Toxic Trait of the Day: Betrayal In Disguise

Betrayal doesn’t always come from an obvious enemy. Sometimes it comes from the people who sit closest to you, clap the loudest in public, and quietly resent you in private. We get real about what “betrayal disguised as support” looks like when someone wants your updates, your secrets, and your access, but can’t bring themselves to celebrate your growth. If you’ve felt the energy change the moment you started winning, this conversation will put language to what you’ve been sensing.

Then we pivot into family trauma and the dangerous comfort of normalized dysfunction. We talk about households where yelling becomes “how we communicate,” where the silent treatment becomes control, where nobody apologizes, and where boundaries get treated like disrespect just because you share DNA. We also unpack how people twist loyalty, religion, and “honor your parents” into a lifetime pass for emotional damage, and why healing sometimes includes grieving what you deserved but never received.

If you’re the black sheep, the scapegoat, or the one trying to break generational cycles, you’ll hear the reminder you needed: you’re not wrong for wanting peace, asking hard questions, and protecting your children from repeated harm. Listen through to the end, then subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the boundary you’re choosing next.

Transcript

Betrayal Disguised As Support

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yes, that is kingdom, that is classic. That let me just make sure that y'all can hear me on here, okay? Because when I start talking about the toxic trait of the day, the nerf of these platforms to mute me. That ain't nothing but the enemy. But we're gonna get into it. We got a double feature today. The toxic traits of the day are betrayal and family trauma. Okay, so this segment is gonna step on some toes, it's gonna untangle trauma, but it's gonna tell the truth anyway, because the truth is gonna love you regardless. Because guess what? A lot of don't care who tell it. So we tell the truth today. Betrayal, disguised as support. Yeah, we're gonna go there today because some people will clap for you publicly and compete with you privately. They'll smile on your face, ask for all your business, sit at your table, want to know how you do this, how you do that, eat your food, call you sis, bro, family, daughter, and still secretly resent your growth. Betrayal don't always come from enemies because how can an enemy betray you if you know he's an enemy? You know she's an enemy. When you speak on the word betrayal, you gotta know that sometimes the people that had that front row seat in your life, that's where it's gonna come from. And what makes betrayal hurt you the most is because it usually comes wrapped in trust. It's always the people you trust that betray you. Because, like I said, if you don't trust somebody, you already know you can't trust them. You already know that they're gonna betray you. You expect that. It comes from the people you defended, the people you covered, the people you prayed for, the people who you stayed loyal to or default to, even when everybody else turned their back on them, their family turned their back on them, their friends turn their back on them, their kids turn their back on them, and you stayed down because you just loyal to a default. But I want to let y'all know something today. Everybody that says they support you is not a sign to your elevation. Some people only liked it when you were struggling, when you needed them, when you were easier to control, when your confidence was this small. Suddenly the energy changed. Oh no! And instead of them communicating honestly, talk to people, they're gonna move funny. That's just what they do. They're gonna leave those passive, aggressive comments, comments. I I heard them. Um well, we all know that you do great work. Well, Jackie, we already know you pretty. Well, Jackie, you know, um nobody's saying you don't do great work. We know you do phenomenal work, but the tone, the tone is like green goo of envy just dripping and seething from their nasty teeth. Then when you win, they quiet. I was just talking to my friend the other day. Girl, you winning. Where do you say people at crickets? Crickets. They silent, but let you do something wrong, let you make mistakes. Oh, they super loud. They calling you out. They all on Facebook talking about they'll leave a million comments when you do something wrong, but when you make a mistake or you or something you publish or something you put out there ain't to up to par. They got all the criticism in the world for you, baby. That is betrayal

Patterns, Boundaries, And No Re-Access

SPEAKER_00 4:50

in disguise. But listen, Linda, listen, stop ignoring those patterns because you love people. I did that. I'm learning not to do that now. I could love you down, but if it comes between you and me, my cost a piece, cost for my pieces worth every cent. It's like I never knew you. I can wish you well over there. But it's nothing you can say to me that will allow me, that will make me give you access to me again. Because love does not counsel accountability. Sometimes the biggest lesson is realizing you can forgive people without giving them access to your life ever again. Now that thing got quiet, didn't it? Now, I want to talk about and move move into this direction because, like I said, I've been gone for a couple of days, so I want to make sure that I give you all um a double feature today, okay? And and I want to move into family

When Family Dysfunction Becomes Normal

SPEAKER_00 6:05

trauma. This one's gonna hit home for a lot of people. Normalized in family trauma because that's just how they are, and we ain't gonna stop at family with this, but we're gonna talk about them family members more. But that's even with friendship, with relationships, with business partnerships, with co-workers. That's just how so-and-so is. No, ma'am, no, sir. We're breaking that cycle today, okay? A lot of people grew up in environments where dysfunction became normal. Yelling became communication, that's how we talk, we scream. Silent treatment became punishment, manipulation became love, and survival became our personalities. I know that's how it was with me. Some family thing, you ain't gonna never hear nobody apologize. They don't apologize in this house. No, they just act normal the next day and expect you to move on, and then when you bring it up or you want to talk about it, you want to get it rectified, then you become messy. Start always start mess because people share DNA, they think boundaries are disrespectful. But let me help some of y'all today, okay? Being family does not give people to uh permission to emotionally damage you again, again, again, and again. Some people were taught to tolerate toxicity in the name of loyalty. Then they try to get biblical with it, especially those parents, those toxic parents. They try to try to uh uh uh reshift the word to to go in their favor when they know they ain't right. Honor their father and thy mother somehow became accept the way that I treat you or I mistreat you forever because I'm your mama or because I'm your daddy. And don't you question anything when it comes to how I treat you, or you talking back, or you being disrespectful. That's not what God intended. That's not that's not of God. The devil is a lie. Healing sometimes means grieving those family dynamics you deserve, but you never received them for real, though. It means unlearning guilt, unlearning people pleasing, unlearning the idea that love must always hurt. And listen, Linda, breaking generational cycles will make you look like the problem in unhealthy environments. Point being, you got uh uh 11 dead roses, they all black, they they falling apart, they crunchy, they just dead, honey. But then you get one rose in the middle, it's full of light, it's full of life, it's beautiful, it's sticking out like a sore thumb. Now, a toxic person would think that this rose is the problem, but just because you got a healthy rose inside of all of those dead roses, that one is gonna always stick out. That's how you are. You're in an unhealthy environment. That don't make you wrong, that don't make that rose wrong for being there because heel people, we're gonna ask questions that dysfunctional people, they gonna hate them. We're gonna ask questions like now, how you get this out of that? How did that become the normal?

Breaking Cycles And Becoming The “Problem”

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Why couldn't feelings be expressed? Why couldn't we just talk about it? What is this? Why is it this person is being excused for beating on somebody, molesting somebody, and everybody just sweeping it under the rug? How is that okay? Why is nobody holding this person accountable for how they treated so-and-so? And instead of answering those questions, the toxic family members, they're gonna label this person as um as difficult, even though they the healer, they somebody coming in really trying to break those curses. You know, we we get those people all the time. Oh, I'm breaking generational curses, uh, but y'all still in the group chat talking about your cousin. You still, when you see one of your one of your family members, whether it's your cousin, your sister, you still think your teeth who she thinks she is, she thinks she's all that because she's dating that white boy, or whatever you're saying, but you want to break generational curses. I want you to know something, black sheep. I want you to know something, Rose. I want you to know something, scapegoat. You are not wrong for wanting peace, you are not wrong for protecting your children, you are not wrong for choosing to heal over repeated cycles or tradition in your family of hurt and betrayal and trauma. That's why I don't go around talking about my family now, on my mama's side or on my daddy's side. Y'all talked about my mama, y'all talked about my daddy, y'all talked about my sisters and brothers. And y'all wonder, y'all think people kids don't remember that because we were kids? We don't remember the things that was said, the things that was done to our parents and to our siblings. I get it all the time, people cousins and stuff in my inbox. Why you don't never come around your family? Why you don't look how y'all did, my people, my mama and my daddy gone, my grandmama gone. All I got is my siblings. I love my family, I love my cooks, I love them down, but now I'm not coming around that. We never got no apologies. My daddy and my mama left this earth and didn't get nail an apology, and I'm okay with that, and I'm pretty sure they're okay with it. But you think you're gonna you think I'm gonna allow access to do that to me and to my kids? Then you got certain people, you you get married, or you got certain people. You think I'm gonna sit up here and allow my kids to go around people that don't like me? I know you don't like me. You told so-and-so-and-so, and so and so came right over here and told me. Why would I allow my kids around that? I don't hate you, but I ain't coming around you. I'm not one of those people that that normalizes dysfunction. I'm not just gonna wake up one day, you ain't took no accountability. I I will agree the apology I never got. I'll be just fine. I will accept the apology I never got because sometimes the most loving thing that you can do is stop passing down pain to the next generation,

Choosing Peace And Protecting Your Kids

SPEAKER_00 13:35

and the way we do that is to set boundaries and stop accepting mistreatment in the name of family, and that is today's toxic trait of the day. So we got two we got betrayal and we got family trauma, okay? I like I said, I had to come and give y'all a double feature, okay? But because I was gone for a couple of days, thank you so much, Jeffrey Paul. Peace to you as well. I love y'all like Christ loved the church. I will be back tomorrow. We're back on schedule, y'all. Okay, love y'all like Christ love the church, and I am out.

unknown 14:12

Peace.