Our beloved pet turkey Terry is about to take center stage for a special charity event called "Shower Power!" It's not just a playful part of our Thanksgiving plans; it's a testament to the ways our furry, feathered, and scaled friends comfort us, especially when times are tough. We also delve into the role of teaching and leadership in shaping children's behavior, through an inspiring conversion story. Our daughter Lila's embrace of increased responsibility is another proud moment that we can't wait to share with you, as she continues to inspire us daily.
Holiday season is upon us, and while it brings joy and laughter, it can also sometimes magnify the pain of loss and struggle. This calls for an April Fool's Day spirit! We chat about the importance of finding happiness in these special occasions, emphasizing that every ending indeed heralds a new beginning. As we navigate the complex terrain of grief and healing, our host Carter candidly opens up about his journey through loss and single parenthood, underscoring the importance of openness and resilience.
It’s not all heavy; there's a playful exchange about football teams, friendly rivalries, and a peculiar case of missing kitchen knives. As we approach Thanksgiving, we urge ourselves and you to truly unplug. Step back from the technology that often dominates our lives and dedicate time to our children, our families, the people who matter most. Our co-host, Meredith, is back, and we're thankful for her recovery and return. Here's hoping that this Thanksgiving brings peace and joy to your homes, just as we hope it does ours. Tune in, and let's take this journey together.
Our beloved pet turkey Terry is about to take center stage for a special charity event called "Shower Power!" It's not just a playful part of our Thanksgiving plans; it's a testament to the ways our furry, feathered, and scaled friends comfort us, especially when times are tough. We also delve into the role of teaching and leadership in shaping children's behavior, through an inspiring conversion story. Our daughter Lila's embrace of increased responsibility is another proud moment that we can't wait to share with you, as she continues to inspire us daily.
Holiday season is upon us, and while it brings joy and laughter, it can also sometimes magnify the pain of loss and struggle. This calls for an April Fool's Day spirit! We chat about the importance of finding happiness in these special occasions, emphasizing that every ending indeed heralds a new beginning. As we navigate the complex terrain of grief and healing, our host Carter candidly opens up about his journey through loss and single parenthood, underscoring the importance of openness and resilience.
It’s not all heavy; there's a playful exchange about football teams, friendly rivalries, and a peculiar case of missing kitchen knives. As we approach Thanksgiving, we urge ourselves and you to truly unplug. Step back from the technology that often dominates our lives and dedicate time to our children, our families, the people who matter most. Our co-host, Meredith, is back, and we're thankful for her recovery and return. Here's hoping that this Thanksgiving brings peace and joy to your homes, just as we hope it does ours. Tune in, and let's take this journey together.
Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving. What's what's Terry doing for Thanksgiving? He's staying, staying quiet.
Speaker 1:No, terry's not staying quiet, terry is, he is.
Speaker 2:He is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
Speaker 1:I tell you he is the calmest animal that I've ever had. But he's been very busy, so he's been. We went to Central Hines and took him, took Terry and his ladies and his little little nephews to.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's got offspring.
Speaker 1:Well, we went to tractor supply and bought. I always told myself that if tractor supply ever had turkeys, I'd let Lila get a turkey. Well, they have it when you got about four at a time. So we got two hens and two, two goblers, and I've already traded, I've pretty much negotiated a trade.
Speaker 2:I think I saw that somewhere.
Speaker 1:I think I'm a trade one of one of Terry juniors for a grown hen, and so we're excited about it. It's, terry is actually tomorrow. We got shower power, so I'm going to take him and let all those people get to know him.
Speaker 2:You all going to do that on Thanksgiving day, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no. Friday yeah, okay. Tomorrow's night yeah, so yeah, so I'm going to take him to that and then I think in December we've got a there's like an animal parade and raiment or something, and I think we're going to do that. So he's pretty much booked.
Speaker 2:So how did you get Terry? How did Terry come about?
Speaker 1:Well, we got some, we got about I think it was like 15 hens, 15 chickens, and then, you know, when they went, I said, you know they had turkeys. And I was like well, give me two. You know, I want some turkeys.
Speaker 1:Right tractor supply no this was kind of south of Houston, texas area, and so we got them and came in and we kept the chickens worked for a little bit. But you know, if you leave the chicken coop door open at all, fox, you know they come in and they took out a bunch of them. But Terry, when they about four foxes came in one night and got a bunch of them, well, terry and Smokey were on top of the truck just as they were the only ones left. So he's just, I never realized, I just never.
Speaker 1:I never realized how calm, how much a turkey wants to be with you if you train them right. You know, a lot of people are like man, my turkeys don't, they're very aggressive, they don't like me, and basically I'm like well, you probably didn't spend enough time with them. Because, lila, what she does is we isolate them, and so when we're trying to train them to follow us, we'll put three in her little buggy. She pulls, and then we'll do, we'll put one on the ground and that one will follow us, and so we're just slowly training them to where they always want to be with us. So it's, I guess, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Terry's like Lila's best friend. I mean watching him. It's insane, it's. I want Terry like I want him to be my pet. That is so cool. When you, I don't know, it's been a couple years ago. When I first saw him I was like what? That is crazy. Yeah, very neat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he. You know, lila. You know I've never seen. You know, we underestimate our wildlife, we underestimate our animals and I think that when animals know that you love them, they gravitate towards you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And she does, does it well, she takes care of them. She's never mean to them, she's always spending time with them. It's helped, it's helped us. You know one thing about shower power and it's that's a homeless little ministry that we do downtown and there's a few guys that have dogs and their dogs mean the world to them and I can tell that they mean the world to them because of the way that they kind of interact with them and it's awesome to watch and know that in our hardest days we lean on our animals so much and I can see that with them. So it's to me. You know we're talking about Thanksgiving and I mean for the last few years it's taken so much to stabilize as a one with my legs, you know, rebuilding, rebuild my business but, more importantly, running a house, just me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and being my mom and daddy, and we've had to work together and now we're finally to a point where we're so close. We're so close to having our house like in order and like organized and it's cool because Lila is like she's in it. She's cleaning up the dishes. When I don't tell her to, she's doing, she's won't. She's taking pride in her house and taking pride in you know, hey, I can do more than everybody else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I know that's got to be hard for her to take that on, you know, by herself, kind of as the female, but I love it. You know, when kids step up and I mean y'all taught her that, you and Megan did you know she didn't just pop up and say, hey, I'm gonna do this. You know, kids don't? They learn by instruction, they learn by leadership, they learn by someone showing them, they learn by someone telling them, they learn by someone making them. You know, if you don't make a kid do something, you know, oh, my kid, he Jesus, he won't say yes, ma'am and no ma'am, like here's Will. Well, that's your fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I had a friend he's, he's a his doctor oncologist and he is I think he was from Pakistan, maybe he was a Muslim Muslim at the time. He ended up convert to Christianity. But one thing that they do in there and their culture is they he says yes sir, no sir, to his kids, to where you know he respects them like that.
Speaker 2:My dad told me when I was pregnant with Johnson Drew, so it's been over 11 years ago. He said listen, sissy is what my whole family calls me. I'm Sissy to everybody. He said I'm gonna tell you one thing and I want you to always remember this. He said if you speak to Johnson Drew in a yes, ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir language, he will learn that. So I did it from the very beginning. I mean when he was, he couldn't even walk yet and he started walking really at nine or ten months, like early. But everything he did I'd say no, sir, and when he responded I'd say ma'am, ma'am, yes, ma'am. Anyway, you will not see my son, johnson Drew, when he does not say yes, ma'am or no ma'am, or yes sir or no sir. And I get compliments Thanks to my parents, you know, for doing that to us too on him. You know they're like. He is so respectful. I'm like you better be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I, with Lila, I Realized that I couldn't hide the struggles that we were facing, right, and I just said you know she shouldn't have to go through this, but this is us, this is what we're having a good this is where we are.
Speaker 1:Is where we are and I decided that I was just gonna be real with her about our struggles. I'm not saying to share everything all the deep, but I wanted her to to see, to watch me have to learn how to run a laundry, run, how to Kind of keep the. You know when, when you're grieving, when you're truly and there's a lot of people like these how the holidays are. Just, I've got a lot of friends that this is gonna be, that this is their first holiday season without their closest people and grief.
Speaker 1:What it does is you walk in the house and you'll see a pile on your kitchen table and That'll overwhelm you so much that all it takes is five minutes to clean it up. But but I get stuck in. Oh my god can't do that and I don't know what that is and I haven't completely figured that out yet, but it's a A buddy of mine, adam, he, he, he was telling me he went through the same thing that I went through with raising his kids as a single dad, and he said that cleaning the dishes Hand washing them, not putting them in the dishwasher is there's something to that, this therapeutic.
Speaker 2:I don't even use my dishwasher really and I'll tell you a story.
Speaker 2:Yeah so we have this sweet angel of a person, miss Cheryl, that comes to our house and she just helps. She, she cleans, straightens up and stuff. Anyway, I have all of these really nice chef knives. There are Santuco knives that I chop with and I take it on vacation. I have tons of them. Anyway, they come up missing.
Speaker 2:So I was like miss Cheryl, have you seen my Santuco knives? And she was like what? I put them in the dishwasher. You know, every time I'm there and I'm like, okay, well I'm, the dishwasher is empty, completely empty. So I just bought some more, you know, because I can't live without them, I can't chop without a specific knife. I use them here, I use them at home. Take them on vacation, I'm not kidding you anyway. Um, A year rocks on and I'm just like they're disappearing, they're gone, nowhere to be found. So one day I'm at the house and this is like a year, over a year later, and I open the dishwasher and I Hit something in the top of it. Well, unbeknownst to me, there's a tray in the top of my dish.
Speaker 1:There's a pile of.
Speaker 2:Knives in the top of my dishwasher and this thing is a big square tray and this dishwasher has replaced an old dishwasher in our house. My house is 14 years old. Anyway, this is a new dishwasher. I've never used it. So this tray pulls out and I was like, oh, Christmas.
Speaker 2:So I called Cheryl and I was like Cheryl. I was like, please don't hate me. I never meant to accuse you of anything, but I found all the knobs she's like I told you I put them in the dishwasher. I was like well, I didn't know there was a tray in the top of my dishwasher.
Speaker 1:Why didn't you tell me it was so funny you know one thing I've noticed like Adam, he's a big cook, he's a, he's a big chef, and his knives Are his most valuable asset in this home.
Speaker 2:I pack them up with me and take them as far as in the kitchen. Yep, if I go, if we go to the beach and we're at a condo and I'm like I gotta go get a knife, I'm not, I'm not chopping something with a butter knife, like I can't. What are you doing? Condos we need.
Speaker 1:That's good. So what, what do you Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2:So this Thanksgiving is probably gonna be pretty busy for us. Tomorrow we're gonna go probably to West's parents house for a little get-together and then my family is getting together at two o'clock at my brother's house and it's gonna be a big shindig. We tried to kind of Condense it a little bit because, um, with with West's family and my family and just so many different places, we didn't want to have to go to all those places at one time and that gets difficult for families, I think, during the holiday season, especially if there are divorces and there are different. You know, nobody wants to have to do that and so many people do, carter, they have to, you know there's no relaxation, there's none, and it's just travel, travel, travel.
Speaker 2:Yep, it's just pack a bag, especially if they live far away. You know, my brother lives in Memphis. I got to see him last weekend and we never get to see each other just about three times a year and he's gonna be up there, you know, with his wife and kids and it's just. You know it's a lot, but you just make it work, I guess. So yeah, yeah, I'm gonna take some deviled eggs to my brother, to my twin.
Speaker 1:Alright, so tell, tell everybody how many deviled eggs you made 272 today.
Speaker 2:Wow, this morning all of them, yeah, and I do it every year and, like I told you earlier, I bite off more than I can chew sometimes, but I love it, I enjoy it, you love it and you're also impacting a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Makes me For them not having to do that for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:When they think they're good. I think they're good, they're delicious.
Speaker 1:Do you have any like crunchy parts in them, or just mm-hmm, just?
Speaker 2:straight home style deviled eggs.
Speaker 1:I got you.
Speaker 2:Well, cool Dealer suite. What about you? What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1:Let's see, we are going to. Our family usually gets up early and we have a deer hunt, cousins hunt, and so we'll do that, and then we'll have breakfast at you know, at the cabin and stuff like that, and then later that afternoon we will my mom cook, my mom and aunt they're awesome cooks, so we'll do that. And then we were going to leave and head to looking at some some track, some property kind of in the Midwest, and so we've got some due diligent period to kind of look through some, some issues there. So we were gonna leave Thursday night. But I just can't miss shower power. I just can't do it.
Speaker 1:And it's crazy that a few months ago kind of went and tried that out and did it and the first few weeks was weird, it was awkward. Not awkward, but it's just different, right. But now I'm look at these guys and the people that come and they're and you know, you not only get to know them, they become your friends, and so I just can't imagine not being there to be able to rub it in that. You know, have a guy there. He's a big Kansas City fan and he last week he was just ripping me because I'm a Jaguar fan right and they got beat.
Speaker 1:Well, this week I'm sticking around because I'm gonna rub it in his face. So, anyway, I love. I love them because they have nothing. They have nothing and they're so happy right they're happy and they're joy. They have the joy, the all these things that we talk about.
Speaker 2:it's like I love the dedication. You know. I don't know if you remember me telling you about Noah and Christopher when we had Will on the alligator Slayer.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 2:Noah and Christopher are the two guys Noah works for us anyway. We had Friendsgiving Sunday this past Sunday, and just because Noah and Christopher don't really have anybody I mean, they have some family but their family is busy and there's a lot going on there. They're two grown men anyway, chrissy their mother that took care of them daily. She always cooked outrageously. She literally has every spice in her cabinet. I'm just enamored when I go to their house and she has 40 years of cookbooks and I'm just like, oh my gosh, but she cooked traditional Thanksgiving, christmas, everything for them every year.
Speaker 2:And so this year some staff members and I thought it would be a good idea to do that for them because they're just, you know, neither one of them can drive, so they're just there. So we had Friendsgiving and they were so thankful and so grateful and they were just. They just wanted to talk, you know, and Noah's coming Monday to help decorate the restaurant for Christmas. You know he they're still grieving. You know, chrissy just died in September after Labor Day, the day after, and so they're still going through that. And she was young, she was 62 so and they're everything. So they're getting out of it and Noah's trying to get back to work and it was good for everybody to go and just be a part of that day for them, just to talk, you know, and just to visit and say hey, noah, we love you you know, and now that you did it, do you, do you?
Speaker 1:what do you think you've got? I mean, are you feel like you got a lot out of it?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I feel so like emotionally powerful. I don't know how.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that means, or I don't know how to say it. No, that's pretty much it.
Speaker 2:I just feel like I can, just I can bleed so much into somebody sometimes and I just the love that I have for those two boys, because I do, because they don't have anybody, I mean, they're not dogs, carter, they're not turkeys. They're humans, that's right, and I love them. They just they gotta have somebody.
Speaker 1:I can't be their mama, but I can help. You gotta fill in, everybody's gotta fill in.
Speaker 2:Well, and if somebody steps up, just like you step up. You don't have to do that at show or power you don't have to do that. You don't have to take time out of your day to go and do that for people that are less fortunate, or whatever you wanna say people that.
Speaker 1:But now it helps me balance out, like if I'm getting too like I love what I do work wise but what I do I could work. I could literally work 100 hours a week and love it, but that in that ministry I've just decided to block off Fridays and just go there. And it's the craziest thing because when I started I met I had some close, some older, an older couple that went to lunch. I went to lunch with them and she said she looked at me and I had never really had lunch with her. I do a bottle study with her husband and she looked at me and she said you need to smile more, you need to have more joy. And I was like you've only spent like 30 minutes with me, but you're right. And I told her. I said I said that's something that I have been struggling with, because when you go through crazy stuff, it doesn't matter how funny you are or whatever. That's kind of stuff gets numb.
Speaker 2:It does, yep.
Speaker 1:And so being able to get back into this. So I just decided I said you know in the past, if I'm if to get through some things, sometimes helping people helps me. And so we started doing this. And then Lila went back to school and then I've just been. These guys are just when I pull up and get up there, they're like come and give me a high five and I'm like dude, somebody wants to see me this way.
Speaker 2:I know. So on that, same thought, smile and same thing. There's two young girls that work here in the rest of us, old folks, ray and Alexis, and they're always smiling and sometimes I'm like I have to remind myself to smile because my surroundings sometimes and the heavy weight of just life in general, just things, just kids and bills and things, that are piling up and laundry and dishes, you know just things that there's just a pile of, and there might be several piles, it's just there's a weight sometimes and I have to remind myself to smile.
Speaker 2:But these two young girls, they just smile all the time, you know, and they're like good morning and I'm like hey, and I'm so excited to see them because they're always excited to see me. I may not always be excited to see them. I mean I am, but I don't show it on my face like they do and I wish I could. You know, there's just some people.
Speaker 1:I know that just they have a constant smile.
Speaker 2:Yes, and so I have to remind myself I'm like all right, turn that crown upside down.
Speaker 1:You can do it, you can smile, and I think that we're kind of built the same way in that we're so intense, sometimes we're just, you know we're in it or whatever, and it's sometimes you forget to slow down and enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And but that's you know. We've been talking before this. What are we gonna talk about? And I think that you know Meredith said basically Joy wanted to. She wanted to talk about Joy and I'm. You know. It's crazy to me to think that I'm so close to getting back into it. I used to be. My favorite holiday of the year was April Fool's Day.
Speaker 2:My dad you had something for everybody.
Speaker 1:My dad and brother got to a point where they were like they woke up at 5 am on April Fool's Day because they weren't fixing to get food. Like what's he gonna do? Funny one I got.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And he's not gonna like this. But who? Your dad, my brother, but his wife, Mallory, will love this. So I called Mallory and I said a few days before I said I got one. I got it for Collin, Cause Collin, my brother, is like he's serious, he's a great guy but he is easy to fool. Easy to fool. Well, I got a brick Okay, me and Megan, we got a brick and we got some.
Speaker 1:Had a buddy that has, I think, Allied Steven McIntosh, Allied Body Shop or something like that. And he said, you know, he gave me a piece of glass and so we brought that glass home and we basically got in the garage and started jumping on it trying to break it to and we finally broke it into little bitty pieces. Okay, this is a good y'all. Look, if you're a needin' neighbor Fool's joke, I'm telling you this is it, this is the ultimate fool. But you break it up into little bitty pieces, Okay, and then you go take a brick and you go roll down his window that morning and you put all the glass on the ground and the floorboard.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And Ann in the seat, you know, all over, you know it looks like it his window busted. And so she comes in that morning and Mallory's like Colin, colin, someone broke into your truck. Oh, I bet they got that gun. I bet they got that gun. And so he runs out there and he's just all, all you know, he's in his box or something and and-.
Speaker 2:He's gonna be so mad at you.
Speaker 1:He is Sorry, colin, but anyway he Mallory's like April Fool's, he's like behind this column is like wait what? And so then that point on-.
Speaker 2:He's got an AK-47 waitin' on somebody to come around. He is.
Speaker 1:I have. I've pushed them to the limits on April Fool's, so I'm hopin' maybe this year. I haven't done an April Fool's in probably four or five years, so maybe this year will be the one-.
Speaker 2:See, april Fool's brings you joy. You know it is. It's joyous watching somebody's face light up when they've been fooled.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:It's fun to see people that have pure joy on their face, for whatever reason.
Speaker 1:That's right. So what would you give your you know advice to, let's just say, people that are how to get in the mindset for Thanksgiving, because I'm gonna release this tonight, I'm not gonna do it Friday.
Speaker 2:No, I love it yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that it's good to go ahead and do it.
Speaker 2:You know, I think that they're this day and age. I think that there are broken people and there are broken families and I think I wish, I pray super hard for those broken pieces, whatever they may be, of a single person. You know, a family, people that have lost people, just for people to just put a smile on their face and have joy in their life, just realizing what they have, because life is so precious and it is so short and it can be taken from you in an instant or you can give it up. There are so many people that do that too, and that's a real, real thing. You know people that are suicidal, that's real. You know they're so scared of where they're gonna end up, or if they're gonna end up, and they end it. And then there's people that just they just exist, you know, I mean I just I just pray that everybody has joy during the holidays. You know I wish that people would have joy every day, but especially during the holidays, you know everybody gets together and they're smelling good food.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I think that what happens is especially for the ones that have that lose somebody and this is their first, first holiday to do this. It's the traditions that they're not picking up, that they're like man, this is everything. Everything changes and everything does change. But that's also opportunity to for you to start new, start new traditions. You know it's not. It's not you know, to me, it's all in your mindset. You know. You know that it's like when we have pain, you got to just you just can't look at the pain and say this is going to stop me. You know, and it's just like the same thing on your. To me, what I'm trying to break into is it's okay to be goofy again, it's okay to have fun again, it's okay to not be so serious.
Speaker 2:I will tell you something, and this happened today I. It may not have any correlation to anything, but I think it does. One of my favorite singers is Brett Eldridge. He's a country singer and one of it maybe my all-time favorite song that he sings is called cycles. One of the lines in it says every last goodbye is a new start or brand new start. It's just another start. Every last goodbye is another start.
Speaker 2:But the song is about they're not together, but then they're together, him and some girl, and it's just a cycle, because as humans we do move through cycles, like we. We have heartbreak and then we cycle around and we have joy, you know, and it gets better, but then there's always more heartbreak and then there's always more joy or there's, you know, there's new. This is deep. There's new births in the family and there's new marriages and there's new. There's new deaths and there's new births and there's new marriages. It's cycles, and I was listening to it this morning at 6.30 on the way to work, because I had to meet the truck this morning and it was dark and I was like man. That's so true. Like we live in cycles In our mind. It's never going to change. There's always going to be new birth, death, joyous occasions down occasions and you got to make that cycle keep going.
Speaker 2:You got to make that cycle keep going and you got to stay there. You got to. You got to keep it, you just got to go. It's like riding a bike, it's that easy. You just got to go every day.
Speaker 1:You know one thing I would say for the ones that have I've got, I've got some friends that have felt, you know, don't have their spouse this year, don't have their son this year, don't have their best friend this year. For the ones that are going through this for the first time, first season, first time, for literally this is tomorrow. Thanksgiving is your first time to experience not having him there. It's okay to not get together as the family.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because you know you, you. I think that a lot of times you try to force okay and try to make it that you know that person. You know we're not going to stop traditions we got to you know.
Speaker 2:I'm here, I'm happy and I'm not.
Speaker 1:Things are not normal. Exactly they're going to be normal again, so for that it's okay to say no.
Speaker 1:For the ones that, for the ones that are going through that, it's probably it could be really good for you to just say you know I'm going to be with my kids this, this, this one or you know maybe another day, but make, just, make sure you relax, make sure and that's really with everybody is just I say these things and I'm talking about it, and it's I'm talking to myself too. You know it's like hey, don't, don't, don't. If you you might need a year, you might need this season, but don't forget them, don't, don't get back into it. You got a time's going to heal, that time's going to fix those things, and but if you, if you force it, you're likely going to get into a family fight or something like that. So if anything like that happens, just choose. You know, choose joy, choose not to to get involved, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's okay. I mean, it's just. It's just like making choices, carter, that we make every day. You know, when I told you that Wes would tell me you're not going to work today, it's, it's a choice that he made for me and I was like, oh, you know, I can't not go.
Speaker 2:But I didn't go, so it's okay to not go, it's okay to miss a basketball game because I had to work or whatever. But it's also okay to just say, hey, I'm not going this time I can't, emotionally, I'm not there, I'm not ready, I'm not going, I won't be there. You know, y'all have a great time. Happy Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Well, we do what we do. What's what works for us is we've already had our Christmas tree up since Halloween, and the reason why is because there's just so much for us to process that season and we want to remember it. We want to grieve on our terms.
Speaker 1:We don't want to grieve on someone that's grieving too, so we got to help them. So it's been awesome to be able to get to the end of that and and and have my house and be like. You know, no guys around here want to go fall to looking for decorations for at the store Right, but I'm finally to a point where I'm like I'm excited to go pick out some Christmas pillows.
Speaker 2:See I love it.
Speaker 1:Congratulations, yeah, I mean that's.
Speaker 2:That's like I told you before. I don't, I don't know what you've been through and I can't imagine, but to just to just take on life again and be like all right, let's do this. Yeah, you know, for Lila and for me, and let's, we got to do this, we got to keep going. You know this is a cycle.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's just, it's part of it and and I hope it never happens to anybody else, but we know it will and we'll be there for those people you know, or yeah, you know, I think that for, for, for us, it was, it's, it's.
Speaker 1:I'm finally at a in a piece that I'm a good dad Yep, I'm a good, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a. I'm a good person. Yep, I'm a, I'm a. My house is not all together. It's still not. I still get little piles. I've always had piles. I used to leave my dad's tools in the yard all growing up, but but Lila this year was like it's been bothering her, stressing her. You know, when somebody comes over, she little OCD.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's necessarily OCD, it's just she wants. She wants people to be proud, she's proud I was just fixing to ask you, Carter, if you are proud. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because that's a big question.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Are you proud of the life that you have built?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, I'm not.
Speaker 1:What I'm not proud of is the the, you know emotional jumping down people's throats for the last few years. But but one thing that I learned in treatment that people need to realize is and they don't but unless you walk that road and know what it's like to listen to jingle bells and everybody's happy, and you don't have that, you're going to jump down people's throats and those people need to understand that grief. You don't need to, you need to let that go Like. You don't need to hold that Like and it's and and I'm not trying to say give myself a break, but I'm saying but I'm saying it's embarrassing to me that I did some of those things to different, different people or whatever. But I was so, had no clue what was happening and what to do, that I was so defensive over everything. But now I'm like you know, I was like oh you know certain situation doesn't, she might, she doesn't.
Speaker 1:She wants to be proud of people coming over. So she's trying to really fix things up and it might not be the way that you know they. Someone might see one little thing wrong. And I'm like, lila, hold up, hold up a minute, look where we're at. We've got, we are this close, and not only that, we're this close. We are so living together and doing and and you're, you know, I treat her like she's 14. If she, if she, she's 11. But if she, if she takes that and takes advantage of that, I'll treat her like she's 11. But I'm going to raise her a few years older, not saying that I don't want her to experience 11 years, I just will. I just think that we can give our kids a lot more respect and a lot more, you know. So.
Speaker 2:I do. Yeah, she, she will respect you for that and she will respect you for the fact that you're teaching her to have joy and show that joy and live that joy and not jump down people's throats for whatever reason. Like I'm learning in my halfway to 80 life that I don't need all that, like I'm just I'm absolutely going to dismiss it. If you have and I've told you this before in a podcast if you have nothing to bring to my life, I don't need you. I mean seriously.
Speaker 2:I mean that's sad, but it is pound sand because I don't need you around me anywhere near me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I that's that's so hurtful. I think that I think that one thing that I've and look y'all, there's a lot, I've got a lot of people that I got a lot of people that didn't like to have it like the way that I've. I started a little campaign starting August 1st with this and all that.
Speaker 1:And at the beginning of it I started deleting stories really fast, like within 30 minutes, hour, and and and. The reason why is because I wanted people to understand and experience and see how long, if they were, they could get aware of something wrong with me. There wasn't anything wrong with me, but when people go through traumatic experience they got trauma A lot of times they don't believe in who they are.
Speaker 1:You wanted to see if they would notice and reach out be like hey, and it took 64 days, and I'm not, that's not a big deal.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But I'm just saying, like we've been doing this for a minute now, and I think that what, what I'm trying to get people to understand and and see is is be aware of your situation, of your surroundings.
Speaker 2:And it's okay to talk about it.
Speaker 1:It's okay to talk about it Always. And so to me.
Speaker 2:I welcome it. I'm like people just bring it. I'm not, I can't, there's nothing that you can tell me that's going to hurt my feelings or break my back any worse than it's already broken. Come on. Like bring it to me, let's. Let's discuss. Okay, get the get the joy back in your life. And let's get this, this discussion, over with and let's get on. You know level ground.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean interrupt you.
Speaker 1:No, you're good, I think. I think we just need to. I just think that this, thanks to these, the holidays you're going to be, if you're, this is a lot. This will probably wrap it up.
Speaker 1:But if this is your first season or if it's a new five years in, you need to understand that most the time, if you're grieving, you're going to try to fix somebody else, you're going to get upset with somebody else. It's going to be whatever, and you need to be aware of what you're going through, what you're experiencing, and you need to process those things before you go get with family. You can't go, you know, and that's where the craziness blows up, and I'm thankful for our family hasn't didn't do that. But when we change traditions up, like Megan's family, they go with her you know Megan's brother for Thanksgiving or the first year or two, that kind of that. I didn't like that because I was like we hold on, we got to get back. This is our family, you know. But now I'm like so glad that they did that. They, because it's okay to not be with your family on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Yep, it is okay and I do want to say this I know we have to end it, but just strength begins with joy and I totally just made that up. It didn't come from a book or anything. But if you're gonna be a strong person, you have to be a joyous person. In my personal opinion, if you are going to be a strong person for other people in yourself and for your family, for your kids, whatever you know rain pour, it's a horrible storm you're going through you have to have joy. Joy's gonna make you strong. Strength begins with joy and I believe that.
Speaker 2:I just do, I believe a smile on your face is contagious and I think that people can hear it in my voice right now, with me smiling it just it makes other people lifted they just feel better and it's also.
Speaker 1:Let's see here, you guys.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, no, no, no, everybody wants pizza. They close the restaurant at three At three, it's five o'clock.
Speaker 1:Everybody's ready for their pizza on Wednesday night.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but going back to that, what I've noticed since I started helping with shower prior, my business is improving. Yeah, not because of you know, people noticing me doing these things. It's because I'm choosing to get around a group of people that are joyful, that are happy, and when I and it's gonna take two, three, four, five weeks, but once those things connect, you're gonna. If you will surround yourself with joyful people, you're gonna be joyful. If you surround yourself with strong people, you're gonna be. I mean yeah.
Speaker 2:And choose others, don't choose yourself. I always, I just, I think that the society is so selfish, especially like the young kids I come in contact with today. They just I'm just like oh you, honestly, you have no prayer and I will pray for you, but you are so selfish and so self-centered and man, I know and I think that I don't think that I don't know where the whistleblower is? I don't know, I know.
Speaker 2:But we gotta, we gotta wake up and I wish I could be that for some people. But then there's, we're doing it there's. Southern Cooth, you know where you can't piss people off, Sorry.
Speaker 1:Hey, I love it. You're real.
Speaker 2:It happens.
Speaker 1:That's you know. The thing about it is you gotta be real, you gotta. You gotta tell, you gotta wake up and say, hey, are we really given our youth and and and and not just you know, think about this. Go into school, you're pushing, we're pushing our kids now on like a third grade level, it's like a fifth grade level, yup, but we're not doing that in other aspects of our lives with them.
Speaker 2:Are we scared?
Speaker 1:I don't know if we're scared, I just don't. I think that we're we're tired. I think that we don't. We we've gotten used to heading the iPad and and and we don't and we don't, we don't. We wake up when they're 15 and we're like what happened? Not me, no, not me.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because my job is to you know.
Speaker 2:But we did that. Yes, we were like okay, I'm busy washing dishes right now or doing whatever. Go play on your phone. Terrible decision. Yeah, they need to be in the woods, they need to be on a yep, I'm with you and they need to be in the dishes with you.
Speaker 1:I'm completely guilty.
Speaker 2:I know they need to be in the dishes with you.
Speaker 1:I know Absolutely All right, well, well, we hope y'all have a joyful, crazy, non drama field Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, happy Thanksgiving y'all. We'll see y'all next week. Not sure what's going to happen, but we're you know, the last few weeks Meredith had to take take some time off because of the infection and we're thankful that you are back ready and I am ready, yeah, 100%. All right OK.