Avoiding Instruction Leads To Destruction Every Time

The fastest way to sabotage a calling is to get addicted to being right. We’re talking about teachability, rules, and the kind of correction that stings at first but saves you later, because avoiding instruction can lead to destruction and we’ve all watched it happen in real time: opportunities lost, relationships cracked, businesses stalled, and leaders who had talent but refused accountability.

We dig into Scripture (Proverbs, Romans, and more) to separate arrogance from confidence and control from godly instruction. I also share a poem called “Rules” to make one point impossible to ignore: creation runs on order, and power without order becomes damage. From there we walk through Saul’s story and the danger of partial obedience, then contrast it with David’s willingness to serve while he waits, and Jesus choosing “not my will, but yours” as the clearest picture of strength through submission.

We also get practical about an unteachable spirit, the trap of yes-people, and why flattery can bury you faster than correction ever will. To keep discernment at the center, I leave you with three filters: does the instruction violate God’s Word or just your ego, does the person have fruit or only opinion, and is it trying to elevate you or simply entertain and humble you. If you’re building in leadership, ministry, marriage, or business, this is a reset for your mindset and your circle.

Subscribe to the Listen Linda Podcast, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you’re choosing to apply.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

You're the one who's gonna walk in break. For you, I baby.

Welcome And The Mirror

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What is going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the Word of the Day. I am your host, Listen Linda, aka Dr. Jacqueline Cox, and this is the Listen Linda Podcast, where we do not just have conversations, we have the conversations people you know avoid because the truth has a way of making us uncomfortable before it ever makes us free. Again, I'm your host, Dr. Jaclyn Cox. And if this is your first time listening, welcome. If you've been rocking with me for a while, you already know I don't sugarcoat. I don't sugarcoat the truth now. And I don't preach to people, okay? I simply hold up a mirror and let all of us, including myself, take a good look. Now, today's conversation, child, it's gonna step on some toes, okay? It's gonna it stepped on mine first. So the title of today's episode, if you saw, it is what is it? Is it rules? Is it um it's a lot of different things, okay? But more so it's avoiding instruction can lead to destruction. Why people who can't follow rules will never properly lead. Now, before you turn this off, because you think it's about somebody else, stay. I want you to stay because somewhere in this conversation, you're going to find yourself. Um, can I ask you something? Uh uh, anybody who's watching, okay? What makes someone qualified to lead? Is it intelligence? Is it money? Is it followers? Is it titles? A degree, a microphone, a platform, or is it something deeper? Something we've stopped valuing. Teachability. See, everyone wants influence, everyone wants authority, everyone wants to be the CEO. Everybody wants to own the company, everybody wants to be the visionary, everybody wants to be the pastor, everybody wants to be the publisher, everybody wants to be the boss, but almost nobody wants to be corrected. We've reached a place in society where correction is considered disrespect, instruction is considered control, accountability is considered hate, and wisdom is often mistaken for judgment. Now we become allergic to being told no, you need to change that. You're wrong. There's a better way of doing that, and because of that, we're watching people destroy opportunities, relationships, ministries, businesses, careers, not because they lack the talent, but because they rejected instruction. Now, I want to lay a foundation here because I don't ever want you to leave here thinking or saying, well, that's just Jacqueline's opinion.

Wisdom Requires Humility

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No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's see what God says. Proverbs 12 and 15 says, the way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listens to advice. Notice it doesn't say fools don't hear advice, it says they think they're already right. That's dangerous because once you become convinced that you're always right, you become unreachable. So if we listen again to Proverbs 15 and 32, whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but whoever listens to correction gains understanding. Read that in in your Bible again later. Okay, for all my my Babble total folks. It doesn't say you despise your mentor, it doesn't say you despise correction, it says you despise yourself because rejecting instruction doesn't hurt the teacher first. It hurts the student. Then in Proverbs 19:20 says, Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you'll be counted among the wise. Notice wisdom isn't inherited, it's learned, and learning requires humility. Here's one we don't quote enough Romans 13 and 1. Let everyone, that includes me, okay? Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that in which God has established. Now, before anybody starts arguing on politics, stay with me, stay with just just stay with the principle. God is a God of order, not of confusion, of order. Okay? Can I tell you something that I learned years ago? I learned this years ago.

Every Room Has Rules

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Every room that I've ever walked into had rules. It had rules before I got there. Every job had rules, every school had rules, every courtroom had rules, every airport had rules, every publishing platform has rules, Amazon has rules, Facebook has rules, Instagram has rules, YouTube has rules. Even the people who scream, nobody tells me what to do has rules. Don't disrespect me. Don't play with my money. Don't waste my time. Don't cross my boundaries. Everybody has rules. So the question isn't do rules exist? Right? The question is why do we struggle so much with following? I think it's because somewhere along the way, we confused submission with weakness. We confuse humility with inferiority, right? We confuse being teachable with being beneath somebody. But can I challenge y'all? I want to challenge that thinking today. Following isn't being beneath leadership. Following is leadership and training. You know what's funny? People see, they see my books, they see the awards, they see the magazine, the podcast, the publishing company, the interviews, the recognition. What they don't see are the people who corrected me. The mentors who told me that's not your best work. The editors who sent things back. The moments when somebody older and wiser and more experienced told me something I didn't necessarily want to hear. Did it sting? Absolutely. Did my pride like it? Not a chance. But looking back, those moments built me more than applause ever could. Because applause celebrate who you are. Correction develops who you're becoming. And that's a major difference.

Instruction Protects Your Future

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Here's the first thing that I need everybody listening to understand. Instruction is not punishment. It's not. Instruction is protection. When a pilot follows protocol, it's protection. When a surgeon follows procedure, it's protection. When an architect follows a blueprint, it's protection. When parents tell their child, don't touch, don't touch the stove, they're not stealing their freedom. They're preserving their life. And some of us have mistaken guardrails for cages. And that's where we'll pause for right now. Because in the next segment, I'm going to read a poem that I wrote called Rules. But don't hear it as poetry. I want you to hear it as a mirror. Because after the break, we're going to answer one question that could change your life. What if the instruction that you've been resisting is the very thing that's standing between you and the life that you've been praying for? So don't go anywhere. I'm going to play a song off my album. Um, let's see which one I want to give y'all. Um called Listen Linda, and we will be back in three minutes and 33 seconds. Right back.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

We've been watching you try to hold it all together.

When Pride Rejects The Messenger

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Now, if you're just joining us, today's conversation is called Avoiding Instruction Can Lead to Destruction. Why people who can't follow will never properly lead. And before the break, I said something that I want you to hold on to. And instruction isn't punishment, it's protection. But here's where I want you to go deeper. Some people they don't reject instruction because they don't understand it. They reject it because it's because they don't allow or they they don't like whoever delivered it. I'm gonna say that again because I was kind of stumbling, because I really want to say it, but I I have to say it. They they don't reject instruction because they don't understand it, they reject it because they don't like who delivered it. That's a different conversation. Because pride has a funny way of making us believe if they're younger than me, they can't teach me. If they have less money than me, they can't teach me. If they don't have my title, they can't teach me. If they don't have my education, they can't teach me. Really? Then explain Balaam. God used a donkey, not because the donkey was smarter, but because Balaam had become too stubborn to hear anyone else. Sometimes, sometimes God will use the person you underestimated to save your life, and you'll miss the lesson because you're too busy evaluating the messenger. Now, I wrote something recently and I want to read it to you, not because it's poetry, even though y'all know I love me a poem, honey. I take anything and turn it into a poem, as you can see, right? But because I think it asks a question we've been avoiding. And it's called rules.

Poem Rules Versus Order

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You curse the rule while breathing because one exists. Tell your lungs, do whatever you feel. See how long your freedom lasts. The sun has never once missed work, the moon has never filed a complaint about working nights, the tide has never looked the ocean in the face and said, You don't own me. No, because even creation understands that power without order becomes destruction. Yet here we are, children. Grown enough to vote, old enough to bury our parents, bold enough to tell tell the universe, nobody tells me what to do, really. Then stop blinking, stop aging, tell gravity, you've outgrown her. Tell death, you decided not today. Tell winter to mind this business, tell fire to stop being hot, tell blood to stop remembering which way to flow. I wait. You call rules to control. The stars call them survival. You call them limits, the planets call them alignment, you call them chains. The roots beneath the oak call them the only reason that they are still standing after every storm came looking for a name to erase. Look around. Nothing extraordinary exists without submission to something greater than itself. The violin submits to tension, the diamond submits to pressure, the river submits to banks, even lightning follows laws while pretending to be wild. And maybe that is our problem. We've mistaken rebellion for intelligence, defiance for strength, noise for freedom. No, freedom has never been the absence of rules. Freedom is knowing which ones you deserve or deserve your obedience. Because every civilization that mocked order became a chapter in somebody else's history book. Every empire that worships itself eventually learned that arrogance is a poor architect. So laugh at the rules until your surgeon does. Ignore the rules until your pilot does. Despise the rules until your heartbeat does. Then tell me which one you're willing to die without. Because every breath you have ever borrowed can arrive by permission of the laws you did not create, cannot negotiate, and will never, ever, ever outrank. That isn't oppression. That is the poetry of existence. Did you catch it? The poem isn't really about rules. The poem is about order. And there is a difference. There is a difference. Rules tell you what to do. Order tells you why things work. See that? God did not wake up one morning and decide, I think I'll make life difficult. No, everything he has established, everything he established, he established it because he already knew the consequences of ignoring it. God never gives instruction without already seeing tomorrow. We're trying to understand today. While he's already protecting us from the next year.

Saul And Partial Obedience

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Now Saul had the crown but lost the kingdom. Let's talk about Saul. Shout out to Yvette Wheeler. Let's talk about Saul because I think Saul is one of the saddest stories in the Bible. Not because he wasn't gifted. He was. Not because he wasn't chosen. He was. Not because God didn't love him. He did. Saul lost everything because he couldn't simply follow instructions. Now, first Samuel chapter 15, God gives Samuel a very specific message for Saul. Not vague, not confusing, not symbolic, but specific. Destroy everything. Don't keep anything. Don't spare anyone. Simple. He spared King Agate. He kept the best livestock. Then when Samuel showed up, listen to Saul. I have carried out the Lord's instruction. Wait, what? Have you noticed how people convinced themselves that they obeyed? Because they Obeyed most of it? That's dangerous. That is so dangerous because partial obedience is still disobedience. Samuel looked at him and basically said, if you obey, why do I hear she? Can I teach you something? What's bleeding in your life? That proves you ignore God's instruction. What makes noise that should have been surrendered years ago? The attitude, the relationship, the addiction, the unforgiveness, the pride, the ego, the excuses, see? God doesn't have to ask questions because he lacks the information. Sometimes he asks questions because he's exposing us. Us. Then Samuel says something that should shake every leader. It's gonna shake every table. First Samuel 15, 22. To obey is better than sacrifice. Not bigger offerings, not louder worship, not longer prayers, not more church attendance, obedience. Do you know how many people are asking God for another opportunity while still ignoring the instruction, the instruction he gave them with the last one? We keep asking for new doors. Oh Lord, just good, Lord, just open all the doors for me, Lord. But we're refusing to use the keys that he already handed us. Now compare David to Saul.

David Learns Leadership By Serving

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David was anointed. He was anointed king. But did he immediately take that throne? Nope. He served. He waited. He followed. Imagine that. The future king. Carrying lunch. Played the harp. Right? Ran errands. Served someone who was trying to kill him. Most people today, they would have said, I know my worth. David knew his worth too. That's why he didn't have to announce it every five minutes. Serving never diminishes your greatness. Serving prepares you for it. You don't become a great leader because people start following you. Who cares how many followers you got? How many people tuning in to what you're talking about? You become a great leader because you first learned how to follow when nobody else was following you. And if that's not enough, we're gonna take it further. Look at Jesus, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, still submitted himself to the Father's will. In the garden he prayed, not my will, but yours. Think about that. If Jesus Christ submitted, who exactly do we think we are to believe we are above any instruction? Submission didn't make Jesus weak. It revealed his strength. Because real strength isn't doing whatever you want to do. Real strength is having the power to do whatever you want and choosing obedience instead. Now I'm gonna take another break. But after the break, I really I want to talk about something that has quietly become one of the greatest enemies of being in leadership. Being unteachable. Because I've discovered something. People who know everything usually stop growing. My daddy used to always say, a man that knows everything knows nothing at all. And that's where destruction quietly begins. So we will be right back. I'm gonna play another song for my album. Let's see what what do I have here? I'm gonna do one for the couples. Okay. This one is called Heaven Wrapped in You. Um, I wrote this for my my wonderful husband of 10 years going on 11 years. My friend of um, I'm 37 of 20 years, okay. Um, it is called Heaven Wrapped in You. We will be right back in about five minutes, all right.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

You know, I wasn't looking for forever. I was just trying to breathe again, and then you showed up. Somehow breathing got easy. I didn't know love could feel like that. I didn't know heaven could be a person until I met you.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

Everybody had a voice. I was walking with the food boy.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

Just be pretty much before uh messy little pretty on the outside, broken on the inside, kind of look. This is cool.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

Like somebody finally learned the I didn't fall in love with the fan of yeah, I fell in love with the pizza fill in the uh I'm expecting You don't gotta be perfect for me to love you.

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Be present. Just be real. I've had loud love, messy love, pretty on the outside, broken on the inside, kind of love. But this. This is quiet, safe, steady. Like somebody finally learned where my heart lives. So if anybody asks, I'll tell. I didn't fall in love with a fantasy, I fell in love with the peace I feel when I'm with you. I found heaven, and it came wrapped to you.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Alright, that was another one of my singles from my debut album, Listen Linda. You can find it on all platforms. It is called Heaven Wrapped in You. And

The Unteachable Spirit And Yes People

SPEAKER_00 33:39

welcome back to the Listen Linda podcast. Now, if you've been listening this far, I already know this message has probably made some people uncomfortable. I've been seeing people come on, go off, come on, go off. Good. Because discomfort isn't always right the devil. Sometimes it's conviction. And conviction isn't meant to embarrass you, it's meant to introduce you to a better version of yourself. Can I tell you what scares me? Not ignorant. Ignorance. Ignorance can be taught. Okay, what scares me is an unteachable spirit. See, I've been in publishing for years. Okay, I've coached hundreds of authors, I've worked with entrepreneurs, I've built help to build businesses while building businesses, award-winning businesses, right? I've managed projects, I've mentored people, and I've learned something. The people who succeed the fastest aren't always the most talented, they're the most teachable. And the people who struggle the longest aren't always the least gifted. They're the ones who believe they already know everything. Again, for those who are just tuning in, I said something before the break. I said my dad used to always say, a man that knows everything knows nothing at all. Okay? Now, have you ever met somebody that has an answer for every answer? You can't tell them nothing. They ask for advice only to argue with every piece of it. They ask for feedback, only to over-explain why they won't take it. They ask for help, only to defend the very behavior that's keeping them stuck. And at some point, you're not looking for wisdom, you're looking for agreement, you're looking for another yes person, somebody that's gonna every time you do something. Hey, hey, you got it, girl. And those are two different things. Some of us have surrounded ourselves with yes people, people who clap at every single thing we do. Nobody challenges us, nobody questions us, nobody stretches us, nobody says, hey, I think you're wrong about that. Everybody just says, you're amazing, you're right. I would have done the same thing. No, give me somebody who loves me enough to interrupt my foolishness. Now I'm not saying give me somebody who has never done it before. But give me somebody, give me wise counsel, please. Because flattery has buried more people than correction ever has. Look at Moses, Moses is leading millions of people. He's exhausted, working from sunrise to sunset, like Michael Jackson, day day and night, keep me working from day to night. Trying to solve every single problem himself. Sometimes I still have motion. Then his father-in-law Jethro shows up. Pop say, he didn't say it to criticize, but to help. He says, He told Moses, what you're doing isn't good. Now imagine if to if Moses has today's mindset. Who are you to tell me anything? I'm the leader. God talks to me. I've been doing this longer than you. I'm anointed. No. Moses listened, right? He adjusted. He delegated. And because he accepted instruction, the entire nation became healthier. One conversation changed everything. Sometimes your breakthrough isn't waiting on another blessing. We all just wait on another blessing. But sometimes it's waiting on your willingness to listen. Listen, Linda. You know? You know who's the hardest person to lead is? The person who refuses to be led. I've watched people leave good jobs because nobody can tell them nothing. I've watched marriages fall apart because nobody wanted to apologize. I've watched churches split because nobody wanted accountability. I've watched businesses fail time and time again because the owner believed they were the smartest person in every room. Listen, if you're the smartest person in every room you enter, you're in the wrong room, honey. Growth requires somebody who knows something that you don't. And this is something that we don't talk about enough. I came across this chapter by accident, but you all know that everything is no accident. Luke 2 and 52. And it says, and Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. Wait a minute. Jesus, Lord or Lord, King of Kings, grew. Think about that. The Son of God, model growth, model development, model learning. If Jesus can demonstrate growth, why do we act like we've arrived, honey? Why do we get offended when somebody points out that we still have room to improve? Or they're giving us a better way to go about something. I need y'all to hear my heart in this. I really, really do. Sometimes the greatest obstacle between us and the next level is not Satan. It's ego. Ego says, I already know. Humility says, teach me. Ego says, I don't need your help. Humility says, I've never been this been this way before. Ego says, they're trying to control me. They're trying to control me. Humility says, what if they're asked? What if they're trying to protect me? And that's where so many destinies get delayed. Sad. Sad thing to watch. Not because God stopped speaking, but because people stopped listening. I'll tell you something about myself. It's been times in my life where correction did not feel good. It's been times when I had to swallow my pride. Times I had to admit that I missed that point. I could have handled that better. I was wrong. And let me tell you, those weren't my weakest moments. Those were some of my strongest. Because it takes more strength to repent than it does to defend yourself. Anybody can argue. I'm one of the best things. I can read you down. Yes, Tammy. Anybody can justify. Anybody can blame. But maturity takes responsibility. When we come back for our final segment, I'm gonna answer one question How do you know if you're resisting instruction? Or if you're simply using discernment, because not every voice deserves access to your life, but the right voice can save it. Tammy, please don't go nowhere. We will be right back. Okay, I'm gonna play a short one this time. Let's do let's do um God did that. Let's do that one. Then we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

Let me test it real quick.

Discernment Questions For Healthy Submission

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Okay. Not because you're listening to me, but because you're allowing yourself to be challenged. And I pray you noticed, okay? I haven't been talking at you. I've been talking to all of us, including me. Because here's something I never want you to confuse. Not every voice deserves your obedience. And not every correction comes from God. Discernment matters. There are controlling people, manipulative people, abusive people, people who use God told me or you need to go to God to control somebody else's life. That's not what I'm talking about today. I'm talking about godly instruction. Instruction that aligns with scripture, instruction that produces wisdom, instruction that protects your future, instruction that doesn't inflate somebody's ego, but develops your character. There's a difference. Ask yourself three questions. Number one Does this instruction violate God's word? Or does it challenge my cry to always be right? Because sometimes we blame the messenger when the real issue is our ego. Number two, does this person have fruit or just opinion? Jesus said in Matthew 7 and 16, you will know them by their fruit. Everybody got advice. Everybody wants to tell you how you should do this, how you should do that, what you should do with something that you've built. Everybody has a microphone, everybody has a Facebook account, everybody has a podcast, everybody has a reel, everybody has an opinion, honey. But fruit is different. Fruit is consistency, fruit is integrity, fruit is longevity, fruit is evidence. We gotta stop taking life advice from people who haven't lived it. And number three, this is the one. Is this instruction trying to elevate me? Or is it merely trying to entertain me or humble me? Some people can't stand to see you where you are because they are not there. So they will be quick to tell you what you're doing wrong. How you should fix something that you got going on. Something that's been working for you for years now. They the master, they're gonna come and tell you how great you are and this and that, but you need to do this to try to humble you. Because the truth is, entertainment rarely changes lives. Okay? The truth does. We don't have a talent problem, we have a submission problem. Everybody wants to start, nobody wants to study, everybody wants to launch, nobody wants to prepare, everyone wants the microphone, nobody wants the mentorship, everyone wants influence, nobody wants accountability. And that's dangerous because a platform will expose what character failed, what character failed to develop. Success don't create character, it reveals it. Pressure don't create integrity, it exposes whether it was there all along. If you're a leader and you're listening today, remember this the higher God elevates you, the more accountable you become. Leadership is not permission to become uncorrectable. In fact, the higher you go, the more people you need around you who loves God enough and loves you enough to tell you the truth. David had Nathan, Moses had Jethro, Paul had Barnabas, even kings needed prophets. Don't build a circle where everybody is scared to tell you the truth. Build a circle where truth is safe. Because isolation has destroyed more leaders than incompetence ever could. I want to leave y'all with something. But what if what if discomfort is where your next level lives? What if the correction that you rejected was the very answer to the prayer that you keep praying for? What if God has already spoken, but you dismissed his voice because it came through somebody you didn't think was qualified. Think about Naman. He almost died with leprosy because he didn't like the instruction. That's it. He wanted something spectacular. He wanted fireworks, he wanted a performance. Instead, God gave him simple obedience. How many miracles have we delayed because God's instructions weren't dramatic enough for our praying? I want you all to ask yourself these questions. Who have I stopped listening to? Because they challenged me. What correction am I still arguing with? Am I truly seeking wisdom or am I only seeking agreement? Am I am I teachable? Or have I become so convinced that I'm right that I've become unreachable? And this is gonna be the toughest question that you're gonna ask yourself this way. If God answered my prayer today, would my character be able to sustain a blessing? That's one for you. Because God is not just concerned with getting you there. He's concerned with whether you'll still look like him when you can't get there.

Final Questions Prayer And Charge

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Let's pray. Father, thank you for loving us enough to correct us. Your word says that you discipline those you love. So today, we don't reject your correction, we receive it, Lord God. Give us hearts that are teachable, remove every single ounce of pride that keeps us from growing, Lord God. Help us to recognize the voices that you've placed in our lives to sharpen us, not to shame us. Give us the wisdom to know the difference between manipulation and godly instruction. Teach us to be faithful followers before asking you to make us leaders. Let us never become so successful that we no longer believe that we need counsel. Protect us from arrogance, disguised as confidence, protect us from isolation, disguised as independence, protect us from rebellion, disguised as strength. Help us to hunger, Lord God, for more than applause. Help us to hunger for truth, Lord God, for wisdom instead of always seeking attention for obedience more than recognition. Because at the end of the day, Lord God, we don't just want to build successful lives, we want to build lives that honor you in Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Amen. This one was one. It really was. If this episode challenged you, don't keep it to yourself. Share with somebody who needs to hear it. And if it made you uncomfortable, sit with it before you dismiss it. Because sometimes the very thing that offends our flesh is the thing that feeds our spirit. Thank you all for spending this time with me here on Listen Linda Podcast. Y'all know I ain't came in in a minute, so I had a lot to say. And until next time, I want you all to do something for me, please. Be teachable. Stay humble. Honor the process. Never think you're too big for the program. And remember, avoiding instruction can lead to destruction. But receiving wisdom can take can change the entire direction of your life. I'm Dr. Jacqueline Cox, and as always, Jessica. Listen, Linda.