Diary of a Working Woman
Passionate, hard-working, fearless Educationalist, Psychologist and mother, Johnette Barrett talks to a selection of working women who have gone through many challenging experiences, often having to undergo many conflicting roles. Johnette unravels the secrets of being a successful woman in today’s world.
Diary of a Working Woman
Stop Whining, Start Winning: 7 Habits to Leave behind in 2024
Imagine celebrating love amidst the mesmerizing backdrop of Cape Town, from an all-white yacht party to a vineyard ceremony that illuminates cultural richness. This episode invites you to join me on a reflective journey, sparked by my stepdaughter's wedding, to explore transformative habits that promise a brighter 2025. As we embrace the new year, the importance of setting boundaries and letting go of people-pleasing tendencies becomes a focal point. It’s about safeguarding our energy and prioritizing our well-being to cultivate a life brimming with happiness and self-love.
Shifting gears, we confront the shadows of regrets and negativity, advocating for living in the present and aligning with our true goals. The episode underscores the significance of surrounding ourselves with positivity while building a vibrant community online. By connecting on platforms like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, we aim to strengthen our supportive network by 2025. Join me in this empowering narrative on "Diary of a Working Woman," and let's embark on a collective journey of growth and ambition, nurturing a future where dreams are not just envisioned but realized.
A new podcast in which Johnette Barrett, educational psychologist, seeks out inspirational working women who have transformed their lives and that of others through their courageousness and compassion.
The conversations that follow are sometimes eye-opening, sometimes heart- breaking and sometimes humourous.
Diary of a Working Woman (DOAWW) is hosted by Buzzsprouts .com.
Email: diaryofaworkingwoman@yahoo.com
Instagram: doaww podcast
Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2227789
Welcome to the Diary of a Working Woman podcast. I'm Jonette, your host On this podcast. I'll be speaking to women from all walks of life, of different ages, and the thing that they'll have in common is that they will work in some way or another. Their stories will be motivating, inspiring, empowering. I just know you're going to enjoy it. Please follow me on Diary of a Working Woman to receive all the latest episodes. Tune in. Hi, I'm Jonette from Diary of a Working Woman. It's great to be back. I've been away for a few weeks, but I've got a good explanation for that.
Speaker 1:Over the new year period, end of Christmas, new year of last year, I had the privilege, the absolute privilege, of attending my stepdaughter's wedding. It was amazing. She had a wedding with a lovely hubby, monique and Dennis big shout out to you. They had their wedding ceremony in South Africa. So it was the first time I'd visited Cape Town. It blew me away, not least because of the lovely, stunning views. But the gorgeous weather it's their summer time, makes a change to the winter blues in England, but it was just stunning. The landscape, but the, the extent that this couple went to to put on this wedding was just out of this world. So, first of all, they had a pre-wedding all-white yacht party. If you've not seen this, head to my instagram page now, diary of a working woman and have a look at some of the footage, because this all-white yacht party was just amazing, against the backdrop of the Victoria the V&A Victoria now, but Victoria V&A waterfront, where there were yachts, people from all over the world. You had the culture, you had the African dancers, singers. It was just amazing. And they managed to get together their family, their loved ones from all over the world, who just wanted to come and celebrate the love that they have for each other. Isn't that really special, the love that they have for each other? And the yacht party was just the beginning drinks, champagne, flowing entertainment, they were djing the vibrance, the vibrance I will never forget. It was electrifying. And that was followed by a amazing, beautiful wedding um, um, on a vineyard in the countryside. So we went to a place called franche I hope I'm pronouncing that properly. I think it's franche um, it was like it's picture, perfect this. We stayed on this complex where there were thatched roof cottages, just mountains in the background. The vineyard for the wedding itself was on a lake and it was just stunning. The pictures are stunning, the people were amazing and everyone, as I said before just made the extra effort to celebrate this dynamic couple. They were doing amazing things and I know, I know that their future together is going to be bright. So thank you both from the bottom of my heart for the invitation. I will never forget it. It certainly is up there in my top three weddings of all times.
Speaker 1:Anyway, things move on to today. So today, guys, I'm going to be talking about seven things, seven things to leave behind in 2024. I know we're already 20, what is it 24 days into the new year? But I've been reflecting and I've been thinking, as we do at the start of a new year, what am I going to do differently this year? So this is about seven things to leave behind in 2024. And I hope some of it will resonate with you.
Speaker 1:So, first of all, people pleasing. I don't know if you're like me, but I love people and I've said it over and over and over again. But sometimes that love for people means that I put people before myself and I will. People call me up and ask me to do things, book things, go places, and sometimes you know you really don't want to go, so you really don't want to do things, but because you're that compassionate person who likes to empathise and I don't know, maybe there's a downside to this. Maybe people pleasers have got low self-esteem I've never really considered that for myself, but maybe that's at the heart of it. Maybe it got low self-esteem I've never really considered that for myself, but maybe that's at the heart of it. Maybe it's low self-esteem, maybe they just need that validation. But whatever it is, guys, just think about it.
Speaker 1:How much time do you spend pleasing other people? Even if you just asked in a phone call, you see the number come up and you see the name. You think you know what does this person want this time? How long am I going to be on the phone? What am I going to be green to that I really haven't got the time to sign up to and I say this to you a little challenge set some boundaries. Set some boundaries.
Speaker 1:Don't have to be a people pleaser all the time, because you can't please all the people all the time anyway. But you know, set some boundaries because all that time you're spending investing in other people and pleasing them. And don't get me wrong, you know because obviously when you do things for others, it can make you feel happy and wanted and important and useful, and those are all great qualities. Probably haven't got to give, but you give them anyway because you're generous or what have you. But people pleasing can really drain your mental and physical capacity to just be there for yourself, so there's nothing left for you. So I challenge you in 2025 to not people please so much. So that's the first thing I'm going to leave. People pleasing back in 24 doesn't mean that I don't love you guys. It doesn't mean that I still won't answer your calls and do things that you ask me to do occasionally, but I am going to be putting some boundaries around my time and how much I'm giving over to you so that I've got more time to invest in myself and do the things that I want to do that are going to make me personally happy. Okay, so people pleasing the next thing I'm going to leave behind in 2024, petty arguments. So petty arguments with a loved one, for example.
Speaker 1:Do you find that you know, if you've been in long-term relationships in particular, that you just go round? You know, if you've been in long-term relationships in particular, that you just go round and round and round in circular arguments. It could be one thing in your relationship, couldn't it be Something that happened many years ago, that someone just won't let go, and whenever you have an argument, there's the deflection. It will come up again and then you're going round and round and you're just not coming to resolution. No resolve, there's no conclusion. It's just something that you do.
Speaker 1:And why do we do it? Do we do it because we're just not listening to the other person, or we are partially listening but not really hearing what the issue is? Because you're so fixated on your own response, your own emotional, your own emotions, your own feelings around that subject. And, quite frankly, I'm bored. I'm bored of having circular arguments about the same thing. It's irritating, isn't it? So what can you do differently? Petty arguments, what can you do differently? You can actually stop them. You can stop them. You can make a conscious decision not to entertain it, to just take away the importance of that subject.
Speaker 1:If you've gone round and round and round and round in circles and there's no resolution, because maybe the other person, the motivation isn't a resolution, the resolution, maybe the object of that argument for them is control and manipulation. Control and manipulation, because surely, if there was a resolution that could be made, you would have made it, wouldn't you? But no, sometimes you go round and round in arguments because you, like, you're just not listening to each other. So make a conscious decision. And then the next time you're having an argument and your partner or it could be a friend, a close friend deflects and brings up that one thing that really sets you off, that really gets your blood boiling. Make a conscious decision to breathe and brush it aside. Breathe, brush it inside or just cough, cough it away. Do not acknowledge it, do not rise to it. Don't allow you to Just that cautious, positive feeling that I am not going to get involved in this subject anymore because it doesn't serve me any good and it certainly doesn't serve you any good. And it's small, it's petty, it's ridiculous. Just whenever the subject comes up, ignore. I challenge you to do that. Ignore it, walk away, change the subject, find something else to do. But don't get embroiled into that petty argument, because you'll be doing that for the rest of your days or as long as you are friends or in partnership with that person Yep, our friends or in partnership with that person Yep. Leave petty arguments that are circular and go round and round back in 2024, where it belongs.
Speaker 1:Third one whining, whining, whining, whining, whining. We all whine. I whine, you whine. You might whine about your job, whine about your partner, your relationships, whine about your children. But whining is draining, it's negative energy and it drains you from a personal level. I tend to whine about my job a lot, and when I'm whining about my job, it's not because I don't like my job. It's because it's taking me away from things that I also like, that I'd like to spend some time doing those other things, but I just haven't got enough time. There simply aren't enough hours in the day. So, instead of whining, guys, do something about it. Be decisive.
Speaker 1:Let 2025 be the year that you say I don't want to hear myself whining about this anymore. I'm going to stop moaning. I'm going to stop moaning to my partner. I'm going to stop moaning to my children. I'm going to stop moaning to my friends because, believe you me, when you hear yourself moaning over and over and over again, you can bet what your friends and your family are thinking, thinking oh my god, here she goes again. Here she goes again. What would you tell your best friend who was in this situation that they're in this negative cycle, like the hamster and the or the gerbil and the wheel, and you're running around and peddling, peddling, peddling. You can't get off it and it's just you know. You just don't know. You just do not know what to do. You just whine and moan, but nothing changes. So let 2025 be the year that you stop moaning. So what can you do?
Speaker 1:I'm very much into journaling. Write it down. If you don't want to write it down, I'm good old fashioned me. I like a bit of pen, a pen, a bit of paper, and I like to write things down. But have a plan Somehow. Have a plan. Have a plan of how you're going to get out of the cycle that is causing you to just feel less than you should, because it's not going to do you any good.
Speaker 1:Just feeling that you're constantly whining about things. It's miserable, right. So I get a paper and think right, what is it that is causing me to feel this way and how can I change? Write it down. What is the one thing? So an example could be right. I'm spending eight hours a day working at my desk, and that eight hours is just a conservative guess, because on average, it's more like 10 hours and really I want to spend more time with my friends. I want to spend more time at the gym, I want to spend more time learning a new skill or something. You just haven't got the time to do it. So just put down what you can do differently to stop you. Put down what you can do differently to stop you from getting further and further in that hole.
Speaker 1:Because you're in a hole, a very dark hole, if you're constantly whining about something and think about times where you have been able to bring about change in your life, because there will be times you have got resilience, there are times where things have not gone so well and you have found a way to get out of it. So you know it's about self-development. Perhaps Just read some books or, if you're not into reading books, watch some YouTube videos. Talk to a friend, but make a conscious decision again to stop whining and to do something about your situation. Write it down, have some goals and, you know, keep yourself accountable. Maybe find someone who can hold you to account for it. Yes, this year I'm going to do X and I'd like you to be the person to check on me every now and again. Call me how far are you getting on with achieving those goals?
Speaker 1:Have you stopped moaning? Have you made that change that you've been looking to do for a very long time and then have a reward for it? Have some sort of reward so that when you find yourself moaning less, you can even get yourself a moaning diary. Get a diary and every time you moan, you know, you write it down, a bit like the swear jar when you swear, you put a pound in the jar or what have you. This could be a moaning journal, a moaning diary. Every time you moan about something that you don't like in your life, write it down. Then you can really see my goodness, I'm really unhappy. I'm moaning. You know, 50% of my day is spent moaning. So do something about it. Write it down, have some goals, get some support and do things differently. So, whining, keep that back in 2024. Don't need it.
Speaker 1:The next thing I'm going to talk about is really something that's close to my heart Wasting money. Wasting money, we waste money on all sorts of things I do. So I, you know you might buy things that you, you know will bring you short term happiness. It could be that pair of that new boots that you've seen could be a new bag, a Jimmy Choo bag or what have you that you've had your eye on for a long time, you know. But you're spending money and you're accumulating things that really have no long-term value or long-term purpose. I can talk about my shoe collection. I've got well over 100 pairs of shoes and when I've looked at it, I probably wear about 20% of them 20%. What am I doing with the other 80% of my shoes? Nothing. They just sit in a box looking pretty, and I think maybe one day I'll have an event to wear them to. So with that money that you'll save from just spending money on frivolous things, you can do something. Pay for a course that you've always wanted to do. It might be a cooking course, it might be a wine tasting course, it could be just I don't know saving money for a rainy day, helping a relative out, helping an aging parent out. But stop wasting money on things that you don't really like, and when you declutter your home, you declutter your mind, and then you can start really thinking about things that are important and that will have long-term value for you. Yep, just stop wasting money.
Speaker 1:The next thing I'd like to talk about is regret. We all have them, don't we Regret? Sometimes we can spend a lot of time just thinking about the things that we've regret what we would have done, should have done, could have done, didn't do. Leave it in the past. It's not going to help you now. You know, back then was the time for you to do something about it. Now it doesn't really matter for all that matters is the present, today and tomorrow. So leave regrets in 2024. Focus on today, tomorrow and how you want to live the rest of your life. Practice being present, notice the things around you today. Be in the present moment and I promise you you'll feel more energised, more alive, more focused, more determined, and that maybe that little bit of self-doubt that you had that keeps dragging you back to the times when you should have, would have, could have, that self-doubt will hopefully just dissipate. So don't keep having your head in the past and full of regrets. Grab life by the horns, grab it, grab your chance now.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is you want to do, that you haven't done, that you should have done, that you could have done, do it now, if it's that important to you. Make a change, make a decision and make it happen. I challenge you to do that. Make it happen. Whatever it is that you've got in mind, make it happen. Stop regretting things. Leave that in 2024.
Speaker 1:I'm nearly at the end. I got two more things from my seven, so I'm on number six, and my sixth one is, my goodness, other people's agendas. Other people's agendas, other people's agendas. So I don't know, do you ever get calls from people and they've got the next big idea about something, something that's going to make you a lot of money, a ton of money, something that's going to make you slimmer, something that's going to make you healthier, but it demands something from you. Maybe you need to part with a bit of money. Maybe you need to join a training program, maybe you need to watch some training videos, maybe you need to go to presentations, but at the heart of it is other people's agendas.
Speaker 1:If other people's agendas don't align with your current goals, your current ambitions, then really, really think about whether or not you need to spend any time on it If it's not going to take you any closer, bring you any closer to your own goals, your own dreams, your own plans, and say no, no, thank you. Thank you for thinking of me. That was sweet of you, considerate of you that that is not the journey that I am on at this particular time in my life and I need to focus on me and my goals. Now you get some really persuasive people, you know, and I've got lots of persuasive friends. I've been in that shoes where I'm trying to persuade others to follow my agenda, you know. So it does happen. But have the confidence to say not today, thank you, but no, thank you. I know what my values are. What you're telling me about maybe may not align with your values, may not align with your personal goals. So leave other people's agendas back in 2024 and focus on your own dreams, your own ambitions.
Speaker 1:And finally, I'm going to talk about negativity. So negativity could be negative people as well as it could be just negative thinking. Those people we try to swerve them. We know them, we see them coming, don't we? You share something with them. Then, all of a sudden, it's all no, that won't work, because or I tried that, but this, my friend's mother did that 10 years ago and it didn't work then. It's not going to work now, or you know why. Are you trying to lose weight? You don't need to, you're fine.
Speaker 1:You know, people who come with negativity, are not really thinking about you. It's all about themselves. I'm sorry to say, but negative people often have low self-esteem and really they just are focusing on themselves. They're not really thinking about you and what you want. You know negative people. Leave them behind. Try and surround yourself with people who are going to uplift you and inspire you and support you.
Speaker 1:And the negative thinking and I can fall prey to this sometimes sometimes we can just be our own worst enemies, can't we? Then self-doubt, the self-saboteur. You know that voice in your head. You can't do it. What makes you think you can do it? You've got an idea to start what business really? Where are you going to find the time? Who's going to support you? Don't you need money to start it up? You know all these negative things. The last time you tried to start something oh, look how that ended, oh dear. No, no, no.
Speaker 1:To stay on the status quo is better to stay in the safe lane. You know what you're doing, you know what you're about, but sometimes you've got to be happy, brave, be brave to break away from what you've always done or what you always did, because, of course, what you've always done and what you always did, you're going to get the same results right. So sometimes you just got to stop yourself. When you feel those negative thoughts kicking in. Just stop it. Just stop it.
Speaker 1:If you've got a goal, you've got an ending. You want to do something. Arm yourself with the resources to achieve that goal. It might include some self-development. You might want to read some books. You might want to attend some short courses. There's loads of self-help courses. Everything that you want to learn actually is online now, isn't it? Lots of online courses, youtube videos. You can learn yourself. Find a mentor in the field that you want to go in.
Speaker 1:But be positive. Be positive, believe in yourself. If you can believe in yourself and your abilities, then guess what? You can sell anything, can't you? You can sell anything Cliché selling snow to Eskimos. You can even do that if you believe in yourself. Keep negative people and negative thinking in 2024 and focus on self-belief, self-confidence, going after your goals, no matter how old you are. You can achieve it if you put your mind to it, plan it, organise it, get people around you who can support you and just strive to be the best person that you can possibly be. And the process. Remember to be happy because, at the end of the day, happiness is where it's at.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to this episode of Diary of a Working Woman. I would really like to hear from you about your thoughts on my seven things that I want to leave in 2024. I really want to, please, please, please leave your comments. If it's people pleasing any stories you've got about people pleasing whether or not it's petty arguments and the arguments that you have and what you've done that has changed that course of action. If it's whining, you know. If it's if it is wasting money, you know. If it's regrets, if it's other people's agendas, negative thinking, negative people I want to hear all about it. All about it. Please, please, please, interact with me, share your ideas and let's grow together. Let's learn together ladies and any gentleman that might be listening and let's really empower and uplift each other this year.
Speaker 1:Follow me on YouTube, on Instagram, you can see me on TikTok, but please, please, please. I want to grow this community. I need your support. Um, and yeah, that is it 2025, watch out. Thanks for tuning in to diary of a working woman. I hope you found this episode as motivating and uplifting as I did. Please follow me at at. Do a podcast on TikTok and Instagram. For now, I want to say bye, bye, and keep striving to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, wearing all the many hats that working women do, sending you love.