Things Leaders Do

Beyond Listening: Unlocking the Power of Empathy in Leadership

• Colby Morris

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🎙️ Episode Overview:
Empathy is more than just a leadership buzzword—it’s the key to building trust, strengthening relationships, and driving results. In this episode of Things Leaders Do, host Colby Morris breaks down empathy into actionable strategies that you can implement immediately. Drawing inspiration from Patrick Lencioni and sharing real-life stories, Colby shows how listening, understanding, and tough conversations can transform your leadership impact.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why listening deeply is the foundation of empathy—and how to go beyond surface-level understanding.
  • How walking in your team’s shoes builds trust and reveals invaluable insights.
  • A proven framework for using empathy during difficult conversations.

Key Takeaways:

  • The three levels of listening: surface, context, and emotion—and how to apply them in your daily interactions.
  • Practical ways to implement empathy check-ins, such as shadowing employees or engaging in their workflows.
  • A step-by-step process to handle tough conversations with clarity and compassion, ensuring trust is maintained.

Quotes from the Episode:

  • “The most important thing you can do as a leader is to love your people. And love starts with understanding.” – Patrick Lencioni
  • “Empathy isn’t just about feeling; it’s about taking meaningful action that shows you care.”

Action Challenge for This Week:
Find one way to practice empathy:

  • Ask better questions during your next one-on-one meeting.
  • Shadow a team member to understand their challenges firsthand.
  • Prepare for a tough conversation using the empathy framework shared in this episode.

Connect with Colby Morris:

  • LinkedIn: Connect with me for more insights, discussions, and leadership tips. https://www.linkedin.com/in/colbymorris/
  • Speaking Engagements: Interested in bringing these lessons to your organization? Colby is available for corporate trainings, webinars, and more. Reach out to book a session Colby@NXTStepAdvisors.com

Subscribe & Share:
If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with another leader who could benefit from these insights. Together, let’s create a culture of empathy-driven leadership.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to Things Leaders Do, the podcast that uncovers the secrets of becoming an extraordinary leader. If you're a leader who's constantly seeking growth, inspiration and tangible ways to level up your leadership, then you've come to the right place. Remember, the world needs exceptional leaders, and that leader is you Now. Here's your host, colby Morris. Is you Now? Here's your host, colby Morris.

Speaker 2:

Hello leaders and welcome back to the TLD podcast. I'm Colby Morris, your host, and I'm here every week because I want to help you become a better leader. Faster Leadership isn't easy, and I know firsthand because I've made all the mistakes at every level, from frontline manager to middle manager to executive. I have been where you are and I understand the challenges you face. My goal is to give you tools and strategies to make your job easier and more impactful. You can trust the advice I share here because it comes from experience, the kind that leaves you with stories you laugh about later but truly cringe at in the moment. I know the pain points of leadership and I've learned how to overcome them for the most part. Together, we're going to explore how to lead better so you can build stronger teams, achieve bigger goals and feel more confident in your role as a leader.

Speaker 2:

Today, we're diving into one of the most misunderstood yet critical leadership skills empathy. Now, before you roll your eyes and think, god, not another soft skill lecture, stick with me, because empathy isn't just about feelings, it's about connection, it's about action and, yes, results. As Patrick Lincione says, the most important thing you can do as a leader is to love your people, and love starts with understanding. By the way, if you don't listen to Patrick Lincione, may I highly recommend that you do. This is exactly where we're diving in today how to lead with empathy in ways that are practical, actionable and impactful.

Speaker 2:

Let me start with a quick story today. A few years ago, I had a team member who came to me visibly upset. I thought I was being an empathetic leader when I said don't worry, you got this. But instead of feeling supported, they looked even more frustrated. Later I obviously realized I'd completely missed the point. They didn't need a cheerleader, they needed a leader or someone to understand their struggle, to offer real help. That's the moment I learned empathy isn't just about saying nice things. It's about really listening and acting. So today we're breaking down empathy into three actionable parts listening deeply, walking in their shoes and using empathy in tough conversations. Listening isn't just hearing words, it's understanding the emotions and the context behind those words.

Speaker 2:

Let me share a story to illustrate this. A manager I know once had a high-performing team member who started missing deadlines. When they finally spoke, the team member mentioned just feeling overwhelmed. The manager nodded, gave them a quick pep talk and said you'll get through it, just hang in there. Sound familiar. Turns out, the real issue wasn't about motivation. It was about a workload that had doubled without any additional support. Yeah, that part probably sounds familiar, doesn't it? Contrast this with a leader who, when faced with a similar situation, asked follow-up questions like what's been the hardest part of your week and what support would make the biggest impact or difference right now? By going beyond surface-level listening, they uncovered the need for a temporary shift in priorities. They added resources to ease the workload.

Speaker 2:

Here's your practical takeaway for this I want you to develop the habit of asking three levels of questions. Okay, three levels First is surface, then context and then emotion. Surface context, emotion. So the surface question what's happening? Context, why is this happening? And then emotion how is this affecting you? So a surface question. You're going to ask open-ended questions like what's been going on this week or what's on your mind. This encourages your team members to share more openly. Right the context.

Speaker 2:

This is where you dig deeper by exploring the circumstances behind their answers. For example, why do you think this issue is coming up now? Or what's changed recently that might be affecting this? Finally, validate their feelings by asking how is this situation making you feel? Or what's the most frustrating part for you. By focusing on emotions, you show that you care about the well-being, not just the work. These three levels not only help you understand the real issue, but also build trust and strengthen your connection with the team.

Speaker 2:

All right, empathy isn't just about understanding. It's about showing that you understand. Does that make sense? Here's a great example. A leader I worked with decided to shadow their team for a day to better understand their challenges. I want you to picture this now. This is a we'll call them a polished executive okay, trying to handle customer support calls. Within an hour, they were fumbling with the software. They were putting customers on hold on accident. They were asking how do you unmute this thing? It was hilarious. It also taught the leader just how complex the job was and how much pressure their team faced daily. The experience completely changed how they approached resourcing and support. The team's morale skyrocketed because they saw their leader genuinely cared enough to step into their world.

Speaker 2:

Here's your practical takeaway. I want you to schedule empathy check-ins. Spend some time in your employees' environments, whether that's shadowing them, joining their meetings or walking the production line. Okay, shadow. Pick a day to observe and participate in your team's workflow, whether it's answering calls, joining sales meetings or working on the floor, you're going to gain firsthand insights into their daily realities. And then reflection, after you shadow, take notes on the challenges you observed and discuss them with your team. Okay, ask them, hey, what's the one thing we could change to make your job easier? Believe me, they already know. And then the action. I want you to use these insights to make tangible improvements. Ok, even small adjustments, like simplifying a process or providing better tools that will show your team you care and you're committed to supporting them. These check ins not only like enhance your understanding, but they also create a culture where employees will feel seen and valued.

Speaker 2:

Tough conversations are every leader's nightmare, or most of them. Whether it's giving difficult feedback or letting someone go, the stakes are usually pretty high. But here's the thing Empathy makes these conversations more effective, not less painful. Did you hear that Empathy makes these conversations more effective, not less painful? Did you hear that Empathy makes these conversations more effective, not less painful? Let me tell you about a leader who had to let a long time employee go. Instead of rushing the process, they spent time understanding the employee's perspective, their fears, frustrations or future goals. During the conversation, they acknowledged the employee's contributions, they explained the decision clearly and they even offered resources to help with the transition. Now here's the funny part this leader practiced the entire conversation with me on Zoom first, and then started practicing in front of a mirror, complete with awkward hand gestures and everything that we had worked on. But it worked. The employee left feeling respected, not discarded.

Speaker 2:

Here's some takeaways I want you to have for this week. I want you to use this framework for tough conversations. I want you to validate their this week. I want you to use this framework for tough conversations. I want you to validate their feelings. Begin with empathy. Okay, by acknowledging their emotions, for example look, I know, this is difficult. I want you to know, I understand how you feel and you need to be genuine there. Okay, if it's just a script, you're saying it means absolutely nothing.

Speaker 2:

Two, I want you to be clear. State the facts clearly and without sugarcoating. For example, here's why this decision was made, or this is the feedback I've been hearing consistently. And then, three, provide support. I want you to offer tangible next steps, whether that's career resources, development opportunities or even actionable feedback. For example, I'd like to help you transition by connecting you with someone in my network. Or here's a plan for how we can work on this together. Or here's a plan for how we can work on this together, just like that other leader I mentioned earlier.

Speaker 2:

I want you to practice these steps beforehand. You can role play with a trusted colleague or even rehearse alone in the mirror, but preparation will reduce your anxiety and ensure you approach the conversation with actual confidence and compassion. That's going to be a lot bigger than you can possibly imagine. Y'all, I want to thank you for listening. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with another leader and connect with me on LinkedIn for more conversations like this. That link, as always, is in the show notes. And also, if you're looking for someone to speak at an engagement, I'm available for speaking engagements, corporate trainings, webinars, one-on-one coaching and more. Okay, if you're interested, reach out my email's in the show notes as well, and I'd love to bring this conversation to your team, to you, to your organization.

Speaker 2:

Okay, your challenge this week. I want you to find one way to practice empathy. Whether it's asking better questions, shadowing a team member or preparing for a tough conversation, take action. You don't get better at anything you don't practice. I don't care if it's baseball, I don't care if it's underwater basket. Weaving, leadership is the same. You have to practice things in order to get better at them, okay. So go out there, prepare, okay, prepare for those tough meetings, those tough conversations. Take action. You know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.