Listen Linda! Hosted by Jacquiline Cox
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Listen Linda! Hosted by Jacquiline Cox
Listen Linda Presents… The Hot Seat ft Media Guru Cyrus Webb
After navigating my own suicide attempt during pregnancy, I'm honored to welcome Cyrus Webb as the first male guest on "Listen Linda". Our conversation is both a celebration of breaking boundaries and a heartfelt exploration of resilience in life's darkest chapters. Cyrus bravely shares his transformative journey from surviving multiple suicide attempts to finding healing through faith and the supportive words of friends. Together, we uncover the power of shared experiences and highlight how pivotal moments can become sources of strength and empowerment.
Family and community play a pivotal role in our stories. We explore the profound impact of unwavering parental support, even when career paths aren’t fully understood. Through personal anecdotes, we reflect on the sacrifices made by loved ones and the nurturing of dreams that shape our lives. The importance of community is further emphasized as I share my own journey of finding support through social media, transforming virtual connections into real-life friendships that provided solace during times of profound loss.
The episode also touches on self-discovery and valuing one's worth. I recount a personal experience of recognizing the importance of setting boundaries and charging what I'm truly worth for my professional services. Cyrus Webb, a media personality and author, joins us to discuss how his creative journey has been a source of healing and inspiration. His story underscores the importance of acknowledging emotions and embracing positivity. As we wrap up, we reflect on the enduring themes of love, resilience, and faith as cornerstones in overcoming adversity, encouraging each listener to stand strong and embrace their journey.
When you get caught in the rain With nowhere to run, when you're distraught and in pain Without anyone, when you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes, when you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes and you feel so far away that you just can't find your way home, you can get there alone, it's okay. Won't you say, yes, I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to mend. And every time I feel afraid, I hold tight to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain. And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in. You will arise safe and sound. So keep pressing on, step by step, and you'll find what you need to breathe in what you say I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again On my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to mend. And every time I feel free, I hold tight to my faith and I live one more day and I'll make it through the rain. And when the rain blows and shadows grow close, thank you, you'll never pull through. Don't have to say. Stand tall and say, yeah, yeah, I can make it through the rain. I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to last. And every time I feel afraid, I hold tighter to my faith. I can make it through the rain and send the woods again and I live one more day and night. I can make it through the rain. Oh, yeah, she can. You'll make it through the rain. You're broken down and tired Of living life on the merry-go-round and you can't find a fighter. But I see it in you. So we can walk it out. Ooh, mountains, we can walk it out.
Speaker 1:I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again. And I'll rise up. I like the waves. I'll rise up In spite of the ache. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again For you, for you, for you, for you. The silence isn't white and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe and I know you feel like dying. But I promise we'll take the world to its feet.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I won't take it to its feet. I won't dance and I'll rise up. I'll rise like the day. I'll rise up. I'll rise unafraid. I'll rise up and I'll do it a thousand times again For you, for you, for you, for you. All we need, all we need, is hope, and for that we have each other, and for that we have each other, and we will rise, we will rise, we will rise, we will rise, we will rise, oh, we will rise. I'll rise up, rise like the day. I'll rise up in spite of the day. I rise up In spite of the ache. I will rise a thousand times again and we'll rise up High like the waves. We'll rise up In spite of the ache. We'll rise up and we'll do it a thousand times again. For you, for you, for you, for you, you.
Speaker 3:Hello, hello, hello. That was Miss Andra Day and Mariah Carey with Rise Up and Make it Through the Rain. We are still waiting on the anticipated guest. You guys know, sometimes station here can just really be, you know, difficult if you're new to the platform, and that is okay. So while we are waiting, I want to say I apologize, thank you All right now.
Speaker 1:I apologize, cyrus, if you can hear me.
Speaker 3:I almost had to meet Anita singing to you. Now how you doing. Hit your icon and you can come off of mute.
Speaker 2:All right, jacqueline. Thank you so much for having me Really appreciate it.
Speaker 3:Thank you, thank you and, just like Miss anita said, I apologize now I apologize for evidently trying to log in.
Speaker 2:I was like I thought I was in already on spotify, but look, I'm so glad I make it.
Speaker 3:Thanks again for the invite oh no, no problem, no problem at all. I I am so, so glad and for you guys. You guys know this is the first time in Listen Linda history that a male has been a guest on this platform. Uh-oh, I am turning over a new leaf.
Speaker 3:I only allow women on my platform. I only allow myself to do my stuff, but I am bringing down the walls. You guys Ain't y'all proud of me? All right, all right. So cyrus is making history today as the first male other than mr cox and my boy to ever grace the listen linda platform. So welcome mr cyrus cox. I mean look, oh lord, I'm gonna have some trouble when I get off of here. Welcome Mr Cyrus Cox. I mean look, ooh Lord, uh-oh, I'm going to have some trouble when I get off of here.
Speaker 2:Look, hey, look, I'm like man.
Speaker 3:did I miss something? We're about to go into prayer right now. All right God, all right, all right, god. As we step into this moment together, we're asking for your presence to guide us. Lord, god, help us speak from the heart, with realness and compassion, as we connect with Cyrus and just dive into his journey. Let us listen deeply, share emotions that resonate, with everyone tuning in, and may this conversation be lit with your light, bringing hope and inspiration to all who hear it. Amen, amen, all right, all right. So we're just gonna jump right into it. All right, cyrus, because all right, we're just gonna get real, because I know they can probably prep you. You got a whole team that's been on my show, so I I know they impressed you Like look you, finna, get ready and go in the hot seat. She finna try to get you and they was right.
Speaker 2:Hey, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes. So let's get real. Can you take us back to a moment in your journey when you felt like you were totally broken, Like what did that teach you about resilience and how did it shift your whole outlook on life?
Speaker 2:Wow, that's a great first question, jacqueline. You know, and I can't, and it doesn't even take much thought I was 20 years old, living in New York, and just survived my third suicide attempt, and I remember being in the hospital, and I was living in New York by myself, so I had no family there. All my family was still in the South. And so I remember waking up and almost hearing God say to me how dare you try to take what you can't give? And I realized then that I was looking at my life in a totally distorted way. I was so focused on what I didn't think I could give instead of thinking about what God could do through me. And when I started making that shift at 20, everything that has happened in my life since then has basically been revealed to me as God's plan, and so I can I talk about that.
Speaker 2:But I think it's one thing that's important for especially us guys to admit that, yes, we can be broken. And I should say too my, what led me to my suicide attempts had nothing to do with abuse, had nothing to do with bullying, had nothing to do with neglect. I literally did not feel worthy. I did not feel like I was a person of worth. I felt like people were lying to me when they said I was smart, that I was gifted. I did not see the gifts or appreciate the gifts that God had given me up until that point and again because I was thinking about it from my perspective and then, when I realized my gifts were not even for me, jacqueline, that is literally what shifted my entire life and the way I've lived ever since.
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness, Well we done. Kicked it off y'all because he showed he came in guns blazing, praise the Lord, and I just you know that's right. Dr Velma, I truly appreciate your transparency, and you know if you've read most of my literature and so you can kind of know that we kind of relate in that area. I've also survived suicide attempt, but mine was while I was pregnant with my first child, and so I took a bunch of pills heart pills, all type of pills and they had to pump my stomach out and luckily, you know, I survived that and that was also a pivot in my life. That said, you know what you got so much to live for. You know God has a plan for your life, and who do you think you are to just come in and say what you're going to do? Like I tell my kids I have dominion over you, and I guess god was telling me.
Speaker 3:Like I have dominion over you, how dare you right right, look, go somewhere and set out you ain't going nowhere till I tell you you're going. So yeah, I appreciate, I pray and I thank God for keeping you here, because look at the millions of lives you've changed in just a short period of time. So I thank God for keeping you here. Okay, honey, like we all know, words can heal or hurt. Can you recall a time when someone's words have pulled you up from your darkest days, like, how did that moment change how you see the power of connection?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, there's been. Honestly, I've had several incidents in my life that have led me to that point. But I have to tell you one of the biggest ones, and it's a slogan that has lived forever in my head, ever since Jacqueline, and I can even tell you the year it was 2006. And a friend of mine, locally in Mississippi you know I've always been a person who I didn't care what people had to say about me or what I did, or he thinks he's so much, or he thinks he can do this. Do this Because, again, at this point, by the time it's surviving three, two or three attempts. Look, I know, I'm here, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You may not see it, it may not be for you, that's fine, but this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2:And a friend of mine her name is Stephanie Mitchell, jacqueline, and she's living today. She's having her own challenges, health wise. But she said to me in 2006, she said Cyrus, she said they just don't see it. She said they have placed these limitations on themselves. And then she said these words, said you need to put that on the shirt, not me, because you were the one who said it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:That is something you need to put on the shirt, because those words, when you limit your mind, you limit yourself. That goes to not only what you've been called to do by God. That goes to not only when it comes to what you can do in your family. What you can do you know with yourself. You know, I think when you realize that with the moment you put a ceiling on it, you're basically blocking the blessings of God. Amen. And for me, when she said that, it's like, oh, my goodness, that is a big thing. So that again has stood with me, because when something happens, always keep in mind, when you limit your mind, you limit yourself, and that's what's helped me not to put ceilings or caps on the blessings or the things I know God has for me.
Speaker 3:Well, I can attest to that. I remember, probably about a year and a half ago, when I kind of broke out and just started, you know, like you know what, I'm tired of playing background, I'm tired of playing Milli Vanilli. Like my husband, you know, he saw all the work that I was doing, like behind the scenes, right, and he's like why do you do that? Why do you allow people to just do that to you? And I was like do what. He was like you call it helping, but you're doing everything. He was like you are phenomenal, like your talent is limitless, like you're. Like he was like a bottomless pit, like a bottomless well, and you don't understand how many gifts that you have. And he was like you. You basically what he was telling told me, said change your mind, change your life. Once you change your mindset, your whole life will change. And I I never thought about it that way, because I'm just always, just naturally, a giver right, and it started out as being what dr velma would call a people pleaser right, and just it's just always wanting to please everybody, always wanting to please everybody. Because I was, you know, of course, you know I'm a product of the foster care system, so I always wanted to make sure that I pleased whoever I was around so they would keep me around. That's the feeling of being unwanted or unneeded, or feeling like you know, I don't belong, I don't fit in. Well, god told me one day, like you know what, you're not meant to fit in. That's why you're the black sheep. You're not meant to fit in, you're meant to stand out because what I have for you is so much greater. If you just allow people to see the things that I'm doing in your life, then they will know that there is a God, because only God is able to do these things for you. I can't do anything by myself, cyrus. You can't do anything by yourself, and so that is the reason people will, like you, say, oh, he thinks he did. I get that a lot, cyrus. You can't do anything by yourself, and so that is the reason people will, like you, say, oh, he thinks he's this. I get that a lot too. Oh, she thinks she's this, I absolutely do. I remember I was on the bus the other day and someone told this guy who do you think you don't even know who you are? And he said I do know who I am. And he said what are you? He said the s and it took me to the moon. Because I'm like that is me, I, that's what I think. I, yes, absolutely the, because how you, of course, I do, and when people don't feel that about themselves, they, they try to project that onto you and that's not your problem. And so, yes, thank you so much for that.
Speaker 3:In who's tuning in? Who will tune into the replay? Please take note of that. Is is 100 to. To be 100 confident in yourself, that's not being braggadocious, that is confidence. And a lot of times the enemy will try to come and they will try to make you feel guilty for being confident, because that is something that they lack. So let's stop practicing that minimizing who you are, compartmentalizing yourself for being great, because God, he does not make any mistakes and he is of excellence and royalty. And if you are his child, like I know and like Cyrus know, you are his child. You are of royalty and excellence. You inherited that from the father and never let nobody make you feel less than that. And on that note, I got another question for you Because I caught with the questions.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:Now I've been tuning in to your shows a lot, especially with Dr V, because you know, when y'all two get together y'all are like y'all need, like TV gold, like TV gold. It's just so funny, it's entertaining, but it's also very intellectual conversations. You know it's a lot of wisdom that comes from you. Know, just you two collabing, and I learn a lot every time I listen to you guys, but every time, like I remember you saying how close you were with your mom, and so let's talk about your mom Like what's one sacrifice that she made for you that still gets you emotional, like how has her strength been the fire that pushed you through your own challenges in life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know it's funny. My mom and I, and my dad as well, but definitely my mom, I think you know I and Jacqueline you can relate to this and probably a lot of your listeners can too. The path I take makes absolutely no sense to my family. What I've been able to do makes absolutely no sense to them. When I first started this in 2003, they had, you have to think, no one in my family had ever been on television, no one had been on radio, no one had written a book, no one had done all this traveling.
Speaker 2:And who do you work for? You know, those are the questions I would get up in the morning and I would literally my grandmother, who I got a chance to be her caregiver until she died in 2014. I remember, before things kicked off, she I would be here working and I would hear her sometimes say, well, he didn't go anywhere. Today I don't know what he's doing. It's not real. I mean because the world we live in is so different than the world they knew For them, for a man to work, you got up, you got dressed and you punched the clock for somebody else the whole idea of entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2:So for my mom, growing up, I used to say I wanted to be an author. This was me as a child. I wanted to be an author. I wanted to be an illustrator, a drawer, an artist. And she would always say, okay, but in her mind, like what are you going to do for a job? You know what I'm saying. And so I'm like no, that's the job I want. She's like well, no, I hear artists don't make it to their dead, and so that means you won't actually, so what are you gonna do? So when she saw that wasn't going anywhere, she would give get me. I mean, I was the first one in my neighborhood, jack, when we had a computer, and these are the little slim computers like we have today. These are the. I know both. He was.
Speaker 2:You know that he's the app, yeah, and then we have dial up. So there was that. But she would sacrifice to get me art books and to get me things because she I guess she even then saw it saw that. Okay, if he's saying this is what he wants to do, I'm going to do my part to support it.
Speaker 2:Now, we were not people of means, we were not people who could afford. You know, we were literally paycheck to paycheck. A family that's paycheck to paycheck. My mom worked, my dad worked, you know, but they were.
Speaker 2:I think, about the sacrifices she made as far as time, I mean, she worked at, he worked in the daytime, she worked in the daytime, he worked at night. So there were. You know we didn't really sit down together as a family, but we knew we were loved from the sacrifices. So I think about that and what I'm able to do for them today, when my dad retired and helping him out and both of my parents are living close and being mindful even though I do have to travel for work and stuff being mindful of their needs. So I think about that sacrifice and the example of hard work.
Speaker 2:They said, even though we're working totally different, the idea of hard work. And I tell them, I said I would not be who I am. I don't believe without that example Because they showed me, and I think it's the only way I think about a lot of things but, especially when it comes to hard work, you have to make sacrifices, right. Absolutely Nothing's going to come easy, and I've always known but especially when it comes to hard work, that you have to make sacrifices, right. Absolutely nothing going to come easy, and I've always known that I've never expected anyone to give me anything, because my parents didn't expect anyone to give them anything, you know, and so I think that has been the biggest thing and the biggest gift, because it's a lesson I continue to learn from absolutely.
Speaker 3:It's like train train your child up in a way they should go and they will never part from it. And absolutely, I'm a hundred percent. Anybody who know me, who see me, who know me in the street, who know, who know anything about me the way I ride for my boys is second to none, I think in the universe.
Speaker 3:I think, if I'm gonna be an art, the light. Whatever they want to do, they want to do karate oh, we signing them up. The dukes want to play the piano we bought a piano. Jay wants to do the guitar we got the guitar with the bass. Jay wanna do debate we got debate. Jay wanted a clothing line we it. Everything that these kids want to do oh, they want to write a book. Cool, we're going to write the book. You know, we're going to get this. You know, mom, you're a bestseller. I wish I could do that. Okay, no problem, I'll run your bestseller campaign.
Speaker 3:Whatever it is that my kids want to do, they are 100% want to do, they are 100 able to do. And I really, truly just have to give props, like you said, to my husband, because my husband gets up every day. He makes sure the kids get to school, because he know I have health challenges myself a lot of times. I'm bear ridden and I can't um, but he gets up, he makes sure my kids get to school, he works, he works out, he comes home, he makes sure I had my medicine and I ain't fluke, because, you know, sometimes I don't feel like taking, but he'll make sure I took it, I ate it. Just he makes sure that home is well, taken care of, the bills, everything, and all he wants me to do is just do what makes me happy and I just thank God because I didn't always have that.
Speaker 3:I was a single mom for four years with my oldest son before me, and my husband got married and I worked three jobs. I remember walking. I dropped Jayden off at school on the bus and I had to walk the rest of the way because I didn't have bus fare and a snow blizzard, a mile and a half to get to work, to work with people with disabilities, until 11 at night and my husband was a good friend of mine at the time, would pick me up from school, go take me to my foster mom's house to pick up my son, and that continued for about a year and a half. And so the sacrifices that moms make for their children, but also the sacrifices that the dad makes to make sure that the mom is good, to make sure good dads and good moms. And I just you know I appreciate your mom, especially because I'm a mom, a real mom, that I don't care if somebody is going to.
Speaker 3:I've had offers. Cyrus, you will not believe. Hey, you can make 5 000 if you travel to this state. They're looking for this person to come speak or they're looking for this person to be a keynote. If my kid got a basketball game, or my kid got something going on at home or he's sick, or my husband got something that he can't break away from, if they can't come with me, or I have to miss something, it wasn't meant for me, because my kids going to always trump whatever is going on in the universe to me. You know, and so I see that that's how your mom was.
Speaker 3:So I just kudos, kudos to you, mrs Webb. You know you got it on lock. I appreciate that. Um, now, um, as far as like influence in the community, community, your community has been there for you. As far as, like your, not just probably your village around you at home in Mississippi, but also your virtual community. No doubt, no doubt, can you share a heartfelt story about a time that they rallied around you during a tough moment. How did that love remind you of the power of your connection with them and their love and their connection with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would definitely have to be going back to May of 2014, which is, I mean, as an adult, after my suicide attempt, was probably the most difficult time of my life, and that was the death of my grandmother, someone who gave me my first haircut. I moved back to Brandon, mississippi, where I currently live, to take care of her after she was put on dialysis, and so you know, they told her at the time, you know, she probably would not live three years. She lived nine years on dialysis, died at the age of 91 in 2014. But we had a very special relationship.
Speaker 2:I'm an interesting person, jacqueline, in that, because of my schedule, if it was up to me like living the life I live now, I would not eat three meals a day. Well, I don't eat three meals a day. I'm not a person who, you know, I was not as focused on other people except when it came to her, so when my schedule was the most flexible. So when they told me what was going on, I said, well, I'll move back to Brandon, I can be there, I can take her to Dallas on Mondays, wednesdays and Fridays. I can cook her three meals a day. I can check her blood sugar and give her insulin shots. It was a privilege for me to do that. It was a privilege for me to do that. That's how I looked at it, because I moved in with her when I was a teenager because she was living by herself. Her children, which now all of them are gone, except for my mom, so she's buried all of her children and so it's not stuff for my mom who's still living, and so it's my privilege to be able to do that.
Speaker 2:But when she that last year 2014, was very difficult. It was for me professionally was a high point. Personally it was a disaster. I got my first book deal that year at the beginning of the year. She started having heart issues at the beginning of the year, so we were back and forth to the hospital, which had not happened at the beginning of the year. So we were back and forth to the hospital, which had not happened, and so I did not post about it initially on social Jacqueline only because I was trying to stay focused and I was building a business.
Speaker 2:I did not, but people were used to seeing my grandmother with the magazine. She was a reader like me, so I would take pictures of her with the magazine and those kinds of things and leave them to house it out at the grocery store or whatever. So when May came around and it was obvious that we were coming to the end, I didn't know what to do, and so that last week she died and that day she died I went on Facebook and I told them. I said, because I was trying to process it myself, but I knew that my community, to your point, would understand, because all of us go through loss, all of us go through challenges, and this has been the biggest thing that literally had ever happened to me. So, you know, I went on to talk about her and the outpouring of support and love that I got was amazing. I mean, authors were sharing pictures because she would read some of the books of the authors. I would be interviewing with Jacqueline, and so they were sharing and I would take pictures of her with. They were sharing the pictures, and so I had those moments to smile about, you know, and those kinds of things, and so that really kind of sealed the community for me in 2014,.
Speaker 2:That it was bigger than just professional, because I always joke with people. I don't have a personal life. That really became more reinforced after she passed. Passed because she was the closest I had to Normacy, because you know, like I said, cooking and and doing things, you know I I that was not something I typically do today. You know it's not something I do like that.
Speaker 2:So I think that that really was a moment for me in 2014, and it has continued. So I do share things with my mom. My family does not. They are not social media people, so I'm very respectful of that. None of them are on social. So I share pictures, mostly with my mom and with my nephew, but I don't include a lot of them mostly with my mom and with my nephew, but I don't include a lot of them. My dad people literally just saw him, I think, this year, because he's not big on pictures and that kind of thing. But yeah, 2014 was really that big moment when I really felt the friendship of social media outside of just the professional, absolutely absolutely and it is.
Speaker 3:It's a professional, absolutely, absolutely, and it is. It's a blessing to have. I was talking to my husband the other night because ever since I moved out here with my husband, I've had to kind of break away from some people who you, just, you still love and you used to be friends with these people. But you go on different paths and you, just, you still love, and you, you, you used to be friends with these people, but you, you go on different paths and you just outgrow, um, a lot of things that some people are still trapped in. They're still trapped in that time because they're afraid of change, and so I had to disconnect from a lot of people. But also I lost soul, like my soul, people that I kept close. I lost my grandmother, I lost my dad, I lost my sister, I lost a couple of my uncles. I lost my best friend, and she was only 30, to kidney failure. I lost, and we were friends since the third grade, and so when you lose your entire circle, a couple of my foster parents, who I was very, very close to, a foster sister, I'm losing all these people within a five-year timeframe, right, and so I'm not processing it, I'm just blanking, iteting it, if that, if that's even a word I think I just made it up, but I'm basically enveloping everything and I'm just stuffing it in the envelope and moving on. Stuffing it in the envelope and moving on.
Speaker 3:I think when I lost my dad is when I I went numb and then I lost a few more people that are really really close to me after that, but by that time I was numb and then one day, uh, on the anniversary of his death, I just broke and after that it was just like a spiral of me having to unpack all of that hurt and you know, with, of course, with, um, god and with my pastor, but the, the, the rallying of support that I had behind me with my true friends, um, that I had made through social media, um, that I met on the book slam, dr velma, laquita parks, carolyn coleman, all of these people that I met on an app called the clubhouse, and you know it's just, it was like crazy, because I was just telling my husband I don't have any friends like my husband. Of course he's an army man, hurrah, right, like he has his army buddies that he can call, he can talk to, or he has, like his, his biological family. I didn't have that. I have one sister that I'll talk to every single day. The rest of my siblings, I love them, they love me, but everybody is just kind of like moving, you know. That's kind of like how we've been our whole life. So we don't, we only know that right. And so I'm like I only got Darcelle and if I can't call her, I don't have anybody else. I can't unload on my husband all the time, you know, because he'd be like that's women business, I don't care about that. So it's like you don't have nobody. But now I have a village right of people through social media who have not just been friends social media friends but been friends outside of social media. Me and my husband were honored with the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award just this past September and Carolyn Coleman drove four hours just to come watch us receive that award.
Speaker 3:Laquita, who we all know, laquita Parks of Pay-Per-Beat Publishing. She has a child, you know, a disability, you know, with her leg, and she made sure that not only did she attend that ceremony but showed us around Atlanta, you know, invited us to meet her whole family. And these are the things that people don't even know. Dr Velvo, you already know I talk to her every single day. I call her Mama B and it's, you know. I know her family, I know her husband, I know both of her daughters, I know her granddaughter, you know, and it's like these people have invited us outside of the app into their homes to meet their families, dr Audrey, and all of these people.
Speaker 3:Melanie Johnson, who's also from Mississippi, who we call each other sister cousins, who we call each other sister cousins, and we look alike, and I got family that's in mid-group. My dad is from Sunflower County, mississippi. My grandma is from Greenville, mississippi. You know, like I got people in Mississippi who are still there New Orleans, you know, and Louisiana. My other grandmother is Creole. She's from Louisiana, she's from New Orleans, and so it's like, you know, I was raised by people from the South and just to be able to kind of bond with just people from all over the world I have a friend even in the UK just all over the world, and it's just an amazing feeling that social media can be that place where you can find comfort outside of your local community that you would never be able to do had not these apps ever been created.
Speaker 3:So it's not always negative. You know, people say I don't want to get on social media. It's negative, it's what you make it. It's truly what you make it, and if you're pouring out love, that's what you'll receive, you know. So I just I thank, I thank you for sharing that and allowing me also to kind of share mine as well. Now, we all have personal sacrifices when we're chasing our dreams, because chasing our dreams is not easy and it comes with tough choices. What's a personal sacrifice that you feel that you made that still weighs on your heart, and how has it impacted your relationship with your loved ones?
Speaker 2:Well, Jacqueline, it's been great being on your show. I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 3:I know.
Speaker 2:Look when they say you're not going anywhere. So let me just say this what I'm about to say, almost nobody probably listening will agree with. But you asked me a personal question and I'm going to give you the truth and a personal answer, okay. So help me, jesus, all right. So, growing up, I always wanted to have a family. Now I thought, you know, I'm a faithful guy, I'm a good guy, I'm a nerdy guy, but I'm a good guy, and that was my thing. I was going to get married, have a wife, have children. I never doubted I could take care of my family, right, okay? So I had the suicide attempt in 2020. And then I thought to myself you know what? Actually, I don't really want a family. I was looking at my family and thought this is what I'm supposed to have, and I tell everybody this. And you ask me a personal question. I'm going to give you. This is my truth. Here I feel like this, and I've heard this saying and, jacqueline, for me it rings true, and that is you cannot have everything all at once, and for me, the sacrifice has been that I have had to make tough choices. A lot of people don't know this.
Speaker 2:I was actually engaged, and this was at the very beginning of my professional career as an entrepreneur, and I never will forget this experience Now. I would go to her house on Sunday. She lived with her mom and her sister. I would cook for them on Sundays, we'd hang out. But when the work started picking up, I started doing in-person events and so I was like you know, well, I have an event coming up. I would love for you to come. You know, sometimes she'd be like you know, you know I don't really want to go. I said, okay, well, cool, I'll check in with you. You know, after the event Sometimes she would go and I didn't see it at the time. I understand it better now that I don't know what she thought was going to happen at the event, that it was going to be just us. But it was my event. Other people were here, right, so you have to network, right, exactly. So I never will forget this conversation.
Speaker 2:She says to me one day she says sorry. She says I just feel like you don't have the time right now for me, the time that I need, and she says I'm going to need you to make a choice. Now, one thing, anyone who knows me will tell you, my mom, my brother, anybody. If you give me a choice, I'm going to make an honest choice. I'm not going to do what you think I should do. I'm going to do what I feel like is the best thing to do. And I said to her. I said I totally understand that. And I said to her at that point and I hope you find somebody that can give you what you want. Now let me tell you what and I'm not saying this to be petty, I'm not saying this for anything. I'm just answering the question that the host asked me. That was it. I want you to think about this. That was in 2008. She's still single to this day. Now I say this to say this. Now I say this to say this.
Speaker 2:A lot of times, we do things because it's what people expect us to do or we feel pressured to do. What she did, honestly, was give me a gift, and that gift was to realize that you know what. This may not be the path for me. No-transcript. There's nobody that I want to spend my life with at this point, not one person. There's nobody that I yearn for.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to tell you another thing I don't get lonely. I can't tell you the last time I was depressed I don't think I'm missing out on anything. I have a very fulfilled life. So I said that to say I do not believe you can have everything all at once, not if you are truly going to give it your all. And I don't regret the choice I made in that moment in 2008. And every day since then I thought to myself you know what? I could not have made a better choice. Now people look at all the stuff I do and say you do all this stuff. How do you do all this stuff? To your point? You make sacrifices. You know there are things I have to tell people no to.
Speaker 3:I'm just learning that word and it feels so good to come out when I say it, it feels magnificent.
Speaker 2:It is one of my top three.
Speaker 3:It's an exhilarating feeling that I get when I say no.
Speaker 2:It is a word of freedom and even my parents have understood that no is a complete sentence. There's no, don't you think? There's no trying to figure it out. There's no explanation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my yes to my little sister. You know, what I love about what you just said is the fact that you are absolutely right. Sometimes, when people will try to do is gaslight you, or they will try to make you feel as if like pressured into, like an ultimatum, and they automatically think, because you have a good heart and you're a Christian and you're a good person, that you're going to just go with whatever they say and just you know. Ok, all right, so I have an ultimatum here to you and the rest of the world that I'm going to choose what I want to do, because if you allow people to do that to you, it's going to have a snowball effect. Now, everything after that in your life would have been well.
Speaker 3:It's an ultimatum. Either I get these shoes or nobody gets anything. It's an ultimatum. If I don't get this, then no, you know either this or this. And it's an ultimatum. If I don't get this, then no, you know either this or this. And it's always like you giving in at some point. So at some point in life we have to stand our ground and just truly do what feels right for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was talking to you exactly. I was going to add the week my grandmother died. You know one of the things she said to me I'm so glad you didn't get married. I was going to add the week my grandmother died. You know one of the things she said to me. I'm so glad you didn't get married the week she died. That's one of the things she said to me.
Speaker 2:She said because there would not have been time for anybody else, and that to me was even more time Because it's supposed to cling to your wife.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but you're supposed to cling to your wife. Yeah, but you're supposed to cling to your wife, but it's still supposed to be a sense of family there, and if there's somebody that's so self-invested that they want to make sure that everything revolves around them and their bubble, that seems like someone that is insecure, someone that is self-centered and does not have you in mind, and that would have never worked. That's what Dr Velma just said. She was not the one. I'm reading you off the comments. She was not the one. Ms Queenie said for real, for real. And Dr Velma said you shouldn't be lonely. And Earl Hall said Cyrus is still available, ladies.
Speaker 2:And I did respond to that one and say a lot. So I am taken, I am completely taken by the life that I've chosen.
Speaker 3:Praise God for that. Praise God for that. So I appreciate you so much for that. Okay, so, moments of doubt, we all have those, yeah, and they can feel real heavy. Right, I'm going to fight one accident, share a vulnerable time when you questioned your purpose, what pulled you from that dark place and who was that lifeline for you?
Speaker 2:So questioning purpose. So I think, from honestly, after the suicide attempt at 20, it wasn't so much a questioning purpose for me at that point, jacqueline, so it wasn't so much a questioning purpose for me at that point, jacqueline. What it was was questioning my ability to live up to it. So I have, my business has definitely evolved over the past 20 years. Even over the past 10 years my business has evolved. That has taken some real, real hard work.
Speaker 2:But I will tell you, I can tell you the conversation, and I've mentioned this to Earl before and I've shared it publicly I was approached by Steve Harvey's producers to work on a project and this was about, I guess, maybe seven years ago, and so the meeting had been set up and so I'm on the phone with them and they had already done their research, they knew numbers, they knew all of this stuff. And this is what he said to me, jacqueline he says on paper you have what it takes, but he says you're running a million-dollar business like a mom-and-pop shop. He says you don't see why we're even on the phone with you and we don't even know if you will ever see it.
Speaker 2:Now, for some people that may have broken them or made them feel like, oh man, I was so thankful Because, honestly, they weren't the first person to tell me that Friends like Earl and others have said that to me before about you're running. You know, you're not running this like what it is Right and it was so interesting. I did end up working with them at that time. But you know what happened? Two years ago I ended up working with them on a project. They came back because they had seen the ship. They remembered you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm the person who, jacqueline, I never feel like I know everything. I never feel like I know everything. I never feel like I can't grow. I never feel like I can't evolve.
Speaker 2:But the difficulty was me getting out of my own way, and I think a lot of people can relate to that. I did not want to be that guy who thought that he was worth this or that or you know, or you know was leaving people behind. I didn't want to be that. But what I didn't understand was, by devaluing the gift, I was in many ways diminishing it. So it wasn't until that conversation with people who had no invested interest in me these weren't friends trying to make me feel good or trying to, you know, blow my head up? They were literally saying you're running a million dollar business like a mom-and-pop shop and we don't know if you're ready for an opportunity like this. They literally said that to me, and so I was so appreciative of that.
Speaker 2:And when they came back to me to work with them on the GameStar, on the Family Feud game that's when I worked with them on the Target I was like, oh my goodness, they, they see me, they see the change, and it wasn't a matter of anything. But this is what we like to offer you or you, that's what it was. And so that was it for me and, I think, for anybody tackling. I hope they're open enough to realize that a lot not everybody is out to break them down. Some people are there to break you open, and that was a break you open moment for me that helped me to better understand what I could do if I was willing to open myself up to it.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:You know what. This time last year I was kind of like in that same boat. Everything that I do, I try to do it with excellence, right and so. But I do it so well that I, like my friend Mel and Dr Bell, and a lot of people tell me I make it look so easy, so easy, and my turnaround time is bar none, right, like I could get it to you in 20 seconds, and I used to always. Well, it ain't gonna take me nothing but five minutes, you don't have to give me anything for it. And dr bell must stop me one day. And she was like you have to stop doing that, like you literally have to stop doing that. What you're giving people is worth so much and you're not charging them anything. And if you keep doing that, you're going to keep feeling like you're being used, which in all actuality, you know, I know that I'm supposed to be used and I would just take it as someone. You know, I'm just someone, I'm just so. But no, it's time for you to reap.
Speaker 3:And I remember I got my first contract to speak um at uh, actually at the, the transitional living facility at the DCFS agency that I emancipated from, and the CEO, her name is Malia Arnett, and ChildLink Shout out good plug, number one agency in Illinois. I was with them since I was 13 years old I emancipated at 21. She took me under her wing, you know, allowed me to be her assistant, her office assistant, and within a year I moved up to executive assistant to her and to the ED, to executive director. So I sat in board meetings, I attended these meetings, I did the grant writing, I did everything. They taught me everything, right.
Speaker 3:So when it became time for me to want to go back to speak and to do a summit with the girls at the program, she said, well, how much are you charging? And I said I'm not charging anything. She said, well, call me back when you have a contract gram. She said, well, how much are you charging? And that's why I'm not charging anything. She said, well, call me back when you have a contract. So I was like what, okay? So then, of course, you know, I done looked up, I didn't get the contract. Boom, bam, okay. So I put down. I'm gonna tell you what I put down. I put down 1500. Right, I'm like this is awesome, I'm gonna make 1500, bam. All I gotta do is go there for four hours and speak and make 1500. I thought I was like, okay, this is it. She said the budget for a speaker is 5000. She said, make this editable. So I made it edible. She. She paid me five thousand dollars to do a four hour speaking, engagement and workshop with the girls there. But also outside of that she bought 25 books for me to sign.
Speaker 3:And so it's like you may not see your worth but other people do. And even with me pivoting my business now to brand strategizing and marketing, I still didn't see my worth until I had a conversation with one of the people that I partner with now, dr Janelle, and she was like I just paid somebody $6,000 for the same thing that you're charging twenty one hundred for, so I'm just going to pay you six thousand. So we limit ourselves and we limit our worth because we're scared that if we price too high that we won't get the people or we won't get the clientele. But I'm a firm believer now today that if you cannot afford it then you're not my client and that's okay and that's totally fine. But I just refuse to lower what I charge or lower my worth, because a lot of times when you price.
Speaker 3:That crab in a bucket. That's what you receive, and usually the people with all the problems and the headaches are the crabs in the bucket. It's never the people who will pay. What you're worth that's going to give you the most problem will pay what you're worth. That's going to give you the most problem.
Speaker 3:So always, always, value your gifts, because the your inheritance from god is the gift that he give you. That is your inheritance. People like, oh, I'm gonna get all these riches and god, he promised me that. Yeah, he promised it to you. It's inside of you. He already gave you everything you need. All you have to do is believe it, receive it and then replenish it and sow it into the earth and it's going to come back to you. It's going to come back to you through the work that you give, because what they say, a man that don't work, he don't eat. So obviously, the things that you put out into the universe, the gift that God give you, he will supply all your needs through those gifts. So that's why I don't care if I don't know something, cyrus, and nobody wants to help me. Guess what? I'm going to go out, I'm going to figure out how to do it, and then I'm going to do it to excellence, and then I'll put a price tag on it.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly.
Speaker 3:I'll put a price tag on it and I'm going to say thank you. Thank you Because I could have hired you to do this, or I asked you to do it, or I asked you for help and you were so caught up in who you are and who you don't want me to be that you tried to block that blessing. But I have that sense of like you said, I'm always willing to learn. I'm always my mind is always open and optimistic and I'm willing to listen and I'm willing to learn from people with wisdom. Key word, cyrus there is wisdom. Right Is wisdom Because we got a lot of times.
Speaker 3:We love and respect people because they're older, because they've been through so many things. Right, we want to listen to them and what they have to say. Right, because they're older, we feel like they've been here long enough. They should know Well me, my perspective, and correct me if I'm wrong. I look at it from all angles. Right, a whole 18360.
Speaker 3:Right, how were you growing up? Versus how are you right now? How is your heart right now? The things that you've done in your life, where has it gotten you? Okay, are you telling me not to go the path you went, or am I listening to a toxic person, right, who is not in a place where they should be. They're trying to counsel me to go down that same path Because that's not going to happen, right? So I'm going to listen, but I also listen and I discern, and I listen for the wisdom of what's being told to me, and if it sounds like it's something that God would do, you know what I'm saying. If it sounds like the word, then I'm with it, but if it sounds like some mess, count me out.
Speaker 3:I don't care if you, 80 years old, giving me this advice. If it's the wrong advice, god, I am a child of God and he's going to let me know. Mm-mm, mm-mm, you want your God? I'm like Willy Wonka I need my ticket. Okay, I want to be at the gate. I want to get in the gate with my ticket and I got tunnel vision. Yeah, tunnel vision. And that leads me to the next thing, about inspiration from others. Okay, so we already talked about your grandma, right, and the fact that you lost your grandma, and she was someone who, uh, inspires you and who still inspires you. Um, thinking about lessons today, right? Um, and and things that she may have taught you other than what we've talked about already. What lessons did she teach you that keeps you guided today? That keeps you focused?
Speaker 2:you know, I think one of the biggest ones is it took me a while to actually believe and that was, uh, my infinite possibilities. You know, I remember growing, growing up and her telling me Cyrus, you know, if you apply yourself, you can do anything. And I, you know, I think, I think at the time I thought well, everybody says that. You know, whether it's true or not, Excess material yeah.
Speaker 2:So I thought I said anything and she said anything. She said if you work hard, you can do anything, and you know what she's right Now. The caveat to that is it may not happen in the timeframe that you want it to, it may not even happen in the way you envision it, but that anything is not even really about you. It could be anything that could be a benefit and service to others, and I think that's what I've I've really stayed with for myself is to realize that that things take time.
Speaker 2:I look at Joseph. You know Joseph had that dream about what he would become, but that was not something that happened overnight. He had to go through things. He, that was not something that happened overnight. He had to go through things. He was betrayed, he was lied on, but it happened and he never let go of that. And I think that's the big thing for me, that I've been kind of thinking for myself is that things take time and you have to really you know someone in my circle says a lot to trust the process, and I think that is so true. You have to really. You know someone in my circle says a lot to trust the process, and I think that is so true, you have to be willing to trust the process and not give up on the thing that's been given to you.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely. I can agree with that as well. A lot of times we have to believe that in order to receive the blessing, we have to be the blessing. In order to be the blessing, we have to believe in ourselves and believe in god more. Um, so, absolutely now. Art, art, art. You know I'm gonna touch on everything. So you are an artist and there's a healing power in art, and I saw your work. You're phenomenal. Um, can you describe a piece of your work that came straight from a place of pain or loss, and what does that piece mean to you deep down?
Speaker 2:yeah, I love this and the. That's an easy answer. The real me is the piece. I did it. That's my last suicide attempt and it's a picture of me picturing myself as a boy with a single tear running down his face.
Speaker 2:And when I did that piece, I'm sure for people who were so used to seeing me always smiling and that seemed odd. But then when they found out, because a lot of people of course didn't know about what happened to me, I didn't tell them about it. And you know, when I first back from new york to mississippi, but when I started sharing that to me became not only part of my testimony but also part of my healing, of my freedom. And I use it actually again as I use my platform, and I love the fact you said the healing comes through it, because I think, especially for young people, young men, when I go to schools I let them know look, it's okay to not feel okay, it's okay to you know to to feel the things you feel.
Speaker 2:The thing is to realize that that doesn't have to be the end of your story and I think you know it doesn't mean every day is going to be great. You know I am, you know what I consider a very happy person. I'm a person who is very blessed. But my family has had some challenges and of course that's going to impact me.
Speaker 2:My mother had some health challenges this year. My brother had some health challenges this year. You know, and you know we've had I think seven deaths in our family this year. You know, and just had know we've had I think seven deaths in our family this year, you know, and just had lost a cousin last week. So of course there will be things that will weigh you down. But I tell people, give yourself time to acknowledge that, acknowledge it, to be able to take the time you need away. You don't feel like you have to run away from it, but also realize you don't have to stay stuck there, that joy really can come in the morning and that's one of the big things that, especially after my grandmother died, that I really embraced I think that's wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
Speaker 3:Now, what heartfelt message do you want to leave for the next generation of creators and how can they chase their dreams while honoring the sacrifices of those who came before them?
Speaker 2:I could not say it any better than my grandmother, jacqueline anything is possible if you want to do the work and I will say this too if you're willing to have the faith and patience as well. I think that's the big thing. I think you know anything. You know we've all heard that saying, and I will say this too if you're willing to have the faith and patience as well, I think that's the big thing. I think you know anything. You know we've all heard that saying that anything worth having is worth waiting for, right. I mean, that is so true.
Speaker 2:And I think in the world we live in today which is really a catch-22, we live in such a fast-paced world that we expect everything to happen now, we want everything to happen overnight, and if it doesn't, then we let go of it. Well, for me, people who do that, they're not actually passionate about it, they're not actually people who are devoted to it. If you're willing to do something that you truly are passionate about, you're willing to take the time that is necessary, you know, you're willing to learn the things you need to learn, you're willing to grow, you're willing to learn from the setbacks and to keep moving forward. And I think, for people who want to do that. Not only will they be able to honor those who came before them, they'll be able to be an inspiration to other people too absolutely.
Speaker 3:Now, this is the part of the segment um that, if you noticed, I never read your bio, right, because with with my show, I don't read the bios, because the bios is kind of like a cloud of things, right, right, and I want people to really get to know you as a person, you as who you are, because with this show, I just feel like ComEd is a bill that comes to me every month, right, but I'm nothing but that number to them. They don't know Jack, well, they don't know Marvis Cox, because that's a name to be only, but they don't know. They don't know him, right, to be only, but they don't know. They don't know him right, but if they took the time to talk to them, to ask them those questions, right, then they will get to know the person behind the number. So I wanted the the audience to get to know the person behind the number. But now I'm going to read your mini bio and you tell me, after having this conversation with me, what's one more thing you would add to it. Okay, so I'm going to read it to you.
Speaker 3:Cyrus Ripp is a media personality. Editor in chief of Conversations Magazine, author, social media influencer, brand strategist, publicist and top 100 Amazoncom reviewer Since 2003, he has built the Conversations brand into an internationally recognized force that not just shares the stories of others but is making a difference in the way that people see themselves and what is possible. Over two decades, webb has been growing his brand, celebrating 20 years as the host of Conversations Live radio show, interviewing over 12,000 guests, and 18 years as a leader of Conversations magazine. Additionally, webb has also been expanding his relationship with Amazon, producing content for the platform, including being an on-air personality for Amazon Live. He is also the author of the inspirational books Power your Life with the Positive and the words. I Choose to Live by, the poetry book my Journey in Heiku, as well as the business book Minding your Business, all available on Amazoncom. For more information, contact Cyrus Webb at wwwcyruswebbcom. Give me one adjective that would describe you and then I will give you one.
Speaker 2:Determined.
Speaker 3:Trailblazer. Oh, I like that one Trailblazer. You are an impact to so many people, as well as myself. I've only been in the podcasting game probably about a year, okay, and you have such an impact, positive impact, on so many people, cyrus, and you are truly, truly, truly deserving of every blessing that God has for you, truly, truly deserving of every blessing that god has for you, and I'm so glad that all three of your attempts you failed miserably. God bless, yeah, god bless that. And you just, you know I don't have to tell you to keep going, because you're gonna do it anyway, but keep going. Of course you ain't gonna listen to me who am I? But I just, you know, I've always told you that I have great respect for you. Just keep going, man. You are so awesome and I'm so, so blessed to have you to grace not just grace my platform, but also share some things that I have had exclusive access to because I asked the right questions.
Speaker 2:All right, well, look. Thank you again, jacqueline, for the invite. Really appreciate it, and congratulations to you on what you're building with your platform as well. I mean, and as you said, I feel the same way about you. You're definitely making an impact, you're making a difference, and I think you're showing other people what's possible, and I think that's the big thing for all of us. Thank, I think you're showing other people what's possible and I think that's the big thing for all of us.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much, and now I'm going to conclude with prayer, and then we're going to go out with Mariah Carey Make it Through the Rain. Heavenly Father, we just want to take a moment to thank you for this beautiful opportunity to share with such a powerful, powerful, powerful conversation. We're grateful for the insights and stories that have touched our hearts today and, as we wrap this up, may your peace be filled. May your peace fill the hearts of everyone who's listened and those who will listen to this show. Let those messages of love and resilience really just sink in. Lord God, guide us as we move forward, helping us take these lessons out into the world.
Speaker 2:Amen. Thank you, tessa, I appreciate it.
Speaker 3:No problem, and we're going to end right now with, through the Rain, everybody. It's been a pleasure. You guys have a great, wonderful rest of your day.
Speaker 1:Thank you when you get caught in the rain With nowhere to run.
Speaker 1:When you're distraught and in pain, without anyone, when you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes, and you feel so far away that you just can't find your way home. You can get there alone, it's okay, won't you say, yes, I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to mend. And every time I feel afraid, I hold tight to my fate and I live one more day and I make it through the rain. And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in. You will arise safe and sound. So keep pressing on, step by step, and you'll find what you need to breathe in what you say I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to mend.
Speaker 1:And every time I feel free, I hold tight to my faith and I'll live one more day Bye. There's nothing you can't face. And should they tell you, you'll never pull through. Don't hesitate, stand tall and say, yeah, yeah, I can make it to the right. I can stand up once again On my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to match. And every time I feel afraid I'm all tied into my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain. I can make it through the rain and then I won't forget. I can make it through the rain and send the ones back out. And I have one more day I can make it.
