Tonya Steinborn Escaped a Doomsday Cult In Search Of Her True Self

What happens when your entire worldview is built on fear? When every decision about what to wear, what to listen to, and even how to pray is dictated by others? Tonya knows this reality intimately, having grown up in a doomsday cult in Southern Alberta that prepared its members for an apocalypse that never came.

From the tender age of five, she was taught that everyone outside her religious community – her teachers, classmates, and friends – would perish when the end times arrived. She describes sitting in classrooms, looking around at peers she cared about, knowing they were all "marked for death" according to her family's beliefs. As a naturally sensitive and spiritually gifted child, this burden was particularly heavy, creating a profound disconnect between her innate connection to the natural world and the windowless buildings where she was told God resided.

The restrictions were particularly severe for women and girls. Tonya reveals how women weren't permitted to pray if men were present in the house, and if they needed to pray alone, they had to cover their heads with cloth to symbolize submission to male authority. At sixteen, the church attempted to arrange her marriage to someone she barely knew – after just one chaperoned date and a year of exchanging letters, she was expected to commit her life to this stranger.

When Tonya made the courageous decision to leave at eighteen, she lost nearly everything – her community, her identity, and most painfully, her family. Five of her six siblings remain in the cult, and she's had no contact with them for thirty years. The cult teaches that those who leave are "dead," effectively erasing their existence from the community's collective memory.

Despite these profound losses, Tonya has rebuilt her life on her own terms, reconnecting with the spiritual gifts she was forced to suppress as a child. Now a healer, ghost hunter, and author of the children's book "Whispers from the Farm," she helps others – particularly sensitive children – embrace their unique perceptions of the world without fear or shame.

Her story is a powerful testament to resilience and authenticity. As Tonya puts it: "Don't be scared to be weird. Just be authentically yourself... The right people will find you." For anyone struggling to break free from controlling relationships or ideolo

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Transcript

Introduction and Haunted Memories

Speaker 1 0:14

Cheers, cheers, and welcome to the Afternoon Plenty. I'm Mike Colby, I'm Matt Conrad, and who do we have with us today?

Speaker 2 0:20

Tanya Stifler.

Speaker 1 0:22

Tanya, you've been here before.

Speaker 3 0:23

Yeah, so the last time that you were here, last time we met, like were together, you stuck me in a tunnel underneath a building that was haunted.

Speaker 2 0:32

Yes.

Speaker 3 0:32

Yes, so welcome back.

Speaker 2 0:36

He survived, I so welcome back.

Speaker 3 0:38

He survived, I did survive, I was blindfolded and had headphones on and, yeah, in these creepy tunnels under the city of Halifax. So you are a returning guest.

Speaker 2 0:48

Yeah. You should pause and just say like that was not anything you know, adult, it was for an experiment to kind of get in touch with spirits and stuff.

Speaker 3 1:00

It was a haunted ghost investigation. It took us on Paranormal investigations, right you?

Speaker 1 1:05

guys, you blindfolded him and put earphones on him, right, yeah, yeah, they did. And then what was the purpose of that? Again, I'm just trying to remember.

Speaker 3 1:13

Because it was just static and you guys who were up you, you know, not in the tunnels um were asking questions to the ghosts in the building and I was, uh, saying the answers that I was hearing, seeing how the questions matched up with the answers some of them did pretty good some of them wind up. Weirdly weird, do you?

Speaker 3 1:35

remember them calling my name, saying yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was cool so so you're a returning guest, but we wanted to have you back for a while now, because you said something in that original podcast that we were like, oh, you just dropped it, really you dropped it.

Speaker 2 1:50

Yeah, just like no warning. Just there you go.

Speaker 1 1:53

I grew up in a cult, yeah, and we were like holy shit, yeah, and uh, you know that was. It was like kind of a kind of not something you hear every day, right, and uh, we talked about it after and we said, man, we didn't really get much about her growing up in a cult which seemed like a very maybe one of the most interesting things that were said that that episode yeah very much so and when we had the chance we talked.

Speaker 1 2:17

We were like man, we want, want to get her back to talk about this. We want to really understand what you were going through, what happened and all this what?

Speaker 3 2:24

brought you to here, but this was the great, this was the perfect timing, and we can get into this a little bit later, but we'll talk about your book, so this is kind of the perfect time so we can save the book stuff for the end to kind of pitch that and all that um, and I got to read it today. But so, uh, before we get started talking about your life growing up, uh, I just want to say thank you to the old number seven. We are out in jador on the eastern shore. I am having a really, really great tasty caesar, what do you have in there, mike?

Speaker 1 2:53

I got the number seven draft they make here. It's awesome. All right, nice light beer, I'm you.

Speaker 2 2:58

I actually don't know. You surprised me. You ordered a drink, you got a Strongbow cider, my friend, okay. Yeah, so there you go.

Speaker 1 3:04

It's 42%. No just joking, I think it's a low alcohol. Beer Ciders are what Usually? 6%, 5%, five.

Speaker 2 3:16

Strongbow is 5%. Yeah, that's a good thing, because I'm a lightweight. Yeah, there you go, cool.

Speaker 3 3:21

And these are small beers.

Speaker 1 3:22

Those are actually small beers, yeah so they shouldn't cause too much trouble.

Speaker 3 3:25

And this is Friday the 13th.

Speaker 2 3:27

Yes, it's a good day.

Speaker 3 3:29

Creepy, spooky stuff, that's spooky a little louder than usual.

Speaker 2 3:35

And it was just the strawberry full moon.

Speaker 3 3:37

There you go. I have no idea what that means. Sounds delicious. Well, you know how, like the moon, has been read the last reading, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 3:44

It's a strawberry full moon and Friday the 13th is actually the day of the goddess.

Speaker 1 3:49

So it's been like kind of changed into a scary thing, but it's actually a good day, see, so I actually love friday the 13th so does harry swift really that's true, yeah, you and t swift got something mean swift, yeah, that's yeah yeah, we both, they're bonding you know, in 13, that's right there you go all right let's get on.

Speaker 3 4:09

We're going to talk about cults, because this is the most interesting thing that you can talk about. My wife loves that stuff really so yeah. So let's get kind of rolling in here I mean first off let's on an elementary level.

Speaker 1 4:23

What is a culture?

Speaker 2 4:24

well, I mean, I think the definition would be kind of different for a lot of different people, right? So for me, what that would define is something that really, um, completely takes over your entire life and your entire mindset controls every aspect of that. So what you eat, what you wear, what music you listen to basically everything that we would make normal choices over is basically kind of like mandated by this church or this organization, right?

Speaker 1 4:59

Right.

Speaker 2 5:00

So I grew up that way, like I had to dress a certain way, I had to speak a certain way as a woman.

Speaker 3 5:07

And where was this? I had to be subservient Southern Alberta. Southern Alberta Okay.

Growing Up in a Doomsday Cult

Speaker 2 5:10

Yeah, yeah. So as a woman, it was even harder.

Speaker 1 5:15

Can you tell me exactly where in Southern Alberta it was?

Speaker 2 5:18

Well, it was very, very south.

Speaker 1 5:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:20

So I have to be careful because I have family. All my family members are still in, okay.

Speaker 3 5:25

Wow.

Speaker 2 5:25

Yeah, I'm not part of it, and so I've been shunned.

Speaker 3 5:29

No respect then.

Speaker 2 5:30

Right, yeah, so I've had no communication with five of my six siblings for probably 30 years.

Speaker 3 5:38

Wow.

Speaker 1 5:44

Yeah, of my six siblings for probably 30 years. Wow, yeah, my nieces, my nephews nothing, no, and as far, as you know, they're all still involved with this.

Speaker 2 5:48

Oh yeah, very much, so very, very much so my brother um, who just passed. He, him and I were the only ones that had left and we're both free thinkers, so it's like at a very young age I knew something wasn't right and he he is too like he was very open-minded.

Speaker 3 6:02

So so you uh that's the thing I was gonna ask is like what age did you really um kind of start to realize like something's not right?

Speaker 2 6:12

well, honestly, it started really young. Um, because I am very spiritual and I am very connected. I tell the story that kind of my first time I realized something wasn't connecting was when I was like a little girl, probably about even like six, five, six years old, and I would lay in the grass field and I would feel super connected to everything, like I felt really connected to everything around me and part of it all. And then my mom would say time for time to go to church and she'd bring me in the house, put a scratchy dress, tight shoes, put me in a building and say this is where we worship God and I was like this feels so separate from where I was, like I felt so connected to everything. And now I feel in a building with no windows and this man's talking all this fear and doom and it felt it just didn't feel right.

Speaker 3 7:09

It didn't feel right Characterize it as a doomsday cult. Yeah, so like what is it like in terms of like kind of like the beliefs and stuff like that? Was it like a like a Christian sect?

Speaker 2 7:20

Yeah, okay. So I wasn't sure if it was like something like off of yeah, okay, so yeah, fundamentalist.

Speaker 3 7:26

Right.

Speaker 2 7:26

Like really, you know, normal Christians would go to church on Sunday and have some you know tea and crackers after and everything's great. No, like we're preparing for the end of the world.

Speaker 1 7:37

No, we were preparing for the end of the world, oh yeah. And what did they say about that? What was like? I mean, as a kid, you remember what were your bedtime stories about? Were they about the world ending Terror? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 7:49

So we were told everyone was going to die. My teachers were going to die. Everybody that I'd come across, my schoolmates, were all going to die.

Speaker 1 7:56

Was there a set date, we would be the only ones.

Speaker 2 7:58

There was a rough estimate, but it's all like in God's time. You know like, and then you're supposed to watch for signs, right?

Speaker 3 8:05

So I remember, so you were seeing teachers and all that. So you were not, you were not isolated, we weren't.

Speaker 2 8:10

You were still going to public school and stuff. Right, we were in the world. Okay, all right, sensitive child and I'm, you know, really soft-hearted and I'm seeing all these people that I'm like, like imagine sitting in a classroom and going. Like all these people I care about, that are my friends, are all going to die any day, and how old were you then at? That time Five years old. My gosh, like you're taught this soon, could you imagine?

Speaker 1 9:18

thinking about that as a six-year-old or a five-year-old right, not just unicorns and things.

Speaker 3 9:24

Yeah, over a firework, right? Yeah, not just unicorns and things. Yeah, you should be playing with barbies. So they it was. It was a lot of like, uh obviously like that kind of prep type of stuff, uh, like prepping yeah, armageddon um, but like as far as you know, because I mean obviously cults come with other weird things that can happen like is there? Was there anything else that was kind of going on like that? That was just way out there, like I know. Like you know, there's polygamy stuff and all that other weird stuff.

Speaker 3 9:51

That kind of happens. I know, I was in a a town last year. I was in the summer yeah and I was in a place in northern arizona like right on the border of utah yeah and they had a town where the the former mayor, okay used to run like a and all the council was part of this. Like cult.

Speaker 2 10:09

Yeah, and it was a religious cult yeah anyway, he went to jail in 2013 for basically like child brides right, yeah, so I don't know if there's anything like that there there was, it wasn't. It wasn't open in the way that, like that was part of the teachings, but a lot of stuff went on.

Speaker 3 10:27

Yeah.

Life Inside: Rules and Control

Speaker 2 10:28

Like a lot of abuse went on yeah, physical abuse, and it would happen in front of everybody. I remember like little kids beside me wouldn't sit still for the teachings, and just literally in front of everybody their parents like slapping them so hard they'd fall off their chair.

Speaker 3 10:48

Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:49

For not sitting still. These kids are four. How are they supposed to sit still for two?

Speaker 3 10:52

three hours, oh, exactly.

Speaker 2 10:54

And everybody just sat there and allowed it to happen, right? So there was things like that. There was basically a rule that if, say, you were being molested or some terrible thing like that was happening, two other people had to witness it.

Speaker 3 11:12

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 11:13

And things are dealt with in the church.

Speaker 3 11:16

Yep.

Speaker 1 11:17

So let's just say… it's not really a system of justice.

Speaker 2 11:21

It 100% is it victimizes women and children a lot, and I saw a lot of that and experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So imagine you know your, your uncle, your dad, your brother's doing something to you. Two other people have to come forward.

Speaker 1 11:35

You have to sit in there with your perpetrator right in front of a bunch of panel of other men and you can be a child, yeah absolutely yeah, and they kind of have their own justice, which, when you, isn't really I mean, as a kid, you probably brought home stuff that was, you know, full of happiness and sunlight, like bringing home. Uh, you know, you hear about a character in school that's popular like a mickey mouse type character, you hear everybody else and you start kind of living in a funner imagination. Were you scolded out of that? Or like what happened when you did those normal things that kids do, because they're always, you know, seem quite you know manifesting their own happiness, in a sense, you know.

Speaker 2 12:15

I'll tell you a story about the Smurfs. Do you remember the Smurfs? Oh, hell, yeah, that was odd in itself.

Speaker 1 12:20

It was one like a thousand dudes in one woman's smurf, yeah, which is kind of weird, right, that's kind of weird. It's kind of an odd cult in its own sense. It kind of is.

Speaker 2 12:29

But I remember I loved watching the smurfs right Cartoons and I collected them and they were this fun toy. And then a church mandate I guess you could say they sent it to all the churches to basically tell everyone that the Smurfs were demonic and that they basically that's Smurfing Ridiculous, smurfing Ridiculous. So Smurfing over the top, but yeah, so get all your Smurfs. So I remember gathering all my Smurfs because they were telling instances of Smurfs waking like strangling kids in the night, like really crazy shit, okay.

Speaker 2 13:12

But like when you're in it, it's normal.

Speaker 1 13:16

Like you're on the shelf level terrifying that there's things moving around your house at night.

Speaker 2 13:20

Yeah, and so we had to like burn it in the bird, all the toys in the burning barrel, and I remember having night terrors because I couldn't find one of the smurfs and I like, but it's like, that's normal wow yeah, like on out of it you're going, like that was crazy, but like in it you're just like okay that they are demonic, I must find them and burn them.

Speaker 1 13:41

Were there even televisions in these, like where you live in?

Speaker 2 13:44

like yeah, yeah yeah, there was tvs, but we, we could only watch certain things right yeah, and listen to certain music and, um, like, as a female, we weren't allowed to pray if there was a man in the house you weren't allowed to pray pray. The man had to pray like so you know like so you know, like you pray over your meal.

Speaker 2 14:05

you're having lunch, so let's say the man was upstairs in his office and he couldn't come down and bless your meal. We would have to wear like, let's just say, this is all I had as a napkin. I would have to put the napkin on my head to pray, to say or a tablecloth or a rag, whatever to represent my submission to the male in the house.

Speaker 1 14:28

Seems like humiliation, without even realizing it.

Speaker 3 14:31

That's what I was wondering.

Speaker 1 14:34

So the origins of this cult do you know how it happened, where this came from. Was there a particular person that kind of founded this organization?

Speaker 2 14:45

Yeah, yeah, and then basically, um that, yeah, it's a whole governing body.

Speaker 3 14:51

There's a whole lot of okay, yeah, like how old is it like? Was it something like it's like started in like 1968, or was it?

Speaker 2 15:00

yeah, it fairly early on, like I would say early, like it hasn't been around a whole long time I'd say probably gosh, I don't even know like 50, 60 years, maybe enough, so it was someone like fairly modern that just decided like, hey, we're separating from this yeah christian church and going further down the rabbit hole.

Speaker 3 15:20

Yeah, further down the rabbit hole.

Speaker 2 15:21

Yeah, further down the rabbit hole and a lot of, like I said, the doomsday of just like world ending all the time. And oh, you notice there's a lot of crows, there's a lot of like carrion, that's, yeah, like birds, because there's an increase in that, because you're going to have to eat all the dead bodies after God comes and destroys the world.

Speaker 3 15:40

Wow.

Speaker 2 15:41

So you're always looking for signs and it's really like and the thing that people don't maybe understand about being raised in that is that it really, really affects you the rest of your life. There's a lot of poverty that comes with this, because you're not allowed to have an education past high school they really discourageage you. So here you are. Like you know I was. I wanted to be an archeologist.

Speaker 2 16:07

I know weird right, but that's what I wanted to do, and then, no, you don't do that, especially as a woman. So even when you leave this, you're not set up to succeed in life and you're so sheltered that when you go into the world you're like this shiny thing that's super naive and then you attract kind of predators right.

Speaker 3 16:30

We know they can take advantage of it yeah.

Speaker 2 16:31

Because you just trust everybody and you're Pollyanna out there and it's just it's. It leads to a lot of trauma, actually.

Speaker 1 16:39

When did you leave? How old were you when you got out of this? I?

Speaker 2 16:41

was 18. I was 18. I was pieced out, 18.

Speaker 1 16:43

And was that an age where you got the chance to make a decision for yourself? Or was it just I'm out?

Speaker 2 16:49

Well, they tried to marry me off at 16.

Speaker 2 16:52

To somebody I didn't know, Wow, we had met at a big gathering and he came over when I was 16. My first like, oh, I like this boy, right, and we over like I was 16, my first like, oh, I like this boy. And, uh, we had to be chaperoned all of the time. Yep. So my younger brother chaperoned me. We went to a movie. We came home to my mom's house everybody was around. The church leaders in my church found out about it and we were not allowed to speak anymore.

Questioning the System and Escape

Speaker 2 17:19

We had to write letters for a year and then, after the year, we were assumed that now we're going to get married and I was like I don't even know this dude.

Speaker 1 17:32

So you had a one-year pen pal marriage. One-year pen pal marriage, oh, my dear God.

Speaker 2 17:38

So by then I'm like 17, 17 and a half and I'm just like this is not for me. Were they from the same, were they?

Speaker 1 17:44

from the same like, like I want to say hood but I don't know same area that you were from or were they from another area?

Speaker 2 17:50

They were from another city. Okay.

Speaker 1 17:52

So this, this cult, must've had other, like pockets pockets in other areas?

Speaker 2 17:57

Yeah, is there a?

Speaker 1 17:57

name of this cult. There again, I have to be careful, because I've got my entire family in it. I respect that. It's hard.

Speaker 3 18:12

Is it a situation where they recruit people or is it a situation where people?

Speaker 1 18:16

are Sorry. You're banging your hand on the table, Is it?

Speaker 2 18:20

a situation where they there's a lot of recruitment. Let's just put it that way. People can possibly start to make connections to what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 18:29

Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:29

Yeah.

Speaker 3 18:29

Yeah, so I mean there's recruitment, so I mean it's….

Speaker 2 18:34

And the recruitment's quite… Like I remember being a recruiter. At a young age they would go. You're cute little girls. We're going to get you to go do this and it would be things like oh, they just lost this, oh, she's a widow, she just lost her husband, so she's going to be basically pride picking to be recruited Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 19:00

Wow, so they were bringing the people of different ages and such as well, huh.

Speaker 2 19:03

Yeah, I had dogs sicked on me. I've had all sorts of stuff happen when I tried to tell people the truth and revert them and stuff, even at a young age.

Speaker 1 19:16

So would you have a book you'd go around with with values or pamphlets, to kind of?

Speaker 2 19:20

explain your way yeah.

Speaker 3 19:21

Interesting to kind of explain your way. Yeah, interesting. I guess it's one of those things where, too, is like you um, oh, this sounds like music's starting. I thought they were going to delay that, but all right oh well, either way we'll try to carry on, guys.

Speaker 1 19:36

If not, we might have to uh reconvene, but we'll see what's up yeah, we'll see what's up there you go.

Speaker 3 19:42

All right, cool, all right. It's one of those trying to get back to where we were, because I completely lost track.

Speaker 1 19:50

Now, guys, I think we've got to pause.

Speaker 3 19:53

Yeah, maybe, yeah, it's just going to be too difficult.

Speaker 2 19:56

It is yeah hey there.

Speaker 1 20:18

So yeah, it got a little loud out in the main floor. Uh bands, a guy started playing and knew he was coming, but we weren't sure what was going to happen.

Speaker 3 20:27

And the place is full. Yeah, the place is packed, literally full. Right, it's a.

Speaker 2 20:30

Friday night.

Speaker 1 20:31

The old number seven is a bumming place to go. They got a lot going on out there, right, so thanks to Will for letting us go into his it's his office.

Speaker 3 20:39

His office, his office down the office here. We're in his office now in the back of the restaurant.

Speaker 1 20:42

We're shoulder to shoulder in this place, but it works and people are probably thinking this is the best the show has ever sounded.

Speaker 3 20:48

Probably so. Thanks a lot. Will Great sound. Exactly, this is the best sound. So, Matt, where we left off, we were talking about cult recruitment and all that stuff Not being able to be educated and stuff like that right. Yeah, lo that back into like how hard it is to sell religion to people yeah um, when they don't feel they need it right but you were saying about how they you were recruiting like old people and like people that we know?

Speaker 1 21:15

yeah, yeah. Why would they recruit like older people? What's the value? Was it to take their money?

Speaker 2 21:20

well, not just older, but if anybody had a big loss.

Speaker 1 21:23

Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 21:24

Right, because, like, you're going to get people looking for something, some answers, some meaning something when they're at their lowest.

Speaker 3 21:34

Right.

Speaker 2 21:35

Right. So when you hit people with save your soul and like, oh my God, you're going to go to heaven, and like this is, you know all those story lines, when they're at their, their lowest point, they are way more susceptible, way more susceptible to those types of messages yeah, and even, and sometimes even like if they lost someone like really close to them they're also just looking for that like meaning again in their life and

Speaker 2 21:59

you swoop in and tell them to drink the kool-aid yeah and and like I mean just meaning of life, but they want to know that their loved one is okay.

Speaker 3 22:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:09

Like oh, they're not just gone. It's like no, they're actually in heaven and they're living their best life, you know, even though they're dead.

Speaker 3 22:17

Yeah, but with that, though, that is something that you have carried on through your post-cultish lifestyle.

Speaker 2 22:26

Right.

Speaker 3 22:27

Right, because you still very much like connect with the spiritual world.

Speaker 2 22:32

Yeah, and that's one thing I have to say I'm very grateful for is that that upbringing gave me the concept of that? There's something else.

Speaker 3 23:04

Right, you were saying about how you're grateful, about how that introduced your spiritual Like the concept, yeah, the concept of spirituality, of other something else, yeah, so yeah, I mean, and that's carried out throughout my whole life, because it's kind of like the matrix, what do you think? Is it the blue?

Speaker 2 23:21

or the red pill, I don't know. Yeah, it just, is it blue or red? The matrix red. Yeah, it's not even your favorite movie, you don't?

Speaker 1 23:28

know. No, it's a red.

Speaker 3 23:29

All right cool.

Speaker 2 23:30

So once you take that red pill, there's no going back, right? So it did open up my mind to other worldly things as far as.

Speaker 1 23:45

I mean we kind of.

Speaker 3 23:46

I guess a little covered about how it reacts to you going into the real world, but there must have always been a part of you that never really bought it if you were gone the minute you could go.

Speaker 2 24:00

Yeah, 100% Like. I said like even so, I remember being probably 10, 11 years old and having to have a like emergency meeting with the elders because I was questioning things that they couldn't answer so things like okay, so you're telling me that god is love yeah, yeah that god he's love yeah but yet in the bible there's all these examples of all these horrendous things, going like soom and Gomorrah and, like you know, like lots of wife turning to salt because she turned around.

Speaker 3 24:35

Right.

Speaker 2 24:35

Like you know, stories of just slaughter and because what you didn't believe them Like I, just it didn't make sense. Yeah, it didn't make sense. I just it didn't make sense. Yeah, it didn't make sense, Like as a mother. Even now it even makes less sense because there's nothing my kids could do that would make me not love them.

Speaker 3 24:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:57

There's literally nothing they could do. They can murder people and I would still love them.

Speaker 3 25:04

You know what that kind of. I won't talk about why it came up up, but it kind of came up today with somebody talking with somebody else and we talked about how, like there's nothing my kid could do, and I said if my, even if my kid turned out to be a psychopath and killed somebody, yeah, I wouldn't you, I wouldn't stop loving them, I wouldn't stop like having a relationship with them. Yeah, I would probably tell them to plead guilty yeah and take. Take the lumps kind of.

Speaker 2 25:33

Thing yeah, I'll come visit you in jail, but uh, yeah, I just, I could never, ever imagine like not having a relationship with like I would help them bury the bodies right, I would, I would, but I wouldn't stop loving them right, exactly right so so think of me as a and this was my point at 10 years old, talking to like four elders, four men that were like my superiors, like it doesn't make sense right because love and god's capacity to love would be more than my capacity as an imperfect human right.

Speaker 3 26:08

Exactly yeah, so god's capacity to love would be more than my capacity as an imperfect human right.

Speaker 2 26:10

Exactly yeah, so god's capacity to love would be so much greater than my capacity. How can I find forgiveness, but god can't find forgiveness?

Speaker 1 26:17

now, how did they react? Did they? Did your life get progressively more difficult?

Speaker 2 26:21

yeah, the thumbs start to come down on me a lot harder yeah, so like in what ways what? Happened uh, just even with the situation with the boy I met, like right, you know I was very singled out pen pals only.

Speaker 1 26:33

And yeah, isolated, yeah, and always your dress.

Speaker 2 26:37

Your skirts too short. Who?

Speaker 1 26:38

knows, maybe they thought the marriage thing was going to help tie you in closer yeah, keep you less of a problem.

Speaker 2 26:44

Yeah, a problem child but that didn't work. Yeah, no, it didn't, no because, like you said, there was always a part of me that just it didn't answer the things I needed.

Speaker 1 26:55

answered you must have had friends growing up, though, even in this group. Like how you know, how do you remember them or how do you miss them, or family and like you know? Do you know of anybody that you know got out?

Speaker 2 27:10

I know you said your siblings all stayed in except for one brother. Yeah, one friend reached out to me and we've talked, we keep in contact. But imagine, at 18 years old you decide you're not going to go to this church anymore and that means you will say goodbye forever your community your friends, your family, everything.

Speaker 1 27:34

Your identity is gone, everything's gone. Very well, right, like you must have changed your name or some extreme.

Life After the Cult and Spiritual Awakening

Speaker 2 27:39

No, I didn't, but I was dead. Yeah, like that version of me is dead when. I left, and rightly so. Like they said you're dead, you're dead to us. Wow, you're dead, you're dead to us.

Speaker 3 27:50

Wow, you're dead, so can you, can you like? Could you ever go back like, like you say, you're like uh, you know what, I'm back in, like I'm I'm I've come around, I'd have to jump through. It would be insane like that's the thing is like I wonder you know because, because they're constantly recruiting, I'm just wondering if they like re-recruit.

Speaker 2 28:11

I think I'm too far gone, Like I mean, I've come out as a witch, I've like I'm a ghost hunter, Like I'm so far gone.

Speaker 3 28:18

No, I don't even think that there's anything. I'm just saying, like Other people, yeah.

Speaker 2 28:30

Yeah, they've kind of gone back or whatever kind of thing. Public right, like? I'm a content creator, I've got millions of views on tiktok, I I'm so out there in public eye that I mean maybe that'd be a feather in their cap to be like oh well, that's a thing, right, if you look at like um, the, the, I mean, I mean totally different thing, but the mormon, uh, the mormon shows there, the mormon housewife shows that are taking on the, the wives.

Speaker 1 28:46

Yeah, we can't go everywhere I go, so it tells you about how amazing that show is, and I'm like how great is that for the mormons, in a sense, to have all these people paying their attention to the religion for a moment like yeah think about it in in a different way, yeah right, positive or negative, they don't know the other stuff well the thing is, though, is I mean like, when you really think about that.

Speaker 3 29:06

It's like are they aware of what it's doing? Because I mean, on one hand, maybe they think it's positive, but a lot of people don't. They watch it because.

Speaker 2 29:16

It's crazy town. Yeah, they're judging. We're watching it for the anarchy. Yeah, they're judging themselves right.

Speaker 3 29:22

We talked about this with our guests last week and everything about how petty and catty and not very Christian. Yeah, everything about how, how?

Speaker 2 29:33

petty and catty and yeah not very.

Speaker 3 29:34

Uh, christian, yeah, very, you know hypocritical that they, yeah, you, you see they are, and I mean they must watch the shows and then go like, wow, I'm coming across real shitty, right, I mean, you think, you think but, like you're thinking it from your mindset yeah, yeah, well like if you're thinking of it from somebody who's in that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 29:51

Like I burnt Smurfs because I thought they were going to choke me out in the night, right, right. When you're in it, your brain doesn't operate the same way.

Speaker 1 30:00

Oh, that's true.

Speaker 2 30:02

And these are things I've really started to unpack within myself is like how it's affected my relationships.

Speaker 3 30:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2 30:11

Right pack within myself is like how it's affected my relationships. Yeah right, because I have attachment problems, because I think there's part of me thinks well, you're, you're gonna die anyway, like, or you're gonna leave or whatever, like, so it's affected my bonding issues because everybody's gonna die right and you're taught that, even like your old family members, that in it could still not be good enough that they, you, could be tested in the time of the end, where you have to watch your mother be killed in front of you and you have to have the choice of whether to convert, I mean whether to give it, give it up or not to save your mother.

Speaker 2 30:47

What are you going to do?

Speaker 3 30:48

Right Like.

Speaker 2 30:49

these are the things you're taught as a kid. You know Crazy, so that does affect you. So there's the poverty, there's the fact that you go into a world you're not prepared for at all and you become a target.

Speaker 3 31:04

Are there any support systems at all, like when you?

Speaker 2 31:07

Well, I'm part of groups like survivors groups, and so we do support each other and talk and share things and and so within ourselves, informally, there's definitely support and and you do have to, you do have to seek help yeah, yeah because it affects only aspects of your life, yeah

Speaker 3 31:26

it's just, it's such a thing that like we, that like you, and I say mike, I mean I, I mean I grew up catholic and some people, to some people that's a cult, but I would argue it's very much not I mean as much as they have religious beliefs and things like that.

Speaker 3 31:41

It's also the largest charity in the world. Yeah, um, I'm since elapsed catholic for lots of reasons that we don't need to get into right now, but um it, uh, it's one of those things where, from people like you and I look on the outside and talking to so many people and everything, there's things that you don't even realize. Yeah, so, for example, I was at a work function years ago and how we start this show would be a problem for that guy.

Speaker 2 32:12

We started the show with the cheers cheers with cheers and it was.

Speaker 3 32:16

I remember we had this work function and I we like that particular person was had a beer, they drank beer and I was like cheers bud and he's like I don't do that and I was like, oh, um, probably why. It's like that's really. You know. I was like cheers bud and he was like I don't do that and I was like, oh, probably why. I was like that's really you know. I was like do you hate me? Like, and he was, and he just looked at me and was like, well, do you like actually, like seriously want to know?

Speaker 3 32:41

I was like, yes, I'm actually genuinely curious why you won't cheers me, and he was like just part of his beliefs. Won't cheers me, and he was like just part of his beliefs. He was a part of a particular religion that believes that when you cheers, you are essentially summoning spirits like the the goodwill of spirits or whatever it may be like you're summoning whatever I see and you are not supposed to dabble with spirits at all period and story yeah, so not, not even like in good intentions kind of thing.

Speaker 3 33:09

So he doesn't do that at all kind of thing, right, but that's something that's so like ingrained, and even after he told me that, I tried to make sure I remembered. Yeah, uh, because I spent a lot of time with him, because he was a colleague um, and I try to remember, but I still remember there was one time where I went I caught myself. I was like, yeah, the guy next to me cheers bud bud and I went, uh, yep, yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 33:31

Yeah, but those are things like guys like us would know, right, yeah, yeah, well, yeah, because it's like even like the Catholic Church was one that my particular sect despised. Yeah, because a lot of the stuff is pagan.

Speaker 3 33:47

That, yeah Right, because a lot of the stuff is pagan yeah.

Speaker 2 33:49

Right yeah so yeah, Exactly yes. So it's really it's all about fear.

Speaker 3 33:55

Yeah, and.

Speaker 2 33:55

I think at the end of the day, that's what I knew wasn't right.

Speaker 3 34:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:01

That little voice inside me as a little girl was just like I can't walk through the world, I can't carry my life on based out of fear.

Speaker 1 34:11

Right yeah.

Speaker 2 34:12

Because it's so dark, it's so like. It's just not the way I want to move through. The world is is based in fear and gloom and death and trauma and like it's hard enough.

Speaker 1 34:25

Yeah. Like life's hard enough so like getting on to like years later now. Yeah, I mean's hard enough. So like getting on to like years later now. Yeah, I mean, you know you've gone out of this thing.

Speaker 2 34:32

Congratulations Right For that, and you've had a good life You've raised children You've you know you've became a mom.

Speaker 1 34:37

You've done a lot of wonderful things.

Speaker 2 34:39

Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:40

You hunted ghosts and you have a healing business.

Speaker 3 34:43

Yeah, you have a healing business, okay.

Speaker 1 34:45

But so I guess now it's coming to a point where you're, you know you must of me. Now is the time for me to do this, to share those stories.

Speaker 2 35:12

This book is based. It does touch on the cult more in the way of because it's a children's book, right? So it touches it more as a way of being a sensitive, gifted child and because of the church, the cult, it suppressed my natural gifts and so it's those stories about how, basically, I had to suppress things and then how I came back into bringing those back into my life.

Speaker 1 35:44

So was the theme of the book like letting go of those suppressions, or how were you teaching through the book like letting go of those suppressions, or how are?

Speaker 2 35:49

you teaching through the book? Yeah, so basically, I wanted to write the book because I wanted to help kids like me, kids who do experience, because I did experience the spirit world when I was a kid and I got asked like how are they going to find this book?

Speaker 1 36:02

Because I mean obviously the places that protect it. You know are going to keep it away from them, right, if they want to figure this out, like, are you going to try to get in public libraries, or what's like this?

Speaker 2 36:11

yeah, that's my next step is libraries, bookstores, right now it's, you know, available on amazon and my publisher's uh website, but it's. But it's not even like kids who are in a cult, just people who kids who say are born to parents that are not into spiritual stuff at all right and they don't get why their kids so like talking to their imaginary friend named billy you know what I mean like so because when you say you're experiencing these things and then you have adults, parents or you know some people who you look up to say that it doesn't exist, then what happens?

Speaker 2 36:53

You shut that down because you're told it's not real. So those are the kids that I wrote this book for. Is the kids to be like that? If you are experiencing these things, it's not necessarily wrong.

Speaker 1 37:09

So it could be a kid that just doesn't maybe believe in the religion that's in his family or her family.

Speaker 2 37:12

Yeah, or maybe they're just born to parents who don't have any kind of spirit, communication or super like.

Speaker 1 37:17

Not into this at all, but they are it sounds interesting and I can take this out if you don't want to do it. What Did you want? To read a little bit of the book, like just on the show I can Like like just on the show. I can Like any part of the book you wanted to share with us. I was just going to get it up here because Matt sent it to me on the drive up and I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet.

Speaker 2 37:34

I know I should have said this. The story is called Whispers from the Farm.

Speaker 3 37:39

Well, that's the thing. So actually I can even just before she reads it there. So so tanya is a survivor, a healer and a guide for women reclaiming their power. After breaking free from a doomsday religion that suppressed her intuitive and healing gifts, she forged her own path, raising three daughters as a single mother, while rediscovering her strength today as a leader in divine feminine healing. Tanya empowers women through naturopathy, transformative retreats and education.

Whispers from the Farm and Healing

Speaker 3 38:06

So that's what you wrote in the back kind of like a description of you yeah um, which, which I I mean honestly reading that, I think a lot of people would gravitate towards. I think that speaks a lot of people yeah um, but yeah, we can pull up uh trying to pull it up here.

Speaker 1 38:22

It's uh taking a really long time to load.

Speaker 2 38:23

Maybe you're gonna have more luck on your phone now maybe yeah it's hard to say we have all this interference who illustrated the book my publisher okay people, who does that, who did the illustrations, and and he he deals a lot with heavy subjects. That's part of the reason I went with him is that he does deal with okay heavy subjects and puts it in a in a way that children can consume it, I guess right without probably I want that too small to read right there right from the beginning oh, I could probably read that.

Speaker 2 39:01

I just have to. Okay, I can try here. Um, tanya had always felt different. A tender thread woven into the fabric of a rural hobby farm, nestled far from the clamor of town life. To her family she was too sensitive. Excuse me, it's funny. My throat started closing off when I said that. Something to be tamed. But to her the gentle sway of the willow trees, the rustle of the corn and the silent communication with the animals. So what this is speaking to is the fact that I am very sensitive, very soft-hearted, and raising animals and slaughtering animals and also being sensitive to spirit. Communication in my childhood was not okay, right? So I talk in the book about how there were certain gifts I came into like scrying through and you guys would have seen a scry when we did the ghost hunt where we looked into the mirror and then things would appear.

Speaker 1 40:25

Well.

Speaker 2 40:25

I was doing that at five years old in the bathroom. I never even heard of it or seen of it. I just knew that when I looked in the mirror and the light was a certain way, I could see figures.

Speaker 1 40:34

Sounds like the end of a movie. Stuck in a cult seeing ghosts in the mirror.

Speaker 3 40:39

Yeah, Well, and in your book I mean because I went through it and everything like this afternoon and I did see that like kind of speaking to that spiritual side of things, I know, when you left and then you end up becoming a mother with your kids, you end up buying we talked about there, you bought like a farmhouse. And in the book it talks about how everything seemed great at first. Yeah, it literally like this sounds like the plot of a horror story Right, it's like everything seemed great at first.

Speaker 3 41:04

They moved to this new town in the country.

Speaker 1 41:05

Exactly, but then all of a sudden she started hearing voices, yeah. But literally that's what happened to you, though, yeah.

Speaker 3 41:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2 41:12

Yeah, because I had to shut all that down. So imagine being raised in this, this cult. It'd be right. And then, all of a sudden, you're saying like oh mom, I'm seeing my ancestors behind me, I'm talking to great, great, great grandmother.

Speaker 3 41:25

Right.

Speaker 2 41:31

And like mother and right, like no, that's a demon. So you shut that stuff down, right, you just shut it down because it's scary. Yeah, like this, thing that you naturally do is all of a sudden bad and it's scary, so I shut it down. For years I had to yeah so, um, when I started having my daughters is when it just finally came back because they were experiencing things.

Speaker 3 41:49

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 41:52

So, like, what do you do? I had to tap into this stuff from my childhood of like, okay, I've got to protect my kids, I've got to figure out what's going on, because my middle daughter was communicating and not having a good experience. I was having things walk up to me. Things smashed in the cup, like it was really like heavy-duty stuff.

Speaker 1 42:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2 42:15

So I had to go. Okay, I got to bring this stuff back online because I have to protect my kids. I have to figure this out because I don't want to live like that, you know, scared. I don't want to be in fear again.

Speaker 1 42:27

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

Speaker 2 42:29

Yeah, you know, scared, I don't want to be in fear again. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah. So then that that's what really spurred.

Speaker 1 42:33

Well, it was always there, like I was always experiencing things, but I just have you had any time like, have you tried like conventional therapies and stuff, or would? You always find no, no, I'm just asking not to be rude, you need help.

Speaker 2 42:44

No, no, no, no. I'm just curious.

Speaker 1 42:46

I'm asking out of kindness, like, did you try going to see like a therapist at any point?

Speaker 2 42:51

For like the cult deprogramming kind of stuff. Yeah, for all of it. Yeah, because I mean it would just kind of just see how you know, all this manifested in your mind.

Speaker 1 43:01

It must have.

Speaker 2 43:02

I mean, I went to therapy for some stuff, for sure, but like this was more, this was just different, like this. You have to understand. This is how I experienced the world as a child, so it wasn't anything scary it wasn't anything right different it was just something I had and then had to shut down, and then it.

Speaker 2 43:19

It's what made sense to me yeah, yeah right, like it's what, it's what made sense, and so, um, and then, like you said, like your kids are experiencing this. You never talked about it. Why are you know? All of a sudden they have imaginary friends that play with the toys in the closet when nobody's there in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 43:37

Yeah.

Speaker 2 43:37

Do you know how to explain that? So that really woke that part up.

Speaker 1 43:41

How are the kids now? Are they still kind of feeling that stuff?

Speaker 2 43:45

Not as much.

Speaker 1 43:46

No.

Speaker 2 43:46

No, they kind of. I think sometimes you just go, I just don't need to do this and to exist in this world right now right, so that's what I did too maybe it's interesting what happens when they have children down the road.

Speaker 1 43:59

Yeah, yeah, maybe you know the cycle will keep repeating. Yeah, it could be.

Speaker 2 44:04

I just think some people are born more sensitive than others and they experience things differently they. The world is just a little different for them, and so either you suppress who you naturally are or you don't.

Speaker 1 44:15

And.

Speaker 2 44:15

I think there's a lot of misery that comes with suppressing who you are.

Speaker 1 44:19

I believe that. Yeah, I believe that too, yeah.

Speaker 2 44:22

And so that's really what it's about. It's like to, if you are experiencing the world this way, you're not broken.

Speaker 2 44:33

You're not broken, you're not wrong, you're not possessed by a demon, right right, like this has brought me a lot of joy in my life and a lot of understanding of the spiritual world. And it's like I study ancient mystics. I study like I'm not. It's not just like wooey, let's get a crystal and put it right through the eye, like you know, like I study like esoteric, the masters, like a lot of some of the stuff you know starting to be scientifically proven. So it's not as like mystical Science is starting to actually speak to some of this stuff.

Speaker 1 45:02

It's fascinating stuff, yeah it really is yeah 100% yeah.

Speaker 3 45:06

It's blending quantum physics and science with the mystery.

Speaker 1 45:11

I also say it's getting really hot in this closet. Yeah, keep the door closed.

Speaker 2 45:15

Yeah, so Whispers from the Farm is what the book is called, yeah.

Speaker 3 45:18

So, and you said, it's available on the publisher's website and it's available online on Amazon.

Speaker 2 45:24

On Amazon yeah.

Speaker 3 45:24

So yeah, so definitely keep an eye out for that. I say we move right into our 10 questions because our 10 questions are definitely going to trigger some things, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 45:33

Yeah.

Speaker 3 45:34

So question number one I'll kick it off. So what other avenues in life do you see cult style behavior?

Speaker 2 45:42

Well, I see a lot like politics.

Speaker 3 45:45

That's where I see it, yep.

Speaker 2 45:47

I see a lot of it in these multi-level marketing companies.

Speaker 3 45:50

I can see that stuff too, these MLM companies.

Speaker 2 45:51

There's serious cult behavior there. I can see that, yeah, it's like ours is the best and that's it. And and like we're only friends with each other.

Speaker 3 46:06

And, like there's a lot of blindly follow somebody I mean I. You know, some people may or may love this or hate this, but I firmly believe that trump is a cult that's that's my thought, not republicans yeah, mega, because right they. I see so much of it where it's like you watch these people go in there and they talk to them and they say like, hey, you think this. And they're like, oh, yeah, I think this. And then they prove to them that they're wrong.

Speaker 3 46:30

Like they prove the opposite of what they think, and they're still like nah no that's not it and you're wrong. Like. That's a lie, that's fake news, right.

Speaker 2 46:39

Yeah.

Speaker 3 46:39

So that is like I see so much.

Speaker 2 46:42

But I could say that about Trudeau, people who believe Trudeau too, about a lot of stuff. And so I think, honestly, it's all of them.

Speaker 3 46:49

It is all of them, don't get me wrong. It exists in all of it. I just see it more in in MAGA than I see it anything else.

Speaker 2 47:01

But yes, I see it anything else but?

Speaker 3 47:02

yes, every single person who blindly because there are people blindly follows any political party, like the real party subscribers, where it's like have you ever have you voted for anyone else in the last 20 years? No, right?

Speaker 2 47:11

why right? But that's the difference between, like, free thinkers. Yeah, right, because what's happening there is, like are these even your thoughts? Like, and that happens with all sorts of things now I find like cancel culture like it's like, come on, like okay, fine, that's not your style of comedy, but do we have to cancel the dude just to watch it?

Speaker 3 47:32

you know what? Don't watch it. There was a comedian and I've actually kind of subscribed to this now. It was comedian said there's no such thing as cancel culture you just change your audience.

Speaker 2 47:40

Yeah, I kind of believe that now yeah, but it's that idea no that idea of cancel culture, of just basically like you don't believe what I believe, so that's it. You're, you're done and it's like. Personally, I like flavor, I like differences and if, if I can't have a conversation with you and not get mad, then is it my actual belief system, or who am I trying to convince myself, or you? Because either you really feel that, or you don't, and you're just trying to regurgitate what you've heard, I would have canceled this conversation and moved to question number two. Question number two. Question number two.

Speaker 1 48:21

What's your favorite movie?

Speaker 2 48:22

My favorite movie. Oh God, there's so many. Just one movie that you love Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings Cool. I'm a huge Tolkien fan, oh man you're one out of three.

Ten Questions with Tonya

Speaker 1 48:30

We're not Lords of the Rings fans here. No that's not true. You like it or person right, no, I'm a big. Tolkien fan. It's okay, though, yeah, all right.

Speaker 3 48:40

Question number three, just with the hobbits and stuff. All right, so question number three. This is a direct throwback to you. How do you think the world will end?

Speaker 2 48:49

How do I think the world will end? Oh God, I don't think it will. No, no, okay, I don't think it will.

Speaker 3 48:58

I mean, I think it will. It'll just be like 4 billion years from now.

Speaker 2 49:01

Yeah, and I think we'll just start again. It'll be the sixth extension and we'll start again.

Speaker 3 49:06

Yeah, it's just cycles. That's true. That's how I see it.

Speaker 2 49:08

It's just cycles, robots, yeah.

Speaker 3 49:11

I mean energy or robots.

Speaker 1 49:21

Or robots the other.

Speaker 3 49:22

So there is a theory that there's been multiple big bangs. So there is that. Yeah, all right. Oh, it's your turn, matt.

Speaker 1 49:24

No, I just asked that question, okay, question number four okay, this is a question, a terrible question, because while we were here, they have a trailer park boys special burger, yeah, so they kept playing the trailer park boys theme song over and over again here at the place to celebrate the burger that just came out today. So it was a lot of hearing the same song over and over again. But if you had to listen to one song forever, what would it be?

Speaker 2 49:48

Oh, these are hard questions.

Speaker 1 49:51

I just like so many different things, just one song you could listen to On repeat for a while.

Speaker 2 49:58

Music. I don't think I can answer that. No, you really can't. I can't answer that, no, no, you really can't. That's all right, I love music.

Speaker 1 50:04

We'd say take a drink. But we left them in the other room. We finished them. We already finished them.

Speaker 3 50:09

Okay, we'll go to the next question then. Yeah, have you ever been starstruck if you met a ghost that was famous? You ever been a little starstruck who was like a famous?

Speaker 2 50:22

celebrity. So who would be? Who would be edgar casey?

Speaker 3 50:26

edgar casey edgar he's the, the.

Speaker 2 50:29

He has the largest collection of psychic readings in the world okay, and he was called the sleeping prophet okay he would go into these, these trans-like states, and give incredible readings that were accurate, okay cool and he died in basic poverty because he did it for free, for people to help him.

Speaker 3 50:47

Oh, wow, yeah, Edgar Cayce, so okay. So if you're saying, if you ever met him in ghost form, you would be, starstruck.

Speaker 2 50:55

I'd be like, oh my God, Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 50:57

Oh my God, Over here, mike, okay, all right. Do you believe in aliens?

Speaker 2 51:02

yes 100.

Speaker 1 51:04

Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, why not? That's another podcast.

Speaker 3 51:07

I have a few experiences anyway, moving on, we'll see you again, uh oh, I think there's one that we skipped over, but I'll go back to it. Um, do you believe in evolution?

Speaker 2 51:19

evolution in the form of like like. What do you mean by that? Monkey to man, fish to mammal no little brains forming in the ocean, little brains turning into little brains getting fins no, I believe in creation little brains getting, but not in creation in the religious sense. No, okay, so, okay. So you believe in creation. I believe in a grand design.

Speaker 1 51:41

Ooh, damn. Okay, there's blends, it's a spectrum. I'm more of an evolution guy. I think We'll see you know what though. There can be both. What there can be both Evolution yeah, there can be both.

Speaker 3 51:54

There really can be both. There can be both. Um, not neil degrasse tyson, but the uh, the british guy with the, the long hair kind of thing. He was talking about that and said that there. Even though he firmly believes in evolution and science and everything he said, that doesn't mean he's not that there's not creation as well, and vice versa.

Speaker 2 52:10

Just because creation does not mean there's not.

Speaker 1 52:13

We're evolving right now, yeah yes like we are so I believe this podcast of all tonight it sure it sure did.

Speaker 3 52:21

It went from ape to human pretty quick.

Speaker 1 52:25

All right, okay, where are we at here? Scariest place you've ever been. I always feel like that was the cult place. Well, it's probably the worst place you've ever been.

Speaker 3 52:35

Stop answering questions for her, sorry, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 52:37

I'll try.

Speaker 3 52:38

Like scariest place I've ever been. Yeah sorry.

Speaker 2 52:44

Yeah, I'll try like scariest place I've ever been.

Speaker 1 52:45

Yeah uh, ghost hunted.

Speaker 2 52:46

Yeah, that's a. That's super. Yeah, that's scary. Yeah, I'd probably say free town, state forest in the, in the states there's. That was like really terrifying. But we were paranormal investigating so we kind of went there on purpose okay, that's legit.

Speaker 1 53:00

This one one required a little psychic power onto you, matt.

Speaker 3 53:02

Yes, that's right, because this is coming out within the time frame of it. I figured I'd throw this out there. Who will win the Stanley Cup? Florida or Edmonton?

Speaker 2 53:12

You're asking an Alberta girl. So what do you think? Oh God, I don't even follow sports.

Speaker 3 53:19

Just so you know, as we sit here on. Friday the 13th it is tied 2-2.

Speaker 2 53:24

2-2. Yeah, with three games left, so it's the best of the three series. Right now I say Edmondson All right, there you go. I like it. That could just be my Albert blood coming out. There you go, last question.

Speaker 1 53:36

Yeah, last, yeah, last question. We ask every guest, this one what's one piece of advice you were given that you would like to share with us or to others listening today? Piece of advice you got it through your life, at any point.

Speaker 2 53:48

Honestly, just authenticity. Don't be scared to be weird, I like that I like that. Just be authentically yourself, even if it because the right people will find you. You don't want people in your life that aren't going to accept you for all your weirdness.

Speaker 3 54:02

I love that. You should actually like make t-shirts that says don't be scared to be weird. Yeah, I think that could catch on.

Speaker 1 54:08

There you go. Yeah, scared to be weird, cheers everyone. This is a lovely thing we're going to cheers on high fives.

Speaker 3 54:19

Thank you very much. Thank you very much, thank you.