The Power of Community and Navigating Big Feelings with Author Meredith Rusu

Welcome to another episode of Special Needs Moms Circle of Strength!

Episode Description:
Welcome back to Special Needs Mom's Circle of Strength! In this episode, Valerie sits down with Meredith Rusu, a talented author of over 100 children's books, including the award-winning Mighty Moods series. Meredith shares her journey as a mother of two and how navigating her children’s big feelings inspired her to create stories that resonate with kids and parents alike. From her unique dual role as a licensed and original content author to the heartwarming backstory of her picture books, There's a Yeti in My Tummy and There's a Robot in My Socks, Meredith offers valuable insights on building a "circle of strength" for every child.

Together, Valerie and Meredith explore: 

-The importance of building a “village” to support children and parents alike
-How moods—big and small—impact kids (and adults!) and are a universal parenting challenge
-The inspiration behind Meredith’s Mighty Moods picture book series and its vibrant illustrations by Martin Moran who’s joyful artwork brings her stories to life.
-Using stories to foster connection and understanding
-The value of grandparents and community in a child’s emotional growth
-Finding joy in the chaos of parenting

Whether you’re parenting neurotypical kids, children with developmental delays, or navigating your own moods, this episode is filled with laughter, relatability, and practical takeaways.

 
Meredith Rusu lives in New Jersey with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of more than one hundred children’s books, notably There’s a Yeti in my Tummy and There’s a Robot in My Socks, the first two picture books in her award-winning Mighty Moods series. She has also written for many popular licenses including LEGO, Disney/Pixar, Bluey, and Star Wars.

Connect with Meredith:

https://meredithrusu.com 

https://www.instagram.com/meredithrusuwrites/

Link for book: https://a.co/d/ijaa4KG  (US)

https://a.co/d/3aTCuK2 (Canada)

Live with Intention - Embrace the Journey.

Connect with me:

Valerie's Links: https://bit.ly/3RL0da2

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk

Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

https://a.co/d/03hFdZI4 (United States)

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Transcript

It takes a village and it takes a whole collection of tools working together to try and figure out how to reach individual child. So I'd say that's my connection. Circle of strength is like I put hashtag truth, because it really is, it's a village and it's a circle of strength to help all the kids and figure out the best way to help each individual one.

Welcome to another episode of Special Needs Mom's Circle of Strength podcast. We're so glad that you're here checking in. And I have an amazing guest with me this morning, Meredith Rusu. Meredith lives in New Jersey with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of more than 100 children's books. Amazing! Notably, there's a Yeti in my tummy and There's a Robot in my socks. The first two picture books in the award-winning Mighty Mood series. She has also written for many popular licenses, including Lego, Disney Pixar, Bluey, and Star Wars. All right, well, welcome. Meredith, we're so glad you're here.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to have a chance to talk with you. And yeah, share a little bit about what I do with you and your listeners.

All right. Okay, Meredith, I start off with the same question for all of my guests. What is one unique thing about you?

Okay, I'd say what makes me unique in relation to my job and my writing is that I'm two authors in one. So I'm not just a traditional picture book author or children's book author. I also write license titles. And license titles are against children's television and toys and movies and all kids' favorite characters, whether it's Bluey or Peppa Pig or Star Wars, like you mentioned. So I've been doing that for, I was an editor for 10 years in children's publishing, and then I moved over to freelance writing for license titles. And I've been doing that for about 10 years now. So that's the first type of author I am. But the second type is my original work, which is my heart and soul with my Mighty Moods picture book series and then more exciting stuff that's coming out soon. So two for one.

Ooh, okay. Well, Meredith, I just have to say for our listeners that you don't look like you've had 20 years in the industry. Just saying.

 (Laughing) 

I will take what I can get. I appreciate that. Thank you.

 (Laughing)

 All right, so Meredith, tell us a little about your connection with Special Needs Mom.

Sure, so I have two young sons. They're seven and nine now. My nine-year-old is named Matthew and my seven-year-old is named Luke. And I love those boys, but I'm surprised to hear you say that I don't look like I've been in the industry 20 years because I feel like I've aged 20 years in the past 10 years, since I've had them. And as they were, especially when they were younger in the preschool age, three to five, and when they were starting out in preschool, and then during the beginning of the pandemic lockdown, home with me all the time, they had a lot of big feelings. Like bonkers ways of expressing themselves and also just like a lot of huge emotions because of their age, how children develop, they're not supposed to be able to handle those emotions in a mature way. And what I learned through them and all of their big feelings and just getting through every single day, new, there was a new problem at preschool every single day and a new challenge. And there was joy in the chaos, but there was also a lot of struggle. And I've seen that no matter what kid it is, whether it's a child who is working through special needs with their parent or their caretaker, whether it's a child who's just really upset that it's the blue plate instead of the pink plate this morning, that their waffles are on, there's no one-sized fits all way to reach every child, to help every child. It's crucial to have as many tools in your toolbox as possible to try and connect with each kid on the level that clicks with them. And, I found that with my two sons, I saw that with all the other kids at preschool pickup, I saw in the way that my son's teachers in preschool and I mean, up through now, the big feelings don't go away, they just get bigger in different ways. But I mean, I've seen that time and again. And so it really is, it takes a village and it takes a whole collection of tools working together to try and figure out how to reach individual child. So I'd say that's my connection. Circle of strength is like, I put hashtag truth because it really is, it's a village and it's a circle of strength to help all the kids and figure out the best way to help each individual one.

Thanks so much for sharing that Meredith. And you're right, it does take a village and I live in North America, the rest of my family is all in England. And so I missed that having family connection to kind of help with the raising of my children. And so you do, you have to look, where else can I get connection? Where else can I get community? Where else can I have that assistance that I need, that village to help me with my children? And so it's very important. So thank you for acknowledging that. Yeah, absolutely. For sure. So can you give us the backstory as to how you became the author of the Mighty Moods Picture Book series?

Yes, so the idea originally came to me when, so when my boys were in that preschool, that very volatile, very big feeling preschool age, my little guy was three and my older son was five. And it was right at the beginning of the lockdown. So that community and circle of strength, we were isolated from in a very real way as with young children because virtual didn't work for them. It really didn't. I mean, we tried, but they were too little and all their big feelings were all mine all the time. And my older son especially, he loved to feel big and mighty. Bigger than his size, bigger than any of us. There was no morning where he wasn't stomping around and roaring and getting up on the chair. And if something went wrong, there were tantrums, and there were outbursts. And I remember one specific morning, he always still has a big messy mop of hair, he got my husband's hair. And whenever he wakes up, he has this giant mop of bed head, and back then it was especially unruly. And as he's eating his waffles at the table, and I see this hair and I see the syrup going everywhere, I'm like, oh my gosh, it's like there's a Yeti in your hair, buddy. It's like there's a creature in your hair. And that was when I had like the aha moment. I was like, that's a pretty cool way to personify and think about these big feelings that I'm seeing you and your brother express all the time. And, so I had the idea that in the first book, which is called, "There's a Yeti in my Tummy," it's about a little boy. he is named Matthew because, you know, the inspiration was hitting very close to home. And he feels so big and mighty. It's like there's a Yeti just bursting to get out from him, a guy out of him, whether he's stomping to his classroom with a bonky Yeti beat in his feet, whether he's sneezing and the sneeze is so loud, it startles everyone. He's like, no, no, no, it's okay. I've got a Yeti in my nose. That's where this is coming from. And one of my favorite spreads in the book, this is something my son would do if he was nervous, like, you know, if you're nervous that you can't kick the kick ball, it recess with your feet that, you know, you're not good enough. Oh, you just turn around and you whack it with a big Yeti butt. Because what, he likes to be silly as a way to deflect his insecurities as a little kid, which is adorable and also very relatable. So that was how I had the idea for the first story about this mighty Yeti that was expressing his big feelings, but how the parents and the teacher in the book are much more patient than I am. And we're helping to guide his big feelings in constructive and loving ways, like using his Yeti to show love and to help one another, other friends rather than destruction. And then, so then I have the second book in the series, which just came out that's called, "There's a Robot in My Socks," which is about a little girl who wants everything to go perfectly, just the right way. Again, a combination of both my sons, but it derives from like, you don't have the right snuggly, you're not taking a nap. Don't have the right color plate, not eating those chicken nuggets. Or for me, like if I didn't cut them the right way for the boys, they were dead to them. So I liked the idea of using a robot in the second book to personify this idea of wanting everything to go a very specific way, because even as adults, we like to feel control and kids like to feel control. And, the story progresses where she's at her grandma's house for the first time. And everything is different. And she's feeling very overwhelmed. And the grandma is able to connect with her by saying, like, "The grandma has robots too, we all do," that come out and try to make her house, like the grandma's robot tries to make the house perfect and clean and neat. But she's learned from when she was a little girl and her grandma bought her a big, messy ice cream cone once, she's learned that sometimes life is better with a little mess. And yeah, that's the, I mean, those are two very brief synopses of the series, but each one was derived from seeing the way my sons would struggle with big feelings and the way their peers would. And, kind of crystallizing that into stories that I was hopeful other kids would be able to resonate with as well.

 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Wow.

Sorry, that was a mouthful, I know.

No, no, not at all, not at all. I just think that's amazing in as much as, you know, you've taken something that all children, whether they're on the spectrum, whether there's  developmental delays, whether they're neurotypical, quote unquote, moods is huge. And,

Yeah!

 I think it's something that as a parent, you don't necessarily, I'm thinking back to myself, so I can only really relate to myself in as much as, did I really sort of sit down and think through the mood thing and how to address their moods? Because you're right, we all have them. As grownups, we have them. We're supposed to grow out of them, but really, do we?

No, it's important. I mean, and we're growing along with our kids, you know? They bring out new moods that we didn't know we had, 

Right? Exactly. So I love the fact that you've taken on the mighty moods because it's huge, right? It's mighty, it's big. It's happening, and it is something that will continue to happen, so learning as a parent to address them. So I am looking through your book and thinking, hmm, yep, there's things I need to take note of here. So I love how you've tackled that and brought suggestions and strategies into how to deal with these moods because we're gonna have them. And you know, you think of the toddlers, two-year-olds, and they're having their tantrums, and so it's an expectation. When we get to teenagers, my children are 19 and 22 now, you expect it kind of coming through the teen years, but to be honest with you, I don't know that I actually took the time to kind of really figure out how best to deal with those moods. So I love that you've taken on this topic, this mighty, massive topic of being able to handle moods. So thank you so much for doing that.

Of course. I mean, I was really hopeful to. I remember when we were in the thick of it, one of the things that my husband and I were always struggling with and trying to do was to find the joy and the chaos, because if you're not laughing, you're crying. And I wanted to, as much as I want the books to be fun and silly and zany for the kids to connect, I wanted to have that wink and nod to the parents, like, yeah, the struggle is real. It's hard. And when your kid is melting down in the supermarket or at church or on the toy store, and you feel like that hot embarrassment that everyone's judging you, you're a bad parent. I know as a parent now, I have so much, like, you know, more, grace is not the right word, but just like empathy. When I see that, I'm like, oh man, I've been there. We've all been there. Cause every single kid does those sorts of things and that we're all in this together. There's no parent that has a child that just doesn't have big feelings. They're just there.

So I'm just wanting to give a shout out to your illustrator of your book. The books are fabulous, by the way, audience. So I definitely would recommend you to go and look at them, but your illustrator, Martin Moran did an amazing job. Just the vivid colors, the brightness of the pictures. It's just all beautiful. And I love that it's all in rhyme because it just, for me, rhyme really resonates. So thank you.

The books wouldn't be the way that they are. The series wouldn't have the life that they do without his illustrations. He just gets it. And, I've never had the opportunity to meet him in person because he's in Argentina. But when I was working with my publisher, they presented him as the illustrator that they were hoping to use. In one of his videos, he said like, as he was reading the Yeti manuscript, he's like, I know this boy, this is my son. And he just, he gets it. He gets the little bits and nuances that make everything chaotically joyful. And he just, he brings it to life in a way that I could never have even hoped for. So I'm beyond grateful. The story wouldn't be the story without his illustrations. They're very cool.

Totally, totally. And I love that you talk about joy in the chaos and chaotic joyfulness. Tell me a little bit more about that.

I've got so many stories from when they were little, like little, little. And I'm trying even now when they're older, now that they're seven and nine, to find the joy in the chaos. It's challenging, I admit. It's challenging as they're getting older now. I keep reminding myself, but bigger kids, bigger problems. It's different than just the diaper days or didn't wanna go to soccer practice. It's a constant journey, especially when they were little. And there was so much that was out of our control in terms of how the day was gonna go. You try and plan out and you have the nap schedules and you have the you know, I'm a very big planner. I'm definitely a type A robot type person. I like to know what's gonna happen. And with a young kid, you just don't know what's gonna happen. And I have one story in particular. I don't know if this episode will air before Halloween, but this is a Halloween story. My older son was in pre-K three and it was his first Halloween costume party, you know celebration. And he had this race car driver costume that he had picked out that he'd worn and he loved. And then that morning he's just like, no, don't want the costume. And I'm like, but this was my first year as a parent for Halloween in that way, first time. And I was like, no, no, you're gonna wear the costume.

We're gonna get the pictures. And he was melting down. I forced him in the costume. I kept thinking that as soon as we got to school that he was going to settle down, see his friends. Nope, like complete puddle on the floor, just writhing and wailing and ripped the costume off like Hulk's tail. And his teacher, she was the most amazing woman. Her name is Mrs. Kraft, or she was his pre-K three teacher. She's like, he's pretty upset. Let me see if I can calm him down. And she like lifts him up off the floor as he's like flailing. And the other teacher, there was an assistant teacher and she's like, do you need a hug? I'm like, I really do. And it's that sort of stuff that now looking back, even like later that week, I mean, it was a little fresh at the moment, but looking back and just laughing about it because you're like, I cannot believe that happened. I cannot believe that all went down that way. That was not the plan. And in those early, like, you know, preschool kindergarten years, when there was so much outside of control in terms of behavioral temperaments and very little understanding on their part of how to manage those emotions and consequences, because they're little, looking at it from a way of just like, well, this is Tuesday.

(Laughs)

 This is where we're at. The bar has been set.

Approaching it in that way, it helped. It helped to feel like this two shall pass sort of mentality and to kind of live in the moment rather than to let the frustration get the best of us, if that makes sense.

Absolutely. I am with you as a planner and I have everything down to the minute of how things are gonna go. I'm very task oriented. I'm understanding that I'm not the only one. So thank you for raising your hand as well. 

Oh my gosh. 

But it is so important to be able to roll with it and having children definitely forces you to roll with it and just the recognition that we can't control everything. And as you say, our little people, their emotions kind of rule them somewhat until they get to learn how to control their emotions. But what I found interesting for me, because it took me a little while, I'm gonna say, their emotions would start to escalate and then I would come and start escalating with them. And so, it is a process to learn how to do that de-escalation and to look at it from a different perspective and to put my agenda aside and let's just deal with the moment right now, to be present in the moment. We can deal with what's happening right now. It might not look like what we want it to look like, but we have to accept that and deal with what's in front of us right now. 

And that's hard. I mean, I feel like every day, every experience like some days I’m the calm one and my husband is the one who's just like at the end of his rope. And then there are other days where it's the exact opposite. And I'm like, how are you not, how are you not like, you know, ready to just throw your hands up, like, you know, and just be like, that's it, I'm done. Because, because everything is really like, you know, going South right now. And he's like, ah, you know, it's fine. They were good this morning. And you find balance as best you can, but it is the emotional regulation, learning how to regulate emotions as a parent is hard too.

And that was not something that I understood until not that long ago. Then I have emotions as well that need to be regulated and that I can be dysregulated and certain things can push me over the edge and things that just out of the blue will push me over the edge. And so understanding that I need to regulate and find strategies that I can implement, like in the moment to self-regulate so that I can then help regulate my child. Right?

Yeah, it's a constant process. It's a constant learning process of what works best. You know, it's funny because there, the messages that I say at the end of the books, the first two, and then there's a third one coming up, but usually the messages at the end are ones that I've used with my sons. When the mom's like, there's nothing wrong with feeling strong, like there's a Yeti in your heart, just use the strength for good things, that's the most important part. Like I remember actually saying that to my son at bedtime and you hope that it resonates. But then the next morning, there's the Yeti's back. And it's baby steps. It's all baby steps and a constant journey.

And I think part of it is that consistency. You know, you're just reiterating day after day and it will resonate as their hearts and their young minds are able to comprehend and be able to implement and internalize what it is you're teaching them.

Do you know, it's funny, my little guy, my younger son, Luke, when he does something, I don't wanna say wrong, but when he does something sneaky or naughty or something, he spilled something because he was being silly and I'd warned him five different times, stop flinging around that, you know, little snake thing you got as the Friday Fun Box prize. You're gonna spill your water and the water spills. And I'm like, I told you the water was gonna spill. He'll come, he'll be like, it's okay, calm. And I'm like, you rascal, you're doing exactly what I tell you. And you're using it on me, but I don't like it right now.

(Laughing)

But I love it, because he's picking up what you're putting down.

They pick it up and they use it back on you and sometimes it's good and sometimes it's very annoying.

(Laughing)

All right, well, thank you so much Meredith for sharing about your books. And I just wanna say that we will have in the show notes a link to Meredith's book. And I do encourage you to look at it, to buy it, to share it with anyone that you think will benefit from it. And I'm sure most people in your world will benefit from it. So I just wanna just before we start to wrap up, previously she shared with me about grandparents holding a unique role in a children's emotional development. Can you share just a little bit more about that?

So that was a huge part of the inspiration for the grandma and The Robot in my Socks. Both my sons are very close with my parents and then my husband's parents. And grandparents just have a very unique way of connecting with the grandchildren in that, they can make them feel safe even when they're away from mom and dad. They're being taken care of by the grownup who raised their grownup. There's like this instant trust and this instant bond. And, I think one of the things that I loved seeing the most was that, it was frustrating, but also I loved seeing it was that, when things didn't go according to plan at grandma and grandpas, when nap schedules were all skewed or donuts were for dinner. And, I remember one time when my older son was one or two, they gave him like chili cheese fries for the first time. I'm like, ‘He ate those?’ And he did, and he'd never done it for us. But the way that they were able to help the boys find the excitement and the unpredictability, find to embrace the change of something completely different than being with mom and dad and to find joy and love and excitement in that. That was really special to me, and to them, and that was a lot of the core relationship between grandkids and grandparents that I wanted to try and capture in the robot book because it was something that has always made our boys feel safe and loved and has helped them to grow in a lot of ways.

Love that. Thank you so much for sharing. I wasn't fortunate to be around my grandparents, but I do recognize the role of grandparents in a life. And I actually adopted two grandmothers because I didn't have my own. My mom's mom passed when I was very young. I never got to meet her. And then my dad's mom, I met her one time because my grandparents lived in Jamaica. I was raised in England. So there was not the opportunity to have that relationship. And of course there was an internet and WhatsApp and all of that kind of stuff when I was growing up. So I'm just aging myself here now. Anyhow, so, but I definitely felt the need to have that generation relationship with someone that was a generation away from me. And so I really cherished the time that I had my two grandmas, even though they were, I call them adopted grandmas, but it certainly was a safe place for me. And I was an adult at this point. I wasn't even a child. I was an adult at this point, but it just meant so much to me to have that relationship because I felt like I was missing something. So your boys are very blessed to have both of their sets of grandparents around. And I love that you've highlighted grandmothers, grandparents in your book because they do have a very special and very unique role as children grow. So, thank you so much.

Of course. Yeah, I actually, I dedicated the book to my mother and to my mother-in-law as well. I think they're pretty happy.

(Both Laughing)

 I think they were excited. They just, but they just like being with the boys. 

Oh, right. Oh, lovely, lovely. Do you have anything you'd like to share with our audience?

I would like to share with everyone like kind of what the crux of why I was writing this series is that I wanted to express, it takes a village. There's no shame in reaching out for help from wherever you need it because I have never met a parent, a caretaker who is able to do everything and have all the answers solely on their own. And that's not to say that people who are like, you know, single parents or doing most things alone are not capable of doing it. It's really more just that you need a community around you to help with bringing out the best in these little people as they're growing up. It's hard, of course, they're gonna look to whoever their primary caretaker is for that strength and security, but the primary caretaker needs strength and security too. So that was a hard lesson for me when we started, when we first had my older son, because even though we had a lot of family and, we had a lot of support, it was very easy to feel alone as a new mom. Feel like you're doing everything wrong. Feel like you're getting it wrong, that you're gonna mess things up. And, one of the best pieces of advice that I got when I was like, you know, speaking to someone, a trusted advisor who I was sharing these feelings with, they're like, you're not alone. And as long as you're not alone, you will be okay. And that helped, it really helps to hear that. And so I like to share that wherever possible with readers, but just parents in general.

Yes, thank you so much, thank you. All right, so audience, I want to remind you to go to the show notes to get the link for Meredith's book and please check out the whole series. And, also I just want to remind you audience to Live with Intention and Embrace the Journey.