Okay, But Why Is No-Fault Divorce At Risk?

You may have seen headlines recently about extremists going after no-fault divorce. “Yeah, okay, I’ve seen those stories,” your friends might say, “but… why would they do that?” The answer, of course, is simple: it’s about controlling women.

Critics of no-fault divorce, like JD Vance, claim that it’s bad for couples and especially bad for kids. But the data just doesn’t bear that out. The really important thing to know is that no-fault divorce protects women. There was a 15% decrease in female suicides in states that passed no-fault divorce laws and a 30% decrease in domestic violence. Each one of those statistics is a real story — and you can hear some of them in this week’s episode.

A few years ago, an end to no-fault divorce seemed unlikely. But after the end of Roe v Wade, of course this is the next legal right to land on the chopping block. So far, bills to overturn no-fault divorce have been unsuccessful, even in states where they’ve been proposed like Texas and Oklahoma. But extremists aren’t going to stop their attack on women and it’s up to us to keep talking about it.

Transcript

Okay, But Why Is No-Fault Divorce At Risk?

CLIP: JD Vance: “This is one of the great tricks that I think the sexual revolution pulled on the American populace, which is this idea that like, well, OK, these marriages were fundamentally — you know, they were maybe even violent, but certainly they were unhappy. And so getting rid of them, and making it easier for people to shift spouses like they change their underwear, that’s going to make people happier in the long term. 

And maybe it worked out for the moms and dads, though I’m skeptical. But it really didn’t work out for the kids of those marriages. And I think that’s what all of us should be honest about. We’ve run this experiment in real time and what we have is a lot of very, very real family dysfunction that’s making our kids unhappy.”

Narrator: These remarks, delivered by JD Vance in 2021, sound extreme. Women should stay in violent marriages? People are changing spouses like they’re changing their “underwear”?

Even though he is the Vice President, it’s tempting to dismiss Vance’s comments as his own personal baggage. He was raised by his grandparents, who had a history of violently abusing each other. At one point, his grandma doused his grandpa in gasoline and lit him on fire. One might wonder why this didn’t inspire JD to support the right to divorce, but hey, we all deal with trauma differently.

Unfortunately, he’s not alone. Extremists across the country, including many in the Trump administration, are pushing for an end to no-fault divorce. The idea is growing in popularity with conservative Christian leaders, men's rights groups, and rightwing influencers. Republicans in states like Texas and South Dakota have already proposed legislation that takes away the right to divorce for “irreconcilable differences.”

Losing the right to no-fault divorce seems radical, but after the fall of Roe v Wade, who knows what rights they’ll take from us next? So why is this a growing movement? And how concerned should we really be?

“No-fault divorce” just means that neither spouse has to prove that the other did something specific to cause the breakup. Before that, you had to legally prove that your spouse had committed some wrong-doing, like cheating or abuse. But both of those are notoriously hard to prove in court, which means that a husband could just deny it and his wife couldn’t get a divorce. Or if both spouses wanted out, but they didn’t have a legally valid reason, they’d have to lie and invent evidence. So people had to commit the crime of perjury to end their marriage, even if both of them wanted a divorce. 

Now, with no-fault divorce, every couple has the right to decide if they want to stay married or not - you know, like adults. Currently, all 50 states offer a no-fault divorce option, although the exact wording differs from state to state.

So let’s take a look at some of the arguments against no-fault divorce. The first criticism is that it’s led to an increase in divorce rates. 

In 1969, California was the first state to enact a no-fault divorce law, which was signed by then-Governor Ronald Reagan. Other states passed similar laws over the next couple of decades, and it’s true that in that time, divorce rates did rise. They reached their peak in 1985 at 5 divorces per 1,000 people. But before no-fault divorce, how many couples were separated but unable to legally divorce?
And in fact, divorce rates have continued to go down over the past 30 years. In 2022, the most recent year we have data for, the divorce rate had fallen to 2.4 per 1,000 people - around half of what it was in the 80s. At the very least, we can say that no-fault laws aren’t only to blame for a rising divorce rate, since divorce rates are no longer rising.

But you know what’s really important? There was a 15% decrease in female suicides in states that passed no-fault divorce laws. Researchers also saw a 30% decrease in domestic violence and a 10% drop in women murdered by their partners. We asked Red Wine & Blue members in our Facebook group SWEEP to share their personal stories about how important no-fault divorce was for them, and many said it saved their life. 

One woman said, “No fault divorce saved my son and me. I had the receipts. I had digital, physical, and financial proof of the abuse we had endured. We live in a small town and he had been a pastor, and he wanted to protect his squeaky clean image. He would’ve denied everything in court. Because of no-fault, I was able to negotiate alimony which helped us bridge through the early years of me trying to stay above water and raise our autistic kiddo by myself.”

Another said, “I had proof that my husband was cheating - lots of text messages, messages from online dating sites between him and other women, and video footage of these ladies coming into our house, but according to Virginia state law at the time, it wasn’t enough to prove adultery. I could have still filed based on adultery, but according to 3 attorneys, it could take 3 years for everything to be final. By filing no fault, I was able to get it done in a year.”

And another woman said “I got a divorce in 1986 and there were no “no fault” divorce laws in Mississippi. It was crazy. Without going to trial with lots of evidence of infidelity, major physical abuse, or desertion, it was impossible to get a divorce. He could have just refused to sign an agreement to divorce me. My lawyer told me I could fight it - go to trial, paying for it all myself, and still walk away with no divorce. We must not go back!”

So we know that no-fault divorce laws are good for women. What about kids? As divorce rates rose in the 80s and 90s, Americans became convinced that divorce is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a kid. But most studies show that actually, children of divorced parents have similar success rates and mental health as those of married parents. The main study that established this “but think of the children!” narrative, done by psychologist Judith Wallerstein in the 70s and 80s, has been widely criticized for its small sample size and the fact that the study only followed families who were already seeking therapy for their kids.

Most studies show that it’s the conflict between parents, regardless of whether they actually get divorced, that’s damaging to kids. But it’s so hard to definitely prove these things one way or the other. How do you assign a number to a kid’s happiness, or success, in order to compare them against other kids? And how much of a factor is financial stability? If we had better social systems to support families, how might these statistics change?

At the end of the day, shouldn’t we let parents decide what’s best for their kids? We know our kids best. We don’t need JD Vance to tell us how to be married or how to parent any more than we need him in our doctor’s office telling us what we can do with our bodies. 

So if it’s not clearly better for kids or for couples, why are extremist politicians pushing for an end to no-fault divorce?

It’s really not that complicated - it’s about control. It’s no surprise that many of the right-wing pundits who are out there bemoaning no-fault divorce have also been accused of domestic violence, like Steven Crowder. The majority of divorces, around 70%, are initiated by women. So what these men want to do is… keep women from leaving. After taking away our right to reproductive healthcare, of course the next thing on the docket is our right to divorce.

And, like abortion, this is likely to play out state by state – with women in red states having fewer rights than those in blue states. And the similarities go on. “Divorce tourism” will rise as people are forced to travel to other states to dissolve their marriage, and women who can’t afford to travel, have limited mobility, or are being abused or controlled will pay the price. This is just another way that right-wing extremists are trying to take us back to a time when women deferred to their husbands and did what they were told.

So far, bills to overturn no-fault divorce have been unsuccessful, even in states where they’ve been proposed like Texas. But as Marcia Zug, a family law professor in South Carolina, said, “a few years ago, before the fall of Roe v Wade, an end to no-fault divorce wasn't even on the table. Now, it's on the table. It's on the edge, but it's on the table.”

So talk to your state representatives. Look up if there are any of these bills proposed in your state and if there are, make sure your elected leaders know how you feel. Make sure your friends know too - many women were blindsided by the fall of Roe v Wade, and we can’t let that happen again. Nobody out here is skipping thoughtlessly into a divorce or an abortion. They’re decisions made with serious, deep consideration. All we want is the right to make those incredibly personal choices for ourselves.





Sources

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-08-09/jd-vance-orange-county-high-school-pacifica-divorce-marriages-dave-min-scott-baugh

https://www.salon.com/2024/11/04/i-am-scared-every-day-experts-say-men-targeting-no-fault-divorce-to-keep-women-trapped/

https://ifstudies.org/blog/why-men-resist-marriage-even-though-they-benefit-the-most-from-it/

https://now.org/blog/threats-to-no-fault-divorce-and-its-implications-for-violence-against-women/#:~:text=Although%20divorce%20rates%20generally%20increased,prolonged%20and%20burdensome%20legal%20process.

https://robslink.com/SAS/democd80/us_divorce_and_marriage.htm

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/marriage-divorce/national-marriage-divorce-rates-00-22.pdf

https://slate.com/technology/2022/07/divorce-bad-for-kids-history.html

https://parentdata.org/divorce-stay-together-kids/