In The Passenger Seat with Alethea Crimmins
From the front seat of her car, Alethea has motivated millions—reaching hearts around the world and even catching the attention of icons like Rihanna, Kesha, Madonna, and Viola Davis. Now, she’s bringing that same energy, wisdom, and unshakable confidence to the podcast realm—inviting special guests to ride along and share their own journeys of resilience, purpose, and self-discovery.
No scripts, no filters—just raw, powerful conversations filled with gems, laughter, and the kind of motivation that makes you sit up a little straighter. You never know who will be in the passenger seat next, but one thing’s for sure: every ride is a step toward something greater.
So buckle up, tune in, and let’s take this journey together. 🎙️🚗✨
In The Passenger Seat with Alethea Crimmins
Steering Your Life: From Self-Doubt to Unshakable Confidence
Ever feel like an imposter in your own life? In this soul-stirring conversation, acclaimed actress Michelle Gomez (Sabrina, The Flight Attendant) slides into the passenger seat to share her thirty-year journey of perseverance against constant rejection and self-doubt.
Michelle reveals how career counselors told her to become a secretary instead of an actress, how drama schools rejected her multiple times before reluctantly accepting her (only to suggest she become a teacher instead), and how a doctor once declared she was "barren" and should "go buy a cat." Yet at each roadblock, she found the courage to say, "I don't think so," and chart her own path.
The breakthrough moment comes when Michelle shares her secret weapon against negative self-talk: she named her inner critic "Barbara." With disarming humor, she explains how this simple act transformed her relationship with self-doubt: "I used to try to shut it up. Now I have compassion for my negative voice." This revelation offers an entirely fresh approach to the inner critic we all battle—not fighting it, but acknowledging it with a bemused smile before gently setting it aside.
Host Alethea Crimmons and Michelle explore what they call "relief from the bondage of self"—how helping others gives us a break from our own relentless self-criticism. They share practical strategies for building confidence through action, celebrating small victories (like Michelle's blood pressure cuff win), and avoiding the comparison trap. "To compare is to despair," Michelle reminds us with characteristic wisdom.
Ready to take control of your life and believe in yourself, even when it feels impossible? This episode offers not just inspiration but actionable steps toward unshakable confidence. Subscribe now and discover why your struggles might be the very stepping stones you need to reach your dreams.
Have a Good Day On Purpose...
YA' Welcome
Hello and welcome back to In the Passenger Seat with your positivity queen, alethea crimmons. Okay, what we are going to talk about today is what a lot of us have issues with, including myself. I struggle with this. We're going to talk about taking control of your own life, believing in yourself and steering your own life toward success. Ah, steering in the passenger seat, okay.
Speaker 1:So listen, this is a journey of self-belief. What does it take to get there? How do you believe in yourself when self-doubt creeps in? How do you get that unshakable confidence that pushes you forward, that makes you say, okay, I am everything and everything is me. It does not matter what anybody says about me. I have a goal and I'm going to do it. Baby, you got to stick with me because I will get you right by the end of this episode. You'll have real steps. You'll know exactly what to do so you can know that you are the shit, the whole shit, and nothing but the what. Starting today? Okay, starting today.
Speaker 1:Listen, first, we have to understand what self-belief is. What is that? What does that look like? Does that mean that I'm being arrogant? No, it's not. It's about trusting who you are, despite what challenges come your way. Trusting who you are, despite who says this about you, despite what people think about you, despite if people say that it's too late for you to achieve your goal. It's never too late. It's never too late.
Speaker 1:Success has no timeline. But what we also have to understand is success is not an elevator. We got to take the staircase and sometimes that staircase is windy, Sometimes it's narrow, sometimes those stairs are rickety. It takes some time and it takes a lot of work, but are we willing to do the work? Are we willing to trust this process and know that we are going to do it? We're going to do it and listen. Everything is a step. Everything in this process of believing in yourself is a step, and we have to celebrate every single win that we have.
Speaker 1:This is something that I had to do Recognize your wins and celebrate your wins, even if it's small. Right now I'm on my weight loss journey and I went to the doctor today and usually they have to use the big cuff to check my blood pressure because the regular cuff would not fit. But today, baby, who used a regular blood pressure cuff is me. Is me, because I've lost enough weight to do so. So who used a regular cuff is me, baby. It may not be a lot to other people, but it was a lot to me.
Speaker 1:So I had to celebrate that small victory that I had and write it down. Write it down so at the end of the day, you can see all of the small victories that you had. At the end of the week, you can see all the victories that you had and you can clap. Listen, yes, honey, you can be so proud of yourself, of what you have accomplished. Success is success. It does not matter how small it is. You can accomplish it. You can do hard things. You can do hard things.
Speaker 1:There are negative voices in our heads all the time that tell us what we can and cannot do. You have to challenge those negative voices. Challenge them. Listen, you don't know how many times I had to sit myself down and be like uh-uh, girl, what are you talking about? Yes, we can, I am not. You know how those little kids do La, la, la, la, la, la, la la.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you have to sit yourself down and talk to yourself, because when your negative voice tells you what you cannot do, uh-uh, baby, I'm not listening to you. Today, I am looking at myself and I am telling myself. Yes, I am good enough. Yes, I am worthy enough. Yes, I am valuable enough. We have goals in our life that we want to achieve. How dare us tell ourselves that we can't do it? How dare you tell yourself that you are not good enough? How dare you tell yourself that you are not valuable enough? Because here is the truth, that negative voice in your head that is telling you all this nonsense. They a liar. They are a big fat, bald-headed, bold-faced liar, and I'm going to tell them that voice is a liar. You need to tell yourself who you are. The world puts us down enough. The world tells us what we cannot do enough. We do not need to add to that. Do not continue to tell yourself lies, because that's what that negative voice is it is a liar.
Speaker 1:So we have to reframe our thoughts. We have to change our mindset. We have to change the narrative about who we are and what we are. We have to change the way that we speak about ourselves and to ourselves, because we are the first people to hear the things that come out of our mouths. Right, right, you hear it first. You hear it first because sometimes we are our worst critic. We get in our way more than anybody else.
Speaker 1:So, instead of saying I can't do this, you will tell yourself I'm going to do this, I am going to, and then you go out there and do it. It's one step above saying I can, because when you say I'm going to, that means that you will take action. It's a step above saying I can do it. Now you're telling yourself not only can I do it, but I'm going to and I'm going to take the action, the steps to do it. Listen, I am a person that believes that, no matter how far you've come, no matter what you've been through, no matter what people have said about you, no matter how old you are, you can achieve what you set out to achieve. If you have a goal, you can do it.
Speaker 1:And the guest that I'm going to bring on, listen, I tried so hard not to fangirl when she first got into the look. Listen, when she hopped into the passenger seat, y'all. I tried so hard not to fangirl. I tried to be cool Like mm-hmm, because she is one of my favorite actresses and I know that y'all know who she is. The list of movies and series Look, when they sent me her bio, I was like ain't, no way I can list all this, ain't no way. She has been acting for over three decades Three but she set out to do exactly what she is doing now. Her latest is she played Lilith, which all I love in Netflix series Sabrina, and she also played Miranda Croft in the HBO Max series, the Flight Attendant. Y'all if y'all do not know who she is, by the end of this episode you will know exactly who she is. Can you please welcome to the passenger seat. I'm so excited, michelle Gomez, oh my God, hello.
Speaker 2:Hi, very lovely introduction. Oh, my God, it's so lovely to meet you, gosh.
Speaker 1:Jeez, it's so great to meet you as well. For anybody who does not know who you are which I cannot imagine that that is the case, like I really cannot imagine that that is the case Can you please introduce yourself and tell everybody what you do?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm an actor and I've been doing it for forever. I call myself an actor. I guess, like in Britain, we call ourselves actors. But yes, I'm an actress and I've had the great luck and pleasure of being able to do that for the last I don't know, like 30 years. So yeah, I'm still learning.
Speaker 1:How did you get started? Because I remember you said that as a little girl. Like you said is what I want to do.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I can't remember wanting to be anything else really, and I was in Glasgow in Scotland, and it just seemed like a really out there dream. I went to the school counsellor for the careers officer and told them I wanted to be an actress and they were like, well, you know, it's all about um staying in your box right and um not dreaming too big, you know, because um, um, that's that doesn't really lead to anything but um disappointment and heartache. And so, you know, maybe I should think about being a secretary. And uh, I was like, oh, I don't think I want to do that. And um, so then I applied for drama school and they wouldn't let me in.
Speaker 2:And then I applied again, and I think the second, maybe the third time they let me in and um that they said, uh, this back then was called the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama and today it's called the? Um, the Conservatoire. And um, they said, well, we don't really think that you're acting material, but we think you make a great teacher. So we have a new course. If you'd like to do a Bachelor of Arts honours degree in teaching, and uh, maybe you should try that. And I was like, okay, so I did that and I was a teacher for like five minutes, literally. I mean, I qualified, I taught for at a school for literally five minutes and I was like no, I can't do this. And, um, I did like a play for Edinburgh in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and we won the Fringe first, which in Scotland that's like a big deal, and that was it. I never looked back.
Speaker 1:So what I'm hearing you say is first of all, they tried to put you in a box and you said no, look, look, forget your box because you're not about to have me in no damn box, because I know what I want to do. Then, when you tried to do that, they told you no and told you that you were not acting material, then again tried to make you do something that they thought that you should do y'all. How many times have you wanted to pursue something but they were like we don't think that you good enough, like we don't think that this is right for you, so why don't you do this?
Speaker 2:That's still putting you in a box. Well, yeah, I mean it was like coming from Scotland and, like you know, my name is Gomez and I have crazy hair. I have five heads of hair on my head. I have no ass, no lips, just God just kept giving me Away, away, away. I'm going to take some of it out. I'm going gonna take some of it out. I'm gonna take some of this shit out. It's like stuffing out of a couch.
Speaker 2:And my dad was from antigua, in the caribbean and, um, I don't know, like something, I got something. I got something going on here anyway, um, so my hair was always just like a thing right, and they didn't know what to do with it. My grandmother came over from antigua and she taught me how to braid it and then I started relaxing it when I was like 14. And I was just like this skinny little white girl, you know, with like this huge, like kind of fro on my head, and I've spent my whole life trying to have like European hair, like normal hair. My hair moves in one piece, like one piece right, and it does.
Speaker 2:I always wanted to like flick it, you know, and anyway, so, um, so that, and, being Scottish and you know, coming down to London and not being like a kind of ingenue, not like having like a little button nose and being like pale and you know I just I couldn't get any work, like they didn't know what to do with me, because I was kind of like Sarah Bernhardt meets Angelica Houston on speed and nobody knew what to do with that so how many times has this been a thing with us where we want to be normal, we want to be like everybody else, because we look around and we don't see anybody that looks like us.
Speaker 1:We don't see like, we just see a certain type of people, type of people and society tells us, yeah, that this is what you should look like. If you want to do what you set out to do, then maybe you need to be more like this, because you being like that and then we try to conform ourselves into what other people's expectations are Like, we try to do our hair a certain way, fix ourselves a certain way. Child, like listen, I now you say it, now I got it all. I got the big lips, the big nose, the hips, the thighs, the ass. That is how Listen, listen, god Listen. I was last in line Whenever God was giving everybody body parts, I was last. And God said here, take well, we got all this left over, here you go. And I was like the fuck, like what? Well, thank God, because I guess he thought that I could handle it. But I was like well, damn Right, you're right Girl.
Speaker 2:Wait, I'm going to show you something Because, like I'm going to put this down, I might just do this. So I'm going to put this down, I might just do this, so I never, ever do this. But this, if I'm not working, I don't have it blown out or have it keratined or whatever it, just this is relaxed.
Speaker 1:Girl, this is relaxed Girl. This is like tamed Tamed but do you realize how many people wish that they had thick hair like that, like, do you know?
Speaker 2:I, I I mean I've had, I've had people trying, I've had like hairdressers like getting like a comb stuck in and then just had somebody like trimming it and then they ended up like shaving the whole fucking head.
Speaker 1:This hair is like like you know, like it's a thing, like it's not normal trust you are preaching to the choir, because at one point, before I cut my hair, it was like and especially for me, like they would tell me that, oh well, you, in order to do what you want to do in life, you have to look a certain type of way. Like you can't have your hair like, like this, because everybody else around you doesn't. You might want to lose some weight Because everybody else around you is a certain size and you're not that. So it's like what do you do with that? How do you overcome that? Because now, because so many people are telling you this is what you should be, this is how you should act, this is how you should look, it starts to get in your head and it fucks with you mentally. So now you start telling yourself I'm not good enough, I need to change who I am, I don't have value because I don't look like this. Right? So, michelle, like, how did you overcome, oh, all of this?
Speaker 2:you are now. I like lean into it, like if you, if, and embrace it, like, okay, can't. If. You can't like, if you can't like we're given what we're given, right, yes, can't like change it, then accept it. Yes, if you can't accept it, then do something towards um, you know, um, just a softer, gentler self, and I was listening to your intro about the negative voice in your head.
Speaker 2:Yes and um, and I, and everybody has one right, and and I have this thing where I wake up in the morning at the crack of doom and I'm like, oh, and it's just like it's already started. I haven't even opened my eyes and she started right. So years ago I gave her a name. Yes, give her a name because it makes me laugh. This name makes me laugh and I've come to love my negative voice now and I have compassion for my negative voice, because I used to try and like shut it up or, you know, or be quiet or whatever. And now, yeah, same, now it's anyway. So I called her Barbara, right, and I'm like Babs, I haven't even opened my eyes. Just a minute, I'll be with you in a minute. I'm just going to brush my teeth and I just like to get up and then I just like, just the name just makes me smile. It's like control of it, it takes I have power over it, and it means like I'm not like more.
Speaker 2:I mean mourning the crack of doom sounds really funny, but I think a lot of people wake up anxious and wake up like you know, what am I going to do with my day? Or what am I? Or I've not done enough, or whatever it is. There there's so much judgment and so if you can have a way to, when I say, change it or accept it, my changing is to just have a gentler relationship with that voice, because that voice is me, it's part of me, it is, and so to find compassion, just like I'm pouring compassion all over it.
Speaker 2:It takes the power out of it and it means that you are learning to love a part of yourself that is telling you that you're not all that, and that part of yourself is the part of yourself that needs so much love and compassion, that little, tiny voice that's really like the bully in school that doesn't get enough. Yes, yes, you know, just pour love all over it, you know? And and give it a name. So babs I, I'm, babs I, I. Sometimes I'm like to pull over Bob's if you don't shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:Like, listen, you have like this. This is exactly how I started doing what, what, what I do? Because I have conversations with myself all the time, like I talk to myself and I answer myself we listen and we don't judge. So shut up, because this, this, this is my show, okay, so, yeah, so we, we listen and we don't judge. But I will have a conversation with myself.
Speaker 1:And that's how I started doing this, because when I look at the camera, I'm looking at myself and it's me telling myself that I'm not good enough. It's me telling myself that I'm too this, I'm too that, and so I had to look at myself, because it wasn't enough for me to just say it. I had to look at myself and be like, okay, bitch, yeah, listen, not to fucking date. Like we are not doing that because you know who you are. Stop letting these people, stop telling yourself what you can't do, bitch, you can do it. Now say it, say I can do it, so I'm. So I'm talking to y'all, but I'm also talking to my negative voice that creeps in and tells me what I cannot do. So I'm I'm talking to y'all, but I'm actually having a conversation with myself, live in real time, because so y'all basically see, see me like, have a like mental breakdown daily, and but what y'all do not see is sometimes, as soon as I press stop, I'm like, yeah, because, I needed to hear that too.
Speaker 2:This is a real version of therapy that started for you, right? Yes, and it's cathartic, and and you have found a way to talk to yourself and harness that power and now, like share it with everybody. I mean, when you popped up on my feed, I was like who the fuck is this? Come here. I was like, okay, right, I'm here, you know, and, and so you are one powerful bit, and you know that is the best compliment ever but you know, like if you're getting my attention, that means you're getting.
Speaker 2:You know, you're getting your own attention and you're and you're making it powerful and you're and you're actually, and then you're sharing it, you know, and it's infectious, it's really infectious, and that was the hardest thing is sharing it, because you don't know what type of feedback you're going to get.
Speaker 1:And I'm sure that you felt the same way when you were like, look, I am going to reclaim my power and I'm going to do exactly what I said. I'm going to do, I'm going to be an actress. And when you put yourself out there, I know you were like what the fuck am I doing? What are they going to say? Would they like me In all of my head?
Speaker 2:The other thing is we all have to learn how to fit into the picture Right. What is my part of the puzzle, like what do I bring to the party? You know, like that, like I've turned up, what can I get right? You know, I think that's what happens with a lot of actors, like you go for additions, like, well, I want the part. So you know, instead of you know what, what this might be a nice little acting exercise. It will feel fun just to be on tape for like 10 minutes or whatever. And you know, maybe I can help you, maybe I'm bringing you a gift, maybe I'm solving your casting and coming with that energy is a lot more attractive than gimme.
Speaker 2:You know, and I apply that to every situation, if I'm going to a party and I'm a little nervous, or I've got some professional event or whatever it is and I'm a bit like I don't want to go switch my it's an attitude adjustment or how can I be helpful? Like I'm going to go to a party and I'm going to find a sad sack in the corner who, like does not look like they're having a good time, I'm going to walk right up to them and go hi, because that sad sack in the corner is pretending me. I'm just like, quite good at pretending. So you know, finding ways of doing service and being helpful to others takes me out of my own head in this neighborhood between here and here, left on my own. It's not a great neighborhood to be on my own in this head. So you know, if I can get out of my head and into other people and what they might need, then I don't have to think of myself anymore because it's exhausting.
Speaker 1:I feel like you and I must be related in some type of way, be related in some type of way. You and I are related because I swear it's like I want. I wanted to be for other people what nobody was for me, like I. I wanted to go out there and find other people that were like me or that I saw myself in and be like okay, well, let me help you. Let me help you so that I don't have to focus on it. Let me help you because I see so much of myself in you. Let me help you so that you could be more like this and and it's, it's really like therapy helping me?
Speaker 2:helping you is giving me a break from me. Oh, helping you is like relieving me of the bondage of self of self.
Speaker 1:Oh, helping you is relieving me of the bondage of self.
Speaker 2:Can you go into that just a little bit more? The bondage of self is when you're just, you know you're so full of your own fears and self-loathing and self-dou and um, you know you start. Listen, we have a picker, we can choose which channel we tune into negative channels, really seductive and you're, before you know it, you're off down this fucking path and you're about to have a really shitty day. And so if I can relieve, have this relief of the bondage of self, it means I get a break from my inner negative cycle of thinking that doesn't really bring me anything but misery. Like misery is a choice, and as soon as I recognize that voice, barbara.
Speaker 1:Can we pause just a little bit? Iggy, I don't know if he's. You see how it like keeps cutting in and out yeah, go talk again, michelle yeah, like we can't.
Speaker 3:I think the sound kind of switched back. Is your car still off and it's still connected?
Speaker 1:car's still off, yeah okay.
Speaker 3:So this is, I think, what it is. If the sound is coming from your phone, maybe, maybe you're sitting uh, sitting on the speaker, so it's okay if you hold it. I want you to be comfortable too yes um, so whatever, whatever makes you more comfortable. Uh, with the phone is fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you, you can you can like whatever is is good for you, like if it's, if it's fine, yeah, like you, you can, you can like whatever is is good for, yeah, you like if it's, if it's better. If you hold it, then hold it, okay, yeah, because, because because now you, you, you're like coming in crystal, crystal clear, great, okay, yes, okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, because I, you are girl, you are I wish you were here like like okay, so this cannot be the like last time that we do this, okay, so let's jump back on the bondage of self right.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so when I say relieve me of the bondage of self, it's like we get ourselves literally like so tied up in knots right with our negative thinking and and it's all self, self, self, it's self-doubt, self-loathing, low self-esteem, just like all that all the s's right and and it's like it's like we're kind of we suffocate, like we. It was like we're being choked on weeds, right, and the way I can get out of that is to do something for someone else, is to literally pick up the phone and go hi, how are you? And if they ask me how I am, I'm like I'm great, but what are you up to? I want to hear where you're at. I'm great, but what are you up to? I want to hear where you're at, because that gives me relief from this head of bullshit. Or, or I'll do something for somebody, or I'll literally just like walk around the block, or I'll.
Speaker 2:So it's. I have lots of little tricks that I do to relieve me of the bondage of self, because I'm at the grand old age of whatever I am now and uh, and I won't tolerate it anymore. Like I'm, I'm. I'm like I did not. I was not brought into this world to be miserable right, did you?
Speaker 1:that is for somebody who is listening right now. You were not brought into this world to be miserable. So what tunnel are you going to go down? You have a choice and, just like Michelle said, that negative thought tunnel is very seductive because it looks easy. It's so easy to go down that road and the other road of self-confidence, self-loving yourself, self-healing it looks hard, like it is a lot of hurdles. It's a lot of things that you got to do, because it takes work. It takes action because confidence comes from doing. It takes action and sometimes we don't want to work that hard. Let's just be honest. We don't want to work that hard. But a lot of people always ask me how did I get so confident in myself? I had to take action, because confidence comes from doing.
Speaker 2:Self-belief grows when you take action, even when it's hard, even when it's scary, because I know that it was scary for you, michelle Alicia like you use the word confidence, right, and I feel like these days the word confidence is kind of given a bad rap, like it has a sort of I don't know, like it's.
Speaker 2:There's a way of, there's a way of existing that maybe it's my industry, but anyway you were talking about. You know we do things for others and it raises your confidence, right. Also, I like to think of them as this sounds really pretentious. But anyway, um, if you, if you suffer from low self-esteem, right, lack of confidence, the relieving of the bondage of self thing, right, um, is getting into action, like like you mentioned, and doing something for somebody else and not looking for any thanks. I mean, this isn't like look at me, look how biased and great I am. No, it's not about that. It's about esteemable acts, acts that actually boost your esteem so that you know you, you do start to walk with more confidence. It takes time, but it's like a muscle, like any other muscle needs a little exercise.
Speaker 2:Yes, you might not think it's there or it might have atrophied, but it's there. It just needs some exercise, literally, if, if all you smiling at somebody in the street or my new trick is, I love it. I live in New York City and this you know, the clothes and the people and the blah and I'll be like, killed it. You look amazing or gorgeous and I can't help myself and they just you just see somebody taking themselves all seriously because they're giving it all that you know, and you just go gorgeous, you know, and they just first start laughing and they love it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, like you easy and and it it will literally change some somebody's day. Because, yes, because you never know what somebody is going through like they they might have got. Because several times I've put on clothes and, yeah, I liked it, but I was kind of like, do I look okay today? And then I'll go to the store and somebody's like, oh girl, you look good. I'm just like, thank you, man. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I know it's nothing, it's so, it's really. It's the effort of it's nothing. It's so it's really it's the effort of it's nothing. It's the bare minimum, but but it makes everybody smile. It just makes somebody's day and that has an effect on you. You know. That makes you feel good, you know, so you start behaving differently. It's all negative and positive effect, so you start behaving differently.
Speaker 1:It's all negative and positive effect. It really does. And we have to do this. We have to take action and do this and believe in ourselves, even when we're scared, even when, when it's hard, even when it's hard Right. And you, being an actress, I'm almost positive that you had to, like, you had to endure things and you it wasn't like, oh, I'm going to do this first big role. I'm sure that you were scared as shit, oh yeah. And that you were scared as shit, oh yeah. And that you were nervous and you still had the barber telling you, girl, you might not be good enough for this, but no, there's a thing.
Speaker 2:So I have a 15-year-old son and there's nothing like having a kid to you know, make you sort of grow up right yourself.
Speaker 1:What facts.
Speaker 2:And, um, you know, I have often said to to him throughout his life, like whenever he's scared or anxious or nervous or anything, I'm like in a very consistent way, I've always said to him you're okay, you're okay, Like, no matter what happens today, like, no matter what the outcome is, whether, you know, it's an exam or a game or whatever it is right, whatever it is, you're okay, you're going to be able to deal with whatever the outcome is, you're okay.
Speaker 2:And I said that to him for 15 years and about a year ago something happened and you know I'm, you know I've tried to like be a real parent to him, like I've tried to. I keep my emotions in check, I'm the adult, you know. But at times you know, you, you, that you can betray yourself, right, and of course, he's my kid and he knows me well, and I was dropping him off at this trip and I was like I knew I wasn't going to see him for a long time and I was being all sort of brave on his behalf, right, and he put his hands on my shoulders and he said, mum, you're OK, oh, and then, and then he ran off and he didn't look back and I just went because, like, sometimes, we are the ones that give and give and give and pour and pour and poor, and when somebody gives you that same thing back to you, it's just like yes, I was like yes, it was like yes, I am a good mama, yes, yes, yes, I am.
Speaker 1:Whatever doubt I had, he just proved me wrong. Like I, I am the best mom in the fucking world.
Speaker 2:Thank you, you're welcome okay, yeah, yeah, that felt it felt good, right, I mean, it was just so again, it's you know, being able to like. You know, there's this thing I was taught like when I had him. I was in LA so it was all great sort of um, chingity, bong, bong, and I'm not, but um, there was this thing you know about, like trying to get him sleep, trained, right, and there was a big chapter about self-soothing and I've never, never heard of such a thing before. I'm like I've never self-soothed in my life. Like what, what does that mean? And now I'm like I kind of know what it is now, like I know I can be like whatever this thing is that actually?
Speaker 2:Because work still terrifies me, like I still get nervous and scared, but I'm able to, like walk through the fear. I'm not going to let the fear stop me from doing it. No, I mean, I will be absolutely shitting myself and I want to just go home and get in the bed and just watch Seinfeld, like that's really what I want to do, right, but um, but I don't, because I know what's on the other side is like mind-blowingly affirming because I'm like, fuck, I did that. Like whatever it is, yes, wow, and that's what life is. For life is a series of okay, can you do this like? Try, try this hurdle. It's kind of high, it's kind of scary. You've never ridden before, but once you get to the other side.
Speaker 2:Get to the other side because it's like okay, I really did not, we do not know how brave we are or how strong we are. Like we don't give ourselves that credit. We really don't.
Speaker 1:And we really don't. And this brings us to. So I ask my followers and my listeners this is the Ask Alethea segment, where they send me questions or situations and we answer them. So this is from Camalada896 and they said I underestimate myself a lot. This shit is stuck in my head that others are way better than me.
Speaker 2:That sounds like she's got a bad piece of the Barbaras. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know she's got a bad piece of the barbara's. Yeah, you know that is negative self-talk, if I've ever heard it like that. You think who told you that other people are better than you? You did, that's right. Nobody else is telling you that. Everybody else's journey is not yours. Everybody else's walk is not yours. Everybody is going to look different. So what if they finish that race before you? Did you finish? Yeah, did you finish? Yeah, did you finish. It doesn't matter who finishes first. It's the fact that you still achieved what you set out to achieve. You do not have to compare yourself to anybody else, because everybody's walk is different. Some people walk in heels. Bitch, bitch, I will fall on my face. I can't walk in in heels. Give me some tennis shoes or some sandals, but that does not make them better than me, because they're in heels and I'm not the comparing thing is like this this is for your listener.
Speaker 2:This is a really good one. Um, to compare is to despair oh, elaborate you compare yourself to someone else, you're just going to be despairing. You could you know there's always going to be somebody better than you. So you know, and and and. The other thing is, is that actually this is really brutal and it might sting, but at the end of the day, nobody's thinking about you, do you know why?
Speaker 1:because we're all thinking about ourselves thanks, like because, yeah, I I realized that when I put on my first bathing suit I was scared. I was like I'm not even, I'm not going on the beach, I'm going to wear some jogging pants. And my wife was like you look dumb as hell. She was like listen, I'm telling you don't nobody give a damn about you. Everybody is on the beach to have a good time. And so what if they're looking at you? So what, fuck them people and go have a good time. And when I walked, like I was so nervous. But when I walked out to the beach beach, she was absolutely right, ain't nobody care about me? Like they was too busy enjoying themselves to worry about what I had going on and the very few people that were, it was like whatever, I was more worried about me than other people. You are more worried about you than other people are worried about you. Get out of your head. Tell, tell barbara, go sit down. Yeah, go find a friend go sit down, barbara.
Speaker 2:Go on, barbara. Ice cream, ice cream carts over there, go on, fill your boots Away. You go, bye-bye. I love you, but bye, I love you.
Speaker 1:Now see, I like that shit. Barbara said stop talking to me like that shit. Barbara said stop talking to me like that. You can't fix your hair. All these people Stop it. Barbara said stop it Shit. So what was your favorite role, your favorite role that you played? You probably like bitch. What?
Speaker 2:I mean they're, they're all so different. Uh, um, I honestly this sounds I never, ever, ever, ever. But I was kind of feral in my 20s and I, I just never believed I would ever be a mum. My favorite role is motherhood and I'm that sounds so cranky, but I can't choose like professionally, like the highs, the highlights for me, um, there's just, there's too many uh to choose from. Um, I've been super blessed, but, um, yeah, I just, I love, I love that I got to be a mum. I was a a late mum, I was an old mum, but I got one out and he's amazing, I love it. I love it Because I was told that Dr Dickinson Cowan, dr Dickinson Cowan, and he said, but you can call me Dick. And I went, I will, because he's like you are barren, there's nothing happening there, literally, literally, seriously. He said you're very lucky, you have the love of a good man. You should go and buy yourself a cat and have a lovely lunch. So I went not dick.
Speaker 2:I got not. Dick, not dick. Listen to me and, uh, you just tell me no and I'll be like I don't think. So I got one out. I wish I had 10.
Speaker 1:I got one gosh, if that is not the like universe saying you can do whatever the fuck you want to do, okay, he said there's just dust in there, like there might be one egg in there.
Speaker 2:There's nothing in there. Now dick, now dick.
Speaker 1:Now, dick, now you know better than to tell a bad bitch some shit like that, because if you tell a bad bitch what she can't do, she's going to find a way to do it. Oh, my name. Dick said no, she Dick said no. Dick said yay, michelle went and dusted those eggs off. There's nothing wrong with this one. We'll call it Harry. I got one. One's all you need Really. Oh my God, I love having you in the passenger seat with me. I simply adore it. If anybody knows, wants to know where to find you, where would they go? Give us all things, michelle Gomez.
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean, yeah, just look up Michelle Gomez and pick a show. I don't know, take your pick, it's all good, some of it's all good, but most of it's good.
Speaker 1:Do you have any future projects coming up soon?
Speaker 2:I do. There's one thing that I'm doing right now which apparently I can't talk about because there's the old NDA. But I'm having a blast and I'll tell you about it later. But I am doing. There's a thing called a show I did called Green Wing, a long time ago, and I'm actually going to London, to South Bank, to do a panel on that. So I'll be in London Anybody who wants to come and check in on that. That was actually one of my favorite roles, that was a great show, so I'm going to go and dive back into that. I think there's talk of a remake, a rehash.
Speaker 1:So this means that when you can't talk about your new project, that you got to come back and sit down with me again, right, yeah, right, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I would love to meet you in person next time I am in New York. Yes, I would. Oh my god, I would love that. Oh, so this is the segment of the show before I let you go, called pass it on, where I need you to pass on a positive message. Um, it can be a quote that you've heard, it can be something that just comes from you. It's just something that you want to pass on to the next person that is going to be sitting in my passenger seat next, or just anybody listening. What message would you like to pass on?
Speaker 2:Keep it simple. Stupid Pretty much.
Speaker 1:Because the struggle is only real if you make it real. So keep it simple. The shit ain't gotta be that hard. I love you, I fucking love you. You're so cool, you're so good, I really this has been wonderful. This is why we have to meet in person, like we have to, like exchange info and all kinds of stuff, because, oh my gosh, like I freaking love you Like we're good, we're good. Yes, guys, I hope that you have enjoyed this as much as I have, as much as we have. Look, I love having people in the passenger seat with positive messages, and baby Michelle did what she was supposed to do.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I think I'm gone and here we are, and and we're back.
Speaker 1:See, barbara needs to stop playing with us, babs, she's just a gremlin.
Speaker 2:Stop it, barbara, yeah yeah, she knocked that right out of my hand and then she put some sunglasses on.
Speaker 1:This is not your show, barbara. Babs, babs, babs, calm down, babs, get out out. Oh my God, thank you, thank you. Thank you for riding in the passenger seat with me today. Thank you, everybody for watching. If you like what you heard, pass it on, like, subscribe, comment, tell a friend to tell a friend that you have been in the passenger seat with Alethea Cremins. Listen, I would love to hear your story. I would love to hear from you. So do not hesitate. Email us on the show at pimpingpositivity at gmailcom. We would love to hear from you.
Speaker 1:Okay, now, as you go out there and be great in they face, know that we believe in you. So go out there and believe in yourself, because not only can you do it, you're going to do it. Get those negative voices out of your head. Tell them have a seat in the back, because they do not belong in the front with you. Keep being great in their face. Remember that you are everything and everything is you. You are the shit, the whole shit, and nothing but the what. Yeah, yeah, I did that shit. Now, as you go out there and be great in your own face, remember how fabulous you are and, as always, you have a good day on 5%. You're welcome, you're welcome.