lessons from my aunt Red T: community over clout

In this episode, I hold space to honor the incredible legacy of my aunt, Gethzayda Cruz —Titi Tundra, aka Red T. Her love, intention, and community-centered spirit shaped me and so many others, and I reflect on how her legacy continues to inspire my own.

We dive into the difference between building a brand—curated and immediate—and cultivating a legacy—the stories and impact that live on long after we’re gone. I share personal lessons from Red T’s selflessness, reflections on nurturing relationships in every area of life, and actionable ways to channel that energy into your own connections.

How are you nurturing your relationships? Who inspires your legacy? Let’s reflect, connect, and build something lasting—together.

Cheers to channeling your inner Red T. 🌟

🎙️ Share your thoughts: Comment on YouTube or leave us a review on Spotify or Apple with your reflections on the episode. Your voice matters, and I can’t wait to hear from you!

p.s. if you'd like to read the obituary I put together for her and learn more about the incredible woman she was, you can read that here. 

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Transcript

Mimi Gonzalez (00:03.106)
Hey everyone, welcome to the next episode of griefsense Today I want to hold space to honor my aunt, Gethzayda Cruz, also known as Titi Tundra, also known as Red T. Now,

I really want to honor her because she actually passed three months ago. And I'm sure if you've been following the griefsense podcast so far, you will notice that there was a pretty significant gap between posting now regularly and my last episode that was released in August. Now I've experienced a lot of loss last year, like really traumatic loss. I briefly touched upon it.

in a previous episode, but just a brief recap. I met my birth father's family for the first time last year. And shortly after meeting them, my grandfather unfortunately passed away from stage four esophagus cancer. So that was really traumatic and that's something I'm still working through. And from traveling back and forth from Connecticut to Minnesota to...

be with him in his final days and getting to help plan his funeral is an honor that I will always keep near and dear to my heart. And so after my grandfather's funeral, I came back home, really wanted to focus on my healing journey then, and then two months later, my aunt passes away. Now with my aunt, she is...

really my second mom. She's been a rock and an anchor in my life who has always grounded me. And I've been reflecting a lot lately on the word legacy and really the difference between what a brand is and what a legacy is. And honestly, she has a lot to do with that. And I really want to focus on how with her legacy, like I remember our last

Mimi Gonzalez (02:16.738)
like one of our last conversations before her tragic car accident, she was crying to me telling me how much she didn't feel loved, how much she didn't feel appreciated, how there was only like a handful of people that appreciated her. And that really hurt to hear that, you know, but sometimes you're not thinking that's gonna be the last conversation that you're having with your loved ones.

And you know, so she passes away. Again, I've had the honor of, know, I created the funeral booklet, I created bookmarks, I got to write her obituary, which I guess is becoming my brand in the family. I've helped plan a lot of funerals, but it was an honor to be able to do that and to honor her legacy. But with that, right, at the funeral, I mean, it was so

So many people just kept coming and coming and coming and we actually had to turn people away because so many people came to the funeral and I'm like damn if she can only see how loved and appreciated she was and how impactful her legacy is and was it just was really moving and honestly really emotional just to see

I would just love for her to see and be reminded by the impact that she's been able to have on people. So with that, right, I've been thinking a lot about her legacy and the impact that she's not only had on me, but our community, our family, freaking strangers. Like she would always find ways to find baby clothes to give to a new mom or a new family.

And she will literally go out of her way to do that. And she's just really taught me that you don't need to have a lot of money. You don't need to have a lot of resources or transportation. Y'all, she didn't have a car all the time. She would take the bus. She would walk. And even when she had a car, it just helped her even more. But she would just be that person to go the extra mile, to love on her people, to check on them.

Mimi Gonzalez (04:39.054)
them to see what they're up to, to see how she can support them, plan events, go all out for their birthdays, you know, and with everything going on right now around us, it just really serves as a powerful reminder to check on your people, to love on your people, and, you know, and honor that. You know, I think that's a beautiful legacy to uphold. And so with that, right?

legacy, this theme, this word of legacy. I've been thinking about the difference between what a brand is and what a legacy is. you know, and then I was just reflecting on this. So recently actually got notified that I've been selected for an award, a Generation Next Award by the Urban League Greater Hartford. And this honor is deeply personal to me because it honors my commitment to

democratizing access to career pathways and retention strategies in workplaces in my state of Connecticut for Black and Latina Gen Z or early career talent. And it just got me reflecting growing up in this city of Hartford, this city that has given me so much and this city that has impacted my legacy in so many ways.

It also just got me thinking about like, am I building a brand or am I building a legacy? And when I think of the word brand, think about, you know, brands are curated. Like I think about our IG profiles or LinkedIn profiles or media kits, the content we post, our resumes, you know, how we show up in interviews, how we show up at work and interactions and things like that, how we show up in our social media interactions, right? Those are curated in real time.

and then I, when I think of legacy, I think about these are the stories that I'll live us once we're gone, not necessarily only when we die, but even when we're not in a certain role anymore, right? Or a certain age anymore, like, you know, people hold you to a specific standard. And it also had me thinking about like, when we die, we can't take anything with us to the grave at all. The only thing we take with us are our stories.

Mimi Gonzalez (07:04.192)
and the impact that we've left on our people. And it's got me thinking about the brands, I mean, the legacies of people rallying around the wildfires in LA. It's got me thinking about the legacy of the resilience of the Palestinian people and enduring war for 15 months. I've been reflecting on the legacies of brands and platforms like Meta versus TikTok versus LinkedIn.

and how these different platforms help shape us and our brands and our legacies, right? So many of the things, not to mention the new Trump administration and what their legacy is versus like Obama's presidential legacy or previous presidents, right? So anyway, it's like, are we known for how we're able to bring people together or are we known for how divisive we are, right? Like what is the impact that we're leaving behind and how will

How will we be remembered? So really keeping all of that top of mind for me and where it makes sense for you and how it applies to you is really just thinking about the different roles that you are responsible for, the different hats that you wear, right? And just to give you like a life template or example. So how can I nurture my relationships with

the different hats that I wear. Well, I'm a director of career development part-time for an amazing organization called Hartford Promise I'm super proud to work for. I'm a director of career development for first gen early career professionals and students in college. And so I help them transition from college to their careers. And I find myself constantly advising them on how to build relationships.

with people they might have met at a career fair, people they've met on LinkedIn, even folks they've interviewed with for jobs and how they can intentionally build relationships with these people via LinkedIn, email or in real life, however it works, or meeting via Zoom. And I find myself advising them like, send regular updates on your life, maybe once a quarter on how the semester's going.

Mimi Gonzalez (09:27.54)
once a month or if that's too frequent, know, once a quarter, but just sharing updates like what's, how's the semester going? How are your grades going? What's advice that maybe they can advise you on? What's a new book that you read? What's a playlist that you've listened to? What's an article that made you think of this person, right? Just genuinely nurturing this, this relationship that you just never know where that can lead. But the point is not expecting

anything to come from it or just having this really transactional approach. Like if we're really going to channel our inner titi tundra or channel our Red T we really need to nurture our relationships without expecting anything in return. Genuinely just building this relationship to see each other win and yeah and continuing to do that. You know I'm also a content creator. I create a lot of content.

I'm very passionate about LinkedIn. So I've been really trying to make that my number one platform right now. And so one thing I'm about to start doing is hosting monthly virtual content huddles. Now I'm really excited about this y'all because this is something I already do in real life with my friends, my content creator and entrepreneur friends. And this really looks like meeting at a cafe.

weekly and just talking about the different content strategies, wins that we have, different things that we're trying, any tips or resources that we've seen recently to help us inform the content that we're sharing, which platforms we're sharing on, so on and so forth. And so that's been so impactful for me in person. And, you know, I have a growing LinkedIn following and I just really want to nurture my community.

So I'm actually about to start hosting these monthly virtual content huddles. And this is just another priority or a different way for me to nurture these relationships, right? See what other creators are doing on the platform, sharing what I know, learning from others, and really just keeping this thing going. Even if I think about my relationships in my family, right? Like my cousins just lost their mom.

Mimi Gonzalez (11:48.0)
So I've been thinking about, I don't have all the time or money or capacity in the world, but what small or meaningful ways can I show up for my cousins who have just lost their anchor and their backbone? So, you know, I've been trying to spend more time with my cousins, trying to give them advice, help them really navigate this new reality that they're facing. Another way I've been nurturing my family relationships, for example, my baby sister, well, she's one of, she's.

I consider her a baby, even though she's about to turn 18. But I've low key been her driving instructor for the past few months. And I'm proud to share that she has received her license. And it kind of just goes to show like their wins become your wins, you know, and it just makes the happiness and sitting in that progress and that achievement so much more powerful and so much more greater and meaningful.

And then when I think about my personal relationship, like my romantic and love relationship, my partner, Willie and I, so he owns a restaurant here in Hartford and in West Hartford called Soul Bowls And he is a busy bee. I am also a busy bee. We are both full-time entrepreneurs with different side gigs, lots of people that depend on us, our communities, our families, our friends, our clients, our business partners, so on and so forth. And so.

With that, with things that can get super busy, it's still very, very, very important to schedule intentional time. And so something that's been working really cool for us and something that we've set out to do for the new year is bi-weekly, we have date nights. So his days off are on Mondays. So every other Monday we go to dinner or try a new activity. And so actually tonight we went to

one of my favorite Mediterranean restaurants called Zohara. And then we went to a place called Yemerica, is Yemeni, Yemeni specialized coffee and tea. And so it was, it's just awesome. A great way to set intention for the week and build community with each other, deepen our bonds, deepen our love. And we are about to be eight years this year and are actually planning our wedding. So.

Mimi Gonzalez (14:10.242)
Super exciting stuff. anyway, with all of this, I've just been reflecting a lot on legacy, right? And how building our legacy really comes from nurturing our relationships and the people around us. And so my question to you is, how can you channel your inner Red T and nurture your relationships and the people around you?

And my other question for you is who is someone who has maybe died in your life or maybe is a key figure, not a family member, maybe it's a celebrity, a musician, right? Things like that that have inspired your legacy. So with that, I can't wait to hear from you all. Please feel free to DM me on Instagram or on LinkedIn, comment on YouTube. I would love to hear your thoughts. And also what are your thoughts on the difference between

brand and a legacy. Y'all I'm just thinking so much I just really wanted to hop on here and connect with you in this way and I'm excited to hear your thoughts and what you thought about the episode. So thanks so much and cheers to channeling your inner Red T and nurturing the relationships around you. Have a great week and I'll see you soon.