…it’s been a while

We catch up after the break and get honest about why consistency is hard when we’re juggling teaching, supervision, family life, and actual rest. Along the way we connect youth soccer, counselor training, and conference culture to one core idea: you get better by practicing publicly, not by protecting your ego. 
• why we disappeared and how we’re trying to make the show sustainable 
• family life updates and the reality of running on empty 
• youth soccer sideline culture and what “development” really means 
• why some counseling students thrive when they risk failing in front of peers 
• practice versus game day as a framework for clinical skills training 
• what we noticed at the ACA conference and why students are asking for practical help 
• myths we hear in the field about money, advice, and “two selves” 
• private practice as a long game and why group practice can be a better bridge 
• what we had to unlearn after grad school once we started seeing real clients 
If you have a question for us, just email us at the twintherapist at gmail.com. That is the twin therapists at gmail.com.

If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case  - reach out with the info below: 

https://thetwintherapists.com/

Instagram: thetwintherapists

Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com

Transcript

Back From Hiatus

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Hi. Well, hey man. Hey. Welcome back to the cast. It's been it's been a while. It's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while, man. Yeah. It's been a while. Explain explain that to the to the listeners, man. How have you hindered our return, man? Honestly, I this has been one of those things where students students have have I I had a student and the student knows who she is who found me on the street as I was driving in the campus. Yeah, you were just trying I I heard you were just trying to like get back to your to your wife and kids. Yeah, I was I was just trying to, you know, get yeah, I was just trying to make sure that my students were taken care of. I was trying to be present for my students. And all of a sudden I hear this like Dr.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Austin. Dr. Austin.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Mm-hmm. I was like, it wasn't in the voices this time. It wasn't the voices this time. But you took your medicine. I took the meds, yep. I took the meds. And I had the cognac too that helps. That's not um that's ill-advised. Oh, okay. Yeah, no advice. I'm gonna cut that out. Oh, you oh you mean the cognac um colored shoes you've been wearing? Yes. Yeah, obviously. For sure, for sure. Not the liquor. Yeah. Anyway, uh yeah, man, and so I I turn around and it's a student hanging out her driver's side window. Right. Illegal. When is the when is the hiatus going to be over? Yeah, you know what's funny because I had a student point the same thing out. They said, You you know the title of your last podcast was uh what was out of hiatus? Uh-huh. Uh return or something like that. She was like, and then y'all return and then left. That's no excuse, man. We just be busy. God dog. Like this, I mean, what else what else do you want us to do, man? I mean, honestly, though, it was one of those things where we I think we overcommitted. Overcommitted. We I think we were like, yeah, let's try to yeah, let's try to do this cast once once a week. Once a week, yeah. And then it was like, oh man, I I have the supervision stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like we only said for the one week. Well, I mean for the one hour in the week. And if that one hour was taken, then that was it. Yeah. You know, like there's no other time to record. Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, for sure. So now we got it to where it's like, all right, we're gonna have we got two hours throughout the week to really like talk about the stuff that needs to be talked about, you know. Um I think we want to, you know, transition the cast into something that's a little bit more like, you know, interviewing with like the authors that's like writing new books and doing cool stuff out in the field. We're just trying, we're just doing whatever we I think for I think for me, it's like I want this to feel less like work. Like I don't want this to feel like work. You know what I mean? And so, um, you know, and so we just gonna I don't know. We just gonna try to be more present. I I don't know how else to say it. We sorry, we back. Not back back. Like, don't be like, you know, we we may not cast for another month, you know. But you know, just um stick with us. You know, because aren't you going to like Mexico and then you're going to be able to do that? I'll pocket watch. I pocket watch. I got some travels scheduled, some scheduled trips, you know. It's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. You know, I I can't I can't I can't go, I can't leave. Yeah, you can. We're we're gonna take our yacht to Fair Hope. Um Fair Hope. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And uh we're gonna travel around. Yeah, that sounds like that sounds like some place you're about to be pulled over at. Yeah, what I'm just saying. Is it is it one of those places? Maybe. You know, but it's gonna be hard to get me on my yacht. So it's gonna be hard to find me, yeah. And then we're probably gonna take a private jet to um, I don't know, somewhere in like the Pacific Northwest uh just to hang out there for a little bit, just to escape the summer heat, and then maybe do a week in Paris, and then we're gonna take away. Yeah, but you so you sound like Jerry, you sound like Jerry's self-care plan. Well, we'll be at the conferences, man. You're talking about self-care, room full of people in there, room full of uh starving therapists talking about, but how how do I just how do I just keep my center centered, whole centered in the center of my wholeness center? How do I just take care of the the centerness of my center to say that y'all? I just I just I just clank the crystal. What do y'all do for self-care? Well, I have a two and a four-hour fitness membership.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Like good luck with that. Hope you're taking antibiotics right now.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

We look at him like, dog, put your feet on the ground. Ain't nobody take care of themselves like that, bruh. Not a single person in this room is taking care of themselves like that. Like, well, well, you can do anything for free. Uh you you you you can you can walk on the, you know, it's like, well, you you own that land.

Life Updates And Family Sick Season

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yes, yeah, you can. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. But I mean, hey man, you we got a lot of stuff to kind of talk about today. You know, we got uh talk a little bit about ourselves and what what we've been doing, you know, just like personally, you know, what's been going on for us. And then we'll talk about some stuff that's been going on professionally, so like some stuff that's been going on in our classes, we had a couple conferences, we had a book that was published, uh, we got some stuff that we we're planning on doing, and we'll talk about that, you know, and then we'll um we'll answer some much overdue uh listener questions and um uh some conference questions, some conf some questions that we got from the conference that we didn't have enough time to kind of answer throughout our presentations and stuff like that. So if you went to the conference and you asked us a question and we didn't answer it, this is gonna be the time where we answered it because I wrote it down and I got it. So I didn't write it down and I don't have it, but I just want y'all to know that I wrote it down and and I got it. So man, gee, bruh, gee, gee. What what's been going on for you, man? Well, give give me a daddy not fussing rundown. Man, bruh. I I don't know, man. I don't know about y'all, bruh. You and the listeners. We've been sick this semester, man. Oh, yeah? Yeah, man. Like I don't I don't know what it is, man, but we've had like Doctor Flu, Strep, Pink Eye, uh, everything, man. Everything. Like Yeah. Well, Lindsay, Lindsay called me the other day and said that you had uh something I think it was called the the Don't Wants. No, nah, that ain't me. Have you ever heard that any me? Have you ever heard of that? Nah, that ain't me. And it's a ill it's a illness that it's like it's insidious and it's kinda takes over. Didn't our father first prescribe that to you when we were children? If I remember if I remember distinctly, it was it was summer of ninety-seven, I want to say. That's it. I got diagnosed with the don't want to. This is what I remember. This is what I remember. I remembered daddy cutting grass, not letting us cut the grass, and us having to go behind him and rake all the hay, you know, in the in the field. And I remember I was sitting there with the rake, and we had the wheelbarrow, you know, because it was the wheelbarrow, and we put the thing in there. And I look up and I'm like, where's Julius? He said he went and get another trash bag, you know. But that daddy came back, it was like probably in there sucking up that AC.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

You gotta make it sound so derogatory.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Probably in there hobbling that AC and joking on that AC. Joking on that AC, man. Probably up in there. You know, you know what he you know what he got, JT?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

You know what he got? Because Daddy's not fussing. I'm just telling you right now, you know what he got? Yeah, he got the don't wants. He got the don't wants, you know. He got all but yes. Remember? Oh, it c oh is she insidious. Oh, yeah, don't want to get the don't. Oh, yeah. But you remember how we would take turns? You know, we take turns, it would be like, hey, man, hey. Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom, you do this, I'll be back in like 15 minutes. Yeah, you know, like thirty thirty minutes. I'd be sitting in front of the AC vent, just like Father, please, rapture, please. Get me out of this heat. What'd you say? Oh, I I gotta help me. Yeah, what? Well, look, you know what's bad, Doc, when you look behind you and you just see the heat waves on the field. Just like that's when you hear the trumpets in the background. Yeah, you just you just start hearing that saxophone playing. And you know, and that saxophone, yeah. Brian, you know what's like you know, and obviously we can we can change topics, but one of the most frustrating things about doing that is that he would keep the lawnmower on turtle. Yeah. If you grew up with the turtle and the rabbit, he'd keep it on turtle. Hey man, you know why? Why, bro? So so daddy, daddy found this secondhand John Deere Ryan lawnmower for me, right? Yeah. Right? And I was like, oh man, thank you, man. Yeah, it's a turtle. I was like, because I'm tired of I'm tired of pushing the lawnmower to cut my grass. Well, well, first off, first off, he he talked a lot about your little electric uh lawnmower you could push. Yeah, I was just trying to, I was just trying to be conscious of the environment. Nah, but that lawnmower sounded like Elder Whisper. But I put that lawnmower out of the box and he said, Jewish. What you gonna do with that? He said, he said, Jewish, he said, Jewish, what's that? I mean, what's that? I said Oh, that's a toy.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Oh, that's a no, that's a toy.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

That's uh that's a lawnmower. He was like, for them chili? I said, no. I said, I said, no, that's mine. He said, man, where the gas go? I said, they don't have gas. You put these you put these battery packs. He said, bat? He said, battress? You you got batteries for that thing? No, it's charged by the sun. Man, turn it on. I turn it on, he said, Oh, you gotta push a button. I'll push the button. You know what it's saying? You push the button, it goes, he said, man, it sounds like a fan on. You sure got blades underneath that?

SPEAKER_01 12:28

He got living room blades.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Bruh, so I got tired, I got tired of pushing it, right? So he gave me a John Dare Lawnmore, and he was like, All right now. And you know what he means when he said, All right now, hey, bruh. I talked to a whole bunch of people to get this lawnmower. Don't mess that up. Alright now. All right now means don't die. Don't embarrass me. Don't mess this up. It means Hey, first thing I did was turn that thing on and flip it to rabbit. I flipped it to rabbit. The bottom dropped out of that.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

The belts fell off it.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Don't even have power steering, but the fluid.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

I can't say daddy. He was like, What? I was like, it's not working. It's not I turned it on. He said, What you did? I just left. I was like, it's not working. He was like, Alright, I'm coming back. He came back. He was like, Julius, hey man. Hey, what you did to this thing? I was like, I was just cutting grass. Bro, I put it on a rabbit. I think I rolled over a tree stump or something. Knocked, knocked up, bro. And then I realized I was like, oh yeah, this is this is why he only rolled on turtles.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Yeah, that's why he went slow.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

This is why he went slow. Way more than it was. I know, I know. We have a broken armor. Anyway, anyway, anyway. So y'all were sick on the whole thing. Not just sick, bruh. Not just sick, man, but it was a plague, bruh. I I won't get into the details, but I'm talking three boys, one bucket, type sick. Just in the middle of the living room, just bruh, bruh. Like Lindsay was sick, the kids were sick, all of them at the same time, bruh. Just in the same bucket, man. You're talking about cold blue over there. I need Dr. Atlas. I need who else, bruh. And so we watched, um, we watched uh Rookie of the Year, we watch, you know, those 90s movies, those nine The Mighty Ducks, you know. Um and dog, it just just hung out, man. But that was a couple weeks ago, man, where, whoo, man, but but since then, dog, it's just been like a string of just like, you know, like school sicknesses, you know, just like uh strip and uh pink eye and you know, whatever the case, you know. Conjunctivitis. Yeah, bro. Yeah, I mean, you know them kids be hotboxing each other. Golly, what are they doing? Spotting each other's faces? They're like rats, bruh.

Youth Soccer Sidelines And Sportsmanship

SPEAKER_02 16:10

Just you know, in those words, booty juice booty eyeballs. What's those those those mere cats, you know? Like that, bruh, they're just like in a in a cabal of uh of kids, man. And so yeah, bro, it's press, man. But other than that, bruh, um yeah, kids on the same soccer team this semester. And so a couple couple games in, and uh, we got some dogs, man. We got some dogs, bro. We got some dogs. But but I wanted to talk to you, because we talked about this a little bit, right? Because like, you know, our team's name is the Wolves. And so they're six they're six and five. You know, and dog, when I tell you we are so obnoxious on the sideline.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

So obnoxious, dog. Yeah you know, and and and partly because how obnoxious though? Like tell me. And not just for our team, for the other team, you know, too. We cheer for them too. But you know, so when they score, y'all howl for them too? No, not for the other team. Oh, no, but we clap. Okay. We clap. Yeah. Okay, but just let me get this straight. Y'all are on the sidelines. Yeah. Now the kids are I mean, they're still peeing on themselves. No, no, no. So nobody's going pro at this point. No, they're not, it's not like that, bro. It's not like that. They're playing positions. You know, like there is, you know. I just want to make it clear though, but nobody's going pro. Well, we don't know. We don't know. But this is definitely a early state. Y'all have paid referees come out there? Yeah, we do. And y'all have linesmen? No, no, linesmen, no. Okay, but these referees are what, like 47, 50, 50, 10, 10, 10. No, no, no, no. They're 13. Oh, they're 13. Okay, so some of them maybe. Some of them maybe 10. Some of them may be 10. No, let me just let me just contextualize this. Well, yeah, but I feel like you're contextualizing it in a way that's leaning negative towards. No, I'm not just trying to be transparent. And so then so now y'all score one goal and then y'all howl. Yeah, just like great. Got it. Now, when you score four goals, that's it, right? Like, that's like, all right, four goals is four-zero. There's no need to howl or even celebrate. Like, now we're just trying to, you know, we're trying to fall in love with the game and learn. It depends. It depends. Because if the same kid scores, then we don't. But if a new kid scores, then we we gotta howl for that kid. Oh. Look, hey, look, I look, I like me. We're talking six, seven, eight goes in, and y'all, these are new kid that's score. Especially if they score for the first time. Hey, look, hey, hey, man. Hey, the other team, the other team could be just as cheerful. It's not it's not my fault that they show up on a Saturday and are looking at their phones. You know, I I'm just saying they could have named their team something cool too. You know, the the the the lions or or or whatever, you know, the case may be. I'm not gonna diminish my light for their ego, is what I'm saying. You know what though?

SPEAKER_00 19:22

I I would take that, I would take that over one of the kids about to score, and and a D friend that goes, hey, Coach said we can't score, we gotta pass the ball five times.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

I'm telling you. I would take that I would take the howling over Coach said we gotta pass the ball five times before we score. Yeah, or when we when we when we um dribble to the sideline. Yeah. You know what I mean? Instead of scoring, you know? Dog, we was at a game this weekend and Kyle played this team. I think the team was like, they're at their same age, but Kyle's been playing about a year and a half up to two years up. Yeah, no, this is like this is like 10-year-old, 12-year-old like select club teams. Yeah. And so he played down to his actual age group, right? Played down to his age group, and you know, they're winning. Like they're they're beating his team. It's it's pretty bad. Um, but there's some teams where we would beat like 13-0, you know, in like the first half, and then we'd have to start doing some stuff because then uh because of youth development, right? So like it's different than so like you got youth development, which is kind of like, you know, you're just developing, and then you have the club team, which is competitive, you know. He's in the youth development, and then when he gets older, like one year up, he's gonna go up to the competitive part, right?

SPEAKER_03 20:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

So in YDP, it's kind of like you you want your kids to develop. It's all about development. Yeah. You know like it's about you're you're training athletes. Like this is not this is not fun. You're training a system. You know, it's fun. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So like there's like when the other team has the ball, you know, we're doing this thing where we play it out from the back.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

You know, so like you want the team to be able to play it out from the back. So you have this little line that says, wait until they touch it. And once they touch it, you can go and put pressure in the ball. And and like I feel like listeners who who aren't in soccer should know that like sometimes you can have these games like this, and it's kind of janky. You know, because like you know, because you're trying to learn a system, you know, and so it's not it's not about like their own system. Yeah, but it's not about like scoring. It's not about scoring, it's not about like, you know, sometimes you want to win. But it's not a good thing. But that's not the point. The point is like, can you can we learn a system? Can we go on a little bit? Can you can each can each player play in different positions? For sure. So sometimes we'll lose a game because we're rotating our striker in as goalkeeper.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

You know, or like sometimes we'll lose a game because we have like somebody who doesn't play defense often trying to learn how to play defense. For sure. So they Anyway, we're scoring and Cairo just scored and he runs back to the center and he just he he doesn't yell but he says it pretty loudly. This is too easy. Oh yeah. Oh I know and so then I'm gonna say hey Cairo. And he goes, sorry, sorry. Because like he knows, hey man. Yeah, he's playing down, he's been playing up. He's no, he's playing his age group. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh yeah. But he's playing down, you know, to his age. But at some point, it's like, hey Bri, you're gonna get beat 10 to zero at some point. You know, and like would you like it if a player was like, it's too easy. Yeah. You know? Like you wouldn't like it. For sure. You know, just emotionally you wouldn't like it. Now you may do something about it, but you wouldn't like it. Yeah, you know. Yeah. And so it's funny how sometimes some kids can deal with it, some kids can't deal with it. For sure. But by the time we get to competitive, it's like you kind of weeded those kids out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. What I'm what I w when I coach the kids, it's like you kind of want the kids to fall in love with the game until they get to a point to where they're like, this is a game I either want to continue to play or this is a game I don't want to continue to play. And I think that's the crux here. It's like or I want to have fun. Or I want to continue to play, and I just want I just want to play with my friends. I just want to play with my friends. Like I don't I don't want to play competitive, I just want to play my friends, you know, or like I want to play competitive, but I don't want to go further, or I want to play competitive and I want to go further. Yeah, I feel like there's a tie-in to like, I don't know, the more we talk about this, I feel like there's a tie-in to where my students are.

Development Over Winning In Sports

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Um how are you gonna tie this into? No, no. Just like developmentally, you know, like there's so so right now I'm teaching the help of relationships class, and like that's like the the first class that you learn the skills in, you know. And I think that there's some there's some I think that there's some students who come they come into the class and they have this innate way of like building relationships. You know, like this like real innate way of building a relationship, you know. And that way is really good. And you can tell that like, oh, they got it. They got it, you know. And they come in and do the fishable stuff, and you're like, man, this is a really good student, you know. And then you have other students who just like they they just don't have it, you know, and you can tell that like learning the skills and being like genuine in a relationship with like a client is gonna be tough for them, right? They usually struggle with asking too many questions and trying to trying to s uh find a solution, you know, for the for the for the client, you know. I just feel like, you know, if you're on a team, right, of like, so let's let's take so Kyro for example, he's nine, but he's playing with the 10 and 11 year olds, right? There's one tournament where he played against 12-year-olds, and it was like Kairo can play with the 10 and 11-year-olds because he's big, he's fast, and he's like super smart on the ball, you know. But the 12s just but then when we played against the 12-year-olds, yeah, yeah, that was it was a it was a league onto itself. You know, like those kids were were like just sharp. You know, I think they beat us like 12 to 0, I believe, you know. Um I don't know, I just I I just feel like, you know, there's this like you know, when you're playing in a in a team where there's like four, five, and six-year-olds, like the four-year-olds are gonna be it's gonna be it's a it's a gulf of talent between four and six. Yeah. You know? Yeah, even four and five. And and honestly, it's not even talent, it's just like an understanding of what you're supposed to do. Right, if one of us was doing it and also my body, like my body's different. Yeah, like I'm if I get the ball, I go that way.

unknown 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

You know, that's the difference between between four and five. Yeah, well, I I feel that like the students who I don't know. I don't I don't have the answer to this, you know. But I feel like the students who do really well in the help in relationships class are the students who don't mind failing in front of their peers. For sure. I think that's I think that's part of it. They don't mind. I think that's part of the dog. They don't mind failing in front of their peers. Yeah. I think that's part of it. And and I I think that like this, you know, like the kids who play soccer and the ones who go pretty far, like they don't mind the like the chatter from the parents. You know, like they may feel frustrated, like Kyru would feel frustrated. He and he may cry, you know, he may come on the sidelines and cry, you know, because it is frustrating to see grown ass people howling, but whatever. Anyway, but I I think that there's like some students who like they come into the class and they're like a little rigid with like failing, so they they don't sit in the counselor's seat. They're soft. They're soft. Well they they just don't like you know, I don't know what their life looks like. They just don't, you know, I don't know if they're soft or hard or rigid or whatever, but they just don't want to they just don't want to s like sit in the seat. So so then the students who do sit in the seat, they have the language. Like they have the real time when I'm in a bind and I'm stuck and I don't know where to go, I can work myself out of this stuckness with the language that I've used. But the other students who don't sit in the seat, they don't have that same like uh uh like situational awareness to be like, oh, if I'm just like transparent with what I'm thinking and feeling, and I reflect that to the client, then that could potentially help us become unstuck.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

Right?

SPEAKER_02 27:50

They don't, they just like kind of stick in their mind. Have you seen that? Well, yeah, I I mean for sure, but like for me, like I also just see like people who are like, you know, I say soft, you know, I think what I really mean is like who are like fragile, you know what I mean? And they it like fragile to like the the process of growing, you know, and like fragile to like resistance, you know, in that and like which I think it's kind of taps into what you're saying, you know. It's like they also have a sense of like, you know, I don't I don't want to be seen. I don't want to be like, you know, uh I don't want to volunteer, I don't want to jump into the middle. You know what I mean? Like you know, like those those I feel like those students have a tougher time, you know? Because like I was talking to Lindsay about this, like, you know, one of the things about being an athlete is that you fail all the time. You you get like accustomed to to failing, you know what I mean? And like and I was stuck in the key and we were gonna go to the batting cages, you know, and I had some drills, you know, to run him through. You know, and like he didn't have he didn't understand the concept of like practice. Right. You know, like he understands the understands the concept of like playing and like having fun, you know, but he doesn't understand the concept of like practice. Like you do these like mini skills to help you get really good at the game you're playing, you know. Like in his mind, he thinks like I'm just gonna play and have fun and I'll get better. Yep. You know, and it's like, nah man, you gotta like do the micro skills. Yeah, you know, and if you don't have like if if you are like soft, like gooey in the middle, you know, like like you are gooey. Like you you can't withstand the like whatever the whatever the case may be. If we're like talking about soccer, like fans, or if you coaching, or like,

Counseling Students And Learning To Fail

SPEAKER_02 29:50

you know, the the other team chirping at you or whatever, you're never gonna make it. You know, you just it's gonna be so hard for you to do this work because like you gotta, you gotta, you gotta volunteer. Like you gotta jump in the middle. You gotta be able to do it, you gotta take feedback, like you gotta, you know what I mean? Like you just got you gotta you just gotta be okay with that. You know? Yeah, I mean, I mean there there was you don't have to you don't have to be hard, you don't have to be an expert. You know, but let me let me finish let me finish the thought because because I feel like just like like the five and six year olds, you know, like the thing that separates them is like they have an understanding or like it's six, six and seven. They have an understanding of like, you know, like it's funny, you can see the six and seven year olds on the field, you know, like because you know, we have a goal kick and they run out to the flanks.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

You know, and they're they're calling it. You know, they're they're stretching the field, you know, like you can tell the other team gets the ball, they they don't run to the ball, they run back to their defensive position. You know what I mean? Like, and I feel like when whenever uh uh like counselors, you know, like student counselors, they understand what we're trying to do in therapy. You know, like I'm trying to identify this problem, trying to flip that problem to a goal, so on and so forth, you know, then like it's so much easier for them to like learn that system and like fail within that system, trying to get that system right, and not think of it as like a personal failure. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in the class, yeah. In the class, we definitely have a system that we're like, okay, this is our like system of how we're gonna train you to be a clinical. This is how this program does. This is how the this is this program does. This is their system. Yeah. You know, like this is how we this is what we're producing, you know. Um But I do I do think that like um I I I do think that like you know so like there's the game, right? Like the game, the soccer game. Yeah. Or like the game of like do you're in a session now, you know? And I think that sometimes people think that the game especially at like the youth development level, which is like let's just say our students are at the youth development level. I think that they think that you have to be perfect in the game. Yeah. And just for the listeners, like there's rec and then there like rec like fun, you know, like you keep and score, but it's fun. You know, and then there's a youth development where it's like you're trying to go you're in the system. You're in the club's system. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, whatever it is at any club, the way that it is here and at for crew is that you have rec and then you have YDP, and then you have the competitive part, you know, and like YDP's youth development the youth development program.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

It's like you're in the club, you know, but like it's still kind of like not recreational, but like, but they're they're trying to pick they're trying to pick kids to go on the select, like travel teams. No, not really. Okay. No, really, it's it's like you want the kids to fall in love with the game. Like you want the kids to love the game. Okay. You want them to understand the system that crew plays, you know. You want them to understand different positions, you want them to get comfortable failing, you know, like you want them to find a position. Like, oh yeah, you're more naturally a defender. Okay. You know, great. But now let's put you at striker and see how you feel playing striker. Yeah. You know, like, oh, you're naturally a striker, let's put you at goalkeeper. See if you're like goalkeeper, you know, being a goalkeeper. It it's what you would do in a rec team. Yeah. You know, or what you should do in a rec team. Yeah. You know. But anyway, anyway, the you know, like when you're playing youth development, it's like, you know, you go into the game, you know, and it's like, all right, we practiced this whole week. Now it's time to be perfect in the game, you know. But I don't I don't know if that's how it really is.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:56

You know? Like I think you are perfect in practice or you try to be perfect in practice so that it gives you the structure. Yeah, you try to do the little micro skills perfectly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when you get into the game, I think it gives you some freedom. For sure. Right? Like some freedom to like be a little bit more like artistic. You know, be a little bit more, you know, like um creative. A little bit. Creative. Yeah, a little bit more. Yeah. But a little bit more creative, you know. It's like, oh, I'm not getting pressure from like Sam, my friend on the team. Now I'm getting pressure from like this kid that's like, I know Sam. I know Sam's predictable. You know, now I'm getting pressure from this other kid. I wonder how that feels. Let me see if I hip juke this way and try to move. Oh no, he he read that. Yeah. You know, like he read it. Okay, so now I have to s I have to shift it up, you know. I think, I don't know, man. Like, and I think sometimes students, and like let's just take helping relationships, for example, you know, I think they get lost in the we're gonna we're gonna practice these skills. So when you're doing it during practice, it feels natural to you. Right? Yeah, like they like what you're saying is like they don't they don't have that the game perspective. Yeah, you know, they don't have the game perspective. Like they have like the practice perspective. Right. You know, like I'm I wonder like if I'm not good at this, then I won't be able to play in the game. You're gonna play in the game regardless. Regardless. The game is coming up, it's coming up on whatever, you know, it's the 10-minute video or something. And so we we need you to focus on like we need you to focus on practicing. Yeah. Which is about making mistakes and about making it perfect. What I find, what I'm finding is that the students who take practice seriously and they jump into the opportunity to practice, like they jump into the chair, those students are more free-flowing during the game, during their like actual session. Yeah, of course. You know, like they they it's it's almost like they've taken the skills that they learned during practice and kind of like adopted them into their own way of doing it. Yeah, you know? And bruh, when I see that on video, I'm like, this is it. Yeah, there it is. This is it. There it is. See that, see that thing, keep doing that. This is it. Yeah, you know. But it's the st it's the students that don't take practice seriously and they think they can just kind of like hang out on the sidelines or not take any cuts. Well, you know what? Not even Well yeah, that for sure. But also, like, are the the the students who are like, you know, and I keep saying this word, but like, you know, they are more fragile. You know, they are like they are soft and so they Yeah, they're more success-ceptible to like the ego stuff. Yeah, the internalization stuff. So what they think is like, oh, I can just like I can just practice in my hand. Yeah. I can watch other people take cuts and I can practice in my hand. So when I get into the game, I'll know what to do. But they get into the game and it's like uh It's the first time ordered words. What happens is that the game becomes practice. Yeah. You know, exactly. That's not how that's not how it's supposed to be. That's exactly it. But I I'm seeing st I'm seeing students struggle with that. Even all the way up into internship and and to practice of an internship. What's that like, bruh? Yeah. I mean, because we don't I would love to I would love to commiserate, but our students are just so I'm not just talking about our program. I'm not talking about I'm talking about like we we just went to that to the ACA conference. Yeah, to the American Counseling Association conference, you know. And there you see a plethora of students who come from different programs with different backgrounds and different all kinds of stuff. You know? And some of those students, some of those students, man, are having a really hard time. Yeah, bruh. You know, like a really hard time translating the skills that they learn in class into like an actual session. Well, honestly, it's because a lot of them didn't practice. Bruh, but that's what I'm saying. A lot a lot of them are practicing during the game. During the game after graduation. Yeah, it's it's your 10 minute, it's it's your it's your like you know, whatever whatever video submission you gotta submit into, and and you submit this like thing where you're uncomfortable. Never. You know, making you uncomfortable. It's like, bruh, bruh, I don't know, man. It's so like, I don't know, it's just interesting, you know. It's just interesting. So we so so we speaking about like the ACA conference and stuff like that, we got like a couple

Practice Versus Game In Clinical Skills

SPEAKER_02 38:55

questions from uh from some of the the the uh Well before we get what what do you have any takeaways from the conference, bruh? I guess one of the one of the biggest takeaways I got was that um that people are I don't I don't know if I don't know if this I think this has been developing for a while. I think people are coming to these conferences. I think the way that conferences have been in the past has been like people doing research, you know, and coming to present on their research. People writing books and people coming to present on the books that they've written. You know. Um it's been like uh academics, you know, academically focused. You know, like professors or researchers who are presenting at these conferences, you know. And I think what's happening now is that there is this like clinical shift to people who are like, cool, thanks for the research, but I have a faculty back, you know, or I have uh agency back home. How do you take what your research says and apply it to like what we're doing? For sure. You know, like how do you take like cool, I got the ANOVA and I got the statistics and I got the T-score and I got the P value and I got the oh but like what's the like w how do I do it? You know, I think that's a shift that I'm noticing a lot more of like people coming in with like a with like I don't care what your poster says. Don't care what your poster says. Tell me tell me how to translate what your poster says into my clinical work that I do, you know, or the teaching that I do or whatever, you know. Uh I think people are coming in with that mentality a lot more often. What what about you? Uh I'm noticing a lot of students there. A lot of graduate students there. We we asked a question about it. A lot of graduate students. But how many, how many students? How many students in the room was full of students? But but you know what, and and it makes me dog, I think we should submit a proposal, like a learning institute, uh, about like skills, like counseling skills, developing your style kind of like the book, but for but just for students. You know, like explicitly say this is like a skills course for students. Because dog, it feels like so many students. I'm talking they're going into practicum. Not but not just the online programs, man. Like they're in programs where the faculty aren't clinicians.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

You know, like and you know, and they're coming and they're going into practicum or into internships saying, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. I've never seen nobody's ever seen me. I have no idea what I'm doing. You know, and I know our students say that. You know, your students say that, you know, but they do know what they're doing. But they just have this like imposter kind of thing. But it feels like it feels like more and more graduate students are like grasping for straws. And they don't want to hear like, you know, EMDR this and Sandre this, and they don't want to hear the like, you know, hot like the the the gimmicky problem solving kind of things. They want to hear like how do I do the process of therapy?

SPEAKER_03 42:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

You know, and like it just it just makes me it just makes me feel like man, there needs to be some support because man, the the the the um the the terror is a strong word, but the the fear is palpable. Yeah, I think I think that's I think the transition is to like it's to doing, it's like the practicality of what we're doing in Tampa. Yeah, bro. As opposed to the you know, trust the process. I think you're getting a lot less people that are like okay with just letting the ambiguity of trust the process settle. Yeah, you know, in in the room. Yeah, yeah. I think people are like, yeah, I've heard that. Even though like, you know, the you know, I I hear that we should take a vow a vow of poverty, you know, in our field. I think people are becoming less okay with just like saying, like, okay, yeah, that's what I heard, so that's how we should be. Oh, that's an yeah, that that's a good point, man. Yeah, a lot more people are are thinking about this field as like a uh way to make a living. Yeah. You know, and not just like uh I'm I'm here to I'm here until my soul gets sucked dry, you know. It's like Yeah. And and I think I think also there's a shift of people who are like, I got this clinical mental health like master's degree, and I'm only going to do counseling. Yeah, lots of people are diversifying. Yeah. Did you hear that? How does my master's degree translate to coaching or consulting? Yeah, bro. Yeah, it's uh yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. That that's just when I noticed. Yeah, bro. I mean it was it was good, man. It was good. You know, I wish there was more organization with like book signings and you know, expo center stuff, you know, but um but yeah, man, it was good. And and it was just an easy conference, man. Yeah. You know, like like the hotel was there, the conference thing was there, they had lots of things in the conference center, coffee shops, places to eat. Like it really was just like one of the best. One of the best. Yeah, I was thinking one of the best each other. One of the best, yeah. You know, you didn't have to like go outside to get stuff, you know. It was it was there, man. Yeah. It was there. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, bruh. Hey, man, be before you get into your little questions, bruh. Um have you ever have you ever you've never done DD with your No, I no. Okay. So, you know, so usually at the end of the semester, I take my students through like a little DD campaign for the last couple weeks, you know, because it's like sessions are wrapping up, they're not taking any new clients, like, you know, they're getting their hours. So we come into groups of vision and we don't really have anything to talk about a process, you know, it's just wrapping up the semester. And so I got a little one-shot from my students that I'm taking them through today, and I'm gonna be the DM for the first time. You know, usually I'll have like Joe come in or somebody, you know, do it. Uh is it the first time that you're being like the what do you call it? The head nerd in charge of the D DM is it's the dungeon dungeon master. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. Dungeon Master. There's nothing I don't know. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't know why you're making it seem like you know, there's something wrong. It feels like this whole this whole time you've been trying to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. No, the the dweet master. That's what you're calling it? No, no, because I just feel attacked, is what I'm saying. No, no, because no, because you know, first I can't howl. First I can only sit and ch and cheer with my hands in my lap. Hey, listen. Now I no no no no no no no no I'm talking about. I wouldn't be mad at him. Uh me neither. He started howling at the parents. But I don't want to see my son turn into that. Y'all are forcing him to do something that I don't I don't want to see him do. Nah, seriously, seriously. If in all honesty, dawg, it's not that it's not that serious, bro. It's not that intense. It's not that intense. Yeah, nah. It's just as we cheered. I'm gonna send you a screenshot of a picture of Keenan when he scored of him about to howl.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

He looked pretty intense. He wasn't he wasn't howling, bro. He was surprised. Nah, bro, for real though, for real. Like it really is good-natured and like you know, all the parents are involved, and uh and a lot of the kids go to the same school, you know.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

So it and a lot of those kids just finish playing Cedar League basketball and then they mix up the teams and then play soccer. And so, you know, it's it's it really is. You know, a competitive competitive atmosphere that I want my kids to win and thrive in. And I want other kids to I don't know who you're saying that for. I got triggered because this poor kid, bruh, that's kid, man. I'll talk about the DD, but this kid, bruh, on the sideline, man, his parents were sitting all the way in the back. You know, this kid was spending the the whole game looking for his parents, man. And you know, and so we started encouraging the kids. And I'm looking at especially the dad. I'm looking at the dad like you. Just man, just again, man. Again, this kid might have been a righteous butt. No weekend. No, man, no, I no. The whole weekend. No, what's the what's the saying? No, what's now what's the saying, bro? The kids are perfect. It's the parents I'm worried about. Right. Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. So uh so I'm uh I'm doing

ACA Conference Takeaways And Student Fear

SPEAKER_02 48:45

um I'm doing D D, bruh, and kind of like what we were talking about earlier, you know, it's like just to try to get them to like be in it.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

You know, like to like play, you know, like you gotta practice so that you can play, you know, and man, and so I don't know how it's gonna go, man, but I didn't realize how many students you that's that's that's gonna be five today. Okay, five. So it's small, it's not a group, man. But I'm nervous, bro. I'm more nervous for this than I am doing a a speech, man. You know? I just trying to remember everything, man. If you just send say ten Hill Marys. Wow. Um, cross yourself at least 15 times. Say one eye, father. Yep, say one eye father. Just one? Just one? That's all you need. Perfect, take a lady. That's all you need. Yeah, you'll be you'll be fine. Mm-hmm. You'll be fine, man. Yeah, man. Do you do anything like do you do anything like that? Not DD, because I know you don't do D because I love to do DD, dog. Like I I I love to do it. Like I would I would love to do it. I think our faculty would love to do it too, you know. So um that would be a fun little like retreat to do, you know, like an end of semester, you know, maybe like a two-hour campaign, you know? Um like a like a like a two, two and a half hour campaign on like a faculty meeting, you know, just to kind of like close out the semester. Yeah. Um with some with some drinks and some food and just kind of like hang out together. Yeah, that'd be that'd be fun, man. Um Yeah, we got one we got one student, uh Zach, who who who's into it and he's thinking about, you know, do do do a little three-week or do a little three three session, one shot. Yeah, you know. We just we're not like y'all faculty, man. We actually got stuff to talk about now in our faculty meeting, so we can't just be playing DD. But you know, we're starting a doc program. Oh, no, you miss under you misunderstood. No. So we have our faculty meeting and then we play D because we like each other. Yeah. When you say like each other, speaking dog, speaking of dog, and I know we talked about this, dog, but that's another thing, hey, bruv, that I noticed. Counselors and counselor educators, they just don't be liking each other. Oh, yeah. And more more than just like. Not all of them, bruh. Not all of them. Not all of them. I would just say some of them are some of the most unhealthy faculty groups. You know, yeah, we are, yeah, man. We are in the helping profession, but we can't we can't get along, you know? Uh as somebody who's worked at several different universities, I I get into a university. Yeah, jump, jump ship. Yeah, like I'm just gonna be able to do that. Yeah, the the second you're like dysfunction. Dysfunction junction. I'm I'm I'm getting it. Oh, y'all actually hate each other. So this whole interview process, y'all tantalized and teased me. Tantalized me and like we made it on I made it on faculty, and where y'all at? Nobody's in their offices. Tantalized. We don't have no faculty to get togethers, you know. Yeah, I'm trying to get drunk with my department. I don't know. No, no, no, sir. Yeah. I'm sorry. My bad. My bad, my bad. Yep. Nope. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, anyway, anyway. We got we got a couple minutes left, man. So uh I did want to get to some of these, uh, some of these questions. I won't I won't post them all, but we just have a backlog of people just uh you know asking questions in our in our inbox and stuff like that. So if you if you if you had a question for us, we're gonna try to be a little bit more vigilant with some of this stuff. Because sometimes the same questions the same question get gets asked over and over again, you know. Uh so if you have a question for us, just email us at the twintherapist at gmail.com. That is the twin therapists at gmail.com. Um with any questions about like clinical work or whatever, you know. So I'm I'm gonna pop around here, man. Um just give some short answers to some of the people. Uh let's see. Uh what's what's something therapists therapists say uh publicly that you both think is actually misleading or just not true. Um I mean a couple things, like you know, like just expect to not make any money in this field. You know, I think that's stuff that is like public knowledge. That's just not that's just not true. You know, I'm not saying you're gonna be a millionaire, you know, by working in this field. Some people are, some people, you know, if you have a business strategy, y you know, you can be, you know. But man, you can very much so like take care of your family, you know, and and have some savings and have like a pretty good life, you know, in in this field. Another thing that people say too that I think is misleading is that like we have this like the personal hat and this professional hat, you know, I think that that's misleading. Yeah. You know, it's so much easier to have like a a a long career if you're like integrated. You know, you don't have to be two versions of yourself, you know, two distinct versions of yourself. Um give advice. Oh yeah. Yeah, right? I think that's a common thing people believe. We don't give advice. We don't give advice. Yeah. You better believe I'm telling clients, don't smoke crack. Don't do it. Yeah. Don't do it. Yeah. Like, or or hey man, hey, hey man, hey. This relationship looks a lot like the other relationships. I wouldn't do it if I were you. Yeah. Or like when clients, clients sometimes are asked a question, like, you know, what would you do? Yeah. You know? And and you you can't just be like, oh, that's not for me to decide. I'm not you and we're not we and he's not he and they and that they and like, hey, hey, hey, hey, man. Hey, listen, I'm gonna tell you what I would do and if you're curious. Right. But what I would do is different for what you would do. And this isn't me telling you, go do the thing that I would do. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know how many times like I a client will say that and I'll go, Oh, me? I w I wouldn't even be in this position in the first place. Like no disrespect. Yeah. One, you're not.

unknown 55:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

No disrespect. No, but for real, you know, I you know, and to say like, nah, man, I nah, if somebody did that to me, uh I wouldn't talk to him again. Yeah. Whatever. Like whatever the case may be. Whatever the case may be. All right, all right. So another question is like, is private practice really for everyone, or do we oversell it to counseling students? Um I think we oversell it. So okay, so I I I don't I don't so I think for for me personally, I don't sell it at all. No, I I mean the feel, yeah. The feel, yeah, yeah. That definitely I think students come in and that's like the mecca, you know, fly. Like, what do you want to do when you graduate? I'm oh I'm gonna ooh. Oh I'm gonna I already have Oh man and I'm gonna call it lily blossom counseling.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

Oh, I'm gonna call it, I'm gonna call it flower petal off of the magnolia tree. Yep. Counseling. Yep. I'm gonna call it rooted heart blossom. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Yep. I'm gonna call it I'm gonna call it the ink that never dries. Counseling isn't it? Or you got the or you got the tough ones. You got the tough ones. You got the I'm gonna call it thrive counseling from some people. I'm gonna I'm gonna call it punch counseling. I'm gonna call it apex counseling. Yeah, I'm I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call

Dungeons And Dragons In Supervision

SPEAKER_02 57:05

it mountain climb. I'm gonna call it summit counseling. Summit. Hey, hey, look, there's nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. But it is a cliche. It is a cliche, you know what I mean? No hate or shame. Not at all. But I do think that that we do as a field, like I think students feel like I must go into business by myself. Yeah. You know? And but some of these students, it's like, hey man, private practice is for you ten years from licensure. Well, and I think and I think there's a misconception about what makes people successful in private practice. You know what I mean? Like, dog, the people who are who are most successful in private practice are the therapists with the process. Yeah. Like therapists are private. Therapists you can go and go, let me listen to you. Here's your problem.

unknown 58:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Here's why it's a problem. Here's gonna be the goal. In six sessions, this is what we're gonna do. You know, and they can't. At the end of the day, at the end of the time you will say so much money. You say this much money. This is how you can feel gonna feel, this is the way you can experience life. You know, and now look, this is the plan. You know, things can change, you know, they can be adaptable, but this is the this is the process I'm offering you. Do you you know, do you wanna sign up for that? You know, those are the people that I feel like clients just feel like taken care of. I think the clients, I think the counselors who don't make it in private practice are the ones who's like, this is your special room. Yep, this is your price, you can do whatever you want here. This is your space, not my space. And also, guess what? This is also a safe space for you. You know, so I I don't know if you need me to tell you that, but this just so you know, this is a safe space. Well, and it and it, you know, obviously it depends on like if you have a certain kind of clientele that you're catering for, you know, and like, you know, it maybe is a luxury clientele or you know, whatever the case may be, and and you're offering that kind of you know package for sure. You know, but yeah, it it is not it is not fair. I you know what I think is for everybody, bruh? Um I think group practice. Like group practice is, yeah. Look, bruh, get yourself a nice, good group practice. They're taking 30 percent, you're charging, you're making good money, you're in there getting the skills, is you know. You know. Um but I think for some people, man, when you're in that that part where you're trying to get license, hey bruh, get up in that prison. No, man, man. Get up in that prison, get up in that in prison. You just you just don't learn. Hey, man. Yeah. I get it. I get it, man. Get them hours. You got some people who are like single moms. Oh, totally. Within my token that way from undergrad to paycheck, they need consistent. Totally. You know. But you just can't have the dream that like I'm gonna go right from inpatient to private practice. You know, like come on. Or I'm gonna go right from my master's program to private practice and get paid. Well, like it's it's it's tough for some it's tough for some people. For some people. Some people are good. Yeah, there's some people that I just talked to one that was like, oh, you're gonna be alright. Yeah, me too. Me too. Right before that. I talked to one, yeah. Anyway, all right, so let's see. Uh what what's uh let's see. Uh oh, have either of you ever questioned whether this profession was worth it? Like truly considered doing something else? Nah. Really? Nah. Man. I know, but you but you have you you you've been through it.

unknown 1:00:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

I've been I've been pampered. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I've been I've been pampered in this profession. I went I went from one healthy program to the next healthy program. Um matter of fact, you know, like I used to work at ODU. Still love that program. Still love the faculty. I still work with the students. Love that program. You know, if I could if I could be in two places at once, I would go back to ODU. You know? Just because it was great, you know. There's not a single program. There's not a single job that I've

Faculty Culture And Dysfunction

SPEAKER_02 1:01:40

had that you would go back to.

unknown 1:01:43

Go back to.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:45

There's not a single job.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

There's not a single person. No, there's there's a couple of people that I still talk to. Yeah. Nah, but you you would cut. You meet some good people. You meet some good people along the way. But you wouldn't you wouldn't go back to uh man, what was that place you worked at the first the first place? The first place? Yeah. Nickel State? Nigga, you wouldn't go back to Nickel State? Nah, I wouldn't go back to Nickel State. No. No. They couldn't afford me, man. Not now they could. No, I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't go back. Uh no shade to the program. I just think I'm in a different place, you know. Yeah. In a in a much less um desperate. Much less, yeah, yeah, yeah. Much less. Yeah. I think that's the thing. I think that's where the questioning came from. The questioning came from the absolute depravity that I was in. Like the I was desperate for like money and trying to find fit and health. Yeah, bruh. Yeah. I was I was just seeing like I was I was talking to the students the other day about how, bruh, for like most of the most people get a PhD and then they jump into a faculty position. And then they, you know, like some people are faculty for like twenty years. Yeah, bruh. You know? But for the first ten, twelve years of getting out of my doc program, I was a clinician. Yeah, bruh. But but in the seat. But in the chair. Yeah. Seeing every client every hour. Where you go on. Every hour. An hour. Lunch for an hour. Every hour. You know, at different universities, man. Just like different universities, private practice, just like, but and just doing doing the work. Yeah. Because, you know, not many jobs in Louisiana. You know, so uh yeah, there was times, man, where I was putting gas, I didn't have enough money for gas, didn't have mone money for supervision. Let me get let me get my bruh. I was sitting there sleeping in my office, waking up with the same clothes on, spinning like balls. Yeah, man. Just like I remember I had a cockroach crawling my leg when I was in session one time. Meanwhile, meanwhile, I was working with my grant writers to help me. I was eating, I was eating ice cream in the president's box of the the home uh uh homecoming game. I had a kookarcher crawling up my leg in my inner thigh. I'm in the middle of reflecting, feeling like that. Oh man, bruh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was it was it was bad, bruh. And that's when you thought, is this worth it? Yeah, I was like, I don't know. Yeah, I was like, bruh. What you was gonna do? What you was gonna do instead? You ain't got no other skills, you ain't got no transferable skills. I was gonna do something illegal. No. Oh. I was gonna market myself as a life coach. It's like giving advice.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:49

Is that legal? Had enough.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

I had enough. Had enough, man. About to tell people, straighten your crown. You know, straighten your straight straighten your crown. What else? What else do we say, bro? What else do we say? I got the seven-step process for

Listener Questions Private Practice And Advice

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

you to be able to get your man back. By my online course, it's 127 PowerPoints, a dollar a PowerPoint. All I'm doing is reading off of them. If you ask now, you give me 13 payments at $99.99. That's crazy. This all these payments are going to a Cash App. And we will get you empowered. This is going to a Cash App. That bar Julius. What? You don't even have Julius. That ball Julius. It's spelled with a Y. Cash App. Oh no. No. You know how they have a friend. In a suit, the big suit, in the background there's like the world behind you. You know when you're working in a place that like, you know, you wear a suit there and and everybody's like, hey, you you don't gotta you don't gotta do all that. Like you ain't gotta wear a suit here, you know. Yeah, this ain't for me. Okay, last question, last question. Um let's see. Uh oh, what what's something from grad school that you had to unlearn once you started actually seeing clients? Man, that's a tough question, actually. I think somebody asks that at the conference. Um had to unlearn. Um, I know, I know. Um this goes back to what we talked about before. Um telling people telling people what to do.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

You know, like how like how do you how do you tell people how do you use your clinical experience to help people cut corners, you know, without taking responsibility for like what they do.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:08

You know, to be to be able to say, like, look, just relationships in general. I've seen this relationship pattern a thousand times. Yeah. It's a pursuer distancer. You know, like it's classic, you know, like anxious avoidant. Uh we need don't do this. You know. Oh, well, that's so so You know what I mean? So speaking about that, I uh you just sparked a thought of one thing that I had to unlearn was that like the population that I choose to work with is the population that I'm gonna work with. Yeah, that yeah, that's a you know, yeah. I had to unlearn that. Like, oh man, I you know, I've been doing this now, doing clinical work since like 2013. You know, and so it's like I can't imagine if I was still seeing college-age students. Yeah. You know, like now. Yeah. You know, I could, and I love that population. I love it, you know. But like I just couldn't imagine not seeing couples and families and like, you know, dudes who are in their like late 30s, early 40s, trying to manage a family and you know. Um yeah, you know, like I would have never, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also I thought I was only gonna do group work too. Oh, really? Uh yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I was only gonna do group work. So uh yeah, that uh let me see. Do we have one more question? I think we may have one more question, but it may be time for us to go. So anyway, we'll we'll get to some of the questions later on, man. Yeah, hey man. Hey, Brad, we're back. Uh, we could try to do this every other week. You know? Yeah. Uh every every other week. Um For real, especially now that summer's here. Yeah. Yeah. There may be, you know, we may have some mixed-in, because that was another thing at the conference is that like we've met a lot of authors. Yeah, a lot of people who are are writing are in the people who were writing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so like um uh you know, the idea of like getting some of those people on, but not to just not to talk about their book, you know, like talk about life, yeah. Talk about life, their life, the field, we're helpful. It's like hearing what like practicing internship was like for them. For sure. Hearing like their first client story. For sure. The first client story, bruh. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So uh any final words for the listeners, Jude? Any anything that you want? For you guys, I just hope that we can keep this up. You know. I I feel like we've I feel like we've um we've uh kicked the wolves back a little bit, you know? Like maybe people uh, you know, give us some grace, you know. Um, people was coming up to us at the conference asking about it, you know. Like we just need to be more consistent. We do but it's hard, man. Look, now look, now look. If if if y'all want to start donating. I mean, that's the only way Jude's gonna come consistent monetary. No, I'm not talking about money. I'm uh all kinds of food. What you got? Whatever you got. Yeah, he's only gonna come here. It won't be to just, you know, add to the body of work that we've been curating over the years. It it'll The body of work. I'm trying to take care of this body. How about you? How about you how about you end this off with a little how, man, just for the for the for the for the for the away fans. Nah, I wouldn't want to trample on somebody's suspected potential. You sure? I'm positive. Because I know how you're soft, then maybe maybe they should get out of the field anyway. Yeah. Yeah. No, I No, I think I think right now, if you're listening to this and and you feel a warm, gooey center inside of you that says, Maybe I shouldn't, then don't. You heard it here first. No, it's funny because my D thing is focusing on that. You know, like it's focusing on the. Oh,

Plans Ahead And Closing

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's focusing on that. You know, because we all we all feel we all feel that, you know, like maybe I shouldn't do this, you know. But hopefully you can um hopefully you can like stand up to that man, you know? Maybe, yeah, maybe. But nah, man. I just hope for us and for them that we can keep this going. I don't know why we wouldn't be able to. I'm always here, so wow. Always. Unfortunately. You trying to end it or something?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:18

Appreciate that.