Building Routines for Stability and Success in 2025 with your host Valerie

Building Routines for Stability and Success in 2025

Episode Summary:
Welcome to the first episode of 2025! 

Get ready to shape your day with intention and embrace the power of small, consistent habits!

What You’ll Learn:

- Why Routines Matter:

• How routines help us move from a reactive to a proactive mindset.
• The mental health benefits of consistent habits, backed by research from Harvard and insights from the book Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength.

- Crafting a Proactive Morning Routine:
Key elements to include, such as:

• Guarding your first moments of the day.
• Movement, reflection, gratitude, and planning.
• Incorporating breathing exercises, hydration, affirmations, and intention setting.
• Practical examples like the SNAP framework (Stop, Notice, Assess, Pivot) and the importance of documenting daily wins.

- Creating an Evening Routine:

• Tips for winding down, reflecting on the day, and preparing for tomorrow.
• Strategies like habit stacking (from Atomic Habits by James Clear) and reducing mental clutter before bedtime.

- Personal Reflections and Stories:

• How my morning routine helped shift my mood and perspective after a frustrating moment.
• Practical steps I take to balance being a planner while maintaining calm before bed.

- Practical Tips for Success:

• Start small and focus on one or two new habits at a time.
• Stay flexible and adjust routines as life evolves.
• Seek accountability by sharing your routine goals with someone you trust.

Key Takeaways:

• Routines are the rails that keep your train on track, ensuring you move toward your goals with stability and focus.
• Start your day proactively and end it with intentional reflection to set yourself up for success.
• Flexibility is essential - routines should serve you, not stress you out!
• Celebrate small wins and focus on one new habit to implement this week.

Your Challenge for the Week:
Choose one new routine element to try this week. Pick one and give it a go!

Live with Intention. Embrace the Journey.

Let’s Connect: Valerie's Links: https://bit.ly/3RL0da2
I’d love to hear about your routines! 

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk


Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

https://a.co/d/03hFdZI4 (United States)

Here's a community for special needs moms to share, uplift and learn from each other...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedsmomscircleofstrength

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Transcript

Hey, welcome friends. As we step into a new year, I'm excited to share how routines can create a sense of stability and success in our lives. Routines are like the foundation of a house. Solid, dependable, and crucial for supporting everything else.

I just want to welcome you to the first episode of 2025. So glad you're here.

Today I'll be talking about why routines matter, how to build an effective morning and evening routine, and I'll share some practical tips to help you stick with them. Plus I'll include some insights from experts and research along with some personal reflections.

So now, before you roll your eyes, I really want you to listen, and I really want you to listen with an open mind. And I want you to think about one thing that you can take away from this episode.

So let's do this.

Why routines matter. Have you ever felt like you're always playing defense, reacting to whatever the day throws at you? Routines give us a chance to play offense, taking control of our time and energy.

A saying comes to mind that I heard a lot when I was growing up. Don't knock it till you try it. So I'm extending that invitation to you. 

It shows that routines reduce decision fatigue. Now we're making decisions all the time, all the time.

So this allows us to free up mental energy for the things that really matter most once we have a routine. And this is Baumeister and Tierney. And that's from ‘Willpower, Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength’.

Routines are also great for our mental health. Studies from Harvard highlight how consistent habits can reduce stress and anxiety.

Notice I said the word consistent.

So the other day I went to bed frustrated regarding the guitar tuner. I had bought my husband a guitar tuner for Christmas because I had broke his other one.

So, morning routine of reflection, spiritual time and movement shifted my emotion. Lo and behold, later that next day, the tuner showed up. 

Lesson learned: I cannot function well and create a positive impact when I'm angry and absorbed in negativity. I have to be intentional about my mood and my attitude being positive, if I want to receive the blessings of the day.

So, I want you to think of routines as the rails that guard a train, keeping it on track and ensuring that it reaches its destination smoothly.

So, building a morning routine. Let's talk about how we craft a proactive morning routine, one that sets you up for success instead of letting the day dictate your mood.

So, I spent some time listening to some people who actually have a consistent habit of a morning routine. These are successful people and they've shared that this practice is a contributing factor to their success. Now I don't mean success monetarily. I also mean navigating life successes. So before we jump into their recommendations, please consider this little exercise that I am going to encourage you to do.

Think back to how you entered the day yesterday and today. Did you enter with joy, with gratitude, with peacefulness? Or were you frustrated, tired, regretful?

Notice what it is that you do as you wake. What's the first thing that you do when you wake up? And then notice what activities do you engage in before you're actually dealing with the children, going to the JOB, or working your business. I would love for you to track this over the next couple of days, just to see what's actually going on in your world.

For some time now, I've had a semblance of a morning routine. But what I didn't factor in was that it would have to change as circumstances in my life changed. This means that I'm in the process of redefining my morning routine. Hence the topic for this week's episode.

So, what are some of the core elements of a morning routine?

Now Dean Graziosi says, "Don't let your phone dictate your day." Starting your day by checking your phone can feel like you're opening Pandora's box. Emails, notifications, and stress just pouring out.

Instead, I want you to consider guarding those first moments of your day, guarding them for yourself.

Number two, movement. Movement wakes up your body and your brain. Even a five-minute stretch can make a difference.

Number three, reflect on yesterday. Ponder one thing that you did well. Celebrating small wins boosts your confidence and it sets a positive tone. We all need a pat on the back. And often we're racing through our days and we don't take in those wins. We don't internalize them. And so therefore it's like we've never really acknowledged them.

Number four, gratitude. Pause and find at least one thing. There's got to be at least one thing that you're grateful for. Research by Robert Emmons shows that gratitude enhances emotional well-being.

Number five, plan for the day. Ask yourself, "What would I like to accomplish today?" This will help us to plan.

Number six, breathing exercises. Calm your mind and reset your nervous system and we can do this by different methods of breathing.

So, the one that I'm thinking of right now is box breathing, where we inhale for four seconds, we hold it for four seconds, then we exhale for four seconds and we hold that for four seconds. And this is Cleveland Clinic that endorses this.

Number seven, hydrate with a green drink. Think of it as fueling your body for the journey ahead. So a green drink, you can have green vegetables in there. You can put green fruits in there and blend it all up. So I usually put a banana in with spinach. Some people put avocado, but you know what? I like my avocado on rice cakes, just saying. But you can put whatever green elements you want into your drink and just make sure that you're fueling your body. And as I said, fueling for the journey ahead because every day is a journey.

Number eight, affirmations. Use I AM statements to set the tone for the day. And this was David Nurse that I got this from. These are some more things that he talks about. 

Number nine. He uses a SNAP framework. And what that stands for is, be ready to S: stop, N: notice, A: assess, and P: pivot. So when you're going through your day, be mindful that you might need to stop. Well, you likely will need to stop. Notice what's going on, assess the situation, and pivot as needed. We should never be surprised when challenges arise because we already know that they will.

Number ten, encouragement texts. Send three positive messages to brighten someone's day. Connection is so important. And how does it make you feel when someone reaches out to you? Amazing, right? So go give that gift.

Number eleven, service hands. Offer up your hands to serve. This helps remind you of what your purpose is. And right now, your purpose may well be to serve and to care for your family.

Number 12, daily wins. Document successes to reinforce positive behaviors. This is Charles Duhigg, ‘The power of habit”. This is also important as we then get to reinforce and acknowledge progress as it happens.

Number 13, self-love. High five yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. This is Mel Robbins. We have her to thank for this. When we can love ourselves, we can then allow others to love us.

Number 14, contemplate. Ask yourself, why not me? This allows you to build confidence to be in an attitude of receiving the good things that are meant to come your way. 

Number 15, intention setting. This is Brendan Bouchard. He talks about five A's. 

Number one, aim. Write your vision for the day. This goes back to what I was saying earlier, asking yourself, what do you want to accomplish today? So write it down. Write down your vision for the day.

Number two, attention. Focus on priorities. Oh, how easy it is to become distracted. Keep your end goal in sight and continually ask yourself, what is needed right now to get me to where I want to be?

Attitude number three. Start to step into joy. I'm sure you have experienced a miserable person entering a room and totally changing the mood in the room to being more negative.

Don't be that person. Choose joy. Notice I said the word choose. Joy is a choice.

Number four. Authenticity and affection. You've heard it said, you do you boo. There is only one you and the world needs you as you are authentically meant to be. Also be mindful that love garners more positive responses. So don't be afraid to show love.

And number five, actions. Plan steps to move the needle forward.

So, what does that mean? Outcome focused. These actions are directly linked to achieving key objectives. They aren't just busy work. And most of us are good at that. These are targeted efforts that bring measurable results.

Efficiency and effectiveness. It's about being efficient in execution and ensuring that each action is effective. This means optimizing your approach to maximize impact.

So, for me, setting intention is huge.

What have I learned over time? I've learned that I don't need to have six intentions for the day. I'm a high achiever and I have had to come to the place where I've had to accept that I also need to balance that with moving purposely through my day, not racing to get as much done as I can.

So, writing the vision is a newish practice for me. It does help me to focus. It helps me to prioritize and it helps me create actions for the day that are targeted.

I want you to think about a morning routine being like setting the GPS for your day. It gives you direction and it helps you avoid detours.

Evening routines and reflection. This might not be something that you do a lot of. And this is something again that's fairly new for me. 

Evening routine tips. Listen up. Reflect on the wins and the lessons. What went well? What could be improved?

We talked about this a lot. Practice gratitude. Note three good things from your day. There's got to be at least one, but shoot for three.

Prepare for tomorrow. Lay out your clothes, plan meals, review your schedule. These are all things that I do because when I'm getting up in the morning, the less things I have to think about, the easier and more smoother my morning goes. And at the end of the day, I want you to really get focused in on winding down.

So, activities you could do to wind down could be reading, meditation, or a warm bath. All of this will signal your brain that it's time to relax.

I had the privilege of writing a book, The Shine Principle, The Special Needs Mom's Path to Strength, Hope, and Happiness. And I also had the opportunity to collaborate with some other ladies who shared their thoughts on how we can be our best selves.

The acronym SHINE stands for S: Say Yes to Self. This means that it can be about you. H: Having a relationship with a higher power. I: Inspiration. And this is where what we're talking about today comes in. You want to be an inspiration to someone. And to be an inspiration, you have to be your best self and set yourself up for success. And one of the ways to do that is to create routines. N: is for nutrition and E: is for exercise.

As part of my evening ritual, I like dimming the lights. This helps me to transition to rest. It signals to my brain that it's time to quieten down.

I'm a planner and my brain can quite easily go into overdrive on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Like don't forget to take the casserole out of the freezer. You need to remind the youngest that we have to leave earlier tomorrow. Remind Scott that he has a dentist appointment tomorrow and that his meds are ready for pickup. Don't forget to leave yourself a note to talk to the Eden house coordinator that you will be looking into a laptop backpack for the eldest’s communication device. 

I haven't even got the toothbrush to my mouth yet.

So, dimming the lights in my bedroom and my bathroom reminds me to tell my brain to quieten down and that I'm preparing for sleep.

Think of an evening routine as the closing chapter of a book. It wraps up the day's story and it sets up for the next.

So here are some tips.

I want you to start small, focus on one or two habits at a time.

And that advice comes from James Clear, ‘Atomic habits by habit stacking”. Attach new habits to existing ones to make them stick.

This is one of the tips that I encourage my clients to try. I also suggest attaching the new habit to an everyday activity. For example, incorporate exercise before or after a meal. So, you can choose whether it be breakfast, whether it be lunch, whether it be supper.

Be flexible. Remember routines are tools. They should serve you, not stress you out.

Accountability, we all need it. So, share your routine with a friend or your partner for encouragement.

Building a routine is like planting a garden. Small seeds of effort grow into something beautiful over time.

So, our key takeaways.

Start your day proactively with intentional routines. I want you to wind down in the evening to set yourself up for success for the next day.

Celebrate small wins and stay flexible. Routines will have to be tweaked depending on life's circumstances and situations.

I want to challenge you. Choose one new routine element to try this week. Just implement one.

Thank you so much for listening today. I appreciate you being here and I would love for you to share your routines on social media with me or you can email me. Remember you have the power to shape your day and by doing so you shape your life.

If you've got something from this episode I would encourage you to share with another mom or someone else who you feel could actually benefit from creating some new habits including a morning and an evening routine. 

Live with Intention - Embrace the Journey.