Why Your Onboarding Sucks (And How to Fix It)

How do you onboard new employees effectively? Don't leave it all to HR. While HR handles paperwork and compliance, leaders must own the relationship-building aspects of onboarding. Stay in contact before Day 1, ensure workspace and tools are ready, conduct weekly one-on-ones for the first 90 days, and teach culture through real stories instead of just handing someone a handbook.

Episode Description

Your HR department is great at what they do. They handle paperwork, benefits, compliance training.

But they can't make someone feel like they belong on your team. That's your job.

Most managers think onboarding is HR's responsibility. So they stay hands-off until Day 1—or worse, Week 2. And by Month 3, they're wondering why their new hire is disengaged.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What to do before Day 1 to build excitement and connection
• How to make Day 1 seamless instead of awkward
• Why weekly one-on-ones are non-negotiable for the first 90 days
• How to teach culture through stories, not slides

Because HR can handle the paperwork. But building belonging? That's on you.

Resources Mentioned

• Dan Collard quote: "Culture can't just hang on the walls. It has to walk the halls."

Connect with Colby Morris

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/colbymorris
Website: nxtstepadvisors.com

Coming Soon (April 2026)

• Second weekly podcast episode featuring interviews with leaders
• YouTube version of The Things Leaders Do podcast

Remember: HR can handle the paperwork. But you have to handle the belonging.

• Colby's LinkedIn Profile
• Things Leaders Do Instagram

Transcript

Why HR Isn’t Onboarding Your Team

SPEAKER_00 0:00

People first leadership. Actionable strategies, real results. This is Things Leaders Do with Colby Morris.

Passive Onboarding’s Hidden Costs

Onboarding Starts At Offer Acceptance

Designing A Confident Day One

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Okay, let me paint the picture for you. Someone accepts your you know your job offer. They're excited, you're excited. And then what happens next? HR sends them a bunch of paperwork to fill out. Maybe they get a generic welcome email, you know, the kind that feels like it was written by a committee in 2003. And you're the manager. You're busy, you've got meetings, you've got fires to put out, you've got that project that's behind schedule. So you figure, HR's got this. I'll see them on day one. Then day one comes. HR does orientation, benefits, compliance training. Here's your badge. Here's the break room. Sign these 17 forms. Then HR walks them over to you. And you look up your laptop and you're like, oh, hey, great to have you. Let me show you to your desk. We'll get you set up with access to the systems probably by the end of the week. I'm slammed today, but we'll catch up soon. And then you go and dive back into your email. Any of this sound familiar? Because I've seen it a lot. In fact, I see it all the time. Here's the thing: your HR department is fantastic at what they do. They handle paperwork, they process benefits, they make sure you don't get sued, which is good. But they can't onboard someone into your team. That's not their job. That's yours. They can't make someone feel like they belong. They can't set the culture. They can't build the relationship that helps someone actually succeed here. Look, I get it. I know you're busy. Boarding feels like something that happens on, you know, autopilot. HR does their thing, and eventually the new person figures it out, right? Except that's not what happens. What actually happens is this they they show up excited. They want to do well. They want to fit in. They want to prove that you made the right call on hiring them. And instead of feeling welcomed into the team, they feel more processed through a system. And by month three, they're either disengaged or actively looking for their next opportunity. So here's what we're going to talk about today. What leader-driven onboarding actually looks like. Not the HR stuff. They've got that covered. Okay, I'm talking about the stuff only you can do. Staying in contact before day one so they know you're actually excited they're coming. Making sure their workspace and tools are ready so day one doesn't feel like an afterthought. Doing weekly one-on-ones from day one, not just to check boxes, but actually build the relationship and catch issues early. And teaching culture through real story is not just handing someone a handbook and calling it done. HR can handle the paperwork, but building belonging, that's on you. Let me show you how to do it. Hey leaders, this is Colby Morris, and you're listening to the Things Leaders Do podcasts. I try to give you real actionable guidance. Okay, no corporate jargon, no theory you can't actually use, just practical tools you can implement right away so you can be a better leader faster. All right, here's some real talk. Let's be super clear about what HR does really, really well. HR handles like all the stuff you don't want to touch. Compliance, benefits enrollment, payroll setup, tax forms, background checks, making making sure you don't get sued so that everyone actually gets paid. And thank God they do this because you don't want to be the one explaining, you know, having to explain the HSA contribution limits or having to figure out the I-9 forms. Okay, that's their wheelhouse. Let them run with it. Here's what HR can't do. And this is not a knock on HR, it's just reality. They can't make someone feel like they're part of your team. Think about it. They can't explain how your specific team operates. Okay, they don't they don't know your team's dynamics or quirks or those unwritten rules. They can't, they can't set expectations for what good performance looks like on your team. And they definitely can't build the relationship that actually helps someone navigate those first 90 days with you. They can hand someone the employee handbook, which, let's be honest, nobody really reads anyway, but they can't make someone feel what it's actually like to work on this team. So here's what happens in most organizations. Managers think onboarding is HR's job. So they don't really get involved until day one. Or if we're being honest, probably until week two, when HR finally brings the new hires over and says, you know, okay, they're all yours. That's when the manager looks up from the laptop. Oh, yeah, the new person started. Yeah, we should probably talk at some point this week. But by that time, the new hires already formed their first impressions. Okay, they've they've already decided whether this place feels welcoming or whether it feels like, I don't know, organized chaos. Whether people actually care about them being here or whether they're just another name on the org chart. Let me walk you through what passive onboarding actually looks like and see if this sounds familiar. Week one, the new hire shows up. HR does their orientation thing. You're legitimately swamped. You've got back-to-back meetings all day, so you tell them, we'll catch up soon, I promise. Then they sit at their desk awkwardly, probably Googling what to do when your new manager is too busy for you. Week two, they still don't have access to half the systems they actually need to do their job. Okay, they're they're not sure who to ask for help because everyone seems really busy and really important. So they're basically trying to learn the culture by watching people walk past their desk. In week four, yeah, they're starting to feel disconnected. Or maybe they are just disconnected. They don't really know the team. They're they're wondering if the team they interviewed with is even the same team they're working with now. And yeah, they're probably checking their LinkedIn to see if their old job is still posted. By month three, they're either completely disengaged or they're actively looking for something else. Okay, you're you're sitting in your office thinking, why isn't this person working out? They seem so enthusiastic in the interview. You see what happened there? You thought HR was handling it. HR thought you were handling it. And the new hire spent three months feeling like nobody was actually handling it. That's what passive onboarding creates. And honestly, it is completely avoidable. Okay, here's something most managers get wrong. They think onboarding starts on day one. It doesn't. Okay, it starts the second someone accepts your offer. Here's the typical scenario. You send the offer, the candidate accepts, and then nothing. Radio silence until their start date. Maybe HR sends some paperwork. Okay, maybe they get a generic, we're excited to have you email that was clearly written by a robot back in 2007. But from you, their actual manager? Yeah. Crickets. Tumbleweed blowing across the email inbox. Here's what's going through that, you know, that new hire's mind during those two or three or four weeks before they start. Did I make the right decision? What's this team actually like? Are they really excited I'm coming, or did they already forget they hired me? And what if I don't fit in? Look, you've got this window of time. Don't waste it. I want you to stay in contact. Here's what I want you to do: send them a message. And I'm not talking from a formal HR email. I'm talking about a real human message from you. Something like, hey, we're really excited you're joining the team. I know you've got a couple weeks before you start, but I wanted to reach out and let you know we're already getting things ready for you. Looking forward to having you here. And that's it. Nothing fancy, just real and human and reassuring. You'd be amazed how much anxiety that simple message eliminates. And then here's something I absolutely love, and it is so easy to do. Ask your team to record quick introduction videos. And I mean quick, like 30-second, you know, phone selfies. Nothing professional or polished, just hey, I'm Sarah. I work on the operation side, and I'm really excited to work with you, Tom. Welcome to the team. And then send those videos to the new hire before day one. Why does this work so well? Because it makes your team feel real to the person. Instead of walking into a room full of complete strangers on day one, they're walking into a room of people they've they've already met, sort of. They've heard your voices, they've seen your faces. It completely changes the dynamic of that first day. And one more thing before day one. Let them know what to actually expect. Not just the logistics. You know, show up at 9 a.m., park in the visitor lot. I'm talking about the tone, the vibe, what it's actually going to feel like. Try something like this. Day one is going to be a mix of HR paperwork stuff and getting to know the team. Don't stress about trying to remember everything. Nobody expects you to have it all figured out on day one. But focus on meeting people and getting settled. We'll dig into the actual work in week two. This removes so much anxiety. They know what's coming. They know it's okay not to have everything figured out immediately. And honestly, that's a gift you're giving them. All right, day one. This is where so many onboarding experiences completely fall apart. And it's usually over stuff that's totally preventable. The new hire shows up and their workspace isn't ready. Their computer's not set up. They don't have access to any of the systems they actually need. And everyone's scrambling around, oh well, we'll get you set up just a few days. Look, that's a disaster. And it sends a terrible message. You know what that message is? Hey, you're not important. And that's not the message you want to send. So before they walk in that door, make sure their workspace is actually set up. Like fully set up. Desk, chair, computer, monitor, all the normal stuff. Keyboard, mouse, headset if they need one. Here's a small thing that actually makes a huge difference. Put something on their desk that says, welcome. Okay. It could be a it could be a card that everyone on the team signed. It could be a coffee mug with the company logo. It could be a plant. Honestly, it doesn't really matter what it is. What matters is that when they walk in on day one, they immediately see that someone actually thought about them, that someone prepared for them to be here. It's such a small gesture, but it completely changes how that first day feels. Okay, listen, there's nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than showing up to a new job and not being able to actually do your job because you don't have the right access. You can't log into the system. The share drive won't let you in. The software you need, it's blocked. Your login credentials don't work. The password reset link is broken. Nothing works. And you're sitting there awkwardly while your manager is like, uh-huh, that's weird. Let me put in a ticket with IT. Should be sorted out in a few days. A few days? You just started. You want to contribute. You want to prove you're worth hiring. Instead, you're starting a locked screen wondering if anyone actually prepared for you to show up. This is on you, manager. Okay. You've got to make sure this does not happen. Work with IT ahead of time. Okay. Get the accounts created. Get the permissions set up. Here's the key. Actually test the login before day one. Don't just assume IT got it right. Test it yourself. Okay. When when your new hire sits down at their desk on day one, everything should just work immediately. No troubleshooting. No, that's weird, it should be working. But it just works. You know what? Maybe some of you don't have something like that with your IT team. May I highly suggest that at some point in the very, very, very near future, you have a meeting with your IT team to see what it's going to take to make this happen. Okay? Because as a leader, you have to see problems and call them out. And that's a problem. Maybe it's never dawned on IT to have this. Or maybe somebody's wanted to do it, but they didn't have the nerve to stand up and say it. Have the meeting. Get this set up where your new hires can step in day one and have access to everything. And it will change how you onboard.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

So I want you to have a plan for day one. Okay. Don't just hand them off to HR, tell them, you know, see you after lunch. You need a plan for their first day. And you, manager, need to be a part of it. Maybe the morning is HR orientation. That's fine. Okay. They've got to do all that compliance and benefit stuff. But after that, you take over. Okay, take them to lunch. Or have someone on the team take them to lunch. Introduce them to the key people they'll be working with. Walk them through the workspace. Show them where everything is. And at the end of day one, check in with them. So, how are you feeling? Any questions so far? Anything that you need? Make them feel like they actually matter to you.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Because hey, they do. All right.

Weekly One‑On‑Ones That Matter

Co‑Creating The 30‑60‑90 Plan

Teach Culture Through Stories

Buddies, Cross‑Team Intros, Clear Metrics

SPEAKER_01 16:13

Let's talk about the first 90 days. Okay, this is where you're you're really setting the foundation for whether this person is going to succeed long term. And the most important thing you can do during this time is your weekly one-on-ones. Non-negotiable. I know. You're thinking, Kobe, I'm already stretched thin. Weekly feels like overkill. Can't we do bi-weekly? No. Here's why. For a new hire, weekly one-on-ones are critical for three big reasons. First, they're an assessment tool. Remember, last episode when we talked about hiring for humble, hungry, and smart. Well, the first 90 days is where you're making sure you actually hired that. Okay, weekly one-on-ones let you catch issues early before they turn into six-month problems that you can't fix. Second, they're a relationship-building tool. Okay, this is how you build trust with someone new. This is how they learn they can actually come to you with questions or concerns or challenges. If you only meet with them once a month, they're never going to feel comfortable being honest with you. And then third, they're a course correction tool. If something's not working, if they're you know confused about expectations, if they're you know struggling with something, if there's, I don't know, maybe friction with a teammate, you need to know about it. Like now, not three months from now when they're frustrated and checked out. So what should you actually be talking about in these first 90 days? You know, here's what I would focus on. First, their team. How are they connecting with people? Are they are they building real relationships? Are they eating lunch alone every day? Are there any team dynamics or struggling to navigate? Okay, this tells you whether they're actually integrating into your culture or whether they're feeling isolated. Second is their goals. What are they trying to accomplish right now? Okay, what do they need to learn? What do they want to focus on? This keeps them oriented toward real progress. And they're not just showing up and checking tasks off a list. And then third, it's their development. What support do they need from you? Okay, what feedback would actually help them? What's, I don't know, still still confusing or unclear about how things work here? This creates a culture of coaching from day one. Okay, you're not just their boss, you're actually invested in helping them succeed. And by the way, if someone shows up to these one-on-ones with just status updates and no questions, that's kind of a red flag. It means they're not really engaged. They're not really thinking critically about their work, they're just checking boxes. Hungry, humble, smart people, they come to one-on-ones with questions, ideas, and self-awareness about where they need help. Or you know what? Maybe they came from a culture where that wasn't safe. It wasn't something they felt they could do. You need to make sure they understand that this is the kind of culture, this is the workspace where they can. All right. Here's something important. I want you to create a 30, 60, 90 day plan with them. Okay, notice I said with them, not for them. A lot of managers create a 30, 60, 90-day plan, hand it to the new hire on day one and say, here's what you need to accomplish. And look, that's I guess it's not terrible, but it's not it's not great either, because it's your plan. They didn't have any input, they didn't help shape it, so they can't really be bought in. Instead, create that plan together. In your first 101, say something like, hey, I want to work with you to build out what success looks like in your first 90 days. What do you think you should focus on? What do you want to learn? What do you what do you want to accomplish? Let them contribute. Then add your priorities and your expectations. Okay, now it's a shared plan. Now they can own it. They helped create it. That's a completely different dynamic. And then I want you to celebrate early wins. Okay, and don't wait until month three to acknowledge what they're doing well. If they handle something effectively in week two, tell them. If they navigate a tricky situation well in week four, call it out. Okay, this builds confidence. It reinforces the behaviors that you want to see more of. And it makes them feel like they're actually on the right track. People need to know when they're doing well, especially when they're new. All right. Here's where most onboarding completely misses the mark. Somewhere in week one, someone hands the new hire the employee handbook, or they sit through some PowerPoint presentation about the company values. New hire you know nods along. Integrity, collaboration, excellence. Got it. And they learn absolutely nothing about what is actually. We like to work here. My friend Dan Collard says it perfectly. Culture can't just hang on the walls, it has to walk the halls. And he is exactly right. You can put your values on posters all over the office. You can write them in beautiful calligraphy in the employee handbook. You can talk about them in orientation until everyone's eyes glaze over. But if you if you actually want someone to understand your culture, to really get it, you have to show them through real stories. Tell them about the time someone on your team went above and beyond for a client when they really didn't have to. Tell them about the project that almost completely fell apart, but the team rallied together and somehow pulled it off. Tell them about the person who made a big mistake, owned it completely, and turned it into a real learning moment for everyone. These stories, they they teach culture in a way that slides and handbooks just can't. If you tell a story about someone staying late to help a teammate who is struggling, you're saying that's the kind of behavior that matters here. That's what we value. If you tell a story about someone admitting they didn't know something and asking for help instead of faking it, you're saying, hey, vulnerability and learning are valued here. We don't expect you to have all the answers. Stories make culture real. Do you hear me? Stories make culture real. They make it tangible, they make it something people can actually see themselves doing. So please, don't just hand them the handbook. Look, the employee handbook is not culture. It's policy. Handing someone the employee handbook and expecting them to understand your culture is like it's like showing up to a poetry class and getting handed a dictionary instead. Sure, the dictionary has all the words, but it doesn't tell you how to use them to create something beautiful. It doesn't show you the rhythm or the tone or what actually matters. That's what the handbook is, a dictionary of rules. Important? Sure, but it's not the poetry of your culture. Policy is important. Okay. People need to know the rules, the benefits, how things work, but policy, policy doesn't make someone feel like they belong. Stories do. Real conversations do, actual human connection does. So yes, give them the handbook, but also give them the stories, give them the context, give them that lived experience of what it's really like to be on this team, to be a part of this team. All right. Here are a few other things I've seen great leaders do. Assign a team buddy, okay, not their manager, appear. Someone who's been on the team for a while and can answer all the dumb questions without any judgment. Where's the bathroom? How does the coffee machine actually work? What's the deal with Friday afternoon meetings? But here's the key. Don't just pick whoever's been there the longest. Okay, pick someone who's actually a people person, someone approachable, someone who remembers what it was like to be new. If your longest tenured person is amazing at their job, but terrible at making people feel welcome, you are defeating the whole purpose. Okay. The buddy needs to be someone who actually builds connection, not someone who makes the new hire feel even more anxious. And then set up cross-functional coffee jets. In the first 30 days, have them meet with people from other departments for a quick 15-minute conversation. Tell me what you do. How does your team interact with ours? What should I know about working with your department? This builds context and relationships way beyond their immediate team. And then clarify success metrics early. Okay, don't wait until their 90-day review to tell them how they're actually being evaluated. Tell them up front, hey, here's what success looks like in this role. Here's how we'll know that you're on track. Clarity reduces anxiety, and it is absolutely paramount to increasing performance. All right. Here's what I need you to remember from this episode. HR is fantastic at what they do. Okay. Let them handle the paperwork, the compliance, all the stuff that keeps you out of legal trouble. But they can't onboard someone into your team. They can't build belonging that's on you. So stay in contact before day one. Send those intro videos from your team. Build some excitement so they actually feel wanted before they walk in the door. Make sure their workspace is ready. Make sure their tools and access actually work on day one. Nothing should be, you know, we'll get to it next week. Do weekly 101s for the first 90 days. Talk about their team, their goals, their development, and make it a real conversation. Okay, not just a status update meeting. And teach your culture through real stories, not just slides and handbooks. Share examples of what actually gets celebrated around here. Because here's the thing, Dan Collard said you know, culture can't just hang on the walls. It has to walk the halls. Don't delegate onboarding to HR and then wonder why your new hire is struggling by month three. Own it. Be intentional about it. Make it personal. Your new hire will absolutely feel the difference. And so will your entire team. Around that same time, also I struggle with this one because it's going to be quite the work. Planning to launch the YouTube version of this podcast. Now, if your organization is struggling with onboarding, retention, or building a culture of accountability, again, I would love to help. I work with organizations through keynote speaking, executive coaching, and leadership training to build people-first cultures that get results. You connect with me on LinkedIn or visit my website, and both those links are in the show notes. And hey, if this was helpful, please do me a favor, subscribe to the show wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Share it with another leader who's about to bring someone new onto their team. And remember, keep staying in contact with your new hires. Keep building belonging, not just processing paperwork. And keep owning the onboarding experience. And you know why? Because those are the things that leaders do.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Thank you for listening to Things Leaders Do. If you're looking for more tips on how to be a better leader, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and listen to next week's episode. Until next time, keep working on being a better leader by doing the things that leaders do.