Midlife Marauders

Election Blues, Botox Boosts & Quincy’s Brilliance

• Will & Max

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In this episode, we dive into: why Halloween has become the ultimate extended celebration for midlifers, election reality bites (yes, even missing Dubya), a heartfelt tribute to the legendary Quincy Jones, and breaking the stigma around men embracing Botox and the occasional Viagra boost. It’s a mix of reflection, laughs, and real talk about midlife moments!



Thanks for listening--keep on marauding!

Unknown:

Nine. Welcome to Midlife Marauders with Will and Max. Max question for you, when did Halloween get taken over by midlife people, middle aged people. Is that your perspective, or you think you've actually seen it more like I think it's, I think it's both firsthand, definitely firsthand, and then, you know, I'm, I'm becoming aware of this fact that, you know, when I was growing up, Halloween was just for the kids. You know, we used to go out trick or treating. I don't ever remember my parents wearing costumes. Did your parents definitely were not celebrating or not like dressing up, right? So it was just, you know, kids, you go around to the houses in your neighborhood, none of times have changed. You know, people, the world has changed. People got a little crazier and doing weird stuff now, you know. And you know, I remember, you know, well, after my childhood, you know, parents would take their kids to the mall or, you know, somewhere smaller they, you know, they can kind of control the environment. But the reason why I'm asking you about Halloween is because this past Halloween, I swear I celebrated Halloween at least for a week and a half. And that's just crazy. And I'm like, when did Halloween become this long, drawn out party? And it was, was that because you wanted to celebrate, or other people trying to dragged you into it. Well, I wouldn't say drag, but, you know, there were definitely, like invitations to house parties. There was, you know, kind of a couple of local establishments were doing some some stuff. And it was, you know, it was always, not always, I shouldn't say that, but it was more or less, you know, because when Halloween falls during the middle of the week, I guess that's still for the kids to go out and go trick or treating. Yeah, they still go, yeah. But you know, for the adults, they want to celebrate Halloween on the weekend. So for me, it was, it was a long, drawn out process, because my friend holds an annual Halloween bar crawl, and it's just a small event. It's maybe like 20 people that do it, but we go out in a kind of a place where they have a lot of bars and restaurants near me, and it's a weekend before, that's the Thursday before, weekday before, that's when everything starts. Yeah, yeah. So I did that that was cool, dressed up as Chester Cheetah from the Cheetos brand, please show me a photo. Yeah, I'll have to show you a photo, but it just something. I ran out to spirit Halloween about a quick costume, but everybody else was was dressed, you know, great costumes, and they like my costume, even though I just bought it, you know, a day before. But, you know, there was people there with all kinds of Marvel outfits, and there was kind of an Egyptian queen and king there. There was a whole bunch of stuff, but it's just your group, right? It was just my group. Just my group. So, you know, we kind of stand out, because we're doing it a week before Halloween. And, you know, people always say, Oh, that's so cool that you guys do that. Blah, blah, blah, I want to be invited next year, so on and so forth. So again, that was the week prior to Halloween. So we parted and did our thing, and then coming. Then there were since Halloween was on the following Thursday, the the bars and restaurants want to celebrate Halloween on the weekend. So there was a there were a couple parties on that Saturday before Halloween. Okay? And same people in your some of the same, different, you know, I reuse my Halloween outfit for that. Hey, it is what it is. I'm not buying a bunch period. So, yeah, so that was cool. And then the actual holiday of Halloween came up the following Thursday, and you know, I went to a buddy's house. He was having people over, and you know, there were a few kids there, but again, it was just a bunch of middle aged people in costumes and drinking and eating and so on and so forth. And then the people of kids, what are their kids doing? They were just kind of like running around the neighborhood, you know? He Okay, so they were trick or treating. They were trick or treating. He has set up a a. On fire out in front. So it was cool. And then there was another celebration that night at an establishment I go to. So I actually went to about four or five Halloween events over that week. And it was always with people that were not always but it was with people that were of my age or still in their midlife years, and I'm just like, when did we take over this holiday of Halloween? And it was just a problem, right? Are you complaining? Are you like, I'm complaining, doesn't it? Was it just a realization, it's just too much. It's just nobody's forcing you to do these things. No, I know, but it's just like, you know, people get disappointed when you can't show I need to be able to let people down a little. Yeah, learn how to say no. 100% but I'm like, after Halloween was over, I was like, Man, I am exhausted from Halloween. I just never had that feeling before. And I was wondering, Am I the only one? Is just my circle of friends that have this, this ordeal they have to go through. Are you experiencing it? What's going on here? So I'm not, because I went, actually, I went with my kids trick or treating. Kind of held their bags sometimes when it was raining here, of course, and then so I was holding the umbrella and kind of, and then my older one kind of left early, so I was with my younger one. So trick or shooting is still happening, but, but I guess my question is, you know, we kind of say on this podcast, just say yes, right? Like, say yes to everything, you know, because there's a tendency, I think, of mid lifers, to not make the effort to do things. So are you saying sometimes you should say no. I'm saying say yes, but in you know, in moderation, you can't do everything all the time, but no, it was fun. I shouldn't say it like that. I did have a good time at every event. I just thought it was very peculiar that Halloween pretty much lasted for seven to eight days. And I just thought it was hilarious to me. And I'm wondering if people are going through this same experience and are noticing that adults, particularly middle aged couples with kids, are celebrating as hard or harder than their actual kids are. So I think do something fun. Well, I was only one of my family to buy a new costume, so everybody else either use something old or like scrambling at the last minute. So I do think there's a sense of, you know, we want to have fun, and that's cool, great, you know, and kind of be silly a little bit. Yeah, no. And I think that's cool. It was just seemed to be a very long, drawn out affair that just made me a little tired, that's all. But it's cool. Hey, celebrate Halloween. I can't wait to Halloween falls back on the weekend, so we just yeah, maybe it was because of the way it was laid out. Yeah. Yeah. So it's cool. It's cool. Do your thing on Halloween. Dress up. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. I know. Speaking of bitching, man, I mean, we would be remiss not to talk about the election. It's politics. There last time. Pat, you know, what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts? Let's just start with you. Well, you know, they talk about you're in the however many stages of grief, and I feel like I'm still in the denial stage of grief. I think it was, it was shocking. It was, for me, it was shocking, it was sad. I mean, I feel like a lot of people who voted for Harris feel, I think, you know, very disappointed. I don't agree with all these people who are trying to point fingers and saying, Oh, she should have done this, or she shouldn't have run, or anything like that. I think she gave it her best effort. I'm sad, because I feel like Trump represents, you know, all of the things I don't want my kids to look up to. You know, all the values we teach our kids. So It's so disappointing to me, you know. So what are your thoughts? For me, it's like, I think that, you know, he did a whoever his team is, as far as getting the message out to the people or just or his political platform is so simplistic that it kind of caters to the base populace. What I mean by that is, I remember going to the voting booth and seeing signs for Harris and seeing signs for Trump. And, you know, the Harris signs were just basic Harris, you know signs, but the Trump signs were like, Trump, lower lower taxes, Harris, higher taxes. You know what? I mean. It was just so like, very simple, very similar messaging, very clear. Messaging and you know, and I, you know, and I, you know, I can, a well reasoned mind, can read above that, but just just on that visceral surface level, like, that's, that's, that's what that's catering to the people. Like, it's just so simple, I'm going to lower taxes, she's going to raise taxes. I'm, you know, getting rid of, rid of illegal immigrants. She's letting them in. It's just like, you know, like, they can't be that simple, obviously. And I was like, Man, that's just, that's just some brilliant marketing. And I'm not surprised by the results. I really not I, you know, my mom told me the other day that she saw somewhere where, like 20 million registered Democrats didn't vote for for Harris, or didn't vote at all. I should say, yeah, just vote at all. And I'm like, I don't know why. Now we couldn't explain a good reason for that. I think she did a reasonable job in the time that she had, you know, obviously, you know, her campaign was, you know, I wouldn't say rush, but it was shortened by all extensive intensive purposes. Again, I'm not surprised, you know, I'm not again. I'm not a big political you know, if people want to vote Republican, they vote Republican. People want to vote Democrat. They want they vote Democrat or Independent. I'm just looking at the character of people that are running, and to me, it seemed clear that one character was a little bit better a person than the other. And I guess character doesn't matter anymore. No, you know, it's not as big a factor. No, it's not, it's not just what you know, I think people are just looking at what this President can do for them, as opposed to the the majority. They're looking at it from an individual standpoint, and the fact that they trust that he'll do stuff for them is kind of, yeah, yeah. Again, this isn't a podcast of, you know, we're trying to sway political opinion on it. We have our viewpoints and our beliefs, but it doesn't surprise me at all. And you know, all we can do from this point on is just, you know, as my mom said, just pray and and then, you know, hopefully God will see us through this. And you know, these, these people, aren't deities. They're not gods. They're they're humans, just like we are. And you know, we, we had four years of Trump before, and we, we got through it, and hopefully we'll be able to get through four years of this one. So I'm just, I do think it, I don't know, for some people, hopefully it was motivating, like we gotta, we can't just sit by and let things happen. Because I feel like that was one thing that I realized, because one of my teenage kids, you know, who he can't vote right now, he said something like, oh, you know, I don't like either of the candidates, you know. And that's what you hear right from some people. The reason for not engaging or not voting is because they don't like either of them. So I and I thought, wow, you know, my kid is very easily influenced or influenced. I shouldn't say, you know, I should respect his opinion. But you know the fact that you just sit out and you're apathetic, I think that's not a great thing, and I feel like some people in our generation, including me, are fairly apathetic and not motivated, you know, with a Slack, slacker generation. So it made me think, Oh, if I want change, I need to step it up. You know, not just think about like doing the bare minimum, like I gave a little bit of money to the campaign or something. I need to, you know, be a little bit more involved, or more involved, you know, or figure out how I can best contribute to make change that I believe in. So I thought that was kind of a lesson from the event, you know, from the camp elections, that I can't just sit around and expect things to change and hope other people will carry things, you know. So I really respect Harris for doing her best. And I think what was disappointing, I think the polls were showing that was so close, and in the end, it wasn't so I think we were all kind of thinking it would be closer than it was. Was Right, right? You know, I'm weighing in on your apathy there. I think it said an all time high. I remember as a as a lad, I remember I used to, I used to be excited about elections. You know, it was, oh, really, yeah, you know, which elections were you excited about Obama? I was excited about Clinton. I was excited. I had a reality about Clinton. Just curious. It was just he, he seemed like a decent person. He seemed, well, you know, he seemed, just seemed like a good man, and, um. Um, just, just, just decency, yeah, I think that was most of the yes of the presidency, yeah, just he, you know, back then the people that ran for president, look, you know, were people that you, at least to me, were people that you kind of looked up to on both sides. No, for sure. Like, I always think, like, people say, right, bring back, bring bring back. W. I mean, he's just yeah, a good old Yeah. I mean, we look back at W, and, you know, I wasn't a big W fan, but looking back at it now, man, I you know what I mean, he, you know, he wasn't the greatest president, but at least he seemed like a good person, you know, yeah, he was more relatable, for sure, 100% and then when, you know, when he had to, you know, transfer power. He did it with such grace and such elegance. You know, it was, it was a peaceful transfer of of that position, and that's just something that we are sorely missing right now. And, you know, like I said, it's just feeding into to apathy, you know, you know, I voted, but I wasn't excited to vote. You know what? I mean, there was no drive for me. Like, I'll be honest. Excited this. I was excited. I'll be honest with you. You want to know the real reason why I voted, why I didn't want to disappoint my mother. I knew she was going to call and ask, Did you vote? Did you vote? And I just did not want to, like, disappoint her, and I couldn't tell her no. So I voted, and so was your mom super disappointed and sad? Like, No, she wasn't super, you know, she wasn't super disappointed. She's realistic. She thought Kamala had a reasonable chance, but she she could foresee that, you know, she could probably lose the election. And my mom is, is a very God fearing woman. So she she believes that God will take care of us no matter what the bad people. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping to Yeah, 100% so it is what it is. You know, the election has come and gone, and we have to deal with it, and all we can do is, you know, I don't know if we should put our faith in this president, but just hope that it turns out okay. I mean, look, look, the majority has spoken, right, right? You know, they people want, wanted him, wanting one of him wanted Trump to be our president. So, all right, they felt he was the best option. Yeah, democracy in action. So here we are with it, and let's see where where the chips fall. God bless us all. Well news before the elections was Quincy Jones passed away. So, yeah, let's talk about his impact. Was a genius, yeah, he he touched, at least musically. He touched a lot of people. Had a lot of influence in music. He will be sorely missed. You know, as far as my kind of thoughts about Quincy, you know, obviously he was influential with Michael Jackson's career, yep, I grew up on that album, yeah, yeah, thriller. I mean, I remember playing that over and over and over. Were you an off the wall fan? Do you remember, not as much, really have that album, but you know, I liked, I like a lot of his stuff. I know a lot of Michael Jackson's earlier stuff. Speaking of thriller, I saw a story that made me chuckle. You know, he produced, or had a hand in producing that, that album, and particularly that song. And when he gave it to Michael, he Michael felt that the intro to the song was, was too overbearing in what way, and just just too much. It kind of like he didn't he just didn't like the intro. He didn't like the horns and and everything else. He said it was a bit too much, like, everybody can hear that in your Yeah. I mean, that's, it's iconic. And, you know, Quincy told Mike, you know, basically, to shut the hell up. This is what the song is going to be. And it turned out to be, yeah, what it is, what you know, but Quincy didn't, didn't always have that. Well, I mean, I should say everybody, every creator, has, you know, one, you know, a couple things or misses, yeah, some hits or misses. Another story I read about Quincy was, he was the executive producer of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And before that, before that show aired. He has sent Will Smith the the intro, and it wasn't the intro that we we know and love today. And Will Smith was on an interview, and he said that Quincy sent him the song, and will hated it. He didn't like it at all, and he had spoke to Jazzy Jeff, and he said, Man, I don't like this intro. I think it sucks. And then Jazzy Jeff was like, Hey, I got something here. Let's put something together. And within, like, a day, you know, they came up with the theme song for the first prince, and they finished it and and Jazzy Jeff was like, Well, hey, you got to send this to Quincy now. And Will, Will Smith was like, so scared. He's like, I don't know, man. He's like, and then Jazzy Jeff eventually convinced him to do it. So he sent the song to Quincy, and Quincy heard it. And Will Smith was, you know, stated an interview. It's like, I was just so nervous about what he's gonna say. Was he gonna trash it, whatever. And then Quincy Jones was like, Well, this is better than that bullshit I came up with, so let's just use this. So that's why we got that. That's how we got the Fresh Prince. But obviously that's good. He didn't have, like, a huge ego. No, no no, he he produced. We are the world Correct? Yes. And I saw that documentary latest night and pop music or something like that. It was interesting, because he did have such, I mean, he was the one who brought everybody together. You know, he was able to attract all the superstars because he represented a lot of them, or he produced for them. So that was one of the, I guess, themes, if you read his obituary, about how he was a connector and able to bring people together to collaborate on projects. So that was, that's really interesting documentary. And, yeah, I never saw him in a great light, but I just remember, and, you know, this is a midlife podcast, so I assume I was old enough to remember when that video came out. And I remember back then as a as a child or young adult man, what an eclectic group of people in this video. And I just couldn't believe how he was able to get all these people and all these egos together to make this song. Now, obviously the song was for a greater good, and I guess you would look dumb if for turning it down, but some people did turn it down or like they left early because they were annoyed, yeah, so there was all sorts of drama behind it. Oh, wow, yeah, yeah. I heard some stories of poor people, yeah. I heard some stories about people maybe, and maybe being intoxicated while doing it, and things of that nature. But yeah, that was, that was a, you know, obviously, an iconic moment in music history. And, yeah, I mean, speaking of simplistic messages, I mean, I didn't love that song. I think because of that, you know, because I didn't think it was that great of a song. And some people talked about that. I mean, really, you read, you read, like, some, um, journalists or, you know, music reviewers kind of panning it, because the song itself is not great in terms of right, deep, but it really resonated with a lot of people, and it raised a lot of money, money, yeah, I think, I think you're right. You know, if you go back and they're like, play the lyrics back in your head. It's very simple, but I think, but I guess that's what, I don't think that was the point. Yeah, yeah, it was catchy, and it was just the fact that, you know, all these music Titans were able to come in and do a song to raise money. I don't think the actual song is that important? It's not, you know, it's not like the Beatles or anything like that. It's just a song to raise awareness and and raise money for a cause. And, you know, it did what it was supposed to do. So, no, he was, he was one of a kind, and I think he was very, you know, he came from, I think, a poor background and didn't have a great upbringing, but, you know, somehow he persevered, and he's like, one of the most famous people in the world, you know. So, yeah, yeah. Well, God, rest in peace. God bless you, Quincy, and thank you for your contributions to music and society as a whole. You will be missed for sure, for sure. So I was out last weekend before a friend's birthday. There was a group of people out for her birthday, and one of her friends is kind of a new, newish friend to me. We were talking, and somehow the point or the topic of age was brought up. I mean, was this a guy or this is a guy. This is a guy. I don't know why age is always seeming to me to be brought up in in social conversations, but whatever. So somebody point out the fact that this gentleman was older than me. Now normally, let me preface that. Let me pray. Was that normally, normally, and what the people that I hang out with, and I hang out with a lot of college buddies that are my age, but you know, on occasion, I hang out with people slightly younger than me, still in the midlife demographic, but they're a little bit younger than me. So this was a mixed group. It was a mixed group of ages, okay, well, yeah, so I would say 4042 and above. Okay, okay, so I thought this gentleman was, was the age of around the age of the birthday girl? Okay, who was how old? 4243 something like that. So anyway, it was brought up his age. And I was like, I mean, man, how old are you? I was like, I'm 56 I was like, Wow. I was really startled that he was 56 he does not look 56 and a little part of me was, uh, how far did he look? I say 40s, 40s, mid 40s. Yeah, okay, a part of me was was celebrating because I wasn't the oldest guy in the in the in the group. So I was like, yes, but anyway, you felt like he looked younger than you, right? I didn't say he looked younger than me. I just said he didn't look 56 right? Okay. So I said, Wow, man, 56 That's crazy. That's like, You're older than me. I had to put that out there, you're older than me. He's like, how old are you? I was like, I'm 55 I said, I never would have guessed save, you know, kind of like we're doing, like this spider man meme, like pointing at each other. And I was like, yeah, so how do you do it? He's like, Well, it's a combination thing, you know, obviously I exercise, and he looked fit, and he said, You know, I take all these supplements. And we talked about it. We talked about before, on a prior podcast, found out he takes a lot more supplements than I do stuff I had never even heard of. He might be an interesting guest for the show. One day, I was gonna say, we need to invite him. Yeah, 100% but he also said he does Botox. Oh, and I was like, Wow. I've never, you know, I obviously, I men can be Botox, yeah, but I've never witnessed a man who said he does Botox, right, who openly admits, openly admits it, yeah? And I thought that never met anybody. No, okay, yeah, no, well, this is my first, yeah, so I was thinking, wow, that's, that's really cool, that he a does Botox, and B, he's, you know, willing, willingly admitting that he does Botox. Where was it? Just on this, like, you know, I think he's dyes and yeah, eyes and forehead, something like that. I'm not privy you didn't dig into it. Yeah, bro, but I thought that was so cool, and it made me think, like other midlife marauders getting Botox. Or do we find that cool that men are doing Botox? What are your thoughts on that? I mean, I am. I feel like whatever you want to do, as long as not hurting other people. Go for it, right? You know. I mean, you definitely see people with Botox. You're like, ooh, we know that person got Botox is super obvious, you know, so and it'll often it doesn't look good, but if it looks natural and he you can't really tell, then, you know. And if it makes them happy, that's great. Well, here's the thing, though, Max, it's funny that you say that I think men are a little bit different than women in this perspective, you say it's it's not you can tell normally, when a let's just say when a woman does, if it goes too far their lips. Yeah, okay, yeah, fillers and fillers and stuff like that. I can tell. That's why we need detail from him. We do get him on the show. But for men, I don't really analyze men's faces. Okay, after you found out he had Botox. Well, no, not from a lack of trying, though, okay, which I felt a little awkward. The place was dimly lit. Okay? It was dimly lit. So me trying to analyze his face would have looked peculiar because, you know, I'm staring this man down in a dimly lit, dimly lit restaurant, but he said, you know he's done it before. You know, he says he does a lot of stuff that he feels like he maybe doesn't need to do it regularly. Okay? I was able to kind. To glance at his forehead and around his eyes without staring too deeply in his eyes, just kind of glancing looks. But I did notice that he did not have, at least from what I could see, forehead wrinkles, and he did not have what was it called, crows eyes, feet around his his eyes. Now I, I'm not gonna lie to you, I have entertained the thought of getting Botox recently, or what I would say within the last three years, I would say, Okay, I don't think I need it, not. I'm pretty sure my friends would would say the same. But I do notice that my forehead is has, you know, wrinkles. You know, I'm 55 years old, obviously, yeah, but I don't have a problem with around my eyes or anything like that. I think I'm Gucci and that concern, but my forehead could be a little more tighter, so to speak. Okay, so it kind of brought up these thoughts of, well, maybe you should just try Botox, because a lot of women that I know yes, just to say, yes, a lot of women that I know, that I you know, that are my friends, and that are of our midlife years. They do, they do go in for Botox. They do, do look fillers. They do, can they talk about it? They tell you about it, and that's how you know, or you just, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will. Sometimes I ask, but you know, if it's obviously noticeable, but do you do you think it's cool, like, well, obviously you just said, yes, that men are doing this. Is it becoming more acceptable in society? You feel that that men are doing this? I think so. I mean, I think if somebody wants to look better and they think it's going to make you look better, I think that's a personal choice, right? But I do love the openness of you know that we that we're having now in society. Of, we're comfortable kind of telling the world, you know what we do. Which leads me to my next subject, of, I am seeing more and more ads of sexual enhancement drugs for men, erectile dysfunction drugs, okay, yes, like Viagra, Viagra Cialis, you know. And there's a huge market for that, but that was always kind of like, you know, low key, not not so much taboo, but you kind of just wanted to keep that quiet. But I really kind of a joke, like people didn't want to talk about it, yeah, I mean, it's not a joke if you needed, yeah, people wouldn't joke around about Viagra, for sure, but I did see an ad the other day where it was a man and a woman, and this is the first time I've seen this type of ad where, you know, they were partners and sexual partners, and he was openly telling her that I am going to take this drug for an enhancement, and he didn't have to hide it. He's saying, hey, it's gonna take 15 minutes and we're gonna get this thing cracking. And she and she was all four. She's like, Yeah, so it didn't ruin the moment. No, it didn't ruin the moment. And that's, that's and I'm gonna be honest to the world. I have taken, taking, taken, taken these drugs before. Now, full disclosure, I do not have an ED problem. I took it out of curiosity, and then if I've ever, and if I've taken it again, I've taken it as kind of a boost. So to say so, okay, I have a lot of questions like, who this person was, anyhow, yeah, go ahead. Okay, so first impressions, right? First impressions are the you know you in full disclosure, if not all the time, but if I'm intimate with a person for the first time, right, I'm more likely to take something just so I ensure that I'm at my best. Oh, that's interesting. You understand what I'm saying. It's like, are you carrying a pill around with you when you just plan it? You know, it's kind of like a condom or something. Like you have it on your person, like, you know, you got your little your kit. I. I may. I don't. I wouldn't say I carried it around, but it's, it's I know where to reach it, if, particularly if I'm at home, or if I know it's going to be, quote, unquote a road game, I will probably equip that in the car, or something of that nature. But that's, again, that's first impression. So you want to come out, you know when you want to come out swinging, you know you want to hit a grand slam in your first at bat. You know you don't want to whiff. Pun intended. And so you've done this once or a lot of times, like, like, what's like? Are you happy that you've tried this? I've done enough. It's kind of risky, right, for a first date or a first person first time. No, it's not, no, not a first date. I mean, it's not like that. It's something where I've, you know, we've gone out on date. You know, you could tell when it's, it's a natural progression of things. You know, we're, we're going to be romantic, right? But you've never, but it's the first time that you guys are, yeah, yeah, the first time and again. It's just been, like, maybe a handful of times, and not with every person that I've been with is just, you know, this is something to try, you know, maybe, maybe with the results. You're happy the way things will go. Yes, for sure, for sure. Maybe, maybe I wasn't feeling great. Or maybe, you know, I had a, you know, physically, or, you know, whatever, you know, you can't keep pushing these, you know, opportunities to the side. You got to strike when the iron is high. So if I felt like a certain way, like, man, maybe, okay, I'll do this, this one time, or whatever. It's not that big of a deal. And any partners that I've had, it's not like I pop one every single time. You know what? I mean. It's just, you know, so, one off, yeah. So anyway, back to my original point. I just think it's so cool now that we are open and having dialogs men and women about about this. Because okay, but here's my question, they're saying that. But so before you took it, or when you were did you have this dialog? No, see, it's different from the commercial, right? That commercial is kind of unrealistic, but here's a date, here's the difference, here's the difference. Max, these two people that I saw in this commercial, they were in a relationship. Okay, yeah, so they talk about that's why they talk about it. The the handful of times I've done it, we had not talked or set up, or we weren't set up in a relationship, this is like a first romantic encounter now that might have led to a relationship later. And if that were the case, I would have had that conversation about about, hey, sometimes, you know, you know, I'm not feeling my greatest I might take something to get it popping a little bit, you know, I'm saying right? So you're not setting up the expectation that it's always going to be. When you put it like that, maybe I am setting up a false expectation. But it's not that. It's not trying. I'm not trying to blow their mind. So to speak, I'm just want to make sure that you know, I'm good to go, that I'm I'm, you know, that I'm going to be close to my my peak, so to speak, just so it's not a, you know, it's not a letdown for all parties involved. Not saying it would be with the choices you've made, and you would discuss it with your partner, yes, if you were, if you stayed with them, yes, if that's what you think is cool, because it's no longer a stick. There's no stigma. It's not taboo to talk about it. Well, yes. And I think, you know, obviously, as as you know, we're in our midlife years, you know, both sides, both genders, could have issues sexually. Yeah, I Yeah, right. And I think that it's, I think that that, that that veil has been lifted. Like, hey, let's not, let's not be frustrated, you know, let's talk about it. You know, as a midlife man, I may not be 100% like, you know, when I was in my 20s or 30s, you know, I mean, but I'm, yeah, I agree. You understand what I'm saying better now, yeah, and be more open. We can be more open. We can talk about it like, hey, you know, I want to do this, you know, I'm excited, but physically, I might not be responding the way I used to. Or, you know, maybe this one time, or whatever that we can say, hey, you know what? I. I'm gonna do something to to enhance this, to make it more pleasurable for for both parties. And I think that's so cool now that we don't have to live in the shadows. We don't, you know, we don't, you know, it's particularly in a relationship that men don't have to, like, you know, try to hide it and delay, oh, I can't do anything for 20 minutes. You know? You know, let it sit. You know, you know what I mean, unless it's cold and then, oh, it kicks in like, Oh, I'm ready now. You know what I mean. Thanks for joining us for this episode of midlife marauders. Follow us on social media and wherever you stream your podcast. We also want to give a big shout out to Frank Moyn at Moines music for providing the beats for our theme music and to our listeners, keep on marauding and see you next time you