Midnight Snack Diet | Parents discuss the challenges of staying healthy

Running on snacks and regret... How do you navigate health & fitness as a parent? This is the one where Emma and Elliot chat about staying physically active, losing weight, motivation, junk food, dietary restrictions, the pressure to slim down after having a baby, how impossible it all feels when you have a newborn or toddler - and how to model good habits and talk about our appearances with our children. We're not experts and don't have many tips! But listen to how we're failing so you can feel better about yourself!

Also touching on the associated mental health and spiritual health influences of being active and how it's all interconnected in aiming to live healthily.

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Find resources, Elliot's faith & spirituality projects and more on our website:
www.kairosmovement.org.uk/dontwakethebaby/

Unwind on sleepless nights to a wholesome mix of parenting stories, quirky humour, and cosy crafting. We’re not here to provide answers but to share our experiences, explore how parenting has changed, and build an online community of parents for mutual support.

A fun, honest and unscripted conversation between Emma and Elliot on non-judgemental parenting and millennial-based topics, as we relax on an evening attempting an artistic or creative activity. 

We are a project in partnership with The Kairos Movement and supported by The Methodist Church, of which The Kairos Movement is a part

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 1:50 Parenting Achievements
• 6:35 Staying healthy as parents
• 29:40 Break - Spiritual Health
• 33:30 Talking around our kids
• 43:40 Ending

Transcript

 So Emma what are we talking about today? Today we're talking about the trials of trying to stay healthy and at the same time be a functioning parent. 

This episode is called Midnight Snack Diet. 

Wakey wakey sleepyheads and welcome back to the Blanket household. It's another night. The baby is asleep. So it's time to chat about parenting. It's just a relaxed chit chat about babies and toddlers and children under five and our experiences as parents and how we navigate everything that we're up to in life.

Yeah. And sharing that with you. I'm Elliot. A factoid about me this week is when I was Uh, Growing up, I was very into doing magic, the shy boy that I was. I think I was like, queen of geeks. I really liked Dungeons and Dragons growing up. I loved playing video games, we enjoyed a lot of. Anything geeky really.

We're quite a little, uh, Anime. Big fan. Yeah, yeah. We're quite a little geeky couple, aren't we? We are. In different ways. Yes. You're more like a practical geek. Practical, like making stuff. I just like new skills, really. That's why I like magic and I got really into juggling Rubik's Cubes. Yeah. Like, I enjoy, enjoy a puzzle.

Yes. A challenge. I don't know if that's also because you're quite talented. Whereas, you know, I like. Why, thank you. I like. You're very talented, too.  Mm, yeah.  So I like the creative, geeky pursuit. Things I could just enjoy without giving much back, really. Anyway, that's a bit about us. You get to know us.

Gonna go off on a tangent again. Yeah, we're tangent heavy in this podcast. 

Boop boop boop boop. Buh ding. Oh.  It's Parenting Achievement Time! So what level of parenting have you unlocked this week? Um, we've both been away for the weekend. We have. Separately. Yes, not together. We're not splitting up.  I was on a work conference thing over the weekend and so you took the opportunity to get reinforcements and go on a little break to Scarborough?

Yep. I'm just kind of filling people in. Are there any stories from the weekend? Parenting achievements? Well, we had a hard time. I say we, me, I had a hard time because Lola She's teething very badly at the minute. People don't know that's the baby. Um. Oh, yes. Yeah, we should say, yeah, Lily and Lola. Lola's the little one.

The little one. Almost four months. Yeah, and Lily's our big girl, who's almost four. And Lola just, she didn't wanna, it was really sunny. She didn't want to be outside, and she didn't want to drink unless she was inside with a cover around her, which limits where you can go. Because she hadn't drank much in the daytime, then was up all night drinking, which was good that she was drinking, but And she weed on the bed, with parenting achievement?

Then I woke up, we were bed sharing, because Elliot wasn't there to tell us off.  And I woke up and I was like, oh, I'm very cold and wet.  And at first I was like, oh no, I hope she hasn't thrown up. And then I was like, oh no. Not a throw up, huge wee because of all of everything she'd been drinking. Um, I'll be honest, I was quite relieved it wasn't me, I hadn't wet myself. 

And that Lily hadn't wet herself, that it was the right person to have wet themselves. Yes, very true. Um. There we go, look on the bright side. So yeah. Every cloud has a silver lining. I'd made a note that, you know, Lola is often sick as a little baby, um, and she's sick more than a lot of babies, but it's been doing okay recently.

But Getting better. Uh, I was taken by surprise recently when there was a, um, suddenly out the blue and I was holding her in my arms upright. And, uh, it was very talented. She very talented man's like, send all the sick down the inside of my t-shirt, , like down my top. There was nothing on her, nothing on the outside.

Nothing on the outside of you. I was just like, oh, what's going on, , because I was looking at you like, why is he complaining? And then you showed me and I was like, I was like, she's actually getting like right inside, straight down. I was like, great. This is great. Lovely, lovely stuff. It made me laugh a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A few little ones we could run through as well. I mean, we got lots of parenting achievements recently, you know, with a young baby. There's lots of things happening. Before we forget to mention it, I really enjoyed the story. This was a little while ago, maybe a year. A few weeks, maybe, I don't know, three or four weeks.

Um, you were, you'd made a list of things that you were going to do. Oh yeah. Like one day I was working, you were at home with the baby on maternity leave. And I was like, I need to get the passports done. I need to organize. I think it was like something for Lily, one of her classes. Um, I made a big list of things I wanted to get done that day. 

It's just dropping things. Um,  uh, I'd brought it all out. And then if people don't know if they haven't listened to previous podcast, um, at the time, Lola has like cow's milk protein allergy, but we didn't know that at the time, but she was being impossible to feed, um, and to own up all the time. Um, and then he laughed because when he saw me the other day, I just added to the bottom of the list, keep baby alive, and I just ticked that off.

So it meant I'd done something that day on my list. It was a good achievement. It was. Parenting achievement, you kept the baby alive all day. He did a movie though, like, you'll listen. Like you've added on. I was like, yeah, just to make me feel a bit better. I was like, I have done something. Yeah. I kept the baby alive.

Maybe a story about Lily. Um, I don't think we've told this one. I think this was more recently. I was asking Lily what she wanted to be when she grew up. Oh, yes. Um, expecting a fairly, you know, typical. Answer of like astronaut or I don't know whatever thing she'd heard of. Yeah that she knows about at this age  Instead she told me she wanted to be a clanger when she grows up.

A clanger yeah And if people don't know because they're young like us and haven't grown up watching the clangers It's an old show with these funny little she calls them elephants. I personally think they look like mice I suspect they're meant to be mice aren't they? They're pink and they live on the moon.

Yeah There we go, lots of uh, things that have gone wrong for us recently, or just funny stories, um, are they relatable to you? We'd love to hear from you if you have your own stories to share. Listen out, I've got a good one for next week about a witch. Ooh, exciting, there you go, teaser for next time, there we go.

Get in touch, uh, via the usual means, find all the links below, social media, website, blah blah blah, stuff like that. There you go, you can, you can find it. You'll do it. 

Right. Go grab some more nappies from the shop and let's jump into our conversation today. Um, we should clarify right off the bat. We know nothing about this. We're not experts. We don't claim to be good at this or have any answers. We're just chatting about the struggles and challenges really, I suppose, physical.

Uh, fitness and health and kind of dieting and weight loss and all that type of thing, along with everything else that entails. Um, and as parents, how we navigate, or more accurately, don't navigate.  I saw a meme yesterday that I thought summed it up really well. Oh yeah. Uh, where it said like, I keep my, what do they call it, it's my baby brain, and my um, I keep my metabolism guessing.

I starve one day and then stuff myself the next. And I want to be like, I think that's parenting to a T. Some days I'm like, I barely have time to eat. And other days, I just overindulge to the max.  And somehow I end up reasonably healthy. 

Yeah, we thought it's a good kind of topic to touch on at the moment because in the last month or so as we've been going through the challenges of  having a newborn and also the extra struggles of having a poorly baby and working out, all that stuff that we talked about in our previous episode, if you want to check that out, we've kind of not been great at.

looking after ourselves. In that process, you kind of do eat a lot of junk and just,  you know, survive. And when you've had a hard day, we're just like, should we get a takeaway? Let's get a takeaway. Let's get a takeaway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  That's it. Um, we're also, I mean, we are into March now as we're, the time of recording, but the idea was to cover this topic fairly near the beginning of the year.

Um, cause of course a lot of people do try and make New Year's resolutions to get fitter, get healthier, that sort of thing. Um, I would say every year, I kind of go, I'm gonna do more running this year. He does, he always goes with running.  And he always goes, I'll buy myself some little bits to get me feeling like I want to run.

Yeah, I think I've still got like the tags on the shorts and stuff I bought last year.  I normally manage like one or two runs before I give up. You manage like two or three runs and then you don't do it again for a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The challenge is just time. Yeah.  There's nothing stopping me going running, other than like, when, when can I do it?

Yeah, I think, I keep hoping like, cause Lola's slowly getting more into a routine, that I can be like, oh, then I can walk with her. This time every day and then, but then if you remember in England where they're not really guaranteed. I'm like, do I want to walk in the pouring rain? No, don't really want to.

Do I want to walk when it's really cold? Not particularly.  Yeah, yeah.  So it's, uh, it is, it's, luckily it's getting quite nice. Weather at the minute. So it's getting more seasonally appropriate and hopefully if Lola settles down a little bit whilst you're still on maternity You might have a little bit of time while you're not contending with work as well To do a bit more active stuff.

I mean, how do you find it? So from your perspective as a as a new mum and like the whole postpartum thing about you know Do you feel the pressure to be active to like lose the baby weight and stuff like that?  I do feel pressure in that, um, but it's my own pressure because I did lose it very quickly last time, um, and I think I almost have an expectation that I will this time, which isn't not true.

I'd say I've, I've, I look fairly normal now. I don't feel quite like myself, but I don't honestly think you do till about two years afterwards to be honest. Yeah, and then you then it's not like a conscious thing. You just suddenly realize you feel normal again  Which I don't know if that's physical or mental, but you suddenly go.

Oh, I feel kind of Like I did beforehand. Yeah. Yeah. It's helpful in some ways because once you've done it before you're like, oh, I know properly I'm not gonna feel normal till about two years. But it's challenging, isn't it? Because you don't always know what to do as well You know things like buying new clothes.

Oh, yeah, like at the minute it's a struggle like what yeah My swimsuits that I wore in pregnancy are too big. Yeah, my swimsuits I still have are still too small Yeah, and I'm like, because when we go swimming I go So do I squeeze into a dress  that's too small, or do I wear a really baggy one?  Like, or do you buy a whole new outfit?

buy a new one which seems wasteful? That's just gonna last like maybe a year or less. Yeah, so it's a struggle at the minute. But I keep thinking when we go on holiday, I'll treat myself to a new swimsuit and that'll solve that problem. But it means at the minute, every time I'm going swimming, I have to try on my old swimsuits and be like, Is that, does that fit?

And it's normal at the case at the minute, um, TMI, because I'm breastfeeding, my boobs are a lot bigger than normal. So I'm like, it kind of fits.  But I don't know if this looks quite appropriate to go out in public with. We have done a bit of swimming. I mean, but that's mostly been for the benefit of the kids.

Oh yeah. And for our eldest Lily. Lily loves swimming. I wouldn't say as an activity that we get much like benefit from it. And it's quite a logistical nightmare. I always, always, oh yeah. And I always pretend to myself that I feel a lot healthier afterwards. . And then I'm like, why? All I did was walk around a pool.

I've just been stood in a toddler pool, . Yeah. Not really done any actual physical exertion. Um, but Lola loves water. Yeah. So I think she gets a lot from it too. And the thing I do try and do, which is, I try and walk Lily to nursery most days. It's not like the height of being healthy, but I think it helps me just, if I do nothing else that day, at least I've done some walking that just keeps me kind of healthy and means I've been outside and I've been in the fresh air.

I think what's more annoying for me at the minute is Before I got pregnant with Lola, I was kind of the healthiest I've ever been. So if people don't know, I was like, um, went to classes to do weightlifting, and I was like, really eating lots of protein. So basically, like, being really good. Of course, it was lovely to get pregnant with Lola, but I knew from that point it would just be downhill.

Aww. Like, could I help? Till afterwards. Yeah. Which you have to do, because you can't, like, obviously you should try and be healthy when you're pregnant, but you shouldn't be worried about Yeah, you know,  you know, it's natural to put on weight, isn't it? It's natural to take a while for your body to return.

And you don't want to rush it. So, but it's just, it's knowing, I like have a little picture on my phone where I'm like, that was me at my healthiest. If I never get there again, I can be like, look, that's when I was like, almost had a six pack. Like I was getting there.  It's interesting you say. this because I think you weren't doing physical activity to lose weight. 

You were just wanting to be stronger and fitter, um, which is interesting. I don't feel like that's something that everyone's always. Aiming for. There seems to be a big focus on losing weight, and that's not always the only way to. No, um, and I think part of my reason is,  I, like, Lily wants a lot of carrying, and in the nicest way possible.

I want to be able to carry her as long as possible, in like a sentimental way. Because I was really worried after I'd been pregnant, I was like, oh, what if she gets too big and I'll never be able to carry her again? And it'd be like, the last time I carried her and I didn't appreciate it.  So part of my whole thing is to be like physically healthy enough and strong enough to carry my children and be able to run around with them and Basically, they say they want to do any activities for me to be able to go Sure, I like jump up and be able to do that with you Like yeah, whatever it is because it was hard after with my c section Lily wanted to do a lot of stuff And I was like, well, we can't do that.

Yeah, mommy's got a poly tummy I'm, I'm fairly similar in the way that I think, you know, everyone, everyone is unique and has different challenges and different starting points. Um, so, you know, a lot of people say I'm very skinny and like, you know, I don't need to be worried about losing weight or whatever.

And I'm like, yeah, sure. That's not a problem. But like, I might look healthy, but  you know, my job is just sitting at a computer all day, every day. I do very little physical activity. And I'm, as a result, like, very weak. Like,  I'm not very strong and I would like to be. Same reasons you described there, really.

Um, and like, the stamina to keep up with Lily as she grows and becomes more active and wants to do more running around. It's true. You know, and so they're, they're my motivations. Again, it's not for me about losing weight. Although, like, I I can't fit some of my jeans anymore because I did start from a very skinny place.

And I think it's like, it's not that I'm like, oh, it's not that I don't want to look better. It's just that's the secondary reason to be  able to lose weight. I'm not gonna lie and go, oh, it doesn't give me some confidence to lose a bit more weight. Um, and that's, to me, that seems like quite a healthy way to approach it because that's the other angle of all this, isn't it?

It plays into a lot of mental health as well. Yes, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was gonna say, I was having a conversation with Becky, she liked me mentioned the other day. Easter egg, if you got your bingo card out, your sister in France. My sister in France, Becky.  Because I was saying it's, it's really sad that um, when I was trying to like be healthy after Lola was born I was like, oh it's difficult and I'd just sit and stuff my face.

Now that I can't eat certain things because um, so if people don't know because Lola has cows.  Milk Protein Allergy. Um, I can't eat any dairy really. Yeah. Anything that's You can't eat milk, soya,  uh, beef. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So And you're gluten free anyway. And I'm gluten free anyway. Um, so it's really limited my choice.

But I said it was sad that before, like, I saw a chocolate bar and I'd be like, I couldn't resist eating it. Yeah. And literally the second I found out it could harm my child, I was then like, Oh yeah, don't even want it.  Not even tempted. And I was like, it shows like, it's such a mental thing. Yeah, yeah. That like, you could go,  Oh yeah, I'll just eat the chocolate bar.

But then the next day, because I found out it could hurt my child, I'm immediately like, no, I won't do that. I don't even want it. It's fascinating, isn't it? The motivation, like the internal motivation. Clearly to make myself healthy, not enough motivation. Yeah, but like the external motivation of it being about doing it for someone else that you care about.

But I was saying to Becky, it's sad because clearly we're all willing to look after ourselves better if it was for our children, but not just for ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if it was just for me by myself, I'm like, meh,  I don't need to be that healthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um,  yeah, so I think I am losing quite a lot of weight, but not in a healthy way.

It's just because at the minute, I kind of have to eat almost a vegan lifestyle, but with some meat. Yeah, so it's limited your dietary choices. It's limited what I can eat. Which means you're taking in less calories and it's kind of naturally causing you to lose weight. So this weekend when they like, they saw me, Mum and Dad and Kirsty were like, Oh, you've done so well.

And I was like, I have, but it's been pretty miserable. Like, it's not been like, Oh, I'm eating healthy and it's really fun. It's like, I can't eat anything.  So I'm the opposite. So I have no dietary restrictions. So it's a real challenge. You can go wild. And my, my self motivation for it is just shot completely because I've kind of given up, um, at this point with two kids and it's been a challenging time.

I've, my motivation has been like, well, I'll, maybe I'll try again once the kids are older. At this point, I'm just like, let's roll with it. You know, if we've got chocolate in the house, it's. It's like virtually impossible for me to stop myself  eating it. It's like on a night when I'm cleaning and like, you two, either you're putting Lily to bed or you're going to sleep.

I'll start feeding the baby. And I'm, you know, up finishing off all the tidying up and cleaning and washing up and all the household chores and I'm just like, well, I'll just, I'll just snack on some biscuits. I used to do that though. I used to, so this is, I don't know if this, this is a parenting hint if it helps incentivise you to clean up.

I used to do a thing where I'd be like, right, do I put the dishwasher on? I'll have a bit of chocolate. After I've done that, I'll have another bit of chocolate.  So I'd get a little reward. Yeah, so I'd get like a chocolate bar and I'd do this. thing naively and split it in half, but I'll have half then I wouldn't.

I'd eat the whole chocolate bar for the moment. And then I'm another whole chocolate bar afterwards.  But I was like, I'll be healthy. I'll put in bits. But it didn't work because I've rewarded myself too much after the first task. Um, so if I have an interview, one would be unhealthy. I just reward myself with chocolates. 

Because you'd be really tired and you wouldn't want to clean. So I'd be like, right, this will be my thing to get me to keep going with the cleaning. Yeah. Or like if you're up in the night, it's like, oh, just have a midnight snack, you know. Yeah. I'm up anyway. I'm up late working or you're up with the baby.

Yeah. Just like. See? Yeah, that night time phase is the real killer. It like I'm usually, I can keep myself, you know, on track all day. Mainly because I'm distracted by work. Yeah. Or like, you're distracted with the baby. Baby, yeah. But then once they're all asleep, we just go crazy. Yeah.  Because no one is stopping you. 

Though, but at the minute, I can't do that. So I mean, I think that's why I'm being healthy, because I can't. And so now my problem is, I've not got you eating up some of the unhealthy things. So there's more for me to eat. There's more for you to eat. There's more that I can gobble up. And Lily's not really been that into chocolate recently.

She's been doing well. She's been eating. She's been really healthy. Yeah. She's got into, like, apples and pears.  And she likes Um, I keep making like sugar free jelly, and she really likes that. So it means Elliot's been left with the bulk of all the sweet treats. And we do try and do the thing, you know, where you don't buy it in, you like clear it out, throw out all the unhealthy things.

But we have something called grandparents that come. The grandparents, bless them, they're really nice. They know we're struggling with the baby. And so every week, you know, both sets kind of bring us like cakes and chocolates and crisps. They're like, you need it. You're having a difficult time. And it's true, like we are having a difficult time.

We really appreciate it, but it means that it's there in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  Um, and they haven't quite yet managed to pivot into things that you can eat. So it's still, the bulk of it is still things that you can no longer eat. Yeah, yeah. Like my parents bring a lot of like, um, whisper bars.

Yeah. And uh, bless them, they still bring gluten free stuff, but it's chocolate and often.  Or soya. Or soya in it. It's hard, you know, like there's so many things you can't eat now. Yes, otherwise it's impossible. Yeah. Like this weekend in um, Scarborough. I basically just had to, like, picnic in my room. Yeah.

Because unless I had just chips, wherever you went, for something to be gluten free and basically vegan, because that's what I just do to make sure it has milk free, basically non existent in most places. Or just disgusting. Or disgusting. Or it's like Apologies. Or it's like, oh, you can have an avocado. I'm like, I don't want an avocado, thank you.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry to people who really like avocados, I hate them.  Hot take on the podcast. Hot take. Tastes like mushy, just mushy nothingness to me. Don't like it. Which is, I know people say it's in guacamole and I like guacamole, but I don't like it. Top tip from us and the podcast, if you're looking for ways to stay healthy, restrict yourself with some dietary requirements.

On behalf of someone you love, uh, so it's not self motivated. Yeah, don't have it self motivated and suddenly you'll find the weight just drops off.  But it is funny, places get very confused because I'll, like, order a vegan pizza but then ask them to put chicken on it.  And I think they, they don't quite understand.

So I often put a little message in the thing, like, if I order the take home line to be like, I understand I've put meat on a vegan pizza, it's because I can't eat any. dairy product. I explained that I can't eat and like it can't just be lactose free because that still sometimes has milk in because I think they'll read the order and go that can't be right. 

We'd love to know your tips really if you're out there if you're um, you know, healthy people. It is good, so when Lily was two and I started doing my fitness once a week, going to a class, like a group class, was actually really helpful. Yeah, I think it'll get easier as, as our, you know, Lola gets a bit older.

Yeah, and if she gets more reliable so I can go out more. But that's a great example of like, you are relying again on an external motivating factor of like a class to be like, I'm going to commit to this. I think also then it's It might be a woman thing, but I like it being sociable. Yeah, that really helped you.

I know you like being solitary. It sounds like my worst nightmare, to be honest, going to some sort of fitness class. I really enjoy it, even though I'm not like, oh, Mrs. Sociable. I like going and chatting away to people. Yeah. It just makes it more fun for me, rather than doing it alone. Whereas I like to go for a run alone in the woods.

Yeah.  Doesn't sound dodgy at all. I'm gonna be like a murderer. I mean, I love to swim. I used to swim a lot as a kid. But even then I struggle because I'm like, well, there's lots of other people in the pool.  I'm like, I would like it if it was just a pool, you know, for myself. A private pool. That'd be nice. 

We're very rich. You can have your own private pool.  We could just live by the sea. That's true. Would you go swimming in the sea? Yeah, I mean, I'd quite enjoy it. It's a different experience, isn't it? Yeah. And like, I'd struggle all year round. Yeah. You know, I'm not one that likes to, you know. Yeah, some people love it, don't they?

You know, cold water swimming, dip in an ice bath. Yeah. That's not for me. Not for me. As a kid, as a kid, I did like to take cold showers.  I did growing up as well actually. And now I like them like  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait, I can't wait for it to be summer. Yeah. Because I can't, I, I like, I used to go on nice long walks with Lily and I'd just put my headphones on and then you'd just be like, oh, walking around with the baby.

But it'd be nice weather and you could kind of get a good walk in. Yeah. I, I remember, I was, what you said made me think of, um, how you used to, um, Do like little workouts at home, put YouTube videos on. I did, yeah. Follow like yoga or just like workout stuff, strength stuff, all sorts of different things.

And this was good recently, me and Lily, because Lily's obsessed with ballet, so she goes to ballet once a week. Yeah. I found often if I'm with Lily and Lola by myself. Lily likes to follow those ballet videos. Yeah on YouTube, but obviously I have to take part while I'm holding Lola So it's like a really good strength exercise like you have to do ballet Like very simple ballet, but do ballet while holding the baby  Yeah, I find that the best as well actually like  I don't like to Suggest it as a fun game to do because it's exhausting and I like don't have the stamina for it But sometimes we have like those dance parties where we see.

Yes, we do Yeah, you just go crazy jumping about and dancing around in crazy ways and that like honestly gets you heart going Yeah much better than a run. Well I thought, I was very proud of myself in Scarborough, I'd had three hours sleep, I'd been woken up by that wet, well, the very cold wee, because obviously, like, six o'clock in the morning, and Lily was like, I want to dance to Burger Dog, and I was like It's also quite a deep cut, because it's not just Bluey, it's the Bluey mini episodes.

Oh yeah, yeah, true, Bluey mini episodes, there's a song called Burger Dog.  Burger Dog, Burger Dog, he likes pickle and he likes cheese. Um, we played that, and Lily's like, are you gonna dance? And I was like  Sure!  So then we were dancing to Burger Dog and I remember thinking, I didn't think in my life I'd be working, I was still partly wet.

From the baby's week, because I hadn't had time to get changed. Dancing to Burger Dog. Just generally, both in terms of fitness and losing weight, and the whole, you know, the whole holistic of looking at it all together. To me, I think one of the big challenges is sleep. Yeah, true. Like, I'm pretty sure research says that sleep is so important and so helpful.

I try not to look at it, because it's depressing that it's like Years drop off your life. Yeah, yeah.  And I'm like, oh, and it's when somebody was like, you'll never get sleep back. Scientifically, once you don't get it, I was like, that's great. So it's not just a lack of time, but it's the lack of sleep makes you have less energy and which makes you eat more because you feel tired.

That whole thing. But also the lack of sleep itself is contributing to an unhealthy lifestyle. Like, if you were just able to get more sleep, that in itself would be helpful for you to lose weight, for you to be healthier. If you do everything. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, I was impressed myself because I did dance to Burger Dog, then we had to practice flossing like Bingo does.

Yeah, yeah. And I managed to kind of do some flossing. But I was like, I mean, that's kind of healthy. Woke up at six o'clock and danced. Yeah. Would I have done that pre being a parent? I don't think so.  So I think in some ways they do, like, the children keep you healthy in the fact that they are children.

Yeah, it's true. And they're like, we want to dance. We want to run around and do this. We want to go out and do activities today. Yeah. Go to the park, you know, like, often end up carrying Lily on my shoulders. Yeah.  But stuff like that, I always think, I must, I must be getting some sort of,  you know, fitness adjacent  type exercise that must be contributing somehow to my health and well being.

And I keep thinking, it's nice once the girls are older, you can kind of, like, with Lily, she was getting to a good age where you can go on quite, like, a good outing for the day around her National Trust property or something, there's quite a lot of walking, and And for Lola, it's not bad if you can get her in a good mood and in a sling.

Yeah. Just those little moments for me, I think. Like, I wake up on a morning and often end up having to carry both Lily and Lola down the stairs. Lola because she's a baby and Lily because she's terrified of stairs.  She stands at the top and says, I'm, I'm, let's go. She's very brave though. When we were in Scarborough, she literally would tell people as we were going to go down the stairs, she'd be like, mommy's going to hold my hand because I don't like stairs. 

Like, just to random people. And I was like, yeah, she doesn't like stairs.  And I was like, I don't know if I was sharing this with everybody.  But like, it only takes a few seconds, but you know, that, that moment where I'm like carrying both kids downstairs, it's like quite a heavy weight. Pretty impressive too.

And I'm like, well, this must be doing some, some good, somehow. Lily often goes, can you carry me alone? I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not daddy,  can't manage that, sorry. I mean, it's just, it's just hard, isn't it? Because also, as we've said, mentioned already, it also ties into, like, your mental well being. And that's really hard as well.

So, like, all these factors are, like, coinciding all at once. And there's not a lot you can do about it.  Because you're like, oh, I'd feel a bit mentally healthy if I got all of my sleep. I'd feel a bit mentally healthy if I hadn't had a hard day with the baby. Like, all those things would make you feel a bit better, which would probably make you want to exercise more.

Or, and the reverse, like, if you were able to get out and exercise, if you were able to get outside and go for a long walk or a run or do, you know, go for a swim, that would help your mental health as well. Like, it's just then a vicious cycle of one thing leads to the other and you're kind of then stuck at the bottom.

Yeah, just eating. Yeah, just, just eating junk. 

So we're very grateful we're able to do this project through the support of the Methodist Church and the Kairos Movement. Obviously they are faith communities that you can get involved with if you so wish, but that's not, that's entirely optional and not at all a requirement of listening to the podcast.

For us, chatting about parenting is also a way to look at faith and spirituality just through the lens of parenthood and, you know, what that looks like in everyday life. Not about, you know, going to church on Sunday, but What does spirituality look like amongst the busyness of raising children? Do you think there's a spiritual element to, uh, kind of exercise and health and fitness?

I think so. Loads of people are like, oh, I feel God when I go to church. I'm like, eh. Do I? Eh, bit iffy. Bit of a miss. Maybe. Depends what's going on. Do I feel it when I'm out in nature? 100%. Way more. I think it's just On a walk or a run. Yeah, especially, we both are huge lovers of forests. Yeah. And like, locks if we're in Scotland.

Or just the community element, like you said about doing, you know, the workouts with a group, um, There's all sorts of like, clubs and groups of people that do activities, you know, whether it's like, sea swimming, like we talked about, or like, a sporting activity, like a club in that sense. I wouldn't let people play football.

What I'm thinking about in a minute, which you won't like, is I'm tempted to start doing a dancing club once a week. You to join a dancing club? Yeah. Ah.  You know, uh, Lily's dad's school. They have one for adults. Oh, right. Okay. And beginners can go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's like one night a week. But I think I'm gonna have to wait till Lola's a bit more reliable.

Yeah. Um, but I thought that's quite a healthy thing and it's not too, because of my C section, I don't want to do the weightlifting yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like all these things, like we've talked, uh, so far about, you know, the The physical health and the mental health, but there's also, you know, the like, spiritual health as well that I think a lot of these activities are good for too, like, you know, some of these things, um, Well, I think a lot of people just, even if you're swimming, just being part of kind of nature y things is just, Yeah, that type of being bigger.

Just connection, isn't it? Connection to yourself, to others, to the world around you, to your body, um, And you don't have to be talking about Jesus or God, but if it feeds your soul,  then that's, that's great. Um, so that's the sort of thing, you know, we like to discuss, chat about, uh, that's our, you know, the way we approach faith, I suppose, within particularly the Kairos movement.

Um, so if that type of way of talking about faith is of interest, then check out the range of different online activities and groups and discussion things that they offer.  Um, through my work, I also do a range of stuff on Instagram and in other places talking about faith. So if you want more of my perspective on that, um, fun creative ways of exploring what that looks like in a modern world.

Yeah. And very quickly, just to plug, we'd love you to interact with us on social media. Oh yes. Follow, like, subscribe, click all the buttons, clickity, click, click, tap, tap, tap, whatever you're on a phone, computer, I don't know, you know. All of them. You know the stuff we want you to do. People don't do things on computers nowadays, you know, don't be so ridiculous But particularly we'd love for this conversation to grow and more people be involved You know the more people that listen that the better the conversation can be and honestly Even helpful for us, but so many of our listeners were really helpful when Lola had, like, her cow's milk allergy.

Yeah. Like, we actually get, we want it to be a supportive space that everyone gets help. Yeah, and it supports us. We've got a lot of help from it.  So if there's one thing, you know, share the podcast with a friend, share it with someone else who might enjoy, uh, the journey, the conversation, or the support group around it.

Um, that would be fabulous. Thank you so much for listening. 

So you just brought up a good point, Emma, to talk about, um, not just how we approach health and fitness as parents, but also, you know, our children as well. And how do we, I don't know, encourage it? Instill it?  Well, what I really liked This is harking back before I had my baby, um, I used to do some little workouts at home and it was really nice because Lily would watch me and then she'd want to do it too.

Yeah. And I used to think that was a nice healthy way of not going, oh, let's work out, but being like, well, mommy's doing this and you've seen mommy be healthy. So you want to do it too. Like it just automatically. Um, and it's one of the reasons I like her doing ballet. I mean, it's. It's nice that she likes it so much, but it means  once a week, you know, she's doing something kind of  healthy and, you know.

And, and seeing good habits, getting into good habits, encouraging that. And then not being a chore, because I never like it to be like, oh, I have to work out. Like, I try and around her be like, won't it be fun, whatever we're doing. Because this is the whole, this is the flip side of that exact argument, is actually You want to present and show a really positive way of approaching it, but it could equally, you know, tip the other way and you worry about if you're hyper focused on, you know, weighing yourself every day or worried about your figure and appearance, like, that's also a negative thing that's happening.

kids might pick up on. Well, it's like I try and have a, I try and always be positive with ever, whatever photo I am showing of myself and go, Oh, doesn't mummy look beautiful? When in my head, I'm often like, Oh my goodness, what face am I doing? That is not a good angle, but you have to go. Mummy looks beautiful because if not.

She'll start to criticise her looks. Yeah. And with Lily, already, like, a while ago, she said her tummy looked big in a photo. Aww. Um, and she didn't necessarily say it negatively, but I was automatically, like Yeah, just registering that. Yeah, like, oh, she already started to notice things about her appearance.

And we really need to be positive about appearances. And that shouldn't just fall on you either, you know. No, I just think because I'm the woman, she kind of You know, we do have two daughters. But, you know, I'm, I recognise I am also incredibly vain.  That's true. I'm pretty bad at wanting to look good. Who takes longer to get ready in this household?

Is it mummy or daddy?  I mean, there's not a lot, you know, as a man, I can't really do a lot. No, true. You know, it is what it is. But, um, Yeah, I, I'm in a similar position where I have to be careful. It's definitely, it shouldn't just be like a, Oh, the woman needs to look good. Yeah, true. It's, this isn't a gendered split thing.

No, I think it's, it's hard because  Naturally,  like, growing up in the world we've grown up in, I, I'm used to saying, like, Oh, look at me now, I look horrendous. Like, I'm used to, without thinking about it, I'm used to just saying what I think. And being quite critical of myself. So, it's just hard sometimes, like I was sat, um, talking to mum and dad and being like, Oh, the other day I was trying to get some jeans on, I still couldn't fit them.

Yeah. But I was saying like, as a joke, being like, I had such confidence, I pulled them up and I was like, Oh, that's a bit of a shock to the system. Don't fit in them yet. And Lily was lovely because Lily went, Well, you need to grow more. That's why you don't fit your jeans, because you need to grow up. But I was like, Oh, I forgot.

She could understand and listen and interact with my stories I tell. So then I was going, oh yes, that must be it. Mummy will wait till she grows up. Um, but it reminded me of going, I can't, I can't start telling these stories in a negative way. This has been a huge, you know, transition for us is. Going from having a toddler who's beginning to learn to speak and understand and listen to our conversations to having a fully fledged, you know, preschooler, she's almost four, she can talk and engage in conversation.

And her understanding is really good of stuff now. Yeah, yeah, so being really aware, not just of what we say, but what everyone is saying around her, about how people are talking about their bodies and other people's bodies, and just, we've been really noticing some of that and trying to work out how do we, Safeguard Lily,  from some of the negative ways, just naturally in society, it's ingrained.

And it's hard for people, because I know it's hard for me. Like, I don't blame people when they say things, because I'm like, that's the way we've been conditioned, especially our generation. We had like, a lot of very skinny supermodels, we were taught. that people in films were fat who were not fat at all, to any degree.

Like the fact that Bridget Jones was considered chubby, and like in the first film, she's desperate to lose weight when obviously she looks fantastic in all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that kind of thing. I'm aware I've grown up with that. So my idea of what I've been taught is ideal. It's not what is ideal anyway.

Um. But to not bring any of that for Lily is a challenge sometimes because I am self critical. And I have to take your lead in that because obviously as a man I don't quite have that same conditioning. I've not been taught in the same way to regard your body in that way. For some reason, you know, like, There is some of it, but somehow men can get away with a lot more.

I think there's more pressure on men nowadays than there's ever been. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Like, not particularly your age group, but I think young men, I think bodybuilding's huge at the minute. That's true, yeah. So I think that is another unhealthy angle to go down, but fortunately we don't have boys, we don't have to worry about that too much at the minute.

Um, but yeah. So at the minute, I'm doing a lot of like Healthy talking about being we're all beautiful. Yeah, and you know, just not think about like any picture ever I'm like you look beautiful. Yeah, you look beautiful in that picture or sometimes you purposely do a funny face and I'm like Oh, aren't we silly doing faces?

This extends beyond, you know, just You know, our bodies in a sense of, you know, fitness and weight and stuff, and into like physical attributes entirely, you know. This is a whole other topic that we could spend a long time on a whole podcast talking about. But, you know, I'm even aware of things like, you know, Lily at the moment loves Rapunzel. 

She does. And loves that, like, she has long hair like Rapunzel. Yep. And in some ways I'm slightly cautious of the fact that she can look down on other children when she goes, They've not got long hair. Yeah, it's true. And She sees it as a positive attribute that she does have long, that she has have long hair.

Yes. And I, you know, just, just those little things that are kind of, and once again, that's like a lot of the princesses are blonde. Yeah. She likes the fact that she's blonde, like a lot of the princesses. Yeah. Um, and you've gotta be like, yes, it, it is nice that they have the same color hair as you, but that doesn't mean that's the best color of hair, or that's not the best thing to be mm-hmm

Um. Which is hard, because she, she fits that mould, so to her that's not a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah. And again, with this whole conversation, again, we're, we're maybe not the best people to be talking about it. As is often the case, you know, we're, you know, a very typical family, we're, we're,  on the scheme of things, quite healthy and skinny and, you know, that sort of thing.

So. Well, it's true, because I used to think this was bad in a way, that the health deserters,  would openly go, oh, well, you're both skinny. We're not worried about your children. We're not worried about your children. Like, when Lily was, I think, one or two when they come over, they openly were like, well, you're skinny, so I'm sure you eat the right things. 

And I remember at the time going, I'm glad, because, you know, it's always hard with the health visitors. Yeah. I'm glad they're not putting pressure on us, but at the same time, if I had been a bigger person,  That doesn't mean I'm not eating healthy. Like, that doesn't mean I don't know what nutrition is. So difficult.

Like, it's just when she said it at the time I was like, that's really not, that's not really what you should be saying. Like, in our case it's a compliment to us, but  we could be for eating junk and happen to look like this. Well we do eat junk. We do eat junk and look like this. That's the problem. I know. 

So at the time I was like, I'm not going to say anything because I just want the health to just say we've done a good job. You know, I do that typical thing every week. I buy in bananas and they go bad and I throw them out. Like, I do not eat healthily. It's like for, I think it must be genetics. I think a lot of it's genetics.

And we've won a kind of some luck of the draw. Yeah. To a certain extent. Because I'm like, we do try and eat healthy. But recently we have not been, been good. Yeah.  All this to say, um, you know, we can only speak from our experience and there's so many challenges, isn't there? It's so difficult to navigate, but we would love to hear from you, uh, if you have a different experience or in a different position.

Yeah. Um, maybe you find staying fit and active and healthy really easy and have some great tips for us. Oh, I was gonna say, we actually have some really good tips of ways to stay healthy. Yeah. I want it to be kind of almost without trying, which is hard. Yeah, that's the problem. We want it to be achievable, which at this point is like Uh,  we're not willing to put any effort in.

No, minimal effort. Yeah, um, I hope our conversation is, uh, resonated or helpful or just, you know, it shares where we are on our journey and that's the main thing. But of course we are always right and, uh, you cannot argue with us. That is, uh, we have the final say. Well, I was going to say something else that makes me feel bad, but luckily Becky hasn't been doing it at the minute.

So my sister in France, she used to go on long bike rides and both the boys would be on bikes and she'd be on a bike. They'd go back into a wood and that'd be the start of their lives. I mean, I haven't, I haven't, I've barely walked in a week. Yeah,  but you can't compare yourself to others. I know. You can't, we can't, we can't do that.

But it's hard when you're identical, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But your situations aren't the same. They're not. You know, like, yeah, just don't, don't look at other people. Don't compare yourself. But it's good at the minute because she's struggling too. Yeah. So we're sat together struggling, which I know. 

So maybe that's it, maybe it's good for us to have done this episode while we're struggling and eating junk and not doing any exercise. So you guys can feel like you've achieved something. Yeah, yeah, we're trying to make you all feel better. And you're better than us. Yeah, that's it. This is what we're here for.

Yeah. 

Well, thank you so much for joining us in the Blanket Fort this evening, this morning, whatever time of day it is for you. Wherever you are. Wherever you are. Ah da da. And we've done well. Lola has stayed asleep for the entire time. Then good, be good. Oh, we better wake her up soon. Yeah, better do. Come back next time, we'll be chatting about another topic.

Yep. And, uh, in the meantime Try and be healthy. Close your eyes, sleepyhead. It's time to go to bed!  God bless, sleep well. Can you tell we haven't seen each other in a while, we're just quite excited to talk. Yeah,  yeah, yeah. Don't wake the baby!