In The Passenger Seat with Alethea Crimmins
From the front seat of her car, Alethea has motivated millions—reaching hearts around the world and even catching the attention of icons like Rihanna, Kesha, Madonna, and Viola Davis. Now, she’s bringing that same energy, wisdom, and unshakable confidence to the podcast realm—inviting special guests to ride along and share their own journeys of resilience, purpose, and self-discovery.
No scripts, no filters—just raw, powerful conversations filled with gems, laughter, and the kind of motivation that makes you sit up a little straighter. You never know who will be in the passenger seat next, but one thing’s for sure: every ride is a step toward something greater.
So buckle up, tune in, and let’s take this journey together. 🎙️🚗✨
In The Passenger Seat with Alethea Crimmins
Narcissists, Boundaries, and Peace, Oh My!!!
Welcome back everybody. You are officially in the passenger seat with your girl, alethea Crimmins. Look, the weather was kind of iffy outside, so that's why I'm not in my car. But guess what? The show must go on, so we have to just move locations. But here I am, baby. We are not just talking about surviving, we are talking about thriving honey. Okay.
Speaker 1:So listen, today we are diving into something juicy but very necessary, and y'all ask me about this all the time how to deal with narcissistic personalities. Yep, we going there. We going there Because some of y'all out here thinking that you the problem, y'all really out here thinking that you are the problem, when really you are just surrounded by a grown-up toddler with a God complex. That is all that this is. I mean sips tea and we going to spill it Because I mean, why do you always think that you are the problem? You are not the problem. So stop making yourself the villain in your own story. That is not your ministry boo. That is not who you are. We have to understand that. It's not you, it's them.
Speaker 1:So let's just dive into exactly what a narcissist is, baby. Let's get this straight A narcissist isn't just someone who takes a lot of selfies and always in the mirror. No, ma'am, pam, a narcissist is someone who thinks the world is their runway and everybody else is just background noise. How many people do we know like that? I'm sure y'all just sitting there just thinking, yeah, I know somebody like that right now. But here is what makes them stand out. Here is what actually makes them a narcissist. They have a grandiose sense of self. Like baby. They think that they are Beyonce, baby. Like they think they are Beyonce, oprah and Jesus all rolled up in to one. They don't have empathy for anything or anybody. Like they can watch you cry and still be more upset about their coffee order that was wrong than worried about you and why you are so upset.
Speaker 1:And let's not get started on the manipulation. They will twist your words like a pretzel at the mall, baby. Yes, they will, because that is what they do. They need constant admiration, and I mean constant. If you don't clap every time they breathe, then suddenly you are the villain and don't you dare criticize them, because then they'll act like you stabbed them in the ego, which you probably did, and you did it by accident, like you wouldn't even know. But this is what they do. But don't get it twisted, because I know that some of y'all were like well, no, that's not always the case, and you're right, not everyone who's selfish or self-centered is a narcissist.
Speaker 1:But when these traits are chronic and they become harmful to others, especially in relationships, baby, it is time to open your eyes and pay attention. It is time to see what is staring you in the face, because sometimes we don't see them waving the red flags that are right in front of us, like they're in our face, and sometimes we just do not see it or we don't want to see it because we have these rose colored glasses on. So let me show you how to spot a narcissist without pulling out your magnifying glass and take these rose colored glasses that we like to wear off. So there's a cheat sheet to this that I've learned. Number one is everything is about them. You tell them that your Mimi passed away and somehow it turns into their story about how they once had a dog named Mimi Bitch. I wasn't talking about your dog, I was talking about me. So how did this turn into you and your dog? Like the fuck, love bombing is their superpower. They come in hot with the gifts, the flattery, the baby, you're my everything Like ooh, maybe this is love. I ain't never felt like this in my life. Then, boom, baby. Next week you are crying in your car Talking about I'm not going to cry, I'm not wondering what the hell you did wrong.
Speaker 1:Number three they never apologize. They do not hold themselves accountable. Number three they never apologize. They do not hold themselves accountable, and if they do, it's one of them. Fake ass apologies like I'm sorry, you feel like that and oh no, baby, I mean, that's not an apology, that's a trap. They are trying to. Number four gaslight you, because that is what they do. They are pros at gaslighting. They will straight up do something shady in your face and tell you it never happened. Oh no, I didn't say that, that's, that's, that's not what I said.
Speaker 1:And then you sit here questioning yourself the whole time, Like you have amnesia, like you wondering, wondering, like wait, did I just fuck up? Like is my? Did I see it wrong? No, they feed off of control. Whether it's emotional manipulation or just jabs, they need to feel superior. Does that sound familiar? If you're nodding your head right now, you know this. It's not your fault. You are not crazy. You're just dealing with someone who doesn't operate from a place of empathy or mutual respect. I'm sorry, but you're dealing with a narcissistic personality. I know because I've done it for most of my life. I've done it with my mom, I've done it in relationships. So how do you deal with these type of people without losing your fucking mind Because it happens Now? Here is the real. You may not be able to change them because you can't, because they have to want to be able to change themselves, but you can change you, you can change how you react. So let me give you some tools on how to protect your peace and just keep yourself good. Okay, so let's get into the reason that you are really here, because I know y'all really want to know how to deal.
Speaker 1:Number one the word y'all hate. The people. Pleasers hate this word. Boundaries, baby. And I don't mean being nice. Well, if you don't mind, no bitch, no. What I mean is that does not work for me. Period, full stop. No return policy. No is a complete sentence that does not need an explanation.
Speaker 1:Do not take the bait. They will poke, prod and provoke you like it's their full-time job, baby. Let them talk to themselves If they want drama. Guess what? You're busy, you're booked, you don't have time. That's not your ministry. Listen, give them nothing, don't say anything, be silent, keep it boring as hell. Dry Dryer than a Popeye's biscuit oh, I guess I ain't going to be getting a sponsorship from them but drier than a biscuit with no drink and you'll see how fast they move on.
Speaker 1:When they cannot get a reaction from you, they like to get a reaction. Do not give them one. It's all about your peace. Protect your peace like it's your last piece of cheesecake. Piece of cheesecake. Block them, mute them, distance yourself.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is that you need to do to sleep at night without grinding your teeth, do it, do it for you. Go to therapy, look in the mirror and tell yourself affirmations, give yourself pep talks, baby, do it all. Rebuild that self-worth, that self-esteem that they tried to tear down. Because, guess what? You were never broken. You never were. You were just standing in front of someone who could not see your worth. If it smacked them in the damn face, that is not your fault. It's not your fault. They are not healed, they are not fixed, and you need to remember that you are not their fixer.
Speaker 1:You can't love someone into empathy. You can't sacrifice your peace hoping that they'll change. That's not love. That's emotional survival. That's emotional survival. And you deserve so much more than just living to survive. You deserve so much more than just living to survive you need to thrive.
Speaker 1:So how do you take that power back from somebody like that? Let's be real. You're not going to fix them. You cannot fix a narcissist. This is not HGTV. You cannot renovate a toxic personality.
Speaker 1:But let me tell you what you can do. What you can do is choose you. You can choose you. You can say no, I'm not shrinking myself to keep someone else feeling tall. You can say I deserve my peace. I deserve people who pour into me, not drain me, deplete me. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be happy and say that shit with your whole chest. Mean it.
Speaker 1:Because when you realize that you don't have to participate in someone else's emotional circus, baby, you become free. You should not be held in bondage. You should not be allowing other people to hold you hostage. Let me tell you something from my heart from my heart because I've been there. You are not here to be anybody's emotional punching bag. You are not responsible for their healing. You're not responsible for healing somebody who doesn't even see that they have wounds. That's not your job, this is your life. You get to choose peace, you get to choose joy. You get to say enough is enough. And when you do, you're not just surviving, baby, you driving. You are now in the driver's seat, it is your call. You should be in the driver's seat. Okay, all right, now listen, I hope that this has helped somebody today because, baby, it has blessed me and that is our ride on the passenger seat today.
Speaker 1:Baby, if you felt seen, convicted or maybe you just laughed share this with somebody, somebody who really needs to see it. Listen, let's stop letting toxic folks live rent-free in our heads, because we deserve so much more. Do me a favor, subscribe to the channel, leave me a little five star love and remember the best glow up is healing, setting boundaries and walking away with your peace and your edges intact. With your peace and your edges intact. Okay, until next time. Keep shining, keep slaying. Listen, be great in your own face and then you can turn around and be great in theirs.
Speaker 1:Baby, you stay in the driver's seat of your own life. Stay in the driver's seat of your own life. Stay in the driver's seat of your own life and know that you deserve peace. You deserve happiness, and do not let anybody take that from you. Hear Now, as you continue to be fabulous, like I know, you can be baby, you go out there and be the boundary building bitch. I know you can be baby. You go out there and be the boundary building bitch. I know you can be. And, as always, you have a good day on purpose. Yeah, you're welcome.