The Twin Therapists Podcast
Drs. Jude and Julius Austin, identical twin brothers, lift the curtain on the "doing" of psychotherapy. With unwavering honesty, raw vulnerability, and unwavering compassion for the complexities of the human condition, they illuminate the path for both fledgling clinicians and seasoned professionals alike. The Twin Therapists podcast is your gateway to a world where healing meets humanity, leaving no stone unturned in the relentless pursuit of understanding the depths of the human soul.
The Twin Therapists Podcast
The Art of Engaging Audiences as an Introvert
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What happens when your little soccer star decides to hang up their cleats, but the family legacy of sports beckons with open arms? Join us as we navigate the twists and turns of parenting with a smile, sharing the tale of Valen's candid farewell to soccer and our amusing exploration of new athletic avenues like tennis or golf. Amidst the laughter, we find time to chat about our academic pursuits and the epic battles of our Dungeons & Dragons campaign, where reaching level three has brought a new wave of excitement and adventure.
In a delightful shift, we explore the world of youth sports through Cairo's lens, as he faces the thrill and pressure of trying out for a development program. With a mix of humor and sentiment, we discuss the balance between fostering a competitive edge and ensuring the joy of the game remains intact. Celebrate with us as we cherish these pivotal moments, witnessing young athletes like Cairo embrace their potential and savor the journey of growth and resilience on the field.
Ever wondered what it feels like to captivate an audience at a prestigious conference? Picture this: delivering a keynote at the Louisiana Counseling Association and the blend of nerves and excitement it brings. We recount the highlights of our talk, the quirky moments, and the warm atmosphere that made it all feel like a home game. From the challenges introverts face in the spotlight to the unexpected energy that comes from audience engagement, we reflect on the importance of mentorship in navigating the professional world and balancing personal comfort with public visibility.
If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case - reach out with the info below:
https://thetwintherapists.com/
Instagram: thetwintherapists
Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com
Family Check-in and Soccer Farewell
Speaker 1Welcome back to the cast . It feels like it's been a couple days , but really it's been like what ? A week and a half since we did this . Man , who knows anymore ? Who knows anymore ? Man , who knows ? Yeah , man , yeah , we got a little check-in . Then we're going to do a little topic and then we're going to do a little check-out .
Speaker 1All of our children are sleeping right now . Everyone in our houses are sleeping , so at any point a baby could wake up and ruin this whole podcast , yeah , man . So you know , uh , just bear with us . You may only get just a couple of seconds from us tonight . You know , just a couple of seconds from this man , that's , that's , that's all you may get from us , you know ? All right , man , let's do some check-ins . Man , what , uh , what was going on over there ? Do want to share with the people ? Man , we quit . Man , oh , you quit . Okay , we quit .
Speaker 1Nah , nah , nah , man , this is the last cast . Nah , nah , I'm talking about soccer . Man , I'm talking about soccer . Yeah , I mean , if the listeners were listening , a couple weeks ago you heard that Valen , he won the medal , played , played his little butt off , you know , and then he just didn't want to do it anymore . Man and dog , dog , right , I'm trying to and you know it was it was . I'm trying my best , you know , right , try my best .
Speaker 1I think in the last guys I talked about it , you know , yeah , but he looked at me , man , and he was like for real , like , daddy , I don't want to play , I never want to play . Yeah , I don't . I don't like the crowds , you know . And I think back to when we were singing them happy birthday , you know , for his third birthday and everybody's there , all of his friends and loved ones are there . You know , I think we were there for that third birthday and I remember him being like I don't like this .
Speaker 1Yeah , it was . It was like , all right , valent , happy birth . And then he quieted the car . I remember that , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . And so he had like 30 , 45 . We had the same whisper in the living room going happy birthday , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , uh-huh .
Speaker 1And the thing is is that he's not shy , you know , like he's not , he's not scared , he just doesn't like it , yeah . So , yeah , we had a tough choice , man , I just hey , look , I said , look , man , me , and you can , and you can go . Are you going to give him away to a family that needs a more quiet child or a child that's less athletic . Yeah , we gave him away that day . Okay , yeah , okay , yeah , we love him , though , because , as for us , in this house , in this house , in this house , oh , no , we play . Yeah , yeah , oh no , we play , yeah , yeah , no man , no , no , I think he might be a tennis player , I think he may be a golf player . I think he may be , I think he may be .
Speaker 1For those who don't know , jude's a lovely bride . Yeah , almost had like a dual scholarship in soccer and tennis . Yeah , man , in college , that she in college , so she did . But let's just say , let's just say with that , let's just say what the old is doing something , let's just say with the oldest skin , oh , the circle is closed . Oh yeah , I'm gonna dog get him , I'm gonna dog it's , I'm gonna make a name for myself today . Hey , man , for real , though , for real , it was , it was , it was nice man , it was nice , it was nice man . Anyway , yeah , yeah , yeah , um , that's it , that's it , man , that's it .
Speaker 1Semester's gone good , um , theories , class wrapping up , everything's going pretty smooth , man . Uh , d and D is uh happening . We moved up to level three . And so , you know , casting spells went to Bard college . I'm playing the Bard . For those of you in the know , you know , yeah , I fought a demon , baby , I fought a vampire today . Yeah , wow , dog , it's fun . Man , yeah , it's fun . Yeah , I know it's fun .
Speaker 1We were too busy , I don't know , being athletes and going to parties in high school to be trapped in somebody's basement playing the loser game . As far as I'm concerned , that's how bad . To each his own . To each his own In the gym . Listening to in the gym pumping iron , listening to Brandon Sanderson yeah , the nerd was always in there . He was in there .
Speaker 1I wish it was something that a lot of people I wish it was something that we would have gotten into earlier . It seems like a huge wave in counseling of D&D being more a part of the lexicon . It was in Times Square . Man , what is happening over there ? Wake up , jt , come on , man , it's late , it's late . Wake up , jt , come on , man . The people came here .
Speaker 1No , this is what you wanted . No , this is what you wanted . No , what I want is a consistent time throughout the week that we can count on , with a reassurance that you will be present for the cast . But no , I got to get the scraps of a 10 , 30 cent . What am I , jude ? Some backdoor Jezebel that you only call at night time ? What is this ? What am I to you ? What are we ? Do I even have anything ? You know what's funny , man ? Do your friends know about me ? So you know we lost a faculty anything . You know it's funny , man . Do your friends know about me ? So you know we lost a faculty member . You know moment of silence . You know he's a listener .
Speaker 1If all the cast members , if all the cast listeners can just send some mental energy of reconnection to this person , you know if y'all could lift him up back towards home yeah , you know if and send a subliminal message that if it doesn't work out at the university that he's currently at the university of louisiana is also looking for an associate . Oh , don't do that . Come on , bro . Yeah , yeah , we'll treat you nice over here , yeah , nah , if y'all could just all one , come on , come on , come on down further south . Get some of this gumbo and etouffee man . Hey , hey , come on . We got Crunella . Don't do it like that . Come on to feel it in his spinal cord
Youth Soccer Program Tryouts
Speaker 1.
Speaker 1You know the , the , the tug . You know the naval tug back home . You know , um , yeah , that would be nice , but it's funny because he , you know he's a part of it too , and so you know it's like he never left . You know , yeah , but , uh , it's definitely , it's definitely fun . You know , just , just just just being treated like the side chick . You know , wow , okay , that's it , and you know whether he wants to acknowledge it or not . Yeah , it's how I feel . You know , wow , wow , so okay , yeah , all right , okay , all right , it's fine . It's fine , though . No , it's fine . No , I see the tears in your eyes . Yeah , no , his faculty is probably probably fits him better . You know , yeah , yeah , it's for the best , it's for the best . He has an OK faculty .
Speaker 1Why don't you check in ? Come on , man , tell us , tell us , tell us the news , man , tell , tell us the news . Man , tell us the news , the news . What is it ? The Rush Fury ? Yeah , we got the call today . Man , got the call . We got the call today , man , yeah , man , we do this thing called practice after practice .
Speaker 1Know , so , like after after , we practice with the team me and carol kind of stays out a little later , and we do , you know , like man , touching drills , passing drills . You know , we do a little bit of fitness , we do , just like all around game stuff , you know , and man has been , has been , paying off , yeah , you know , and so it pays off . So much to where , like , he plays in a recreational league and um , and you know , uh , the recreational league kind of has like , a bunch of players who , you know , this is their first time playing soccer . You know , no shade , it's just that's what the league is for . This is exactly what the league is for , you know .
Speaker 1And uh , cairo is just like outgrowing the league , you know , in a sense of like it happens . You know , it's not about having fun for him , it's not about learning for him , it's about , like you know , competition and winning , and having a kid like that on a rec team can sometimes make it unfun for the other kids . That's what's happening right now . That's what's happening , you know , because he's like yelling at other kids . You know he's like yelling at other kids . You know he's like angry after the games . You know he's like crying and like he wants to like stay on the field and practice after the game . You know he , like , you know it's just getting to a point to where it's just like , yeah , yeah , yeah , that , uh , yeah , that it's , it's getting out of hand , you know .
Speaker 1So what happened ? Yeah , man , well , no , we just , we just got a call from from one of the directors , you know it . It was like , you know , hey , uh , we know we're looking for good players for the youth development program , you know . And uh , he was like , if , if you know , if your kid's interested , you know , we'd love to have him try out . You know , um , and he was like , if he's anything like you and your brother , uh , you know , know , then I'm pretty sure he'd be a good fit , you know .
Speaker 1So the youth development program is like , uh , it's like the competitive version , it's like travel ball , essentially , you know , for soccer . You know . So the trial is november 16th , you know . And tryouts , man , when was the last time you tried out first ? Well , they don't really make like cuts or anything at like the ? U , because carol's seven right now , but he plays at the U9 level . So they don't really make cuts at that age , not until around U11 , u12 . But essentially it's like , hey , we're going to place you on a team if you're good enough to play at this level . So , yeah , man , yeah , yeah , we had the call and so we got a month to train .
Speaker 1We went out and played today and does he know ? Did you tell him ? Yeah , I told him , yeah , what did he say ? Yeah , he was a little nervous , you know , uh , because the way I coached it was like , hey , if you don't make this team , I'm going to disown you . Yeah , so there may be a , there may be a little bit of jitters . You know , yeah , because the way I coached it was like hey , if you don't make this team , I'm gonna disown you . Yeah , so there may be a , there may be a little bit of jitters , you know , yeah , but the pressure , the , the pressure makes diamonds , you know . You know what he really said , though , what he said . So we went out there and I was like , uh , I was like , hey , you may feel a little pressure . This is what he said , verbatim ha , that's funny , because I don't feel any pressure . That's what he said . No , I just snickered , you know , and I was like yes , yes , yes , yes . Let the aggression wash over you .
Speaker 1I feel like the listeners . I feel like the listeners don't know we're joking . I feel like we gotta tell the listeners we're joking , cause they gonna think I ain't joking . I ain't joking dog , I'm not joking one single bit , man .
Speaker 1I , I want cairo to go in and like , be his confident self backflips , telling kids they're losers . I mean bullying , bullying people off the ball , you know . Like I want his feet to talk for himself , you know . But like , yeah , I want it to be one of those things where it's just like hey , man , if y'all boys want to play here in South Louisiana and they got another Austin on the field , yeah , yeah , I want their parents to be like there's another one out here . I thought they move . I thought they move . Why is it ? Why are they ? Yeah , man , yeah , man , yeah , yeah , yeah , I want his picture to be in the office just like mine is , you know , right next to daddy-o . No , man , no , I just , you know , you know I wanted to have fun and I want him to fall in love with the game . But anyway , winning is fun . No , genuinely , genuinely . Like I really love how . Like you know , like he doesn't feel pressure to like , be or do anything , you know , and he and he loves training .
Speaker 1You know , one of the things that's like a really important dog that I do in golf too , is like hey , man , let me know when you're ready . Let me know when you're ready to go . Let me know when you're ready . Let me know when you're ready to go . That dog , he told me that we trained for , let's see , we dropped robie to dance at five o'clock . We made it to the field for like five , 25 . And like we got going in around five , 30 . My alarm rang at six , 15 . We did like maybe 15 more minutes of like drills and stuff . And then he was like , okay , I'm ready , can we stop to the store and get a snack ? I was like , dude , let's go , let's go . Like I'm not arguing , I'm not like , come on , 15 , 20 more minutes , come on , let's go , come on , you know like , nah , man , like let's go , like you did , you did . Well , you know , you did the same thing . I mean same thing . Like we talked about this .
Speaker 1Like when we play golf , you know , like when I take the kids to play golf , but I get it , I get it candy . You sit in the golf course two , three , four holes , two holes , 4 , 5 , 6 holes . My kids can get through 9 just because we've been doing it for a while . But sometimes they do only 4 , sometimes they do 6 , sometimes they want to hit balls and they don't eat any snacks . We don't watch any tablets out there . Sometimes they don't run the cart cart , sometimes they just want to run . You know , yeah , but we get , they get tired . After four holes they want to go home . All right , let's go . Yeah , yeah , like carol , come on , stop into the clubhouse , say hey to people , go get yourself a gatorade if you want one . Yeah , yeah , yeah , man , yeah , this on the , on the , and then so , and on the golf , the golf course , just like on the soccer field .
Speaker 1When we're out there playing , it's like , dude , ask me anything , you want to ask me . So we talk about life , we talk about the universe , we talk about God , we talk about girls . He was doing backflips today and they had girls looking at him , you know , and just like , about that stuff , you know . We talk about , you know , cleaning your room . We talk about whatever , whatever , you know , whatever he wants to talk about , you know .
Speaker 1So , yeah , it's not just about , like you know , training and running and kicking , and it's really , like , you know , valuing the time that we spend together . Yeah , you don't care how he does the drill , you don don't care . No , I don't care . I mean , there's sometimes , sometimes , sometimes it's like , you know , like sometimes it's a little sloppy , you know so , and I'm only on him because I know he's better than that . You know , like he was , he sent a sloppy pass and he goes Daddy , I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I was like dude need some water or something . He's like , yeah , I'm just tired . I was like , okay , go get some water and like regroup dude , like it's fine , I'll go and I'll change the drill up and we'll do another drill . You know it was just a sloppy pass .
Speaker 1You know , yeah , see , my kids are at the age , like he is , at the age where I could tell him , you know , because he doesn't , oh , he doesn't , he doesn't get it . Yet he doesn't get it . I mean , he gets it but he doesn't get it , you know . And so what I tell him is like , hey , man , you having fun . And he's like , yeah , I'm having so much fun . I'm like , hey , when you're ready , I got some secrets that I think will help you play better . Oh's how we . And then they do well . And it's like , oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . That's not that's how I introduce it to Cairo too , like I got some secrets , man , if you , yeah , you know , he's like really at this field , has ever heard of . There's no other coaches . I was trained by Kirk Talley . I got them . I got them Whoppers the mastermind himself . Not only was that a collegiate athlete , a professional athlete , that's also got a coaching license . Dad's also did a dissertation on collegiate athletics . Yeah , dad's , not some old , regular old , let's get out here and play boys . Nah , son , yeah , man .
Speaker 1And another thing is that with Roby , like so just a real quick check-in , man , she's been doing this thing where she starts to cry , you know , to go to dance . Like she starts to cry when she's at dance , you know , like she's like I don't want to go to dance , I don't want to go to dance , even though she loves it , you know . So megan's megan's been doing this thing with her and , like me , I usually drop her off to dance . But we've been doing this thing where it's like you know you're strong , you're brave and you can do anything . You know just like , yeah , those like affirmations to her man and like I can tell she's like super nervous . You know , man , she think , she think I can . I saw her today mouthing those affirmations to herself , you know , as she was like walking into dance . But man , it's just like , yeah , it's just cool to see him kind of like blossom and be confident . You know , yeah , bro , yeah , man , it was nice to see him yesterday , man , yesterday , oh , yeah , yeah , brennan , yeah , them babies were there .
Speaker 1No , it was Tuesday . Oh , wow , it was Tuesday , yeah , but them babies were there , boo-hooed . If they didn't see you before you got on the plane , bro , boo boo . See , I guess we should probably welcome the new listeners . Huh , hey , man , welcome the new listeners . Yeah , yeah . So we did a thing , man , tuesday Tuesday morning . Tuesday morning we went to Lake Charles .
Speaker 1Let's just jump , let's just jump right into the topic . Man , that wasn't going to be . My topic was to be like the LCA experience . I have another topic . Yeah , that's cool . What topic do you want to talk
Keynote Speech Success and Work Banter
Speaker 1about ?
Speaker 1Oh , marriage and family class . Oh , marriage and family therapy class , class , yeah , okay , well , let's briefly touch on LCA and then transition to the class man , yeah , yeah , yeah , thank you , yeah , so , uh , yeah , so , uh , jesus and I got invited to do a , a keynote speech , uh , by vicky , um , the lca president , right , current president , she's rolling off , yeah , um , but yeah , man , a keynote speech , um , for two hours , right , two hours , yeah , I mean like hour and a half , hour and a half , yeah , somewhere , um , but uh , yeah , lake charles , louisiana , for the louisiana counseling association , louing Association . And boy , they paid us money in hand after that . The second we got off the stage , vicky slipped us a little check , put it in our pocket . What kind of Louisiana stuff is this , with a hot check just in my pocket ? Come on , man , it was nice though . It was nice to get get it . But yeah , man , it was fun , dog , it was fun .
Speaker 1You know , like we , the way we , the way we do keynote speeches , you know it's kind of like this man , like me and you talking to each other and then the crowd gets to be a part of the conversation . You know , like we have a structure and we want it to be practical . You know what I mean . But more than anything , we want to keep the audience engaged . And yeah , it felt like we did that . Man , people were engaged . People stayed in there laughing man , some people talked about crying in there , dog , like , yeah , man , touch people's hearts , man , yeah , more than anything , it felt like people just had a good time . Yeah , yeah , it felt like people just had a good time . Yeah , yeah , man , people just had a good time .
Speaker 1There were so many people that came up to me and said , like , man , this is the best keynote that they've ever been a part of . Yeah , man , it says a lot , man , because you know , like man , we really put some energy and effort into this , for sure . You know , like , sure , yeah , man , yeah , we really put some energy and effort into this . You know like , uh , sure , yeah , man , yeah , we really put some energy and effort into it . So , uh , yeah , it's humbling , like it's . It's , it's genuinely humbling . Yeah , man , you know , but it was also , it was also dope man to see , to see a faculty .
Speaker 1Try to get me to work over there , man , try to wow , yeah , man , yeah , it's probably about the , probably about the third or fourth time . I don't know if I told you , man , but they said that they would fire you if I would go there . It's getting a little hurtful now . Yeah , I don't know , but you know what dog ? It's getting a little hurtful , my bad dog , because your rank is assistant professor . Wow , mine is associate , so it wouldn't have worked anyway . That's what I . Mine is an associate , so it wouldn't have worked anyway . Well , we got an associate professor position open right now . Yeah , yeah , I had to pass , I just couldn't . Yeah , that's fine .
Speaker 1The load to carry you would be so heavy with the proximity the closer I am to you , the heavier the load . Yeah , yes , it's how it is the load . Yeah , yes , it's how it is . Yeah , yeah , yeah , we know how you are . Yeah , but you know , honestly , man , if they would have said they would have knocked down the wall and gave us a joint office , I would have did it .
Speaker 1I don't want a joint office , man . Come on , man , come on , bro . What if you get like a big ? What if you get like a sectional ? You know why . The main reason why I don't want to join office is because you don't know how to close your mouth when you eat . That's why . That's why you be up in there smacking , like you be up in there smacking . That's why . That's why you don't want me to work with you , bro . Yeah , you can't keep your mouth closed . Yeah , you get all your nose , get all stuffy , you start blowing your nose .
Speaker 1I cannot tell you the amount of lozenges and nasal spray and Kleenex that we went through in a 24-hour period while this man was in Louisiana was ridiculous , ridiculous . We could have made a paper mache LCA sign . That's what the LCA was made out of . Ridiculous man . My God , you know I have sinus issues , man , you know it's a documented thing . I got them right , man , you know , you know it's a documented . It's a documented thing , I got them right now .
Speaker 1See , seriously , though , like this is one of the first conferences that I've ever been a part of where I felt like , uh , it was a home game , bro . That's what I was telling . My fact , I felt like it was a home game . That's what I said . It was a home game . That's what I said , man . I was like look . I was like , look , g is like he's in a good spot . I've never seen him . This chuffed Ball was chuffed . Look at my students . I was like look at my students . Man , let me introduce you to my little students , g . They're all here . Did you see the smile on my face at the poster presentation ? Hey Jude , this is one of our star pupils , this is Sabrina and this is Regina and this is Gabby and this is , oh , man bro . Nah , man , yeah , it felt like a home game bro .
Speaker 1It wasn't just the faculty and students from UL , it was also the alumni from UL too . Man , I don't know , man , it just felt like a warm welcoming , so many people . It's like I'm so glad that we have you here on faculty , like I'm , you know , and not just that , it was private practitioners who graduated from ul and , like you know , you saw how many private practitioners that was at lca , man , like real , real people doing the real work in the community , something that we don't , we don't really get at like a aca . You know , like I'm pretty sure that they're at aca . Yeah , they're there at ACA . Well , yeah , they're there , but ACA is different . Aca , yeah , aca feels a little different . Lca is like real hometown cooking .
Speaker 1All of those state conferences , man , like North Dakota State we did the keynote speech there . Louisiana , we did the keynote speech there . You know , man , we could travel around the country doing keynote speeches for these guys . Seriously , man , man , that'd be fun , it's great , isn't that bad ? Yeah , for the man , that would be , that would be dope for the state conferences .
Speaker 1Just kind of go around the country and like , do some of these keynotes , man , yeah , man , hey , but can I , can I take , can I , can I say something real quick , man ? Um , and it's a pet peeve of mine , dog , and you trigger me , you trigger me , man , I trigger you , you trigger me . You trigger me , man , I trigger you , you trigger me . Yeah , okay , what I do , boy , you suck at introducing people to me . Boy , you suck at it .
Speaker 1I don't know what it is , I don't know what it is , jesus , but there's something inside of you that I feel like you . Just . This is my brother in Jude , that is Austin . He has been looking forward to meeting with you . He has brown eyes , he likes
Introverted Keynote Speaker Challenges
Speaker 1hot ham sandwiches .
Speaker 1Don't be irrelevant , don't take that communication style . No , man , what you want me to do , this is what I want you to do . I want you to be like hey man style . Nah , man , what you want me to do , this is what I want you to do . I want you to be like hey man , hey , hey man , hey , hey man , so cool to see you here . Hey , listen , hey man , that's my brother . Hey , you know what this is , so , and so you know what this is what a faculty said to me .
Speaker 1I figured it was like you know , like I feel like I , like I know your brother , but that's what I'm saying , dog . It felt like people knew me but didn't know how to talk to me , and I felt like I felt like they knew you and for the first time in my life , first time in my life , somebody knew you who didn't know me . Yeah , and you know that's weird dog , because ain't no particular . You know that . Come on juice . You know I'm everybody's favorite , but I stay in hiding . I stay in hiding . Yeah , I , I was telling my faculty that , like , when I came home from that conference , dog I took like a 17 hour nap baby was like I can't dog , I can't dog dog my battery . Hey , remember when that ? This is . This is the difference between the two of us . But , like we walked in the conference .
Speaker 1What I'm looking for is a dark hole to envelop myself into . I'm trying to find the corner , the nearest corner of the furthest stage , away from everybody , and I'm trying to slink into this corner Even though , even though you're the keynote speaker , even though I'm the keynote speaker , give me the hell out of this space with all these people that's saying thank you so much for everything you do for the field . Leave me alone , man . I don't . I don't need your appreciation , I don't't want it . I'm starting to sweat , my booty is sweating , my lower back is tight , my hamstrings are tight . Nah , man , nah . But you , you're like , ah , let's walk around and get some water and talk to people . And I'm sitting there like get me behind the closest locked door . I only want it locked from the inside , I don't want anyone to have access to it . Let me hurry up and eat this key , bruh , bruh .
Speaker 1And the meet and greets afterwards . Know , man , like it's man , it's so tough for me , man , it's so tough , I know it is , I don't , I don't watching you in the corner of my eye , like I don't like the attention , I don't like people like then , you know , like the appreciation and the . You know , like I can I take a picture with you . It's cool , man , it's cool , I get it .
Speaker 1I understand that , like , at this point in our careers , we're like known people and like it's hard for us to go to conferences and , like you know , it's impossible and not and not not . And I know , like you know , jerry and Yalom and Bob Wobeding and all these people have like kind of coached us into like you know what it's going to be like . You remember ACA 2016 and they were like you know , this is you guys is coming out party and there's so many of like the older , the older . Yeah , that was dope . Yeah , man , they kind of like brought us in and was like , hey , this is how you guys handle , this is how you guys handle , yeah , this is how you handle this type of connection with people . You can't just not go to these things because people really want to see People will be disappointed . If you don't go , people will be disappointed and , like you know , I didn't believe it . But you remember that I did not believe it , you know , until we went to Canada and people were like I flew from , like , nova Scotia just to get my book signed .
Introverted Teacher's Conference Experience
Speaker 1Or I flew from Taiwan , yeah , from Taiwan . You know , like , yeah , that kind of stuff makes you and like 12 of my students , but that's why . That's why Because , like , I'm introverted too , you know what I mean . Yeah , but you love it though . Yeah , you love to be on the pedestal . Yeah , yeah , you love it .
Speaker 1Look at his face y'all Look at his face . He can't hide the grin . Oh , he loves it . He likes to bathe in it . If he can bottle it , he would take a shot . Every day he gets drunk off of it . Look at him . It's like a little hit for him . That's why he was the main one saying , oh , I would love to go to every single state conference . How can I soak up more of this ? This is the only way I'm going to . This is how I stay young . His dreadlocks are starting to glow . Look at him . His locks are starting to glow . That's where he harnesses all the power he does .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm an introvert too . Yeah , I'm an introvert too . Yeah , I'm an introvert . You bust down the door talking about love me , acknowledge me , laugh . Meanwhile I'm skedaddling in the shadows . I really love you , I really love your book . Oh , get going , get back . Nah man , nah man . I just feel like I'm introverted too , man , but I don't get and you get exhausted , you get exhausted . I don't get tired by it , but I don't get charged up by it . You know what I mean . As opposed to Angela like Angela , angela would be buzzing , friend of the cast . As opposed to Angela Like Angela , angela would be buzzing . Angela Weingarten , friend of the cast . Angela would be vibrating , and not because of any insecurity . Angela's one of the most secure people I know . She's always been like this man , but the social butterfly in her , yeah , man , she , jerry , jerry , jerry loves it . Jerry Cole will fly across the country just for that hit . You know he loves it . Man , he's social , you know , he's just social . But you know what I think it is , dog , dog is . I know and we talked about this before , man , we talked about this before I know that there are people who look forward to seeing us and have a different relationship to us than we have to ourselves . Yeah , you know what I mean . Like they have a different relationship to the things that we say you know , then we have , then we have to the things that we say you know . Yeah , I mean there's times , dog , in that conference , there's times that , like you know where , like you know the crowd popped at areas . Yeah , like I wasn't expecting you know what I mean . I'm not saying it to be like because none of that stuff is rehearsed for us . Like we have like notes , like brief , yeah , like plot points of kind of what we might want to talk about , but we don't have like defined . You know there's no power point , there's no , you know there's none of that stuff . There's like barely handwritten notes of our direction that we may want to go in . Yeah , but , but , but I do so . So that's why , that's why , when I'm there , I'm like look man , we only here for a couple of hours , I'm going to go walk around , drink some water , say hey to people if they want to . You know , and I know , and I know cause . You see him , dog , you see him . And I know because you see them , dog , you see them . Remember that there were so many people that came up to us when there wasn't a crowd around us , because they're introverted , yeah , and so I know that there's people at the conference who want to say something but don't want to be around a big crowd , and it does feel like there's a crowd around us all the time . You know what I mean , yeah , and so I try to walk around and be isolated so somebody could come up and be like , hey , yeah , you know , just like you know what that girl said , or what that guy said , dave , you know , I forget where he was from , who , uh , who wanted the shout out ? Remember , we told him he was so excited . Yeah , he was like really , you do that . Yeah , man , david , if you're listening , man , this is your shout out . We saw you at the golden nugget in lake charles . Yeah , you know , you came up and talked to us for a little bit , you know , but he did like he came up when the crowd was low . You know what I mean when you know , and so , um , and so that's , that's , that's why I do it . But but I can feel you , I can remember when we remember , when we were in florida , dog , yeah , that first time it felt like overwhelming . Yeah , you know , yeah , people were videoing us with yeah , just videoing us . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , and that person put their phone in your face . I think they were doing like face , face , they were doing like a face , or I think they were doing like face , face , facebook live or something , or they were doing FaceTime or FaceTime and a friend or something . Yeah , boy , you snatched that phone and chucked that thing . So far , bro , I was like , oh , it's time to go man messing up people's property . But the way she jammed the phone in your face , I was like Whoa property . But the way she jammed the phone in your face , I was like yeah , whoa , yeah , yeah , yeah , that was . That was one of the times where I was like , oh man , oh , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , like back up , like yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . That's why we started to record . That's why we were like , hey , we need like a table with like uh , with like rope with like , uh , you know , preferably with the back to our wall , with the , yeah , with the wall on our back , you know , because , because people will come behind and I don't like , I'm not scared or anything , you know , yeah , it's just , it's hard , it's right , please like , but it's um , it's uh , you , you miss people when they come . Yeah , you know , like , remember when the ac , when the ceo of ac8 wanted to talk to us and he was standing behind us and we couldn't see we were , you know . So it's like stuff like that , that's like yeah , yeah , yeah yeah , I mean it was fun , it was a good conference man , great people , it was such a good conference man , like , I mean my students showed out . Man , like , there's so many awards for like ul students for , for , uh , for the , for the poster presentation , man , for uh , there's uh some some students from uh , some students that did a poster presentation that's graduating . Uh , gabby sonye uh got uh like personally asked to transition or post a presentation into like an educational session , you know , for the next uh , for the next conference , you know . So , just like , you know , just , man , I think when you're a master's student , you feel like you can't be a part of the state or national conferences . You know , and I think our faculty here at UL does a really good job of like , um , supporting , right , all right , I'm just saying , man , we do a really good job of supporting students and you work with you . Well , I'm just saying , you know , and I go cages anyway . Uh , yeah , man , I was , it was a , it was a great conference . Man , I love those statements , those statements , bro , I love the state conferences , man , yeah , so if there's anybody out there that's listening that wants to hire us for a keynote , just shoot us an email , reach out to us . We'd love to jump into one man . So , anyway , anything else from the conference . Well , I was just thinking , man , I don't know , we probably running out of time to talk about the marriage and family stuff . Maybe we'll do it in the next cast , maybe we're doing it again a couple more minutes , man , you think so , yeah , yeah , I mean , I don't think my , my kids are , are , uh , and I just got there about to wake up , but I just got other , I just got other work to do , you know , yeah , you know , some of us , some of us , you know , yeah , well , just touch on it a little bit , bro , just give it a little , a little slap and tickle , man . Just , I don't even know what I really want to say , man , other than like amen , fix your face . If you're a student , fix your face . Nah , I can see you , I can see you . And when you look disgruntled , you look like you're uninterested , you look like you don't want to be there , and then I don't hear your voice and you try to transition from like a student to to like a , a potential graduate , and you look at me like remember me , and I'm like I don't remember you because you didn't say two words in class . I don't even know who you are . Yeah , yeah , that's not what you were trying to say . No , no , I mean , you know . I mean , you know it related . But we did have a student who you know I met with , and it's one of those students , man , that's like , uh , you know , they got stuff going Makes them not feel like they can be a part of the community , you know . But you know that , man , they would be a cornerstone , a pillar in the counseling program if only . But they had the courage , you know , yeah , after the conversation , the student did show the courage and got involved and it was like it changed the dynamic . It changed the dynamic . It changed the dynamic . Man , yeah , change the dynamic , but no , I guess what I really want to say is like , hey , man , marriage and family is hard bro , hard , hard . It's complicated man . Uh , yeah , and I think I may have messed up a little bit in maybe not providing the full informed consent that maybe I should have , you mean , to a client or to a student , to a student . Long story short , I taught theories and then there we covered the systems class . Man Right , systems theories , systems theory , yeah , and just general systems theory , not any . You know one specific one , but uh , yeah it it impacted people , you know , because it's funny , because I can see all of them . They can't see each other often , you know , because they're just sitting around , you know . But there was , there was a lot of , there was a lot of emotional reactions and I felt like I covered the surface of it , you know . You know the emotional reactions to what ? To ? To just like talking about different patterns and processes and family dynamics and okay , and dysfunction , you know , within systems and I and I and I think I went into it a little naive or are not giving it the full respect that I maybe should have that . You could thrust somebody into awareness by just talking and doing the lecture , and I know other council educators have experienced that too . Council educators probably other council educators have experienced that too . You know , like you're teaching a particularly tough subject and then , yeah , you realize it's having more of an emotional impact on the students . Oh yeah , and oh yeah , this was sometimes . Sometimes your share is like I shared a story about a previous client , right , and the story was like really harsh , yeah , yeah , you know , and like yeah , and you know it had some really like trigger warning stuff involved in it . But to me it was just like a regular client case that happened 10 years ago , that you don't think about it . It fit for what we were talking about in lifespan , you know . And so like I , you know , I'm just kind of like sharing it and afterwards there's this like dead space and I'm like whoa , was that like ? What was that like for y'all to hear ? Yeah , you know , and the students are you're not gonna tell the students like processing their own stuff , you know , and like that look of like what did I get myself into ? Like what kind of field is this ? Yeah , I don't want to . I don't want to hear about that , yeah , but I was like you thought I wanted to hear about that . No , it's just something that happens to us , yeah , yeah , yeah , you , just , you just hear about that on a tuesday , yeah , you know . Yeah , man , I don't know . I mean , there's not really much to talk about , there's not much to say , just just , just , like that was , that was part of that experience , man and and , uh , you know , I guess , if there's a list not there , who , who you know , who maybe have you know , gone through things , especially if you haven't been to therapy , you know , and then you're going to go to a program like us , you know , like you know , like my program , university of Maryland , baylor , the kind of program that we , you don't have that depth , that deep growth . You know what I mean . Some would even say that we're a crucible . You know we hold and fortify and change and strengthen and sharpen . You know , test and make , remake , mold , shape . You know . Yeah , anything else you got anything else . You know . I was wondering if you had time to add some more to it . No , I think that's it . I think you get the picture . Okay , yeah , I think you get the picture . Okay . Yeah , I think you get the picture . Yeah , speaking of pictures , we're like a frame . You know we sit there and no , but if you go , if you go to a program with some depth in it , you know like , hey , man , you know , like you cannot escape it . You know , yeah , and all I want to do is check in with all of the students , you know , but I won't because , because I , because I know they got that dog in them . Yeah , I know , I know , I know they do , I know they do . But it's one of those things where , uh , where you are teaching , and while you're teaching , you're looking at the students and the students are like they're listening to what you're saying , but they're also like applying it to their own process , their own life . You know , and they're processing it because , like , they're trying to make sense of it . So the only way to make sense of it is to it's still through their own filter , through their own experience . Yeah , so , so , because of that , they have their own new awarenesses , you know , and , like you can , you can see that in real time in , yeah , but you know . So sometimes I'll ask a student like , whoa , what was that facial expression about ? Or like , what was that about . It seems like you were thinking about something or whatever you know , and it'll take it on a completely different tangent sometimes , you know , that makes me think . I guess what I really want to say is you're not alone , you know , like you're not alone , well , I mean existentially you are , and you will die alone and the world will keep spinning and you will eventually be forgotten . But yeah , you're not alone in class . Yeah , I mean alone in class . Yeah , I mean yeah , but yeah no . But I mean , yep , theoretically sure , but no , it's not , not theoretically , it's pretty , it's a surefire thing . You will be forgotten . All of the things you care about will also be forgotten . I guess what I really want to say is that , like , other people felt those feelings too . You know , like that's that's what I mean . You know that , like it's , if you , if you leave , if you leave those classes , and you feel like , well , I'm weird . Nah , you just couldn't see the other person crying . You didn't see the person get up and go to the bathroom and cry . You know , one of the one of the best thing , one of the my most favorite things that happens in class is when , when you get students , feel , wow , okay , let me start that over again . One of my favorite things in class that happens is when students feel comfortable enough to start sharing personally some of their experiences and how that relates , because , man , it's such a teachable moment it's always a teachable moment . It's such a teachable . It's so frustrating when students are like , oh , I'm feeling something but I'm not going to share it because I don't think it's going to apply to the class . Yeah , you know . Or like I don't , I don't want , I don't want , my , I don't want these students at this cohort to know me in that way . You know , I guess that's their right , you know , but like it's , it's such a frustrating part of like students Just the developmental process , yeah , frustrating part of like students Just the developmental process . Yeah , yeah , it's such a frustrating part of that , you know . And like they , just you know , they leave the rest of their classmates with this like , like wanting , yeah , with this emptiness , oh , like you could have shared something that could have been enriching for the whole class , but like you're not going to share anything , you know , because you just don't feel like you want to share . Come on , what are you doing in this program ? Why are you here ? Anyway , man , that's all I wanted to say hey , listen man , listen , listen , hey bro . Hey , man , we got to get some guests on . I got like five people who want to come on , man , like five people who want to come on , man , five people want to come on . Uh , I got some supervisees , I got some some friends . I got some colleagues . I got you know , I know , uh , you don't have anybody because you're not close to anybody . Really , actually , actually , I got some . I got , I think I want to introduce some of my faculty members on there . There's one faculty member that I would love to have on . When is it going to stop ? But I know that if Booj comes on , bro , if Booj comes on here , there will be nothing . That's going to get done . There's nothing . There is no . We only got room for two cool yawns . It's just going to be straight buffoonery on the microphone . Yeah , it's not . Yeah , this is going to get done , man . So I don't know , I don't know . But yeah , bro , I'd love to have some more guests on man . Yeah , line them up , bro , and maybe , hopefully , if you can find some regularity in your schedule , then you know , maybe we can invite people on and start putting out this cast consistently , hey , man , because you don't see the numbers and I do . There's been a massive influx of listeners . I think people are actually listening to this . Nice , yeah , yeah . So we can't go two weeks , you know , without putting a cast out man . You think I like this . You think this is what I want for myself ? I think so . You think I'm choosing this . I think you love having the interim associate dean tagline on your email because you love the power that it gives you . Yeah , you love it . You love it . Again . If they would have told you you can be the interim associate dean but you can't tell anyone , you'd have been like oh no , I can't take that position . I can't do that . I need to get out in the community and let people know I'm associate dean . Yeah , I couldn't wait to put it on a mug . I need new business cards . What's that ? I just I mug . I need new business cards . I just IAD . I need new business cards right now and I love the interim because it makes it longer . So people will think that it's like better . Yeah , yeah , you love it . You love it . You love an indented line or like a second line Separation . Yeah , hyphen , uh-huh . Yeah , it's like the boy took the NCE and the CPCE and he put all the acronyms on his tagline , all of them . The CPC didn't do nothing for his career . It did Not a single thing for his career . Remember when we were trying to write that book for Springer ? Yeah , remember when we were trying to write that book for Springer and testing , remember , yeah , yeah , somebody , somebody has to take the CPC . You took , you took the test to write the book and you still put the acronyms on your tag . So we can get the . So , so we can get the , so we can get the notoriety for the book . Yeah , see , that's what it's all about . You see , you heard it here . First , the notoriety , that's all he's after . That's all he's after , ladies and gentlemen . Yep , that's it . I'm too tired , I'm too tired to fight , I'm too tired to fight anymore , jarius , I can't fight it anymore . Well , just let it happen . Yeah , let it happen , man . Anyway , what's some checkout stuff for you ? But real quick , be brief , because I'm tired and I want to go eat the kids' snacks while they're sleeping . Go camping this weekend , that's it . Take the kids camping , man , go to the park camping , some kind of city thing . It should be fun . It's food . Hey , how many mosquito bites do you think you're going to come out with ? It's going to be bad . Okay , for real , I got all kinds of stuff Thermosel , deep Fog , I'm about to . Yeah , I heard , if you rub yourself in bacon grease it keeps the mosquitoes away , but you may have to fight coyotes all night . The mosquitoes just slide on off . You know , we got that sweet blood . If you put baking grease all over yourself , the mosquito's cholesterol will be so high the mosquito's going to be like I don't even know how it works . I don't even think that's how cholesterol works . Blood's going to be so viscous , some thick blood . Why is his blood yellow ? He's got a smokiness . A smokiness to his blood . What is that ? Must taste hints of apple . What is this ? Why does his blood taste like rub ? What is this ? He got a marinated one y'all . He's just stupid , bro . Let's end this cast before we both get fired . Dog , let me check out . Man . I got nothing . Man , it's getting a little cool here . Man , we got a movie night tomorrow , some hot cocoa . We're doing some painted pumpkins . You know , I'm looking forward to trick-or-treating man . Our neighborhood goes forward to trick-or-treating man . Our neighborhood goes hard for trick-or-treating man . Yeah , man , looking forward to it . Anyway , this has been the Twin Therapist Podcast . Welcome to the new listeners . If you're new to this cast , we're going to try to be a little bit more consistent . If you're old , you know we're lying . We're going to try to be a little bit more consistent . If you're old , you know we're lying . We ain't about to make us think . You did say try , hey , but let's let the new listeners think when you get it , you get it . You know , when you're upset about it , you make a podcast . Man , you make a podcast , you upset about it , you make a podcast , you make a podcast . We trying our best over here . Man , hey , man , yeah , come on , man , yeah , come on , man . Look , from month to month we change from weekly to bi-weekly , to tri-weekly , to tri-left to tri-farter . I like that . The date now is like oh , november 30th I mean September 30th man , maybe we're in the middle of October right now . Man , ooh , we're in the middle of October . Middle of October , man , yeah , yeah , semester's flying by . I still have assignments that I need to grade from two weeks ago . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . If we , if , if , if we make it through this semester alive , you know , uh , yeah , man , I just can't wait for , uh , for cooler weather , you know , for it to not be 98 degrees outside , you know . Anyway , all right , man , all right . Well , we'll see y'all next week , maybe , I don't know . Bye y'all , thank you .
