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Transcript

The Podcast Prodigal Sons Return

Speaker 1 0:13

all right , man , you ready ? You want to welcome them to the cast ? I don't . I feel so embarrassed Like . I feel like you know those clients who's like hey , man , like , are we like , are you still practicing ? Like , golly , it's been that long . Nah , you're asking if I'm still practicing . Nah , man , I feel like we're those clients where they only call you when their life is in absolute shambles . You know what I mean . Like you get an email from her , it's like , oh , what happened ? There's like a lawsuit brewing or like a child custody case brewing or something you know , and they're just trying to get on your books or look like they were like doing something . That's how we are with the podcast , bro . It's like , at this point I feel like the listeners should know that when we do a cast , it's a cry for help . It's a cry for help . It's a cry for something man , yeah , when y'all see us , yeah , if y'all hear , if you are listening to the cast now and the next time you see us or hear us , or just pass by the office , bring snacks , yeah , something . Bring snacks , coffee , well , wishes , something , man , or something man , yeah , yeah , no , it's been . Yeah , that's . It Is our deepest apologies .

Speaker 1 1:40

Speaking of deep . Speaking of deep , hey man , what's wrong with you ? What you mean ? You just sound and also look like hot garbage . Oh , it's because I started 75 hard . Oh , and wait , watch this . Watch this One , two , three , four .

Speaker 1 1:56

I hate it .

Speaker 1 1:57

I hate it .

Speaker 1 1:59

I hate it . I hate it . I hate it . I hate it , dr Austin , I hate it . I hate it . I hate it , dr Austin , I hate every yeah man . For those of you who didn't get that reference , it's from doing that thing you do , but I hate it . I hate it . Mr Playtone , I quit Mr Playtone , whatever it was , yeah , no , I hate it . Man , yeah , my man , there's just so much water you have to drink . Man , yeah , man , it looks like your body's in shock right now . Oh my God , man , yeah , yeah , it doesn't help . That , like the lighting makes it look like I'm a captor in my own house . Yeah , man , I was about to say man Slink twice . Yeah , bro , anyway , anyway , welcome back to the cast . Welcome back , man , welcome back to the cast . We know , we already know , we know and we're sorry . Okay , yeah , okay , is that good enough ? We're only going to say it one time . That's all you're going to get from us . We know and we will do better . That's it , okay , all right , All right . Okay , okay , all right , that's it All right . All right , man , we've got a lot of stuff to cover today , man , and we only got like a little bit of time because you're trying to be a good father and go pick your children up from school . Yeah , man , I'm trying to golf course and I need a six footer to drop the good dad . Karma will just help . One more rotation , help the ball fall in , because that's how you can tell if you're a good dad . If you're a good dad , go to the course , play around . If things go your way . You wasn't a good dad that week , okay , yeah , if it doesn't go your way , something's off . If it goes your way , keep doing what you're doing . Yeah , yeah , you know , yeah , yeah . No easy way to tell yeah , man , no , I , uh . I feel like we got a lot , a lot to cover , man . We got some . I mean , it is a uh , I don't know a stoppage in my email , uh , all the listener mail that's like been kind of trickling through over the past couple of weeks . You know , at this point it's just are y'all okay ? Are y'all okay ? Certainly not . So we got that to cover and we got some check-ins to do too and we got to talk about the end of the year stuff and all kinds of stuff , man . So how about we start with ? Like you , man , how's your family doing , how's everybody

Family Updates and Growing Kids

Speaker 1 4:30

doing over there ? Everybody's good , thank you . What about you ? Okay , man ? Nah , bro , we're doing good , man , we're transitioning . You know , uh , in the summertime , uh , kian just finished kindergarten , y'all do a graduation over there . I don't actually know , I should probably know , I should probably know , just , yeah , I should probably know . I don't know , um , but if we do , then yeah , we're going to it , man , and uh , valen finished pre-k one , uh , and look , ages , you know , valent , yeah , he's like valent , it's like the most , he's just he , he is coy and shy , and you know he , just , you know , yeah , um , man , bruh , when I tell you that , because we , we , you know , they have a little graduation thing , he wasn't graduating , he's in pre-k one , but they do like pre-k one , pre-k two and then , and then you're going to kindergarten , so they graduate , you , right , it's pre-k one , and apparently he had to learn like a song and and all kinds of stuff , right , so , real quick , we were psyched out . Do you want to go to this thing or no , because you're on the stage , a bunch of people second , all of the families taking pictures . You're like you want to go to this thing . And he's like yeah . And I looked at lindsay and I was like , should we go ? Like I mean , he's just he's not gonna do it , he's not gonna want to do it , we're just gonna end up holding him right . Yeah , man , when I tell you that ball went up on that stage and sang this little lot of mine , for real , his whole soul . He reminded me of ropy . Wow , genuinely , I was like wow , is this ? Is this it ? Maybe it's happening , maybe it's turning the corner ? Yeah , dog . And then afterwards we were home and we have like a little ukulele . You know , the kids just play around with it . Anyway , he picked up that ukulele and I was just watching him , I was in the garage cleaning up , you know , and he picked up the ukulele without me and he goes , this little line of mine , and I was like , and he strummed , he strummed the ukulele . I was like fallon , you gotta go show mommy this . Yeah , yeah . So I don't , I don't know . Man , this has been an awesome year for him and you know the kids . Today , kian is wearing his little kindergarten shirt . You know they have a little kindergarten squat shirt , yeah , and uh , so you get to see kindergarten squat , squat shirt , squad , squad , okay , okay , yeah , hey , like dang , they're doing squats , kindergarten squats guy , man , he's in the thousand pound club . Golly , training never ends , man , it never ends , don't you got another kid though ? Uh , who , who's that ? Okay , never mind . Yeah , nah , man , shia was doing good . Bro , he's walking , talking , growing teeth , eating man , he just vomited on me yesterday . No big deal , nah , he's doing good , man , he's doing good . Bruh Bruh , bruh , bruhi's sitting on me , kofi's our two-year-old right Two-year-old son and he's sitting on me for the listeners . You know , I know you don't really know my children that well , but I try not to . Yeah , I get it . Yeah , but no , he's sitting on me . Man , he's potty training right . So we got him some underwear on and man , he stays dry all day in his underwear , all day , but then , like every once in a while , he'll just have a little potty accident , bro . So he's sitting on my leg right and I'm looking at him . He's looking at me and I'm like I'm feeling something wet on my leg . I'm like what is you know ? All right . Hey , kof , are you pottying ? He goes , yep . I said , come on , kov Yep , come on Kov Yep . He goes . Sorry daddy , sorry daddy . So he gets off of me and what he does is when he parties on himself he gets completely naked . Yeah , as you do . He gets completely naked and then he holds his pee , pee , yeah , okay , it's like time to get naked dog . So I'm full of piss , full of it . Right , he's butt ball booty naked , bro . I'm like , bro , like , what should you do first ? Should you change him Scenes ? Should you change him ? Change yourself ? Got to put the oxygen mask on first , man , the oxygen mask yourself first . Nope , what I did was I cleaned up the pee on the floor , got him changed . I mean just sopping wet . You know just , oh , man , yeah , so he's doing well party training . You know , you know , zuri , zuri's our , she's our . Almost almost two months now , man , almost two months , bro , almost two months now . Damn man Doing well , bro , getting bigger , like just getting bigger , bro , starting to smile at you now . You know , yeah , you know , just a little shadow . Yeah , you know just a little shadow . Yeah , you know , just a little , yes , a little dark spot , you know . So , um , we got robie , robie six . She's going into , uh , uh , first grade , so she's graduating from kindergarten too . You know , uh , crazy man , yeah , man , they do this little like light ceremony where oh , yeah , you told me about that . Yeah , we're at the kid's school where uh , the , the kindergarten students who's graduating to first grade and the eighth graders who's graduating to high school . High school , they do like a little like handoff type , like lighting the candle type , yeah , like lighting the candle type of thing . You know , um , yeah , it's really dope . I mean , there's never a dry eye in the house . Yeah , for never drying for sure , um comes at you fast , man , yeah , man . And then we got , we got cairo . Who's just like they're killing it , man , like cairo played like four sports this year , like uh , um it like uh went to the ar party for like reading a bajillion words , you know , and uh , he made uh , um , I think it's like a 3.8 or something . Uh , he had to go to like the I forget what you call it like the honor roll party or the principal's party , whatever , it's good , the pizza , it's like the pizza party . Yeah , well , they do a hall , this guy man , the kids school do like they do a whole event , like they get parents to volunteer to do a little show in front of the kids and the whole school is invited . But the kids who have a specific GPA has , like , they have like different type , different color t-shirts on . So like , 4.0 is what we're like , a yellow t-shirt and 3.8 is a blue t-shirt , whatever , you know . Yeah , and they do like prizes . So , like the volunteer parents and teachers , like they'll play like a song and then they'll just come out from the back and start throwing prizes at people . It's so Talking about iPads , so dope , what kind of prizes are you talking about ? Well , you know Cars , the type of I know the kind of school you go , I know the kind of school y'all go . I should say that they're throwing out loans . Yeah , they're low interest rates , high credit scores throwing them out . Yeah , for sure . Yeah , that's cool . Yeah , every once in a while they're sneaking a candy , but yeah , for the most part it is , uh , country club memberships , and you know it's just . You know I'm sorry , man , the goal in life is to do well . You know I'm sorry . Am I overcharging my clients for the amount of work that I put in tariff sessions ? For sure , for sure , for sure , absolutely , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , for sure , can I be sued ? What are you gonna do ? You know daddy likes to eat steak every night . What are you gonna do ? You know his kids , kids , his kids need things . No , man , yeah , that's the kids . So let's , let's , get into some of the stuff you wanted to check in about . Man , yeah , yeah , man , you just finished , like , your little tour of duty . Tour of duty , it's not the same .

Life After Administration: Freedom Reflections

Speaker 1 12:15

Oh man , yeah , bro , I'm free . Yeah , I'm free . They take the shackles off your feet so you can dance , bro . Man , two years , two years in Associate Dean . I went to the dark side for two years , as many of you guys know , and look , man , it was an experience . That boy became a nine to fiver . Well , the funny thing is is that , you know , because I had the two jobs , it was really A staff member . It was really hard to like , genuinely hard to like navigate . Where should I be at ? You know what I mean , like , should I be in this office ? Should I be in that office ? Like how much time should I spend here ? So you told each job that you were at the other and you went to Walmart and you got your bag of Hershey nuggets and you went and played golf , set my car on , cry , yeah , yeah , yeah . And when I get missed calls , it's like oh , you got me in the other office . I'm across campus Because , yeah , I was in the other office . That's funny , because I'm in your other office . Wait , what other office are you in ? What other office when you at right now ? Nah , man , it was good , I learned a lot , dog , one of the biggest takeaways and we're gonna have to do this in another cast , bro is and I sound old saying this man , like I hear it coming out of my mouth , it's not like it was back in the day . Oh , my goodness , is this where we're going , bro ? Listen , listen back in my day , nah , but seriously , seriously , I didn't even have computers in class . I had to fight for my life . Now , here's what I mean , doc . I , doc , there is so much , and probably for a good reason , you know , probably for a good reason that it's lost on me . You know , man , there is so much red tape in between you and a tough conversation . Yeah , yeah , you know that . That's like , that's the . That's one of the biggest takeaways , like talking therapy . You know , you sit with a client . There's no red tape . Yeah , you know you need to tell the client , like you know , uh , I was , uh , I was working with this client around 40 or something . He never really made a relationship work and honestly he's struggling to make our relationship work . Okay , you know what I mean and I can have the hard conversation and say this is why nobody wants to be with you . Like I'm struggling to be with you in this way , you know , and obviously all the relationships yada , yada yada going to be with you in this way , you know , and obviously all the relationships of yada , yada , yada . But like as a , as a associate dean , like you can't just be kicking down people's doors and telling them like , hey , man , be better . Yeah , you know . Yeah , no one , no one likes you , greg . Yeah , you can't . You know , like , hey , students have been complaining and I'm here , you know , like a student comes in and I feel like what I want is to be able to take a student , bring them to the faculty that they're complaining about , and then we all have a conversation about what's going on . You know , I want to be able to walk into a faculty member's office and say , hey , man , this is what I'm noticing to a faculty member's office and say , hey , man , this is what I'm noticing , you know , like , but you can't really do that anymore , or at least it feels like you can't do that without having , you know , like red tape . Yeah , that's a huge thing . When it comes to like , I remember my time being a staff member . Trying to get anything done was always like , you know , you got to . Well , I mean , this person is in charge of , I mean , simple stuff . Like you know , this was this person's in charge of the chairs . So if you want an event in this room , you got to go so and so , yeah , and you know , you go talk to so-and-so , and so-and-so is like when do you need it ? When do you need it ? When do you need it in in two weeks ? How many shares do you need ? Bro , they act like man , they act seriously , like it's , like it's , it's a it's , it's like an act of congress . Yeah , you know , sometimes you know , and sometimes it's not , but sometimes it's just like unnecessary anyway , and so the whole thing boils down to I wish that I had more time and I wish that I had more freedom . You mean like and is this the cry for help you were talking about , or no , okay , okay , I didn't know you were talking about , like I said that with your family , or I've said this before to you man , look , should I , should I text lindsey or no ? No , I said this before . Man , look , you give me five unfireable years , yeah , you know . Hey , five , five , get out of jail free , five , five . Turn the other way , dog . If they give you five , get out of jail free like unfireable years . Hey , that faculty intramural team is going to be legit . You're going to get D1 athletes . Why are all of your adjuncts D1 athletes ? He can't teach . Why are they all passed ? He can't teach , but past all Americans . Have you seen his fastball ? Though he's a switch hitter , man , I don't know . He can't teach , he's got a criminal record . But have you seen this vertical , a doctorate from Regent University somewhere , oh , man , etched on you know hardwood ? It's like , yeah , okay , yeah , but let me see that jump shot . Welcome to the team , welcome , here's your office , welcome to the faculty . You got some sides on , you , don't you ? Anyway , man , I learned a lot . It was really dope to be you , to be part of faculty and stuff . I wish I could have advocated for more . I wish I could have did more stuff , but you're pulled in two different directions , and I think the students are Would you ever do it again ? Yeah , I think I would , man , but it's so hard to keep up the two jobs . You just feel like you're neglecting everybody . Yeah , you know what I mean . Yeah , like yeah , and I think that's what I'm , that's what I'm tired of , man . Yeah , that's what your students have been saying to to be quite frank , I know , because they tell me yeah , a lot of students . Yeah , I don't know how you're raising your students , but in my program we encourage genuineness and honesty , you know , and I'm teaching them . You know , I'm teaching my students , and then they flip it on me . You know , I don't know , man , and they say stuff like Dr Austin , if you could wake up in the morning and everything would be perfect , what would be the first thing you'd notice ? I don't know , man . What I would notice is that y'all got a high turnaround rate over there . You got faculty members leaving left and right . I just fail them . I just fail them , bro . I just fail them . I just fail them . I just fail them . I mean what I , what I , what I hear , is that there's trouble in paradise . You know , yeah , nah , man , well , I , I just finished , like my first year here at UL and , yeah , what I learned is is oh , man , what I learned is , uh is , oh man , what I learned is that , bro , a lot of stuff , man , one it's . It is so like gratifying to be on a , to be at a job where you're not like looking over your shoulder . You know , like you know , I've had jobs where they were like , hey , can you let us know what your car making model is so we can check to see if you're on campus ? Yeah , you know , it's like what . The micromanagement ? Yeah , you know , like you know , I've had jobs like that man in higher ed . You know where I'm , like , where else would I be ? I don't , I'm , you know . Uh , yeah , you know . And so , to have a job like this where , like you know , not only do the faculty get along but like , uh , it's just a really , it's just a really unique environment , you know to like to , to , to , to be in at this , like time in my life , you know , with , like the kids , and like the freedom to like say no to stuff , you know , and like it's just , yeah , it's just , it's just dope bro , so that , and also with with the students , man , it's , it's cool to see how , uh , like students kind of know what they're missing . You know , like no programmers , oh no , no program is perfect , you know , but no , you know , but it is . It is cool to like , as a faculty member , to kind of sit back and be like hey , man , what do y'all like , what do y'all need ? Yeah , that's the luxury of being a new faculty . Yeah , yeah , you have like an outsider perspective , yeah , yeah , yeah . So it's weird . It's weird that , like you know , I've been a faculty member for years and years and years , but like I and experience to implement it , it's something that yeah , it's dope , man , amen . Can you say the word experience again ? Because the way you said it it was like southern Louisiana , oh my bad . Because you said experience . You said experience ,

Faculty Life and Campus Politics

Speaker 1 22:06

you didn't say experience , it's coming out of me , man , yeah , because that's what you will . Yeah , man , like you just took a shot of rue and you said experience , man , it's coming out of me , bro . I can't help it , dog , sometimes I can catch it and sometimes I just , you know , sometimes it just morphs out of me , man . Yeah , I'm cool man . I hear that they're lucky to have you . I don't believe it . I guess I'll see it when I see it . But I just know this when they move you out of that coffin office , you in , that's when you can say that you've made it . I actually like my office , but you know , I don't know how you can move in that place . I mean , you know , dad's got a little dump truck behind him , but I can still move around . You know A little dumpy behind me , but yeah , I , just when you are , when your knees , when your knees are touching another , another student , that's when , yeah , man , I uh , maybe they'll appreciate you I just , I , just , I just undo my hitch before I walk in there , just , let me see , let me , let me say this , let me say this If you feel unappreciated , I know a place . Oh yeah , I know a place . Oh yeah , I know a place . I don't think y'all can treat me as well as us . I'm not saying we , you put that out there . I'm just saying , if you're feeling called to it , I know a place where let's just say you have friends , yeah , yeah , yeah . Anyway , I mean , I appreciate that I don't have to respectfully decline . I didn't . That was no offer . Yeah , with respect , no , again , your unconscious is telling the tale , because there was no offer . It seems like there's an undercurve here . I don't know , bro , you adding all that stuff in . I should say this too , that you know , if you ever feel like the Lord is calling you home , come on , man , come on , bro . You know it's interesting , it's interesting that you Come on , man , come on , bro , you know it's interesting , it's interesting that you would say that , bro , I understand . Anyway , man , all right , moving on , thank you . So we got some listener questions , right , um , that I kind of want to run past you , man , because , like you know , it's , it's a , it's a , it's clogging up my email , right , yeah , so let's like we got about what ? Five minutes maybe ? So , yeah , five minutes . Let's like we got about what ? Five minutes Maybe . So , yeah , five minutes . Let's like rapid fire . This because I feel like if we don't get through this , we're never going to get through it . Yeah , and then afterwards we can talk a little bit about the Business of Counseling Summit on May 30th . Yeah , yeah , yeah , because I know you got to get your commercial in . You can't , you can't , oh , yeah , yeah , bro , that boy , all right , all right . Every time , you know we should start a new song for this podcast . It's like money , money , money . It's not about money , bro , it's about education . It's about helping the people . It's about people helping people . You know it's provocative , I'm just saying it is May 30th , the business of counseling summit , live Q and a two , 30 Eastern time . Uh , log in , register , sign in , plug in , tap in , sit in and and learn me and yours truly spreading the wisdom . Hold on , let me the wisdom . Hold on , let me gospel . I'm going to cut this out the cast . So we're not getting paid for this . No honorary to be had , golly man . Not even an Amazon gift card . I think we get a firm handshake thumbs up , alright . Well , here's some listener . Not even a amazon gift card . No , I think we get a firm handshake man , all right . Well , all right man . So here's , here's some . Here's some listener , some listener questions , bro . Uh , we got about one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight , nine , ten , eleven , a lot . Pick these , random or something . Uh , no , this is just like in the order that they came in the in the . We're not going to get to all of them because people just write in . You know , sometimes people write in like , hey , you know , I just want to let you know I really appreciate you more than your brother . You know some people write in like , hey , what are you going to break off and do your own cast because he's holding you back ? Just , you know stuff like that , super specific , yeah , just stuff like that . But I didn't want to bring that to the cast . All right , man , let's start from the bottom , because that's the most recent one . This is from Kyle . It says do I really need therapy ? Dog , dog , no , no , no , that's a good question . Okay , what's the ? Or Do I really need therapy ? Or ? I didn't read these questions . So do I really need therapy or should I just sage my chakras and keep journaling ? Be honest ,

Real Talk: Therapy Questions Answered

Speaker 1 28:11

sage my . I just honestly . I just had this conversation with the client , like maybe like 20 minutes ago . Okay , you know where I mean seriously and like really quickly , because I know how you are with time . Look , hey , listen , if we , if me and Juz , are ever in a guest lecture together and you're watching us , you best believe Juz is texting me to stop talking . Oh my God , always and forever . This falls right into the next question . So the next listener question . I talk in appropriate amount of time . I wouldn't have to talk so much if you wouldn't leave my brother , if you wouldn't leave the listeners my brother Listen if you wouldn't leave the listeners so dehydrated of knowledge , so so , so , malnutrition I think this is the topic for another cast because if you wouldn't leave them , so , so , so , so perilous , I'm only texting you on the verge . I'm only texting you because the , the , the , the participants , that the people who are in the crowd , if you wouldn't leave them on the precipice of of of passing out , I wouldn't have to share so much , but anyway . So , kyle with the with the crystals question , man , yeah , no , no , sometimes you don't , yeah , sometimes you don't . There's times where , seriously , I wonder , like , if you got yourself a nice , like , if you , if you saved and you spent 75 bucks , if you , if you went thrifting and then you got those clothes tailored and you just felt good , yeah , you know what I mean . Like , if you spent the money doing that . Or , instead of coming to see me , you just went and got a massage . Well , sometimes people aren't . Sometimes people like , I guess the you know , the cool thing to do nowadays is to like go to therapy , you know , yeah , but like , sometimes people aren't like ready for therapy . Exactly , they need to like drink water , maybe go to sleep on time , like , first order , change stuff , some of the stuff that like just , yeah , eat healthier , you know , just like , make those little changes . And yeah , you can do that in therapy too , for sure , you know . But like , but sometimes people come into therapy and they're like , you know , I want to talk about my mom . Well , I mean , but you're not sleeping though , you know , and like you're not , you're not taking care of yourself and and you don't have and you don't have to come in , perfect , you know what I mean . But I'm , I guess , when I'm , please don't , because you know how else , how else am I going to pay for , for this private school ? It's just fun , it's just fun , you know . But anyway , um , nah , I I do think sometimes , like , especially , you know , like sometimes clients want to dive deep , and you know really , and sometimes , like dog , you really just need to stop thinking about this and I go on a vacation . All right , here's the next one . This is somebody actually from Louisiana . This is Shana . She says she's from Shreveport and it was right up what we're talking about . She says , okay , if y'all are twins and therapists , who therapizes that's a word who therapizes the therapist when y'all get on each other's nerves , when , like me , and you get on each other's nerves , yeah , when me and you get on each other's nerves , like what ? I guess she's asking , like , what happens ? Who kicks it ? Who kicks into therapy mode ? No , I think it's like you know who . Uh , I just don't understand what you're saying , dog , she's from shreveport , bro , this is what you get . This is what you get . She's from streetport . Come on , man , are you upsetting the whole demographic ? I'm just saying , man , she's from streetport , if you , if you have any quarrels about that , fight me . You know where my office is . Like , anyway , man , yeah , I guess she's . Like , you know who therapizes a therapist . You know y'all get on each other's nerves . Well , like , I don't know , there's , no , there is no possible way I can get on your nerves . This is no way , okay , um , moving on , um , yeah , there's no way , man , because I don't think we have enough time to to , not , I think here's what I hear the undertone , and you can tell me if I'm wrong . That's the undertone of the question I'm hearing , right , like , can you turn it off ? Well , yeah , but I mean , you know , like , or is there an appropriate amount of time where , when you're having a disagreement with somebody and you're a therapist , you can , you use your skills . But if we make it even more personal to like me and you like , yeah , dog , you do stuff that irritates me and I do stuff that irritates you . But I think we know each other so well , you know to where it's like I can , I can kind of say like hey , man , like when we go up there , this is the point where you're gonna be , you're gonna be flapping them gums and I'm gonna have to , I'm gonna have to pull on your little coattails and be like hey , man , no , nobody cares about bonova , canova , fanova , denova , canova's cannolis leg is in five , nobody cares about nobody . Like you're going , you're going overboard with the . Well , well , if you carry the one and you plus the two and you put the and the z score , see what the z score is and the t scores , there's a difference between the and . Then you have the non-dominant variant of the variance dominance and then like jeez man . So I'm sorry , I just want to learn and teach people . Bro , y'all should see our text thread . During these conferences I'll be in capital letters , shut UP , shut UP , and I'll be responding with see , that's why nobody loves you . You see , when they call my name . People clap when they call your name . Nobody says that's why I'll be . I'll be saying some eloquent stuff . I look down at my phone after I'm done and I hear all I see is you're adopted . Golly , you got . You got time for one more or you need to dip . I do need to leave , but let's do one more , okay , um , okay , here we go here's . This is from tasha , okay . So I mean , we got so much mail I'm gonna have to , we're gonna have to do like another cast and like really , really get through some of this stuff . But this is Tasha . Tasha says y'all ever had a client you low-key , didn't like , like , be honest , like you're still ethical , but if they cancel , you ain't mad . This is an easy answer for me . I don't know what it is for you . I've never had a client I didn't like . That I didn't tell , which then turned the client into somebody I liked , and I don't have to like everybody to work with them . You know what I mean . But if there's something that I'm experiencing that makes me not want to be with the client , I tell them . And you know why , dog , that's how I take care of myself . Man , seriously , you remember that one client that I had tell them . You know , and you know why , dog , like that , that's how I take care of myself . Man , yeah , seriously , you remember that one client that I had at the clc in our master's program , the one who drove that porsche and tried to pay me like 200 a session , yeah , yeah , yeah , you know which was extremely hard not to take , but you know it was a free clinic that we were working in . You remember that dude , like it's not that I didn't like him , is that like I don't think he cared if I liked him or not . You know , yeah , I don't think that was like fundamental to our relationship and I think that was a learning point for me of like , oh , you don't have to like everybody to work with them . Like you don't have to like their political views , you don't have to like their you know stance on . You know , name it , name whatever it is . You know you don't have to like that , but do you like , if there's a client that you don't like and they show up and you have to work with them and you don't tell them you don't like them , you just keep working with them . Mm-hmm , Do you not think about that all the time ? It for sure influences the way that I feel about the client . You know , All the time it for sure influences the way that I feel about the client . You know , yeah , but , like man , there's some clients that like , there's some clients that it takes a fair amount of relational capital to be able to say , you know , these are the parts of you that really kind of grinds up against I know , you know the parts of me that shows up in the session , I know , not saying that we can't work together , but this is what's happening between the two of us . You know , and I'm wondering if you're noticing this you know , like you don't have that type of conversation with the client , you know , but , yeah , I'm not like , I'm not like , oh , I gotta tell you that I don't like , you see it . But here's the thing , right , because , yeah , relational capital and all of that stuff , and you do it appropriately , you couch it and yada , yeah , right . But seriously , man , if I'm like , you know what this person from shreveport said , you know , like you know , and I don't say anything , I think about it it's like being in a relationship with somebody you don't like but you have to be . You know what I mean . Now it's different . Like if my kids are playing in a softball team or a baseball team and I'm sitting there or a t-ball team and I just don't like one of the other parents , like , I'm not out there , telling that person like , and here's the reasons why , you know , because they're not paying me . You know what I mean . But if a person comes in and they're paying to be in a relationship with me and paying for me to you know , and I don't say , look , let me be honest , just so I'm not just stealing your money , yeah , it's hard for me to be in this relationship . See that ? That , that that word you know it's like it's it's really hard for me to be in a relationship with

Business of Counseling Summit Teaser

Speaker 1 38:14

you because of this . But to flat out say , hey , I don't like you , well , obviously not . You know what I mean . That feels a little too like that's your own stuff getting in the way of the relationship A thousand percent . Yeah , if you're just sitting there , you know what I mean Just throwing haymakers at clients . But I do think that and I know you got a job . But I do think some students get wrapped up in the idea of like if you have a different political opinion than me , if you have a different perspective than me , if you live a different life or religious belief , then , like you know , I don't want to work with you and like , that's just not how we were raised as clinicians , not at all . Yeah , you kind of had to see whatever came in and , honestly , dog and this may be I don't know how the listeners are going to feel about this Uh-oh , but I don't think that that really matters as much as we think it does . Like , when it comes , like the person's , like sexual orientation , their religious beliefs , their political leanings , like do you know what I mean ? Their religious beliefs , their political leanings ? Do you know what I mean ? Really , when you're sitting there and you're trying to empathize , you're trying to personalize the problem , you're trying to flip that personalized problem into a goal , you're trying to put that goal into the structure of a theoretical orientation and then you're trying to move from session to session using that theory , those , those theoretical concepts , as an anchor for each session . It kind of doesn't matter who . You know what I mean . They're such . Now it matters in how they discuss the things right , right and the nuances of it right and then and then how those , how those personal things will influence your relationship with the client and yada , yada , yada , but just for you to do your job . Yeah , yeah , you know , yeah , yeah , well , I mean , that's probably something that we can kind of expound upon next time we do this cast , If there's a next time , when there's a next time , because , yeah , I got to go . But , like I said , just for the listeners , the summit May 30th . On ACS website , business of Counseling , we're writing a book coming out in the spring 2026 , called the Business of Counseling . Come and sign up for it , man . 2.30 Eastern Time . Check out your boys . Holler at your boys . It'll be a live Q&A . We're answering questions from the book . We're answering questions just from our experience . Man , I can promise you it won't be the well here thou hither , thou thou this , it won't . I mean , we're going to plan for it , obviously because ACA , you know , is close to us . You know we don't want to drop the bag . I mean , oh , I mean the relationship , the relationship , sure , sure , but no , it's going to be just like this man . Anyway , I got to go . I got to go . Man , jesus is going to stay on , though . He's going to talk to you guys about correlation of coefficients as well as the qualitative phenomenological methodology . If you guys want to stay on for that , and he's also going to talk to you guys about transactional analysis yeah for sure . And so the games that people play , we're just . I'm just going to read chapter by chapter Just stay on the line . Yeah , just stay on the line . Keep that . Keep that line . Hot , don't go anywhere , we'll be back . All right , bro , I got to go , that was a better one , you .