Working with my clients is like jumping into a sea of endless wisdom and inspiration. Every wave carries valuable insights and keeps me on my toes!
I'll never forget a conversation with one of my first clients. A busy entrepreneur and author, he was juggling several groundbreaking projects and leading a very fulfilling personal life. I couldn’t help but ask, "How on earth do keep this all going?"
Without skipping a beat, he said: "I have excellent boundaries. And I never compromise them."
He said it so matter-of-factly. I was impressed by his bold words and confidence, and I wanted some of that for myself. He inspired me to explore strategies for setting boundaries in a new way.
In this episode, I’ll share the 3 obstacles that keep you from setting clear boundaries and the key to dealing with them so you can carve out a healthy work-life balance.
Find the full transcript at yourfuturerealized.com/20.
Understanding the Power of Your Habit Bubble
Hello Ops Execs!
Most of the overworked operations executives I meet struggle with setting boundaries around their time.
It’s not unusual to get used to working hard day in and day out without taking breaks or establishing firm limits on your hours. Maybe you frame it to yourself as “It’s ok, I’m strong, I can take it.”
During crunch time, this leads to doing things in autopilot mode to quickly accomplish tasks.
While productive, this approach is not sustainable and can take a physical, mental, and emotional toll. And it can lead to missed opportunities for growth and innovation.
If you want to kick your development to the next level, understanding your habit bubble is a great place to start.
Your "habit bubble" represents the collection of assumptions that guide your actions and decisions. They might include beliefs like:
· “If I want it done properly, I have to do it myself.”
· “I don't have time to explain it to someone else.”
· “I'll just work a little harder and get through this.”
As this habit bubble solidifies over time, breaking free from it can be uncomfortable. It can trigger primal fight, flight, or freeze instincts that aim to maintain your sense of security inside the bubble. This discourages you from exploring beyond its confines and keeps you stuck.
By acknowledging and challenging these ingrained assumptions, you can start to push beyond your comfort zone for personal and professional growth.
Embracing E.Q. to Set New Boundaries
The happiest high achievers I’ve met have a practice of evaluating and reshaping their habit bubbles. They lean into discomfort and challenges, seeing their emotional reactions as opportunities for growth rather than something to avoid.
For instance:
Imagine setting a goal to establish new boundaries around your time, like taking a proper lunch break every day. One where step away from your desk, enjoy your food, and relax.
When you try to take a step in a new direction like this, you’ll likely be visited by the three guardians of your habit bubble.
The first guardian you’re likely to meet is a knee-jerk fear. It’ll try to dissuade you by telling you it’s too risky to even try to take real lunch breaks.
Instead of allowing this initial visitor to dictate your choice, you can reframe it as a normal symptom of trying something new. Pushing ahead anyway can transform it into a source of motivation.
Then the second guardian you might meet is guilt. It might say things like:
· “Who do you think you are? You think you can walk away from your responsibilities?”
· “Everyone else is working through lunch. Don’t be lazy.”
· "Remember that project you’re behind on? Maybe you should skip lunch and fix it instead."
· “You don’t deserve a break; you took one yesterday.”
Almost every high-achiever I know hauled some form of guilt into their adult life from their childhood. Maybe it started as the voice of a parent, or a sibling, or your Catholic school nun teacher. Maybe all of them.
You’ve probably heard this voice so often in your head, you think it’s the truth. But recognizing it as a learned behavior can alleviate its impact.
Lastly, the third guardian you’ll meet up with is feelings of inferiority. Many call it imposter syndrome these days. It may show up as feelings of unworthiness, or self-doubt.
This can be particularly tough at work, where the need to perform amps up the stakes. It’s helpful to consider that you’re not alone, many people grapple with similar sentiments. (For more on this, check out Episode 3: ‘How Ops Execs Hack Imposter Syndrome.’)
Prioritizing Well-Being: Establish Non-Negotiables
Now maybe you’re thinking ‘This habit bubble is a bad thing.’ But that’s not always the case. Habits are great and serve a purpose. The problem comes when you feel stuck in them.
The trick is to establish a positive relationship with your habits. You can do this by doing these two things:
1. First, understand it’s natural to be pulled toward the familiar and predictable. It gives you a sense of security and comfort we all crave.
2. Secondly, reflect on how your persistence, creativity, and willingness to take strategic risks have propelled you forward.
By balancing these perspectives, you’ll have a key to moving forward effectively.
The risk of staying inside your habit bubble is you get more entrenched. Every time you opt for comfort over innovation, it gets harder to break free.
On the flip side, though, you can reshape your habit bubble in a flash. All it takes is establishing a non-negotiable that promotes your well-being.
It might be something like:
· Setting limits on your work hours
· Dedicating time blocks for strategic planning
· Creating rules that minimize email distractions, or
· Allocating time for personal growth and reflection
Getting to know your habit bubble and the influences that keep you inside it can help you set and maintain healthy boundaries.
I’ll leave with you this question: If you were free from fear, guilt, and self-doubt, what boundary would you set to improve your overall quality of life?
You can’t stop the chaos, but you can change the game.