Things Leaders Do

Leadership Conversations Simplified: The Power of Wearing the Right Hat

• Colby Morris • Season 1 • Episode 62

Share episode

"Leadership Conversations Simplified: The Power of Wearing the Right Hat"

Episode Summary:
As a leader, every conversation requires a different tone, approach, and mindset. That’s why in this week’s episode of Things Leaders Do, Colby Morris dives into the concept of wearing different hats in leadership. Whether you’re a mentor, a leader, or just a friend, knowing which role to play—and when—can make all the difference in building trust and fostering productive conversations.

Colby shares his strategy of asking a simple but powerful question before any important conversation:
"What hat do you need me to wear?"

This episode explores how this practice creates clarity, sets expectations, and transforms leadership relationships. With real-life examples, actionable tips, and a touch of humor, you’ll walk away with practical ways to strengthen your communication as a leader.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • The three hats every leader needs to wear: mentor, leader, and friend.
  • Why asking for clarity at the start of a conversation changes the tone and frame of mind for everyone involved.
  • How to align your leadership style with the needs of your team in any given moment.
  • Actionable strategies for applying this approach in your day-to-day leadership.

Key Takeaways:
1️⃣ The Mentor Hat: Provide guidance and perspective by asking the right questions, not giving all the answers.
2️⃣ The Leader Hat: Be decisive, set expectations, and hold people accountable with empathy.
3️⃣ The Friend Hat: Create psychological safety by listening without judgment or solutions.

Memorable Quotes:

  • "Leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. Sometimes, you’re the guide. Sometimes, you’re the boss. And sometimes, you’re just the human who listens."
  • "Clarity is the secret weapon of leadership—it creates trust and builds momentum."
  • "The next time someone comes to you, ask them: ‘What hat do you need me to wear?’ It’s a small question that makes a big impact."

Action Steps for Leaders:

  1. Start every important conversation by asking, “What hat do you need me to wear?”
  2. Reflect on whether you showed up in the way your team member needed.
  3. Practice shifting between hats intentionally to create stronger connections with your team.

🎧 Tune in now to learn how to lead with clarity, purpose, and a whole lot of impact.

Connect with Colby:
If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe to Things Leaders Do on your favorite podcast platform. Share it with another leader who could benefit from learning about the power of clarity in conversations.

💬 Let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with Colby Morris on LinkedIn to share your leadership stories, questions, and feedback.

#Leadership #Communication #ClarityInLeadership #ThingsLeadersDo #LeadershipPodcast #ColbyMorris


Speaker 1:

Welcome to Things Leaders Do, the podcast that uncovers the secrets of becoming an extraordinary leader. If you're a leader who's constantly seeking growth, inspiration and tangible ways to level up your leadership, then you've come to the right place. Remember, the world needs exceptional leaders, and that leader is you. Now here's your host, colby Morris is you Now.

Speaker 2:

Here's your host, colby Morris. Hello leaders, and welcome to the TLD podcast. I'm your host, colby Morris, and if you've been here for a while, you know that I've worn every hat in leadership, from the rookie manager hat to the executive leader hat. I've even worn the what in the world am I doing? Hat more than I care to admit. But here's the thing Leadership isn't one size fits all. Every conversation requires a different approach, a different tone, a different hat. That's why we're talking about that today how to figure out which hat you need to wear in any given moment, why it matters and how it can transform your leadership relationships.

Speaker 2:

My goal, as always, is to give you actionable tools and strategies that you can use today, today to become a better leader, and this podcast should come out probably the day before Thanksgiving. So let me hopefully be the first to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. I am very thankful for all of you who listened, and it means the world to me that you invest some of your time, hopefully on the way to work, on the way home from work, wherever it is. I appreciate you. So let's dive in at first. Let's start with the basics. As a leader, you're not just one person to your team. Sometimes you're their mentor, sometimes you're their boss and sometimes you're just their sounding board, the person they trust, and that you're going to listen to them without judgment. That's why I found it incredibly helpful to ask this simple question before jumping into any conversation what hat do you want me to wear? Such a small question, but it has a massive impact. It sets the tone for the conversation and gives both of us that clear frame of mind going into it. And, let's be honest, without clarity, conversations can go off the rails fast. Have you ever walked into a meeting thinking it was going to be a casual brainstorming, only to find out it was actually a performance review? Yeah, that's not fun. Here's what I've learned when you know what role you're supposed to play and the other person knows what to expect, magic happens. It creates a sense of psychological safety, it reduces miscommunication and it helps you show up in a way that's most helpful in that particular role.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to start off with the mentor hat. The mentor hat is all about guidance. Okay, that's that's when somebody comes to you because they need a decision or a directive, but because they want perspective? Okay, maybe they're. They're stuck on a problem, trying to figure out their next career move or just looking for advice on how to handle a tricky situation. When I put on the mentor hat, I shift into listening mode. I'm not. I'm not here to tell them what to do. I'm here to help them think it through. A lot of times I'll ask questions like you know what have you already tried? What's your gut telling you, or what would success look like in this situation? The key here is to guide, not decide. It's about helping them find their own solution, not just handing them mine. I once had a team member come to me because they were struggling to lead a meeting with their peers. They felt like no one was taking them seriously. Instead of jumping in with advice, I just asked what do you think is causing that dynamic? We walked through their approach and by the end of the conversation, they realized it wasn't about the content of the meeting. It was about their confidence in delivering it. All I did was ask what, apparently, was the right questions, and they walked away with their own solution.

Speaker 2:

The second hat is the leader hat. The leader hat is probably the one we're most familiar with. Okay, this is when someone needs clarity, direction or a decision. They're looking to you to step up and lead. Here's the thing when you're wearing the leader hat, you can't waffle. Okay, you have to be decisive, you have to be confident, even if the decision isn't easy. The hat is about setting expectations, holding people accountable, making sure everyone is aligned with the goals of the organization, but and this is important you still need to communicate with empathy. Okay, being decisive doesn't mean being a dictator or a jerk.

Speaker 2:

I had a situation where a team member was constantly missing deadlines. When we sat down, I said hey, I'm putting my leader hat on here because we need to address this head on. Let's talk about what's going on and how we can fix it by framing it that way. They knew this wasn't just a casual chat. It was about accountability, but because I approached it with empathy, it didn't feel like an attack. It felt like a partnership.

Speaker 2:

Finally, there's the friend hat, or, as I like to call it, the just you and me hat. This is when someone doesn't need advice, they don't really need direction. They just need you to be human, they need you to listen. Let them vent without trying to fix it. I'll be honest, this can often be the hardest hat for me to wear because, as a leader, I'm wired to solve problems. You probably are too, but sometimes people don't want a solution, they just want to be heard, and when you can give them that space, it builds trust in ways that no amount of mentoring or leading really ever could.

Speaker 2:

One time a team member came into my office, literally upset, I started to ask how can I help? One time a team member came into my office, clearly upset, I started to ask how can I help. But they stopped me and said I don't need help, I just need to talk. So I put on the just you and me hat, sat back and just listened. No advice, no solutions. At the end they said thank you, I feel a lot better. Sometimes being present is all it takes.

Speaker 2:

So why does this approach work? Well, because it provides clarity. When both people know the tone and purpose of the conversation, it eliminates confusion and sets the stage for productive dialogue. It also helps you, as the leader, show up in the way that's most helpful in that moment. As leaders, we don't have to be all things to all people all the time, have to be all things to all people all the time, but we do need to be clear about the role we're playing in each interaction, and by asking a simple question what hat do you want me to wear? You can create that clarity in an instant. So how do you apply this in your leadership?

Speaker 2:

Here's some practical tips. First, ask the question. Start every conversation by asking what hat do you want me to wear? And look, be sincere with this. You have to couch this the right way. You have to set the right tone. Don't be a jerk, don't be a smart aleck with it. Explain what you mean by the hats. Okay, this may be a totally new concept for your team to hear from you. So you're having to explain the different hats that you're wearing as a leader and how you want to make sure that you're communicating in the right way with the team. So the next time that they come to you, they should know that you're going to ask this question.

Speaker 2:

Number two be intentional. Once you know the hat, commit to it. Don't mix roles. And then, number three reflect. You want to get better at this, right? So, after the conversation, ask yourself did I show up the way they needed me to? This week? I challenge you to try this approach. Well, since you're hearing this, probably around Thanksgiving, I'm going to say next week. I want to challenge you to try this approach. The next time somebody comes to you and asks them what hat they want you to wear, notice how it changes the tone and focus of the conversation, and if it feels a little awkward at first, that's okay. It's going to get easier the more you practice it.

Speaker 2:

Leadership is not about being perfect Okay. It's about being present. It's about knowing what role to play in each moment and showing up with clarity and purpose. So the next time you step into a conversation, don't be afraid to ask what hat do you need me to wear? It's a small question that can make a big difference.

Speaker 2:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with another leader who could use a little more clarity in their conversations, and let's connect on LinkedIn. I've been having some great conversations with all you leaders over there and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the different hats you wear in your leadership. That link is in the show notes, so please connect with me and just say hey, colby, I've been listening to the podcast. I'd reach out and connect. Love having those messages come through. It's a highlight of my day, I can tell you. So please go out there, communicate. Well, okay, ask those questions. What hat do you need me to wear? Again, it's a small question that can make a big difference, and you know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.