Find the full transcript at yourfuturerealized.com/16.
Do you remember when you first landed your role running operations? You probably thought:
"Yes! My hard work paid off. This is what I was meant to do!”
I bet you had high hopes and felt unstoppable as you stepped up to that next level.
But then something changed. You got pulled in lots of directions you didn’t expect. You started to get a little less organized. And your calendar got jam-packed with things you can’t say “no” to.
Unable to get to big priorities, you set your sights lower on little fixes, like “I’ll just work on getting through my inbox.”
Sound familiar?
Imagine feeling like a boss again like you did on Day One, only wiser.
Listen in to this episode and break the curse of people pleasing so you can reclaim control of your time.
Episode 16 – How Operations Execs Break the Curse of People-Pleasing
Do you remember when you first landed your role running operations? You probably thought:
"Yes! My hard work paid off. This is what I was meant to do!”
I bet you had high hopes and felt unstoppable as you stepped up to that next level.
But then something changed. You got pulled in lots of directions you didn’t expect. You started to get a little less organized. And your calendar got jam-packed with things you can’t say “no” to.
Unable to get to big priorities, you set your sights lower on little fixes, like “I’ll just work on getting through my inbox.”
Sound familiar?
Imagine feeling like a boss again like you did on Day One, only wiser.
Listen in to this episode and break the curse of people pleasing so you can reclaim control of your time.
Find the full transcript and more resources for operations executives at yourfuturerealized.com/16.
Hello Ops Execs!
Overseeing operations is a demanding role. It requires you to make tough calls, often under pressure.
And you got where you are by being competent, and by building strong rapport with people across functions and levels. Of course, you want to be well-liked by your colleagues.
But when that turns into a compulsion to keep everyone happy, then it becomes a curse.
The Curse of People Pleasing
I’ve seen this curse show up in a lot of different ways, including:
- Accepting every meeting request even if it lacks a clear agenda and objectives
- Avoiding difficult conversations or decisions that might rock the boat
- Agreeing to unrealistic deadlines that cause breakdowns in your team
- Prioritizing external clients’ needs over those of internal employees, causing low morale
- Consenting to requests from other departments that displace resources on projects underway
To break the curse, you need to start recognizing when you put the need to be the ‘good guy’ over the needs of the business. As head of operations, your responsibility is to lead the org to success, not to be everyone’s buddy.
If you’re struggling with a people-pleasing habit, consider that you are not the problem. Your perception of yourself is. Your idea of the role you play shapes every aspect of your life.
When you’re stuck people-pleasing, you see yourself on a spectrum. On one end is “I’m pleasing them” and on the other is “I’m ticking them off or disappointing them.” Either “they’re happy with me,” or “they’re mad at me.” Or something like that.
But things aren’t as simple and two-dimensional as that. Once you get past this limited view, you can know yourself as someone who can:
- Handle complexity
- Set and maintain boundaries and
- Say “no” to things that aren’t a priority.
You’ll have an open road of possibilities again.
The Art of Saying “No” Without Burning Bridges
I could feel a disturbance in the Force when I just said that. The ripple of a thousand operations executives groaning at the thought of saying “no”.
I get it. It can almost be physically painful to say “no” to someone, especially if you know how to do what needs to be done. Not only because you would disappoint them, but because you would disappoint yourself. You have gotten far by being the person who can do it all right?
It can be tough to accept that you cannot do everything. Pinpointing your highest priorities can provide you with a clearer view of the overall situation.
And it's important to be realistic, upfront, and truthful about your capacity and what you can handle.
There are ways to say “no” to requests without burning bridges. For example, saying “no” doesn’t have to be the end of the conversation. Maybe you can suggest alternatives or a compromise. Exploring options helps maintain relationships. It also shows them you’re still invested in working together.
Hack Your People-Pleasing Habit and Let Your Ops Team Shine
One particularly effective way to hack a people-pleasing habit is to create a strong system for delegating.
I saw an example of this recently. A client had the reputation of being a loyal soldier and prided himself on resolving any problem that came his way. After a bit of a health breakdown and some forced time off work, he knew he needed a different path forward.
He reviewed the responsibilities of his direct reports and found that they were out of date with the current reality. He revised them to be more appropriate and specific. And he rolled them out, so everyone knew what they were responsible for.
He was hesitant to change things but found his reports were eager to solve the problems that kept falling between the cracks. Like him, they appreciated the opportunity to rise to the occasion. It took a few weeks, but it made it easier for him to delegate.
Suddenly he found he didn’t have to say “no” as frequently. And he’s freed up to focus on the things that he really should be working on.
Doesn’t that sound like a relief?
I’ll leave you with this question today: What do you need to do to break the curse of people-pleasing and set healthy boundaries?
You can’t stop the chaos, but you can change the game.