The Flynn Skidmore Podcast

The Coexistence of Self, Reality Creation and Unveiling Neutrality with Pea the Feary

January 24, 2024 Flynn Skidmore / Pea the Feary Episode 27
The Coexistence of Self, Reality Creation and Unveiling Neutrality with Pea the Feary
The Flynn Skidmore Podcast
More Info
The Flynn Skidmore Podcast
The Coexistence of Self, Reality Creation and Unveiling Neutrality with Pea the Feary
Jan 24, 2024 Episode 27
Flynn Skidmore / Pea the Feary

In this episode, my guest is Pea The Feary, an artist and spiritualist. Pea specializes in the energetics of reality creation and uses the principles of reality creation to support creatives in calling in careers they desire and love.

Pea describes using timeline jumping to get from where you are to where you want to be, unveiling yourself, and revealing yourself through choice, life as an act of creativity, and the concept of neutrality.

This conversation offers an immensely beautiful deep dive on what it means to go to the depths of reality, orienting life to the frequency of joy versus neutrality, and the coexistence of different aspects of self.

Connect with Flynn:

Connect with Pea:

Submit your written reviews to THIS form to be entered into a giveaway to win a 30 min session with me! We'll pull 1 winner at the end of the month.

Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, my guest is Pea The Feary, an artist and spiritualist. Pea specializes in the energetics of reality creation and uses the principles of reality creation to support creatives in calling in careers they desire and love.

Pea describes using timeline jumping to get from where you are to where you want to be, unveiling yourself, and revealing yourself through choice, life as an act of creativity, and the concept of neutrality.

This conversation offers an immensely beautiful deep dive on what it means to go to the depths of reality, orienting life to the frequency of joy versus neutrality, and the coexistence of different aspects of self.

Connect with Flynn:

Connect with Pea:

Submit your written reviews to THIS form to be entered into a giveaway to win a 30 min session with me! We'll pull 1 winner at the end of the month.

Flynn Skidmore: Hello and welcome to the Flynn Skidmore podcast. My goal is to help you become exactly who you want to be. We're here to help you take your biggest, boldest, most beautiful vision for life and turn that vision into reality. Welcome back to the Flynn Skidmore podcast. Today my guest is Pea the Feary. Pea is an energetic strategist for creatives, and I want to read to you how Pea describes herself.

I don't do the work I do because I'm altruistic or some sort of spiritual saint. I do it because it's fun and I'm obsessed with the video game like and experimental nature of life. In this conversation, Pea and I got to play at the edges of my understanding of what reality is, and I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation.

 You ever think about how you came to be or why you are the way you are or why it seems that you have access to this perspective that's relatively uncommon?

Pea the Feary: Um, I used to like want to know why it felt like I could read everything very well if that makes any sense.

And then I realized like we all just probably have different skills. That we Can you utilize? And so mine seem poignant to me because I'm the one who has them and other people have different types of gifts or skills that might not be as obvious to me or, uh, I'd say like beneficial because they're not mine.

Flynn Skidmore: And then after, after like releasing the energy invested into thinking about it, or kind of like, I think sometimes when we're thinking about our, our particular skills or gifts, it's almost like. In my experience, what I've noticed in myself is wanting to collect evidence that allows me to make the argument that it's special.

Um, so it's almost like, almost like hoping that it's special and looking to prove it's specialness. And then going back to what you were saying before about ego, it's like, okay, well, if I can prove that it's special, well, what does that do for me? What does that get me? What experience am I really looking to have?

And it's almost like, okay, if I can prove that this thing about me is special. Then maybe what I get to do is, um, have like a more resounding sense of assuredness that I have permission to share this skill with the world. I like, I'm allowed then to be bolder about the ways in which I use this skill. But I think, I think that what I'm understanding about how you work through the lens of utility and efficiency, it's like, let's actually just get rid of all that extra noise and that bullshit.

Let's get clear on what you want is to be able to use your gifts to be of service to people, not waste the energy, trying to justify them as special and just start using them to be of service to other people. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah, yeah, I, I mean, they seem to be useful, and so I'm like, well, there's use there, let's, let's use them, as much as I can, um, but I will say that, like, because it's, these are things that I've used, like, every job I've ever had, I've used this, I've used this in conversation every single day, in school I used this way of being, and so I've always just used my way of seeing the world, you And then I started finding ways to use it.

That were more fun.

Always refining more and more, more, much more fun. And can I make this,

Flynn Skidmore: what was that process like? Like, what was it? What was it? If it wasn't as fun before, what was it? And how did, how did it happen where you made the choice to start massaging it out and iterating it in a way that allowed it to be more fun and then what worked to make it more fun?

So that's a lot, but if it wasn't fun before, what was it? Let's start there. 

Pea the Feary: I'll say like, I wasn't trying to actively make it more fun at first. It was more like this isn't fun and I hate my life and I don't want to be here. And, so it's either I leave here or I do something else. I, Was miserable and I needed to not be miserable anymore.

That's, that's how things started.

Flynn Skidmore: I had such a similar experience. It was like, I have this thing that seems to be unique, but I really have not honed this skill or learned to make much use of it. I'm actually just buried in misery and depression and suicidality. So one option really is to die, or I could learn, or I could figure out how to use this particular thing in order to build a life that I enjoy and that I want to be here for.

Pea the Feary: Mm hmm. Yeah. And I mean, it's, it's not even like I thought my skill was my way out. Oh, sorry. It wasn't even like, I thought my skill was my way out. I also like, I'm a visual artist. So I was like, well, let me, I want to make art and that's how, uh, I'll be able to, you know, not suffer. And then I realized like, I don't want to just make art and I don't like doing commissions.

So I need to find another way. Cause that sucks too

Flynn Skidmore: so you, you saw your art as the thing that was the way out. You started doing that. You realized that it wasn't totally the thing. It wasn't totally doing it for you. And then, and then you started to, to figure out that this particular vision that you have, this particular skillset, like that's the thing that you could use to create the life that you want.

Pea the Feary: Yeah. And I'd say like, it's interesting because, um, uh, with the art thing, I, this is when I, uh, but in between art and then when I started offering human design readings is when I started to tap into like future realities sensationally, which is the practice that I call timeline jumping. Um, I started tapping into those sensations and I'm like, okay.

So. I, this is how I want to feel. So this is when it started turning from like, I'm miserable and I don't want to be too, uh, this is still not quite it. And then I'm like, well then what is it? And that's kind of the, the, the question that I had with myself. And I tapped into that sensation, into that feeling.

And at the time I had already did like some studying of human design. It just kind of, I don't even know. I think I was in a bookstore and I saw a human design book. I don't, I don't even know how I found it. So I started to kind of obsessing over that and I was, um, playing with that. And. I didn't see like offering people help as the way for me to like, I don't know, get out of making art because I still make art, but, um, I tapped into sensation and I'm like, oh, okay, well, when I'm living the reality where I'm not having to make art, I'm having fun.

I'm vibing. So I. embodied that like future identity of like me having fun, me just vibing. And I'm chilling with my partner, , one night and we're drinking, I'm in his bedroom and this brilliant idea comes to like, I should start talking about human design. And so I posted it on my Instagram stories and then I woke up to like 20 DMS from people wanting human design readings for me.

And I was like, Oh, okay, that's cool. Um, so I did those and then I'm like, Oh, okay, that's fun. I just kept refining what feels more and more like what I want to feel like. And it eventually turned into this, which will, I'm sure will turn into something else, you know?

Flynn Skidmore: So you're clear on the outcome that you want to produce, which is the particular feeling that you'd like to have in your body. Right. And then what you start, what your process is, is that he's like using. What I'm understanding timeline jumping to be is the result at point B. Uh, when you're like living the life you want, it's full of fun.

There's a process to get from point A to point B. And what I'm hearing you say is that the process to get from where you are to where you want to be is almost like a meditation on a massaging of a cultivation of the feeling you want to have. So in the process, what you get to do, like when you're making content, when you're building a business, you get to learn about all of the unconscious programs that you have that say that you're not allowed to, or it's not, it's not available to have the feeling in your body that you want right now.

And you get to reprogram those things in the process of going from point A to point B. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah, I'd say so. . I wouldn't consciously call it reprogramming, but yeah.

Flynn Skidmore: Yeah, tell me about that. Tell me about not consciously calling it reprogramming. 

 To me, it feels like I am unveiling myself over reprogramming myself. So that desire to feel a certain way or be a certain thing or see myself a certain way, that desire is only there because it is who I am.

Pea the Feary: At least one version of me. There's a version of me in reality who exists. And they are that person and it's like I'm letting them exist as the dominant self

Flynn Skidmore: i, I get what you're saying. And I'm glad that I asked because there is something about reprogramming that I don't like either, but I say it and I think the reason that I don't like it is because like you're helping me understand why, what it is that's actually happening. It's like. In the infinite realm of possibilities, there is this version of me who exists, whose body is filled up with this particular experience.

Who's having this particular experience and what it's, what, what this is about is. It's almost like softening the edges of my awareness to simply just allow that person to exist through me. 

Pea the Feary: It's like it, you like melt it in.

 It's like mixing it into the batter. It's like 

Flynn Skidmore: melting. Yes. That's a great way of describing it. I can feel that in my body. It's like a mixing. It's identifying who this person is. Appreciating it, loving it, being excited and eager to drop that in the batter and mix the batter so that it becomes something else.

Pea the Feary: Yeah, yeah, because like the, the fear angsty, like wanting to die self is, is still in there somewhere inside of me, I'm sure. And I'm, I can sometimes feel the existential dread pop up here and there. Um, just cause I live in a world and I don't know how we got here. So that's just going to be there. Um, but, uh, it feels like there's also other selves that continue to be revealed through choice because I want to see them.

Flynn Skidmore: I really like the idea that you're not trying to get rid of your despair, death is a better option self that actually what this is about is, is like an act of creativity, almost like the co creation, uh, it's, it's this thing that gets created and through relationship between your like your abundantly fun self and your wanting to die self.

Pea the Feary: Yeah, yeah, and the wanting to die stuff that and this is I guess this is also part of like my unique experience Um, is that what that showed me, the fact that I'm like that kind of person, um, was that it did give me some detachment and I'm not, I'm not encouraging this, but I do have a bit of detachment from my quote unquote life.

So like, yes, I am me and it is my life, but there's a part of me that's like, this isn't it. Like, uh, I don't know how to describe it. But this 

Flynn Skidmore: isn't, this isn't the, I know what you mean. I know what, it's one way of describing it is taking it so seriously. Like as if this, as if reality were scarce and that this is the only, it's like, we're in this like room where oxygen is being sucked out and we need to desperately cling to this last molecule of.

oxygen, which is this reality. But like when you get close to death, you kind of like, and it's actually an option to die. Or like, it seems like it might be one of the, one of your better options. I know what you're saying. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah. And I, I know I've spoken about this before and I know it makes people really uncomfortable because I'm not, I value life so deeply and I'm so happy that I'm here and I'm so happy that I made the choice to stay here.

However, the clinging isn't. As much there for me as maybe it is for others.

Which is something that's strange to describe. 

Flynn Skidmore: Yeah, well I feel that too. Um, and sometimes I cling. But I think what I, the place that I've gotten to is, I'm very, I'm very, very rarely sucked into the black hole of the clinging. Where the clinger part of me. is the only reality that exists. Like I don't get sucked into that black hole.

I can see the clinging. I can see the worldview of the part of me who's clinging. I let them be, but I don't become them as often anymore. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah. Yeah. And that's really helpful. And so what I tell when I work with clients, I'm like, you don't need to get to this state. However, what can, what, what I found a way to kind of mimic this is to realize that certain things aren't actually the end of the world.

Um, and I'll go there with my clients or I'm like, okay, what is the actual worst thing that could happen? Like, like, let's go there. Let's let's go to the worst possible reality that you actually believe is possible. Let's go. Um, and I find that they're like, what? And I'm like, yeah, let's go. Let's look at it.

Let's play it out. And that can kind of help to mimic that almost attachment. Cause you realize like, Oh wait, even if it is the end of the world, it's not actually the end of the world. And that gives my clients like a, or even just anyone I'm talking to, honestly, like a bit of like, Oh, okay. Okay.

Flynn Skidmore: I really, really love that over the last couple of months, the way that I've been describing what. What I've been like, you probably have this experience where when someone is sharing something with you, you can hear their version of the worst possible thing that can happen. And you can probably sense that they're not allowing themselves to go there.

It exists in their awareness as words, but they haven't yet gone into that universe of their own personal health to see what they're actually afraid of. 

Pea the Feary: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Flynn Skidmore: And, and I imagine that what you do, what, what I, the way that I like to think about it is like, okay, let's identify our own personal hells and let's go there with curiosity.

Because the reason that we're terrified of our own personal hells is because we're operating through the lens of a part of ourselves who thinks it's inevitable that there's only suffering there. and that there's no curiosity available there. There's there. We can't have the experience we want to have in this personal hell.

Therefore we have to shut off our awareness to it and be terrified of it. What I hear you saying is that you hold someone's hand. Maybe you see it like that and you go into that space where their unconscious can learn, Oh, this thing that I thought there was no availability of joy or delight or curiosity.

I'm actually now. Getting proof that the opposite is true. We are curious in this space and therefore this space is no longer, I don't need to be terrified. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah. Yeah. And I love the way you worded it because it feels like something to, play with. Like, let's, let's have a go at this type of energy.

And I think that that can be helpful to meet that energy with, because there is such a deep desire to stay away from it at all costs, but it's like, well, no, let's, let's, let's be curious and play, let's see what's going on there.

Flynn Skidmore: Do you think that, so where I am at, where the way that I see this and conceptualize this is that you have learned to live.

Through your heart might be one way of describing it. And you trust yourself to filter your experience through your heart, even if you're in hell, is that a fair way to describe it? 

Pea the Feary: I'd say like, uh, it it's for me, it's like neutrality. Is more the lens that I go through, which is, I sometimes will feel like, I feel like a cyborg sometimes. Um, but I can choose to get to the point where I'm witnessing what I'm experiencing, like the neutral, like observer, like, okay, here's what's happening.

That's it. And, and it's almost like, okay, this life is I'm, I'm still me. This is still my quote unquote life. But like, If I'm just watching a character in a reality, okay, what then? Now it takes me a second to get to that point because of course I want to be able to like feel the experiences that the character would be feeling and like be witness to the thoughts that the characters have and like and have that experience, but at some point I get to the point where I'm like, well, all right.

That's it.

Flynn Skidmore: I imagine that you trust you can have that experience with just about anything that you could find in your psyche? Is that true for you? 

Pea the Feary: Yeah. In my psyche, for sure. And there's a part of me that's like, are you sure about that? Like there, there might be something that will happen where you can't get to neutrality.

And I'm like, okay, like. Maybe, I'm sure, because I don't know everything, but overall, I have a general ability to get to neutrality if I want to. I don't always want to, but if I want to, I can, I can get there. I've, I've done it in very scary situations. But yeah, I guess I, I have this, that overall trust that I can get there.

Flynn Skidmore: And what has that, how has that translated in your life? What, what has been the utility of that for you? 

Pea the Feary: Utility. So I can, um, function and move and get something done. Even if like, I might be feeling a layer of fear on top of it. Like, for instance, I had this scary situation where my dog was like throwing up, she's foaming at the mouth and like, I'm, I'm experiencing the freak out of like, Oh my God, my dog could be dying.

And then there's also a part of me that was watching with neutrality. And it was letting me know, like, here's what has to happen. You have to wake up your partner. You need to call this vet, call the vet, let them know what's going on, drive to the, like it, it was, and it was like, I could feel the feeling of what was going on, but if I let, if I leaned into the neutral part of me, they're like, well, here's what has to actually happen.

 And there was, it was, it's a strange thing and it, I find that it happens, it's super like stark whenever something really freaky and crazy is happening that I can, I can be in both worlds at once and one can tell me what to do and the other one is just feeling. And so it has utility because my dog was fine.

We got, we did what we needed to do and everything worked out. And like, I've done it in like my car sometimes, or like something might be freaky happening on the road. And I'm like, okay. And I can like drop into neutral and I'm like, this is what has to happen for you not to die. 

Flynn Skidmore: It's what's in what stands out to me about that, I really relate to that experience, like remaining calm and having a sense of clarity about what to do in a situation that, um, would probably for many people might get them sucked into the black hole of their very Finite human self who's terrified of their dog dying.

And, um, the tragedy about the human experience is like when, when we get sucked into those black holes, we're then less effective and we're less likely to produce the result of our dog living. If we get sucked into the terror of our dog dying, what I'm hearing though, it's I'm, I'm, I'm would like to challenge this a bit.

I'm curious to hear what you, what you say. I don't hear neutrality because what I'm hearing is actions that are oriented towards the support of life, which means that there's a value in here.

Pea the Feary: And I think it's what I want. So it's almost like If I can, if I, and this is, I truly believe this about like even reality creation, when I'm working at, when I'm working with a client, who's like, I'm having this terrible time, I really don't like this, dah, dah, dah, dah. I'm like, okay, cool. You don't need to get to positive.

You only need to get to neutral and you're automatically taken in the direction of what you want. That's just, that's how we orient. We orient towards the thing that smells delicious. It's like, if you smell a delicious plate of chicken in front of you, or if you're vegan, if you smell a delicious plate of tofu in front of you, like you're going shift your gaze.

And that direction. And so the thing that I'm wanting, the desire is, is what takes me, I guess, immediately from neutral to something else.

Flynn Skidmore: That's fascinating. Okay. So in a, in a neutral, what I'm hearing here are the dynamics of like harmonic systems thinking. I'm hearing like some of the most beautiful things that the universe produces.

And, and let's say something like chicken or tofu is producing a particular frequency. That's coherent. If I'm in a state of neutrality and I'm, I then pick up on that coherent signal, I'm going to orient toward it. That's what you're, that's what you're saying. And I think that like when, when, when like ancient spiritual teachers have been speaking about like non doing or not trying and all that kind of thing, I think that that's the thing that they're speaking about is like.

The attractive force, the force of the attractive force is it's pulling power is more powerful than you're pushing power. And if you access what we're describing here as this state of neutrality, you get pulled toward the things you desire. Yes. Every time. What's interesting, what's like kind of intellectually tricky about that and what's interesting is that, okay, so that means that girl of the, you, you, of the neutrality is to get what you want.

But then in order to get what you want, the most useful thing to do, the best strategy is to access neutrality. So then it requires you to have two things exist at once. 

Pea the Feary: Hmm. And I'd say like, I'd say access neutrality when you are in disharmony, but if you're in harmony, then move towards what you want. So neutrality isn't always my goal.

I'd say I do enjoy hanging out at neutrality. That's just, I prefer that. I don't always have the capacity for like a ton of joy. Like, okay. So even with my, with the dog situation and I felt the fear or whatever, after, after everything got taken care of. I went back home and I cried because I'm like, wow, that was so scary.

And I like let myself like feel all the things and I had to have that experience. But then I was just like, okay, I want to be back to neutral. And then I went back to kind of neutral. And then even when I'm like super excited, like when I got married to my partner, I had the fun. I'm like, Ooh, and I'm like, okay, okay.

I need to like, I need to get back to neutral cause I enjoy staying there. Um, but I would say if you're specifically, if you're in disharmony, then aiming for neutrality is where I have to remind people to aim because oftentimes when people are in disharmony, they're like the most harmony is what I want.

And I'm like, Oh, I understand that. I understand that that's what you're wanting, but what I want you to aim towards is neutrality right now.

Flynn Skidmore: I really, really, really like that. In a state of coherence, then like continue seeking the like you'll be pulled towards the harmony. The creation will happen. Whereas if you're in a state of incoherence, Uh, disharmony, get to neutral and trust that in neutral you will be pulled into harmony and coherence for as long as you want.

So as for as long as you want. Yeah. Okay. And so then, then you like the experience of getting back to neutral and that I'm curious, I'd like, this may not even be interesting to you. And if it's not interesting to you that like we, we absolutely don't, but it's, I'm curious to hear if like, if, if you think that that is an effect of.

The system of you who in this life in this human experience experiences like, um, intersectionality and identities that are historically oppressed. Like, is it more useful for you to be, to spend more time in neutrality in an environment where there are like non harmonizing perspectives of who you are, what you represent?

Pea the Feary: I prefer to, I won't force myself to. So if I see myself. leaning in a certain direction. I'm like, well, there's reasons why, and I'm going to let myself lean in, feel that move through that. Um, but I'm not saying like you should, you have to be neutral. You have to stay neutral. It, but it is, it is my, uh, natural desire to want to go back to neutral.

It just, it feels Like, Oh, like I'm my, I'm like the most myself personally when I can return back to that state. But if I want to sway in a direction, I will sway. I'll find out what's in there. I'll like, Oh, what's, why are you wanting to sway in that direction? What's going on? It'll get curious. I'm like, maybe it's ancestral information.

That's making me want to sway in this direction. Maybe it's just like simple curiosity. I want to understand sway over there. And then, but I just, I just naturally go back to neutral. 

Flynn Skidmore: It's like your, your energetic fingerprint. There's something about neutrality. That's like homeostasis for you. That's your sweet spot.

Pea the Feary: Yes. It's my favorite

Flynn Skidmore: when you're neutral. How do you know?

Pea the Feary: I feel empty. I feel like I'm just watching. Um, which I'm sure some people might be like, you feel empty, but like, that's, I mean, it feels like I'm just observing, I'm breathing and witnessing, and that feels nice. Because I feel like a part of why I incarnated was to look around. I just want to walk around and look at stuff.

And that feels like, okay, 

Flynn Skidmore: all right. It's really interesting to look around what I'm hearing is like being an empty vessel to just sort of take in information. Yes.

It's a really, really fascinating life purpose to be here. And to sit, to just look around. , 

Pea the Feary: that's . But, and, but it's like, it's also what I do, like even when I travel or like if I go to Ikea or like, I'm always just wanting to look around . That's just what I like to do. Mm-Hmm. . Um, yeah. And, and pleasure. I like to like tap into pleasure.

 So that might be like eating a delicious treat or, uh, looking at something beautiful or like touching a really like delicious texture. So enjoying things, but then I'm like, okay, that's enough. Let's go back to. Walking around and looking

Flynn Skidmore: when I'm hearing that, I mean, there's something that feels very peaceful about that. I, um, I feel similar. My brand of it is a little bit different. I, I think that my energetic fingerprint may be less neutral and more oriented towards, um, like my, I think, I think, and I could be wrong. Like I could be lying to myself, but I think that my energetic fingerprint sweet spot.

Is, um, more in the joy of space. I, like when I want to just walk around and look at things too, but what's most pleasure, what's most fulfilling and satisfying for me is to like, um, be relating to the information that I'm processing with my heart. Um, not so much as an empty vessel, more as like. Filtering this information through my heart.

Maybe there's some aspects of this tree that exist in collective consciousness that are, that are coded with, uh, like fear or shame. And I want that to move through me and I want to meet that with curiosity. And if that fear or shame wants to be loved, I want to help it be loved. That's kind of my default state.

Pea the Feary: Yeah, and I think I surround myself with people like you because it's it's nice to be like a lot of my friends I would say would say something very similar and like my partner is someone who just like naturally wants to orient towards joy and like my best friend and Honestly, everyone who's close to me It's like that.

Just interesting. And it's fun to observe people like that. 

Flynn Skidmore: Do you have any judgments of that? 

Pea the Feary: No. I think, I think I enjoy observing people like that. 

Flynn Skidmore: That's a really, really beautiful thing. I'm so happy for you that that's your experience of life because I know that some, sometimes what people.

Sometimes what people and I'm not, I'm not suggesting that I sense this at all in what's happening with you, but I have seen this, um, where people reject joy because along the way their mind, their body learned that joy is not safe. And I've even seen the type of thing where some people think that if another person who's joyful, that means that that person is naive and hasn't experienced things.

So then they reject that because they want to be seen for all of the painful experiences that they've had. Is that, is that making sense? Yeah, it totally makes sense. And like I can really understand that for sure. Um, it's also very refreshing and delightful for me to hear you describe your experience as not like a rejection of the orientation towards joy, but that's just not your thing.

Your thing is to like, see it and appreciate it and witness it, but your preferred state is neutral. I just think that's very, very cool.

Pea the Feary: Yeah. I mean, I love watching people like you exist. It's so interesting and like intriguing and I used to be much more like cynical and grumpy, obviously like wanting to die.

We'll do that. Um, But like my best friend to this day, uh, one of she's the only friend I made in college. Cause I refused to make friends. I was just like, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get through this and get out. I dropped out. So I got out anyway, but, um, she like sat next to me for like weeks, months.

It would just sit near me and like, try to talk to me. And I'm like, I don't understand why this person keeps talking to me. And then one day I like actually looked at her and like watched her speak. And she was filled with so much joy that I was like, Oh, this is a dazzling human being. Like you are so strange.

And like, this is fascinating you, I am so confused by you. Um, and I think, I think people who are just naturally. What like orienting towards joy are just so fascinating to me. Cause I guess it's, it's like less fascinating to, for people who are maybe like miserable. Cause like I did that and I understood that and I'm like, I get it.

I, yeah. Um, but joyful people, I'm like, wow, that is cool. And for some reason I don't have a ton of desire to like, hang out there a ton, but it is nice to like borrow it from them and like kind of hang out in the same vibe for a little while. And I'm like, that's cool. And then I'm like, okay, that's enough.

I've had enough. 

Flynn Skidmore: I love that. I love that you taste it. You taste it and then you go back to your sweet spot. 

Pea the Feary: Yeah. Yeah, but it is. It's so beautiful and fascinating.

Flynn Skidmore: One of the things that I read you wrote, which I sincerely appreciated. I don't remember exactly what you said, but you're addressing the narrative that the world is somehow getting worse and worse. I was really paying attention to this this year, and I think that this has been happening ever, you know, I've really noticed this since COVID, uh, and maybe it was happening before that, and I just wasn't as aware of it, but every single year, the, the common narrative that this 2023 was the worst year ever.

Thank God this is over. I, to be honest with you, I've literally never had that experience before. I've never had my own thought. I'm so glad this year is over. I'm curious to hear your take on that. 

Pea the Feary: More recently over the past, like five years, I don't think I've had. that thought. I had it in the past.

And I think for me, because of how cynical and angsty and angry and like grumpy, I guess I was, I'm able to see and understand that perspective. And then because of the neutrality that I kind of look at the world through, and then all of the awareness of history that I've taken in as well from the lens of neutrality, when I actually look at it and I'm like, Whoa, like, even if I look at my.

Like, it's so interesting to look at history to now through a lens of like, no agenda. Um, it, you start to see all the agendas, I guess. And I'm like, Oh, really, really, really interesting. And I don't think the agendas are per, I'm not a huge, no offense to conspiracy theorists. I'm not one. And so I don't always think the agendas are like pointed, but I see like how ideas are perpetuated because they must be.

And so I'm like, Oh, okay. Ah, it's just very interesting to watch. Now I will say that at some point I chose that my years are going to get better and better every single year. Um, and I'm dedicated to that. I want to continue to have that experience. So I'm deciding that that's going to continue to happen.

Um, and so I feel like that's true as at this point, I think I've. Maybe hypnotized myself into believing that that's true, but it feels real that every year of my life continues to get better.

Flynn Skidmore: I really like hearing you say that you've decided that that's true. And it's the evidence that you're collecting suggests that that is true. And the. Based on the evidence you've collected, it's fair to project into the future that that's what will continue. But I think what I really hear at the center of that is a trust in yourself to create the experience that you want to have.

Pea the Feary: Yes. Yeah. I'm, I, choice and decisions are everything. To me, it's everything. And so I, I, I try to make decisions that I can fully back.

Flynn Skidmore: What are some of the biggest decisions that you've made? 

Pea the Feary: Ooh, my biggest one was deciding that I'm safe. That's the biggest one

for sure. 

Flynn Skidmore: And let's, let's define safety. So what, if you're safe, how do you know, and what does it mean to be safe? So, 

Pea the Feary: uh, it's a decision that I make continuously. Um, but I can, it's like, I can let myself see. Not every possibility because I don't even think my brain has the capacity, but the possibilities that are within my vicinity, whether they be scary or not, I can let myself see all of them.

And then from seeing all of them, feeling the fear of them, feeling the excitement of them, but feeling and witnessing every experience. My, the decision that I made years ago was that I'm going to decide that I am safe. So even the, even the possibilities where like, Oh my God, this scary, horrible thing can happen.

I'm like, okay, that's a possibility, but I'm safe. So I 

Flynn Skidmore: don't say even if that possibility happens, 

Pea the Feary: yes, I'm somehow I'm going to end up safe. I don't know how, but that's the decision that I'm making. 

Flynn Skidmore: Yeah, I, uh, when I was 19, I read for like, I don't know, maybe six months to a year. What I spent most of my time doing was smoking so much weed and doing yoga.

And it, uh, I don't do yoga anymore, but it really was transformative. And one of the things that I learned in that experience. the, the, my tendency to become discomfort rather than witness discomfort. And I realized that most of my trepidation, most of my fear about pain was actually a distrust for myself.

It was, it was, um, it was. not knowing how to not become the pain. And once I started to cultivate the ability to witness pain rather than become it, um, it, it, it opened up. I think it opened up this thing that you're speaking about where I do this all the time. I'm always considering. My own personal hell and the worst possible thing that could happen and the most painful things.

And when I'm envisioning that, I'm also envisioning an experience where I'm witnessing those things happen rather than becoming those things happening. And I, and I wonder if there's something in there that, that touches the version of safety that you've decided to access. 

Pea the Feary: I love that. Cause that, that's like a, you trust.

Your ability to move through whatever needs to be moved through instead of being consumed by whatever is happening, you know, okay, even if this unfolds. I trust whatever I'm, whatever choices I'm going to make, I trust those. And so I, I love that. Um, and also it's funny cause I had a series of time where I would smoke and I would get high to the point of deep, deep anxiety and terror.

Um, but I did it on purpose, which is, I don't recognize, I don't recommend this to people, but I did it on purpose cause I wanted to understand fear as much as possible. Um, and I think that's what helped me like, Oh, okay. I can experience you and I guess a lot like you're saying, I don't have to become you or rather, uh, you don't have to, yeah, that's exactly what you're saying.

I think you don't have to fill my entire body. I get to watch you. You don't. 

Flynn Skidmore: Exactly. And you know, when I, when I hear you say choices, I think like in the, in the example with your dog, you certainly made choices about the actions that you're going to take. And I imagine that when people consider choices that that's probably the thing that many people think about, that the choices are about the actions that we're taking.

I think, and maybe it doesn't make, maybe it doesn't make sense to identify what's most important. I don't know. Whatever. What I think is most important is the choices we make about how we relate to the experience we're having. So if my body is in pain. Whether or not I am aware of it, I'm making a choice about how I'm relating to that pain.

I'm either allowing myself to become the pain and get sucked in like the black hole, or I'm making the choice to witness it with curiosity. And for me, when we're talking about choice, that's the thing that we're really, really talking about. What is the choice I'm making about the energy that I'm exchanging with this thing or how I'm relating to it?

Pea the Feary: Yeah, totally. Yeah. I would 100 percent agree. Totally. Totally. 100 percent the choices, the choices I'd, I'd even say like, yes, you, you definitely make choices through action, but that's like the last choice you'd make.

Flynn Skidmore: It's almost like once you make the choice about how you relate to the experience you're having, the action becomes the chicken or the tofu, like this thing with massive magnetic pull that pulls you into the action. Yes, 

Pea the Feary: 100 percent 100 percent

Flynn Skidmore: I'm really happy for you that you live life that way it's I, I have honestly never had a conversation with someone who experiences life.

I don't even know how to say this so similarly in the way that in the way that is so familiar to me. And, um. It's very, I feel very relaxed and happy knowing that you're having a serious, a similar experience of life because normally I'm, I'm trying to teach accessing that version of life. 

Pea the Feary: Mm hmm. Yeah, I can understand that.

It's fun. It's fun. Um, meeting. It is fun. It's fun meeting, uh, fellow aliens.

Flynn Skidmore: Really is. It's my favorite, one of my favorite, , I think it's a meme, like the, the Spider Man, Spider Men pointing at each other. Yeah, it's, it's really, really, really cool for me to hear that this is, this is how you experience life can be, can be isolating. And I think you pointed to a few times, um, you've pointed to a few, I can't remember exactly how you said it, but it was when you were speaking about like neutrality and getting close to death and how it might, you know, you remember what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, um, I think that the perspectives that you're speaking about can be staggering and can seem apathetic or can seem, uh, I don't, I don't know what the, what the judgments or the evaluations might be. Um, but, but what my sense is, is that what you have been able to access is this degree of freedom.

Yeah. Yeah. That I think humans have been, have sought for thousands and thousands of years and have tried to teach. I'm not trying to hype you up or inflate you, but it, but I, I don't know of anything that is more of the experience of freedom that a human gets to have than what you're speaking about. 

Pea the Feary: I hope so.

And, and I think what, what helps me exist. In this way is that like I let the human parts of me exist, not to say that like those other parts are not human, but like the part of me who it's just like, what's going to happen next month? Ah, I'm like, yeah, that's kind of freaky. Like, you don't know what's going to happen next month.

Um, and I let them exist. And then I'm like, okay, now what are we going to choose though? And so I think that's what allows is that I leave space for my humanity and also like I guess other people's as well. I want to understand theirs as much as possible. Um, and so I want to understand mine. And so like, I don't know, it, it.

Having the freedom and also like being present in whenever I feel confined, witnessing that and then moving past that and seeing it's like, Oh, this, this feels like a true experience. One of the craziest things is like how many identities that I realize we all hold within us. And how, like, there are times where I'll look around for a second and I'm like, how did my life turn out like this?

And I'll like be confused. And I'm like, how did this happen? And it's almost like the old version of myself kind of wakes up in my body for a second. It just, it makes me laugh because it's like, what? What's going on? And I'm like, it's fine. I know this is so confusing to you and weird. Um, and you, I mean, if you were looking at me now, you'd probably think I was crazy.

Um, and I can like let all of myself exist. And I think that's what helps me. It's because I, I am 100

Flynn Skidmore: percent yeah. I, in, in the, you, you like neutrality. I like the The heart thing. I think about it. Like if, if you imagine a snowflake with this like complex network of connections between different points, I just, I like thinking about being the heart at the center of that. And each of those points is these different identities or these human versions of ourselves who are finite, who have been hurt, will be hurt, who are terrified of death, who need belonging, need status, need all that.

And just being the heart at the center of that, that's coherently and rhythmically pumping life into each of those things without needing them to change. Like. It, uh, it's just, it feels fucking amazing. And when you're speaking about the human versions of you who are freaking out about next month and what's going to happen, I think that probably the, the reason that you're able to.

Uh, engage with those parts of you with such like an accepting and allowing energy is probably because you know how to access the truth of what someone or yourself actually wants. Because it's probably not the case that part of you probably thinks it wants certainty about what's going to happen next month, what it probably actually wants.

Is to access relaxation and it's attached to the idea that it needs to know something is going to happen in order to access relaxation. 

Pea the Feary: 100%. 100%. Absolutely.

Flynn Skidmore: And then what I find is in the stuff that you're speaking about where you just allow them to be, then all of a sudden this human part of you who. Um, probably is operating with this sense that it, it needs to defend itself and justify the way that it is, that there's going to be pressure to change all of a sudden you, and I don't even know what I'm speaking about when I'm referring to you, but you approach it with this energy of it, not needing to change anything.

You're just witnessing it. It can be as it is. All of a sudden it finds itself in an environment where it doesn't need to defend itself. And then I find that those parts of ourselves learn that they can, they don't want to be that way. It doesn't want to be clinging on desperately needing to know what's going to happen next month.

It wants to be relaxed. And when you meet it with an energy that doesn't force it to change, it realizes that it can get what it wants right now. 

Pea the Feary: Yes. And, and sometimes they even hold utility. So like, uh, for instance, let's say I'm panicking about when I'm doing human design readings back when I did them and panicking about how many people I'm going to have to talk to in a day.

And I'm like, Oh my God, I'd talk to so many people. I'd talk to when I'm witnessing that part of myself, who's like, I have to talk to so many people, ah, witnessing them. I'm like, Oh, you don't want to talk to, you want to talk to less people. And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, we'll figure that out. And I'm like, Oh, okay.

Flynn Skidmore: Yes. Yes. I love, I love that. Right. So, okay. Just finding the truth about the thing that you want. You just want to speak to less people without having to operate with the energy of like, you're not allowed to have that. You can get whatever the fuck you want. Then just create that then. 

Pea the Feary: Yes. Yes. So it's like, well, what do you want?

One who's panicking. What is it? What 

Flynn Skidmore: do you actually want? Yeah. I 

Pea the Feary: love that. Tell me. Yeah. 

Flynn Skidmore: Yeah. I love that so much. And then what you get to do is like the, the, the creative part of bringing those things into three dimensional reality and then building a business where that is reflective of what you actually want and the experience that you want to have.

Pea the Feary: Yes. So like a lot of the business codes for people and like, it's, it's hidden in what you want. You are designed to build whatever business you want and you know how to build it. It's a, it's in your desires. The roadmap is there. What do you want?

Flynn Skidmore: If people could take one thing away from this conversation, what would be the most exciting thing for you for, for people to take away from this conversation?

Pea the Feary: Ooh, witnessing the self with openness and curiosity is the cheat code. Yeah. 

Flynn Skidmore: Yes.

Yeah. I love that. That's like the first principle cheat code. That's the primary thing. Yes. I really like that. Hey, thank you so much for spending this time with me here today. I've really, really enjoyed our conversation. 

Pea the Feary: Me too. It was wonderful. I feel lovely. Thank you. 

Flynn Skidmore: Me too. Me too. Thank you so much.

I hope that you come away from listening to this conversation with a deeper sense, a more tangible sense of what it means to love and accept yourself. It's about seeing yourself as you are, not forcing yourself to change, but getting curious about change if you want to. And then like Pea, uh, so perfectly said, then taking the action to create the change.

Pea, I could not have enjoyed that conversation more. Thank you so much for playing at the edges of my understanding of reality with me. Thank you for going deep into your consciousness and taking back these nuggets for us all to try and taste and grasp. I appreciate you so much. And listeners, I appreciate you all so much for listening and being here.

Thank you.