Things Leaders Do

The One-on-One Series: Why Your One-on-Ones Aren't Working

Colby Morris

Why Your One-on-Ones Aren’t Working—And How to Fix Them

Episode 1 of the One-on-One Meeting Series | The Things Leaders Do Podcast with Colby Morris

Most one-on-one meetings aren’t working—and deep down, you probably know it.
They’re rushed. Disorganized. Too focused on tasks. Or worse—nonexistent. And when that’s the case, you’re not leading… you’re reacting.

In this episode, Colby Morris breaks down why one-on-ones fail, why they matter more than you think, and a simple, proven 4-step structure that will help you transform these meetings into your most powerful leadership tool. Whether you manage 3 people or 30, this episode gives you a framework that actually works.

You’ll learn:

  • Why bad one-on-ones erode trust, culture, and performance
  • How intentional one-on-ones support people-first leadership
  • A 4-part agenda that builds connection, alignment, and growth
  • Why energy checks (like the “battery level” question) are key
  • Real-world coaching questions and leadership prompts that move people forward

This is Episode 1 of our One-on-One Meeting Series—and it sets the foundation for everything that follows.

Leadership Challenge inside: Use this episode to structure your next one-on-one meeting.

Need support or a template? Connect with Colby directly on LinkedIn or by email to get the same one-on-one agenda and prompts he uses with his teams.

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Colby is available for speaking
Interested in booking Colby for a keynote, team training, or leadership offsite? Reach out through LinkedIn or by email to learn more.

Connect with Colby Morris
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colby-morris/
Email: colby@NXTStepAdvisors.com
Website: NXTStepAdvisors.com


Speaker 1:

This is the first episode in our one-on-one meeting series. I'm going to tell you something that might sting just a little. If you aren't having consistent, intentional one-on-ones with your team, you're not leading, you're reacting. And if you're listening to this podcast, I know you're not a passive leader. You're someone who wants to grow, someone who wants to lead better, faster. Hey, leaders, I'm Colby Morris, coo, leadership coach, fractional COO and I'm someone who's led from just about every chair in the org chart, from the frontline supervisor to the senior executive. I've been in the weeds, I've led the turnarounds and I've built the cultures. This podcast is short on purpose. You can knock it out on the drive to work and you can start implementing it before lunch. We're talking real leadership for real results, so let's get into it. Let's start with the honest truth A lot of one-on-ones. They're not really leadership, they're calendar clutter. There's no structure, no preparation, no point was no structure, no preparation, no point.

Speaker 1:

I once coached a manager let's call him Jake, to protect the innocent who thought these one-on-ones were fine At least he thought his were. But his team was telling a different story. They were disengaged and he couldn't figure out why. Turns out, his meetings were just task check-ins no connection, no growth. Just did you finish that report? Half his team was burning out and he missed it because he wasn't really listening. And that's dangerous.

Speaker 1:

Okay, when that's the norm, the damage is real. People start checking out, misalignment grows, accountability fades. I've seen it firsthand. Leaders who skip or rush one-on-ones end up managing outputs instead of building teams. They think they're being efficient, but what they're really doing is just weakening trust and they're losing their influence. And when influence disappears, leadership goes with it. But when one-on-ones are done right, they're a game changer. When one-on-ones are done right, they're a game changer. They give you visibility, they build trust, they show your team that you see them, not just their task list, not just their results. Because here's the deal you can't be a people-first leader if you don't know your people well. Imagine you're on a team and the only time your boss talks to you is when you mess up or at your annual review. How does that feel? Probably like you're invisible, unless you screw up. Okay, if the only time you hear or your employees hear from you is during a performance review or when they've messed up, you're not building culture, you're draining it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let me share a quick story. Early in my career, I had a team member who just seemed off you know, not really herself In a one-on-one. I asked a very simple question. I said hey, what's going on for you right now? Turns out she was overwhelmed by a project we were working on. But she didn't want to seem weak. So we made some adjustments, adjusted our workload, and she went from that quiet, not-saying-anything person to one of my top performers. That's the power of showing up and actually listening.

Speaker 1:

One-on-ones are where that relationship is built. There were small concerns or surfaced early. It's where wins get celebrated. It's where coaching actually happens. It's where coaching actually happens. Okay, it's in the moment, not six months too late.

Speaker 1:

Now, if your one-on-ones have felt flat or if you're not even having them regularly, okay, I've got a framework you can start using today. It's simple, it's fast and it works. Here's how I run mine. Step one I start with a personal or energy check. Okay, this isn't filler. This is where you get a read on how they're showing up. I like to ask what's your battery level today? Okay, like a phone, are they at 85% and just cruising? Or 22% and just barely hanging on? Maybe they're at a hundred percent and they're ready to dive in. That gives me a quick sense of where they are mentally, emotionally, even physically, okay. Are they coasting at 85 or drained at 22? This tells me how much to push, how much to support, okay, and whether this is a time for challenge or just presence. Does that make sense? It's also a reminder that you see them as a person, not just as a performer. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Step two I try to align on goals and priorities. Okay. This is where you kind of cut through the noise. You ask something like what's your top priority right now? Are there any blockers in your way? Is there anything I think is urgent that you're not even thinking about? That? Last one is key. That can reveal that misalignment real quick. I once had a team member who was just spinning his wheels on a low priority project because he wasn't sure what I expected. A quick alignment question what success looked like here? That's what got us back on track. It didn't seem like much, but we were able to align. Okay, don't assume because you said something in a team meeting that it landed. Okay. One-on-ones are your chance to check for understanding and adjust before the problems grow All right.

Speaker 1:

Step three coach and develop. This is where a lot of leaders just drop the ball. They either skip it or they confuse it with giving feedback. You're like Colby what's the difference? Well, think of it this way Feedback is reactive. Think of it this way Feedback is reactive. Coaching is proactive. Coaching sounds like hey, what's a skill you want to get stronger at this quarter? Or can I share something I've noticed that might help you level up? Or what's a bold move you can make this quarter? For example, I coached a leader who was great at execution but shy about presenting to the executives. And I wonder, when I asked what's one way you could own the room in our next meeting, we brainstormed for a little while and, honestly, she nailed her next pitch. This is where growth happens.

Speaker 1:

It's not just about fixing problems, it's about building capacity, about building capability. Great leaders don't just supervise, they stretch people. All right, let's move to step four Clear the roadblocks. Ask something like hey, what's slowing you down right now? Is there something I can take off your plate to help move things forward? Okay, you're not there to rescue them, but you are there to make sure they're not stuck. You know, spinning their wheels somewhere because of something you could have solved in you know two minutes. Removing friction is one of the most underutilized leadership tools out there. Sometimes it's processes, sometimes it's approvals, sometimes it's just letting them vent for 90 seconds. Whatever it is, this is your chance to lean in.

Speaker 1:

So, to recap, your four-part framework is start with a personal check-in, or battery check, align on priorities and expectations, coach for development and then clear the roadblocks. Look, it doesn't need to be a full hour. You can do this in 20 minutes if you're focused. And once you do this consistently, the results are obvious. You know, your people feel seen, they feel supported, they feel developed and you, you stop managing and you start doing what Leading. So what's next?

Speaker 1:

In episode two, we're going to go even deeper. I'll show you how I rotate four different types of one-on-one conversations over the course of a month, so they don't go still. That includes Maslow based needs check-ins, employee development goals, performance accountability and even leader rounding. I'll give you the cadence I recommend based on how many direct reports you have, because because, let's be real what works with four direct reports breaks down if you've got 12. Okay. So here's your leadership challenge. Look at your calendar, schedule your next round of one-on-ones and show up with this framework in mind.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and don't just listen to your people. Learn them, learn your people. And if you want a copy of the framework or a sample agenda to get things started, just shoot me a message on LinkedIn or you can email me. That's all in the show notes. I'm happy to share the documents I use myself and if you found this episode helpful, do me a favor, send it to another leader who needs it. Okay, let's help raise that bar together. And hey, most of you listening right now you're not subscribed to the show. Would you do me a quick favor and just hit that follow button? That's how we get this in front of more leaders and start creating real change where it matters at work, because leadership isn't built in a boardroom, it's forged in moments like this. And you know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.