Double-Bass and The Intermission
Three losers in a hot attic talking about shit that doesn't matter
Double-Bass and The Intermission
The Killdozer
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The return of the King
Last time on Double Bass in the Intermission, uh Ben chose to go have a pack of smokes, but now he's back and ready for action.
SPEAKER_03Hell yes, folks, that is right. Fan favorite returning on the podcast once more.
SPEAKER_05What kind of smokes did you get?
SPEAKER_03Uh, you know, uh Black and Miles.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I'm I'm a shade dark, so you know.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, you gotta get those dark smokes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_03Black and Miles, do they have a menthol in them at all? No.
SPEAKER_10No, I don't think so. No.
SPEAKER_03Is that like wait, is that like an ethnic thing?
SPEAKER_10It's not an ethnic thing. My stepdad used to smoke them.
SPEAKER_03I thought the joke was a shame. That was what I thought the joke was. Yeah, that's what I was going with. Okay. So wait, do ethnic people smoke black and mites? I've seen some of them. Wait, hold on, hold on, wait, wait. Am I gonna give it are those cigarettes or are they like wraps?
SPEAKER_10No, they're cigarellos.
SPEAKER_03Okay, never mind. Yes. Yes, yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, now I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10You get the ones with the little plastic filter.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that's love about my aunt, who's like uh most uh ghetto thing about her was just new ports. Oh yeah. Like I'm talking like the ones that are just like the pack looks looks bad for you just looking at it. Um so uh Ben, uh this might be putting you in an interesting position. Um uh so the three of us for the first time in a while actually have all seen the same movie. Oh yeah, we watched it together. Do you ever see Ghost Dog Way the Samurai? No, what's that about? It's like Forrest Whitaker is like uh the best way to describe him to be like a black guy who'd be like really into like Avatar the Larry St Airbender.
SPEAKER_09Nah, he'd be way more into Samurai Jack. No, no.
SPEAKER_03Either way, he's like they're not the same people.
SPEAKER_09It's a very Wu-Tang movie. It's a very Wu-Tang movie. Oh yeah, Reza did Reza did that fucking soundtrack.
SPEAKER_03You got a lot of Forrest Whitaker being like, the thing is, they even like samurai.
SPEAKER_01If you come forward and you realize your head can go so far up your own ass, do you then see sunlight?
SPEAKER_03That sounds like something I'd like. Yeah, it's actually it's actually right up your alley. That's what I'm surprised you're. Have you been working out? You'll go to buffer. A little bit. Thank you. Yeah, um, yeah, we all just checked this out semi-recently. It's just like uh it's literally like that. Like, it's just the only thing I'm pissy about that movie, not a single sword fight.
SPEAKER_10Nah, no one. He had a gun.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but you know, yeah, come on.
SPEAKER_10Even Oda Nobanaga like guns.
SPEAKER_03That's fine, but the problem is they showed a whole montage of him training with a samurai sword. I thought he'd at least use it once.
SPEAKER_05You'd think.
SPEAKER_03You know, like maybe do like one thing where he only cuts like a quarter of the bullet in half, but the rest of them hit it, but it's one of those things where it's still legend enough that he cut the bullet in half.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, no, that'd be good. You know what I mean? I don't think it would have fit with the It wouldn't have fit with one of the I don't know. I think it might have.
SPEAKER_03Give him like a John Henry type ending where everyone's like, did he though? You know what I mean? Like, did he though? Like, can we get that? Like a did he though?
SPEAKER_10Who the fuck is John Henry? John Henry.
SPEAKER_09Fought the locomotive. Again, it was. Did he though? I don't feel it was that kind of movie. Come on, guys.
SPEAKER_03There's like six American folklore tales. One of them is the story of John Henry. Yeah. The other one's Johnny Appleseed. We got a lot of Johns.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. We got Paul Boone. Paul Bunyan. Paul Bunyan. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What's another American folklore?
SPEAKER_10I thought Paul Boone was also a guy.
SPEAKER_05No. I'm just thinking of rock and roll American history history, Robert Johnson.
SPEAKER_10You might be thinking of his Daniel Boone? No, yeah, I'm thinking of Daniel Boone.
SPEAKER_05Wait, okay.
SPEAKER_10Is he the guy who wrote the Coonskin cat?
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah. He's one of the An Lamo guys. No, that's David uh David um Davy Crockett.
SPEAKER_03That's it. He's the Coonskin cap one. Who the fuck is Dan Boone?
SPEAKER_05Look that up. Anyway, you were saying Ben. No, I was just thinking of uh, you know, American rock history, Robert Johnson. What is that? He was like the famous blues musician who was like, oh, he sold his soul to the Delphine.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. You know what's the thing is I watched a video on that guy. Well, go ahead, Bros.
SPEAKER_09Daniel Boone was an American pioneer and frontiersman whose exploits made him one of the first folk heroes of the United States. Oh, fuck you.
SPEAKER_10Well, I I I think didn't he die at the Alamo? Uh that would be A lot of guys died at the Alamo. A lot of guys did die at the Alamo. There was a lot of guys that died from there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we still won in the end. We have Texas, don't we? Yeah, we got Texas. Take that.
SPEAKER_09I like Texas. It was good. Uh he died in Missouri. So I don't know. Missouri? I don't think he died at the Alamo. Yeah, I was wrong about where.
SPEAKER_03No, where was Missouri's place in the Alamo?
SPEAKER_09It wasn't in Texas.
SPEAKER_03Not even close. Somewhere else, actually. Come to think of it, you couldn't drive there in one shot.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, no. Especially not on a horse. No, no.
SPEAKER_03There was um. Yeah, so there is only like six American folklores.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, and we got like five of them.
SPEAKER_03That's fine. That's fine.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, it looks like Prince and David Bowie.
SPEAKER_03Those aren't folklore. Those people existed.
SPEAKER_10This is Elvis.
SPEAKER_03Paul Bunyan did not exist. And if he did, he was probably only like 6'4 in that officer.
SPEAKER_10Also, wasn't he Canadian?
SPEAKER_03Paul Bunyan? Yeah. I don't think so.
SPEAKER_10That was Canadian.
SPEAKER_03Because I threw- I look now. I'm going off my folklore based solely on that episode of The Simpsons where they meet the homeless guy in the fucking car train car. I don't remember the third segment.
SPEAKER_10Stabbing people with my hobo knife.
SPEAKER_03It's stabbing folks with my hobo knife. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10What's that guy's name? Hobo knife guy. He didn't have a name. He was a singing hobo. Yeah, he's like, I'm not a stabbing hobo.
SPEAKER_03I'm a singing hobo. I'm gonna name him Griff. Griff might Griff's pretty good. That's a good name. That's a good hobo name. There was um. But yeah, so like uh we watched Ghost Dog Way the Samurai. I've been watching the uh new adventures of Lovis of Clark again. I finished primal season two.
SPEAKER_10Good show.
SPEAKER_03Are you could are you are you familiar with the program, Ben? I need to go back to it, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I did season one. Now it looked, it was good.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna tell you something. I've discovered, and no, sorry, Ben, this might be a mild spoiler, but uh Man. You're telling me at the end of season two, Spears' power is he now has three fucking dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_10Oh yeah. Three dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_03I dare any fucking state government to try to stop me if I can control three dinosaurs. You don't get the federal government's help.
SPEAKER_10No, the federal government would be like, look, I got four dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_03I think competently spear and fang with two extra dinosaurs could take four dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_09Probably. You know? I mean, as much as I like Spear and Fang, I think like him and three dinosaurs versus like the US military that get.
SPEAKER_03Not the US military. I said any state government would be unable to stop me if I controlled three dinosaurs. You don't get the federal government's help.
SPEAKER_09Nah, man. The New York State of their own national government. New York State government. The NYPD is a very good thing.
SPEAKER_10Do they have tanks with Mordor tow missiles, baby? The U.S.
SPEAKER_09The NYPD, they've got fucking.
SPEAKER_03I can't take New York, but I could take the rest of them.
SPEAKER_07Um probably not L. I feel like you I feel like you could at least go.
SPEAKER_05You could at least, if not fully take over like your state government, like you'd do some damage because like you hear stories about like that guy who just built a bulldozer.
SPEAKER_07But that's what I was thinking.
SPEAKER_09You can maybe take like Kentucky or some shit. I'm gonna listen to that. But I feel like if we're talking about like Boston, LAPD, Kentucky's got too many guns on their own.
SPEAKER_10Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Sorry, go ahead, bro.
SPEAKER_09I mean, that's just the fucking that's the people. They would see like just some ragtag band people with a dinosaur, and they might, yeah, they might be on your side. But if we're talking about the government, you can never take it.
SPEAKER_03Ben, say your thing before I prove my point.
SPEAKER_05Because my thing was like, you know, you usually hear people talk about like bears and how, like, oh, you know, nine mil won't take them out and stuff. So if you have like Fang and like some other pretty big dinosaurs, you know, like uh most people's run of the mill, nine mil probably isn't gonna take them out quick.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, you need like special knives to kill bears and shit. Yeah, I feel like you could do some.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah, but they'll take a while to get it.
SPEAKER_03List of states off the dome. I'm 90% confident I could take over two dinosaurs, three dinosaurs. California. California.
SPEAKER_09Oh, LAPD, no. I would just actually, first of all, I have the benefit.
SPEAKER_03I also get to strategize too. So not only do I have three dinosaurs, but I get to strategize. First thing I do. What are you what are you who do you who are you? Light Yagami?
SPEAKER_04Like what the fuck? All right. First thing I do.
SPEAKER_03First thing I would do, I don't know. I would start a wildfire.
SPEAKER_09I mean, that's not hard to do in California. Exactly. So boom.
SPEAKER_03Thing one, bam. All the resources drained. Fire, three dinosaurs running around. I think I got that.
SPEAKER_07And you can come out of the fire to get it.
SPEAKER_03I could take both Dakotas at the same time.
SPEAKER_07Well, no, you know what you could do, especially with like the Cali wildfires. That's fucking cold as fuck. They'd go to like broomiation or some shit.
SPEAKER_03I'll just not attack Dakota during the fucking winter.
SPEAKER_05Well, I feel like you could use the Cali wildfires as a distraction. They'd be like, oh yeah, business as usual. Let's go take care of that. And then you attacked three dinosaurs show up. Yeah, exactly. You attack where they're not at. Alright, I could take both. I would still say the other, though.
SPEAKER_03Both fucking Dakotas. I could take both Dakotas. I could take New Jersey. Detroit. Why wouldn't you want New Jersey? I could take Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_10What's in Wisconsin? Nothing. Who cares? Exactly. That's why you can take them.
SPEAKER_03I could take Hawaii. Easy. Hawaii would be fucked. Hawaii against three dinosaurs. They couldn't handle one fire. Let alone three dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_10That's what I'm saying. And they push you into the river. I don't know. I go out into the overall. The level name you have is pretty whack.
SPEAKER_03I think you don't understand how much people would freak out if you just chucked three fucking dinosaurs somewhere.
SPEAKER_08Oh yeah, they'd be screaming.
SPEAKER_03Do you know how many people just wouldn't believe you right off the bat? I wouldn't fucking believe that. Bryce came to me and was like, did you hear about the three dinosaur attack and both they took South Dakota? I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up, dude.
SPEAKER_09Get going with that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say 20 guys with average, let's go, just in- One well-armed fucking police precinct, and you're done. I'm gonna be real. Three dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_09LAPD, NYPD, Chicago PD. You're fine.
SPEAKER_03Alright, look, I said I'd lose against those, but I could take Hawaii. I could fucking take uh both Dakotas. Um Texas is hit or miss. I feel like you can have a. You could have a bazooka in Texas. I wonder if you're gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_10Same in Tennessee, you can own a minigun. I can't take Tennessee.
SPEAKER_03Okay, you're gonna tell me I can't take Dan Barry, Connecticut.
SPEAKER_10I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I'd fuck Connecticut up with three dinosaurs.
SPEAKER_10I'm just saying most National Guard units have access to Bradleys.
SPEAKER_03What's a Bradley?
SPEAKER_10It's a fucking tank. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03One okay, look. A tank that they put a little fucking thing that ram stuff. Two dinosaurs could take one of those.
SPEAKER_10It doesn't ram stuff. It's got like a giant a big ass can. Alright, look at hold on. What does it have like the defense force of a smaller?
SPEAKER_03What is the tank they used that Steven Segal had that puppy killed with?
SPEAKER_10I don't fucking know. I don't follow Steven Segal and his puppy murder.
SPEAKER_09I would need you're gonna need to give me more than that. Is this a movie or is this real life? This is real life. He murdered a puppy. Was this in a movie, but a puppy died in the making of it? They said it was real life. It was real life. Steven Segal lawman. Okay. Lawman. Okay.
SPEAKER_03I think he killed a puppy with a tank. It might not have been 100% Steven Seagall's fault, but he was there.
SPEAKER_09I already knew Steven Segall was an asshole. I didn't need another one.
SPEAKER_03See, he's literally the worst person ever. I feel like you could have a big thing. He's like the worst fucking person ever, and like uh I hate that guy.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, they're definitely worse people.
SPEAKER_03I think tangibly, out of people I think I could realistically bump into randomly.
SPEAKER_10He's probably one of the worst ones.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Had he not fled to Russia?
SPEAKER_10Wait, Steven Sigolfier?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's like he he uh because of all that bullshit he pulled here, where if he comes back, there's a pretty big chance he'd be fucking prosecuted. He fled to Russia and uh now is a Russian citizen claiming work as uh uh Russian ambassador for with US relations.
SPEAKER_10I'm gonna have to look that up later.
SPEAKER_03Look it up. Steven Seagal, baby. The czar.
SPEAKER_09I found something. I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't some other fucking heinous shit that he did. I think that he's only no shit.
SPEAKER_03No, the other heinous shit he's done multiple times. This only happened once.
SPEAKER_09Okay. Uh so there was a raid, and there was an 11-month-year-old puppy that uh the owner claimed was shot and killed during the raid. Uh they failed to fire file court order paperwork after his attorney withdrew from the case, and the lawsuit was dismissed in January 2013. Uh, and then there's other accusations of someone accusing Seagal of sexually harassing them.
SPEAKER_03That has nothing to do with killing a puppy. That poor puppy got away. I mean, it was just the same pair. The poor puppy got sexually assaulted. There was uh yeah, Steve. Uh I yeah, I always like the story about like him with Jean-Claude Van Damme. You fuck him up.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, well, I mean one knows how to fight and the other's an idiot.
SPEAKER_03Well, we're hang on, you gotta understand though, he's still like 6'6. Like, no, we're talking big guy. We're talking prime versus prime. I don't think Van Damme's that tall. No, but I feel like Van Damme's only a little taller than me.
SPEAKER_10He's faster.
SPEAKER_03Faster. And that's what that's and has an actual fight record.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I would say she, yeah, sheer talent. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_10Al Bundy wins.
SPEAKER_03Al Bundy?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Oh, the guy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, he is. He's like, but yeah, isn't he in karate or something?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, but he's got like a huge fucking fight record and is like Is it yeah, but hang on, hang on, hang on.
SPEAKER_03Is it like is it point karate?
SPEAKER_10Nah, he'd like go to Brazil and win championships.
SPEAKER_03Alright, that's different. Yeah, that's different. I think that if I could have a wish or like, nah, because I have better things to wish for. If I had like 75 wishes that I could just blow through, and I start really like hurting.
SPEAKER_09Damn, that's pretty greedy. Fucking 75.
SPEAKER_03I'm getting to the point that I'm gonna.
SPEAKER_09Okay, alright, alright.
SPEAKER_03I feel like if I had 75 wishes that I could just blow through. When you start to get to wish like 30, you're really gonna be like hurting for things to wish for.
SPEAKER_10Probably. You know what I mean? I mean, then you're just wishing for dumb shit like, man, I wish I had my slippers on. I left them upstairs. Nah, fuck that.
SPEAKER_03I would never waste a wish on something that stupid.
SPEAKER_10You're at wish 30, you don't care.
SPEAKER_03No, what I would wish for at wish 30 would be that Yeah, you've still got like 40 more wishes. Doesn't matter. I think I I would be so like I'd be so those 75 wishes would last me like 10 years. I'd be so fucking. However, when I'm really hurting for stuff to wish for, and if I was like just hammered in my room, I'd be like, man, I just wish that like all the martial arts worked.
SPEAKER_10That's a good one. That would be cool. I'm glad that early. You just wish all of them worked. Yeah. They were effective and reasonable.
SPEAKER_05I feel like you know, yeah. That would be cool, but then you'd also miss out on like the little YouTube montages of like fake masters getting their ass whooped, you know?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, but then I could also potentially see these fate commanders just like absolutely brutalizing bullshit and going on raids.
SPEAKER_09It would be kind of yeah, but imagine you get Steven Segull shit, basically.
SPEAKER_03Steven Segal is a little bit already in a way living for Chrys who knows nothing about Steven Segull. He's actually a legitimate like fourth degree black belt in a keto.
SPEAKER_10Which is you know, like an actual martial art.
SPEAKER_03It's a real martial art. It's just it's is it's about as effective as like Tai Chi or Capoeira. Like, they're just less.
SPEAKER_09I mean, yeah, he may be a master, but he's also fucking more fraud. Tai Chi's less effective. He's also a fucking fraud because they'll have videos of him like touching guys like this that like could very clearly you could see these guys could absolutely.
SPEAKER_03Why are you really trying to sell to us that we don't like Steve? We all agree Steven Segal sucks. I'm just saying solely on the fact of this wish that I wish that, yes, if you did, because you know who was an Aquito master? Nina Williams. Ben doesn't know who that is, but he nodded like he did, and I took a little offense to that.
SPEAKER_09I'm sorry. Dead or alive?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_09No, that's Tekken. It is, but I've heard who is Anina Williams, but she's a she's a fighter in Tekken. What'd she look like?
SPEAKER_10She's got dark hair.
SPEAKER_09Oh, god damn it. Okay, she's the okay, yeah. She's the one in the red, the red dress.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. Anna Williams, you fucking idiots. I got it.
SPEAKER_09Oh, yeah, she's the blonde in the purple.
SPEAKER_04She's the blonde in the purple. Fucking it. Brando, you though, you. Literally you.
SPEAKER_10I only have eyes for a blonde French girl in that game.
SPEAKER_03Ah, yeah, okay. Lily. Yeah, Lily kicks ass. Tekken kicks ass. I don't know if anybody's ever thought that before.
SPEAKER_05It's a lot of fun. I should play more Tekken. It's pretty good. I bought Tekken 8, played some in the beginning, and then fell off it. I need to go back.
SPEAKER_03I watched some guy, uh, his whole thing was making fun of you based on your Tekken characters you play as.
SPEAKER_10And he was just like, Dude, they I heard they added Bob back.
SPEAKER_03About time.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, it took so long.
SPEAKER_09He's a DLC.
SPEAKER_03Go ahead, Bryce.
SPEAKER_09I heard that uh Mortal Kombat 2, the movie was pretty good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm gonna see it this weekend.
SPEAKER_09Ooh, nice. Yeah, I'm pretty pumped about it. Oh, wait. I might, ooh, I would be willing to maybe go see that in theaters. I'm seeing this. While you're trying to invite yourself to my plan this weekend, I might just I don't know. Depending on timing, I might bring it in here.
SPEAKER_03Guys, you we cannot have two fucking separate conversations. It's not how the format of this will work. It'll sound ridiculous. Bryce can edit it. It'll be fun. Yeah, Bryce, separate the conversations.
SPEAKER_10I finished my thoughts, so there was um Today I learned Bryce has thoughts that finish.
SPEAKER_03Wait, wait, Bryce, you want to tell us why you don't like Steven Segal a little bit more?
SPEAKER_09Nah, I'm done.
SPEAKER_03Alright, alright. Alright. I'm fucking oh god damn.
SPEAKER_09The bit was over.
SPEAKER_03What was um damn, I thought I had some sort of uh I thought you had something right here. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with me today, man.
SPEAKER_09Oh man, I'm kind of stroking off. Stroking off.
SPEAKER_10What are you stroking off, Bryce? And puppy on the couch with three dudes. You can't be stroking off. You're stroking off on the couch.
SPEAKER_05That's a really good thing.
SPEAKER_09You're telling me this beef was stroking off?
SPEAKER_10You know, honestly delicious.
SPEAKER_03Did I have some Lambrogan Josh yesterday?
SPEAKER_09Delicious.
SPEAKER_03It was delicious.
SPEAKER_09I'd eat Josh every day. Me fucking too. I had some buttered chicken recently. Butter chicken's pretty good.
SPEAKER_03You know what I like to do? I like to put a whole ass stick of butter on just a chicken breast. Just watch it. See if it does anything.
SPEAKER_09I got um certainly doing some of your arteries. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I got uh I got this uh thing coming in the mail. They have a graphic uh novel adaptation of the I was telling you exactly what it was. What is it? It's not Barkira. I would kill for Barkira.
SPEAKER_05It's not more hentai, is it?
SPEAKER_03I do see it like, look, if I have nothing left to lose and it's still $85, I will buy Barkira.
SPEAKER_10One day, if I have a lot of money.
SPEAKER_03It's been finished for like 10 years. I'm just like, there's only I'm gonna look up Barkira physical copy. Last time I saw one was like $95.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah. Maybe they did a lot of things. That would be a good that would be like a good birthday or Christmas present.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but too bad it's so fucking expensive. I wouldn't even ask you. We should all get one. That's fair. We should all get one for each other. That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_10Everybody gets uh Bark Kira for birthday. Just one birthday, everybody gets a Barkira. Yeah. Oh, that's Barkira. We'll just call we'll make a call.
SPEAKER_03Oh I need to rewatch Akira a day. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_09What is it? Like 85 bucks.
SPEAKER_03Okay, the cheapest I see is 112. Let's look at this on eBay. Let's see.
SPEAKER_09I mean, isn't the series actually pretty long?
SPEAKER_03It's just akira. They just changed.
SPEAKER_09I know it's Akira, but the books, like the manga series, is longer than the movie. Yeah, there is. Oh, there is.
SPEAKER_03It came out after the movie. Yeah, but the movie came first.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, and then they adapted it. They made a manga. It's the same guy wrote it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I see. I didn't know that. Alright, let's see. Right here. Yeah, I'm seeing like this one's $287. And it's a hardcover.
SPEAKER_09The story's kind of different though, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03See these fucking reviews. All of them have five-star reviews. There's no way. Yeah, of course. Yeah, if I had a bunch of fucking money. Okay, guys, if we ever make any money doing this fucking podcast. We'll all get Barkeers. We'll all get Barqueers and we'll all do a live stream episode of us playing the uh uh Family Guy Darts where when you hit the dart board.
SPEAKER_09Man, I thought you were gonna say like play hit and run or something.
SPEAKER_10How about we do a Futurama themed event?
SPEAKER_03Fine.
SPEAKER_10I I feel like we'll all fare better.
SPEAKER_03That's fine, but I don't think Futurama ever had enough cultural relevance to do scene it Futurama.
SPEAKER_10Probably did.
SPEAKER_03I don't think so.
SPEAKER_09Oh scene absolutely has enough relevance.
SPEAKER_03You're out of your fucking minds. There was no scene it version or even that Family Guy trivia game version of the game. Futurama's merch is fucking lacking. That's where the video game is $385 fucking dollars. Because they didn't make that many of them.
SPEAKER_09No, because it's a fucking collector's item.
SPEAKER_03Because they didn't make that many of them. You know how much hit and run goes for? Like twenty bucks.
SPEAKER_09Yeah. Well, one is the fucking Simpsons, though. Because they made a bunch of the games and there's a bunch of them. made made a bunch of the redheaded stepchild of Fox that didn't have that much merch or games at all.
SPEAKER_03Come on.
SPEAKER_10You would have killed for a Zoiberg action.
SPEAKER_03I would have fucking killed for a fucking for a fucking nibbler plushie. But that's just not the world we live in. Futurama's merch is trash. That's why there's not that much shit.
SPEAKER_09There's probably just seven but they didn't give it oxygen because Fox was just expecting another fucking second got five fucking chances. It did.
SPEAKER_04It got five fucking chances. I don't need to hear you you're just wrong at this one. It didn't give it time to breathe the show came back like four fucking times. There's still no future you're missing what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_09Go ahead. Hang on real quick. So when they bought when Fox greenlit Futurama they're like this is going to be another Simpsons. But that was not what Futurama was going to be. And when the Futurama wasn't another Simpsons they're like fuck it. Like Futurama did not air like basically no one knew what like the Futurama was on when it was on on Fox. Like they would have fucking scores the first episode the moment it aired.
SPEAKER_03Also where was the merch when it came back the first time and the second time and the third time DVDs and then they stopped doing that for a while.
SPEAKER_05I feel like they should have put out more merch.
SPEAKER_04Because what didn't Hulu do like a newer season this is their fifth chance and it just got cancelled before that I don't think they got canceled.
SPEAKER_05Before that when they had like the the ending you would think that would have been the time to like bring actual merchant that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03No merch. And by the way I did look it up the closest thing I could find is a Futurama trivia quiz game book which I don't really count that as well. I mean you could still have fun you just get a third party to read look we can do the Futurama trivia quiz book game but it is not the same as the fucking thing I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_10I say we pay someone with a really deep voice to read all the questions and I gotta just you know fuck that we'll just call Billy West. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We'll ask Billy West to read all the things in Fry's voice and then he will be on the podcast and then be the new third Mike. You know we'll rotate out who's not on the pod anymore. There was um but yeah I make my case you know five times five shots nothing happened no futurama merch.
SPEAKER_05Yeah movies on DVD there's no rage baiting it's an accurate statement and Ben's up with me on this he said he feels like if the time for merch were to come it'd probably be around like it was like well what's which season was it the one where like Fry and Leela finally got together and were old and and like you know started over again seven yeah because like that was that was the when it was over for the longest period of time until they brought it back.
SPEAKER_09Yeah because at that was the best ending.
SPEAKER_05At that time I was like oh man Futurama's over now I would have bought merch at that time. Yeah that would have been the prime time to do it money. Yeah.
SPEAKER_09It's not like you know Zoyberg action figure I'm sure they have merch but it was always more niche than the biggest or family or family guy which always we need a bender head that dispenses booze.
SPEAKER_03Yeah or Pez flavored beer or beer flavored Pez, I guess is what I meant to say.
SPEAKER_10Actually I think there was Futurama Pez. Yeah I think there sounds about right yeah I'm pretty sure they had Pez dispensers back a Futurama merch.
SPEAKER_03We're upset though Pez still exist if I could have any piece of fucking Futurama merch I would want one of them voice box things.
SPEAKER_10No I want a Pez dispenser.
SPEAKER_03Just a Futurama Pez dispenser or any sort of Pez dispenser. I don't know I'm still debating what kind I have we have to look at the library at some point we oh my god the the Pez like Imagine to being the guy that owns every Pez dispenser in the world if you would have a Pez. You could just you would need three houses for all the Pez.
SPEAKER_10And you just have big ass like a warehouse to keep all the candies to stock them I kind of wish they made you know you keep them full and then change them out when all the candy goes rotten out of all the dumb shit that they make in life I would you know what I'd vibe for what's a what's a product you're pitching me a product something strange shark tank.
SPEAKER_03You want me to give you an example of my product? Sure go Pez flavored soda I pass. Did you even have the warhead soda?
SPEAKER_10No I passed okay well that doesn't so no you no no I'm not investing in either of these okay well one exists. Yeah it was probably bad.
SPEAKER_03What was wrong with the fucking co uh the the uh the uh Kool-Aid soda why did that need to be a soda do you I think you're missing the point of all right Brando's not an interesting soda guy he's not interested in soda unless it's horserad marinara soda that's the only fucking type of thing that sounds terrible and disgusting but I'd try it. Alright Ben where do you sit on Pez flavored soda?
SPEAKER_05Also I prefer just chip flavors I'd probably try Pez flavored soda but I'm still mad that Wawa got rid of uh coffee and coke. The coffee cokes were very good coffee flavored Coke? No it was Coke flavored coffee. Yeah no no it was I guess you could it was coffee flavored coke like it had it was coke with a bit of coffee in it it was yeah it's popular in Japan and I remember a few summers ago they tried it in Wawa and then it was going to be Wa they had it at Walmart's and shit too.
SPEAKER_03Really? You could actually buy like a six pack of them. Damn it no one advertised this dude I that's a lie I remember exactly the day that you found out you had this because I got two of them at Wawa. Oh yeah they were bad. And I was eating a slim gym and then I asked if anybody wanted a chal of my slim gym. Yeah the chal of the slim gym decent decent the coffee coke I didn't like it. I think I in actually in defense of you not liking it I did get the caramel one which is bad.
SPEAKER_10Yeah I just don't drink soda that often but I drank way too much rain.
SPEAKER_03Bryce where do you sit at Pez flavored soda? Where are you at on this? I'd try it. Okay. So that's so I'm getting invested on Pezaultown as a soda.
SPEAKER_04I try it that doesn't mean I didn't invest in it necessarily I think Pez flavored soda is the way you get don't have two fucking conversations on the goddamn podcast when there's more of us no you fucking just listen to people talkable when you talk to you anyway so Pez flavored soda Brando get a pitch something ridiculous.
SPEAKER_09Seat cushions for your couch that are a toilet that's dump while you marathon your shows they're mostly designed no that's the fucking Wally shit no they're designed when they're drawn not for home use Molly I'm like what is Wally they're not for home use they're for the luxury boxes at sporting events. I just would not want to sit in that no that that would that you just shit in a couch while watching it So what just you'd be just sitting in your own filth like a Harkonan or some shit? That's what rich people want. No that's a hard Harkonans? Yes that's what rich people I mean I feel like I feel like we're not far off you had me on the personal couches if it's at like luxury box.
SPEAKER_05I mean luxury boxes sure not as many people they're gonna take care of them better.
SPEAKER_10I guess I feel like they're maybe it has a lot of features.
SPEAKER_03If there's one crossover I think rich people and poor people have in society is I think that rich people and poor people have equal amounts of diarrhea. There's no fucking way I want to be doing a luxury fucking skybox. Yes if they're eating elephants and seals and shit I'm assuming they have more diarrhea equal diarrhea if somebody eats Chipotle I think rich people and poor people also more likely to do hard drugs. Agreed agreed 100% 100% 100% so Brando your idea is terrible there sounds disgusting you know what I would go for though? Air conditioned seat. Why not heating and cooling seat I think that's like we're in a car I don't think they have cooling I think they only heat there's probably a cooling one out there.
SPEAKER_05I feel like the cooling one would Ben go invent it make us rich Brandon probably smart smart enough yeah smart enough smart enough I'm more of an advisor kind of guy I'm more of an idea man I kind of just have happy accidents.
SPEAKER_03Ben what are you pitching? Brando's idea was terrible I can't believe Brando had the audacity tell me Pez soda was bad and then he said shitting in your own chair is a better idea. What the fuck are we talking about? I mean you couldn't I'd make a lot of money with very little money no you would make money from people who get fused to their own couch. Yeah but then how would they call them whales?
SPEAKER_05It's true they do call them whales I was kind of feeling like uh you know cooling uh sandals you know for the summertime but then I started thinking about like you know those like little sea people packets or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I I started thinking about like those but like little sharks and they grow into like little sharks and you feed them little fish and so where we need to like genetically modify sharks to be tiny and cute and they live in your sandals? No no no well that becomes the 90s unless we get shoes with little sharks in them. Even better.
SPEAKER_09Oh so like teacup pigs but sharks I was originally thinking of just pet little shark but he he he he made it better with like shoes that made me think of that one flash game where you played at a played as a fish in like a pond and you would have to eat fish and get bigger and bigger but avoid the bigger fish. I think I've seen that eventually you eat the bigger fish. And then become the bigger at a I feel like there would always be someone like a fish.
SPEAKER_03Yes exactly much like Phantom Menace there was always be a bigger fish because otherwise I like Ben's idea it's way better than shitting in your own chair so uh yes Bryce what's what's your what's your idea for Shark Tank I'm trying to think uh I'm calling it I'm not just saying because it's my idea pez flavored soda is the most practical fucking invention on this one.
SPEAKER_05If Ben wants to fuck with nature Brandon wants to not move and shit because see then you can be like your own little bond villain in your apartment with your pet shark in your water bowl or shitting on your cat shitting on your cat real life poke balls where you can tame wild animals.
SPEAKER_10That's pretty good that would be cool pretty good wild animals you say I still think we need to make a real life Pokedex that identifies every plant and animal tells you its behavior what it's used for and whether it's poisonous oh yeah that would be shit for decades.
SPEAKER_03Imagine that's how you like discover like because they find like seven new snakes a year which is crazy to me that we haven't just found all of them yet.
SPEAKER_07And then I mean we're still finding shit everywhere on your phone.
SPEAKER_05That would be pretty cool I don't know I feel like it'd be kind of cool to have like because people well here's the thing people are missing like dedicated devices so I feel like it'd be kind of I agree with Ben on that statement.
SPEAKER_03100% the fact that I could play Final Fantasy X on my phone upsets me a little bit.
SPEAKER_10You know but that's just my I had COTOR1 on my phone like a decade ago.
SPEAKER_03That's what I'm saying. Like it's just times have changed there's that one country song where he's like the future's coming that I got it on my phone or something.
SPEAKER_10The day I grew up in is gone.
SPEAKER_09Yeah he's like wow dude that was really touching right like wait are you referencing the Bob Dylan song or I'm referencing the Simpsons. I was referencing an actual country song you you said the times they are changing and then reference a completely different song like times they are changing is Bob Dylan like what?
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah Bob Dylan came up with the concept of the times changing sorry guys I didn't really think I need to give it I mean lyrics come on bro he did patent that yeah oh sorry I forgot I guess time didn't change to how much but you said the times they are changing and then talk about a completely different song.
SPEAKER_09That's like I mean it's you literally used a lyric.
SPEAKER_03Yeah I don't think I don't think that's how that happened. I just didn't know Bob Dylan owned an entire ass fucking phrase it's crazy.
SPEAKER_05I didn't think that you know you know what it is you wanna you know what actually is crazy I'm not making this up everyone's not gonna fucking believe me when I say this it's fucking wild no one's gonna fucking believe me okay uh the phrase bucketless didn't exist until that movie Bucketless that was a great movie and then there was a look it up there was even a tone of it with Queen Latifa last holiday which was also good we're big Queen Latifa defenders here on this podcast I can believe that because I was gonna say what did why are we defenders I could believe the bucketless thing because you know people didn't talk about idiocracy till that movie came out now you know you have people like oh we're living in an idiocracy now Bryce's about to look fucking silly movie Whoa look at that face change he knows I'm fucking right no the term bucket list was coined in 1999 by American screenwriter Justin Zuckin.
SPEAKER_09Who wrote the movie Bucketlist but he coined it before the movie came out the book came out before the movie oh okay fine whatever but I'm just saying he popularized it the movie the bucket list the phrase is a direct play on the centuries old idiom kick the bucket hilarious though that like it still wasn't that long what kicking the bucket is a reference to hanging yourself.
SPEAKER_03Oh because you gotta kick the bucket yeah damn consumer still wasn't that still wasn't that long ago though 1990 granted it was like 58 years ago was just not that long ago still not that long ago no 1990 wasn't 58 years ago I said like everyone takes numbers too fucking seriously your sister was born then so I don't think she's 58. Your sister's like 47 you know give or take no it is weird to think that um no I'm not falling for this fucking stupid ass trap of people being like isn't it weird purple ketchup was a thing and now it's just like not I'm like no I think is it weird that I used to know someone who would put purple butter on their pizza purple butter I'd say yeah every word of that sentence is bizarre.
SPEAKER_10It does have bizarre I don't remember the purple butter I I feel like they did the colored everything and it was all around the times Shrek came out squeeze butter yeah squeeze butter in a tube that was dyed colored I'm fucking I am a spray butter bougie guy myself spray butter is pretty nice butter I gotta have that square you know you cut that nice thick square butter in a nice chunk of it dude this is like I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a little bit more little squares put that shit on pancakes I would never really consider myself an incredibly lazy person but like for a long time in life the things that I was lazy about was a hundred percent the necessary means of like how you eat food.
SPEAKER_03So I would never cut my steak up it just bother you just fork it fork it lob it up same with the choke you just roll the dice. Did you ever do the the sandwich you didn't put together you got all the ingredients of a sandwich on a plate and you just eat them oh so you just like the green because the idea of just eating raw bread when the fixings are right there is psychotic.
SPEAKER_10I've done it because I'm psychotic.
SPEAKER_03That's yeah no I can't I can't look I there's been times I've decided Frank from always sunny are like this.
SPEAKER_10There's been times sometimes you're hung over and you're like eh I'm going up you just the raw bread though.
SPEAKER_03That's the one that honestly upsets me. I'm laughing because I got a story for that.
SPEAKER_09So go ahead and raw bread it's just sliced bread.
SPEAKER_05It's raw bread I forget where it was where it was at the show and uh uh I was pretty drunk and uh I know at least I think Paul and Eric and I went to Wawa and I ordered a burger and then uh it was it came back plain and I was like oh what the fuck and then like Paul was like go oh go in there and complain but then I I realized I was like oh wait no I just didn't select the ingredients so I played it off I was like nah it's fine it's fine I wanted this like you were just so ripped you just ordered just a plane I was I was just talking to Eric and drunk and just yeah I just kept hitting skip just like not thinking about it.
SPEAKER_03Honestly because I had that the other the other day I was like give him the burger with nothing in the fucking morning and there was a call like a nothing burger as a kid. I was coming home at like three in the morning and there was a car that was just in front of me and I was just you know my new favorite thing in life is man distracted driving is great. So I just wasn't paying attention and then uh that's when you hit that little girl and I look yeah that's when I that's one of the machinists I was gonna say well you are yeah but uh I hit like uh I'm at a I'm at a fuck shut the fuck up and let me finish tell the goddamn story I don't even want it anymore moving on how far in are we about 39 minutes 39 fucking minutes hot damn there's still 40 more minutes for you to tell that story I'm not telling the story it's not fucking worth it and I'll never care it's not out it's not for you it's not for you because you're eat too busy talking about stories about eating individual ingredients of a cake or some dumb shit and trying to do it then you had to interrupt there was no you were fucking done the thing hit it so we weren't even they were moved completely away from your fucking thing with Ben's failure at ordering food. Yeah we were talking about that's true and then I was talking about a time that was suddenly was your fault not yours specifically but um everyone excited together there was a Josh blames the world yeah that's my new sitcom it's gonna be kind of like a Josh probably versus the world no I think it would just be that but it'd just be a shot for shot remake of home improvement and it just be Can I beat Wilson? No not after fucking ruining the story you can't be Wilson.
SPEAKER_08You could be not even Al you could be the son that becomes goth it's kind of old to be a son Dad Dad what do you want I just discovered a golden money I feel like the mic might pick that up.
SPEAKER_03Pick up this yes it definitely will that's very squeaky maybe it does maybe it doesn't I can see the I don't know maybe I can stop maybe why don't you put it up to the mic so they know what we're talking about just in case it doesn't this is just for me. It's kind of annoying could you please it's only annoying it was not annoying nobody even fucking noticed till Brando said something. Bryce is going to try to steal Valor and say he knew it was no he didn't he said something after you said something what did I say you said that's Mike's probably gonna pick that up you know I said that no he said it was annoying and then I said it was gonna get picked up so I still don't know what you guys said.
SPEAKER_05I I don't know what you guys are talking about. I didn't hear anything fucking gaslighting oh damn you must have heard something outside I don't know so what's your guys' favorite Pokemon uh fucking Jigglypuff muck I knew this how about you Ben I don't know that it used to be like Mewtwo but now I've I've settled I've settled down as a man I love Gengar.
SPEAKER_03Gengar's great he used to be my favorite did you guys ever hear about that scandal where like just for some reason at like a Pokemon event there was just a Gengar named the N-word that got sent to a bunch of people and they're like we honestly don't know how that happened. You know what that makes me fuck with them more my Gengar me and Ben were talking about this if uh if it's appropriate for Shadow the Hedgehog to use the N-word.
SPEAKER_05Yes right no yeah we were talking I you know I I'd be fine with it I think his is a little cringier than Knuckles. Because we talked about this where it's like well you know can he or can he not he has black fur but under there he's like you know white as fuck. Doesn't matter but it's like a brown is he beige from Uganda though so you knuckles Uganda Knuckles I hated Uganda Knuckles I was gonna say I didn't understand what it was at all.
SPEAKER_03Like I didn't understand like any of it.
SPEAKER_09I mean that's I just like that's how on VR chat with it.
SPEAKER_05That is pretty funny I do like uh I think we talked about two like you know I think if Sonic could say it and then we'd you know it'd be like what I thought it was cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah I think that's pretty well shadow says it shadows that would be 100% yeah that's it's perfect Sonic that's not cool that's no that's not your word Sonic it was like but we're both hedgehogs they are both hedgehogs we're both the same color under the first shadow come on it's kind of crazy to think that in the Sonic the hedgehog universe like 70% of them are fucking hedgehogs. Yeah and then the rest are just not really hedgehogs. What is Tails?
SPEAKER_10Tails is a fox that makes sense he looks like a fox. What is Amy though a hedgehog I was wondering what Amy was the other day I will say it every time we bring up uh Sonic I thought Tails was a girl for like 10 years. His name is Miles Powers probably know that I forgot about that. Wait they have names that aren't that are human sound no Tails is just a nickname.
SPEAKER_05All the other ones are actually named that is like the only one who's in the world because he's like the whitest character in the universe is maybe as deep lore as he used to be a human and then got injected with fox DNA.
SPEAKER_08That's actually like he was fucking Dr.
SPEAKER_09He's Dr.
SPEAKER_03Robotnik's son until an experiment went horribly wrong making him have two tails instead of one so he was always a fox but like now he gained more it's like a real cow and chicken type situation.
SPEAKER_09Somewhere someone's like who's really deep into Sonic the Hedgehog lord they're all fucking wrong Amy is not a hedgehog which he is I looked it up.
SPEAKER_03She's also twelve fucking Amy Amy's twelve which was weird because Knuckles feels like he's like twenty six. Yeah he does I think he's like fucking fourteen I think I think tails is Like eight. I feel really tails is a little bit more.
SPEAKER_05I feel like it's hard to like picture any of them as like a certain age. Like Tails invents things and stuff.
SPEAKER_10Hedgehog ears are way different from human ears.
SPEAKER_05Exactly.
SPEAKER_03I think an eight-year-old hedgehog would be like a 42-year-old man. How fucking long your hedgehog is?
SPEAKER_10Probably something like that. Probably. That's a give or take a reason to hedgehog.
SPEAKER_03What kind of animal that like if you had to be around like an infestation of, would you be okay with? Because I pick either chinchillas or ferrets.
SPEAKER_10Iguanas.
SPEAKER_03I think I could deal with a ferret infestation.
SPEAKER_10Josh's.
SPEAKER_03Infestation of me's would be a lot.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, but it would be funny.
SPEAKER_03It'd be funny. Till you heard the same story again. I'd do that anyway. And then again.
SPEAKER_05Do you know how loud that room would be? I would get pretty tired.
SPEAKER_07But I feel like I don't know.
SPEAKER_05I've grown up around them long enough where it'd be fine, but if it was a whole bunch of little dogs.
SPEAKER_03There's a dog there?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I never knew that.
SPEAKER_05It's like, you know, yeah, big.
SPEAKER_10I could do an infestation of little dogs, but not medium or large dogs.
SPEAKER_05I'm the opposite. I can't do an infestation of little dogs. I feel like they're almost more annoying. Like you have an infestation of chihuahuas? Chihuahuas. They are annoying, but they're ignorable.
SPEAKER_10A big dog you can't really ignore.
SPEAKER_05You can't, but like you have so like, I mean, a lot of German shepherds would be too much, because too much of big dogs, I don't know, but they're sweet.
SPEAKER_08There's chihuahuas, it's easy to say. Yeah, there's a lot of store and just go away.
SPEAKER_03I'm confident that like I could probably take like 150 chihuahuas in a fight. So the investigation of like chihuahuas wouldn't be that bad. Oh, well, yeah.
SPEAKER_09If you gotta do that, how this always devolves into like the step brothers type scenario where you're just fighting just an army of just you name it in this case, chihuahuas.
SPEAKER_03Uh I what how many chihuahuas do you think you could confidently take in a fight?
SPEAKER_10No, I like 50 at least.
SPEAKER_03I said 150.
SPEAKER_10Are you kidding me? I mean, I feel like at that point that just the sheer weight of them is a lot. I feel like at least a hundred. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Kill at least four of them falling over. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_09You'd probably kill at least if you've really tried. Easily a hundred or more, because like you could just very easily just.
SPEAKER_10But I'm thinking like piranhas on land. You get enough of them. It's a problem. I could take three or two. Once they hit a certain point, you're fucked.
SPEAKER_03No, you just stand on the couch and wait for them to die.
SPEAKER_09Piranhas on land? No. Yeah, you're out of your mind. The room in the water, you're fucked. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03You would have to be in a room filled to the brim with piranhas, and you'd suffocate to death. That's the only way I think a bunch of people.
SPEAKER_09Well, if you're thinking if you're in a saw trap, maybe.
SPEAKER_10I'm thinking rabid chihuahuas as if you had if they were piranhas on land. Like they're trying to eat. Oh, I see what you're saying.
SPEAKER_03I see what you're saying. 150.
SPEAKER_09Uh Ravage.
SPEAKER_03Maybe, maybe 125.
SPEAKER_09I'd say bare minimum 100. Steel tip boots on or something?
SPEAKER_03I mean, do you wear steel tip boots? No, you get what you got on. I wouldn't say now, let's because I would get be fucked right now.
SPEAKER_10You get like you get to go home, you get 60 minutes to prepare.
SPEAKER_03I would okay, then 275 chihuahuas.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_0365. No, 342.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah. If I had 60 minutes to prepare, do you just have what's on your back, or can you prepare when you're going to be able to do it? No, you get the bigger one. Oh, okay, then yeah, easily like 150 to 200. I'm not walking this way. A thousand.
SPEAKER_10How much ammo do you got?
SPEAKER_03I got uh I got eight shotgun shells, and I think that could take if I'm in a room filled with fucking chihuahuas, that would probably kill a bunch of them. It would get a lot of them.
SPEAKER_09No Chihuahuas were harmed in the recording of this video.
SPEAKER_03Except the one to prove a point.
SPEAKER_09You just have the No. Um and then I have- Also my favorite Pokemon is Skepta.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, nobody asked. Sorry.
SPEAKER_09I've already I've said it before. We've both said it. We've both said it before. Multiple times.
SPEAKER_03And then Ben says Gengar because he says the N-word. Hell yeah. Yeah, Ben. He is. I mean, when do we uh how far in do we get before we uh tell an embarrassing childhood story?
SPEAKER_10I mean, it's only 48 minutes.
SPEAKER_03What do we save that for? How often uh we do when Ben's here.
SPEAKER_10Do we have a formula for Ben?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, every time he's been here, we tell an embarrassing childhood story. Remember last time Eric was here, he talked about getting impaled during a production of Bye Bye Birdie? That's awesome.
SPEAKER_09I didn't even remember that. Yeah, he ran into a spike. Was I there for that? Yes. You were there for him telling the story, yes.
SPEAKER_03No. No, I was on tour.
SPEAKER_09Oh, that's what did I tell last time?
SPEAKER_10I don't remember. Now I want to hear this Eric story. I gotta ask him about it next time.
SPEAKER_03You have to ask him about how he got the scar on his shoulder.
SPEAKER_10No, I'll just be like, yo, tell me the bye-bye birdie story. I heard you got impaired.
SPEAKER_09I love I love how your Eric voice is the same as your me voice.
SPEAKER_03Well, you know.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, you know, you're the same class kind of just uh just you do like a bad squid word.
SPEAKER_03It's not my fault that uh most of the never mind. I was gonna somehow worm this into me calling you man dark, but I decided Man Dark?
SPEAKER_09What? I don't know. The fucking fucking Dexter's antagonist. Oh, it's like ha ha ha with the yeah, with that laugh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Damn. I was okay, okay. I was just thinking about this the other day, or actually today specifically. Um that movie, uh the Dexter's lab movie. They have a movie? I didn't know. Yeah, they had a movie. It's actually pretty sick because the plot is like Dexter goes to the future to find himself as his like in his like late teens, early twenties, working as like a desk worker for Mandark. He's like, God, I'm so lame, but Mandark's taking over the future, so then he has to go to the way future, and and then it's like an old senile Dexter. And he's like, I beat him up, but I don't remember how I did it. So then they have to go back to when he's in his mid-30s and he's like fucking fucking awesome. And then all four of them need to go fight. And I'm like, that's a cool power to be able to pull yourself from different time periods, but pulling you from any previous timeline would be stupid.
SPEAKER_09It's like a Doctor Who's special when multiple doctors team up at the end. That's fun. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_03I also like that the movie was called Ego Trip, and it was just about him teaming up with different versions of himself. That's pretty good. I might have to watch that. It was solid. It's pretty good. It's been like 20 years. I don't know if it holds.
SPEAKER_10It might be like slightly racist or something.
SPEAKER_03I don't see how. There's no black people in Dexter's lab. That's how. Does that make it racist, though?
SPEAKER_10I don't think so.
SPEAKER_09I mean, there might I think one black person in Dexter's lab. Action Hank, I think was his name. Alright, yeah, there, yeah. Alright, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Never mind.
SPEAKER_03That was good. That was good.
SPEAKER_04I like how Ben was just like I think he's right on this.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I was just gonna be like, no black people inventory. Were they invented yet?
SPEAKER_09I'll give you that. I mean, oh yeah, there is maybe say Johnny, but I feel like he's just flea.
SPEAKER_03No, no, no. I think Johnny's like Johnny's racially ambiguous.
SPEAKER_10Wait, what show are you on?
SPEAKER_05Ed and Eddie. I wouldn't think of Johnny as black. I don't know, man. No.
SPEAKER_10I think he's just flea as a kid. Flea? He was literally based on like a homeless kid in the writers. Oh, there you go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You could say there's no black people in Mucha Lucha.
SPEAKER_10They're all Mexican.
SPEAKER_03Except Snow P. That guy's white as fuck.
SPEAKER_10Hence the name.
SPEAKER_03I like Snow P. I like Mucha Lucha. Muchelucha was alright. Yeah, that was funny. What was that one? The flea? Yeah, the flea, yeah.
SPEAKER_10Didn't he get his own spin-off and it sucked? That'd be ridiculous. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, he did not.
SPEAKER_10It was like two episodes, probably.
SPEAKER_03I don't think so. I think they probably just did two episodes based on the flea. And fun fact, um, Mucha Lucha for the Game Boy Advance Small Penis has one of the lowest rated games ever. Really? Yes. Worse than the E.T. game? Maybe not as bad as the E.T. game. If we're going console specific, I think if I'm talking for the Game Boy Advance, that is the Mucha Lucha game. Damn. Yeah. Okay. That is a sick theme song. It's a Mucha Lucha. It wasn't a point. Damn, I'm still on that action hang thing. I was so confident. Like, yeah, there's not a single like that. I was like, there's the episode where he kept trying to grow the beard. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yep. What about uh American Dragon Jake Long? Is there any black people in that or have we ever watched it? No, if just any of you liked it.
SPEAKER_03I like the concept of it. But like it was just around. I noticed you put your phone away silently to find out that you were incorrect about the flea thing, weren't you?
SPEAKER_10Was it like Shaolin Showdown? It was I didn't want to count, I didn't want to fucking mention it because I've been looking up a bunch of things today. Wait, we're having separate conversations. I can't remember.
SPEAKER_03Well your conversation sounded more sticky. Bryce uh and uh Brando, you were fucking wrong, and so was Bryce for backing you up. What did I say?
SPEAKER_09From what I could tell, there was not a flea spin-off.
SPEAKER_04There's no Mucha Lucha spin-off in general. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_10Well, they could have done one.
SPEAKER_04It's a ridiculous statement.
SPEAKER_10There was, as I said, at first I said there was one, and then I said maybe there was just two episodes that focused on. That's what I say.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot of, he's one of the main characters. Maybe there was only two episodes. Never had a finishing move. Oh yeah, he didn't have a movie. Never had a fucking finishing move. Nope.
SPEAKER_09Damn.
SPEAKER_03Bryce, what it what was Blaine a Girl's finisher?
SPEAKER_09It was like a bulldozer.
SPEAKER_03I didn't think you'd know. Bryce, what was Rick, uh, not Bryce, uh Brando, what was uh Ricochet's finishing move?
SPEAKER_09No fucking.
SPEAKER_03Ricochet's pulverizing pinball. Yeah.
SPEAKER_09And there was an episode where there was a leprechaun whose name was Rick O'Shea. Yeah, that was that was a good episode. That was a good place.
SPEAKER_03Like, no, it wasn't me. It was Rick O'Shea. Now as an adult, I think that's hilarious. But as a kid, I'm like, I don't understand this. This is a good idea. I don't get this.
SPEAKER_09This this is a linguistic joke that's flying over my head.
SPEAKER_10I just learned language. I barely know English. I barely know how to speak. How do you spell in general? I can spell. Yeah, I still struggle.
SPEAKER_05This is gonna take this in a different direction, but did any of you watch the new Devil May Cry season?
SPEAKER_03No, is it good? I haven't seen the first season.
SPEAKER_05Uh let's just say it's really bad. Uh I wish we're two, both Marissa and I are two episodes away from finishing it. Um, you know the bad guy in uh Devil May Cry 2? His name's Arius, the guy who was like, I was going to be the king! Hang on.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't the guy the bad guy in fucking Devil May Cry 2 like some Pijachi looking guy?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's he's like apparently called Arius. They gave him kind of a better like backstory and stuff. It's all over the place. Cause like where three, one, two, three.
SPEAKER_09No, supposedly one thing I heard, isn't it like close to like the 2013 reboot or some shit?
SPEAKER_05Even like like not not no, it like because like how like Dante and everybody set up, like it's set up like it's supposed to be like three, but like how he is age-wise and like and his career and stuff, but it's just a jumble fuck of just craziness.
SPEAKER_04Like the first season was good?
SPEAKER_05No, it was still really it was still really bad, but I just wanna I just wanna know what it is so yeah, because I hate it so thoroughly that I want to be able to critique it.
SPEAKER_06It's like a train wreck, you're like strapped in, but you wanna like finish the five.
SPEAKER_03Five connected everything. Like even the fucking little girl from the first anime was in Devil May Cry Five. Yeah. And so like now they're doing this thing when I mean if you're gonna do the fucking thing, you gotta start at you gotta start at three. You gotta do three, one, four? All they had two, no, four, two, five, I think.
unknownFour, two, five.
SPEAKER_05Maybe two is the last one. All I know is like how they were starting it and stuff. All they had to really do was adapt the story of three, and like they would have been going. Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, a little bit, but like it was just all over the place. They like they made Lady kind of girl bossy, and now like in the second season, she's like a love interest for Dante, like nearly.
SPEAKER_03They never got that vibe from the third one, though.
SPEAKER_05No, and they already kissed twice in the same episode. It makes no sense. Damn. Yeah. The Castlevania series was cool. It was like I like it early.
SPEAKER_03I will say Trevor Belmont's a cool name. It is. You could be Trevor if you wanted to. No, no, no. I asked people what I'd look like if I wasn't a job.
SPEAKER_10If you were white, you could be Trevor.
SPEAKER_03Why was Trevor? Well, because I look like him?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. A little bit.
SPEAKER_03Okay. He we have the same forehead. I know who you're talking about. Same forehead, similar hair.
SPEAKER_10Yours is just more curly, but if you were white, they would go away. I don't know. Maybe he's No, you'd be Italian, so you're there.
SPEAKER_03It's still there. It's not going anywhere. There was um fuck, what was I gonna say? Uh Trevor Belmont's a cool name. Castlevania's okay.
SPEAKER_10Anime was good.
SPEAKER_03I like the one line in the anime where it's like, are you following me? It's like just stumbling through.
SPEAKER_05I think I remember that. Yeah. I think the band's like, I remember that line. I I like the like like the Castlevania stuff was good. I forget where I dropped off, but like I dropped off when he started doing stuff with Rickard, but like I guess he was kind of going for like a young Rickard, but it didn't hit the same because he was just he was just cursing up the same way Trevor was, and that worked for Trevor, but not for Richter to me. Yeah, I didn't watch Nock.
SPEAKER_03What's a what's a video game franchise that if you had creative input into, you could successfully make a TV show/slash cartoon?
SPEAKER_10Maybe Dark Souls 2.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_05Halo. Halo. I feel like Josh knows I could do the darkness. I've read a lot of people.
SPEAKER_03I've read one.
SPEAKER_08I'd work on that with you.
SPEAKER_03There's no way you're fucking doing Bioshock without my input in it. Also, I'm throwing this out there with Ben. I I didn't know if I talked about this on the podcast, I thought this might interest you. Uh fun fact so when the Xbox, whatever the newest one launch thing was Series X. Yes, they had a little teaser blinking you miss it thing, and it got a lot of people talking that it went nowhere.
SPEAKER_10Like most of their shit.
SPEAKER_03Ben knows what I'm talking about. I think I told you about this. Yeah, I remember exactly what we were doing when I told you this. Brando, you didn't know this, but uh in the launch commercial for that Xbox, the disc that goes in the Xbox says Darkness 3. Um, they did not make a Darkness 3. Ben would know.
SPEAKER_10Ben is I thought the Darkness 3 was the one where you played as the chick.
SPEAKER_05No. They know that two left on a massive post credits cliffhanger, and they didn't do anything with it. That's where it's at.
SPEAKER_10What was the one where you played as the chick? You didn't play a chick at all. No, different. I think he might be thinking of a different game series.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, what are you? I have no idea.
SPEAKER_09Are you thinking of like Darksiders? I am. Oh, yeah, you are. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03I was like Yeah, because you play Furian, like I don't like that they went from war right to death.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, they went from war or death and then Fury and then stopped.
SPEAKER_05I was hyped on death. I thought that he was I thought it was Where the Hell's Pestilence and Famine.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was pumped about that. That's yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Death should have been last reproduced curses. Yeah, they got. Yeah, but I feel like if they did Death Last, like I don't know, just stuff where Death would have been made four games. There's no fucking way. No, no, yeah.
SPEAKER_03No fucking way. You know what game I wish had a sequel?
SPEAKER_10Darkness, also great games, now that I know what we're gonna do. Thank you. It's so good. I really enjoyed the one the levels where you're in like World War One, reliving your father's like drama. It was dope. Yeah, it's that was the first rape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I only remember the end of the second. Well, either way, teaser darkness.
SPEAKER_03Three. Either way, Darkness 3, they teased it in the Xbox One, which never made it.
SPEAKER_09They've been teasing like fucking Half-Life 3 for forever.
SPEAKER_03They've never teased Half-Life 3. That's everywhere.
SPEAKER_10You know, it's a game they've been teasing for decades that will never happen. Beyond Good and Evil 2.
SPEAKER_05I don't know that game. That just made it just make me think of two in terms of teasing. I was really pissed earlier because uh, or at least a little pissed, this guy um was like showing like, oh yeah, like stuff that's gonna be with the new Xbox showcase. And he put like You mean that thing that's gonna be extinct soon? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03The Department Xbox section in Walmart.
SPEAKER_05Probably, yeah. But like basically in the guy's thumbnail, he had like uh like he had like it was showing off like prototype in the thumbnail, but like a girl version, and like I was like, what? There's no and then he didn't bring it up, and I was like, What why are you clickbaiting? Like so.
SPEAKER_10I forgot about prototype, those were fun games. I heard rumors about it might be making a new prototype game.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I heard rumors about that.
SPEAKER_03I also heard Bryce hearing rumors about a new prototype game. Uh, you know what I would have made a fucking sequel to? Just at least one more, because it literally ends with the words 2B continue. I mean, I might have said this before. Baseball's too? No, Dante's Inferno.
SPEAKER_10Oh, I forgot about that. That's basically just play Darksiders.
SPEAKER_05No, it's just play God of War. Pretty much. But it was cool. I liked it. I liked the tip. Like the great soundtrack. I feel like it didn't give get the love it deserved.
SPEAKER_03You do have to go like head to head with like a fucking dick. Yeah. Like literally a fucking dick.
SPEAKER_10And like babies crawling out of fucked up titties.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I do remember that too. Yeah, they always bothered me with the nipples or mouths. It was just licking my own stuff.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, little spider babies kind of. This is so cool though.
SPEAKER_05I love creepy game design. Yeah, this is good. It's neat. It's like, what the fuck is that? I played this one.
SPEAKER_10Just enjoy games based on like ancient poetry. Yeah. Sick. Do more of that.
SPEAKER_05Dude, that game made me read The Inferno. Like, it was great.
SPEAKER_03But not Paradiso or Purgatorio? No, but I should. No, they should have made the game.
SPEAKER_09They should have. Then I would have heard it. I read it in high school around the time the game came out, I feel like. My favorite was like, oh shit, I was reading about that enough.
SPEAKER_03My favorite thing is when they they faked, they tried to fake outrage and hired a bunch of fake protesters to be like, why don't you put down your PlayStation for a prey station? And then everyone's like, this is and even like the Catholic and Christian church is like, this was not us. This is a lie. We don't give a shit about this at all.
SPEAKER_09That reminds me of like one marketing campaign they had for Dead Space 2 where they would have like just unsuspecting like gamers' moms play Dead Space 2. Oh, I think I remember that. And so they would like naturally they you know, they're middle-aged moms, they don't know how to play a video game, and so they get murdered, and they're like, Oh my god!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I like I like uh my favorite one was I think for Burnout or some shit. They said, hey, if you get a speeding ticket, we'll pay for it.
SPEAKER_09That's pretty joke. I know, but they got a little bit after playing Burnout 2?
SPEAKER_03No, no, they said in like if I I forget exactly how it works, but it's so you can't do that. That's super fucking illegal.
SPEAKER_09It's extremely illegal. Basically just like, oh, okay, bet. I feel like the Burnout Legends was a very good thing it might not have been Burnout.
SPEAKER_03I don't I might be getting the games confused. But like it was I think Activision, they just weird ass fucking marketing campaigns that'd be like, hey, if you fucking freeze your left testicle, you're gonna get half off a steak of Chick-fil-A or whatever. Like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05Like there's something Yeah, I feel like that's on the same level of like, what was it, like Pepsi was like, oh, if you turn in so many points, we'll you'll get a plane or whatever. Yeah, well, some guy actually did it and was like, Well, where's my? I heard about this. I heard about this. Yeah, you didn't give him the plane? No, because they were like, we didn't expect anybody to actually do it, and I think it became a whole court thing. Yeah, and he still didn't get a plane. Yeah, I know I heard about that.
SPEAKER_03The court didn't side with him, and I'm pissed with that. You can't just tell people you're gonna give them a plane and lie to them, right?
SPEAKER_10Take all the executives that made that decision, cut their heads off.
SPEAKER_03No, you know what they shouldn't, they're fucking also idiots. What you do is just get a custom-made Pepsi plane about shipping the bottle size and be like, here you go, you wasted your life.
SPEAKER_05We didn't say what size.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Or you just or you go for good marketing and be like, sorry, we forgot about this. Here's a brand new jet. Right. Depending on if they're like they got the It's Pepsi, they got enough money to give a good.
SPEAKER_09No, no, what I'm saying is depending on if they got the ad where they're looking at the biggest. And then they'd make that money back.
unknownIt's true.
SPEAKER_03Go ahead, Bryce.
SPEAKER_09I was just gonna say, if in the ad they like have that bit at the end where they say really fast, it's like all of this is bullshit. We're saying all of this for legal reasons, like if they do that like CYA cover your ass kind of shit. I don't think they did, though. I don't know if they did, but uh I'm sure there was probably some fine print somewhere.
SPEAKER_10They would have made the plane's money back if they just gave the guy the plane on the condition that he had to be part of an ad campaign. You mean a company is fucking.
SPEAKER_03Hang on, I think you guys I think you guys are over fucking you guys are really over simple. No, they just missed a good ad opportunity that would have made more than the money.
SPEAKER_10Let the man say what he's gonna say.
SPEAKER_04You did get to start. You you've been fucking saying this to me off like four fucking times.
SPEAKER_03You said, give the man a plane, make the money back instantly. Then I said, go ahead, Bryce, finish your point. Then you said give the guy the plane, make the money back back. You can't just give somebody a plane. What if they crash into the World Trade Centers? Well, they can't do that now. There's another building up to the city.
SPEAKER_10That's good publicity.
SPEAKER_03They can still hit the Pentagon. They can still hit the Pentagon. Hit that next. Like I'm pr I I'm pretty sure that's probably the reason they couldn't just give the guy a jet. Probably.
SPEAKER_05It's just so dirty like that.
SPEAKER_03A Pepsi jet crashing into like the Eiffel Tower or something.
SPEAKER_09I mean, you need a license to even another Pepsi plane has hit the building.
SPEAKER_05I'm pretty sure. They showed like a kid in like a play and two in the ad. So it was just like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but they used to also show Gatorade making you sweat blue. Yeah, that was fun. I wanted to drink it.
SPEAKER_09Or how it feels to chew five gum.
SPEAKER_03I like too. One time somebody sent me, this is one girl I was friends with, sent me like a clip like how it feels to chew five gum, and it was just some shit getting violently fucked up.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit. But at the same time, though, you could have a plant, but you'll never sweat blue. That's the difference.
SPEAKER_10I feel like you could figure that out with a good chemist.
SPEAKER_03Well, that guy tell him that. That guy fucking uh who sued Red Bull, you know, he kind of had a case when you think about it.
SPEAKER_10He's like, I mean, they didn't give him wings.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's like, I've been drinking Red Bull for years. I don't have any wings. And they're like, hmm, what do we do about this? We did say it gives you wings. Like, uh sir, we used it with two eyes. It's like, but that's how I always spell wings. I mean That would be my defense.
SPEAKER_09I feel like if you actually thought that Red Bull like made you fly, I feel like that's on you. Maybe it was Don Quixote and he believes everything he reads.
SPEAKER_03Did you guys ever hear about the dude who fucking um the guy who uh he won every single fucking like I don't know what car it was, but let's just call it like a fucking convertible, like every net or Lamborghini or something. He like won every Lamborghini from like 1960 to like 1995, like whatever they did.
SPEAKER_10So he got how did he win them?
SPEAKER_03Some sort of VH1 contest, and he ended up having like 80 fucking cars.
SPEAKER_08Damn.
SPEAKER_03And he didn't know what to do with them, so then he like sold them to this guy who's like, I'm an artist, I'm gonna do a project with this, and he just did nothing with them, and the just 80 fucking classic cars just rotted in this garage, and everyone was like, This is literally automobile history.
SPEAKER_04Who's in charge of just destroying this?
SPEAKER_10Oh, dude. Welcome to what automobile companies do every day.
SPEAKER_05Somewhere my brother would have like a disturbance in the forest, like, oh it just reminded me of like a fucking there there was this thing I saw on a video about like this guy was uh like away from home on a business thing, and he had like a classic car in his parking lot, and the HOA had it towed or got rid of it because it was an ISO. Yeah, and he did. He did, and luckily the judge was in favor of him. They were like, Yeah, you can't fucking do that.
SPEAKER_10I think HOAs should be illegal. Why are you I bought this house? Why are you telling me what I can do with it?
SPEAKER_03Whose idea was that even? I don't know. Who the fuck is it? It goes beyond that. One person can have the idea. Yeah, who the fuck is agreeing to it?
SPEAKER_09I yeah, I mean, I'm with you. I fucking hate HOAs, but I feel like they're in like specific like communities. And also when you're looking for a house, they will like straight up post that up. And that was one of the first things like when I was looking for houses with my with my dad when we were looking at the house. You're like, no HOAs. No fucking way. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10I think they should all just get fucking shot. They're all on power trips and dickheads. We don't need unnecessary barriak.
SPEAKER_03You can just not move there. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10You don't have to murder people. The world's got too many motherfuckers. I say we get rid of some of the dickheads.
SPEAKER_03The people, the people who live in HOAs voluntarily do it.
SPEAKER_10The people who live there are fine. The people who run them maybe kill them.
SPEAKER_03I feel like they should just let them. Let that marinate for a minute. Brand is on a bad take streak today.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's my job. Bad takes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_10That's why I'm here.
SPEAKER_03Let that marinate for a minute, too.
SPEAKER_05I just feel like their rules shouldn't be enforceable at all.
SPEAKER_03I just think that like you should be able to like opt into it if you like move in. Uh like, is there any benefits to being in an HOM?
SPEAKER_05I think it's theory, like there originally was supposed to be, but now they're just more troublesome.
SPEAKER_03And there's a level, hang on, there's a level of this I kind of agree with. To keep families like mine out of their neighborhood. And I kind of agree with them. We're that family.
SPEAKER_04I think. No, fucking just nuisances to live around.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, I guess Puerto Ricans.
SPEAKER_09I think I think I I almost feel like there are some benefits to A Joys in the sense that like you get to build a death tank. Let me I don't think they will let you build a kill deserve. Uh I think I think that like it functions in theory, like, granted, but like in the same way that like your landlord will occasionally like, oh, this thing's broken, fix this. Like, I think HOAs will do certain things like that. Again, never been under an HOA, and I don't think that they do them to the extent that they were as Ben was they were initially designed to. No, but I think like do so if you pay into like they replace silos. They might be worse than.
SPEAKER_03If you live in like an HOA, well that's not really an HOA issue, it's more of a.
SPEAKER_09If you live in a community with HOA fees.
SPEAKER_03If the if you live in a community with HOA fees, they'll like upkeep parks and fucking like pools and shit. Yeah. But like, you know, they'll also take you $175 for fucking having your trash bins adjacent to the colour. Or parking on it.
SPEAKER_09Or a skewing side.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Or fucking like some of them just straight up say no.
SPEAKER_10Having too many cars in the driveway.
SPEAKER_03Some places say straight up no pickup trucks allowed.
SPEAKER_10Painting your window blinds the wrong color. Or like doing any like modifications to your house that they're like, oh, you didn't get a lot of things. See, these are the parts where the fascistic.
SPEAKER_03See, this is the fascistic side of me that does come out. Yeah, I don't like that guy. I don't like the rock garden guy. One time a hurricane hit and the rocks became a problem.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, they became shrapnel.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. All of a sudden it was dangerous to live.
SPEAKER_10And like you do realize it's like four big rocks that aren't gonna move.
SPEAKER_04That sand would get everywhere.
SPEAKER_09You could just all that sand got in my eyes and replace it with creeping time.
SPEAKER_03Or bamboo. Just playing a button. I would be that. See, this is why HOAs exist, because people like me.
SPEAKER_10Bamboo could become shrapnel too. No, bamboo is also an invasive space. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03That's what I'm saying. That's maybe why they exist. Because then people like me were like, well, I'm just gonna plant bamboo. What are you gonna do about it? And then it's like, God damn it, this is a legit problem now.
SPEAKER_10One of my uh co-workers at an old job uh did that, and he was like a landlord with three properties, and he planted bamboo in all of them, and then it just spread to like whole neighborhoods. Were they pissed? I'm sure they were very pissed. I'd be fucking pissed too. It cost him a lot of money to remove that bamboo and quarantine it. I bet. God.
SPEAKER_03I didn't know it spread that way. It's pretty dude. They used to fucking plant it underneath people because it just grows so fast it'll grow through you. It didn't give a shit. Really? Damn. Nature's not your fucking friend.
SPEAKER_10Also, we should plant more bamboo and use it to grow paper.
SPEAKER_03Do people make bamboo paper? I guess we could. I mean, they have other trees in Japan.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I know, but you know, bamboo is fast growing, it makes good paper.
SPEAKER_03Didn't bamboo grow in Japan? Doesn't it grow in China? Where are pandas from? That's what they eat.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, bamboo grows in most of Asia. Yeah. And pretty much anywhere you plant it.
SPEAKER_05I've seen enough samurai movies to know it's in Japan.
SPEAKER_03Actually, now that you mention it, I should have known that. Also, the amount of samurai movies I've seen.
SPEAKER_10Even any like cyberpunk or sci-fi movies, there's probably some bamboo scaffolding. Yeah. That they you know cut apart while they're having a fight.
SPEAKER_03Probably cut it in half, use it as some sort of thing to spill liquid into another thing.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, in a Jackie Chan movie, and then you're hanging from an end of it and then you fling back up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's another thing. Uh or you have to hide in like a pond.
SPEAKER_09In a Jackie Chan movie, he will use it to beat up a guy.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, well, who wouldn't? Yeah. I mean, they made spears out of it. Yeah. Even in the Middle East.
SPEAKER_01Middle East had bamboo, huh?
SPEAKER_10Imports. But they got all that sand.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Anything with a lot of sand? Bamboo. A lot of sand. Yeah. I used to romanticize the desert, but now that I'm older, the tundra's where it's at. The desert is a tundra. I would much rather live in the colder tundras.
SPEAKER_10Oh, well, good thing. My next CD trade record is about the tundra.
SPEAKER_03Nice. Hell yes. There you go. Hell yes.
SPEAKER_09We still haven't done embarrassing uh youth stories. Okay, we can do anything.
SPEAKER_03We can do an embarrassing youth story. What is somebody somebody chucking age out there?
SPEAKER_09Uh, well, I mean, I feel like you guys have heard this story to death, but I don't know if I've mentioned No bicycle falling story.
SPEAKER_03Was it gonna be that? That's not embarrassing. That's just something bad that happened to you.
SPEAKER_09I mean we've also done it. I don't think I've explicitly said it on the podcast. Go with it. You have just heard it a million times over the 20 plus years you've known me.
SPEAKER_03Surprise, tell the world.
SPEAKER_09So when I was a kid around 12, uh I I was between having bikes, and you know, me and my friends were just walking around, you know, the the world.
SPEAKER_03Walking around and riding bikes around.
SPEAKER_09Well, they were riding their bikes around. I didn't have a bike, so I was just walking around the world map of, you know, our neighborhood, you know, the general area, and we find a bike, and I'm like, oh shit. And we're like, we took it over to my my friend Tim's dad, and he, you know, fixed it up, you know, decent decently. And uh and I'm like, ah shit, now I got a bike. And we're riding out, literally, I shit you not, not less than 20 minutes of me riding out on this new bike. We're going down like a main road, and there's like construction on the side, and I'm like weaving around, and I go onto one of the fucking curbs, and I manage to hit a stake, a wooden stake, dead on with my front tire, flip over it and face plant on the fucking ground, and then I woke up like seven hours later in the hospital. Beautiful too. Yeah, that was me. I do like the idea of you just.
SPEAKER_10We'd never have the brace we have now without that incident. So I'm probably not to this wooden stake, I may well be a different person.
SPEAKER_05That's what I was gonna say. What if you are a different Bryce than we would have had?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that Bryce had a different brain.
SPEAKER_03Well, on a note of a different Bryce, do you guys think in the in the clone world or the or the twin universe, are you the evil twin or the good twin?
SPEAKER_10I'm the lazy piece of shit twin.
SPEAKER_03Doesn't really answer.
SPEAKER_10I'd like to think I'm the good twin.
SPEAKER_09Oh, like like the one treehouse of horror when you find out that Bart was the evil one the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, the mirror mirror, yeah. Because Cartman was so bad that like, oh, but in the mirror mirror universe, everyone else was evil and Cartman. Except a normal dude. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03They're like, no, we can't.
SPEAKER_09They're like, wait, can you can take it?
SPEAKER_03Can you take that one? Yeah, fuck this. Uh when I was um 13 or 14, I went to like a middle school dance, and uh, it was like the first time like you you like touch like someone of like the opposite sex, you know what I mean? And like in like some sort of way. One of those dances, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like I was getting like grinded on, and I just got the hardest dick. And then like the person grinding on me stopped, looked at me, went over. I saw her converse with a couple of people. Oh no. And then came back over and then was just like, Did you get a boner? And I was like, uh, and then she started calling me boner boy, didn't stop grinding on me. What you know what I mean, but whatever. So you won. So called me boner boy, and that that they call me that for a little bit. Thank God that did not stick. I that would have been fun, because that was really early. I was like fucking seventh. Boy boner boy. See boy boner boy. See you. We didn't talk about the Wolf Boy thing on the podcast. It was before. Um yeah, no, that was humiliating, terrible what they did to me. I was scared of it.
SPEAKER_09Terrible, terrible, see you in slow motion.
SPEAKER_03It was just one of those things where I just, as it was happening, I was just like, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Not get a boner, and you guys call me gay because it's 2007?
SPEAKER_05That would have been even worse at that.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I'd be known as that gay kid who didn't get a boner.
SPEAKER_05Well, that's that thing is you probably wouldn't have had the forethought at the time, but is you said she came back and continued to grind on you. Yeah, you could. Yeah, you could you could have been like, eh, well, I won out. Like if some guys called you out, you'd be like, Yeah, did you get grinded on you?
SPEAKER_03Reflecting on this incident that happened to me as a youth. I understand now that it was definitely one of those things where it's like, Do you have a boner? You think I'm pretty? You know what I mean? I understand what it is now, but as as like a kid, I was very scared of being called boner boy for the rest of my school career. So that's an embarrassing story of that. Or it happened to me. But I don't think I ever told you guys that. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_10Alright, I'll do a boner story. Nah, you definitely told me that story before.
SPEAKER_03Oh, well, sorry, praise. Do you got a boner? Go do your boner story.
SPEAKER_10I mean, so I was watching a movie with a bunch of these theater kids.
SPEAKER_03That's a alright. Whoa. So also your same thing, getting a boner, and then they could also still call you the gay kid.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. So I like this one chick. That was the reason I was there. We were hanging out on the couch watching this movie. We're like snuggling up. I get a boner, she puts her hand on it and she's like, wait, why do you have that? And then puts me on another chair.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's rough. That's rough. That is rough. Hold up, wait, wait, wait. I don't understand the thing. She snuggled up on you.
SPEAKER_10She snuggled up on me, and then she was like exploring down there, and then got mad. Then I was like, if anything, she's a freak at that.
SPEAKER_03As an adult, now reflecting. I don't think she got mad. She probably got scared.
SPEAKER_05Probably, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know? But that's terrible. Did you ever hang out with her again after that?
SPEAKER_10I think I went over her house once for her to make me a sandwich and then I'm not.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Oh, at least you want out.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, again, that's why she was probably like ready for it, and then she was like, ah!
SPEAKER_10Yeah, and the next time she was like, Alright, I'm gonna correct this, and I was just still too mad about the other time. To like even compensate it for your.
SPEAKER_05Were you angrily eating the sandwich? The the moving. No, I just ate it and then left. The moving like immediately.
SPEAKER_03The moving the fucking chair move. I understand I would also feel some sort of way.
SPEAKER_09Picking him up and moving him though. No, she didn't pick me up.
SPEAKER_10She just forced me and told me to go to the other couch. You made it. There was other people there. And she exclaimed and told them I had a boner had to go over there.
SPEAKER_03Hang on, what was the what was the ratio of boy to girl in the room? 50-50. That's pretty rough. Um, probably half those fucking dudes had boners too. Exactly.
SPEAKER_05Bullshit. I'm sure one of them at least was sweating, like, oh god, I hope they don't kick me.
SPEAKER_09They're like the the meme of like, mmm.
SPEAKER_03Dude, though, literally, honestly, I would buy that'd be my thought process. It's like, yeah, look at that guy. They're looking at me. Yeah. All right. No, look, we're I look. Why are you mad? I'm on your side. I'm on your side.
SPEAKER_09All right, Ben, it's your turn. You don't have does not have to be about getting the boner.
SPEAKER_03But we do have a theme going, so that's true.
SPEAKER_09Mine was about me getting a fucking concuction. Sorry, but then my buttons.
SPEAKER_03But then me and Brando had traumatic things happen to us. I wouldn't say arguably, mine was far more traumatic. I disagree. No, no, I can only come now if someone points at me and asks why it's so hard.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, you can't. They're gonna hood me to a separate eye with you.
SPEAKER_03Brando has, yeah, Brando has to come. He has to go sit in a chair. Like these gotta do everything to go finish over there. You see this? You see this?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, look at that guy. Look at that guy.
SPEAKER_04Just no one else is in the room. Look at this fucking dude.
SPEAKER_05I might be able to even it out. So I'll give you I'll give you two options. So one's not embarrassing, but uh appendix near death or uh or fourth grade, or no, not fourth. Yeah, rat like childhood crush situation.
SPEAKER_03I I have a fear you've told the childhood crush story. Did I? I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_05You've told age childhood crush story. It's not the one where I accidentally touched. No, it's not the children. I know I told you.
SPEAKER_03It's not the one with your friend's sister, right? No. Okay. Yeah, do the childhood let's do the childhood crush story.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so uh, you know, it's it's cool. There's this one uh girl at a big crush on, and uh uh, you know, and I wrote a note for her, and we had like an assembly, and she was like nearby, and I was like really nervous to give it to her. And then Do you remember what the note said? No, I don't it won't I don't even remember. What? No, it's that it's actually no, but but that'll that'll come into play slightly. So you know, uh nervous to give it to her assembly or whatever, and my friend uh at the time yells, uh you know, oh Monica Benna's note for you, and then I just I just fucking like put my head down on the table between my arms and just give it to her. And uh and then uh I get it, but you know, I'm waiting, I'm like, oh man, what's she gonna say? Like later on, I think her friend gave it to me back to me or her note back to me. She was like, Yeah, you know, sorry, I don't feel the same. And by the way, it's Monica with a with a C. I spelled her name wrong.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm on your side with that, by the way.
SPEAKER_05I would have also spelled her name wrong. Thank you.
SPEAKER_10I don't think I've ever put a K in Monica.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and actually like and I said at the time, I was like, oh, stupid, but like, you know, I I don't know.
SPEAKER_10I mean maybe you didn't watch Friends, it's fine. No.
SPEAKER_05I watched a lot of anime at the time, so I was like, yeah, K, maybe. We got a lot of K's in Japan.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but is there a single woman named Monica in all of Japan? Probably not. According to anime only logic?
SPEAKER_10Maybe like three, but they all are kind of weird. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'm drawing a blank there. There's gotta be at least one.
SPEAKER_03There's gotta be one. There's no way there's not one.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, so there there was that.
SPEAKER_10Maybe your future wife is Monica Japan with a K.
SPEAKER_03That'd be hilarious if her middle name was Monica with a Monica with a K and then Japan was her middle name. Horrible name for her fucking. It's still an M line.
SPEAKER_09I mean, that's where she was uh reduced. So wait, would her name be Monica? Then her middle name would be with a K, and then her last name would be Japan?
SPEAKER_03Well, initially, when I thought of it, no, but now that you mention it.
SPEAKER_05Alright. It could be yeah, it could be just spelled Monica with a C, but then but it's still with a K. It's still the middle name.
SPEAKER_03Is the middle name, yeah. With a K. So uh I have an unpopular My middle name's with a K? Uh on something that does not affect me in a new thing that should be mandatory in all gynecologists' office. One they gotta add a ratchet sound to all the tools.
SPEAKER_09I you know, you had me in the first half, I was like, where is he going with this? And then you brought it back around.
SPEAKER_03That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm like you go to the guy in the college first time. All right, no, it's good.
SPEAKER_10Sorry, I just gotta uh uh tighten this torque bolt.
SPEAKER_05No, yeah, I was gonna say you do that, and then you you gotta be like, alright, hold on, let me get the let me get the torque wretched. I gotta torque you to spec. And then and then you just hear the click at the end there.
SPEAKER_03You're like, all right, yeah, well done. I think also the idea too of like uh when you let something off, like uh when they're like have a car like thing up, and you let me think that's how a ratchet would work. I don't think there's any complex. Unless like a hydraulic versus a hydraulic. First idea is still good though. No, yeah, yeah. Boy, that would really that would really upset a lot of people.
SPEAKER_10Get some hydro, get some ratcheting sounds, get a torque sound in there.
SPEAKER_09Or about an hour 27, just uh hour 27 minutes?
SPEAKER_03Yes. Jesus fucking Christ. All right, that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_09We're cooking with gasoline, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Let's uh let's uh let's uh let's get a let's get a good closer going.
SPEAKER_10You got a closer you were the opener. You gotta get a closer.
SPEAKER_03Don't get us a closer. Yeah. That's a good idea. Don't look at the DVDs for help. I saw that.
SPEAKER_00I was just spacing out. Don't look at Quincy Jones. Quincy Jones isn't gonna help you.
SPEAKER_04That part's laced, but they missed the beginning part where they look over at Quincy Jones. Like, don't look at me. He's like, Don't look at Quincy Jones.
SPEAKER_05Alright, well, you know, all I gotta say is catch them, catch them, gotta catch them all, gotta catch them all. Double bass. Ooh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. All right, yeah. Yeah.