The Abundant Practitioner Podcast By Dr Tilean

Ep 53: Breaking Free from Imposter Syndrome and Upper Limits: A Journey to Self-Confidence and Authentic Success

• Dr Tilean • Season 1 • Episode 53

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Ever felt like you're living someone else's dream, or questioned your own achievements? Join Dr. Tilean as we tackle these common feelings and explore ways to overcome imposter syndrome. Inspired by Gay Hendricks' concept of the "upper limit" from "The Big Leap," we break down how internal thresholds can stifle our joy, success, and potential. Through personal anecdotes and real-life client experiences, discover how recognising and pushing beyond these self-imposed limits can lead to greater self-love, confidence, and alignment with your true purpose.

Navigate the tricky terrain of career transitions and entrepreneurship with insights from Dr. Tilean's journey, including her transformative stint working on international healthcare events in Barbados. Uncover the hidden value in seemingly off-course experiences and learn how persistence and bold action can guide you toward clarity and fulfillment. Embrace the notion that growth comes through action, even if it feels daunting at first. This episode is a must-listen for practitioners ready to break free from traditional methods and embark on their own path to creating transformational coaching businesses.

Thank you for joining me today on The Abundant Practitioner Podcast. I’m so glad you carved out this time for yourself because you 100% deserve soul-nourishing and soul-aligned success!

If you’re keen to dive deeper into my world, here are my socials where you can learn more about how I specifically help Health & Wellbeing practitioners start and scale their own soul-aligned and profitable coaching business. As a fellow practitioner who has been operating in the online coaching world since 2015, I’m excited to help you successfully navigate it too. You can also reach out to me on these platforms, if you have any questions!

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Thanks again for tuning in, and I'll see you next time on The Abundant Practitioner Podcast!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to our podcast designed for psychologists, therapists and counsellors who want to take their business online and live a soul, nourished and profitable life without compromise. If you want to know the secrets used by practitioners just like you to navigate the global e-learning market successfully, then you're in the right place. I'm Dr Talib, chartered Psychologist, business Mentor and your host, and welcome to the Abundant Practitioner Podcast. The imposter syndrome right. And about transforming your confidence, especially as you move from traditional ways of your way of working into creating your own transformational coaching business right. Like I mentioned, these are normal feelings as you go to another level. So anytime you're going to take yourself above the thermostat you've already created for yourself, and a book that I love and absolutely recommend is one called the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. If you haven't read it before, I'd encourage you to just absolutely go out, dive there out and get it right. You can get it on Audible, you can go and get the physical copy, but I think it's a great book that really talks about this upper limit that every single one of us have created a thermostat within us in terms of how much joy you can receive, how much level of success, how much finances, how much love, right, how much? Whatever, right that you're going to receive. You've got a thermostat that is internal within you that, once you start to get to this level that you're used to, you'll start to feel an upper limit. It's like you're trembling as you're going towards another level. Right, it's like who am I to do this? Who am I to go up there? Can I go up there? Will I survive up there? Right, I've never been up there before. Yeah, and so it's about recognizing that, as you are going to do something you've not done before, shift yourself to a new financial level, do something in new ways, you are going to have that feeling and it's about recognizing and being attuned to that and not using that as a sign to say, oh, I shouldn't be doing that. Anyway, let me stay on my level, Let me stay in my place, let me stay where I am.

Speaker 1:

It's about really recognizing that, as you are pressing forward to do greater, be greater, have more and all of this stuff, right that you're going to press through this upper limit. And as you press through into this upper limit, those negative thoughts and feelings can come up. Right, other things can happen. Things can happen in terms of um, you start to feel a little bit tired or feel ill, right, you, all of a sudden, this cold's come on. You've just done something great and you're like, ah, you know, now I don't feel the greatest. You've gone to the level. Ramp up that self-love, right, readjust yourself on that level and remind yourself it's safe, it's safe to receive more, it's safe to be on this next level, it's safe to do something new. It's safe for me to be here, right. And as you really adjust your nervous system to recognizing that actually, as I expand, it's okay, right, you'll adjust your thermostat to rise higher and higher and higher and higher, right.

Speaker 1:

And so I think that's really important to just understand is that, as you press forward to do new in your life, to to embark on a new journey, right, there will be all these thoughts and feelings and fears and and, and even like situational things that happen, right, situational things that will happen to say, yeah, who are you to do this? Yeah, definitely not the right time. Yeah, right, oh, I, I don't know what I think about that. Didn't you train as being a therapist? What you doing now? Right, all of these things will come up. Yeah, because you were striking out to go greater Right, and it's about being able to catch that, identify it Right and rewrite the narrative of what your new truth is. Yeah, your new truth, your truth, can always change and evolve and it's being okay with that. And so this is one of the things I wanted to address, especially when you're thinking about the fact that you have potentially studied for years to become the practitioner that you became or you are today.

Speaker 1:

Right, you have invested lots into becoming a practitioner, and not just even financially. Right, there's a financial cost, whether you cover the cost or whether loans cover the cost or somebody else cover the cost in terms of a scholarship or whatever. Right, there was a cost involved in you becoming a practitioner Right, but there's not just the financial cost. There was an energetic cost right, there was the practical cost right. You know I'm sure those of you that have gone on that study and academic journey, you've had that late night maybe in the library or up late, you know doing the thing. Right, you really poured into becoming who you are as the practitioner and getting that qualification or qualifications, right, that accreditation, the licensing, all that came with that, right. And so now you have it.

Speaker 1:

And then now you're faced a crossroad in your life where you're like road in your life where you're like yeah, you know, god's called me to do something differently or to really live out my life and my career in a new way. Or, you know, I'm really feeling like my purpose has evolved into something differently. Maybe life has presented you with certain circumstances, situations that you've navigated through, right You've been navigating through, and now you're really a space where you're like do you know what? I want to reach back and help those that are at the start of that. I want to help them navigate through that.

Speaker 1:

And maybe there's now some separation in terms of you understanding, of like, oh, wow, I've always worked with this client group, or I've always worked in this particular way, and now I'm being called forward, like strongly within my soul, I feel like I want to work in new ways. Right, I want to go to another direction or another level, or I want to take this to another place. And then there's these feelings of wow, like, shouldn't you just be grateful for where you are at right, or what you have right? That could be one thing, or like is this true? Is this reality? And so it's about being okay to recognize and be like, okay, like there's been all that drive to get where you got right and now you're able to see another step and that's just the way God works, right, that's just the way life works.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean, depending on kind of how you guys think right, but like the whole vision is not necessarily going to be mapped out to you at the start, but as you start moving forward you'll become even more and more and more clearer. Yeah, and, like you know, we've got somebody new in the academy and she was saying yesterday, like you know, just so thankful for the, the space, um, because you know she had got to the end of her qualification stage and could really see this like business that she wants to create and was just like, wow, like who am I to do this at this stage of my career, you know, but I really see that this is what I'm being called to do now and like, so having this conversation was a real fruitful conversation that I wanted to bring here today and also in combined with someone bringing it up that attends the round tables. Yeah, so, just really on that kind of know is then, in terms of that, this imposter syndrome? It's not like like let's just kind of get ready, get rid of this, right. It's about how do we invite these thoughts and feelings, acknowledge them and just be like, okay, you need to stay here right now. Right, and this is my next, my new level of truth, yeah, and so, yeah, I think that's really important to recognize, right. It's about not like fighting against your own self or fighting against these feelings or thoughts. It's about acknowledging it and being like I see you, I hear you, right, but that's not my truth of where I'm going right now, because there's always an alternative truth.

Speaker 1:

Often one of the exercises we did a whole exercise yesterday, um, that we won't have time to do here today, but kind of, just to kind of shorten, it is like we really went into the depths of understanding, like what are the potential negative, um, limiting beliefs, or those thoughts or feelings, that, uh, or behavior patterns that are coming up, that are sabotaging your ability to journey forward? And, and looking at as well, where could those stemmed from? Whose voices are they, if anyone, if you can identify, or where have they come from? Right, and what's the alternative way of thinking about each particular thing? Right, and what are then you going to decide is your truth? So I share that kind of just you know, in a nutshell, for you to be able to utilize that as a journaling activity, from listening to this today, as to anything that might be coming up in your way, as to, like you know, there's a limiting belief or a limiting thought or a limited action.

Speaker 1:

Right, where does that stem from? If you can even identify that right and sometimes we're not even clear but if you can like just get in some acknowledgement, non-judgmentally, right. This is not like looking at it and then, you know, going into whole judgment and calling people up and saying hey, hey, you know you passed down this belief or you don't need to do any of that, but just acknowledge what was going on there and then decide what is an alternative way of thinking about this, what could an alternative truth be? Right? And then what truth are you going to decide for yourself? Right, and then what truth are you going to decide for yourself? Ok, because as you journey forward and create your business or scale your business to where you want it to go next, you have to identify and understand that you are totally capable of doing this Right, even if those skills still need to be developed, it's within you to be able to develop them and move forward and do that, yeah, and already that, wherever you are right now, you've got a lot of transferable skills that are going to really help you elevate your journey forward, right.

Speaker 1:

As a therapist, if you're moving from therapy under the coaching umbrella, there's loads of skills that you've gained there, loads of skills. And if you've got the right support, you're also able to set up your business in a way where you can still keep your therapy license and traditional ways of working, if that's what you want to do, right and so. But it's about just taking a level of appreciation of what you do have and how you're going to move forward and why you're going to move forward in a new way and do things differently, because you get to really move forward in life in a way that is soul aligned, is soul nourishing Right, and it works for you and you feel fulfilled, right. And you know one of the things that they were talking about yesterday, that they were talking about, um, yesterday someone was saying you know, I just I sometimes feel this level of guilt, in a sense, that the business that I've created whilst being in the academy I just love, right, I just it's just easy and effortless, like when I'm there, like I just love being in it, and and there's that sense of like isn't work supposed to be? Like grit and hard work and underpaid and all of this stuff. And it was like this, these feelings that were kind of caught up as a narrative, as a story, you know, and it really gave hope to that new person coming into the academy who was like wow, right. Coming into the academy, who was like wow, right, you just hit the nail on my on the head, because I've always viewed that work has got to just be really, really hard and I'm hoping that it doesn't always have to be this way. And to be able to see you ahead saying these things gives me hope of like, wow, yeah, I'm in the right place, I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing right now, because that's what I want from my life, right, and you get to have that. But it's about deciding that you're going to create a new narrative, a new story for you, right, and you know. And it's also about deciding and leaning into what is your next, what is your next? Right? People are shifted to do things differently all sorts of times in their lives, right, it's not just you. You know like I think about my journey through life.

Speaker 1:

I decided I wanted to be a psychologist very early on, right, I was young, right, I was, like you know, around 12, 13 mark when I decided I wanted to be a psychologist. So it was a very early passion of mine and I went steaming forward. You know like, yeah, and I did peer counsellor at school and I went on and I did psychology within college and then I did psychology degree undergraduate college and then I did psychology degree undergraduate and then I did psychology masters and I was like I just want to eat up psychology, I just want to be a psychologist. Right, that's all I can see. You know, like I literally stuck a job of psychologist on my wardrobe from a young, young age. Right, I was like that's where I'm heading, you know, I just want to help people. And that when I first said it at a young age, I was like I want to help people and make lots of money. I didn't even know.

Speaker 1:

Like you know, actually becoming a psychologist in the traditional way is not necessarily an easy, straightforward path or even going to lead that way, right? Um, and so along the journey it still it really started to come up of like, wow, this is a long journey, right, you've got to do certain degrees under certain accreditations and work experience alongside that and all of this stuff, right, and I was like, wow, this is a hard journey, to the point where I was like I don't know if this journey is, like, really what I want anymore. You know, like my friends around me at university were off doing other things and I'm here like I'm still going, right, I'm going to get to become this psychologist, right, it was a real tough journey and but there was a pivot in that that I didn't understand at that moment. And that pivot in that was when I there was a moment when I said I'm stopping this right, my decision to become a psychologist and do what I want to do as a psychologist. I don't want that anymore. Right now, I just want to, like, sit on a beach, enjoy life and whatever way that's gonna happen, let's do this.

Speaker 1:

And so I got a job, actually, um, in Barbados, doing international events for healthcare, and I was traveling. I was living what most people would call the dream life and I was doing that, right, and I was out there and I was traveling here, five-star hotels here and all of this stuff, you know, and it gave me a glimpse into the business world, because I was working with this guy who was an entrepreneur and was putting up like amazing company and I was like, wow, like there's a world beyond what I've been focusing on, right, and this is where I'm sitting. Within it and, as I was in that space, the still the internal desire of like, wow, talene, you're being called to help people. Help people, the psychology, the psychology. That's when I left Barbados and I was like I need to finish what I'd started and become the psychologist and really like, see where it's taken me, because that vision wasn't planted in me for no reason, right, but what I say, that is like that.

Speaker 1:

Three years in Barbados and that stint around doing events and business and marketing and sales, right, and understanding all of that stuff. God took me there to to understand certain things that I needed later, right, right. And so like, just be okay with your journey. If it is twisting and turning and moving and feeling challenging, the challenge can be often as well, giving you something that you need later, sometimes, right. So that's what I want to say in terms of like, allow yourself to make your path look really colorful if it needs to be right, um, but that you are being aligned, yeah, that you are aligned right and that your decisions, that you're making, how you're showing up in your day-to-day is one that aligns with what your sense of your vision is right now. That aligns with what your sense of your vision is right now. And I say that what your sense of your vision is right now is because your vision will always be evolving, right?

Speaker 1:

One of our clients was talking about how, when she started with us in the academy, she had no idea, like. She was like Talena, I've got like two different ideas, right, okay, maybe she didn't have no idea, she had two different ideas. She was like, okay, I could do this or I could do this. I'm not really sure, um, I don't really know. And I took her through this exercise. We got clear on, okay, where you're being, where's your path leading, and she started that. And now, when she talks about, like, her business and all the different elements of her business and and how it's grown, right, you know, and literally she was the one that brought the question in of like God has just given me and given me and given me right and because I stuck in. I stuck in even when I wasn't even sure. Like I jumped in, I just left my job, right, I just left my job. I didn't have no job, I just left my job.

Speaker 1:

I jumped in this academy with like okay, I could do this, I could do this. Like let's just get started and hope for the best and like, as I'm going forward, like I just seen more vision, more vision, right, and I'm receiving and I'm helping clients and I'm more clients, and this just all feels just surreal. Can we talk about this? And that's where that conversation stemmed from. So you know, like I wanted to touch on this and I do want to have a conversation here from you guys about what comes up for you as I speak of this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because it is um important to just be able to capture where your, what thoughts and feelings come up along the journey and recognizing that how you handle them and how you allow yourself to make decisions from that is really important and it's about making decisions from a place of real like it will channel your faith right.

Speaker 1:

So much in terms of like, wow, I've got to have a faith-filled vision. You know what I mean. I've got to really like, lean into really what I can see and what I'm being blessed with seeing right now is enough, you know, and I've got to just honor that and step boldly forward. And as you step boldly forward, it doesn't mean that you're not going to step forward scared. You probably are going to step forward like nervous, scared, oh my gosh. But it's going to be filled with feelings and it should be filled with feelings of excitement and possibility and change as well.

Speaker 1:

You know, and if you just remember as well that often, like if you breathe through the process of change and you remind yourself, to remind yourself, I'm safe, right, I'm loved. Right, I'm directed, it's all good, I'm safe here. I'm safe here, it's all good, I'm safe here. I'm safe here, all right, it's safe to go up levels, it's safe to receive more, it's safe to just be expanding, you allow yourself to really elevate to where you need to go. So that's what I want to say about imposter syndrome and confidence as you transition from where you are right now, whether that is in traditional therapy or in a workplace or your business at a certain level, right, maybe you're in business, but your business is at a certain level and you know it's time to take your business to the next level.

Speaker 1:

Right, there's going to be a level of these thoughts and feelings that creep up. I call them the weeds in your mental garden, and you've got to pluck them out and cultivate, that guardian, and allow yourself to rise, allow yourself to really just shine forward and do the work that you've been gifted to do, because you can do it. And you can do it scared, and you can do it unskilled, like in the sense of like not knowing all the things, because you're going to learn all the things, because you're that type of person as you grow and develop. But you must take action and move forward, and that's the only way you could shift and develop. Confidence is through action, and develop confidence is through action. Right, you're not going to learn about swimming by just reading a book on swimming. Right, you've got to get in the water and kind of start doing the thing. Right, flapping your hands, kicking your feet, not making much sense, and eventually you will get it right. Okay,