Behind the Toolbelt
Behind the ToolBelt is a live, raw, and uncut podcast that brings real, unfiltered conversations about business, leadership, and the entrepreneurial mindset. Hosted by Ty Cobb Backer, CEO of TC Backer Construction, this live show features industry leaders, innovators, and experts sharing their experiences, strategies, and insights. From building successful companies to overcoming challenges, each episode offers valuable perspectives for entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders looking to grow, and make an impact.
Behind the Toolbelt
Beyond Words: Discovering the Power of Silence
Host Ty Cobb-Backer welcomes his close friend Eric Oberembt to discuss Eric's newly published book "Shut The F*ck Up and Listen More" and the powerful philosophy of connection it contains.
• Eric shares that while this is technically his third book, it's his first deeply personal work incorporating his own stories and perspectives
• The book focuses on the TEAM method: Trust, Empathy, Authenticity, and Meaning as the foundation for true connection
• Eric explains he wrote the book for "me 15 years ago" – for anyone who feels disconnected and wants to build better relationships
• The book emphasizes doing what you say you'll do as a core principle of integrity and trustworthiness
• Eric discusses how he incorporated lessons from his recovery journey into business principles without making it an "AA book"
• The most rewarding part of writing was sharing stories about his grandfather who profoundly shaped his life
• Eric believes our modern failure to listen more than we talk has damaged our ability to connect with others
• The book teaches that real growth happens when we stop talking and truly listen without formulating responses
• Eric urges readers to practice curiosity instead of judgment when encountering different belief systems
Get "Shut The F*ck Up and Listen More" on Amazon in Kindle, softcover, or hardcover editions.
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Hey, and we're live. Welcome back everybody to Beyond the Tool Belt, episode 278. I'm your host, ty Cobb-Backer. Thank you for joining us again on this Wednesday edition of Beyond the Tool Belt. Today we have another special guest. Stay tuned after our short intro from our sponsors.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Behind the Tool Belt, where the stories are bold, the conversations are real and the insights come to you live, raw and uncut. Every week, host Ty Cobb-Backer sits down to bring you the stories, the struggles, the lessons learned and the wins. No filters, no scripts, just the truth. Please welcome your host of Behind the Tool Belt, ty Cobb-Backer.
Ty Cobb Backer:Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back to another episode of Behind the Tool Belt everybody, the podcast where we dive into the minds of the industry leaders who are changing the game in construction, contracting and beyond. Today we have another amazing guest, my brother from another mother, eric O. How you doing, man? What's up, buddy? How are you Living the dream, man? Living the dream. I'm completely and totally beside myself right now and I'm super excited to have you on the show today for a couple of different reasons. One, because I love you and you're my friend.
Eric Oberembt:I love you too Truly.
Ty Cobb Backer:My friend and we were just talking about the sum of. Earlier, before we got on here, vic and I were talking about the sum of. We are the sum of who we surround ourselves Right and really, at the end of the day, you're one of those five people that has impacted me and, in turn, I'm able to impact other people. So, directly and indirectly, you're impacting people because, through me and because of you, I get to do that. So I'm super excited to have you on the show. And the other reason is because of your first book launch, and we better be the first podcast that you're're on to promote your book you are okay?
Ty Cobb Backer:good, yeah, after the release after the release oh yeah, okay, I guess that matters.
Eric Oberembt:I think I did what you know, what I don't know if I did. I don't know if I did anything beforehand. I don't know if anybody wanted me on. So yeah, no, I think you are okay, good.
Ty Cobb Backer:So like, how did the the release of all?
Eric Oberembt:yeah, hold on before we even fucking get into that first thing that I gotta say yeah is how goddamn rugged and sexy you look right now.
Ty Cobb Backer:Well, thank you I'm loving this.
Eric Oberembt:Okay, yes, I'm loving this. Like I would take you home with that, like that's a fucking that's a win I'm all in on that, don't? I don't give a fuck what janice said. Like you, keep that, that fucking. That makes you look confident and authoritative I love it.
Ty Cobb Backer:Oh, she loves it. That's why I'm doing it. Good, all right own it.
Eric Oberembt:I just want you to know. Okay, you look sexy as shit, so now more about me.
Ty Cobb Backer:More, let's talk more about me now I I like that, though I'd rather stay on that. I'm just kidding, but yeah Well you know, having it, you know. Congrats, congratulations, man. You just launched your first book. How does it officially feel to call yourself a public or published a published author so you know, technically I mean technically this is my third book.
Eric Oberembt:Oh, yes, yes, right. So, like, I wrote those other two books, but they were roofing books, um, and they were for clients to educate clients, but they were still books, right. So, like, I had been through a process of writing a book before, but this was completely different to your point, right, this one was way more personal and it's not a personal book, right, it's not a hey, let me tell you my story and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right, like, there are true business and personal things that, like, you will get out of this book that you can instantly implement into your life and into your company, right, but there is also I correlate that with anecdotal stories to show how it benefits, right, so there's a lot of me in this book, right, like, there is a lot of me, um, in in, in the lessons and in the stories and everything like that. So, in that regard, it was very different, because I was putting a lot of opinions in the book as well, which is going to make people love me or hate me when it comes, when they get it, and what I decided was that that's exactly what I want. Um, I want people to either be attracted or pushed away because everybody is not for me, um, and I am not for everybody, and and I'm okay with that, right, I'm totally okay with that, um, but I think as a as a, as a human, we immediately default into, like, I need everybody to like me, I need everybody to. You don't get anything done that way, right? Because then all you're hearing is just so much noise, right? And so I'm really cool, I'm really happy with that, I'm really proud of this.
Eric Oberembt:I did put a lot of time and sweat and tears and everything into it and I I hope that it resonates with people and I hope that it. I just hope that it impacts people, right, like, I am not going to get rich because I wrote this fucking book, right, I'm not going to fucking make a bunch of money on royalties and blah, blah, blah. Like that was never my goal. I have other goals of that.
Eric Oberembt:My coach asked me what would it look like? You need to come up with something to decide. How would this be a success? Right, because it's not monetary for me on that. And so I was influenced so much when I heard Ed Milet speak the first time with the story about his dad and all that kind of stuff. And so we made, we made or I made the benchmark that if Ed happened to read my book, that he would say that it was good enough to have me on his show to discuss the concepts in the book and then that would be the win. So, never going to happen. But that's what I'm shooting for, right. That type of that type of impact that, if it impacts somebody like someone like him, to be able to impact even more humans than I want.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, no, that's such a good goal too, and you never know, it might happen, because I know you and I know that you've poured your heart and soul into this book. Like you said, it's not a roofing book necessarily it's. It's, it's. There's nothing about roofing in it. There's some of your stories. I haven't fully read it yet, but I've listened to you enough to know what the book is about. The book is on the way. I think I should have it tomorrow or Friday.
Eric Oberembt:It usually takes a couple of days.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, you can go on Amazon and get it, but no, that's, it's not a lofty goal, I think it's. You know, one of our goals here is to get John Maxwell on our podcast and we've planted the seed and he didn't say no. So that was kind of a little mini win that he didn't say no. There was a few things that he would like to see me be a little more involved with, which it now he kind of flipped it back to me. So, um, of course I'm dragging my feet because it's work. It's it's kind of a work thing that I have to work on professionally to be more involved with the foundation and things like that. So, but it's, it's goals.
Ty Cobb Backer:We got to set goals, whether they're big, hairy, audacious goals or not. We have to set something very high, at least for high performing people like ourselves, because if not, then we find a cop out Right, like well, but but you know the butts and it's like no, screw it, let's just go for the. You know the, the gusto of it, but let's, let's start from the beginning. Man, like what, what inspired you to write this book? Was there a moment or a story that that sparked all of this?
Eric Oberembt:Well, you know how it is when, like, you've got pass, like we do, right? Um, every time you meet somebody and you tell them three of your stories, they're like god damn, you should write a book. And it's like man, if you only knew half of it, you know, we'd probably get re-arrested. Um, just by announcing the things that we've done in our lives and so, like that seed always got planted Right. And then we go to all these events and I see other people that have written books and I look at them and I'm like, really, like you did you know like what? What? Why couldn't I? Why couldn't I? And when I finally did the? So the real moment of inspiration to answer the question is when I got to do my full keynote at RoofCon in 22 or whatever that was, and we had a pretty full room when I did it. Right, there was a lot of people there, and the feedback that I got after that and the people that came up to me and talked to me and the impact that I had in that one moment, made me realize that I have to do something else to be able to take that information that I gave on stage, which there's, you know, part of that is in the book, right, talking about the team method and all those things. I need to figure out how to get that to more people. Right, and yes, I want to speak more, I want to be on more stages, I want to be able to present this to large groups of humans, to be able to impact them, and and and and and help them as well. But I was like I need to put pen to paper as well, because the only way to truly find those hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people that you want to be able to help change their lives is, I think, through this medium. Right, and then, selfishly, I'll be honest, like the other reason that I did, it was because of the fact that, like I said, I do want to get on. I do want to have an opportunity to be on more stages, to talk to more people, and this is like a degree, and once you, once you put pen to paper and you show that you're actually you're willing to put the work in to do this thing, that's like getting your degree in school to be able to get the job Right, and I knew that I needed to do something to get my degree so that I could go to people and be like, hey, this is why I'm qualified, right, and so I wanted it was all it's all a build.
Eric Oberembt:Right, it's all a build. But I just, at the end of the day, man, like it all comes from the recovery space that we're in. Like, I just want to be able to help more people and I don't have time to sit down and do this with a thousand people. Right, I've got businesses to run, I've got a lot of shit going on. Right, I've got CCM, I've got exhale, I've got I've got all these things, and it's like I don't have time to do. The thing that I really want to do is and help. Then maybe I can, right, but that's really like that. That's a large part of the inspiration. I hope that answers the question.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, no, that was great. That was great, for sure, for sure. And I think I think some of us that that are kind of in this space, you know, want to achieve what what you're talking about, and I think it's a an amazing idea. You know, and I've heard the same thing too. You know, after people have heard my story, they're like you should write a book, you know, and it's like boy, if you only really knew the truth, not the real, not the true story. But I'm there. I'm usually giving them the sugarcoated version of it just because I'm afraid I might get locked up. Well, they can't fucking.
Eric Oberembt:I mean it's Jack Nicholson. They can't handle the truth, Like most people cannot handle the real Ty and the real Eric from those years. Yeah, they just can't, we'll just keep that boxed up. Yeah, a little fucking lock on it.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah, isn't that the truth? Isn't that the truth? Um so, who? Who did you write this book for? You know, obviously you did it. You know, not for yourself, but like what, who? Who were you aiming at when, when you were throwing this dart out there?
Eric Oberembt:So my first thought was is that I wrote it for me 15 years ago? Um, because, as an introvert, as a natural introvert, nobody thinks of that, of of either of us. Cause I think that I mean, are you tell me if I'm wrong, but like, are you naturally an introvert as well? Absolutely, but when people look at us and see us here on stages talking and leading and all that they're like, they assume that, like we revel in that right now. This is different because, like this is one-on-one. When I'm on a stage and I, if I spoke to 10,000 people, to me that's still having one conversation with one person, Right, but you put me in a group of of people and like my fucking nerves go through the roof, right, and like I don't, I am terrible at just walking up and being like hi, I'm Eric, what's your name? Will you be my friend? Like fucking, I hate that shit. I absolutely hate it. I just brain farted. Where was I going? What was the question?
Ty Cobb Backer:You were.
Eric Oberembt:You were talking about being an introvert, but who who?
Eric Oberembt:did you write the book? So I wrote it for me. I wrote it in in theory for me 15 years ago of who I was, because I know that there's so many people that are in that place that I was at 15 years ago of trying to figure out who I was. How do I lead people, how do I connect? Right, because the the subtitle of the book is stop talking and start connecting. And I tell this story. I tell this story in the book.
Eric Oberembt:But when I was on a retreat with my coach and he was hypnotizing me for three days, every day he was asking me the question of like, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? And every day I was like I don't fucking know, clay, I don't know what I fucking want. Stop asking me the goddamn question. And he's like I have to ask the question, that's why you're here. And I'm like, well, I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want.
Eric Oberembt:And on the last day, after all of the shit that he was doing to me, I had this poof epiphany of I want connection and I was like and I just didn't know how to do that and that was what spurred the team method of trust and empathy and authenticity and meaning and truly using those core principles and values and, like how I operate with other people, I learned that if I do those things and if I shut the fuck up and listen, that's how I make those connections. And I know that there's a ton of people out in the world that are trying to lead other people and trying to lead teams and trying to lead other humans and trying to be better at home and they don't. They don't know how to do it, but they know that they want to do it Right. They know that they want to do it. They're like what the fuck? Like, what do I need to do differently? And that was always me. That was.
Eric Oberembt:I always wanted to be better and I always wanted to figure out how to do different things so that people wanted to be around me, do different things, so that people wanted to be around me. Right, because I always felt alone, right, and that's what I put in the book. So I mean in my mind that's everybody Right. There's that small percentage of people that like they just got it figured out Right and if you got it figured out. You don't need my book or anybody else's book, you got it fucking figured out, right. Um, those people know. But everybody else, everybody else that has ever felt alone in business or alone at home, right, felt like they were the only people in the office or the only people in their house. They couldn't talk to anybody, but they didn't understand why. That's who it's for does that make sense?
Ty Cobb Backer:yeah, totally does, would you say? That's the one message or lesson from the book that you would hope everybody, every reader, walks away with which one? The connection? Yeah, yeah, you that's the overall theme.
Eric Oberembt:Okay, right, that's the overall theme of the book, but I mean it breaks down and I have a whole chapter on. I have a whole chapter on doing what you say you're going to do. Right, because people don't do that anymore, right, they do whatever benefits them, and there used to be a thing called your word, right? I mean, how many old Westerns do we watch? Right, where they're? Like, the only thing that I have is my word. Nobody gives a shit about that anymore.
Eric Oberembt:Yeah, and I think that that's what has declined society as a whole, because we've forgotten about how important that was. Right, nobody really lives by that anymore. They're like well, yeah, I said that, but like it's changed. It's like no, motherfucker, you said that this is what you were going to do, right? I said I was going to pay this guy this thing and this is what we agreed to, regardless of what they did or didn't do, I fucking said that this is what I was going to do. So all I have is my word, and the minute that people don't believe me anymore, I've lost everything. So, like, there's a whole chapter on that as well, but that leads to the base of it. Still of connection, right. So the overall theme is the connection, and if you ever feel like you're not able to connect with people and you can't figure out why, this is kind of a blueprint on how to do that.
Ty Cobb Backer:I love it. I love it. No, I, I, I love that so much and, you know, I, I, um, I'm, look, I'm really looking forward to, to, to reading, to reading this book. Um, so would you say that, um, you know, did you draw from your experience, um, and the roofing leadership, or speaking, um, you know, with all of your experiences? I guess I'm just trying to tie this question all together here. You know, how much of the Eric entrepreneur made it into this book.
Eric Oberembt:Quite a bit. Um, it's kind of a mesh of my recovery and how I integrated that also into my business and into my life, right, the lessons and the principles that I learned from you know doing the steps and how I integrate that kind of into my life. It's not directly talked about but it's indirectly talked about, right. So that cause I didn't want to scare anybody with you know any of the any, any of that, right, I didn't want anybody to think it was an AA book but like I run my business in my life based off of the principles you know of AA, so like it's obviously going to bleed, you know, into that Right, um, and so like that's, I don't know if that answers the question, but like that.
Eric Oberembt:That's what I'm trying to. Yes, my business side of it, like the Eric entrepreneur, is a hundred percent in there but also are the stories of my past that show how. Here's how I was, here's how I am now, and this is how I got there and this is how I'm going to continue to grow because I'm not done. And this is how I got there and this is how I'm going to continue to grow because I'm not done Right. I'm not done until I'm done Right, which could be tomorrow and it could be, fucking, 40 years from now.
Ty Cobb Backer:What do you think the hardest part of the book was writing and what do you think was the most inspiring part? So two part question what was the hardest part? Was it digging into your personal, your personal stuff, um, and not necessarily writing the book, but was there a moment where it was just kind of like man, I don't know if I should put that in there or not, or I'm going to because I really feel like this is going to impact somebody's life.
Eric Oberembt:So there's one part in the book that I toned down um, that has to do with organized religion, and I toned it down a little bit because I didn't want to push too many people away that couldn't read it without feeling attacked, because that was never the intention of the book. But what I go into that was the part where this would have been published probably two months ago, and I sat for like two months rewriting literally like two paragraphs that's it of the book because I didn't want it to be misunderstood, because I was really worried about. I was really worried about people misunderstanding what I was trying to say, because people always think that it's about them Um, and it's not Um. And and the premise of it all is is that we all live off a base of a set of beliefs. Right, and that's how we operate our lives and that's great. But what I believe is that a belief is just that. It's a belief and it's an opinion. And it is not my job to fucking tell you what your belief should be, right. It is not my job to tell you that you should believe in this thing, right, my job is to not even my job but like, but my job is to empathize with the fact that you have this belief and to try and understand where you're coming from, just so I can understand you better as a human right, and then maybe you care enough about me to understand, to care enough enough to ask why I believe what I believe.
Eric Oberembt:But at the end of the day, they are fucking opinions. They're all opinions, they're all guesses and and beliefs that we all have. There's 800 quote unquote religions in the world, right, and it's pretty fucking arrogant to assume that yours is the only truth. I just think that's fucking arrogant, right. I know there's people watching this that are going to you, motherfucker, you're going to hell and whatever. Like fine, okay, cool, am I going to your hell or am I going to mine? Or like what? Like what? It's all a set of beliefs, right, and that was the thing that I struggled with, because I know that there are people that follow me that are going to quote unquote, disagree, right, but at the end of the day, we all live off a set of opinions, right, and things that we have decided to believe in and have faith in and whatever in that and and and we need to have those things, right, and for me, it's thank God for AA, because AA gave me permission to believe in what I wanted to believe and not have to subscribe to what you do. Right, I don't have to fucking subscribe to that, because that's what everybody gets scared about coming into. You know, a recovery system. There's like, oh, I have to believe what Johnny believes, and or I'm never going to be able to get sober, and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Eric Oberembt:And this isn't a sobriety book, just so everybody knows. Right, this is just how I've lived, and so I struggle with that because I didn't want to push people away. I didn't want to push, I didn't want people to misunderstand, right, if they truly read what I wrote, none of it is offensive whatsoever. Unless you choose to take it as being offensive. That's on you. If you read something and you're like I'm offended, you fucking chose to be offended. It's a. You have a belief, I have a belief. Fuck you and your offense, I'm offended, right, it's ridiculous. You're the one that made the choice to be offended. So that was the struggle that I had. But the top of that paragraph says fuck it, this is my book, I can write whatever I want and people can either like it or they don't Right.
Eric Oberembt:The other struggle that I had was that, um, the title and the fact that I do speak in the book as I speak is like I wrote it. There's no fucking AI, there's no, no bullshit in here. Like I wrote the fucking book, right. So when you read it, you will hear me and my publishers were concerned about it and wanted to. They're like oh, we have to, we have to bleep this out and block this out and do all this stuff. And they're like or we can't get it published on so-and-so and so-and-so and I'm like I don't fucking care, Right, I don't care, hold on Fucking Natalie's calling me.
Ty Cobb Backer:Sorry, honey, I'm on a podcast, I know.
Eric Oberembt:Like yeah, she doesn't care.
Ty Cobb Backer:I'm trying to call me earlier too. I don't know. Yeah, I texted her, we're live. Maybe she fat fingered it, probably no, I I can.
Ty Cobb Backer:I can relate so much to, to what you were saying, and and and you know people forcing religion and and and things like that and down your throat, so I can definitely see your side of it and it doesn't make me feel any different or ill of you. And listen, I've been to church three times in my entire life and at least two out of three times, if not all three times, I didn't even know I was going to a church service. I thought it was something else that we were doing and, of course, most of that had to do with Jana and her dad. But I mean, I enjoyed it, I listened to it and I do believe that there is a power out there greater than myself, or else I wouldn't be standing here.
Ty Cobb Backer:And you know, and I do choose to call God, and God, you know, is a metaphor for a lot of things, a gift of desperation that I was so blessed with early on in my recovering journey. And you know, a group of drunks, good, orderly direction, all those things you know and I do, I get on my knees and I pray, but I'm not a hundred percent certain what I'm praying to all the time. You know what I mean. But I just do know and I've seen the miracles happen in my life.
Eric Oberembt:The point of all of that, though, is because I don't want to go into a whole God conversation, because that isn't the point of any of it. It's just me saying, it's just me trying to tell people that you shouldn't be judging other people based on what they do or don't believe, whether it's politics or religion or whatever. Religion is just the easy one, right, like, and that's the one that, like, really pokes at people. But, like, whether it's religion or it's politics or it's, it doesn't matter what. It is Right Like I'm going to disagree with somebody on the far left fucking woke bullshit, you know thing that I don't agree with. That I think is fucking wacky and crazy. Right, it's the same thing. It's just as divisive, right, if you're talking about politics as well.
Eric Oberembt:But the other thing that I'm going to do is I am going to take a moment to be like why do you believe that? I'm kind of curious? Am I curious, right? Here's a better way to put it. Are you a curious person, right? Like, here's a better way to put it. Are you a curious person, right? Are you a curious person to give a shit enough to be able to want to ask questions, to learn about other people and why they do the things they do, why they believe the things they believe. Right, it's not about you're right or you're wrong, right, it's none of that. It's just do I care enough about other humans to care about the fact that they do believe something? Right, it's none of that, it's just do I care enough about other humans to care about the fact that they do believe something? Right? It's not going to change my mind necessarily, and I'm not trying to change theirs at all.
Eric Oberembt:Right, I do not need you to believe what I believe, whether it's politics, religion, business. Right, I mean business, how I operate at home. I don't need you to believe any of that, right, I just need you to give a shit enough about hey, why do you do that? Right, let's make us all question what we do and what we think, because it might open our minds up to a greater thing. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I'm not going to hate you because of it. That's the difference. Does that make sense? Totally, and I think that that's where the world has went to shit, because we don't ask questions and we don't care about other people. We care about what they believe.
Ty Cobb Backer:We're so judgmental and we're not curious enough to understand or listen to to their side of it. And this is the thing I think the older I get, the more open-minded I am to things, because I have realized how wrong I've been on so many different topics. You know what I mean, and it's kind of like I've learned to ask a little more questions than opposed to being so judgmental, especially with the way the world is today. I don't necessarily agree with a lot of things that are going on in the world today in the world today, but I've also gotten better about not judging that person because they believe a certain way, because I've found out like I've liked people and I've actually loved other people and then come to find out their belief systems whether it's religion, politics didn't align with mine. So why should it matter now?
Ty Cobb Backer:Because now that I found that out about them that they, they, they might be on the left side or on the right side, or whatever the case might be why would my opinion or my feelings about them change just now? Because I know something like that about them and I've recently have discovered certain things like that. And it's like you know, we partner up with a local organization here, and I know their belief systems don't necessarily align with mine, but our mission and our goal when we partner with them is the same. So everything outside of our mission doesn't matter, right? We don't talk about it, we don't bring it up. The only thing that that we talk about in the topic is what the goal is that we're trying to do.
Eric Oberembt:We're trying as long as they're not hurting other people yeah, and they're not.
Ty Cobb Backer:They're really not right, they're really not in their in the way that they believe. So you know, I think it really has to do with maturity and keeping an open mind. Um, and, and how's that that? There's a saying that, um, um, stay curious and not judgmental, or or some something.
Eric Oberembt:I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some philosopher or somebody says it or some something like that the only reason that we believe some of the things that we believe is because we were born when we were born Right Right, or we would have been born 500 years ago. We'd have a completely different set of beliefs.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yes, I agree, I agree, and it was.
Ty Cobb Backer:I think a lot of our childhood influences had impacted the way that we think today, whether it was our school teachers or our parents, you know.
Ty Cobb Backer:And and that's it's sad, because I think we, we, we are developed with such a closed mind, right, and then, when we get old enough and we can think for ourselves, at some point in time, I think a few of us learn to open our minds and change our paradigm a little bit, or expand our paradigm, I should say, because I don't even want to look at it as if it's a paradigm shift. I want to look at it as if my paradigm has broadened, grown, grown right, and I try, and I'm not perfect at it, but it's good, that's no, that's a good topic, it's a good. I'm glad you put that in there. So let's switch up here a little bit. Let's go to the other side of the spectrum. What do you think was the most rewarding part or section of the book? That that you found? That just was like, yeah, then you just felt fulfilled after you completed that chapter or sentence or whatever, getting to getting to tell people a little bit more about my grandpa.
Ty Cobb Backer:That was that was really.
Eric Oberembt:That was important to me. Um, it was also really cool that the book got released on his birthday. Um, and that was like that was a total accident. Um, that was not planned, not planned. My publishing group was like let's do it on the 21st and I'm like, wow. I was like, okay, yeah, let's do that.
Eric Oberembt:But he was such an influence in my life and was literally my best friend, the person that I could talk to about anything. Person that I could talk to about anything. Um, like, no matter how bad things got, I could always talk to him and I have been. I've always looked for that person again, right, um, because, like you can't talk to your wife all the time about everything that you're dealing with and you know whatever, like you got to keep some of that to yourself because you know you just do um, but having that person that you can always go to, with no judgment whatsoever, you can tell them the shit you know that you're embarrassed to talk about to other people and I am, I am who I am today because of who he was and not a lot of people got to meet him.
Eric Oberembt:He died about 10 years ago and so on the journey that I've been on for the last 10, 12 years, not a lot of people got to meet him and I got to tell some stories about him in the book. Him in the book and I'm, selfishly was just really excited for people to know who he is, you know a little bit better, um, and how he helped mold me, and I think that was really rewarding just from a selfish standpoint, so that when Tegan you know maybe see has this sitting on her bookshelf in 30 years she still gets to remember grandpa and she still gets to remember me. It's why I'm going to record the book as well is so that when I'm dead she can go back and she can hear me this you know into life, um, and and then I'm never gone, you know Um, so that that was the most rewarding thing for me.
Ty Cobb Backer:I bet, I bet, I bet I only got a couple more questions for you. I know you have, um, a hard stop here. Um, so, I guess was there. So I started to write a book and when, during this process of writing book of course I didn't launch it yet, cause I too, you know people were like, hey, you should write a book, so I have this running I too, you know people are like, hey, you should write a book, so I have this running. I call it my why and it's in my notes on my phone, my iPad, and I mean I have these thoughts and I just put them in there. But during this process of writing this, I was inspired, you know, with a topic for another book. So did is there another book? When you were writing this, I guess was. Was there like, oh man, that that would be another great book. So would would you say that there was something in during the process of writing this book that may inspire a second book?
Eric Oberembt:Maybe, um, not yet. I need to, I need to really digest this. What I think will happen is I'm waiting on the feedback that I get from this book to hear what people would like to hear more about Right, um, because then I can craft something that I know impacted people, because if they come back and they're like, dude, this chapter, man, I wish you would have wrote a whole book on that right, then I can go back and do that, but like an offshoot right now, no, but I think that something will come out of this and it's going to be based on the people that read it that come back and say man, this is this, this changed how I do things. I wish we could have went a little bit deeper, you know, into that, and so that's what I think will happen. Okay, yeah, but I don't have I don't have a good answer for that of like yes, it was there. Like.
Ty Cobb Backer:I, I want it to happen organically. Yeah, yeah, it was like I want it to happen organically. Yeah, that totally makes sense. And me, I get distracted so easily so during one book I've already written five books because I can't focus on the one. But no, that totally makes sense, that once it comes out and you get your feedback and things like that, that might inspire one of the chapters to turn into a more detailed book. So, no, that, that that totally makes sense. And before, before we forget, if someone's listening who's been thinking about, um, writing a book, what advice would you give them?
Eric Oberembt:Stop talking about it, just do it. I mean, I, I had to pull the fucking trigger. Um, you know, I talked about it for a while and I, literally I met a friend his name's Daniel Ferguson, um, at my, uh, golf club, my country club, here in Omaha, and we were playing golf and he had told me he was like, yeah, I wrote a book. And I'm like, oh really, I'm like what'd you write a book about? He's a wealth advisor and he wrote a book and it wasn't about wealth advising. And it was that moment of like why the fuck, why am I not doing this? And he gave me the contact information of this person that he worked with at Game Changer Publishing and I was like you know what? I'll have a call with them. And then, once they explained to me the process and how easy it could be if I actually did it, for me it was paying the money. Because the minute that I stroked the check, I was like, okay, I'm in right now.
Eric Oberembt:I got to now. I got to do it right. I stroke the check. They're going to make all these deliverables, but I have to build the thing to be able to get those deliverables. And I think that if it sits off to the side and you don't make that actual commitment to I'm doing this, I'm dedicating this much time in a day to writing or recording or whatever. However you're writing the book, you have to make the decision and then you got to put some skin in the game, because if you don't put any skin in the game, you're just going to fiddle, fuck with it for 20 years and it's never going to come to fruition.
Ty Cobb Backer:No doubt I agree, and that's that's been some of my issue. I haven't stroked that check yet, but there is a publishing company that my coach actually turned me on to. Great, great advice, though, and before I forget where can people get your book right now and support you?
Eric Oberembt:Yeah, amazon, I mean, that's the easiest right. Go to Amazon and then just search Eric Oberamt and it'll pop right up. Shut the fuck up and listen more. Pop up right on Amazon. I'll send you guys the link to Amazon or you can pull it up and copy it and put it in the chat there. For some reason I can't chat in it. But, yeah, amazon's the best way to get it and it comes in. You can get it on Kindle. You can get a soft cover or a hard cover.
Eric Oberembt:I'm going to order a bunch of hard covers if people want me to sign it or something which is sounded really fucking horrible me just saying that, but I know that there are people that do want that, and so, um, that's the. I love hardcover books. Like to me, that's what goes on your bookshelf, right? Um, so that that's my favorite. I like reading a real book. Um, I've got a kindle and I read a lot of books on that too, but, like, I love having an actual hard copy book, like that's me too, so it gives me shit all the time.
Ty Cobb Backer:because I'll listen to the audio but I also have to purchase the hard copy of it. I just I do because I'll do both at the same time. I'll follow along in the book as I'm listening to it, especially if it's something I'm studying or I'm really really want to hear more or digest more more quickly.
Eric Oberembt:So 100% but Amazon is the easiest place to get it.
Ty Cobb Backer:Okay, amazon, we'll try to put that in the comments later if we can't get to it right. This second, one, last question for you, man If you could put one sentence from your book on a billboard for the whole world to see, what would it be?
Eric Oberembt:Shut the fuck up and listen more. I mean I mean it's literally why I titled the book that it shut the fuck up and listen more. I mean it's literally why I titled the book that it shut the fuck up and listen more. That all stemmed from, literally again, people coming to me in sobriety and wanting to get clean and then sitting down in a room and they're fucking two days sober and then they sit there and yap and tell me what they are going to do and I'm like whoa, if you fucking had all the answers, asshole, you wouldn't be sitting in this room right now. So maybe you could shut the fuck up and listen and stop talking so goddamn much.
Eric Oberembt:And what's interesting about that is that it correlates so much into life and business too, because in business, when you try to go into a room that you feel like maybe you don't belong in, most people start talking too goddamn much because they feel like they have to look the part right. And if you go, sit in those rooms and you watch, the people who are the quietest are usually the ones that are the smartest and they have the most information to give. But they're waiting, they're waiting and then they're absorbing everybody else, because they're actually learning and growing. You don't learn shit by talking. You have to remember that you don't learn anything by talking. When you talk, you're trying to impart something on someone else, right? You can only learn and you can only grow if you're listening.
Eric Oberembt:So if your goal is to grow and become something different, then shut the fuck up and stop talking so goddamn much and listen to other people and stop crafting your fucking answer while you're supposedly listening, right, while you're supposedly listening. Right, listen to the whole thing that they're saying. Then come up with what you're going to say next. Right? That's the key, and I know you and I have talked about that, you know on numerous occasions, but it needs to be said more and more and more and more, because there's so much noise in the world and everybody wants to be heard, but nobody wants to listen anymore.
Eric Oberembt:Yeah, and so we? Just we have to listen more, because once we listen more, we can empathize more. Yeah, we can empathize more, and then we can start connecting more with people, right? So, but the first step is to shut the fuck up. Just just shut up and stop telling me what you're going to do. Just shut up and listen, and then let's have a conversation that's back and forth, where you're actually listening to what I have to say and I'm actually listening to what you have to say, and then we're crafting responses based off those words, not what's going on in our head while you're talking.
Ty Cobb Backer:So true, such great advice too. The know the world needs to listen more, shut up and and you know talk less and listen more and be open-minded and not just shut your mouth but shut your mind off, you know, while while someone's speaking. And that's something, it's a skill, it's something that you can work on, it's something that you can or engage it differently.
Eric Oberembt:Don't shut it off, but engage it differently. Right, get outside of you and get into them so that you can actually take in what they're saying.
Ty Cobb Backer:Yeah.
Eric Oberembt:Right, and again it's just another way of saying what you already said. Right, but like yes, sorry.
Ty Cobb Backer:I go on a dance, that's okay. No, this was today was definitely all about you, eric. I want to do whatever I can do to support you, because I know this is going to be an amazing book. I am thrilled. I can't wait to. I'm tracking it as the days, the minutes go by here until I get it. I do feel some kind of way that I wasn't one of the first people to have a book. But uh, it's okay, I'll forgive you for that. You mean, like, because you didn't just send me a special copy that was signed?
Eric Oberembt:I didn't get one.
Ty Cobb Backer:Oh, you didn't get one either I don't know.
Eric Oberembt:They literally just sent me my first author copy yesterday.
Ty Cobb Backer:Bastards yeah, I know. So, yeah, anyhow, otherwise you otherwise you would have been I was just busting your balls, but I know.
Ty Cobb Backer:Thank you so much. I know you gotta get going here and you're busy. Thank you for carving out the. You know the time to come on the show today. Uh, congratulations, man. I can't express that enough. You know, congrats on the big launch of your third book. But I think this one's truly special. I can just see the, the, the passion in your eyes right now with this, and you should be very proud of yourself, because I know that this isn't an easy feat to to accomplish. You know. You know writing a book just in itself and then being proud of it and not really having any regrets, and so. So thank you so much, and thank you for everybody for listening and chiming in.
Ty Cobb Backer:If you think anybody out there may get something from this podcast, please share this with them Like love. Don't forget to subscribe to. We're on every single fricking platform now. Even I heart radio, so don't forget to check us out. Share this with with somebody you feel that might get something out of this, and please go on to Amazon and order yourself about 10 books. Send them to Eric He'll. He'll sign them for you and we'll put his address in the in the car. I'm just kidding, um, just kidding, but no, the office address.
Eric Oberembt:you can put the office address yeah that's fine, I love you, man, thank you, Thanks, buddy.
Ty Cobb Backer:Have a great day you too, yep. Bye-bye.
