Things Leaders Do

Leadership Q&A: Balancing Authority, Leading Under Pressure, and Avoiding Common Leadership Mistakes

• Colby Morris • Season 1 • Episode 64

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"Leadership Q&A: Balancing Authority, Leading Under Pressure, and Avoiding Common Leadership Mistakes"

Podcast Description:

"Struggling to balance being a 'friend' versus being the boss? Finding it hard to stay calm under pressure? In this special Q&A episode of Things Leaders Do, host Colby Morris tackles real leadership questions sent in by listeners just like you. Whether you’re a new leader figuring out your footing or a seasoned leader looking to refine your approach, this episode delivers actionable advice to help you lead with confidence, clarity, and impact.

In this episode, Colby dives into:

  • How to balance relationships and accountability as a new leader
  • Staying calm and effective in high-pressure situations
  • Practical steps to become a people-first leader—even if it’s never been modeled for you
  • The biggest leadership mistake Colby made and the game-changing lesson he learned

With clear strategies, personal insights, and relatable stories, Colby shares tools you can apply immediately to become a stronger, more effective leader.

Don’t miss this episode packed with leadership wisdom and real-world solutions!

👉 Subscribe, rate, and share this episode with another leader who needs it.
🎙️ Connect with Colby on LinkedIn—join the conversation and level up your leadership skills. https://www.linkedin.com/in/colbymorris/

Keywords for SEO:
Leadership advice, new leaders, balancing friend and boss, leading under pressure, people-first leadership, leadership mistakes, leadership Q&A, actionable leadership tips, effective leadership strategies, Colby Morris podcast.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to Things Leaders Do, the podcast that uncovers the secrets of becoming an extraordinary leader. If you're a leader who's constantly seeking growth, inspiration and tangible ways to level up your leadership, then you've come to the right place. Remember, the world needs exceptional leaders, and that leader is you Now. Here's your host, colby Morris. Is you Now? Here's your host, colby Morris.

Speaker 2:

Hello leaders and welcome back to the TLD Podcast. I'm your host, colby Morris. So am I. Well, I'm an experienced leader who's led from literally every position frontline, new manager, middle manager and executive've. I've been there with you and my goal for this podcast is simple to give you actionable tools and processes that you can start using today to become a better leader faster. Now, this week, I'm going to do something a little different, something I've been excited about for a while a Q&A episode. I've talked to listeners for a while and told them to connect with me on LinkedIn if they had any questions about leadership, to let me know, and you all have delivered.

Speaker 2:

I've had a great mix of questions and I'm just going to grab a few today and go through those with you, and there's something for everybody. There's something for new leaders, some experienced leaders and maybe even something about me personally. So sit back, take it in, and I promise there's going to be something here for everyone today. Before we dive into these questions, I want to say this Leadership is a journey, whether you're brand new to leading people or you've been in this game for 20 years. We all have challenges, we all have moments of doubts and things we're trying to figure out, love these questions so much because they remind us that leadership isn't about perfection, it's about learning, it's about growing and showing up as your best self every day. So with that, let's get started with the first question.

Speaker 2:

I'm a brand new leader and I struggle with balancing being a friend versus being a boss. How do you set the right tone without coming off as too harsh or too soft? Well, I can tell you, this is one of the most common struggles for new leaders, because the transition from peer to leader can feel like you're walking a tightrope. Look, being a leader doesn't mean you have to be less human or stop building relationships. In fact, leadership is about relationships. But you need to anchor yourself to the idea that respect comes before likability. Look, let me explain it this way. Early on, I had to learn this the hard way. I remember being so focused on wanting people to like me that I tiptoed around hard conversations. The result performance slipped, everyone was getting frustrated. The morale was in the tank because the team needed me to lead, not just be the friend. So here's how you set the tone.

Speaker 2:

First, you need to be clear about expectations. The very first one-on-one meeting or team discussion is your moment to define the relationship. I want you to say something like hey, I care about each of you and I want to see you succeed. My job is to support you, to challenge you and hold us all to a high standard, because that's how we grow. If you ever feel I'm not doing that, I need you to tell me.

Speaker 2:

And then, number two treat everyone fairly, not equally. Whoa, this sounds messed up. Let me explain. Friends tend to treat friends the same. Leaders, however, understand that fair leadership means knowing what each person needs and responding accordingly. Some people need more guidance okay, while others they need space to prove themselves, okay.

Speaker 2:

Balance doesn't come from rigid sameness, but from actually being adaptable and consistent. Number three I'd say don't fear accountability. Okay, true friends. Call each other out when they're off track, right, if you have something. Number three, I'd say don't fear accountability. True friends. Call each other out when they're off track, right. If you have something in your teeth, I'm going to tell you. If you're being a jerk, I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 2:

So, as a leader, holding someone accountable doesn't make you mean. It makes you honest, and people respect honesty. I found that when you hold someone accountable with care and clarity, you build trust, not resentment. So, to sum it up be relational, but don't sacrifice responsibility. Okay, start with clarity. I want you to be firm but fair and always lead with the best interests of your team in mind. Over time, you're going to realize that you can be respected and liked, but the respect has to come first. All right, question two that was a good one, by the way. Question two In high-pressure situations, I find myself reacting instead of leading.

Speaker 2:

What's your top advice for staying calm and effective under pressure? This came from someone I would say is an experienced leader, so this is a good question. See, pressure has a funny way of shrinking our brains, amplifying our emotions. When the stakes are high, it's easy to default to reaction mode. Okay, snapping at people, you make impulsive decisions or you just get lost in the chaos. But leadership under pressure is about responding, not reacting is about responding, not reacting. Did you hear that Leadership under pressure is about responding, not reacting? And the difference comes down to preparation and perspective.

Speaker 2:

Here's what I've learned. First, control what you can control. When you're in a high-stakes moment, stop and ask yourself what's within my control right now. You can't control the pressure or the problem, but you can control your tone, your words. And the next decision. Two I want you to slow down, to speed up. What does that mean? When everything's on fire, the best leaders slow down. I once said stop Everyone, take a breath, let's assess what needs to happen now. That 30-second pause allowed us to get clear on priorities and execute without losing our heads secure without losing our heads. And then three prepare before the pressure comes. My go-to is asking these two questions what's the worst that can happen here and what's the most likely outcome? And then, what does this situation need for me as the leader right now? If you'll ask yourself those two questions, you're going to find some clarity.

Speaker 2:

Pressure doesn't build great leaders. How you handle it does. Okay. Calm isn't just a personality trait, it's a practice skill. You've probably heard the old saying practice makes perfect. That's a lie, because if you're practicing something wrong, that doesn't make it perfect. Perfect practice makes things perfect. You've got to practice doing things well in order to get better at it. All right.

Speaker 2:

Next question what are the most practical steps I can take to become a people-first leader, especially when I've never had that modeled for me, man, okay, this is a powerful question. Look, just because you didn't have a people-first leader doesn't mean you can't become one. Didn't have a people first leader doesn't mean you can't become one. Okay, I'm going to give you three practical steps to help you get there. The first one prioritize relationships over results.

Speaker 2:

Okay, start small. Ask about your team's lives, their goals, their challenges. Connection creates commitment. Two listen more than you talk and one-on-ones ask them what's going well, what's challenging you, and then listen. And then three be specific. In recognition. Say I saw how you stayed calm under pressure. That made a huge difference. Specific praise shows people that you actually see them. It's less generic. You're praising them for something specific. Okay, you're not just leading your team, you're modeling the kind of leadership they'll carry forward. Okay, decide to be that leader for someone else. All right, we'll end with this one. Colby, what's one leadership mistake you made early on that shaped how you lead today? Oh man, there's a lot there.

Speaker 2:

That's a lot to answer, because there's no shortage of mistakes to choose from, but one that really stands out is this I used to think leadership meant having all the answers. I believe that if I didn't know everything, I'd lose credibility. So I overcompensated, I micromanaged, I made decisions in a vacuum, I closed myself off from feedback. The result you can imagine right, the team felt disempowered and I felt exhausted. I had created a bottleneck where nothing moved without my say-so, and I was too prideful to admit it. Here's what I learned Leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about asking the right questions and trusting the people around you. When I finally said, hey, I don't know the answer to this, what do you think? It transformed everything. My team suddenly felt valued. The collaboration increased. We started making better decisions together. So the biggest lesson was this Humility doesn't weaken your leadership, it strengthens it. I hope you wrote that down. If you're driving, don't write that down. Admitting you don't know something gives your team permission to step up. They take ownership and they bring their best ideas to the table. And here's the kicker People already know. When you don't have all the answers, you're not fooling anyone when you try to fake it. In fact, when you try to pretend you're the smartest person in the room, that just creates a wall between you and your team. Okay, it sends a message that you value looking good over, being real. What I realized over time is that people respect leaders who admit their limitations. Why? Because it shows that you're confident enough in yourself to not have to be perfect. You model the very thing you want to see in your team right Openness, vulnerability, willingness to grow. Here's an example Years ago, I was leading a project that went sideways.

Speaker 2:

Deadlines were missed, communication had completely broken down and I didn't have a clear fix. Instead of pulling my team into a room, as I probably normally would have, and said here's what we're going to do, I did something radical, at least for me at the time. I brought the team together and said look, here's where we're struggling and honestly, I don't have the answer right now. What ideas do you all have for getting us back on track. What happened next blew me away. The team jumped in without hesitation with solutions that I hadn't even considered. They took ownership of the problem and suddenly it wasn't just my problem anymore. It was our challenge to solve together. That moment taught me this truth. When you give your team the space to contribute, you unlock their creativity, you unlock their commitment, their confidence. It's no longer about they lack their commitment, their confidence. It's no longer about you being the hero. It's about building a team of heroes.

Speaker 2:

Here's a practical takeaway for anyone listening who might be struggling with this. First, be intentional about what you don't know. It's okay to say I don't have that answer yet, but I'll find out, or, hey, let's figure that out together. Two, ask better questions. A simple what's your perspective or how would you handle this Can change the dynamic of any conversation. And three, celebrate the wins that come from your team's ideas.

Speaker 2:

When a solution works, give credit where it's due. It's a powerful way to reinforce what your team's input is and that it matters. Hey, in the long run, admitting what you don't know doesn't make you look weak. It makes you trustworthy. It shows that you value your team enough to include them in the process. And, trust me, people will follow a leader they trust far more than a leader who knows it all.

Speaker 2:

So if you're sitting there as a new leader or crap even as a seasoned one and you're still trying to carry everything on your own shoulders, stop it. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to be brave enough to ask for help, wise enough to let your team shine. That was one of my biggest mistakes and one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. Leadership isn't about proving yourself. It's about empowering others. All right, leaders. That's it for today's Q&A episode. I hope these answers gave you something you can take into your leadership this week. Hey, if you have more questions, send them my way. I love hearing from you. You found today's episode valuable. Do me a favor hit subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with another leader. And don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn. There are great leadership conversations happening over there. Until next time, lead with humility, clarity and intention. And you know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.