Things Leaders Do
Things Leaders Do is the go-to podcast for leaders who want real, actionable strategies—not just theory. Whether you're a new leader stepping into management or a seasoned executive refining your skills, host Colby Morris delivers practical tools and processes you can start using today to lead with confidence, clarity, and impact.
Each episode breaks down key leadership topics with humor, insight, and real-world application, covering:
✅ How to communicate effectively and build trust in your team
✅ The secrets to high-performance leadership and team culture
✅ Handling setbacks and leading under pressure
✅ How to be a people-first leader without losing accountability
✅ Mastering the balance between strategy, execution, and influence
No fluff. No vague concepts. Just tactical advice that helps you grow as a leader and drive real results in your business or organization.
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🔑 Keywords: leadership, leadership development, new managers, executive coaching, team culture, business growth, personal development, management strategies, communication skills, success, accountability, productivity
Things Leaders Do
The Conflict Series: Your Team is Not a Family
The Conflict Series: Your Team is Not a Family
Is your workplace really a family—or are you avoiding the tough conversations your team actually needs?
In this episode of Things Leaders Do, Colby Morris kicks off The Conflict Series by taking aim at one of the most popular myths in leadership today: the idea that your team should function like a family. While “we’re like a family here” sounds heartwarming, it often creates confusion, stifles innovation, and sabotages accountability.
Colby shares personal stories, expert quotes, and hard-won lessons from the front lines of leadership to help you build a culture of trust, performance, and growth—without the emotional traps that “family culture” can bring. Whether you're a new leader trying to define your voice or a seasoned executive looking to shift your organization’s culture, this episode gives you the tools to lead with clarity and courage.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why calling your team a “family” can lead to underperformance and missed opportunities
- How avoiding conflict in the name of harmony kills innovation
- Real-world examples of leadership mistakes and what they taught Colby
- The exact language to use instead of “we’re a family” to inspire accountability and unity
- A 3-step leadership challenge to reset expectations and take action this week
This episode is ideal for frontline managers, senior leaders, HR professionals, and leadership coaches who want to create high-trust, high-performance cultures without falling into the emotional traps of outdated leadership clichés.
If this episode hits home, share it with your team and open the conversation.
Interested in bringing this message to your organization? Colby is available for leadership trainings, offsites, and team culture resets. Connect with him on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/colbymorris/) or reach out directly using the contact link below:
Hello leaders and welcome back to the TLD podcast. I'm Colby Morris and I have led from the front line all the way to the C-suite. My goal is really simple it's just to give you real practical tools you can use to lead better, faster. These episodes are designed to fit into your commute. You've noticed they're short, but I want them to be packed with enough substance to shift how you lead the moment you walk through the door.
Speaker 1:Today we're kicking off the conflict series, and this first topic might ruffle just a few feathers, and it's this your team is not a family. Did I just hit a nerve? Probably, but let me explain. You can have strong, healthy, people-first cultures, but if you're calling your workplace a family, there's a good chance you're unintentionally avoiding the very conflict that would help your team grow. Let's get into it the myth of we're a family here.
Speaker 1:Adam Grant said the most dysfunctional organizations I've worked with were the ones that describe themselves as families. Look, when leaders say we're like a family here, they usually mean well. I mean they want to communicate safety, loyalty and belonging. But here's the thing. Families are built on unconditional love and lifetime commitment. Organizations are built on aligned values, shared goals and performance. Calling your workplace. A family creates an unspoken expectation. One, that feedback is optional because, well, we love each other. Or two, that underperformance is tolerated because we've known each other forever. Or three, that people leaving feels like a betrayal. That's not healthy culture. That's confusion with a warm tone. Okay, so let's talk about why avoiding conflict in family culture kills growth.
Speaker 1:Number one avoidance of accountability. You see, when we treat a team like a family, we often hesitate to hold people accountable. After all, in a family we overlook flaws. We tell ourselves well, that's just how Uncle Dave is right. But in a team, avoiding accountability leads to mediocrity fast. Years ago I had a high performer who had slowly become toxic. They were great at their job, but they bulldoze other people. They ignored deadlines and resisted feedback. I just kept thinking we've been through a lot together. I know their heart, so I I let it go and I kept letting it go Until one day a new team member came to me and very innocently asked why does everyone have to follow the rules except for that person? That's when I realized I was not leading, I was enabling. In that moment I learned this Avoiding accountability does not protect culture, it poisons it All right.
Speaker 1:Number two stagnation over innovation. Healthy conflict is where innovation is born. The moment you create a culture where people are afraid to challenge ideas or speak uncomfortable truths, you've captured potential. But real innovation requires fiction. That's friction, not fiction. Productive tension, disagreement in service of something better. Think about the best ideas you've seen come to life. How many started with someone saying I don't think this is working. In growth cultures, people aren't pushed for challenging the status quo. They're expected to. If you want a culture of excellence, your team has to know it's safe to say there's a better way and you, as the leader, have to be open to hearing it, even when it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Three the guilt trap. Family language creates guilt on both sides. As a leader, I once had someone on my team who simply just wasn't meeting expectations. I had coached, trained, extended multiple chances, but I just couldn't bring myself to let them go. Why? Because we had a family culture. Letting them go felt personal. Eventually they left on their own, and you know what someone told me afterward we were wondering why you kept them around so long. Ouch, that one hurt. But it taught me something the longer you hold on to the wrong person, the more damage you do to the right ones.
Speaker 1:All right, I want you to replace family with this. This is where we pivot New leaders. Look, I get it. You're building your leadership identity. You want to be liked, you want to be trusted. So calling your team a family feels like the quickest way to create that closeness. But here's the truth. Clarity creates trust, not sentiment. Instead of saying we're a family, I want you to say we're a high trust team that holds each other to a high standard. Okay, or we care personally and we challenge directly.
Speaker 1:Shout out there to Kim Scott's Radical Candor. If you haven't read it. You seasoned leaders out there. Look, look, you've weathered storms. You've seen teams rise, you've seen them fall, but if you're still clinging to the family identity, you might be protecting what was instead of building what's next. John maxwell said it this way the greatest enemy of tomorrow's success is today's comfort. So, instead of we're a family, shift your language. We're a mission-driven team that values performance and support in equal measure. Or we're a culture of feedback, accountability and shared success. Let your team feel safe, but don't confuse safety with immunity from responsibility.
Speaker 1:All right, let's get to the leadership challenge. Here's your move this week. I want you to do a few things. Number one be confident. Audit your language. I want you to go back through your team meetings, onboarding materials, job descriptions. Are you using family language? I want you to replace it with clearer, performance, aligned language. How do we want to define our culture? Do we want to be a family? Do we want to be a team that wins together? Let them speak, let them wrestle with it. That's how culture shifts, and feel free to counter argue with some of the points I've made in this. See how they think about it.
Speaker 1:And then three make one hard move you've been avoiding. And then three make one hard move you've been avoiding. Is there a tough conversation you've been putting off of in the name of, you know, keeping the peace? Schedule it this week. Come in clear, kind and direct. You're not just holding them accountable. You're showing the rest of the team that standards matter.
Speaker 1:Look, leaders, great cultures are built on clarity, consistency and courage, not on comfort, not on nostalgia and definitely not on dysfunctional family dynamics dressed up as loyalty. If you've been calling your team a family, it's time to evolve that language. Build a team where people are cared for and challenged and, if you'd like, help facilitating that shift, if your team needs to reset expectations, reestablish accountability or just have an honest culture check. I'd love to help. I'd love to speak at your organization. You can connect with me on LinkedIn or reach out using the link in the show notes and hey, if this episode hit home, share it with a leader on your team. Open up the conversation for all of you, invite the hard dialogue. That's how teams grow and you know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.