And like, her total over  24 hours wasn't quite as high as, as they say on like, you know, the things. But you know, we know that you kind of have to take that with a pinch of salt. Yeah, like every baby's different. Different, and it became even more challenging though, because her total started dropping further.

And she was refusing a lot of drinks. Refusing to have very much at all each feed, and she'd go like really long gaps between feeds.  Sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Um. So when they said it shouldn't go more than four hours, I was like, well, it's definitely been longer than four hours. Yeah, so that's when we began to really, like, Yeah, get worried.

So then we went to the, I think the first time I got a call from the doctor, um, and they put us on Gaviscon. Oh yes, yeah, that was it.  Yeah, I forget how many steps we've been through. Which frankly didn't do a lot. No, not a lot. And from talking to other people who've been through the same kind of journey, it doesn't do a lot.

It's just the first pot of coal. And I must say, again, once again, up front, I mean, we kind of give this caveat every time this Medical stuff comes up. We haven't had a great experience with the NHS. It's not, I don't, I don't know whether it's just us,  our location, or you know. But it's annoying because I feel like during my pregnancy this time I had a much better experience with the NHS.

And I actually was thinking a lot better of them, and then this time again it's just, it's not gone great. So there are times when we did kind of go rogue and  try and sort stuff out ourselves. Um,  and because we were just weren't getting anywhere with the NHS, it was just frustrating. So alongside that, at that point you went out of your way and got us some, those drops.

Yes. So we had discovered that maybe, we were thinking maybe she had like a lactose intolerant. Yes.  So we got these, um, drops that kind of like, it reduces the lactose in the milk if you put these little drops in it. And you bought some lacto free formula? Yep. Um, so we were, we tried that. Basically, we, we, we, it was like trial and error going through all these things.

And bizarrely, that seems like a silly way to do things. Like, why don't we just get her tested and like, but this is exactly the same method that the NHS was doing with this. Yeah, it is, yeah. You know, they were like, oh, try Gaviscon first and if that doesn't work, we'll prescribe something else and then we'll try that.

And then eventually down the line, we'll see if she has a cow milk allergy.  Thing and we were like, okay, so at that point we were like, well, why don't we just jump ahead? Yeah, at this point we didn't quite understand that lactose and cow's milk allergy were different allergies. There's various points during the story where looking back I feel quite naive about ourselves But again, we'd not been through this hadn't we?

So we had no clue like in our heads We hadn't quite twigged that like a cow milk allergy and a lactose Allergy would be like completely different things. The drops seemed to help though at the time. They did, yeah! I still think the drops helped, but maybe that was still just making it easier for her to digest.

First mistake of many, uh, the NHS failed to tell us that we weren't supposed to put the Gaviscon in the anti reflux formula. Yeah, yeah, true. Um,  and they even knew we were an anti reflux formula because the woman on the phone said, oh keep up with the anti reflux formula if it's helping. Yeah. And didn't go, oh you shouldn't put Gaviscon in it.

Although we've kind of found out that ourselves because I read the label on the back of the Gaviscon.  Yes, I know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's so frustrating looking back because we, we were in contact with like the doctors at that point, I think you rang up our community midwife? No, no, the health visitors. Oh, sorry, health visitors.

Um, and they basically were like, oh, there's nothing we can do. Yeah. Um. And it's just like,  we're kind of making them aware that we've got an issue, but it kind of took until way further down the line before anyone would, would actually help us and do anything. Um, Because the health bit was like, Oh, have you tried feeding in a different way?

And I was like, Yes, we've tried. Basically, I was like, We've tried all the practical things. And they were like, Oh, well, then it must be a medical thing, in which case we can't do anything. And it's worth saying, like, the reason a lot of the time they weren't taking us seriously is because Lola's a very big baby.

She's got a lot of weight on her. She wasn't losing weight. And so even though we were saying, like, she's not feeding, it's taking us over an hour to get her to drink a bottle, over 24 hours she's drinking less and less every day. It's about half as much as she should be drinking. Because she still had wet nappies and still was Well, I say she was gaining weight.

No one weighed her! No, so nobody knows. So At our six week appointment, she wasn't weighed. Um, which it turned out later the point that doctor had made up a weight and put it in the system, which was a weight that would have been dangerously low for her to have been considering what weight she was born at.

Oh dear, you can't make it up, can you? Yeah, so that, that was clearly like, just a bad practice. And this one was a phone conversation, so you didn't even get to see a doctor. So they couldn't even look at Lola and make any sort of judgments about how well she was doing. The Gaviscon wasn't really making much  impact, so we went back.

We went back to the GP. The GP. Um, got an appointment, thankfully. Um, and we saw this lady doctor, and she was actually really nice. In hindsight, I don't think she knew that much, actually. But she was very friendly and, um, This is the difficulty, isn't it? I mean, GPs, they're not specialist, you know, pediatricians.

Yeah, but it's frustrating though then that they're giving you, they're the ones doing prescriptions and they're the ones telling you what to do next, but they know very little about babies. Yeah, so, um, She saw that Lola was like, clearly didn't want to drink anything, was in a bad way, um, and she was like, it's either reflux or cow's milk protein allergy.

And at this point we don't know which it is. So I think this was the first time we'd heard or considered cow's milk protein allergy.  Um, we had no idea what that was,  um, so basically she just can't, she's intolerant to cow's milk, which is in most formulas, and obviously in your breast milk as well. Once again though, they knew, like, we were expressing milk, but she didn't, like, tell me to not eat.

Or drink milk. Um. Did she not? No. Because at that point she was at all, like Oh, because they wanted to treat the reflux Yeah. But she said, at the time, she said, To have this, um,  Omni  Oh, we can never pronounce it right. We call it Omnipresle, but that's not how you say it. Omepresole. Omepresole, yeah. Aw, I'm so sorry.

She said, try a hermaphrodite  for like the next four days, um, and then if nothing improves,  we'll put you on a cow's milk, um, protein allergy formula. Yeah, a special formula that's like, just,  and it's got no, no allergens in at all. I mean, I'm not quite sure what it's got in it. It smells horrible. It does smell horrible, yeah.

There's so many possibilities of what we thought could be happening. It's very difficult, you know, and They didn't really want to diagnose anything, just kind of treat possible symptoms. So we were also wondering about whether it was kind of a bottle aversion. Yeah, bottle aversion. So we started looking into this as well because it, it wasn't that she wouldn't drink, it's just that she wouldn't, she'd scream if the bottle was anywhere near her mouth.

Yeah. Um, I mean I was still wondering whether it was just teething related because she's like been teething really badly and she's quite young to be teething, but. I mean, it's quite similar to our eldest, Lily, who was teething about this age as well.  So, like, she really doesn't like the bottle being in her mouth because it causes her a lot of pain and then she tries to drink and she doesn't like that and she just screams and won't drink anything, so  It's trying to navigate which of these factors are having an impact.

And at this point, she was drinking so little that we'd begun to, like Force feed her in a way that like we needed, we needed her to consume milk, to live, like kind of feeding is essential. So like when people do cup feeding, like sometimes you just have to pour it down her throat. Yeah. Just to get her to drink some.

Yeah. Um, and we were wondering if that had then caused like a, caused her to not like drinking. 'cause it's bad association. So we had all these things running in parallel. Yeah. Which wasn't particularly helpful, but No.  And then I think it was about a week, uh, because I left it a bit longer than the doctor said, I think it was about five days.

Um, but at that point I'd already ordered some cow's milk protein formula because Yeah, we took things into our own hands and I found out from one of my friends what they prescribe, and I was like, right, I'm just gonna order one of them so that we've already started on this.  Beforehand because the doctor basically told me well in four days, we're gonna give you that.

We're gonna put you on it Anyway, I can I understand it from their perspective a week doesn't sound like a long time to like try a yeah, you know  A medication before moving on to the next stage, but for us, every day felt like a week because like, it's just so difficult. It was like a fight every day to get her to feed, it was miserable.

Every feed, like, and you'd get one feed done, then you'd just be like, worrying about the next feed, like, will she drink? And you can't really go out anywhere during this time, like, we've barely been anywhere in January because you just can't guarantee she's gonna feed. No. And it's been really hard on Lily because we've been spending so much time trying to deal with Lola and her medical things and trying to get her to drink.

Um, we often need to like tag team it to try and do it and like, you're a lot more patient than me so like, you'll often sit there for an hour or two trying to get her to drink whereas I get frustrated a lot, a lot quicker. Um, but it's, it's just been difficult all around and I don't think Some of the medical professionals understood, you know, some of that challenge that Well, how debilitating it is when you're like, No, I won't be able to do anything today but feed my child.

Yeah. Which, it should come naturally. Yeah. Like, they should want to drink. And, like, often they would say to us, like, Well, you know, it's, it's, it's natural in the sense, like, She won't starve herself to death. She will drink. And I was like, No, you don't understand. She will. If we weren't forcing her to drink.

She's not drinking. Because we gave her two days but we tried not to force it and she was down. Yeah, she's not losing weight. It's true. She doesn't need to be admitted to hospital. But the reason she's not losing weight is because we're putting in so much effort. Yeah. To get her to feed. Yeah, I was basically like, it's, it's a credit to us that she's not lost weight, because we've had to fight so much just to get it.

But instead they just look at her and say, oh she's a big baby, she's not losing weight, there's not a problem.  And it's like, ugh. But it was when we saw this lady doctor, she turned up, she was like, oh well that can't be the right weight, because that would be a dangerous weight. That the other doctor made up.

And you said to her, she  didn't weigh her. Well I said she was never weighed by that doctor. Like it was literally an in and out appointment. And she was like, oh, right, okay. So a week later, when we were due to, um, get the cow milk allergy formula. Um, I had to call them up to be like, oh, nothing's changed.

Yeah, yeah. Um, we need to be prescribed cow's milk protein, um, formula. And, um,  Doctor on the phone was like, okay, great, but before we prescribe her, you need to come in and just get her weighed to check like she hasn't lost a lot of weight because if this is the wrong treatment method, it's quite dangerous.

Um, so, yes, I know, yeah. And like, it's frustrating but it's good in a way you know we're happy that someone's actually wanting to take a look at her and actually weigh her. Anyway this one I got really annoyed so then I went into the doctors and it was the doctor who'd seen me before he hadn't weighed her the last time.

Yeah so not your nice lady doctor. Not my nice lady doctor. Call him, well, I'm not going to say what we're calling him.  My family have got a new name for him. Can't be said on our family friendly podcast.  But let's just say he's an A and a H.  I saw this doctor, and as soon as I went in, he just kind of like, The other doctor said why don't you help me with my pram.

This doctor just looked generally annoyed that I had a big pram to take into the office with me. Um, which is already not a good first impression. And he was like, what seems to matter. So I was telling him my story. Yeah. Um, but I also felt like he just had read my notes because he seemed like utterly perplexed by the whole thing.

Yeah. I mean, that's a common thing, isn't it? It is. And I know they have to ask you just in case.  notes have missed anything, which is fine. And then anyway, so he kind of was like, right, so he was already kind of going, well, let's just prescribe the thing. Yeah. And I was going, yeah, we would like to prescribe it, but we do have to weigh her.

And he basically went, I'm not going to weigh her. She was weighed a week ago. And I was like, well,  You have to weigh her. That's why I'm here. Like that's that's why I was called up Yeah, not to tell you how to do your job But you literally have to weigh her and this is why i've come in like otherwise you could have prescribed it without seeing me Yeah, then he was like, okay, we know from the previous doctor that When they see them they, it's part of the process they have to weigh them.

That's why he made up a weight to put on the system because he has to put a weight in. So it's the same guy who made up the previous weight so I think he's just an all round poor doctor. Yeah. Um, and I get, I get the point of being like it can be inaccurate sometimes, you know, if you weigh them too close together.

But I was like, we, the whole point with here is because we've been told to come in to get a weight. The whole point is we're trying to check that she's not losing weight. Yeah. And no, no one wants to weigh her. How on earth are we meant to know if she's putting on weight? So anyway. He, he was running around trying to find some scales that I pointed out were behind him, and I think that annoyed him more because I'd been like, they're right behind you, the scales we need to use.

He's like, well I'm gonna have to go find some scales. And I was like, they're right behind you. So he got those scales out. I really wish I was there to see some of this, because I know it was really frustrating for you, but like, it's hilarious as well. He got the scales out, and he basically, I'm not kidding, he put her on for a second, took her off, and was like, yeah, she's put on weight.

And I was like, the scale hasn't even balanced. It's going between three numbers.  So I didn't say anything. I was just like, great, that was thorough. Um, and then I was like, oh, before we leave, could you look in her mouth? Because we don't know if it's teasing related, what it could be. And he was like, no, I'm not looking in her mouth.

But this is when it annoyed me, because he just refused completely. And I was like  What do you mean? What do you mean? No, yeah, you're just you're just not gonna do that Like we have a concern and we're trying to cover all our bases I was also trying to be like we know my child's refusing to eat surely Looking in the mouth It's part of that process to work out if something's wrong.

Yeah. But according to him, not what he was gonna do. And it was only about a day later or so, we, we were chatting with, uh, some of you guys out there, our podcast community and our Facebook group chat where we, we communicate and, um, a couple of you mentioned to us, like, oh, do you think it could be a tongue tie thing?

Could that be a cause of it? And we know she's checked as a baby baby when she's born, but, um, And that, that frustrated us even more because we were like, oh okay, like, we've not considered this. But the fact the doctor had refused to look in her mouth. Yeah. And like, I don't know, maybe he wouldn't be qualified to actually be able to diagnose that and that's fine.

But even like, he could have checked, did she have thrush on her tongue? Could that be putting her off? Like, there's a lot of things that could be wrong with her. Oh, it's okay, it's okay.  So I was basically annoyed that I felt like he was just like, and it's more that he looked disgusted by the idea. I was like, you're a doctor, you know, part of your job is to look in people's mouths. 

Yeah. So I was pretty annoyed and then it only got worse because I went to the pharmacy and the pharmacy said, We can't get the, uh, formula you've been prescribed. We no longer have a supplier for it. Yeah. Um, and I We should also mention that the, um, Oh, how on earth do you say it? It's not omnipresle. How the, um,  the, um, the, the reflux, um, medication.

Omeprazole. Omeprazole, that's it. I'm never going to remember how to say it. Oh yes, that wasn't in either. We had struggled getting hold of that as well when it was prescribed. Um, it's, we've been prescribed like a crazy rare version as well because she's little. We've been given it in liquid form which apparently is Very expensive.

Unusual to prescribe because it costs the NHS a fortune. Um, but, uh, yeah, that was hard to get hold of as well. Which, again, is kind of annoying. Like, you get prescribed these things and then you have to, like Chase up to find where they do them. Chase around and go around multiple pharmacies just trying to find someone that can actually give it to you.

Yeah. It's like, what on earth? Like, our, our system's kind of broken, isn't it? It is, and like They actually, I don't blame the doctors, because they don't know what the pharmacy has. I just feel like there's no connect between the two. Yeah. When they send you to that pharmacy to go, Oh, maybe there's a way we could check beforehand.

Yeah.  Um, especially because the pharmacy was basically like, We've not had that formula in for months. Yeah. We can't get hold of it. The pharmacy also refused or claimed that they couldn't order it in. They said they couldn't order it in because they don't have the supplier. So just Which was crazy to me because I'd been able to order it online a week ago.

Yeah, yeah. So I wanted to be like, but I have a supplier. Like, um, anyway, I found out I could put my prescription online and get it ordered. Yeah, I'd never heard of this before, and maybe I'm just very naive. Like, these online pharmacy things where you can actually just get it delivered with your prescription.

So that worked very well. So you just put in her name and, like, date of birth. You don't even need your NHS number, they'll find you on the system and do it. So it's very, very useful. Why have we never done this before? This seems like a much better Much easier. I'm sure loads of people who've got health things know, who normally don't have that many problems.

Yeah.  So anyway, that's  So that was that. Um, we should say you did actually put in a formal complaint about the doctor because it was such a bad experience. I mean, you, you came home crying from the doctors. I did. I was so I think it was the act that he just blatantly refused. Like, instead of going, oh, I don't think I'm a good idiot, he was just like, no.

And we were like, you know, we were really struggling day by day, we had good days and bad days, and like, sometimes things were going well with her feeding, and you'd think, like, a visit to the doctor, normally that's like a reassuring thing, Um, but this one was just Yeah, or even like, I just felt he was so incompetent, like, he didn't even know she was meant to be weighed, I was like, I haven't chosen to have this appointment.

And like, just the, the knowledge, you know, because you were asking questions about like,  how much should she be drinking, when, at what point At what point should we worry, and he just didn't answer. Should we like, take her to the hospital, because she's not drunk enough, like these are kind of key things we kind of need to know, when should we intervene.

And once again, was not told anything about my diet. Luckily, I've had enough sense at this point, because they and they knew, they kept saying, you Brett, you also I kept telling them, and we're also giving breast milk,  which is 50 percent of what she drinks. At this point, they still once again did not tell me, do not eat or drink any milk.

But I, luckily, had already started doing this because, you know, I've looked into what you have to do.  Yeah. And we have support from elsewhere, so, like I really feel for people that don't have, you know, the support systems and other people to draw on because, you know, our medical systems are so poor at giving advice, like, we should shout out to, to, um, your nephew, Joe, who's been through some of this journey.

Um, with their little one, and so were able to give us some advice about what they'd done. And so, that was kind of really useful, actually. I know Jo listens along, so thanks a lot. And like,  especially, you know, things like to exclude soya from your diet, as well as milk. Was really useful because no one told us that.

No, no one told us that. Well, no one even told us not to have milk! That's just  You really couldn't make some of it up, could you? I don't know, I look too knowledgeable. Maybe they assume I don't need to know basic information, but I felt like that was a huge oversight. Yeah. That nobody thought to go, oh, by the way, you won't be able to eat, like, any cow milk products or anything.

Yeah. Um, or soy, just any, just, yeah. Yeah. Completely. Anyway, I was, I don't think, I think, I was gonna say, like, when you asked the doctor those questions about stuff, he just kind of was like, Oh, it's not a problem, like, you know, he should be drinking that much, but  he couldn't give you a No, he just kept telling me she should be drinking 900 milliliters a day.

At least. At least. And I was like, well, we can't get to that. And then I was like, well, what point should we be worried? And he didn't even answer that question. Yeah. And I was like, so you're not gonna answer me about when I should be worried about her feeding? And I was frustrated because the implication was just like, oh it's fine, like it's perfectly normal.

No, no, he told me, he was like, oh it's just a natural stage to go through. And I wanted to be like, for a month? Yeah, like maybe with teething, like you have a few days when they Don't drink as much and then they pick back up. I know it can, like, it can be variable. Babies don't drink the same amount every day.

But yeah, it'd been a long time. And I got more annoyed because I felt like if I'd been a man and gone in, he would have taken it much more seriously. I felt so bad afterwards. I said, I  really should have come in with you. But you shouldn't have to. That's the thing. That's what was really annoying. I know.

I know.  But isn't that so frustrating that you felt like he was treating you differently because you're a woman, like, it's just, ugh. In today's day and age.  I know. But that's why I think the woman doctor was a lot better. I'm sorry, it's a bit of a moany episode, isn't it? It is, yeah. But we're kind of going through the journey that we've been through, keep getting you up to speed.

So anyway, I've written a letter of complaint about him that they're meant to get back to me in two weeks about, so we'll see. Oh yeah, yeah, it'll be interesting to see what happens with that.  They did ask, like, as part of the thing, do you want to see that person again and discuss it, and I was like, no, I don't want to ever talk to that person again in my life, thank you. 

Oh dear.  Um, so what, what happened then? We're, we're getting closer, closer to the present, aren't we? Well that day I'd lost my temper. I was like, they're not doing anything, the training was like, we're idiots. Let's try and get a private doctor. Yeah, so this was actually, where are we now? This was a week ago.

Yeah. Um, I can't believe that's a week ago. Goodness me. It feels like a month ago. Oh, so I called up Well, I literally looked online there was nowhere in our local vicinity that did paediatricians. So nowhere would take babies So we ended up finding a private hospital leeds Um, Spire Hospital, shout out.

It was very good, very good experience. Very good experience. So, which is depressing, because you shouldn't have to pay kind of to feel heard and to feel like they've actually taken out some support. We're very fortunate that we can afford to go private. But like, when you're not getting the medical care you need in the NHS, we're just You kind of, you've got no other choice and for our peace of mind we, we would pay any money.

Yeah, I literally said I'd pay everything just to know she was okay and that she was gonna start eating better again, like.  Also what annoyed me is the doctor kept telling me, oh we'll prescribe it for two weeks and then after that we're just gonna reintroduce. cow's milk after two weeks. And it's frustrating because a lot of what they told us isn't wrong, in the sense that like,  I can see how a doctor who doesn't quite understand or doesn't know how to communicate has come to tell us the things they came to tell us.

Yeah. But once we spoke to the specialist, It was so much more nuanced. Yeah. I understood the journey so much better. Especially like So we're treating two different things, aren't we? We've got the reflux and we've got the cow milk allergy and we're trying to, we're trying to work out, diagnose which is which.

And so at some point we will have to reintroduce some cow's milk. Yes. To ascertain if she then, you know, responds to that. We'll know which, which is the issue. And I can see that that makes a load of sense. But the way this paediatrician talked to us about it, it was like, well, within the first couple of days, you introduce a small amount gradually and you'll immediately see But also, he was saying that you need to be on this formula for two months at least.

Yeah. To like, properly see if that's And let it settle. Yeah. And just Because  with two weeks It could be that the milk wasn't out of my system yet. Yeah. It could be that, like, the whole formula it's just hasn't taken to it yet. I mean, that was never explained to us, was it, by the doctors. The fact that the things we'd been prescribed, the medication and the formula, that they take a week, two weeks more to actually have a, uh, impact or for us to notice.

Which I don't think they knew. No, like the way we were kind of told it, it was more like, well once they're on it, that will make things better. Yeah, and so anyway, then we went and saw the private. So yeah, we booked a private appointment for a paediatrician. So the man, he basically, once he waited without being asked, which you know, miraculous,  to, he um, Went through what she was on prescription wise, and it's, it's way too low a dose for her size.

So the medication for the reflux, the, the thing I call Omnipresol, but I Yeah,  Omnipresol. That's it.  I really struggled at the hospital the other day when they were asking me what she was on. I was like,  it's this thing, I don't know how to pronounce it. Anyway, um, yeah, so the dose they prescribed was way off.

He said it's what he would give a two week old baby, not a big three month old baby. Yeah. So even if you like That of course we weren't noticing any difference with that because it's the wrong dosage Um, and he was kind of amazed that she hadn't been weighed till we've kind of Pushed for her to be weighed.

Yeah, and it was hilarious because you've, you've written in the red book some, some weights that we tried to do at home ourselves. And he was like, what are these weights? And we were like, well, no one was weighing her. So we tried to do it ourselves. And he found it hilarious that we'd gone rogue and like, basically been doing the stuff ourselves to like, To try and combat the problem.

Yeah.  But no, he was really nice. Yeah. So he informed us the medication was wrong, he informed us that it'd be ridiculous to put her on formula for two weeks and take her off because it'd take way longer than that,  you know, A, for it to show that it worked, but B, for her to get used to it. So that was useful to know that like, Basically that, what the GP wanted to do with us wouldn't have worked.

Yeah. Um. He reassured us, um, by checking in her mouth that she's not got tongue tie or anything like that. Um, that there's no other underlying cause. Cause, yeah. Which is very reassuring. Cause we, you just want, we wanted someone to have a look at her, you know. Yeah. Look her over and just. We just wanted a professional.

Yeah. You want a professional to look over and go. No, there's no other reason that she's, you know, like this. And also his medical opinion, his expert opinion, that for him he didn't think teething was really playing a big role in it. It might be in a short term capacity, but the length of time that she'd been off her milk is clearly not to do with teething.

And he's very good, like, you could tell from the noises she made and stuff that It sounded like a reflux thing. This was another area where I suddenly felt very naïve because we'd kind of assumed, oh, because the sickness has abated, because she's not throwing up after every feed, we'd completely switched tacks and we're like, oh, well it can't be reflux anymore.

It must be the cow milk allergy. So we'd been focusing all our efforts on cow milk allergy.  Like, I think, after speaking to him, we realised, Oh, there's a lot of, like, signs of reflux that are not as obvious. Yeah, like, even the noises she makes and stuff, are like, what are reflux And those things could still be the main cause.

Yeah, yeah. She might not have cow milk allergy at all. It might be purely a really bad reflux.  And he pointed out that she's quite developed for her age, so it's harder, like, so she can kind of remember unpleasant experiences more, so she knows it hurts when she drinks, like, and because she's more developed than a lot of three months old.

She can kind of bat away stuff that other children won't be able to. She doesn't want a drink, she has. The awareness to be able to, you can't, you can't trick her, you can't, you know, she won't lie passively and let you feed her without her realising, like, you know, um.  But look, he was very good. I mean, this is it, isn't it?

Like, really, what was so great about it, and we paid so much money, was for someone just to sit and like, take us seriously, listen to us. And actually, like, respect our opinion as well. There's a lot of times, you know, he looked at us to know what was her normal behaviour. Yeah, what was normal, yeah. And he was saying, like, well, she needs to wait in two weeks time to check it's working.

Yeah. Um, which I think he's trying to make the local GP do, but we'll see. I really, I, again, I really wish I could be a fly on the wall. So he's sent, like, some sort of letter to our GP to confirm, like, he's amended our Prescription, to the correct dose,  and like these other things that he's recommending.

And it's like, yeah, that must be a bit awkward for a GP to be like Well, I've got a version of the letter that I got yesterday in my,  um, thing, but it's funny because he's also saying that they need to prescribe me, um, I think it's calcium and iron because I'm no longer drinking milk. Oh, because you're like, no longer consuming So he was like, uh, she needs to be prescribed that, which I didn't even think of that, yeah.

No, um, and then he's been putting like, he's basically got an action plan of this is what needs to happen when, so for the next two months she needs to be weighed at least once every three weeks. Yeah. To make sure she's putting on weight. Of course. Um, you know, duh, but you know, for some reason a specialist has to tell them that.

Um, and then he was saying, um, At this point, like, then they need to reintroduce it, and how the plan to reintroduce it is that we keep giving her the breast milk, we just change out the formula for the,  um, one that's, like, got dairy in, well, breast milk in.  tell us that like you should be not having soya as well as milk in your diet.

Um, so yeah, the way he, he kind of explained it is like there's no,  you know, quick fix, there's no solution particularly, but there are some tweaks to what we're currently doing that should help, you know, us work out. What's going on? And he was able to, based on her weight, give us a kind of a more firm idea that like, she needs to be drinking about 500 and if she's dropping below that, more than, you know, a couple of days consecutively, then, then, but  the problem for us is that there isn't, there's no  If she does, there's nothing that can be done, you know, we take her into hospital and the solution is they'll tube feed her.

Yeah, like there is no other backup. No.  So it's kind of stressful every day to be like, are we gonna make that threshold? Yeah,  I was pleased last night because she drank well overnight.  This is a problem because I'm like the primary feeder now. Well, yeah, she's gone off me entirely for for a long time It we split everything equally I could do half the night.

It was fine for a little while. She drank better with me Yes, I would walk around and and do that. But  the last week probably I don't even think it's more than that probably just a week. She's completely gone off me being able to feed her at all Yeah. Um, so it's just, mummy, occasionally I can I get a feed in.

Mm-hmm. I really have to put a lot of effort in after you've gotta work hard. make a lot of funny noises. I have to walk around, it's killing my back. Yeah. Um, for like, 'cause it takes normally about an hour to get to drink a bottle. Yeah. And like, you know, just.  Work life balance is really hard, just everything else trying to manage is, is really difficult, but it feels like we're making progress. 

We say this, on the weekend we were in A& E. Yeah, so  then we move on to our most recent medical drama. Yeah, basically I, I gave her, her omeprazole. Yeah. Um, omeprazole? Omeprazole.  Yeah, I'm saying it your way now.  It was the first time we'd given her the higher dose. Um, and she threw up, like, blood immediately afterwards.

So basically she choked on it. Yeah. And threw up blood. I mean she never takes medicine well at the best of times. She always kind of gags it down in a horrible way. But I was like Oh my god, I've killed her. Like, she's gonna die. She's spitting up blood. Yeah. So we took you to A& E. Very worrying, isn't it, when they blow up?

And I was just like, oh no. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't want to go to A& E again. I was like, we have to. We have to go. And to watch this for like, sixth time back at hospital. It's a weekend again. Weekend again. So like, you get And it was annoying because we did a nice morning. We've been to Mercy Church.

She drank really well. She drank really well. She drank with me. She drank with you. Had a whole bottle. It's been a really positive day so far. And then that happened and I was like, oh god, we're gonna have to go back to A& E. Yeah. And we were there for hours this time. Normally they like, prioritise babies, this time they didn't.

There was a kid thrown up in the kids room, so I was like, well I'm not gonna sit in the kids room with her. Yeah. If you've not been to A& E before, then you get, you get, you get seen by like a person who will assess you initially, won't they, before you then have to wait again to see whatever the follow up is.

Uh, in this case it's waiting for a doctor, which, as you can imagine, doctors are in short supply. Yeah. So you went into A& E about one o'clock. One o'clock, yeah. On Saturday. And I got seen at two o'clock initially. Right. Um, and they looked at her and they were like, okay, her vitals are fine. Um, but, yeah, if she's throwing up blood, that's really dangerous.

It is worrying, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, it's good that, you know, there's no other Yeah, no other symptoms. major,  obvious problem, but But then they were a bit worried because they did her, like, blood sugar, and she didn't wake up. And it's obviously a sharp prick, so she should have woken up. Um, but she was just very sleepy, so Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, now, I mean, I think I think it was just the atmosphere that kind of Yeah, dildoing to us.

Or whether it was just a shock with this throwing up, but like, she slept all afternoon, which She did, it was unusual. When you worried about her Yeah, you worried about her being unconscious or something. You were in a real state, really, because, you know, she'd thrown up blood and then was just unconscious the rest of the afternoon.

It's kind of A bit worrying and you guys, you go, it's a nice time at home. We, I mean, we had a lovely little time making soup. Me and Lily. I mean this is the problem when you've got an older one, isn't it? It is. You've then you've gotta split things like it's so difficult. But yeah, me and Lily had a nice time.

I tried to put a lot of effort into giving her a lot of time. She's wanted to make soup f ages, so people don't know. She's really into the clangers. Yeah. We don't really know why. No.  She calls them elephants. She calls them elephants. I think they look like mice. When did the, the clangers are like really old aren't they?

They are. When did they come out? They were before our time. Yeah. the 80s. I mean the one she watches is like some sort of re modern done thing isn't it? But I never saw them when I was growing up. No, I don't think I saw the clangers. But anyway, she's a big fan of the clangers. Yeah. And in the Klangers, there's a dragon that makes soup called the Soup Dragon.

And I think there's a baby Soup Dragon too. Right. Um, so for ages she's wanted to make soup. Yeah. So long story short, they made soup. We made some soup, along with various other things we did that afternoon. And then she was so excited because you guys ended up coming, because I was like, guys, I need more formula.

Like, and I need a breast pump. Yeah, I mean, we were, again, naively, we hoped that we'd be coming to pick you up to come home. Yeah. But, uh, that didn't happen. Well, we came in to join you at six o'clock. Yeah. Um, so you'd been there from one, so you'd been there five hours. We finally saw a doctor. Yeah, she was good, checked her over.

But of course, she's not a paediatrician, she's just a doctor. So she was, she once again was like, Oh, she looks fine herself, which is what the first person said. Yeah, yeah. She's got no reason there would be blood in her six. So then she was like, Okay, I'm just gonna check with the paediatricians before we discharge you.

I thought the pediatrician was, the pediatrician was like, that's still a lot of blood for like, because there's about, there's about two, two teaspoons of blood. So it's not a lot, but it's a lot for a baby. They wanted to do some checks and blood tests, but yeah, you and Lily went home at that point because it was like seven o'clock.

It's Lily's bedtime. Lily needs to go to bed. I'm exhausted. Yeah, you've been there a long time. Yeah. It's horrible waiting in hospitals. It's like, so stuffy, you get a headache. I think the lights just make you have bad hairs. The lights are horrible, aren't they? She was very excited to show you her soup.

Very excited. She was very proud, ran over, showed me the soup. I said how beautiful it was, and she was saying it's very delicious. And I was like, I'm sure it will be. She did eat it very well, actually. It's surprising. You know, the typical Like, toddler thing, isn't it? You put all this effort in, they help you make it, and then they don't eat it at all.

But no, she did eat it, which was good, because it's full of vegetables. I mean, it must be the healthiest thing she's eaten in, like, months. Oh, yeah. Well, but I say this, actually, she's been doing really well eating. She's been doing better. Even though Lola's been horrendous recently, Lily started eating apples and pears.

True, true. She's doing really well. True. And she likes mushrooms at the minute, so we're doing well with the old one. Yeah. Um. Gold star to you, Lily.  Like, goodness me, can you imagine if She'd been in like a tantrum y phase as well at the moment. This would have been a nightmare. Um, she's, no, she's been really good.

Almost as soon as you left, we got moved up to the, like, the children's ward upstairs. Woodlands. Um. Can I just say, it's a beautiful looking ward. I was really impressed with how  family friendly it was. Very nice. Little woodland creatures all over the walls. Yeah. Yeah. I was very impressed. Elliot, message me.

Being like, oh, I'm, uh, we're in our own private room. We're just waiting now. We're just waiting, but Lola won't drink. Well, yeah, she, she was due another feed because that's why we'd come in to bring you, like, more milk. So I had a bottle of milk with me. And I'd been sat, this is glamorous, I'd been sat pumping milk in A& E, so I got up to give her.

Poor thing. She's not been drinking with me, but she's gonna have to. So I, like, started early, like, it was a bit before, but I kept trying for 10, 15 minutes. The big problem was She was screaming with me because she was hungry. Yeah. But then she'd scream and wouldn't have her bottle either. Yeah. And I was like, and I spent like a couple of hours doing this and I was like, this is really like struggling.

I was like, we could be here all night and she might not drink at all. Like what?  What are we going to do? So I was messaging you like, I'm so sorry, I know I've like, come in to try and relieve you, but But you're going to have to come in. Like, I think we're going to have to find a way to get you in, because otherwise Lola's just not going to drink.

Yeah. Um, by this time it was about nine o'clock, so I've been there, what is that, another three hours?  Like, I've just been sat in this one room waiting for a paediatrician, so. Yeah. Like, at that point I was like, I don't know whether they're going to arrive in ten minutes, or if it's going to be like, another three hours, if we're going to be midnight.

Yeah.  But, like, we've got this logistical problem now, because Lily's asleep. How  do we swap? Um, so I, firstly, I looked I mean, we should say we live very close to the hospital, so We do, yeah. It's easy to get to. We can walk to and from it, which is such a blessing, particularly at the moment. Yeah. I checked, because, um, the neighbours we know well, and it didn't look like they were in, their car was gone, so I was like, oh great, because I thought I'll knock on their door and say, could you sit with her while we swap over?

Yeah. Um, so in the end I messaged good ol Vicky, she's been on an episode before. Yeah, shoutout to Vicky and Mark. Shoutout to Vicky and Mark, heroes again. Lifesavers. Please let him come round. Just, just send anyone.  Like, we'd be happy if a complete stranger sat at our house. Well, I don't think we'd be comfortable with a complete stranger.

But no. You know what I mean. Mark was very nice and he came round. And it was of course typical, as soon as I got to the hospital. Yeah, doctor arrived. Doctor arrived. Yep.  Elliot was laughing though, he was amazed I found the room. If, if people don't know, Emma, I'd say she's terrible with directions, as with most of your family.

Um, I don't think people quite understand what that means, like, I gave her, I, as she was coming, I thought, goodness me, I can't leave here, so I'm gonna have to try and explain to Emma how to get here. You would think maybe you could follow the signs. on the things, but I knew, I knew that wasn't gonna happen.

I was going, in my defence, hospitals are very confusing. So I didn't, I just I already made myself laugh because I was on the phone to my sister Kirsty and I automatically walked into the maternity entrance because, you know, that's the place I've always been before in the hospital. Just like, uh, what's it, muscle memory?

Yeah, um, and I was like, oh goodness, I hope it's near maternity and it turns out it was. Well, not really, but I'd sent you step by step instructions, and I'd done it by saying go to maternity first, and then get the lift. So I was like, great, I'm at maternity already, and I remember the phone going to go and say, I'm going to turn you off now, because I really have to concentrate. 

What? What happened?  I'd sent in my message, go up in the lift to the first floor, go out and turn right. Yeah, so I, I went to the first floor and turned left for some reason. I think, I don't know if I was in a panic or what. Turned left, I walked all the way down there till I came across some more stairs. I was like, I was like, well it can't, it can't.

The problem was I'd said turn right, then I'd said go right to the end of the corridor and it's there. Yeah. And so bec You turned the wrong way, but then you'd followed my next instruction was to just to keep going.  And I found some stairs and I was like, that can't be right. That, you know, I can't possibly be going down or upstairs.

So I turned back around, went back to the lift. I thought you must've done the wrong floor. It must be the third floor. So I clicked on the button, got to the third floor, started walking down. And then I could hear like, you know, when people are in surgery, like saws and tools. And I was like. That doesn't sound right.

I don't think it'd be near surgery. Um, so I thought, I'll go back to the lift. And then when I stood in the lift, I saw the label for the ward on the, and I was like, oh, I just walked the wrong way. I'd even explained like, it's, it's literally right next door to where you gave birth. Yeah, I know, that confused me more for some reason. 

So then I got out of the lift and I was like, right, I walk that way. Yeah, yeah. And then I got there. I must say, when you walked in through the door and the doctor was moving, I looked so surprised because I was like, you actually found me! I think you even said, you were like, you got here!  Oh, I think the doctor would be like, oh, maybe she had a long way to walk.

No, he means I physically found the room they were in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. I mean, uh, I, you gave me a phone call, didn't you? And my phone was ringing. As, you know, the doctor was asking me loads of questions, I had to, like, um, turn you off, but I was thinking at the time, I was like, I bet that's Emma rigging to say she's lost in the hospital.

Yeah, it was. I was like, I don't know. It literally was. I don't know what's happened. I've, I've somehow got lost. Anyway, long story short, we, it was, it was all fine. They couldn't find a reason particularly. I think they just think it was the omeprazole that just particularly irritated her. Yeah, I mean, the best reasoning was.

The doctor said, because she's had a lot of  reflux, and like, through most of January, she's been violently throwing up, that could make her insides quite sensitive, and could mean that that's kind of why the sudden medicine had kind of caused it, but Um, who knows, um, we then spent the next day waiting around all day for them to ring us to give us the blood test results.

Yeah. Um, which again, mildly stressful and not a great system. No, I was a bit happier that day though, I know it sounds silly but she looked quite well in herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And was shaking not badly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that brings us to the last two days where she's drank not too badly. Oh, it brings us to today, doesn't it?

Yeah. There we go, that's like a recap of the last month for you. I mean, I don't know how exciting it all is, but that's the story. I don't know, it's just depressing for people, really. It's not particularly fun. I know, yeah. It's, I think in a weird way, it's just helpful for us to get it out there. It's helpful for us to talk through it and share it.

And if other people are going through this sort of thing, like, I hope you can resonate. And if you're not, I know people feel. Quite sorry for us since we're having a hard time and we are. I mean, I'm just grateful a lot of the time that it's not worse in a way, like, you know, the stuff yesterday with the throwing up blood, you realize, like, as much as we're struggling with feeding, there's so many other medical things that could be happening where it could be so much worse.

Um, she's, she's well and healthy and, she's not Even, even if she has to be false fed. Even if she doesn't want a drink. It was like, after yesterday, I kept saying to Elliot, Well, as long as she doesn't throw up blood again, I'm happy to struggle on with her. Yeah. Just. Yeah.  So. It is a challenge, and it's difficult, and we have good days and bad days, but hopefully it's just a phase, we're kind of right in the thick of that really challenging thing.

I mean, we were exactly right again, weren't we? We had a really good first two months, and just like with Lily, we kind of said the next few months were then, for us, what we found the hardest. It does annoy me though, because I'm like, this is still definitely harder than a toddler. Yeah. Like, and I know we didn't have as many troubles with Lily last time around, but I still, even though they have tantrums, like.

Yeah. And you feel so guilty all the time that we're like, often neglecting Lily in order to care for the baby. Yeah. So poor Lily, she's been really brave. We put in a lot of effort, don't we, to try and  do that. Basically, the other person who's with Lily then has to put in 110 percent to try and be, you As entertaining and loving as possible.

If anything, it's my work that's taken the biggest hit. Oh yeah. Which is just like,  I mean, I have such a wonderful work that are so understanding. But, um, that's why we've not really been able to return to the podcast until now. Because it's just been too challenging. But,  yeah. Yeah, we're muddling through and hopefully, things will, yeah, hopefully the next podcast episode will be like, oh, she's starting to drink a little bit.

Yeah,  yeah, because it got to this point I thought, there's too much here to be able to talk about in a parenting achievement. Yeah, true. We'll have to do a whole episode getting people up to speed and then going forward we'll focus on some topics again. Yeah. About different points in parenting, different things, we've got some ideas planned of fun and, we do. 

They won't, hopefully won't all be like this when we talk about woes. We'll keep you updated on what's going on with life in this way. But as always, the podcast is about the realities of parenting. Yeah. And this is the reality, isn't it? It is, yeah.  You can have one child that never had any allergies and you can have another child that's got a horrendous allergy. 

Oh and shout out, if anyone has any nice recipes for me to eat, remember it needs to be gluten free. Gluten free. And no cow milk. No cow's milk. No soya.  Just, it's a bit of a struggle. Yeah. 

Anyway, thank you for tuning in and joining us this week. Thank you for joining us under the covers in the, in, well it'd be a bit weird to be under the covers in the bed with us. I was gonna say, it's getting a bit weird. It's a little weird, um, but you get the idea. Yeah. Thanks for  Be under your cover.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll be under separate covers in our separate beds. This has been Don't Wake the Baby. God bless, sleep well. Don't wake the baby. Ta ta for now. And the baby's actually asleep so it's actually right for one. Yes, don't wake the baby. Bye.