Behind the Toolbelt
Behind the ToolBelt is a live, raw, and uncut podcast that brings real, unfiltered conversations about business, leadership, and the entrepreneurial mindset. Hosted by Ty Cobb Backer, CEO of TC Backer Construction, this live show features industry leaders, innovators, and experts sharing their experiences, strategies, and insights. From building successful companies to overcoming challenges, each episode offers valuable perspectives for entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders looking to grow, and make an impact.
Behind the Toolbelt
Mental Reset: The Power of Positive Mindset
Ty Cobb-Backer shares his recent journey through a challenging mental "winter" season and how he's emerging with renewed clarity and purpose.
• Mindset impacts everything from physical health to decision-making ability
• The snowball effect of negativity happens gradually, not overnight
• Physical pain can be directly connected to mental stress
• Walking outdoors for 20+ minutes creates a natural state of euphoria
• Creating a "decide list" rather than just a to-do list helps combat decision fatigue
• Helping others is one of the most effective ways to escape self-focused negative thinking
• Three powerful questions to guide decision-making: Will it bring joy now and later? Will it fulfill me? What impact will it have?
• Understanding when you make your best decisions leads to better timing of important choices
• Not making a decision is still making a decision
Join us next week as we explore the high cost of not letting go soon enough. If you know someone who might benefit from these conversations or would make a great guest, please reach out to us at TC Backer.
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And we are live. Welcome back everybody to Behind the Tool Belt, episode 27.
Ty Cobb Backer:Stories are bold, the conversations are real and the insights come to you live, raw and uncut. Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backer sits down with game changers, trailblazers and industry leaders who aren't afraid to tell it like it is no filters, no scripts, just the truth. Please welcome your host of Behind the Tool Belt, ty Cobb-Backer.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yes, sir, and we are back live and in the studio today. Thank you so much for joining us. It's honestly hard to believe that we have been doing this as long as we've been doing this. I mean today is episode 277. I don't know if I've ever been so consistent at anything in my entire life. Maybe that's very, very untrue, but, man, I don't know I mean other than my relationship. Actually, I shouldn't say that, man, hopefully Jana's not listening here yet. I have been very consistent, right, we're a consistent asshole or whatever with Jana and I've been very faithful is kind of where I think I was going with that. But anyhow, thank you guys for joining us. And today's one of those episodes where we don't have a guest.
Ty Cobb Backer:Vic and I have been, you know, testing and toying around with different things and you know I think I'm digging, you know doing the solo podcast and stuff. I know Vic and I are getting very creative. I think we kind of hit like some fatigue or a plateau there for a second and we wanted to just try to mix things up. For those of you that have been following us for a while know that. You know we haven't had a guest on um. You know about every other week or so, and I don't even know if we're going to have a guest on next week and we're going to come up with some topics, and usually a lot of that stuff is going to pertain to like where I was, where I am now. You know, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. A lot of this stuff is just you know really where I'm at and and some of the the turmoils and trials and tribulations and victories and wins that I would just want to really get on here and experience with, or, you know, share my experience with, with people, and I see my, my good friend, john DeVille, is on here. Thanks for joining us today, john, and, and you know, thank you for the inspiration and always encouraging me in in everything that we do. So thank you, john, for, for, for tuning in and today, you know, I got three topics that I'm going to try to touch on a little bit, and one of them is mindset.
Ty Cobb Backer:We talk about that a good bit, but I really want to unpack that a little bit and what that means to me today. Right, it could mean something totally different to me next week, but but where I'm at, in my mental state, which is I'm in a I'm in a good place? Um, uh, decision fatigue and and something that I've struggled with over the years too is like, how do I know that I'm working on the right thing, right? Am I wasting my time? Um, is this going to ever come to fruition? Um, should I be working on something else? And then, uh, next week. I think what I want to discuss next week is, uh, you know, talk about the high cost of not letting go soon enough, right, and that that that can take us down many different rabbit holes there, all in itself. But you know unpacking, you know the mindset. You know, for me, shuey, mindset is everything. I mean everything, and I had a great conversation with a colleague of mine, a trusted colleague, yesterday, and, and the funny thing that came about that conversation was, is that we were both going through the same season at the same exact time and and that's the funny thing, you know, expressing or sharing with somebody that you can trust.
Ty Cobb Backer:It's ironic how, how similar we are to to other people and, and I think a lot of times we, we think we're, we're different. No, nobody understands. You haven't walked in my shoes, you haven't experienced, you didn't grow up the way that I did. Your childhood wasn't the same, whatever, right. But but what's crazy is if you can find a, you know, a mentor, a coach, a friend, a family member, but somebody, it's got to be somebody that you can trust, right, that you can share things with. You know, not everybody you can share things with, but but there are certain people you can share things with and in this conversation I had yesterday, I was kind of expressing you know where, where I, where I was and what I'm coming out of right now.
Ty Cobb Backer:And Tony Robbins talks a lot about seasons, right, and I'm not as brilliant or bright as Tony is, but he's been an inspiration to me. I've listened to his stuff a lot over the years, actually, and I think it was him and Ed Milet, ed, who was on Ed's show and Ed interviewed him and they were talking about different seasons that people go with and you guys have heard me talk about, you know, uh, challenges and seasons and things like that. And and I recently experienced a winter, you know, and fortunately it was through the winter months that that we're experiencing and, uh, you know, I started to really unpack that and pull it apart and drill down in and see like, where, where did it start, you know? And what was I doing different?
Ty Cobb Backer:And it doesn't always have to be a winner, doesn't start, I don't think in a week, I don't think it starts in a month, I don't even think it starts in like three months, but like it just doesn't happen. It does, it gradually, happens over time, and it doesn't necessarily have to be ignited by like a passing of a loved one, because I, dan, and I both went through a darker season. You know, because, because winter is when things lie dormant. When things lie dormant and if you think about the season, you know, spring is where things are starting to wake up and blooms are starting to blossom and the grass is starting to get greener and the leaves are growing on the trees and stuff like that, and then it's summer, right, summer, things are thriving, things are going, things are banging, and then fall comes right, and we need seasons in order for things to grow and replenish and refuel and recharge and, you know, uh, kill off insects over the winter months, if we have a good winter. You know just things that we, we need these seasons in our life and and for growing Right, and and I, I truly believe that and.
Ty Cobb Backer:But, like I was saying. I don't think it starts like one day I just wake up and I'm in a dark season, I'm in a winter, I think for me trying to think about, like, unwind this a little bit, like when did this? When did I start kind of going off the rails? And it wasn't really anything in particular. It was like a series of events that that that have happened. You know, um, that that I I started to kind of go down in this, uh, insecure, I started to let things bother me, I started to I call it the snowball effect, right, like, and what I mean by the snowball effect? Not that a million snowballs were coming at me, necessarily, but, like you know, if you're standing on top of a hill and you pack a nice little snowball and stick it on the ground in the snow and you roll it down the hill and by the time it gets to the bottom, it's this huge snowball that I feel like I got ran over by.
Ty Cobb Backer:And so I was having this conversation yesterday and and I don't want to get too intimate and too into the weeds on on exactly what the conversation was about but it what it did, was it weakened. It weakened my, my, my courage and and my mindset was off, like where I was pulling back, I was pulling back, I was pulling back and, and I was pulling back. I was pulling away from people, I was pulling away from individuals, places I was pulling away with, with things in in business and in my personal life. And that's not me. I'm I'm a driver, I'm a go-getter, I'm I'm filled with confidence and and I understand what. What got us here won't keep us here, and and and and I believe I, I fully believe that, and that's just, and that's built into my DNA.
Ty Cobb Backer:And this is probably the first time that I experienced this pullback of certain people, places, things, and some of it had to happen, but I think I was pulling back way too much and it was messing with my mindset and the importance of a positive mindset, because you can have a negative mindset and I started to fall into a, a negative place, you know where. Um, you know, fear started to creep in and insecurity started to creep in and, like I said it, it happened. It was a slow snowball effect that that took place and and there was a couple of things that were eating away at me and and, uh, you know, uh, and I had to make some decisions and some uncomfortable decisions, and that's why I wanted to talk about mindset, decision, decision-making, the procrastination procrastination, you know, and not making a decision is making a decision, and so the importance of keeping a positive mindset and how it will affect people, your loved ones, right, the positive and or negative? Right, like, if I'm go, go, go and I'm just a ray of sunshine as soon as I walk into the building. Or am I doom and and? Or negative? Right, like if I'm go, go, go and I'm just a ray of sunshine as soon as I walk into the building. Or my doom and gloom, right, and, and I think we don't really pay attention to how much influence we have over other people's attitudes, right, and their feelings and emotions, and you know, um, until you know, we actually see it in somebody else, but that that wasn't the case for me. I think that's why it's taken so long for me to get my head out of my ass. And don't, don't get me wrong. I'm going through the motions, I'm showing up, I'm suiting up, I'm, I'm there for my family. I'm there, you know, uh, for my, my team members, and and and things like that. I'm, I'm doing the best that I can, but it's like this grind, you know, and I'm not enjoying myself.
Ty Cobb Backer:My mindset was off and, uh, it was starting to affect me physically, like it was draining my energy. I didn't feel like I could keep going and going, and going and going. I'm still working out, I'm still trying to get, I'm still trying to do these things. I'm reading my, my daily affirmations and my reflection books in the morning and I'm still, you know, connected and and I, I just, but I wasn't really grounded right. There was no intentionality or purpose. It was more fear based, like I was doing these things out of necessity, and fear Like, oh my God, if I don't go to work today, you know what I mean, cause I'm not one to stay home and hide under the covers Um, and my back started to hurt a lot.
Ty Cobb Backer:And again, I I'm a procrastinator and, believe it or not, I'm also an introvert and I definitely don't like to ask for help, like, screw that, like screw, going to the doctors and explain it to them. Psychologically, I'm screwed up and just don't feel well, which I haven't done that for a long time either. That's why I have good friends, um, because a doctor would probably lock me up if I shared half the shit that was going going through my mind half the time. But, um, my back has been hurting and it's been hurting for a long time, to the point where it's like I didn't even realize it was hurting anymore and causing physical pain. And so finally I got off my dead ass and I went to the chiropractor and to come to find out my pelvic was was misplaced or dislocated or or some shit. And um, and it fortunately for me, I I have a a a high tolerance for pain, emotionally and physically. Um, so I went, I visited this chiropractor who was recommended to me, cause I haven't been to a chiropractor in about five years and, um, you know, and I'm kind of used to being stiff and sore and stuff, because of pressure and stress and things like that, my neck gets stiff, I get lumps in my back and knots and and and things like that which you know, I I don't usually take care of on a regular basis or anything like that, but when I do, eventually it just it feels so much better.
Ty Cobb Backer:And but my hip was my hip and my back was getting to the point where I was either having trouble falling asleep or it was waking me up and and my son, rocket, recently got into golf, which allowed me to start playing golf again, and this was probably at the end of last season and and I noticed that it was affecting not just my golf game cause my golf game sucks anyhow, but it was a good excuse for my golf game to suck but it was really affecting my sciatic nerve and my hip and my back. I almost felt like something was loose back there and it was grinding together and so I went and he put me down my it turned out that my my right leg was about an inch shorter than my left leg and that my hip bone was hitting against, I think, my pelvic. I don't. I'm not a doctor, nor do I try to portray one on TV, um, but wherever the bones were hitting together, there's no cartilage there, like they're not supposed to be clicking together and it was. It was creating severe pain and of course I'm I try not to bitch and cry and complain and moan. I just kind of suck it up and deal with it, cause again, I can deal with this shit on my own. I don't need anybody's help, not. But finally he, he put me down and he he readjusted me and I got to go back a couple times a week for the next several, probably a couple months in order to get my hip, to get the muscles and everything, because the muscles started to you know form and your body kind of just gets used to that position. So now he wants it to get used to the position that it's supposed to be in.
Ty Cobb Backer:And I tried this new, it's called Softwave, which had, I mean immediately, as soon as he hit me with it. It's like this 303,335 mile per hour volts of something that's going into your joints, going into your muscle, going down to the bone, like instantaneous. Now it hurt like hell. And he said it was supposed to hurt like hell, but that's good. So anywhere it hurt is where he. He waved this one and he said and then he told me to get off the table and he's like, how do you feel? And I had been in pain for so long I was experiencing like phantom pain, like it took me about I don't know 60 seconds to realize that, like shit. I don't, I don't think I'm, wait, I'm, I'm not experiencing any pain.
Ty Cobb Backer:Five years of this shit, or however many years it's been to, at least two years that I've been experiencing, I think we we pinpointed it because he asked me if I was in a car accident. I was like no, but I did get my ass kicked on a football field a couple of years ago at this retreat that I went to, and I wouldn't change a damn thing. I'd play just as hard today as I did that day when I got my ass kicked down there. And just for the record for any of you that did see that video that my trusted friend John Stauffer posted, he created a reel that showed me getting my ass kicked about three or four times by a guy that was at least 100 pounds heavier than me. So that was unfair advantage. But the point is that John was on my team and we were the oldest guys at this retreat, mind you, and we kicked their freaking asses. We kicked their ass. So that's really. All that matters is that I got my ass kicked to kick their ass. So score wise, anyhow.
Ty Cobb Backer:So, long story short, went there, did this, and I'm feeling better already. I've been there twice. I get to go tonight, and so it's just. You got to take care of yourself, right. As uncomfortable as it is to ask for help, as uncomfortable it is to go to the doctors, at least for me, you know I think they're quacks half the time, but there's, there's certain things that you know, especially as we get older, even even not even being older, that we should just just take care of our body. So, anyhow, getting back to how you know, the wrong mindset, stress, you know, all these things can affect your body in different ways, shapes and forms, and I think, with the season that I was going through I think that was the point, was the season that I was going through, was, was, was agitating and irritating my, my hip and back pain even more. So when the pain is great enough, I will get off my dead ass and do something about it, and it was, the pain was great enough. So, and then, obviously, mindset will, will, mess with you psychologically and mentally. Right, it'll your, your mind is a powerful thing and it will tell you things that aren't true. Um, it will, it will tell you things that aren't true. It will tell you that, you know, things are a lot worse than they are. And that's kind of what was happening to me and some of the ways, and I also want to describe, you know, discuss some of the ways that I've been able to get through this and where I was telling you before where I was kind of backing off on things and one of the biggest things that that has helped me over the years that I started to back away from.
Ty Cobb Backer:One of the things was walking. I know is as simple and as common as going for a walk outside. I recommend going for a walk outside and but if you can't, on a treadmill indoors, that's, that's great. Both give you the same physical benefits. But I think walking outside, for me personally, helps me clear my mind. You know, no, no book. Give yourself, you know, a good 20 minutes of of just silence with yourself. Help you clear your mind. And breathing in, you know, which is also good for your immune system is breathing in the pollens and stuff, and that's that's kind of really the real reason I'm suggesting going for a walk, you know, and, and not even always by yourself, like with your significant other, with your kids, you know, a friend, what, whatever the case might be, and and just just but, but spend some good quality quiet time walking, and it's also, I find it a good time to to listen to very intentional books on things that I'm studying and uh, but helping me decompress and get away and remove myself.
Ty Cobb Backer:And you know, and and they also say too and I experienced this and I actually kind of watched the clock as I'm walking is is that they say you know, after 20 minutes of walking, your body starts to feel like this sense of euphoria, right, and and I'm sure some people that you know might be out of shape or whatever like that are like yeah, right, I might not be able to walk for five minutes, but maybe you should work up. One of your goals should be working up to you know walking, you know 20 minutes. Don't don't necessarily worry about how far you get, but maybe go for a 10 minute walk, turn around, come back, but by the end of that 20 minutes, you should start feeling better mentally, physically. Uh, you start feeling this, this state of euphoria. Now I typically walk two to three miles, um and and uh, that's just. You know I could do it pretty quickly. Uh, about 20, 20, uh, about little under 20 minutes a mile, which isn't like setting the world on fire or anything like that, but that's usually somewhere between 17 and 20 minutes. So I usually walk for about 40, 45, 50 minutes at a clip and I do that quite regularly, but again, it wasn't very intentional.
Ty Cobb Backer:Right, like I'm checking emails. I'm like literally walking checking emails. I'm scrolling Facebook. I'm rep, literally walking checking emails. I'm scrolling Facebook. I'm replying back to text messages because I don't want to waste that time. Like, I got to get back, I got to respond, I got to do all these things, but, no, put the phone down, if anything.
Ty Cobb Backer:Listen to a book, a good book, where whatever it is that you need to advance in, listen to that book or that podcast, but but I think the biggest thing where I felt like I was was was stumbling, and I've been told this for for many, many years is is like, um, when things are going wrong in my life, um, I should look to where I can help somebody, and simply just helping somebody. And I'm not talking about, like loaning money to somebody or you know. I'm talking about like really devoting and dedicating some time, your time, to, to helping somebody, whether you're lending their ear, your, your ear, rather your ear to them, and and not even necessarily giving advice, but just listening, right? Or helping somebody move I mean, that's probably one of the hardest things for someone to ask help, right? Is, you know, moving furniture, packing things up, helping them. You know how many opportunities have we avoided from actually helping and devoting you know, dedicating our time and helping. You know, because typically, when we think we're going through something and we're reaching out to other people to help them right and again, I'm not talking about like cash register you know they call cash register honesty but I'm going to call this like cash register helping, right.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm not talking about like giving a, you know, a less fortunate person on the street $10 or $20. I'm talking about really devoting your time to you know, and it's been a minute since I've actually sat down and helped work through the steps with somebody or, you know, found out where they were, because half the time I think my problems are so big. But by the time I listened to somebody else's problems, I'm like whoa, whoa, like when I thought I had it bad, I'm going to, I'm going to sneak a drink here real quick. But I got to get back to devoting my time right and energy right and whatever resources that are available to me and pouring back into people and I got to step that up. I'm not saying that I, I totally stopped, but it was almost just kind of like autopilot, kind of unintentional you know with, with very little purpose, and I'm not I'm not saying, do this to expect a return either. I'm just saying when you, when, when something's wrong with you, when there's something wrong, there's usually something wrong with you um, and, and the best way to get out of you is to get into somebody else and and and uh, come to find out your, the issues that you're struggling with are minute compared to you know other people's issues and stuff. So I'd strongly recommend um, speaking of which you know we're we're finally going to have our um community events committee meeting on Friday.
Ty Cobb Backer:We're getting back, we're getting, we're getting. We haven't done anything since for a swing into recovery. We had a call yesterday with Steven Spence. Big shout out to Steven Spence and everything that he's trying to do for roofers and recovery and stuff like that. So, steven, whatever you need from us, let us know. Obviously, you already know that, cause we speak on a regular basis, but the dates and location and stuff like that should be announced, I would imagine, in the next three to four weeks. I think we're thinking early fall this year, not waiting as long as we did. We're going to be super intentional so hopefully we can raise awareness for addiction and all that good stuff addiction and all that good stuff and we can get the support that we received this past year, that we did because that was absolutely freaking amazing, and then we got our food drive coming up at some point in time that date will be announced I think we're going to approach that little bit differently and, again, these things require a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of resources, because obviously we can't just do anything on a small scale. We got to be grandiose about it, but just because we have so many people that are willing to help. So what happens is these events that we do are usually pretty, pretty big. Um, so you'll be hearing a lot more about that.
Ty Cobb Backer:So I guess next next topic, we'll we'll try to dovetail into one of the symptoms that I was experiencing from having like uh, I don't even want to call it a negative mindset, but just a, I'm going to call it. I'm going to chalk it up to a poor, negative mindset, but just a, I'm going to call it. I'm going to chalk it up to a poor, a poor, poor, inferior, uh, mindset. Um, uh, it started to create decision fatigue and uh started to second guess my decisions. You know, um, because you know a couple of things didn't quite work out the way in that season that I was experiencing that I was talking about earlier. Um, a couple of things didn't quite work out the way that, uh, that I thought you know should have worked out and um, um, and and not making decisions Right, I touched on that earlier.
Ty Cobb Backer:I was like I was, I just I wasn't making any decisions, I was being very indecisive, I didn't have much clarity and, again, touching on how that affects other people, right, like, especially here at work, like, if I'm indecisive and not making decision, I'm not very clear and I'm hiding out in my office and things like that. Well, I can't even imagine what that's doing to my coworkers and my co-leaders if I'm not. You know, unfortunately, we built a great enough team and the team has actually built themselves at this point in time. Things were going, but there was much more that I felt like I needed to be doing and a lot of that's pouring into my team and that positive energy. Hence my signature at the end of my email that I stole from John Gordon.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm the CEO, I'm the chief energy officer. I bring the heat, I bring the energy. Well, I didn't have any. I was depl CEO, I'm the chief energy officer. I bring the heat, I bring the energy. Well, I didn't have any. I was depleted. I felt depleted my energy, my body was soared, so I I was suffering.
Ty Cobb Backer:I felt like I was suffering from decision fatigue, like I just can't think right now, you know, and and this is what's crazy Like some of the vitamins and stuff that I was taking, like I actually had to stop, and supplements, like I had to stop taking some of this stuff too, like I just I couldn't figure out what exactly was going on, cause sometimes it takes about 30, 60, 90 days for some of these, you know, supplements and vitamins to really start taking effect. And and my body and my system's a little weird like that, and I'm I'm trying to find the fountain of youth, so I'm trying other things and I, you know, and some of that played into the season that I was experiencing. It was it was messing with my, my, my thinking, right, it was making me how I felt indecisive and procrastinating, and one of the things that has helped me over the years is obviously, you know, with with the amount of things and businesses that I'm involved with. Obviously, to do list right Is is huge, right, but, more importantly, that I found here more recently that I actually forgot about was making a decide list things that I have to make decisions on right, make a list of them, get them out. And what what I found is is by getting them out of my head and putting them right on a sheet of paper or in your notes, on your ipad or or whatever device, electronical devices that that we have today. I mean, I see some people using the uh teachable, not teachable, uh remarkable which I graduate. I was using my iPad. I went to the remarkable, great, great, great tool, um, but I went back to over to my iPad and, uh, I started to write down. I start, I created my decide list.
Ty Cobb Backer:There was a lot of decisions that that have to be made, because I'm all, I'm a thinker, right, I'm constantly thinking, not just about today, but I'm thinking about next week, I'm thinking about next month, next quarter. Here we are in the second quarter, right, and I started to beat myself up over decisions that I should have probably made in the fourth quarter of last year. There was just certain things and again, I was slacking on my to-do list, you know, and one of my goals for the past two new years was was to remove shit off my plate and not keep adding stuff to my plate because I've done that year over year over year, where it's like I'm going to do this and I'm going to start doing that, but what about all this other shit that is eating away at me and all these other broken promises? Like, let's just stop making these promises to myself, right, and start removing things to actually give space, bandwidth to filter good, positive things, activities, people, places in my life. And, like, I totally went, took a left turn. It's I don't know if it was january 2nd I just started to like I took a left turn, but I don't even know what the hell happened to me. So when I got it out of my head all these decisions that I felt like needed to be made, I actually started to prioritize them. Okay, this, this can actually wait, cause sometimes the best decision is not to make a decision. Don't make a move, don't make a move, don't touch a damn thing. Nothing's broke, don't fix it Right. So, as I was able to get these out on this and my notes, my this, my decide list, not my to do list, but my decide list, which I actually stole that from Craig Rochelle, I don't know. Like 2023, I started to write a decide list and then picking and choosing times of day. Started to write a decide list and then picking and choosing times of day.
Ty Cobb Backer:When do I make the best decisions? Right? Is that eight o'clock at night, after I just got my ass kicked all day at work? Probably not. Um? Is it when my, my kids need help with schoolwork? Probably not. Right, like so when? When do I make the best decisions? For me, I make the best decisions in the morning, right. So now I know right. Tuesdays and Thursdays is my decision-making days, right On certain things. I'm not saying that when people knock on my door and they have a question about something, it's like Nope, you got to come back Thursday at 7am because that's the day I make my decisions. Now, can't do that, can't do it. As a leader, I need to be very decisive, but knowing myself right Personal development, personal mastery right Is knowing yourself. And when do I think the best? When do I retain the best? When do I function the best? When do I accomplish more things? What time of day can I really knock some shit out, right, and for me, a lot of that time is in the morning, and the earlier the better, the earlier the better, like this morning.
Ty Cobb Backer:I came up with these topics this morning, dude, I was just jamming, I was vibing, I got through my meditation, I did, and it was like I almost like had to stop meditating this morning because I was vibing. I got through my meditation, I did, man, and it was like I almost like had to stop meditating this morning because I was like boom, boom, boom, boom. Nope, get back over here. And it was like you know what I hurried up. I finished my meditation for the morning and I just started jamming out. Um, I got, I got into and I stopped beating myself up over what time I get to the office too. So I got here probably like 10 minutes to seven, literally.
Ty Cobb Backer:Does anybody know I've been up since four, 50 this morning, do you know what I mean? But I've been jamming since five, 15 this morning. You know what I mean? Like just rocking out in my head because, like I told you, I'm, I'm, I'm on the backside of this winter, plus the weather helps. I mean the weather finally, finally is starting. The sun came out the gray, starting to lift and things like that.
Ty Cobb Backer:And you know, the older I get, the more I realized, too, that I suffer from seasonal depression. Not, you know, I don't necessarily suffer from depression, but, getting back to the, the list, it frees up my brain space, it frees up my bandwidth so I can make other decisions and and stop worrying about it, cause I'm a worry work and, uh, you know I touched on um. You know, uh, setting setting some time aside. You know, pick, pick, pick and choose what they, you know on on these major decisions, major moves, things that are going to affect, you know, people, places things in situations that that that I'm involved with, right.
Ty Cobb Backer:And and the other thing was too that I also wanted to bring up is if, if there is a tough decision and I can't decide on my own, is is bringing in like a, a trusted colleague, right, based upon the topic. You know what I mean. Not everybody. You can share everything with Um and I found that out the hard way. That's why I mentioned that probably two or three times now.
Ty Cobb Backer:But trusted friend, a loved one, whatever the case might be like if there's just something that's like eating away at you and you can't decide what it is, get an outside perspective on it, right. Don't be afraid to ask somebody their opinion on something, because you're going to either like what they have to say or you're not going to like it, but it will definitely help you decide which way you're going to go, because either if their idea is totally stupid and the one that you already had in the back of your mind because this is the deal you're going to do, whatever it is that you want to do, anyhow, that's just the bottom line. It's never going to be a good idea until we think it's a good idea bottom line and a discussion on that, right. And then that kind of dovetails into how do I know I'm making the right decision? Or how do I know what I'm working on is the right thing? Right, because I've I've worked on things and I actually came up with these three questions this morning and, and I'm still, I'm still, I'm still unpacking this, but I, I still.
Ty Cobb Backer:I think it's very important for me to share this with you guys, because we all struggle with these things, right, but I don't hear very many people talking about this. Sue me, okay, I'm, I'm, I think I'm half Looney Tunes at times, but, um, I'm here and I'm enjoying this. I'm enjoying myself, right and and sharing this stuff, my my experiences, right, I'm not going to share something. I'm going to really try not to share something that I don't have experience with. You know, or have an opinion on something that I don't have any experience with, because that just kind of sucks and it's kind of shitty and I can't back it up. But, like I said, I want to unpack this Like, how do I know if I'm working on something?
Ty Cobb Backer:And I think I think that's a question I think we ask ourselves, like it'd be no different than I guess, uh, you know, if I decided to just start digging a hole in the backyard, right With, I just I got a pickaxe, I got my digging bar and I got a shovel, I'm just gonna start digging a fucking hole, right, a lot of people are gonna be like, why is he digging a hole in the backyard? Quite frankly, I can't answer that question. I just start digging the only thing that I know that it brings me joy. I just, you know, I don't know what. The end result is this, but I, I, I it's physically, I like what it does to me. Physically, I'm creating a sweat and I don't know if I'm going to dig to China.
Ty Cobb Backer:So my point is is that it's bringing? It's bringing me joy. I don't know what joy it's going to bring me, but I know today for instant gratification because I, I, I am, I am an instant gratification kind of guy. I want it here, I want it now. When's it coming? I've been spoiled, just like everyone else, by Amazon. Okay, I want that shit overnighted today. But maybe that was a bad metaphor. But my point is too, it might give me digging this hole, might give me instant gratification. But if I thought that through, it's like, okay, now I'm creating a mess in the backyard, okay, that's going to create more work, work that I probably don't want to do. It's going to ruin the grass, the grass is going to die. And now I got a hole in my backyard.
Ty Cobb Backer:So I got to ask myself it's a two part question the thing, the thing that I'm working on right now, is it going to bring me joy? And if I don't do this thing, will it bring me joy later or will it bring me pain? So yes, metaphorically, I'm enjoying, I'm digging it, man, man, and I'm digging this hole to china. Screw it, I'm gonna dig this thing, but I I have a moment of clarity and I'm thinking to myself I'm not gonna like the end result of this, I'm not gonna like this, so maybe I should stop. Maybe I should just close this hole up right now.
Ty Cobb Backer:So first part of the question is is is it bringing me joy, am I, am I feeling joy from this, and will it give me joy later? The answer to that second part of the question is no. So why am I doing it? Right, and it's almost like getting high. Right, I didn't even think about this till right now. It's almost like like, yes, that instant gratification, I can drink a beer, I can get high, but the end result I'm not going to. I'm not going to feel good about myself later. I'm either going to, you know, I'm going to have a hangover. Um, it's going to be considered a relapse. It I'll probably miss an appointment because when I start drinking, all bets are off. So why would I pick, pick up the pickaxe? Right? It won't bring me joy later.
Ty Cobb Backer:The other thing is is does it bring me fulfillment and purpose? Now, will I feel fulfilled filling this hole back up? I probably will. It will probably give me fulfillment. But if I don't fill the hole up, will it give me fulfillment later? Will it benefit me or anyone else later? If I don't fill it up, it won't. It's going to kill the grass when it rains, the mud's going to go down the hill, it's going to create a mudslide. It's going to do all these things. So, yes, I need to fill this hole back up and I wish I would have came up with a better metaphor. Better metaphor, I don't know, it's a tongue twister. For me it is anyhow Um but um.
Ty Cobb Backer:So what it is that I'm working on right now will. Does it make me feel fulfilled? Okay, and I guess the second part to that question is because I don't want five or six different questions, it's going to be three questions. You got to ask yourself does it bring me joy? And if I don't do it, will it? Will it bring me joy? Okay, it's the first question. Second question is is it, does it make me feel fulfilled? It does, but if I don't do it, will it make me feel fulfilled? Question is that probably, if I procrastinate, if I prolong it, I probably won't feel fulfilled later. So that means I better do it now. It may not give me fulfillment, this second, but I know if I get through it now I will, because I see the end result.
Ty Cobb Backer:Right, it's just like working out, right, I don't see the gratification. I don't feel the gratification today. Shit, I don't even feel it. Over a week, sometimes a month, you start to feel different. You start to see, look different. People start to realize like, holy shit, you're starting to look good, whatever, right, right, um, and then I guess the third question we would ask ourselves is um will it have impact negative on people or positive on people?
Ty Cobb Backer:Right, if I do this thing today, if I continue to keep working on this job, on on this task, on this, on this whatever, what impact will it have on myself and on other people? Will impact people later and instantly? Right? Two part question positively or negatively, right? So I think, if you can think and and and say these three questions to yourself, does it bring me joy now and will it bring me joy later? Will it make me feel fulfilled today or will it make me feel fulfilled later? Will it have a positive impact on people today or a negative impact on people later if I do or don't do something right? And I think that has given me, that has given me, personally, so much clarity on my decision making, right, especially when I'm suffering from this decision fatigue. Right, it helps me with my mindset If I can grind through this, because I know the end result.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm going to get paid, it's going to impact other people so they can get paid, and then they can impact other people so they can get paid, or they can provide for people, if you want to look at it in terms of monetarily, right. Or am I going to do some things that people don't even don't even realize where these miracles came from? Right, because I I love doing stuff like that, where people don't realize, um, you know, it was because of something that we did that impacted them later, right, um, but but if you look at all of the, all three of these questions, it it all has to do with. It starts with me, first and foremost, personal development is an inside job. Professional development, I don't give a shit. It's an inside job, right?
Ty Cobb Backer:It's the six inch between my ears, it's the things I'm working on behind closed doors, it's the promises that I'm keeping to myself, and it's the promises that I'm breaking to myself that will screw up that psyche, that will screw up that mindset. That will screw up my paradigm, my perception psyche. That will screw up that mindset. That will screw up my paradigm, my perception man. I've I've ever had my perception screwed up here lately, but I really wanted to share. I really wanted to. I felt like I really needed to get a lot of that off my chest. You know of, of, and maybe if there's somebody else out there I don't know who's out there is a I see Johnny Stauffer out there. I'm going to take a drink here real quick. I feel like there's about 12, 13, 14, 15 people out there listening right now.
Ty Cobb Backer:If anybody has any questions or want me to unpack or unwind something a little more on the topic, what's up, john? Good to see you, buddy. Um, you know, and John's a good example of of where I feel like um, I may have been influencing or impacting him over the past several months. Whether he notices, noticed it or not, I, I feel like and maybe I'm giving myself entirely way too much credit for for having impact over people or whatever, but I'm sure he's noticed, but let's chalk it up to noticed me being in a funk over the past um several months where I just I haven't been very creative Um, and John and I and Vic um, I don't want to leave you out of that circle of of creativity either, but John and I, man, usually just jam out on marketing.
Ty Cobb Backer:I love marketing, I love brand Um, I love bringing new ideas to the table on how to market our brand and bring brand awareness and I just feel like I've been in a dumpster when it comes to creativity. But, john, just so you know, I have a lot of great ideas. I think I shared a couple with you the other day and that's what I mean in terms of affecting John. It's John's job to market and brand our company and if I'm not bringing ideas right, wrong, indifferent, bad ideas whatever to his attention, then he doesn't know where I'm not bringing ideas right, wrong, indifferent, bad ideas whatever to his attention, then he doesn't know where I'm at, he doesn't know what direction. Right, because I'm the driver here.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm driving this right and that's the important thing and my colleague that I was speaking with yesterday we were speaking in terms of our family members, right, and the impact that we have on them, good and bad, because of our moods, because of our you know behaviors and things and how we affect them. You know, because misery enjoys company and it's like when I'm miserable I'm not happy until you're miserable. So I'm going to go out of my way to make you miserable. Do I want to live like that today? I absolutely positively do not want to live you miserable. Do I want to live like that today? I absolutely positively do not want to live that way.
Ty Cobb Backer:And there's there's, there's my old friend David Bruno. David, we need to get you on the show here sooner rather than later. And also I want to talk to you about hosting another networking event or something, or at least maybe helping me start. You know, a little networking thing here at TC Backer, which is another thing that you know, I think you know get us all out of our shell here a little bit. This winter shell that we've been in you know most effectively here me lately, and again I see I've rubbed off on Vic a little bit too.
Ty Cobb Backer:You know what I mean, and that's not good, it's not good for anybody. And uh, you know. So if anybody's going through a funk, you know it's short-term funk, long-term funk, or you just can't put your quite, can't put your finger on what the hell is going on. Open up, reach out to me anytime, through messenger, through, through whatever, and, uh, you know, um, I'm here. I'm here for anybody. Life is entirely too short to be miserable, but I think I ran my mouth long enough.
Ty Cobb Backer:Next week I want to dive into and I'm sure I'll circle back to, some of these topics next week, but next week I really want to discuss the high cost of not letting go. So, if anybody's got any questions, please, in the comments. If you're catching this on the replay, thank you for joining us. But if you catch this on the replay, if you got any questions that were a topic that that you'd like to hear me discuss, and if you find any value to any of this, and if you know anybody else that that might find value in this, please, please, share this with them. And if you know of anybody that might be a good guest to come on the show to talk about some deep shit, uh, by all means, reach out to Vic myself, john, anybody here at TC backer, um, reach out to us and we'll see if we can't get you on the show. And again, if you got a topic that you want me to talk about, discuss, please don't hesitate. But until next week, you guys take care of each other and enjoy this great.
