Picture this: You're 8 years old going through a trauma that will change the course of your life forever. And, one day when you're older, you write a letter to your younger self, detailing all the highs and lows that come your way. This is the poignant narrative of our guest, Latonya Perossier, author of 'A Letter to the Eight-Year-Old Me.' Through her deeply personal story, Latonya offers us a profound exploration of healing, forgiveness, and self-love. Join us as we dismantle societal norms about discussing trauma and understand how setting boundaries is crucial to maintaining inner peace.
As we dig deeper into Latonya's journey, we unravel the complexities of forgiveness. It's not just about forgiving others but also about forgiving oneself, especially when guilt and blame have been internalized. We discuss her struggle to forgive her abuser and her own inner child. Moreover, we get into the thick of things around the oft-ignored concept that 'hurt people, hurt people.' Our conversation uncovers how empathy and understanding can be key components on the path to forgiveness and healing.
We then switch gears to discuss the transformative power of self-love in overcoming trauma. Can the journey to self-love empower us to reject toxic relationships? Can self-compassion be the antidote to childhood trauma? Latonya offers her insights based on her own experiences. We also delve into how her story, expressed through her book, has offered comfort and hope to countless others. As we close, we're left with the powerful reminder that our journeys are our own, and it's the courage to face our past that ultimately paves the way for a brighter future. Be prepared to have your perspectives challenged and your heartstrings tugged in this eye-opening episode.
Picture this: You're 8 years old going through a trauma that will change the course of your life forever. And, one day when you're older, you write a letter to your younger self, detailing all the highs and lows that come your way. This is the poignant narrative of our guest, Latonya Perossier, author of 'A Letter to the Eight-Year-Old Me.' Through her deeply personal story, Latonya offers us a profound exploration of healing, forgiveness, and self-love. Join us as we dismantle societal norms about discussing trauma and understand how setting boundaries is crucial to maintaining inner peace.
As we dig deeper into Latonya's journey, we unravel the complexities of forgiveness. It's not just about forgiving others but also about forgiving oneself, especially when guilt and blame have been internalized. We discuss her struggle to forgive her abuser and her own inner child. Moreover, we get into the thick of things around the oft-ignored concept that 'hurt people, hurt people.' Our conversation uncovers how empathy and understanding can be key components on the path to forgiveness and healing.
We then switch gears to discuss the transformative power of self-love in overcoming trauma. Can the journey to self-love empower us to reject toxic relationships? Can self-compassion be the antidote to childhood trauma? Latonya offers her insights based on her own experiences. We also delve into how her story, expressed through her book, has offered comfort and hope to countless others. As we close, we're left with the powerful reminder that our journeys are our own, and it's the courage to face our past that ultimately paves the way for a brighter future. Be prepared to have your perspectives challenged and your heartstrings tugged in this eye-opening episode.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this edition of listen. Linda. I have a treat for you guys today and that treat is the one the only miss. Let's talk about the Tanya Perotia herself. She has an amazing book. You guys called the letter to the eight year old me and before we get started, I just want to say we are truly honored to have miss Latanya Perotia as our special guest today. Her journey of healing and self discovery through her book has touched the hearts of many, especially me, and I am so privileged to have her here to share her insights and her experiences.
Speaker 1:So how are you doing today, miss Latanya? And give us a little bit more about yourself. I'm doing great. I am a Navy veteran. I've been in the Navy now about 31 years. I'm actually retiring next year. I'm a Navy chief.
Speaker 1:I grew up in Louisiana, partial Louisiana, partial Texas and you know, growing up with the things that I grew up under, you just never know. You know, you just never know when you see people what their journey looks like. So I always say you know, I try to give everybody a little bit of grace, you know, just because you just never know. Amen to grace, amen to grace. And before we get started with the questions. I do want to start the show, like I start every show, with just a little prayer Okay, okay. So, dear Father, god, we gather here today in gratitude for the opportunity to engage in this conversation with Latanya Peralty about her book and her journey of healing and reflection, and I ask for your presence and guidance throughout this interview, father, that it may be filled with understanding, compassion and enlightenment. May Latanya's words and experiences resonate with those who listen, offering comfort, hope and inspiration. Father, god Bless this time together and may it be a stepping stone towards healing for all who are touched by her story. In your name, in your power of the universe, spirit divine, through the Father, son and the Holy Spirit, we ask and trust in your name, jesus, amen, amen, amen. So, latanya, you know me, I'm just going to jump right into it. I know. So what inspired you to write letter to the eight year old me and can you share a bit about your journey of self reflection and healing? Latanya, I can't hear you, so maybe you need to move to a different room because I can't hear you. Try it, if you can hear me, latanya. Try logging out and then logging back in and see if that works, and I'm going to play a song while we wait. Okay, try it again. Am I hearing back? Oh, you're back. You're back. Good, so I don't have to play a song. Do you want me to repeat the question? No, not at all. Okay, so what inspired me to write this book?
Speaker 1:I had a really close friend of mine and she was coming to visit and I was living in Florida at the time and she was like, hey, I'm going to come to visit because there's some things I got I want to talk to you about and I want to really get to know you, because you've been saying some things that I don't understand and I just want to get to know who you are as a person. So we took a little mini vacation and we went out. I had a free stay at a hotel and so we used it. We went out to Cocoa Beach and we sat down and we talked, and after a lot of tears and just a lot of conversation that I had never really had with anybody, she said you know what you need to write that little girl a letter, and I thought, hmm, okay, let's, because I needed that, I needed that healing. I wasn't, you know, I never realized how far I had come in life and I wasn't healed. And I said, okay, let's, let's see what this looks like. And so we went our separate ways and I started to write and then I sent it to her and I said what do you think? And she said Keep writing. I'm a realist. And I was like Listen, we friends, you don't have to tell me this is good If it's not, because what I don't want to do is write something that's not going to get across what I needed to get across. And she said no, no, no, please keep writing. She was the only person I allowed to read this book, the entire book.
Speaker 1:While I was writing, I didn't tell my family I was even writing the book, and because I really didn't know what my sickness was and I didn't want them to stop me from healing my sickness, because you, as you know, families, especially black families, we don't like to talk about that. Oh, no, no, no, we can't talk about that. That was the past, Please don't talk about that. And I didn't want anything that was going to because soon as someone would have said, hey, you shouldn't talk about that, it would have made me pull back and I would not have been as honest as I was in the book. So I just wrote it for my healing and I honestly wasn't thinking about anybody else.
Speaker 1:But the most wonderful thing happened. You know, people were reading it and they were sending me letters saying, you know, after reading your book, you've helped me start to heal, and that was so phenomenal that you know you never know what your calling is and whether you help one or two or 200. You know that's what it's all about. It's what it is and and to be able to, you know, write that love letter to yourself and be able to really, truly reflect on the things that we have gone through in life, just like this next artist that I'm going to play. We just have to remember and think about our reflections, right?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, we forget, I remember, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 4:Back for the record deal and the calls and the cribs and the way that things took off. I was singing that Lucy's on 125th, just trying my best to get on Back when me and Puffin B was kids and I knew Joda C. I was young and tough and fresh and loving. It was all a dream, signed of the contract, no guiding light, just hoping I can get off the project and give my family ride. Cause they brought my life and I read some books and I felt these hoes and catch me hoes from the duty. I was jaded on the block. I'd be faded on the block. I'd be made off the block tonight.
Speaker 4:I remember back when I didn't know which way to go. I remember back when things was all I had to give the reflections of my life. I see the lessons that I've learned and now I know Heartbreak don't exist when it's been torn apart by love. I used to throw a fit. I used to shed it down and blame it on me, but that was married then and this is married now. You gotta understand. It's about how we respect ourselves and the men have no control, have our soul for steaming when we see death and we can't let go.
Speaker 4:I remember back when I didn't know which way to go. I remember back when things was all I had to give the reflections of my life. I see the lessons that I've learned and now I know Heartbreak don't exist when it's been torn apart by love. Now I've made some mistakes. I lost some friends along the way, but I don't carry it because it's made me a better chance. It's my life and I know that there's more for me. So I'm a fool. I may not be what I'm supposed to, but I can tell you right now I used to be. I remember when I didn't know which way to go.
Speaker 3:I remember, I remember when tables all I had to give the reflections of my life. I see the lessons that I've learned and now I know Heartbreak don't exist when it's been torn apart by love. I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember. I remember the reflections of my life. I see the lessons that I've learned and now I know Heartbreak don't exist when it's been torn apart by love. I remember, by love.
Speaker 4:We don't exist no more. I remember, but I remember.
Speaker 3:I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 1:I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember reflections by Mary J Blige Latanya. Tell me what you think about that song and how does that song resonate into you and what you've been through.
Speaker 1:You know I was listening to that song I've never heard it before, but it is a.
Speaker 1:She is right. You look back on all the things that have developed you and created this person that you see before you, and the sad part is when people come into your lives and they teach you things that you shouldn't know as a young girl. What they don't understand is that they teach you how to think what love is. Excuse me, you don't really. As a young girl, as a young eight year old, you don't really understand love. You understand the concept of it because you know you love your parents, you love your brothers and sisters, but when someone introduces you to another part of what love is, they teach you that that's how you show love and that's not how you show love. Love is a fast way of life, and when you learn a horrible way to show love as an eight year old, they're creating you this thing that you should not have ever known Until you became an adult and could really understand what love looks like and what it really is supposed to feel like. So that song really makes you just what makes me reflect on my past and how that part of me developed a woman that I was until I could realize the woman I needed to be. Amen, amen, and we're going to elaborate more on that.
Speaker 1:Could you elaborate on the obstacles that you mentioned in your book? How did they impact your childhood and how did you overcome them? So you know, as an eight year old I started being molested, and it started out with strangers, and then it became people that I knew and in my mind I was thinking you know, what did I as an eight year old do to make myself attractive to an adult? And even at eight, I don't know if I knew it was wrong, because I can't really because as an adult, you kind of reflect and make things how you think they should be as an adult, but as a kid I'm sure I did not understand what was happening. And to have an adult find me attractive enough that they wanted to touch me, I think it makes you wonder. Like, what in life do people? Where do they go in life?
Speaker 1:And, as someone said something so profound to me one day, and they said you know, hurt people, hurt people, and I feel for them. I feel for that person that hurt me, but I also hate them because they created in me something that I should have never known about. But I understand it and I understand that sometimes people don't know how to break curses. They don't know how to break things that they know are wrong because it's in them and they I don't know if they feel they have to repeat it or it just creates a monster inside of them that they don't even know really exist and they don't really understand that they are a monster. That's the hard part is making sure that I never became that monster, making sure that I never did anything to hurt someone because someone hurt me. And talking about it, go ahead, go ahead. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, go ahead, go ahead. Sweetheart, I'm not stopping you and talking about it.
Speaker 1:I felt like you know, a lot of it just were memories as I was typing, were memories that were just coming back and it was flooding back and I had to literally take six months off of writing because I was crying so much that I was just broken hearted, because I started to remember all those things that I had kind of pushed down like a trash compactor and just kind of pushed it down and was living this life that I didn't even know. I was living in reflection, right, because now, reflecting back, I'm thinking, dang. You know, when I started to write, it opened up all those things that I had just pressed down and was like I don't want to remember that. That's horrible, I should never even know anything about that. So let me press it away and, opening up myself to trying to figure out and heal myself, I opened up the floodgates of all these horrible memories and when I tell you it is a hard, hard thing to go back to, especially as an adult, you start thinking back to those moments and those times and you just think how horrible was that?
Speaker 1:But you know what I think? I think God to protect us. He makes us, I understand. I don't even understand how he does it, but he makes it not so bad for us, for our brain, so that we can. You know, you know you can take it in and it's not so bad that you just you combust. You want to know why? Because he takes you and he holds you right. He takes you to this place where it's like, it's like a secret place, and I'm going to go ahead and play this next song and if you haven't been tuned in to my show, you should have. But this one is going to hold you, okay, and it's going to. It's going to bring you peace, and that way you got to trust me. This is not going to be one of those interviews. You're going to get through this interview and you're going to get through it with a smile and not a frown, okay, so listen to this one and just let it resonate in your spirit. Okay, oh.
Speaker 4:Oh.
Speaker 3:Oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh. Oh. Oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh.
Speaker 1:Tell me what you thought about that. Tell me. Oh, I love that. That song is everything, everything, because he, she's right, that's the only way I could have gotten drunk through it.
Speaker 1:You know, I write a little bit about when I was a teenager, how I attempted to take my life, and it's, it's crazy, as I told you, when I started writing this book and I started reflecting and it just it made sense that God was holding me, because at the I was I think I was maybe seven, between 14 and 17, don't even remember the age, but I attempted to take my life and I had forgotten about that, I had totally forgot that. I attempted to take myself out of this world because I was hurting so bad, not knowing where the pain was coming from, not realizing where the pain was coming from, and dealing with that. How did you find the courage and the strength to confront your past and share your stories with others? I'm still dealing with it. I wrote some pretty rough things in that book, some pretty sad things, some pretty hard things, some real hard conversations, and I don't even think my brother completed reading the book because I think it was too hard for him to read.
Speaker 1:And and and still to this day, when I'm talking to someone that I know, like personally know, and they say, hey, I bought your book, a little part of me kind of cringes, kind of a little bit just goes ooh, you know, now they're about to know who I am, now they're about to know the real pieces of me. And that's scary, that's a even though, you know, getting it out felt great Because now there's no secrets. I don't have any secrets. But when I tell you, having that out there and knowing that people are going to read, it is scary. It's scary because when someone reads it that doesn't know me Okay, they don't know me. But when someone that's in your life or circle.
Speaker 1:They read it. You know they're about to read a part of you that's so heartbreaking and so hurt and so vulnerable that it's a scary moment. Yeah, because you know when you are dealing with what you're dealing with you, you you get this. You know everybody goes through things in life, right, we all have a story to tell. And when you're at your most vulnerable, you know like you see it, you know they're, they're they're looking into your life and they're they're getting to see you and everything that's inside of you and what you've been through, especially dealing with childhood trauma, right, but at the end of the day, you know, like you say, you never know somebody until you know somebody, and when you do, then you will realize that they just like you, correct?
Speaker 3:I'm on the move. I don't want to lose. What I can to prove is everything I expect myself to be. I'm going to do everything I said. I'm through making my dreams come true. It means so much to me.
Speaker 3:You can never understand how I feel when I'm searching for the words to say and I don't want to be nobody else. Take the time and get to know me the real me, and you will see. I'm just like you. I'm trying to take my time and get to know me. I'm just like you, trying to live my life and take care of my. I'm just like you. You, I'm trying to be happy. I'm just like you. I want to be the one who you can be.
Speaker 3:And when it feels so bad, no, I can't handle it, cause I've been through so much, oh, it's so much to overcome. I had to look inside of me. It's the judge who's inside of me and know who I need was me. Oh, it took so much for me Just to see. It's all in me. You can never understand how I feel when I'm searching for the words to say and I don't want to be nobody else. Try to take the time and get to know me the real me and you will see, I'm just like you. I'm trying to take my time and get to know me. I'm just like you. I'm trying to live my life and take care of my. I'm just like you. You, I'm trying to be happy. I'm just like you, you know. Bless me the Lord, my strength, which teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight, do it all.
Speaker 1:He's protected me along the way and I want to thank you, cause without you, I'm nothing.
Speaker 3:I'm just like you. I know it gets a little hard, but he will take care of you. Trust in the living habit and if you, oh, look in the mirror, look in the mirror, what do you see?
Speaker 5:Oh, look in the mirror. Look in the mirror. What do you see? It's some Michael production. Look me in my eyes and try to feel my pain. Do you know how it feels to be left out in the rain?
Speaker 3:Every day there's someone judging me, worried about my life and how I live in these streets. Every day I wake up got a hundred different haters trying to get this pain, but stacks look like elevators, but no one really wants to hear my story. That's why I'm all alone. There's no one here for me. Do you know how it feels to be left out in the rain? Each and every day there's someone judging me, worried about my life and how I live in these streets. Look me in my eyes and try to feel my pain. Do you know how it feels to be left out in the rain? Each and every day, there's someone judging me, worried about my life and how I live in these streets. I got no place to go. I'm living on the home and no one really knows I'm living on the home and no one really knows how I feel inside feelings I try to hide. My daddy don't know, my mama don't care. It don't matter if I'm here. It don't matter if I'm there. I know what I'm supposed to do in this cold cooler. Look me in my eyes and try to feel my pain.
Speaker 3:Do you know how it feels to be left out in the rain? Each and every day there's someone judging me, worried about my life and how I live in these streets. Look me in my eyes and try to feel my pain. Do you know how it feels to be left out in the rain? Each and every day there's someone judging me, worried about my life and how I live in these streets. Every day I wake up, got a hundred different haters trying to get this pain, but they slip like elevators. But no one really wants to hear my story. That's why I'm all alone. There's no one here for me.
Speaker 1:Elevator Story. Yes, and that was first. Keisha Cole would just like you. And right after that that was Mr Sean McGee with my story. And tell me Latanya. How does those songs resonate with you in your story? You know, because Keisha Cole said just like me.
Speaker 1:I'm floored by the amount of people who are just like me. I always tell people I hope that you cannot relate to my story. I pray that you cannot relate. But if you can relate I hope that it helps start your healing process because I tell it, I'm not an expert. I have no idea how this game is supposed to work, how you're supposed to heal yourself, because I'm not an expert. But I can tell you what I've done for me and it may not work for you, you may have to do something else. But if you read and it just kind of makes you kind of reflect on your life and where you are, then I think that's a beginner's point to starting your healing process.
Speaker 1:And that Sean story, he's right. You know people don't really care. They don't care, they're moving. People are just moving parts sometimes and they're just moving through life, just trying to be a part of it, and they don't really are not really concerned about the person. You know that they're, they're looking right at, they're not really concerned. You're just the moving part and that's what he said.
Speaker 1:He said my mama don't know and my daddy don't care, it don't matter if I'm here, it don't matter if I'm there. You know your mama don't know because you don't want to tell her what you've been through and your daddy don't care because he never really been there. And that's not everybody's bad. Like the situation was reversed for me, right, because I've been through some things that you've been through and for me, you know we stay with my dad's mom. Before I went back into care and my dad was there and some things was going on and you know molestation and stuff in the home with you know my uncles and cousins and different things like that. And you know we was always told well, go on this house, stay on it, stay in this house. Yeah, and that's how it is in our community.
Speaker 1:And instead of and instead of chest has an, or going after the perpetrator, the victim, was villainized. So it was like, oh, you better not say this or say that about this person, but where is the? Why did you do this to her? Or why did you do this to him? Where's that to the? To the villain, they get away scoffery and it's like, oh, this person, you know he going through this, or he a drug addict, or or she going through this or she on this stuff. And it's like why, why are we pacifying what they're doing and saying don't speak on this or don't speak on that, and let's, let's just keep this in the family or keep this what go on in this house, stay in this house.
Speaker 1:Mentality and us growing up not understanding and not knowing. Now, when we get older, when we get up in age, we wonder why we fast, why we hanging out all night, why we take the wrong type of dudes. And it's because we have been mentally messed up and we, we, we, we are in denial. Right, because within our community, going to see a therapist or going to see a doctor and being diagnosed with a mental illness is like shunned upon. So we're so grateful for the generation that's coming up now, because these kids they can go, seek them some help and they can get you up out of their face If you mess with the piece. They have found the definition of manifestation and unbothered baby and they would get you out they face.
Speaker 1:They have taught us how to be unbothered, how to really dig deep into our piece and into our word to gain an understanding. And they have truly, like this generation, have really given a new sense to I'm maintaining my piece, not saying that it has not always been there, because people who are of Christ and and our of the word and this has been the word since the beginning of time. But these kids have really brought it to the forefront and said, no, I'm not accepting that. No, I ain't got to do that. No, I ain't got to take that because I'm maintaining my piece, I'm being unbothered, you ain't going to disturb what I got. Going on, bye, bye, see you later. And I'm like oh, I like this, let me try that.
Speaker 1:Baby, baby. And they mean it.
Speaker 1:They may, okay, who you will. And then the over, we family, man, man, man, look, family, better go somewhere. I'm a love you yes, because you're my family, and this in the word to love your family, love your wife, love your children, love and be loved and create love. But it don't say stay and be attacked either. It tells you to tell the enemy and that spirit to get the behind you. So it's not that and you still continue to walk in love. You can love everybody, but you never stay one where you're uncomfortable, unwanted, unappreciated and unvalued. You never stay. And I was just talking to my mother in law and she was telling me this, and so was sister Carolyn they're both on the line right now. My mother in law was telling me you never stay. What people don't value you. You never stay and cry. You never stay and cry.
Speaker 1:You, you stay if you can, if you can accept people for who they are and love them and say you know what? I'm going to meet you here and I'm going to help you get through this. I'm going to, I'm going to still speak the word over you and love you, but I'm going to be here and I can handle this without it disturbing my peace. By all means stay, or if you can't accept it, you do what you do. Latanya, you move on. You say no, you don't accept it, I'm out here. See you later, jack, holler at you and be gone. You never stay and cry and then be unbothered.
Speaker 1:Yes, you never stay in your own peace. It's so real. You cannot and you should not do that. When you do that before I get to the next question. When you do that you do like Miss Mary. You know she's not the the whole playlist, but I got another one from Miss Mary that I want to play and she teaches us not to cry.
Speaker 4:I would stop reading if you told me to now you're busy loving someone else.
Speaker 3:11 get off of my life.
Speaker 4:Besides the kids, I have nothing to show wasted my year off full of life.
Speaker 3:I should have left your ass long time ago. No, I'm not. I can't do it, working every day of the week when no one else was there. I am not. I'm not, I'm not. I know there are no guarantee. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Speaker 1:All right, little Tonya, I need you to tell me what you think about that one you know we talk about in my book. I talk about my past relationships because one of the things that happens when you go through traumas in your life is you make bad decisions on relationships.
Speaker 5:You just do.
Speaker 1:You just get your. You're trying to figure that out because there's so much that you learned as a young woman that you are testing out as an older woman and it doesn't work. And when I tell you, sometimes you just got to walk away and say you know what? This ain't working. Well, when you say a younger woman, when you say a younger woman, for the people who are just tuning in and you give a little bit more backstory on your story and what happened to you to cause the, the confliction of what real love looks like when you're an adult. Yeah, so I had so many and I write about the relationships that I have, but one of the ones that I that was probably one of the hardest was the one I was engaged in Thinking that I was in love, because I honestly was trying to figure out what love really looked like.
Speaker 1:And, and you know, when you're, you've had all these traumas and nobody's really teaching you the real, what real loves look like. You, you in these relationships, and I was in this relationship with this man who decided early on in the relationship that he was just not going to be faithful, just wasn't going to do it, and because you're, you're looking for someone to always be in your life. Because you, you were taught that love is shown by sex. Sex is love. And so you're trying to hold on to this person, but yet they're doing all these other things, everything else but loving you for real. And then one day you just realize you know what. This is not love, and I have to. I have to stop. I have to stop now, and when I once I ended that relationship, I had to stop. I had to sit back with myself and say, okay, what does real love look like? And I had to actually teach myself what it really looked like, what real love looked like. And I had to. I had to start loving myself. And the crazy part is I could look in the mirror at myself and I could tell you every bad thing that you think of about myself, from top to bottom. I could go over myself and tell you all the bad stuff. But when I tell you sitting back and actually making myself and I wrote it in the book making myself love me, making myself love my dark skin, making myself love everything about me, making myself love my hair, and it sounds silly.
Speaker 1:But once you start to love every aspect of you, from your head to the bottom of your feet. Nobody can come in and change that love for you. So nobody can come in and make you not love yourself or tell you something that's so detrimental to you that it makes you go back and revert to that person that didn't care about themselves, that didn't understand what love means. You love yourself enough where you can tell them no, no, brother, you've, you got the problem and you're going to have to step aside for somebody to come in that's going to love all this, what you see, that's wrong. Oh, there's got somebody. That's somebody out there that's going to love it. Amen. So you move along, amen. And with that being said, I'm going to get into this next song by Lettuce, called Pieces of Me. Let's go. This is my favorite song.
Speaker 3:People just don't know what I'm about. They haven't seen what's there behind my smile. There's so much more of me I'm showing out. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me. I'm not going to change the happiness I found Pieces of me.
Speaker 3:I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I'm a woman. You see through the wide to the heart of me. You break down my walls with the strength of your love. I never knew love like I've known it with you. Will a memory survive? Oh, and I can hold on to. I don't really need to look very much further. I don't want to have to go where you don't follow. I'll hold it back again. This passion is tight. I can't run from myself. There's nowhere to hide. You're the love I remember forever. But don't make me cry. I don't want to hurt anymore. Stay in my arms, if you dare. I must start imagining you there. Don't walk away from me. I have nothing, nothing, nothing. Don't make me cry. I don't want to hurt anymore. Stay in my arms, if you dare. I must start imagining you there. Don't walk away from me. Don't walk away from me. Don't walk away from me. I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, if I don't have you, yes, now, that was Ms Whitney Houston, with what is it?
Speaker 1:Well, which one was that? I have nothing. Y'all got to charge my head and not my heart. And Ms Latanya, really quick, what advice do you have for individuals who may be hesitant about opening up, you know, to others about their own experiences of childhood trauma and molestation and abuse? I can tell you this, I can tell you that, listen, it's going to be hard, it's going to be scary, there's going to be some times where you feel like people are going to blame you, judge you or none of that matters. The only thing I want you to think about is your healing and what that looks like for you, because at the end of the day, it is about what is going to save you.
Speaker 1:And always remember give yourself grace. I have to give myself grace every single day Because even now, where I am and I've written this book and I published it and it's out there I still am scared, I hurt, I feel the judgment, I feel the fear. But every day I wake up and I said you have grace. And I said understand what is going to go on about your life. If you keep giving yourself grace, I promise you it gets easier, you start to feel a lot better and you'll start wanting to tell someone this is what's happening and how do I go from here and where do I go from here. And that means being OK with getting counseling, being okay with saying this person hurt me or this person did that, and not having fear about it Once you start to see the other person. That's fine. Amen, amen. And before I get into any more questions, I want to play this next song. You do have another, maybe 30 minutes, right? Because after this I want to get into Q&A, so I just want to make sure okay, great, great.
Speaker 1:So I want to play this song and then, because this one actually really it touches home in so many ways and I just want to play this one. I played it earlier in the week but this one, for some reason, it just it still resonates with the topics at hand for this week, guys. So it's it's warning, it's triggering.
Speaker 3:Don't like me. Look at my reflection. Somewhere my affection disappeared. Isn't here? Nothing left to say? Memories, they fade in, but I'm the one who made them. So I keep the love close enough to say what if this is all that we are given? We just can't stop leaving, scared of what we'll see, cause in this world, anything can hurt you. But you then forget. You stole my history. But I remember me. I remember me. I remember me. It don't matter where I go, what I'm told now you know, I remember me. I remember me, even if I say goodbye. The stars will try to adapt. I remember me. I remember me. I tell you what my name is. It ain't nothing gonna change it. It's what you are. It's what you are, even if your memory's hard.
Speaker 3:I go to places, trying to find familiar places. They don't show, but I still know they don't have the look for me. I dream about, I dream about the place where all the broken pieces Play together, cause in this world, anything can hurt you. It'll push you then forget you. It stole my history, but I remember me. I remember me.
Speaker 3:It don't matter where I go, what I'm told now you know, I remember me. I remember me, even if I say goodbye, the stars will try to adapt. I remember me. No, all that's left are these hands, this breath. I'll say goodbye so many things. The tears won't cry and I picked this place, this joy and rain Cause. All that matters now is In this life, anything can hurt you, push you then forget. It raised your history, but I remember me, I remember me, don't matter where I go, what I'm told now you know, I remember me. I remember me. Yeah, Even if I say goodbye, the stars will try to adapt. I remember me. I remember me. Oh, oh, oh. I remember me and tell you where my name is. I tell you where my name is. Do what I do.
Speaker 1:And her name is Latanya Perosier. She has battled everything from childhood trauma, childhood sexual molestation and abuse, neglect, and she has grown to be one of the most powerful women that I have ever come across. You guys, not only is she an author, she is also a woman of God, a woman of faith. She's been in the military, she's a Navy vet. Am I correct? Yes, it'll be 32 years next year when I retire. 32 years, navy veteran, and not only that, but she is a beauty queen. They don't know that.
Speaker 1:So you know, I interviewed Latanya before when I was on another network and when she said she was a beauty queen, then she had somebody come up to her and this lady, she married into the family. This ain't a family, this is somebody that married into the family. Am I getting that correct? Because I would never forget this story and this lady, I'm married into the half of the nerve to marry into her family and come and tell her ooh, you look so beautiful Girl, because when you was a girl, a little girl used to be ugly. Oh, oh, man, she did, she did. She said that to my face and, like I told you, what she didn't know was I was about 29 years old when she said that to me and what she didn't know at that time. I was struggling. I was struggling with that ugly little girl.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't ugly because of looks I was struggling because of all the ugliness that had happened to me. And I was struggling and she came to me and said that to me and she don't know how much that hurt me, and it wasn't the hurt of her saying oh, you were ugly little girl. She didn't understand what she was saying when she was saying that ugly little girl because she didn't know all that ugliness that I had suffered through as that little girl. I don't think a lot of people her people, her people and people try to project what they're going through off on other people, and I think that's what she was dealing with and so instead of her, you know, seeking help and guidance for what she was going through, and, mind you, this woman wasn't evangelist Heather.
Speaker 1:That's why I say and see if you guys are too many and go to anything that is podcast. I'm on there under listen Linda, host of Bad Jack. When Cox, I did another interview with some ladies, some first ladies of the church, and I titled it Church Hurt and on there we spoke about you know church hurt and how people in the church attack people and you know it's because you know it's just like when you go to rehab. You can expect those themes and those addicts in there to treat you like you're. You know you're expect you golden, because they are going there to get healed as well. And it don't matter if you're an evangelist, a prophetess, a missionary, a ursha on the Ursha board, the mother of the church. They are all there because they have all seen and come short to the glory of God. And so we have to be careful when we try to hold them to a higher standard than ourselves and they have to be careful not to be judging other people, because what they say the first will shall come last and the last shall be first, and he who is without singing cast the first stone, honey. So keep those stones in your pockets, okay, keep those stones in your pockets, um? So my next question to you is um, can you speak about the importance of self compassion and forgiveness when it comes to healing from childhood trauma, and how did these aspects play a role in your journey? Absolutely so, if you.
Speaker 1:One thing I was very open and honest with was the fact that I blamed my eight-year-old self. As an adult woman, I blamed my eight-year-old self, like what were you doing? Um, why didn't you tell someone? Why did you? Why did you not tell anybody? You must have liked it because you know, as an adult, you would think, as an adult, you'll say, hey, something's, something's wrong, I'm going to fix it and I'm going to do this because these are the things that you can do to fix it. So, as an adult, you're looking back at that eight-year-old person and you're saying why didn't you do something? Why didn't you? And it took a long time for me to forgive myself. Forgive myself for being for blaming my eight-year-old self, because that that hurts. You think about all the trauma that you went through. And then, on top of all that trauma, you blamed yourself. You said it was your. You know it was your fault. What did you do? You know what was you doing? Why didn't you see anything? You must have liked it. You ate. You don't know what to do, especially as an eight-year-old, and I had to heal from that, and that was probably one.
Speaker 1:After healing from the fact that it happened to me, the second hardest thing was healing from the fact that I blamed me, and that's why I always say grace. The only thing it gives me through is grace. Let me ask you a question uh, latanya, um, have you forgiven the people who who did those things to you? So, um, my honest answer is no. I'm trying. I haven't gotten there. I'm trying. Um, I know that forgiveness means that I can not let them hold me hostage anymore, and they're no longer holding me hostage. I'm just working on the forgiveness part, because that that's hard.
Speaker 1:I was eight, from eight to 12 years old. That that's a lot, and I won't say that I'm not still angry about it, because they changed the trajectory of my life completely. And though we we always say where we're supposed to be, I am where I'm supposed to be, but it shouldn't have been this hard to get here. So, no, I'm working on it, I'm doing the work, but I can tell you that I have not completely forgiven them. I want to and I and I will. I know that I will, but I'm moving in the right direction, but it's hard. It's hard because I was eight. I wasn't an adult woman. I think if I was an adult it would be a easier forgiveness. I was eight years old. You took something from me that God gave me and I was innocence. I didn't deserve that. I did not deserve that. So you know, you took that from me, you took my innocence, and that's that's hard. No, kids should ever lose their innocence and I lost mine at eight years old. So, forgiving them, I'm working on it. Well, god bless you, sister, and you know it's something that you know.
Speaker 1:I will tell your story. The person who molested me was my dad's brother, and my family shunned me because I went to school and I said something. Finally, after years, are they happening to me? And I didn't go around my family for a long, long time. And when I finally did go around them, he did fess up to what he did and I still didn't forgive him. It took a long time. I was still able to be cordial, to be in the same room with him even, you know, before my dad passed, he would come to the hospital to see my dad and I would still be cordial to him. I had even got and that's only through, you know therapy and prayer and God himself, honey. But did I forgive him? Honestly? No, but I was able to be at peace knowing that, one, he took accountability for. Two, it was something that happened to him. And three, he was addicted to drugs. Not saying that's an excuse, but all of those three things play a major role because when you learn that hurt people hurt people and they repeat cycles, you can take that step and given just a little empathy, if you know what I'm saying. And so with that it wasn't until, okay, my dad passed away. And then he passed, not even six months later.
Speaker 1:And the other night I had a dream and I was telling my mother a lot of my husband about this dream and I had just done a show, speaking about, you know, empowerment and going through things in life with one another, someone you know that I interviewed. And I went to sleep that night, because after I do my interviews, guys, I go, I listen to my interviews again and then I write a blog about what we spoke on. You know what I'm saying. So I'm studying, going over and over the songs and going over and over the verbiage and what happened in the interviews, and I had a dream, and in the dream I'm laying in this bed and my dad is in the other room.
Speaker 1:Well, my dad didn't have legs in the dream, so he was sitting on the couch, but I couldn't see that he didn't have legs. And so my uncle comes into the room and he strips all the way down there and you know, the devil can't come in unless he's invited, right? So I'm in the bed. He comes in the door but he cannot get in the bed. So he's just as he's coming closer to the bed, you guys, my dad is on the other side and he's watching TV and I'm saying, daddy, daddy, this guy he's, he's trying to get in his bed, tell him to stop, tell him to stop.
Speaker 1:And my dad was like babe, I can't help you, I can't help you. And I couldn't understand why is I got so frustrated with my dad now? So my dad's face was turning like a blue, purplish color and I couldn't understand what was going on. So as I looked and I raised my head I could see he didn't have legs, so my dad was fighting by it like, oh my god, what I can't help my baby and so and so I couldn't get out, get the behind me, say I couldn't get out, you're not welcome. All I can get out was Get away from me. You, b-i-t-c-h, get away, leave me alone, b-i-t-c-h.
Speaker 1:When I was screaming this so loud, my husband had to wake me up and I got out the dream and he was like I don't know who you was talking to, but whoever it was, that person was a B and I fell out laughing. I started telling him about like the dream and he was there with me and we just broke down into prayer To pray that demon and that demonic spirit out of our house. Open up a window, let you know, burn some sage and just get that out of our house, out of my mind, out of my spirit. You know, because all I know is that if I wasn't covered in a word and I didn't believe in the word and I didn't have faith in God, not the size of a muscle seed, but man is the size of the universe.
Speaker 1:I truly believe that I'm so far into my 40 era that nothing can touch me. No devil can touch me, you know. It can get behind me, it can try to grab me, but God say touch not my anointing and do my problem with your arm. So you know, when you speak those words and you speak those into existence, and you are declaring that God gave you dominion over your life, right, absolutely, you can always know that with God, all things are possible and I'm not telling you to forgive them people, but I'm telling you to be at peace. And, with that being said, I'm going to play this one girl because you know you can lean on me.
Speaker 5:You can lean on me.
Speaker 3:Standing on the corner. He has no home, he has no food and his blue skies are gone. And you hear him cry. Now there's a girl searching for a father and a friend Crying at the storm. Someday will it? But instead of walking away, open up your heart and say hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm here.
Speaker 5:You don't have to worry, I'm here. I can see your tears.
Speaker 3:The tears. I'll be there in a hurry when the call yes, I will, and all that's eventual.
Speaker 5:When you fall. Here's my shoulder. Here's my shoulder, you can lean on me.
Speaker 3:I'll lean on you, listen. Oh, there's a child who is taken back and to be free, but there is no cure for his disease. He loves up to his mother. That's him, oh, his high Crying. At some day, the sun will shine again and the pain and the pain Come on. I am here. I am here, you don't have to worry. You don't have to worry. I see your tears. I'll be there in a hurry when the call. Here's my shoulder, here's my shoulder, here's my shoulder, here's my shoulder, here's my shoulder. You can lean on me. Tell me, how can I, how can I love Jesus when I've never seen His face? Yeah, see, I'm here. I'm here, you don't have to worry. I'll be there in a hurry when you fall. Yeah, see, you're dying and I turn our world away. So hold my hand. Let me take you to a friend of mine. It's waiting, just to ease your drive of mine.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, he loves you more than you'll ever know. Stand up, walk in a way, and open up the loving of your heart.
Speaker 3:I say I am here, you have to hurry on. You can see, you can see. You can see. You can see when you call Free to be there, so can you hear, catch the wind, you fall, oh, oh, oh. You can see, you can see. You can see, hold me, hold me. You can see, you can see.
Speaker 5:You can see. You can see he is the soldier you believe. I believe You're my friend, but you're also my brother. He is my soldier. You can lean on me.
Speaker 2:Hallelujah, thank you. Come on, let me see myself the way you see me. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Imagine me. I'm not the one I see when I'm. You're really set because I I imagine me in a place Of no insecurities and I'm finally happy because I imagine me letting go Of all of the ones who hurt me, because I never did deserve me. Can you imagine me Say no to thoughts that try to control me, remembering all you told me Love. Can you imagine me? Although I'm the one I'm saying here's the one my daddy did I wanna live and not breathe the pain you give me. Imagine me. We need to be trusting you Totally.
Speaker 3:Finally, I can Imagine me. I didn't mean it was hard to see being in love with someone like you. Finally, I can Imagine me being strong and now letting people break me down. You won't get that joy this time around. Can you imagine me In a world? In a world Nobody has to live or die Because of your love. It's gone away? Can you imagine me Letting go of the past and I have another chance and I'm hard to dance and I don't have to be in the page again? Imagine me. Imagine me. We need to breathe Trust in you totally. Finally, I can Imagine me. I admit, jesus, I didn't mean it was hard to see being in love with someone like me. Finally I can Imagine me.
Speaker 5:I imagine you being free trusting you Totally.
Speaker 3:Finally I can Imagine me. I'll be honest with you. I admit it was hard to see being in love with someone like me. Finally I can.
Speaker 5:Imagine me. Imagine me. The song is dedicated to people like me, those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self-esteem. You never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough, but imagine God whispering in your ear, letting you know that everything that has happened is now Gone, gone, gone, it's all gone. Every sin, every mistake, every failure, it's all gone. Depression gone. My faith is gone, no self-esteem, hallelujah it's all gone, Gone, gone, gone.
Speaker 5:All my scars all my pain Just from the past. It's yesterday. It's all gone. It's all gone. Gone what your mother did, what your father did. Hallelujah.
Speaker 3:Gone gone, gone, gone gone, gone, it's gone, oh-na-na-na, oh-na-na-na-na.
Speaker 1:Oh-na-na-na, oh-na-na-na-na-na, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on now, latanya, tell me about those songs you know those songs are better.
Speaker 1:If you're listening to and you having a bad day to have you and hit, boohoo crying, Not crying, Laura, Not crying, yeah, ugly crying too, Ugly crying, Not ugly crying, Chad, Ugly crying, Ugly crying, Chad, Just just ugh. So how does those songs reflect, or how does those songs resonate with your story? Letter to the AUO Me. And if you guys don't know, this is the author, Latanya Perosier. Her book is called Letter to the AUO Me. I put it in the chat where you guys can find her book, but she also has a book signing that's coming up in Houston Texas, Houston Texas, September 9th at the Sonoma Wine Bar, Upper Kirby, from 5 to 8 pm. So check her out, guys, and tell them where they can follow you. They can follow me on Instagram. It's Queen Me To Be. So I'm not real savvy on these social media. My son set it up for me. It's Queen Me To Be for my Instagram and for Facebook. It's just my name, Latanya Perosier. You can find me on Facebook.
Speaker 1:You know that song. He Kirk, he hit it on the head with that song and I know when he probably wrote that song he was struggling with some things. And for the people that are struggling, when I tell you you will ugly cry listening to that song because it is so true for the, you know, for you feeling like you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough. When I tell you, standing in the mirror and looking at yourself, if you're going through anything, especially if you have this hatred for yourself that you don't even know how to fix. What I did was I stood in the mirror but naked, and I said fix it, Find everything on you and make it beautiful. And you just go through and you say, hey, your legs are beautiful, your feet are beautiful, your skin is beautiful. You have to. You have to start really meaning those things about yourself. Because when I tell you when you were a kid and somebody does things to you that shouldn't be done, it makes you hate every part of you, no matter how, and here's how bad it was.
Speaker 1:And somebody said to me and this is, I can't even make this up. I tell you and someone would say to me you're so beautiful. You know I would be like me, you talking about me, Like I couldn't even believe that they could actually be talking about me. The beauty pageant queen you got this ladies beauty pageant queen just to go ahead. And you know, shameless plug. She's a beauty pageant queen and I struggled with feeling beautiful, Struggled, Struggled with it.
Speaker 1:Feeling beautiful was not what I felt about myself, so when someone would tell me you're so beautiful, I would go you talking about me Like I didn't believe it. I honestly didn't believe it. It wasn't until I start doing the work of finding the things that were beautiful about me and owning them and being okay with owning them Because I deserved it. I deserve to feel pretty. I deserve to know that I was pretty. I deserve to love all the parts of me. I deserve that and if you're struggling with that, you deserve it. You deserve to feel pretty. You deserve to love every part of you and you just have to decide okay, it's time. It's time for me to do the work that I need to do to get me to that point of where everything about you is beautiful, Amen, Amen.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to play this next song before we close out. So, after this next song, you guys, I really, really, really want you guys to call in, give us some questions or comments or just some words of encouragement from Miss Latanya, and we're going to start with. First, we're going to start with this song and then after this song we're going to come back for Q&A and that can be a question about her book or what she has coming up. It could be anything, it could be comments, it could just be a quick shout out thanking her for her time. But I'm going to go ahead and do this next song and bless you guys with it.
Speaker 4:I want to leave my footprints on the sands of time. No, there was something bad and something bad I left behind.
Speaker 3:When I leave this world, I leave no regrets, leave something to remember so they won't forget. I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did. I've done everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mind so everyone from know I was here. I will stay. I will stay until I die and know that I've done something and somebody lies. The hearts I have touched will be the proofs that I leave, that I made a difference and this world will see I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did. I've done everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mind so everyone from know I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did. I've done everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mind so everyone from know I was here. I just want them to know that I gave my all, did my best, brought someone from happiness, left this world a little better just because I was here.
Speaker 3:I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did. I've done everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mind, so everyone from know I was here. I was here.
Speaker 1:I lived, I was here, I did. I was here. I lived. I loved, I did. I was here, I did. I've done everything that I wanted, and it was more than I thought it would be. Yes, yes, yes, Now, that was Beyonce. I was here. And, as we come to the end of our interview, I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Miss Latanya Perotziere for joining us today. Miss Latanya, your openness, vulnerability and wisdom has undoubtedly left a lasting impact on everybody in here. I can for sure say that we are so grateful for the lessons learned and the inspiration gained from your remarkable journey, my sister. So let me, on behalf of the Listen, Lend the Show, just express our appreciation once again and thank you for being with us and sharing your story, my sister. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Yes, that song hit it on the head, did it not that that, yes, that hit it right there. No, oh, my goodness, it definitely hit it on the head. Yes, it did, and you guys can call in. I have one caller that's calling in now, but you guys can feel free to call in If you're just joining and having some questions about self discovery or dealing with childhood trauma and sexual molestation, abuse or any type of abuse and dealing. You know from childhood and how you're dealing with that. If you have any questions for Miss Latanya, miss Carol, what's your question? Or your comment or just your commentary about today's show? And this is more of a comment.
Speaker 1:I really felt you when you said I was a year old. Yeah, I'm a kid. You know we look for adults to be our guide, to be our leaders. You know our motivator. We don't look for adults to abuse. We don't look for overstepped. There's no bad protector, even if it's an older sister, older neighbor, and I can, I can feel you on that. Oh, I'm getting because I feel have questions. You know, questions that may never get answered, but I know you will get to the point where you will forgive.
Speaker 1:It's hard to conceive when you're a kid. You know something's not right but you can't articulate your thoughts Because you're kid, you're not on that level. But people take you from being a child to an adult. You know in a matter of seconds, and you can't, that our minds weren't made to comprehend on that level. And then you know people turn around to stay on a child's place and one of my friends from high school told me well, how am I going to be on a child's place when you cheated me? Which role am I supposed to play? And she's telling me this.
Speaker 1:My mouth is open because it was too much for my mind in high school. I appreciate you sharing your story. I can understand how you feel like you feel because I've had older cousins. They didn't go that far but you could tell they didn't like you for some reason and you know they seem age and if you've done to them to make them snarl at you or give you that gland, you know at the age of eight let's say seven, six you know something's not quite right but you can't put your finger on it Because you don't have a mind to do so and you can't articulate those thoughts to people you can. You know there's a thing going on Facebook that says excuse me if your child tells you they're uncomfortable around somebody. Believe them Absolutely. They don't want to go around.
Speaker 1:Your child can tell you that they're uncomfortable, you should absolutely applaud that child and believe them, because, kids, when we were coming up, we were told to shut our mouths and sit down. We were Absolutely so. We're in a land of confliction, you know. But as I went, got older, I realized these older relatives you know, they were teenagers then, they oldest relatives.
Speaker 1:I had a feeling they didn't like me, but as I became an adult I didn't realize. They hated me, you know, and like him, you know, not like it, and hate me to different levels, you know. And so I'm okay with that. Now, I promise you I'm okay with that because the rubber had to, you know, meet the road on that and I was like man. So what I was feeling when I was a kid wasn't just my imagination, it was real, you know. But there are some catalysts that came through and show their true, true, true sale and I'm like hello, are they harboring all this mess? You know, I'm a kid, I didn't know, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know what not liking people were, because our parents told us to love, you know. You know, but you're like, where did they come from? You know, where did those relatives come from, you know, but as far as forgiveness yeah, I forgive them Do I turn my back on? Oh no, oh no, you better, not, I can't, I can't.
Speaker 3:I can't, I can throw you on.
Speaker 1:I can't give you that, hey, I can't give you my back to stay up again. You won't get that. I'm not even bad.
Speaker 1:I think it's more so with me. It's like so I know y'all did this to me or y'all did this to somebody that I know and that I love, but y'all respect for people to just put that out their mind, forget it and then be like why? Why don't you let your kid? Are you in pain? Are you in the words of Raymond Jackson? Is you cool? Are you like? What is wrong with you? Are you okay? You ain't getting mad over there with me? Listen, I never let my kids go, nowhere. Do you hear me?
Speaker 1:They don't go nowhere and they also don't go where I'm not like, because people will come and they love, and now we love, we love, we love.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, they love, they love in your face. But then, soon, because I was a child and I knew it, people did not like my mom and I stayed with my dad's out of the family and they could not stand my mom, but in front of my mama face, I was so beautiful, I was this, I was that. And as soon as she turned her back, I was piss color. I was a white man baby. I wasn't my daddy daughter, I was a trick baby. I was this, I was that. And you white. You think you white. You think you this. You ain't nothing, you this, you that. You ain't black, you, white girl.
Speaker 1:So I went through that reverse racism, and not just in the home, but because I went to a predominantly all black school. I dealt with that at school and because I spoke with with elegance and with grace and proper oh you, you trying to talk white, you know. And it was like anything that I did if I was smart, oh, if I got straight days, oh, would you think you better than us? You think you white because you smart. Everything that was good, yeah, had to be equated to white, you know, and everything that was was urban or hip or what they would consider bad, had to be black. And I was like, well, I'm just going to be me, I'm not going to be white or black, I'm just going to be Jackie and whatever that, what, what. And I had to learn that coming up like whatever, whatever category, that, whatever I do in my life and the personality, traits and the characteristics and the morals and the values that I have within myself, whatever that is, it falls under the category of me. Absolutely, you know and thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I have another caller calling in. Hey, kate flowers. Thank you, we have another caller from a listener, kate flowers. What's your question? Thank you so much, carolyn. Hey ladies, can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you, sweetheart. What's your question or your comment?
Speaker 2:I just was joining in on the conversation. I was listening and agreeing to what you were saying about you know just you know being you when people were saying other things, thinking you know you're whitewashed or whatever the case is, and so I completely understand and with the childhood trauma can relate.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and we were speaking on a Latanya. If you can go for the people who are just too many and just give a little insight about your book and what you spoke on and what you went through, again, absolutely, my book is letter to the eight year old me and it's just my journey of an eight year old being molested from the eight of eight to 12 and just talk to and actually putting out the truth of that trauma. And there also is a section I didn't talk about was I wrote a letter to my predators and that was hard because you're I'm talking to the people who hurt me, who changed the trajectory of my life, who either didn't know or just didn't care what they were doing and and that was important for me to say like you changed my life, so I want all the predators up. What you're all behind is listening. When you hurt someone, whether you intentionally do it or unknowingly, are hurting because you were hurt, you change the trajectory of somebody's life, just like someone's changed yours, and you have an opportunity to make that change. You have an opportunity to say you know what. Somebody hurt me and I didn't deserve that, so I'm not going to hurt somebody else because I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve to have my life shook up the way it was. You know we like to say that, oh, we're where we're supposed to be, probably. But I wish that I hadn't had to go through that to get here.
Speaker 1:So it really is a journey of self reflection, of real self reflection, of real healing, because I had to heal that eight year old girl and I had to heal because when I wrote the book I was 48 years old. I had to heal that 48 year old woman who was making all the wrong decisions and making bad decisions left and right, and I had to figure me out and say, ok, enough is enough. Where do we go to fix all of these hurts and pains and trauma that you've been holding on and kind of stuffing away? And I had to do the work and, as I was telling Jacqueline earlier, I'm not done. I haven't forgiven them. I'm still trying to forgive them because I'm still dealing with the pain and the hurt of what you did to me.
Speaker 1:I was eight. You took something God gave me that I didn't have to buy, I didn't have to steal, it came with me. I was that full package, full illnesses. Every child is born into this world of pure innocence and they should have it as long as God lets them have it. Nobody should take that away, and you took it away from me as an eight year old girl, so I got a lot, of a lot of issue with that. So, forgiving you, I'm working on it. I'm more at peace than forgiveness.
Speaker 3:I need the old. I need the every hour. I need the. I need the old, I need the old, I need the old, I need the old. Oh Hi, oh Hi, the old. I need thee Every hour. I need thee. Oh, bless me now, my Savior. My Savior, I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty for you, I am thirsty for you, I am thirsty for you, I am thirsty for you, I am thirsty for you. Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Speaker 4:I'm not talking to everybody, but I know there's some first thing for life again.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna go to the same old tri-existence to follow his著사히 pillar right now. He said you know my name. As soon as he did that, I was like I love it, I love it, you know my name. He said it again. He said you know my name. Yeah, yeah, you know my name. He said you know how you walk with me. Woo, you know how you talk with me. I hear you Say oh, how you tell me, you know how you tell me that I am your own. Let's say it real loud together you know my name, you know my name. Yeah, yeah, say you know my name and you call me friend. Say you know my name Above and not beneath. Yeah, say you know my name. Oh, yeah, oh, how you walk with me and know how you walk with me. Has he been walking with you? How you talk with me? Oh, how you tell me and know how you tell me that I am your own. Say that one more time oh, how you walk with me and know how you walk with me. I love this relationship For how you talk with me. Hey, oh, how you tell me, for how you tell me that I am your own, that I am your own. Now let's just take the next 30 seconds and somebody just say something to him. Come on, raise up your voice and then tell him how awesome he is, how awesome he is.
Speaker 3:God, you're faithful, you're the love of my soul, the keeper of my life. God, I adore you. God, we honor you. Tonight, somebody just worship you. You're faithful, god. You're my peace, you're my joy, you're my life, you're my keeper. God, my strength, god, my father. God, you're my hope. God, you're my comfort. God, you're my joy, you're my deliverance. Somebody just worship the Father tonight. Oh, god, we love you. God, we love you, yeah, hey. And because it covers me, this is my testimony, y'all, hey, so the fire can burn me, no matter, Can't hide me. Your mountain can turn me, no matter. You're my hope. You're my hope. You're my victory, cause your power is within me. You're my life and it brings me. You're my life, and the fire can burn you, no matter, can't hide you, no matter, can't stop you from it. You know my name, yeah, and your victory, cause your power is within me, no matter, and it brings me. You know my name, you know my name, hey, say it. You know my name. Oh, yeah, you know my name. Oh, you know my name, you know my name. Every voice that's raised this real big Say oh, how you want with me, you know how you want with me.
Speaker 3:Oh, how you talk with me. Oh how you talk with me. Oh, thank you for communion. And oh, how you tell me I am your hope. Hey, hey, somebody test the fire right here. Oh Well, no fire can burn me. No matter, can't burn me. No mountain can stop me walking. You hold my hand. Hey, I am walking in your victory Cause your power is within me. No shine can defeat me walking. You hold my hand. Wait for my time to test the fire. Hey, baby, no matter, can't burn me, no mountain can stop me walking. You hold my hand. Hey, you hold me and your victory is your power. You within me. No shine can defeat me walking. You hold my hand, you hold my hand. Hey, say you know my name. Woo, you know my name. Come on. Say you know my name. Oh, how you walk with me Last time. Say you know how you walk with me. Oh, how you talk with me. Oh, how you talk with me. Oh, how you tell me, you know how you tell me that I am your own, that I am your own.
Speaker 1:If you know that no battle can defeat you.
Speaker 3:I wish you would raise up a worship to our God, who has already won the victory.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you Lord.
Speaker 1:Thank you, lord. Thank you, lord. Let's change the trajectory in this room. Father, gracious God, as we come to the conclusion of this interview, we offer our heartfelt gratitude for the insights and wisdom shared by Ms Latanya Perosier. Thank you, latanya, so much for your courage and opening up about your journey of self-reflection, healing and overcoming childhood trauma. May her words continue to echo in our hearts, reminding us of the power that she has, the resilience, the compassion and the self-forgiveness above all things, father, may those who have listened, may you guys, and may she find solace and strength in her own story, father God, and may it serve as a catalyst for you guys' own healing and growth. We ask, father God, for your continued guidance and support as we navigate our own path towards healing and wholeness. In your divine holy name, jesus Christ, we find hope and we find comfort. Amen, latanya, are you there? Are you there, sweetheart? I am here. Are you calm? I'm calm. I had to bring Jesus in the room.
Speaker 1:Child Great being listen. After that prayer, I better be. I said, ooh, I took her to a place. Let me reel her back in. Let me reel her back in, let me stop on. And whoever else? I need Tosh, I need Marvin, I need Jim James Paulus, harold mother here here here, bring him over here.
Speaker 1:Ooh wee, ooh wee. So I'm going to get ready and closed out. Is there anything else you want the people to know? Maybe remind them about your book signing, anything else and what else you have coming up and where they can find you, your website, anything, wherever they can find you. So yeah, my book signing is Timber 9th. It's going to be at the Sonoma Wine Bar in Houston, texas, upper Kirby. We're going to be there from 5 to 8. It's going to be free wine with the book. So of course you got to purchase the book, but I'm going to make sure everybody gets great glasses of wine. We can get the fellowship. I'm going to read probably a chapter from the book. Currently I'm still in Memphis, tennessee you know love in Memphis and retiring next year. My book you can find on. Yes, I can't wait, honey, I'm so ready. You can find it on Amazon. It's a letter to the eight year old me. You can.
Speaker 5:Google it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. If you Google letter to the eight year old me, it'll pull up everywhere you can find it. You can find it on Amazon, you can find it at Barnes Nobles and you can find it at Targetcom. I think you can get it out for there. But yeah, get it, read it and send me a message. I want to hear from you.
Speaker 1:It definitely warms my heart, because I didn't write it to help anybody else, but the fact that it's doing that it blesses my heart every time I hear from someone. So if you read it and it resonates with you, please shout me out and let me know what's going on with you. I'd love to hear from you and we once again thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and sharing your testimony. I'm going to end this on just letting you know that you're perfect sweetheart. So, with that being said, thank you guys. So much my faithful, faithful listeners and followers for tuning in and, once again, you guys have a great Labor Day weekend and extended weekend. If your kids are in school, just enjoy them. Enjoy family, fun, friends and love on each other and love on yourself. And I'm going to end it with you're perfect.
Speaker 3:I found a love for me, darling. Just dive right in, follow my lead. I found a girl, beautiful and sweet. I never knew you were the someone waiting for me, Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time, darling. Just kiss me slow. Your heart is all I own and in your eyes you're holding mine.
Speaker 3:Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms, Bippin' on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath. You heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight. Well, I found a man, strong-gutting anyone. I know he shares my dreams. I hope that someday we'll share our home.
Speaker 3:I found love to carry more than just my secrets, to carry love to carry children of our own. We are still kids, but we're so in love, fighting against all odds. I know we'll be alright this time. Darling, just hold my hand, be your girl. You'll be my man, and I see my future in your eyes. Well, baby, yeah, dancing in the dark with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, while listening to our favorite song. When I saw you in that dress looking so beautiful, I don't deserve this, darling. You look perfect tonight. No, no, no, baby, yeah, dancing in the dark with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, while listening to our favorite song, I have faith in what I see. Now I know I have met an angel and a star. She looks perfect. I don't deserve it. You look perfect tonight.
Speaker 1:When I do feel good, I want to pop on here and get a show.