Listen Linda! Hosted by Jacquiline Cox
Music commentary
Listen Linda! Hosted by Jacquiline Cox
Finding Home After Trauma
The caterpillar must die before the butterfly can emerge. This profound truth anchors "Jane's Journey," Dr. Audrey Ann Moses' powerful sequel to the bestselling Christian novella "Dead Girl Walking."
When we last met Jane Doerr, she stood at a crossroads – finally free from her abuser but still carrying the weight of fear, trauma, and a lifetime of rejection. Now pregnant with her second child and determined to protect her daughter Ruth, Jane makes the brave decision to leave everything behind. With nothing but a binder full of "Jesus papers" from her mentor Mrs. Johns, Jane boards a plane to Beaufort, South Carolina, to live with a sister she barely knows.
Throughout our conversation, Dr. Moses reveals the delicate balance she struck in portraying Jane's spiritual growth alongside her very human struggles. The relationship between Jane and her young daughter Ruth illuminates the book's deepest theme – breaking generational cycles of pain. Where Jane's own mother offered no love or protection, Jane commits to showing Ruth unconditional love, even as she navigates the uncertainty of starting over.
The scripture 2 Timothy 2:15 emerges as Jane's spiritual compass, challenging her to "study to show herself approved" as she builds a new identity beyond "Dead Girl Walking." Yet perhaps the book's most challenging aspect is Jane's wrestling with forgiveness – that "hard pill to swallow" that requires divine intervention to truly embrace.
Dr. Moses doesn't shy away from difficult truths about toxic relationships, the struggles of single parenthood, and the importance of establishing boundaries even with family. Her narrative reminds us that healing isn't linear and transformation takes time, but with faith and supportive community, we can indeed become the people God designed us to be.
Ready to continue Jane's powerful story? Purchase your autographed copy of "Jane's Journey" at TransitionLifeForYou.com, where you'll also find the first book in this moving series. What parts of yourself need to die before your own butterfly can emerge?
There's a story inside you, but for years it's been silenced by fear, procrastination and not knowing where to start. You've survived storms, you've walked through valleys and now it's time to turn your pain into purpose and your story into a book. This is your moment. Welcome to the 21 Day Author Boot Camp, where aspiring writers become published authors in just three weeks. You don't have to do it alone. You just have to say yes. Turn your testimony into a title, Turn your journal into a journey, Turn your story into a book that outlives you. The 21 Day Author Bootcamp Enrollment is open. Visit wwwlisten. Linda presents 1.com to sign up. Spaces are limited. Financing available.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, book club family and everybody that is on my facebook, my youtube linkedin, who's listening in from iheart, spotify, pandora, amazon music. Thank you all for joining us today. Uh, we want to welcome you back to our listen linda book, I'm your girl, dr Jacqueline Cox. Okay, amen, amen, amen to God. And tonight I'm trying to get you know, still trying to get into that rhythm. I'm used to it, right, yeah, but it got a good ring to it. Right, got a good ring to it. So I'm Dr Jacqueline Cox and today, used to it, right, yeah, but it got a good ring to it. Right, got a good ring to it, dr Jacqueline Cox.
Speaker 2:And today we're diving into the sequel to our very first pick of the Listen Learn the Book Club, the best-selling novella Dead Girl Walking. Now Dr Audrey Ann brings us Jane's journey, picking up Jane Doerr's story where the first book left off. I can't wait to see how she takes us deeper into Jane's world. But before we start, I always have to open with prayer. So let us, father, thank you for gathering us again around your word and the power of story as we step into Jane's next chapter, grant us open hearts, thoughtful questions and a spirit of community. Bless Dr Adrienne and every reader here. Let this time refresh our faith and sharpen our hope in jesus mighty name. Okay, amen. So for those who don't know you, dr adrian which is hard not to know you if they know me, honey, because you, me and you, we connected at the hip but for our new folks, can you tell people who you are, what you do?
Speaker 3:yes, um, I am Dr Adrienne Moses and I am a Christian life coach, an author. I don't know how many times God has blessed me to be a bestseller, but I appreciate him and that blessing and award-winning for some of my writings. I spend a lot of time collaborating with Ms Listen, linda, dr Jackie Cox, and I really appreciate her. I live in Greenwood, south Carolina, and I am, like I said, I'm a Christian life coach and I'm an author and I'm retired United States Navy and so I just enjoy life. I have my beautiful garden and I spend a lot of time in there, me and Jesus.
Speaker 2:And so I just enjoy life, amen, amen. Now we're going to dive into, we're going to kind of get a little context. So dead girl walking ended with Jane at a crossroads, free from her, but she was still carrying fear and grief. Now Dr Arden, still carrying fear and grief. Now, dr Irene, how did you decide exactly where to pick up Jane's story and Jane's journey and what felt most important to show first in her new life to you?
Speaker 3:Well, I actually picked it up where I left her off at, which was making a decision and preparation. Well, in all of my books, as all of you know, and at the end of my book, whatever is at the end of my book, that's how I start the next book and I may change a few things just to kind of make it come up to date or whatever. But at the end of Dead Girl Walking, she was making the decision to move and she had contacted. Well, her sister contacted her, which helped her to make that decision. And so her sisters were.
Speaker 3:People use the word estranged, which I still don't understand why, because to me estranged means that you're like angry or something. But they weren't angry, they was just raised wrong. They weren't raised to be close, their parents did not raise them to be close. So what happened is they just kind of all went their own way, but she was the one that was the mistake. You know how some people say that oh, he was the mistake, god don't make mistakes. And it took her to be grown to realize that, because she was never taught that God did not make mistakes. So it ended that ended with her making the decision to move and Jane's journey opened with her making the preparations to move. So everything is in place, everything is set up, and Jane's journey and dead girl walking. She was going to get the train, you know. So she was going to get the train and go to Beaufort. But there was a, there was a switch at the beginning of Jane's journey and I might read a little bit of that for you.
Speaker 2:Good, because that was going to be my next question. So with chapter two it opens with feeling slightly nauseous, but not sick, then quietly thanking God that her abuser was behind bars. Now, that blend of bodily queasiness you know women, we know spiritual relief that kind of echoed her trauma and her resilience. Yeah, how did you craft that openness thing to connect back to Jane's dead girl days while pointing us towards her new hope?
Speaker 3:she, her husband, was very abusive and basically, you know, as wives, you know both of us are wives and so as wives, or even as girlfriends, but especially as wives, we don't ever like to say our husbands raped us. You don't ever like to say that because it just nullifies the whole idea of marriage. But in her case, her husband was very mean to her and he was drunk and he was abusive, like I said. He was abusive, like I said, and he, he, he made her yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:You know he raped her and and so as a result of that she got pregnant. So they already had one child and she was always shielding herself and her child from him. And so now you know, she's pregnant with another child, but in the meantime he does end up, because of the abuse, a neighbor called the police and called DSS, and so he was taken out. Actually he was taken to jail and she was able to have some relief and she was able to get the help that she needed. So so the. So chapter two does begin with her feeling a little nauseous, because now she's far enough along in her pregnancy that she is definitely pregnant, she and she is dealing with that and dealing with trying to pack up, to move and dealing with a lot of other things that are going on in her life. So, yeah, she, she woke up a little nauseous and and that chapter just goes on to talk about again the relationship with her and one of her mentors, mrs Johns, who was her savior. You know, we always say we all have an angel. Well, mrs Johns was Jane's angel and she took care of Jane and she took care of her daughter, ruth, and took her out of that dangerous situation, ruth and took her out of that dangerous situation. So on this particular day she was getting dressed to go to church with Mrs Johns and she didn't want to be late, but she was feeling kind of wheezy and then, you know, she had to get her daughter up. You know how that is. So you know that's kind of what she was talking about, you know.
Speaker 3:And then she was talking about in that chapter chapter, what the preacher. The preacher was saying that even though we have bad people in our life, we still have to forgive them. And I know and that's a hard pill to swallow, you know it's a hard pill to swallow, you know it's. It's like, it's like having this size where's my camera. It's like having this size capsule. You know that we got to put in down in our throat and get it down, because it's we're saying God, why do I have to forgive these people that have treated me so horribly all my life? And that's what the preacher was preaching about. And so she was trying to soak all of that in. And he was also preaching about, you know, just loving on people regardless. You know the Bible says love our enemies, yeah. And so you know she was just trying to swallow all of that at the same time that everything else was going on.
Speaker 2:I can feel her on that, honey, because you know God's still working on me. There's some things. Look, god's telling me you got to forgive these folks and I be trying, I really do, I be trying Every time. I try and I forgive them. Here they come with something else or bring this stuff back up and it's like why don't these people just go away?
Speaker 3:But you know what it's like when Satan knows what his job is. I tell people this all the time and I have to tell myself Satan is very clear on his assignment and he makes sure that he does his assignment perfectly every time. And so what we have to know is that he is not going to miss a beat. If we give him a space, that little pinhole space, to get into our heads, he's going in there and he's going to make us crazy. So what we have to do is to just make sure we are on our assignment, because Jesus is on his assignment, and so we just have to let jesus do his job, you know, so we have. I mean, you know, I'm 70 years old and I I'm learning. I learned it, I learned it, but I still have to practice it every day. You know, let me just punch him one time, you know, but um, but the lord is like I got this and so.
Speaker 3:And jane had to learn that, because nobody had ever taught jane that in her entire life, you know, and she was so tired of trying to fight for herself when her siblings didn't fight for her, her parents didn't fight for her. You know, her siblings or her parents was the bulk of her problem, yeah, you know. And then she had to deal with problems at school and then she married somebody that she thought loved her men and women. You both know how that is because men have married women that they thought loved them and come to find out women just wanted them for what they had or what they could provide. You know so. Yeah, so you know she, she had to learn that there is this man, above all men, that will love her and that will take care of her if she just allow him to, you know. And so she's going through and she's thinking about all of this in her head as she's going through. You know so now she's learned.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to get into. When Jane watched little Ruth sleep her two middle fingers was a constant comfort. Now in this book, Jane's identity as a mom deepens. How did you build on the Ruth-Jane dynamic from Dead Girl Walking and what new layers did you want readers to see in their bond together, Ruth and Jane?
Speaker 3:okay, so Ruth is Jane's first child and, um, and you know, most, most mothers have a special bond with their first child, but Ruth, but Jane was the last child of her mother and Jane and her mother had no relationship at all. Now, I mean, they made sure she had food to eat and they found a rag or two to put on her so she didn't have to walk the street naked, but basically they had no love, no compassion. No, there was no, nothing between them and her. You know, there was nothing between her and her mother, no kind of bond or her father. You know, I was my father's baby girl. So even when things weren't working well between my mother and I, I had that safety, those wings that I could go under with my dad. But she had neither you know.
Speaker 3:And so when she had her daughter, she said that she would forever make sure that her daughter knew that she was loved and and and. So when she was watching her daughter she said her daughter always suck her two fingers. And I know one of my sons did I can't remember if the other one did as much and a couple of my nieces, you know, they suck those two, these two fingers, or either these two fingers, you know, and it was like the comfort for her. You know, um, she said, like even when she was little, um, she didn't always have to give her a bottle to put her to sleep.
Speaker 3:You know, she, once she was tired, you know she, she knew she was tired when she would see her sitting in the corner or walking around sucking her fingers, you know, and so she knew she was tired and she would love on her and get her to bed. So, and she felt like at that moment that even though Ruth was a baby she was like three years old, she said she felt that Ruth knew that there was changes being made, and then she knew that there was stress and she was feeling that stress. As hard as her mother tried to keep it from her, she was still feeling that stress and so that was her comfort, you know, absolutely. She was saying she wanted, she wanted to shield her daughter from feeling. You know the stress that she was feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think all kids, even adults, we have that soothing mechanism that we run to right. Mine is Pepsi, I don't know what yours is, but mine is Pepsi and Duke's. When he was a baby he would actually pinch people's elbows and that was his soothing mechanism and to this day we can be walking and he would just if we're going like on a walk or a hike or something. Even yesterday he's holding on there. No, he still pinches my elbow. That's just what, that's his thing, and it used to hurt when he was a baby, but it don't hurt as much now. But I think babies have like superpowers, yeah Right, but now he does that and that's his soothing mechanism.
Speaker 2:I think babies have like superpower strength often because it hurts. But now he does that and that's his soothing mechanism and that's what keeps him calm when he's like open and stuff. So I definitely understand that. Sucking the fingers I used to suck my thumb. My sister used to suck her thumb when she was like 17. Right, so we all have that thing, that we kind of, yeah, we all have something and, like you said, yours is your garden, right, that's your go-to. Mine is Pepsi, that's my go-to. Oh, yes, I definitely related to that. It just felt good to kind of see her blend and bond with her baby more, because she was so distracted in dead girl walking that her baby was always with Miss John, so bad.
Speaker 2:I thought about Ruth, except that she existed right, or she was like with the baby. Her baby was always with Miss John.
Speaker 3:I'm listening to you, but for some reason my phone is talking at the same time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know how to turn it off. Yeah, just come out of Facebook. Come out of Facebook. Yeah, so OK, that's bad. Oh, there we go, I fixed it OK, yeah, so in chat let's.
Speaker 3:Let's sorry y'all it's not very mechanically. And well, what is it technologically? She said mechanic yeah, I'm sorry, I'm back now.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're back, I'm back. So in chapter three Ms John slipped James a Jesus paper on 2nd Timothy 2 and 15. That's a tool that she leaned on a lot in the story. Now you introduced that twice late in the first novella. Here comes the road map. Map right. What made you expand it into defining a defining thread for jane's spiritual journey this time around?
Speaker 3:um, so she, you know, uh, mrs. Well, first of all, for those of you who have not read Jane's Journey, which you got to read Jane's Journey, I mean Dead Girl Walking, because the one of the ways she learned about Mrs Johns is Miss Johns was the neighbor that came around leaving what what Jane called Jesus papers on everybody's doors, leaving what Jane called Jesus papers on everybody's doors, and what they actually were were some sort of a religious tract or Bible studies or something that she would leave, you know, and that was her ministry. You know, she was just trying to introduce everybody she could to Jesus and so that was her ministry. And, jackie, while I'm talking, can you find that? And so they could hear what it says actually, and so, so that's when, when, in this chapter, she was reading it and she said was reading it, and she said that. She said the pastor taught about studying about the word of God, and he said that he talked about Timothy and how Timothy had to study, you know, to show himself approved, to show that he was worthy.
Speaker 3:And she was trying to figure out why does somebody have to show themselves worthy, you know, and she just couldn't figure that out. And I know a lot of times we all go through that where we're trying to figure out why do we have to show ourselves worthy? You know, of what we know and what we don't know. You know. So that was really hard for her to understand. Again, she didn't. She was not introduced to Bible or Jesus or anything until she met Mrs Johns. So you know she had never picked up a Bible in her entire life. So you know. So she didn't know all of these different people that Mrs Johns was um connecting her with.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and you want to find that scripture? Yes, ma'am, okay, I'm about to put the scripture up, um, for people to see it. Um, so give me one second Okay. It so give me one second Okay. And I wanted you to kind of, I wanted to ask you, like, what made you expand it into a defining thread for her journey this time around?
Speaker 3:Because she, she was still struggling about what kind of relationship she was going to have with God, and Mrs Johns was telling her the way to know who Jesus is and the way to have a relationship as she was with her with these studies was that she had to study herself. She had, she had to. She had to learn how. You know what the Bible actually says. So, and and she was telling her that she had to learn not to be afraid. She had to learn that the Bible was her friend and that Jesus was her friend and that she did not have to be ashamed of learning these things or even talking about them to other people, you know. So that was the basis she was learning, and this was one of the scriptures. It was Mrs John's favorite and it eventually became one of her favorites as well.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. She went back to that scripture a lot, and here's the scripture right here at the Bible yeah, so can you.
Speaker 3:And which version is this one? It says do you best. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. So meaning that go ahead, Jackie.
Speaker 2:The new international version New international, okay.
Speaker 3:So you know. Basically, like I said, it's saying that you know, learn, learn it, learn the scriptures for yourself and then don't be ashamed that you want to have a relationship with God. Don't be ashamed to tell other people about God. Don't be ashamed to even talk to the people that don't like you, your, you know your family, your family and just tell them. The reason I'm not acting crazy around you all is because I'm learning to have a relationship with Christ and he's keeping me calm. And that's what we have to sometimes. We just have to tell people look, if it wasn't for Jesus, and just walk away. Just say if it wasn't for Jesus and just walk away. Just say if it wasn't for Jesus, you know, and just shake your head and just be like just don't talk to me no more. You know so because because you know I'm trying to be approved.
Speaker 2:You know amen look like I always say right, I just when I get up there, I just want my ticket to scan at the gate, I don't want no problems with the law up there. So I really do my best. I really do because I don't want to be like them people, like the people that was at the Willy Wonka chocolate factory that couldn't get in because their ticket don't scan. I want my, I want my stuff to scan, I want to make it through the gate. I know you don't want no problem. We don't want to. We still got to push through it. Y'all, look, I'm with y'all. I'm with y'all. I'm not all the way there, but I promise you I'm with you. I'm with y'all. I know all the way there, but I promise you I'm with you, I'm trying. I'm trying. At 36 years old, lord Jesus, I am trying my best.
Speaker 3:So we're going to get into the program. Listen to this real quick. At the end of chapter three, what she did was she took all the Jesus papers that Mrs Johns had given to her and she put them in a binder to take with her on her journey, you know. And so she had them all in a binder and she was saying she said, while at Mrs Johns, I decided to put them in a binder so they wouldn't get lost and I could read them later. The more she pranced around her house singing her Jesus music Now she's talking about Mrs John's. She's saying the more Mrs John's prances around her house singing her Jesus music and reading her Bible loud enough for me to hear and listen to her talk about different things, the more important I realized her papers were. They were talking about the things she was teaching me.
Speaker 3:And the more I listened to her and about Jesus and the more I listened to Dr Matthews tell me how I have to control. I have the control over what happens to me the more I begin to realize I didn't have to live the way I was raised. I begin to realize I don't have to be Jane Doerr, aka dead girl walking. I begin to realize I no longer had to be afraid of stepping away from my toxic, toxic family or my toxic husband. I realized that Jesus paved a way for me. I just had to be willing to walk it. Once I allowed myself to realize that and believe it. I knew me and Jane would be just fine. And believe it, I knew me and Jane would be just fine. You have to realize it. You have to read it, hear it, smell it, taste it. You know, touch it. But after all of that you have to allow yourself to accept it Absolutely.
Speaker 2:You have to allow it. Yes, lord, absolutely. I agree. We cannot. Yes, lord, absolutely I agree. We cannot say that we want these things and then, when god give them to us, we don't accept it, right? Yeah, I really love jane boyce in the story, has she just like her character and she reminded me a lot of me you guys like and how I talk. She talk a lot like me, talking about Jesus papers and Jesus music and all these things. Yes, they keep coming in. They know I'm live because they hear me talking, but they just keep coming through this door. Thank God for these beautiful backgrounds. Okay, compliments to the publisher. Y'all can't see them. Listen to the brand of our kids. Y'all can't see these baby kids. The kids behind me keep trying to come in.
Speaker 3:That's okay so we're gonna move right on.
Speaker 2:I said, hello, they gonna take over the whole show and I ain't got this is nothing. Y'all save me the segment. Okay, this is the list of little books. Catch them on another grad, okay. So, getting into your prologue, which was like one of the best parts of the book to me, and in session six it reminds us um, the caterpillar has to die first. That quote to this day I don't know if you might hear me like on some of my podcasts and stuff, while I always said a caterpillar, the caterpillar has to die first. I got that from you and the book. Just want to let y'all know I clipped that because I thought it was that. That one was so dynamic to me, just like I heard elephants don't swat flies. Same Same thing, like a very small sentence might have a very big impact. Now, going from that to Butterfly Image, it was powerful in Dead Girl Walking. How did you evolve it for the sequel showing Jane's further transformation?
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm. So in Dead girl walking, you know, she was, you know, just trying to figure it all out. And then she was, you know, trying to figure out her new life. So she, she's traveling now in Jane's journey. She's on her journey and she's traveling to her new life. You know, with her, with her sister, a new family and new adventures.
Speaker 3:But at the same time, you know, she is still really terrified because she doesn't really know her sister. Her sister is like way older than her. She doesn't really know her sister, she doesn't really know anything about the area she's moving to. Everything is new.
Speaker 3:But she just figured it can't be any worse than where she is. And she said worse comes to worse. If she ends up with no support there, that too can't be any worse than what she had, because she didn't have any support at home either, except for Mrs Johns and her counselor, dr Matthews, were her only support. You know she had no support from friends or family or anybody else. So she said the worst thing can happen is I end up with no support, you know, in this new place.
Speaker 3:But she was praying that God would give her blessings and that it would be a good new beginning for her. So, so, as she goes on, she's, she's, she's beginning to learn how to do things differently, you know, and she's beginning to. She's beginning to learn how she is evolving. And you know, caterp, caterpillars, they have to evolve into these big, beautiful butterflies. So so, jane's journey, she is still. She hadn't hatched yet. She's getting there, you know, but she is going through that process of of maturing into her new self and and away from Jane Doerr to Jane Burton, you know. So she's moving away from that life of Jane Doerr, you know, which, which you know is the name she was given by her parents absolutely.
Speaker 2:Now Jane wrestles with forgiveness, like forgiving her abuser right, while protecting Ruth and setting boundaries. Now, in a sequel, you can dive deeper into nuance. How did you balance Jane's growth in mercy with her need for safety, and what do you hope that readers can take away from that tension?
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I would be telling a really, really big fib if I said it was easy, because it's not easy. It's not. Jane is, you know. As far as I'm concerned, jane is a real person, you know.
Speaker 3:Jane's story is a real person, you know, and anybody that has had to make a drastic change in their life, them knows that when you're making that drastic change, you are going to have to allow yourself to trust people that you don't know.
Speaker 3:She has tried to trust the people she does know and they have turned on her every time. She did not know God at all and now she has this Mrs John's, um, jesus, lady, you know that that there's a man that loves her more than any blood brother or sister or mama or daddy could ever love her, and she's trying to figure out who he is and why should I believe you so? And her oldest sister? She is, that's where she's going to go to live who she hadn't seen except once in about, you know, 15 years, and so she's. The sister invited her to come and live with them and she accepted the invitation. But the entire time she's terrified because what happens if I get there and then they treat me bad or they drop me off on side the road or, but worse, don't even come and pick me up. You know, then, what you know.
Speaker 3:so her trust level was very, very, very minimal, and she had to learn how to hear Jesus telling her it's going to be all right, yeah, and to opening herself up to her sister. Now, what she didn't do that some people do is she didn't walk in there with an attitude.
Speaker 3:No, she did not, and her sister, tamara, did not meet her with an attitude. So that was a beginning that was perfect, because that beginning helped both of them to start to really learn each other, and so, and because of the way Tamara treated her, helped her to start learning how to trust others and to teach Ruth to trust. Well, you know how kids are. Ruth was three and soon as Ruth saw her cousin, she was gone. Soon as Ruth saw her cousin, she was gone. You know, and you know, you know how kids are. They just play with any kids, you know. And so Ruth was more open and it helped. It actually helped her mother to feel more comfortable. So, you know, we have to learn.
Speaker 3:I try to put learning lessons in all of my books, and this particular one is, excuse me, we have to learn how to just allow God to help us, to let other people help us. You know, we are terrified or we are just stubborn or whatever it is, and I don't need no help, you know. But yeah, everybody needs help and I don't need no help, you know. But yeah, everybody needs help, everybody needs love, everybody needs, everybody needs an arm around their shoulder and a shoulder to cry on if they need it. We just have to allow ourselves to do it. To be it to you know, we just have to allow ourselves, and sometimes that can be difficult.
Speaker 2:It used to be really, and I kind of a little bit still struggle with that today, and I think it's because of, first of all, it's rejection, then second, you know, I think it was it's probably because I've allowed people to come in, because if you're not fully in prayer and you don't ask God first and I used to always just jump without asking God, and it always have to discern who's really in your corner, and you got to pray on those and god will reveal it to you. So you know when you, when you allowing people to do it, you got to trust god and and you really have to know that whoever god sends is going to reveal itself.
Speaker 3:Um, it's going to reveal itself.
Speaker 2:I kind of struggle with allowing people to help me with things because of those just rejection I used to. I couldn't stand the word no. So somebody told me, no, I'm, I'll do it myself. Then forget it, and then I will learn how to do, and then I would do it effortlessly. But at the same time, you know, I pray to God for these gifts to be able to do things by myself. But then I always find myself drained because I can't.
Speaker 3:I couldn't trust people exactly exactly now, and I'm really I was just going to say that even in myself, you know as much. Thank you, miss Melanie. As much strength, hey, miss Carolyn, as much strength as I feel like I have learned to have, as much strength as I feel like I have learned to have, I still find myself sometimes in that space where it's like it's only just me. God, you know Ezekiel, if you remember the story about Ezekiel and he was running from Jezebel and he ran into the cave and God was like what you doing in there? And he said, well, it's only just me, by myself, I'm just the only one and I just and you know, he just complaining and whining and God was like shut up.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:What makes you think first of all? What makes you think you're the only one think first of all, what makes you think you're the only one? That's the first question I have. I have, I have people everywhere. You're not the only one you know. And so sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not the only one going through. Whatever it is I'm going through, and just like God is taking care of them, he can take care of me. Amen, if I, if I don't allow myself to be stubborn, if I don't allow myself to be so in myself, that I'm sabotaging my own blessing because I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I'm not allowing God to tell me what I need to do next. And so we, you know, we have to just chill, and that's what Jane was learning that she really doesn't have to do it. She's learning it. She has not learned it.
Speaker 2:She's learning that she, she, she's not alone in this world no no, she's not alone and getting back to Jane, I want to briefly go into the Lisa Thompson starting over poem. Right To that poem. I'm trying to pull it up right now because I want to read it. Yeah, it's on the front of the book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to read it. Yeah, it's in the front of the book. Yeah, so Lisa M Ferguson Thompson wrote this poem on September 26, 2023. And it's starting over. What will I face? Will it be a fresh start in a new place? Will it be new discoveries or a repeated past? I need to slow down and not move so fast. Am I starting with or without grace? Lord, slow my feet and steady my pace. My decisions are never my own. Lord, guide me and usher me into a new home, starting over. What will I face? Is it a fresh start in a new place? What will I face? Is it a fresh start in a new place? Go ahead. So, going into that. The book still leans on that poem, poetry frame, carol's first, first story. How did keeping that device help Jane's journey across both values?
Speaker 3:Say the last part again. You was breaking up. I couldn't hear.
Speaker 2:I said how did keeping that device, that poem, help Jane's journey across both values, journey across both?
Speaker 3:volumes. So, jane, when Lisa and I are Navy buddies, we met you know she's like one of my sisters because we've been together since our children were babies and she's a poet and I asked her to write a. I you know she knew the story of dead girl walking and um, so I asked her to write this poem about starting over and the reason I wanted to. I wanted the poem because I wanted um Jane to have something that would help her to to cross over that threshold. You know I wanted her because leaving dead girl walking and going into Jane's journey, like I said earlier, is a new life, a new adventure. It's new and I don't want her to continue to dwell on the past, although the past is there, she can't change it. You is there, she can't change this. You know you can't change your past, but and so it's there. But I wanted her to dwell more on what's happening to her now and in the future, as opposed to what happened to her. So I wanted her to always remember that this is a new starting point for her and, like when we went in the military, in the Navy more so than any of the other services we transfer every three years, most of the time, sometime every four, but, you know, every three years, you know, or four years, we are moving to a new place and we're doing the same job, but we're doing it.
Speaker 3:You know, yesterday I was doing my job in California. Today I'm doing my job, you know, in Louisiana, you know so, and you're with a whole new group of people, a whole new setting, a whole new town, a whole new everything. You know, the grocery store you used to go to in California doesn't exist in New Orleans, and you know so. Those are the things that you have to deal with. Well, with Jane it was going to be the same way. She is leaving the only place she has ever known and she's going to someplace she has never barely heard of, has ever known, and she's going to someplace she has never barely heard of. And I wanted her to use that as a starting point, um, for her new life, completely. So that's why I asked, um, miss Lisa, to write that poem for me, so that Jane would have that thread, that crossover over.
Speaker 2:So I know you say you were going to grace us with an excerpt. Can you read an excerpt from the book before we close out today, because I want to kind of give people just a kind of sneak peek into this wonderful book with this glorious color. Look at that color, ain't it beautiful?
Speaker 3:color, ain't it beautiful? Yes, so, so I'm gonna stick within um chapters one, two and three, absolutely. Um well, actually there was one thing I wanted to talk about. Um, she originally was going to catch the train, but then her sister, knowing she's pregnant, knowing she has a toddler, decided the train was not the answer, and so she wrote, she put her on an airplane and sent for her on an airplane, and she had never been on an airplane before. So that was another. You know this, this transition was full of firsts for her and it was full of different types of adventures for her you know.
Speaker 3:so I just wanted to kind of put that in there. But I wanted to read um, oh, let me go back to when we were talking about the pastor, you know, and the sermon that the pastor was preaching. It says today is our last day visiting her Mrs John's church before we move away. The preacher talked about loving and forgiving people even though you don't want to. You know, even though you don't want to. We talked about that verse. I just shook my head. I just shook my head. Mrs Johns patted me on the leg. The preacher must have saw me because he smiled as he said God does not expect us to be friends with everyone, not even family. He says God expects us to help people like he helps us and to forgive people when they are wrong, when they have wronged us. Because why should he forgive and love us if we don't do the same for others? When we were walking out, the pastor shook my hand and gave me a hug. He also gave the same for others. When we were walking out, the pastor shook my hand and gave me a hug. He also gave me the name of his friend who has a church in Beaufort. He said I will like it there and we'll be just fine. I told him I was keeping Mrs John's Jesus papers, so I'll be okay. He looked at Mrs Johns. She just smiled and we walked out because he didn't know what she was talking about about the Jesus papers.
Speaker 3:After we ate, I took Ruth to the park so she could enjoy herself for a little while. Even though it's a little bit chilly, she still loves running around in the park. She is getting bigger and bigger. I feel bad. She won't grow up around her dad or any of her family here in New Orleans or Mississippi.
Speaker 3:Dr Matthews said it's my responsibility to keep her safe, physically and emotionally, even if it means keeping her away from toxic environments. Hopefully one day I'll be able to take her around them without too much trouble, hopefully. So you know, not only is she having a transition, but Ruth is having a transition because Ruth is no longer going to be around. Her father is having a transition because Ruth is no longer going to be around her father. Ruth well, ruth didn't even really know her grandparents on either side, or aunts and uncles on either side, but it was still. Her heritage was being uprooted, as well as Ruth's, as well as Ruth, as well as James was, and she wanted to make sure that she took care of her, but she also had to make sure part of that taking care of her was keeping her away from people that were going to do her harm as opposed to good.
Speaker 2:Because she had to protect her baby at all costs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have to protect our babies and you see fathers doing it more and more now, which I'm happy for. You see fathers doing it more and more now because now some of these mothers are the toxic ones. And you see fathers taking their babies away from these mothers so that the baby you know don't are not harmed. You know, and, and I'm like, whatever needs to happen, happen so you can take, you know, raise these babies so that they can be productive adults, not end up locked up or dead somewhere because they had toxic mothers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you know, it gets so confused with this, the mindset of the society, not just today, but just really the last 30 years and the 60s and 70s, fathers were very prominent in the kids lives. But then, you know, a lot of things start happening and the fathers just start getting, you know, but people keep uh, never really look at the mindset of the mother. They're going through um, uh, what is it? Uh, not post-traumatic stress disorder, but um, what do you call it? Postpartum depression, and they're going through all these other things, trying to maintain everything as a single mom, or you know. And then they also daddy issues, mommy issues. They're not, they're not mentally stable to handle taking care of these kids by themselves. And so mix that along with hormonal and emotional issues. It's just a disaster waiting to happen and they're not fit. Yes and and. But the government feels like, oh well, since it's the mom, that's the best place for them. And that's not always the case, because that goes even into how we celebrate the parents. Right, you got, you got mother's day, and those days get overshadowed. I mean, gets, um, blew all up into this fantastic celebration, but then when we get to father's day, it's very, very tiny, and I think that's the reason why because you know, I'm a daddy's girl. I always been a daddy's girl.
Speaker 2:Um, everybody who know, read any of my literature, know me and my daddy. You know we were super close. We were straying for a little while but we got back super close. I always had a really good relation with my dad, despite everything that I had went through and me and my mom's were was never like that, but that's because she wasn't maternal, you know, she wasn't, she didn't have that. Um, she didn't, she didn't have that. And and that's where my daddy stepped up and you know.
Speaker 2:And so when we came out, I went when father's day came up, I mean, when mother's day came up and I said OK, I'm looking for, you know, boss, moms or moms or whatever. I got over a hundred entries, right, I had to pick and choose from, but when it came to fathers, I couldn't pull a teeth. It was, it was. So I was like you've got to be kidding me. So nobody has any. Like nobody has dad, um, like nobody has daddies, nobody has brothers, nobody had uncles, and I would just like you know what I'm just gonna do, most of them free. You know, I was like somebody needs to show the people that there are really good dads out here. There are really good dads out here. I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 3:to tell you, my husband really was proud of the article and the picture and everything. And my son I had showed it already to my youngest son that lives here. But my oldest son doesn't live here. His family came down this weekend and I showed it to him this morning. He was like, wow, this is nice, you know, because I wanted to try to do it and not tell them about it. You know, you know I was having a hard time pulling it together, but but you know I'm going to do more stuff for them.
Speaker 2:At least you thought about them. It's fun to people who you know. I just I couldn't wrap my head around all the great dads, all the great stepdads, all the uncles that that step in as father figures. You know, all the cousins, all you know, and I was like so nobody wants to celebrate them, but y'all would be quick to bring up y'all and y'all mamas. It was just, it was something else to see and I literally, literally, was calling people on the phone like please put your woo, woo, woo. I'm doing this magazine and it was. It was so phenomenal and to see and just to give it's a beautiful magazine, give the men something to see.
Speaker 3:Let me go get it so we can show it to them you got it?
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am, yeah it, and so we can so show it to them. You got it, yes, ma'am. Yeah, hold on one second, I have it, you don't have to leave, okay, yeah, so I have it here it is.
Speaker 2:It's a beautiful magazine, yeah it just made my husband so proud that he was on the front cover, but it just you know the words from his kids that were in there, the words from the wives and the people who nominated them and the nieces and everything, and it just we need to show our fathers that they are appreciated. Like they see mom all the time but the dad I just I'm glad you mentioned that. Like they see moms all the time but the dad I'm glad you mentioned that. But because there are some deadbeat moms out here who don't do what they're supposed to do for their kids, who drop them off to a level where we'll watch them and oh I need a break. Type mom. And I get it. Okay, I get it. I know I get it Because I wasn't always married.
Speaker 2:I was a single mom for four years, working three jobs with no car in the windy city, chicago, baby walking to work in winter storms, no food in my house, maybe spend night over foster mama house because I didn't have food. I had to choose between buying groceries and buying a bus car for work, so I did. But at the same time, if you got a father in your child's life, whether y'all together or not, should not stop you from allowing that dad to be a dad. It should not be a dad Exactly To keep the child away from the dad. You know telling the child oh, you shouldn't want to go over there because they got a new family. And you know, just like you support the fact that a father wants to be in the child's life, and that's all I'm saying, exactly, I'm so glad it's really good, There'll be a little bit about that in the next, and not in this book, but in the next book.
Speaker 3:you know which? We're not going to talk about the next book at all.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm going to ask you my next question, so let me just ask this question, then you just give me what you want. So we're looking toward book three, right? So if Jane's journey leaves us at a new beginning, what future chapters do you imagine for Jane?
Speaker 3:Well, jane is in school because one of the things she always wanted to do was be a teacher and she wanted to work with little kids, you know, and she wanted to work with kids with disabilities.
Speaker 3:So she is able to do that. Once she moved to Beaufort, south Carolina, with her sister and she enrolled in school and she's starting her education as an early childhood teacher and so that part is really going well for her. And and, like I said, she's just learning how to be learning who she knew, who know she. She just only uses Jane, but she doesn't. She's learning who is Jane Smith, who is Jane Burton, you know, and so so she's learning that now and and she's, you know, learning how to have a joyful life with her daughter. And. But she's also started school and she's, in the next chapters you'll see, you know, how she's having a relationship with her sister. Those are the things that she's looking at right now, you know, and, um, in the, in the next book, she just continues that evolution, turning into a beautiful butterfly yeah, I'm not gonna tell you no more.
Speaker 2:That was I mean this book. You guys, if you guys have not picked up james journey or dead girl walking, you can't get mad. You can purchase them from. But you can purchase them from this website right here. Transitional um, transition life for youcom and dr audrey, and we'll definitely, definitely make sure you have them. So if you don't have, autographed copy.
Speaker 2:If you order them from the website, you get autographed copies yes, and so if you, if you gotta read, the person which is dead girl walking is one of my favorite books of all time, my top 10. And then you got uh jane's journey, which is that beautiful color, although y'all can see it, but it's a magnificent cover. There you go.
Speaker 3:You know I'm going to tell you all this young girl called me up and said I'm doing your cover. I'm like what? But what actually happened was Miss Jackie she is phenomenal with digital stuff, you know and so she and I were talking and she created this just because we needed something for this trailer she was making, you know, and I saw it and I was like that is beautiful, that's the cover. And she's like, oh, I just did that. I wasn't really doing it for real. And I'm like, well, it's real now. Y'all see this beautiful. Where's my camera? Y'all see this beautiful cover. It's beautiful, you know. So, um, hey, get, get, get her to do your book covers. It's beautiful. So, um, she did a great job. Now I had a little girl. I know we get ready to hang up, but I just want you to see this one.
Speaker 3:I had a young girl in her 20s did this one for me, you know, and, and, and she, she did an awesome job. Her name is Kendra Davis. She lives in Augusta, georgia, and so if you live in Augusta Georgia somewhere and you need book covers, get in touch with me and I will get you in touch with Kendra. She's phenomenal, especially if she likes bright and beautiful butterflies, but she really likes dark and she knew I wanted a dark cover and so so she made this cover for me. So, um, her name is Kendra Davis, you can find her on Facebook and Instagram and she lives in Augusta, georgia, so if you need a book cover, let um, let me know and I'll reach out to her, for you.
Speaker 2:She is phenomenal because that first one, when I first saw that book cover, I was like, oh, this is good. And you said her name is.
Speaker 3:Kendra. Kendra K-E-N-D-R-A.
Speaker 2:Davis. Okay, and that's her IG and Facebook name.
Speaker 3:Her IG is a little bit different, but I'm sure it'll pop up. Yeah, but yeah, her Facebook name is her name and yeah, right, Yep, that's her, okay, so Davis.
Speaker 2:Hey Kendra, you did a phenomenal job and we are promoting your work right now. Yes, yes, yeah, and, and somebody we are promoting your work right now.
Speaker 3:Girl, yes, yes. And somebody that I knew I was telling them about the book. And so they was like, I want to read your book. And when I showed them the cover they was like, oh, I don't know. I said, hey, you want to read this book. You know, I named it, damn Girl Walking. But if people see down here it says what's in the name, and people, I don't write horror, horror stories, but this lady didn't know me so she was like, what is this about? And so then I pointed to what's in her name. And then you know, and she loved the book she it was, you know, she loved it.
Speaker 2:I loved it. I remember when I first watched and it was actually I want to go back to saying this it was actually the first choice for the Listener in the Book Club. It kicked everything off with Dr Audrey Ann was the first book. So I'm so, so grateful to have you come back and next week we will be speaking and kind of doing some some games, some teasers, but also hopefully we get a chance to interact with some of the book club members Members, that would be nice. I want to thank you again for coming and you know, like I always do, we got to close out in prayer.
Speaker 3:Yes, mm. Hmm, you want me to pray? Yeah, father, god, we thank you. We thank you for your grace and your mercy. We thank you for being forever and ever for us. Father, we ask that, as we go throughout this day, that you will allow a Mrs Johns or a Dr Matthews to reach out and touch us and help us to understand how important you can be in our lives if we just allow it. Our lives, if we just allow it.
Speaker 3:Father, I hope that you help us to reach out to someone, man or woman, boy or child, that is feeling like they are alone in this world, and we can let them know that not only do they have us, but they have you. So, father, I just thank you and I praise you. I thank you, father, for letting my writing reach ears that believe it's important enough to make them bestsellers, lord, and I thank you for just blessing me with the words that you want me to write. That's going to help somebody else. And, lord, god, I thank you for Miss Jackie. I thank you for all of her platforms. I thank you for her husband, who supports her unconditionally, father, and I thank you just for their boys as well, and I ask that you bless that household continuously and help them to be a light on their block and in their city for you. I thank you and I praise you for all these things, father, in the name of your son Jesus, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen. Thank you so much again, Dr. Audrey.
Speaker 3:Yes ma'am.
Speaker 2:Always a pleasure, Mama Audrey, to have you on the show.
Speaker 3:I love you.
Speaker 2:We are going to close out with the video to Dead, girl Walking and Jane's Journey. Have a great rest of your day, guys. All right.
Speaker 4:They called me Dead Girl Walking, but my name is Jane. In New Orleans, names carry weight. Mine was an anchor. Through abuse, despair, invisibility. I refused to drown. I'm learning to see myself through God's eyes, to hear my own voice above the noise, to write my own story page by page. I am Jane and I am rising. Dead Girl Walking. What's in a Name by Dr Adrienne Moses, available now. Discover the power of your true name.
Speaker 4:Each step I take is a testament to my resilience. Every word I write is a declaration of my strength. I am not defined by my past but by the woman I am becoming, jane, and I have been working on some strategies to help her build her sense of self-worth, self-identity and self-esteem. She has been making progress, slow but sure, especially in building her self-worth. She is realizing that she is worthy, even if no one else agrees. She is identifying immediate and long-term goals she would like to accomplish.
Speaker 4:Today I noticed an immediate difference in Jane. Her hair was styled nicely. Usually it's pulled back in a quick ponytail, no makeup but a little bit of lipstick, pearl earrings and necklace. She had on a simple dress that fit her nicely, with a pair of low-heel pumps. This time I wasn't able to keep my inside voice off of my face. She smiled hey there, dr Matthews. How are you doing? I'm well, jane. How are you doing? Good, I guess you almost did not recognize me when I walked in. I read in one of those books you gave me that I have to look the part I want to achieve. So that's what I plan to do from now on. Now, mind you, I did not throw away my jeans and things. I still like that look also. But when I'm conducting business I want to look like a businesswoman, not like a neighborhood girl.
Speaker 4:Mrs John has told me that God gives me permission to move any mountains that are in my way. Do you know that scripture Mark 11, 22, 25. She said mountains in the scripture could represent my obstacles. It says that if I tackle an obstacle in Jesus' name, it has no choice but to dissolve. Satan can't live in the same house where Jesus lives. You know Mrs Jonas is going to make sure.
Speaker 4:I know Jesus is the answer to turn every frown I have into a smile. If you have some questions in the corners of your mind and traces of discouragement and peace, you cannot find reflection of the old past. They seem to face you every day. There's one thing I know for sure that jesus is the way. Jesus is the answer for the world today. Above him there's no other. Jesus is the way.
Speaker 4:Jane, I see there are a few talents you have been hiding. You have a beautiful voice. I hope you use it more often. And yes, I love Andre Crouch's music. He was one of my favorite gospel singers. Yes, that song is an affirmation of how to create a Jesus atmosphere around your life. Well, I'm doing something you are probably not going to like being a Christian at all.
Speaker 4:I filed for a divorce. It will be final in a couple of months. I filed for a divorce. It will be final in a couple of months. I decided I would not live my life in fear of never being able to be more than what I was. You was. Yes, ma'am, I was. I have learned. I am somebody special and I am worth more than I've been taught and treated like all of my life, and definitely worth more than a name all of my life and definitely worth more than a name. I have something else to tell you that might make you a little bit sad. It made Mrs Jonas very sad. I'm moving away.
Speaker 4:I called my sister who is in the Navy. She lives in Beaufort, south Carolina. She will be retiring soon and she bought a house in Beaufort, not far from the water. She and I had a long talk, do you know? She said she always hated the way everyone treated me like it was my fault I was born. She said it was not my fault, none of it. She said she was sorry for leaving me to deal with it all, but she had to leave in order to save her own life. She said if I wanted Ruth and I could come live with her and her family and I could have my baby there, she would help me get the proper services I need.
Speaker 4:Buford, finished school. Yes, ma'am, I'm going to finish my degree and become a special education teacher. I know that I can make a difference for children who feel they have been ostracized because they are different. What do you think of that? Jane, that is a wonderful plan. I am so happy to have met you and I'm honored you trusted me enough to assist you along your journey. We leave in a few weeks. I have another doctor's appointment and I have a few other things which still need to be wrapped up. I have to pack out my little bit of stuff.
Speaker 4:Mrs Jonas had labeled a bunch of stuff in her house to be sent with Ruth and me. She also had started a nursery for the baby. I told her she didn't have to do that, but she insisted have you spoken to your mother? Does she know you are leaving? I told her she doesn't care. To be honest, I think she does care, but she doesn't know how to express it. All of her favorite children still don't check in on her like she thought they would. The only time she sees them is when they are dropping their kids off or coming to ask for money. So you still don't want to know the gender of your baby. No, ma'am, I wanted to be a real unhappy surprise. Jane, do you remember when you first came to me, you described yourself as a dead girl walking. Well, missus, jane Burton, I am happy you no longer refer to yourself in such a way. It has truly been a pleasure working with you and if you ever need to just talk, please call. I have this card I'd like you to keep with you. Read it whenever you need it If you want to become successful in life.
Speaker 4:1. Change your mindset. You don't get in life what you want, you get in life what you are, dr Matthews. Yes, jane, is it okay if I pray for you, our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors, and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen. Thank you, jane. That was a beautiful prayer. You are welcome, dr Matthews. Thank you, Jane, for what?
Speaker 1:Listening.
Speaker 4:Starting over. What will I face? Will it be a fresh start in a new place? Will it be new discoveries or a repeated past? I need to slow down and not move so fast. Am I starting with or without grace? Lord, slow my feet and steady my pace. My decisions are never my own. Lord, guide me and usher me into a new home, Starting over what will I face? It is a fresh start in a new place. I'm Jane and this is my journey. Journey from the Amazon bestselling author that brought you dead girl walking, Dr Audrey and Moses. Jane's journey one day at a time, coming spring 2025. Pre-order now at transition life coach for youcom.
