Mastering Emotions: The Brain Science You Need to Know

The chemical components of our thoughts and emotions shape every aspect of our lives, yet we rarely understand how these invisible forces operate. In this profound exploration of emotional intelligence, Dr. Paul Dyer breaks down the science behind our feelings, explaining how thoughts create frequencies and waves that trigger chemical responses throughout our bodies.

Joining the conversation is psychotherapist Jeannie Johnson, founder of Love Psych, who brings her clinical expertise to expand our understanding of mental wellness. Together, they challenge conventional wisdom about self-care, moving beyond superficial practices to discuss how meditation creates new neural pathways that free us from outdated survival mechanisms.

One of the discussion's most provocative moments comes when they reframe how we view love itself. Rather than seeing love as quantifiable—something we give more to some relationships than others—they propose love is fundamentally the same regardless of who it's directed toward. This perspective liberates us from unnecessary hierarchies in our emotional lives and opens new possibilities for connection.

The conversation takes an unexpected turn when examining intimacy as a form of self-care. Physical connection, when approached with genuine emotional alignment rather than solely for pleasure, can release tension in ways other practices cannot. However, both experts caution that misaligned intimacy can become harmful rather than healing.

Perhaps most powerful is their reframing of Black mental health discourse. Instead of accepting narratives about brokenness, they encourage seeing communities as "building"—acknowledging challenges while recognizing the remarkable resilience and excellence that flourish despite systemic barriers. This shift from deficit-based to strength-based thinking of

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:17

what's going on out there, everybody?

Speaker 1: 0:20

It is ron brown lT, the People's Fitness Professional. My co-host isn't here right now. He will be on in approximately 30 minutes. Dr Paul Dyer just was on and he's out now. I don't know what happened exactly, but he will be back on.

Speaker 1: 0:40

Today we're talking about unlocking the power of your mind, the science of emotional intelligence, and we have the brother, dr paul diet, back. What's going on, brothers? How you doing today? You hear me, you hear me. All right, dr paul diet doesn't hear me right now. Okay, now he hears me. Still doesn't hear me. Okay, now he hears me. Still doesn't hear me. Still hear me. Yep, not yet, not yet. Check, check, check, check, check.

Speaker 1: 1:14

Well, today we're talking about the science of emotion, unlocking the power of the mind. Dr Paul Dyer is on today and he will be on every 7 pm Monday evening, pm Monday evening. Also, keep in mind, we have brother Kujo, who we do podcasts with at eight o'clock. After this one, however, that one will be posted on Saturday. That one will be posted. So look for Kujo every Saturday at eight. No, sorry, look for Kujo every Saturday, I think, at 12 or whatever the flyer says. I have a flyer up there a marketing flyer. You guys I hope you're checking it out. We got Awareness Daily on the check-in Peace Awareness Daily and whoever else that is watching the live show right now. As I said, we're talking about the emotion, the science of emotion. Unlocking the power of your mind now the science of emotion. Unlocking the power of your mind Now the science of emotion. I want you to explain to the people, dr Paul Dyer, what is an emotional scientist exactly?

Speaker 2: 2:15

So I study the chemical component to a thought, I study the physiological component, all the physical attributes to a thought. That's an emotional scientist. That's an emotional scientist. So, because I've studied neuropsychology, because I'm into brain science, which is the study of the brain, but I am also into cellular science, cellular biology, so I want to study the chemistry and the chemistry wave particles of the brain and why and how it does. So I apply my physics because I'm also a theoretical physicist to the brain like it is space. To understand that science of a thought, now, the simplest way is that we know thoughts have frequencies and waves. Right, it creates Words, create Vibration, creates. So that's where the emotion, that's where the scientist comes in to really explain how it is with its lower form of things. Yeah, it's not just like I believe in your thoughts and I care about your feelings and I want you to open up and right, right.

Speaker 1: 4:18

So now, now you're talking about the uh chemical responses. Uh, that come from thoughts, right? That's like the reactions, the reaction that your brain gives, excreting chemicals throughout the brain and body from the actual thought. Now you say in waves come from that thought as well, correct?

Speaker 2: 4:44

Right, Because, yes, because that's how things. It's a signal. So everything that happens in your body they don't have. They have a cell charge because they have what you call cell towers in your head. That's what most people now know as their chakras, right? Uh-oh, I think here is Jenny.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Jenny Jenny Johnson.

Speaker 2: 5:05

Jenny, yes, hi, jenny Johnson right oh, I think here is jenny, jenny jenny johnson jenny hi johnson, so you're just gonna have to, you know, thank everyone from um new york perspective, but um miss johnson introduce yourself.

Speaker 3: 5:19

Hi, well, I'm genie, johnson. How is everybody today?

Speaker 1: 5:22

Good. How are you doing, jeannie Johnson?

Speaker 3: 5:24

Good, good for the clients. So I am a CEO and founder for Love Psych and I'm a psychotherapist in New York and Minnesota and here invited to the show.

Speaker 2: 5:38

Now, yeah, so I've been trying. She's very busy and I will say this she is my niece, oh she's your niece.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Yeah, hey, hey. Family affair, family affair. What's going on, niecy? Hi, yeah, what's going on Niecy?

Speaker 2: 6:04

Yeah, but because you know we have and I'll get back into. I was talking To them, jenny, about the science part about emotions. Right, we get Into retraining your brain and rethink and reprogramming. But I asked you on today in your Limited time because I know you're so busy In New York and you're ripping and running.

Speaker 2: 6:26

And I want people to really get a hold of you, because, along with you and other therapists, you guys are doing some amazing work out there for people who ask for help. Yes, right, absolutely yes, right. So I just want you to let people know how you're helping them in a way so they can sit, you know, in that little short.

Speaker 3: 6:52

Hello.

Speaker 3: 6:53

Yeah, yeah absolutely, yeah, sure. So you know I have a private practice. So I've been working for a long time in New York. I just started my private practice about three years ago or so. So a lot of my framework is one-to-one, but recently we've been expanding the brand and getting into more psychoeducational work for people who are very much motivated to care for themselves and to understand further the process of what it is to seek wellness, because it looks very different.

Speaker 3: 7:23

And when you talk about wellness from a systematic perspective because it looks very different and when you talk about wellness from a systematic perspective, it looks very uniform. So the hard thing about that is it means you know waiting oftentimes in a line and waiting to be assigned to someone and waiting to have someone be able to look on at you and look on to your situation from the perspective of a very cerebral clinical space where, when you learn more to take care of yourself, you start to understand more about how you tick, about your intuitive sense of being, about your intuitive sense and wellness. And so that's what I teach, right? It's helping people to look inward and really understand what grounds them on their own, what regimens they can create for themselves to treat themselves and love themselves well, and what ways they can use systems as an augmentation to that rather than a primary resource to that. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 8:23

Oh yeah, jenny. I mean you're so elegant. We look so raw compared to you. I know Ron and I were thinking maybe we ought to dress up.

Speaker 1: 8:33

I feel underdressed.

Speaker 3: 8:35

Tell me what's unusual to nothing.

Speaker 2: 8:39

No, but you know there is a lot of masculine work. Because men speak it, it comes off masculine right. So whoever our audience is and listening to this, we always really talk about the stuckness of black people, the stuckness of how we are really so broken as a community and broken within ourselves, and yet we just can't afford to get to a therapist like you. I mean, I don't know, you know it's just. That's the difficult part, and you know we have said many times or I've said many times is many of us have many times in a lot of these shows is that someone needs to just ask for help. Yes, and they don't know how. They won't, they can't. But if we don't, as black folk, we're going to annihilate ourselves absolutely, and I'll get into that later in the show no, I got you

Speaker 3: 9:32

and you know I think asking for help is important as well, because then you find out that people therapists like me are actually more accessible and that we create both pro bono funds where we no, no, you look, you look fancy.

Speaker 2: 9:44

you don't look like we can afford you you don't look like you would care.

Speaker 3: 9:50

I think the psychology goes beyond that and is worth that in some ways, because what I hear is I don't think someone like you would care about someone like me, and I don't think someone like you would even take someone like me on where it's like. No, I actually created an entire pro bono fund that people who are more well off give into they give gifts to that I utilize so that I can treat people who don't have enough money. I have men that I see for a hundred dollars a session instead of my $200 fee. I have couples that I see for a reduced rate, like us, who are in this position, who are in the helping profession, want to help and want to be available and want to be accessible, and so we make it a point to ensure that's true. Now, that's not true for all therapists by any means, but myself, as a black therapist who loves my community and loves those who look like me and who need that influence in the same way that I do, do make myself available to those individuals because it's important.

Speaker 1: 10:45

I have a question for you. So you know you were mentioning, you know about, you know taking care of yourself, self-care, so that seems to be like the main focus, or one of the main focuses of your program.

Speaker 3: 10:59

Yes.

Speaker 1: 10:59

So how do you go about taking care of yourself or loving yourself? Because in my mind, I think I'm pretty good at it, you know what I'm saying, but it it could come, it could be uh. Also, you know selfish. You know as well it could become toxic. So how how do you do? You? Are you saying a lot? Pardon me, am I right? Am I wrong? How do you see what I'm pardon me? Am I right? Am I wrong? How do you see what I'm saying right now?

Speaker 3: 11:27

I don't think you're wrong at all. I mean, I think some people have the understanding that self-care is very superficial, and so some of what they describe as well. You know, jeannie, I get up in the morning and I brush my teeth and I wash my face and I dress myself really nicely and maybe, if I'm a female, I get my nails done and my hair done. And you know, I um, I make sure that I always smell good and when I go out I look great and that's wonderful. Appearance is a great thing. It's a wonderful thing to take care of ourselves. Hygiene is very important.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Um, some people need to understand and hear that above other people.

Speaker 3: 12:00

Um, however, self-care is important in it means also self-discipline. It means also I am who I say I am. So if I say I'm the, type who is forthcoming and transparent.

Speaker 2: 12:18

That's how I exist. So here's the thing we were talking to a friend of ours and he came on the show, dr George Frazier, and he had said you know the family, you know the family core is broken. We are just shattered. You know there is no core, it's systemic throughout the region. But now we, if we say Black men need self-care, and they say this to a woman, it seems like selfish, selfish so how?

Speaker 2: 12:47

and then how can that be relayed to a woman in a masculine tone, when it doesn't need, when it doesn't, when it doesn't often get felt like it's? It's a power over system, but that's how it comes across.

Speaker 3: 13:04

I got you. So the understanding is I'm speaking to women from the male perspective, inside of a masculine form which includes something that is more from a man's perspective, direct, maybe more logical, maybe it speaks more from a space of like. Oftentimes it's provision, if I'm being honest. So I'm saying I need self-care, and what that self-care means is I need to be by myself, or what it means is I need time to rest or I can't be inside of that provision that I have maybe taken to be my own identity. So when I need a break from that, it feels like I'm being selfish because I'm not giving that part of myself that I told you that I would.

Speaker 2: 13:50

See, I want to add to that. I want to say, if you can express to a partner that you need self-care, explain what that care is Right. Explain what that self. If you're like, no, I just want to go chill by myself, that's not explaining to your partner that you're in self-care.

Speaker 1: 14:10

Right.

Speaker 2: 14:10

It just sounds like you want to be alone and that's okay. That's okay, but that's not self-care If you're talking about. You know I'm struggling with things because I think your partner still needs to say I'm here for you, but I'm here for you when you get ready with after your, you know what I mean. So explaining what your self-care is. So this way, when you tell your partner or a close relation I'm in self-care mode, it looks differently than something else.

Speaker 3: 14:40

Yeah, recuperation is a part of that right else, yeah, no, preparation is a part of that right. Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead and recuperate. Recuperation is a part of that. So, spending time in solace and in solitude, I mean spending time replenishing yourself as a part of that, especially when you are a man, who is a part of this mindset that my masculinity is encompassed by provision.

Speaker 3: 15:02

Provision is a is a very it's an action oriented space. Right, like I provide for my family, meaning I work, I do whatever I need to do to ensure that everybody's safe, that everyone's cared for. I spend a lot of my time, likely in company with other people inside of that space of provision. So when I need alone time to think, to unwind, to relieve tension somehow and a lot of people, a lot of men specifically work out they like to be very active even when they are inside of that space of self care and by themselves. Um, but that, yeah, I can see how the understanding of that would be that I'm maybe neglecting that role in some ways and so it's seen as I'm being selfish where it's not the reality.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Right, right Now. Can you give me some other examples of self-care? I know I would say therapy will be one of them, right?

Speaker 3: 15:57

I would say so, yes, and you know self-care, self-exploration, I would say meditation is a big part of self-care, huge part of self-care you know talking about I think Uncle Paul came on and said some things about talking about the, the science of emotions, Right, and sort of these elements of science include neural pathways that we utilize to make decisions right. We have specific neural pathways that we use very often in our lives, that we get used to using consistently, that sometimes they worked for us to get out of situations of trauma or they worked for us, you know, when we were overworking ourselves and pushing ourselves too far, and then we grow out of those spaces and we transition to newer, safer spaces and we still use those same neural pathways.

Speaker 3: 16:45

When we meditate, we open up new realms and new ways and visualizations and then using our brains to use new neural pathways for our emotional states and for the newer work we want to invite into our lives. So meditation is a huge, huge, huge thing that people need to, I think, learn more about and engage in more if they want to practice good self-care, and I think that's especially men who are especially cerebral right and tell me if I need to make that small for your audience.

Speaker 2: 17:15

No, no, you know, here's it I keep going back to. I know you don't have time because I know you've got a client patient coming in, and being prepared for your patient takes some space. It really does, and I know when I have back-to-back people coming in it's that space. Whatever I have to do, cleanse the space from before, cleanse who I was, my notes and all these other things for so long. How are we going to grow as adults when we're so unified broken?

Speaker 1: 18:09

I mean, I have an answer for that. Yeah, I think that, as a people, we need to make a flip mentally, because we're used to saying that we're broken. We're used to saying that we're broken, we're used to that we're hurting, we're used to saying that we're not doing this and we're not doing that. If we could you know positive affirmations, right, you know just just maybe saying that maybe we won't stay broken no more. Maybe, maybe, maybe we're not broken right, we're, we're just we're just building right, we're having it.

Speaker 1: 18:45

We're humans, we're going through motions, just like other humans are and, um, you know each human family. Their troubles are significant to their, their culture, their region, you know, etc. So you know, I think we're all going through things and we're not alone. And if we look at it from that perspective and get out of the mindset of saying that we are broken, we are struggling, we are going, we're from the hood, we're from the ghetto, uh, you know, you, we got to fight. We always got to fight about something. Maybe that's the mindset that we have often, that you know?

Speaker 3: 19:30

Black people are broken or that they're inherently accustomed to trauma. They're inherently accustomed to, you know, showing up affected and defective in some ways, and it isn't a truth. We are all people of all races, experiencing the spectrum of humanity, and the spectrum of humanity is such that we all experience some level of trauma. We all experience some level of harm. We all experience, you know, certain levels of defeatist mentality and barriers, and Black people have their specific kinds of barriers because there are systemic elements that exist that have worked against them for hundreds and hundreds of years. And it is a different type of truth, but it is all lived in the spectrum of humanity and we're all living it out and doing the best that we can and we are absolutely not broken or beaten or defeated and that is evident by the excellence that we see all over the world all the time in the name of Black people.

Speaker 2: 20:38

There's an uptick with with people getting seeking out mental health. I think it's people who are reaching out. Finally, what I have found in the uptick, it's the people who have been waffling. 10 years ago that's what I've noticed like people who have kind of. If you take a snapshot 10 years ago in their life, it was in that time they they started talking about it, yes, and, and now they're, they're reaching out. So we're talking to the people who might wait 10 years from now to do it. What do we say to them besides, don't wait. I mean we could say that until we're blue in the face, but I don't think our social curve is going to be able to take your 10-year wait to where we're moving.

Speaker 3: 21:49

So your hope is what can we say in order to give them a sense of urgency, so that they decide to take those steps now?

Speaker 2: 21:53

Right, Because, without being an alarmist, well, of course not. Yeah, I think. Let's say we go into a civil unrest in 2032. Yeah, right, if those people are waffling and they're waiting for the 10 years, they missed that chance in 2034 to be, like I want to get some help.

Speaker 2: 22:25

But now, in 2032, we're in shooting each other, we're harming it, we don't know where to lay our heads, we don't know who friendlies, or because my mind is still so. I needed help. Now, now I'm back in turmoil and fear and I needed help. I think now, now we now we're.

Speaker 3: 22:43

Now I'm back in turmoil and fear and and I think that's, I think that's the, that's the, the. What you're saying to me. The antidote for that is letting people know that therapy isn't just for crisis. Right, we don't just go to therapy because we're in crisis. A part of the reason that I suggest things like meditation are because I recognize, like I said, that we use certain neural pathways for survival. Right, there's a way that I needed to behave, there's a way that I needed to act, there's a way that I needed to show up in order to curve the effect and survive the effects of trauma and survive.

Speaker 3: 23:23

Therapy isn't just for survival, it's not just for for crisis, it's for being intentional and living life intentionally and seeing what exists for me in my current form. How do I exist in my current form, unaffected, uninfluenced by anyone else, unaffected, uninfluenced by anyone else. And then what can I exist? As if I do have some help, if I do have someone who can say hey, you know, actually I'm noticing you're doing this this way and you're hitting a lot of walls before you thrive, right, because that's true for a lot of Black people, right? The levels to which they are first off, just able to compete with other races as a whole and just able to show up excellently is like phenomenal to me.

Speaker 3: 24:03

The levels to which they are first off just able to compete with other races as a whole and just able to show up excellently is like phenomenal to me. The level of barriers that exist and the level of ways that they can show up and perform are just it's outrageous. Imagine what that looks like when you couple that with work where you're being much more intentional and maybe, instead of choosing those ways of being that were so complex in some ways, and someone actually feeling like they're loved Exactly what does that? How does that change things? And I'm going to tell you, as someone who sees it every single day it changes things in a big way.

Speaker 1: 25:04

I want to go back to self-care, right, self-care? We spoke about meditation, we spoke about working out, we spoke about, you know, having alone time and what are some other examples of self-care.

Speaker 3: 25:19

Absolutely. I think engaging in community is one of the greatest that I as far as a form of self-care. Being immersed in community and being immersed in support and being a part of support can be huge as far as caring for self. One of the greatest things that you can have in your life is being connected.

Speaker 2: 25:36

So my greatest one but this is delicate is releasing your erogenous zones.

Speaker 3: 25:54

Okay.

Speaker 2: 25:57

I don't want to say. The simplest way is what Dr P? It's sex, but it's not just Intimacy.

Speaker 3: 26:05

I heard intimacy.

Speaker 2: 26:06

Yes, but the intimacy has to be to release all the zones.

Speaker 3: 26:14

So like being aligned in your chakras.

Speaker 2: 26:19

Yeah, because that's what happens in intimacy.

Speaker 1: 26:23

Sure.

Speaker 2: 26:25

Things get released that there is no bike or no physical training. Okay, because of the way the body is a receiver and transmitter. This releasing in itself that's self-care. It's unimaginable what it does or can or has can do for you. But the problem is that if it's just, if your mindset really is I'm going to get off, then you do worse damage to both of the people involved.

Speaker 3: 27:14

Well, because that's not intimacy.

Speaker 2: 27:19

That is sexuality, but it becomes poison for the other person.

Speaker 3: 27:23

Well, and for yourself, right.

Speaker 2: 27:25

And for yourself more than if you did. It's almost like think of it more. I mean it's. It's so bad what it could do negative to you. It's like shooting heroin and then shooting more heroin. It's like you're you're gonna die, but you're gonna die, die right. I mean this. That's how negative it is if you're with someone and you're not aligned.

Speaker 3: 27:54

I think we all know. You know, maybe this is an unknown and maybe this is something just to talk about, and maybe Ron can speak to this as well. You know, when you're connecting with another person, you're opening yourself up physically, emotionally and whatever you believe, whether you believe in the chakras, whether you believe you're in religiosity, whether you believe in the physiological exchange of biological material, whatever it is there is no longer just you, and when there's no longer just you, it means you are taking in the entities of someone and something else. So if you are not aligned, if you do not feel a sense not aligned, if you do not feel a sense of connection, if you do not feel a sense of it doesn't have to be longevity, so to speak, but it does have to be a sense of heightened importance and significance and care for the experience. Yes, it is going to be detrimental, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 28:48

Now to take things back to self-care. You've explained, uh, a few things. Now you were getting ready to go into something else besides self-care. What did you have, anything else that you were going to speak on?

Speaker 3: 29:04

oh, yes, well, I was talking about, I think I I was talking about community in some ways, as I was talking about what it looks like to connect, and I think that oftentimes in our society, what we talk about when we talk about connection, or what we think about when we think community, is what can be done for us and sort of what elements of community and resources we can siphon for ourselves versus prepping ourselves to be good in community, versus prepping ourselves to be good in community, versus prepping ourselves to be good in connection. So there's a big difference between me wanting to be in community because I want friends, right.

Speaker 3: 29:38

I want, like, good family. I want people to be supportive of me. I want them to understand me so that when I need help they're available, and in prepping self to be that for others. So being mindful and vigilant about what those in your life need, listening to hear what specifically resonates with those who you're in community with being a resource, which means pouring into yourself right, educating yourself, nourishing yourself so that you can be a resource for others to tap into. I would say you know people like you, obviously very educated people people like my uncle, very educated understand the nuances and complexities of community and understand what it means to be, to be a part of the greater good.

Speaker 3: 30:28

And being a part of the greater good means I have an understanding of systems. I analyze systems, I look at them and I look at those complexities. I take that in and then I make it palatable for other people who don't do this professionally right. I make it something that they can eat. I make it something that they can understand so that they don't have to. I make other people sort of breathe easier in me educating myself, but I always bring it back. So wherever I go, however far I go, whatever rooms I end up in, whatever awards I get, I also I still bring it back and congrats on your award.

Speaker 2: 31:03

Because I did not get to say that to you face to face, so oh, thank you, thank, thank you.

Speaker 3: 31:09

But you said something you said.

Speaker 2: 31:11

She said some really small. I hope people didn't miss it. But there's two types of community. I mean of how you could be in community. You could just allow community and be a part of it. You don't have to be so much of everything, but to be part of it it means to align yourself with that. I mean, that's just, that's, it doesn't. And you don't look at aesthetics. We got to stop thinking of how aesthetically we visualize things and saying you know, I don't want to live next to this park, this, whatever. But the community is more, it's people, it's not material, right? See, if you can see the smiles in your area, If not, create one, you know, create that smile, just someone you notice probably so often that you never have to have to say hello to. But there's a friendly gesture. That's community still. And when you allow yourself and that's what took me off into intimacy with a partner or however you see it, is that it's part of that alignment.

Speaker 2: 32:25

When you think about self-care, it's actually putting all things into an alignment. It's not as far tentacle-ish as you might. People might think it is like oh, I play softball. No, that's part of the physicalness that needs to come into your core. Well, I, I read that's, that's a tentacle to you, cerebrally coming. You're still pulling everything in intentionally into alignment. If you do all those different things, that is the self-care. I think, ron, you're talking because it aligns it all.

Speaker 1: 33:04

Okay, got you, got you. Now I want to go into the founder of Love Psych. Now. Why Love Psych Now? Why Love and Psych?

Speaker 3: 33:13

Oh, why Love and Psych? Because love is the key to all things and relationships and love are just one of the pillars of the human perspective and the human experience. And psych, obviously, because my specialty is in therapy and I was trained in psychiatry and I've worked in it my entire life and I have. I have a reverence not only for its history and the both the good and the bad of its history, um, but also for for how it has transformed and has arisen as something so powerful and as a tool of such growth for so many.

Speaker 1: 34:00

Now I want you if you can explain love and community. Okay, so, pardon me, I don't know why that's happening. Oh, you're fine. Okay so love, right. So there's a love between you and your partner, and there's a love between you and your friend, love between you and your mom, dad, siblings, et cetera. What are the differences in the love?

Speaker 2: 34:29

See, and I don't. Yeah, I have to jump in there before there's a difference, but to me there is no difference. That's all I got to say. People are like. Let Jenny answer that.

Speaker 3: 34:41

We are aligned. There is no difference. I do not see a difference in the love, in those perspectives. Actually, I find people live in a deficit. Because they think there is and I think it's why they have this heightened degree of of a sense of urgency and, um, a longing for romantic love is because they haven't recognized that all of those loves of family, of friends, of self, of cetera, are the same.

Speaker 1: 35:13

But wouldn't the love between you and your partner be different from you and your siblings or parents? And I'm saying that because of the physical connection? That's a different interaction, right, it's a different interaction.

Speaker 3: 35:31

It's not necessarily a different love. It's you looking to make love quantifiable, right, and it's the way many people live their lives, right Looking to make love quantifiable, looking to make love something that is measurable in some ways and something that is meant for comparison. People say this all the time Well, you're supposed to love your spouse more than you love your, your family, or more than you love your mother, or you're supposed to love your, your spouse, more than you love your kids? I've heard this argument like, like, perpetuated all the time, when, in all actuality, love is love.

Speaker 3: 36:06

Love is an entity that we're all, we are all perfectly capable of made of, made from. We carry it into every room that we go into. It's the light, it's the smiles, it's the joy, it's all of those things that you express. It's living in purpose, like on purpose. I think people, when they want to make it quantifiable, they say things like you know, the way that I love my mom is somehow supposed to be distinguished from the way that I love my partner, when, in all actuality, it is just in the interactions. The interactions are different, right, I'm obviously there's a physical way of being with my partner that I'm not going to be with my mother or with my father, son or whoever else.

Speaker 1: 36:55

Right, but. But I would say, um, aren't there levels like the deepness? You're still stuck on but some people, some people okay, so like, so like I would say, I would say I love. I would love certain women More than other women. You know, what I mean.

Speaker 2: 37:22

So again, when you love, you love. You're talking about Now how to To another Say that again. So You're talking about now how to to another Say that again no-transcript. Or how I show my love to my child. That's how I multiply or make love to my child. I'm making more of love to my child so he brings me his dad or whatever dad. Right, that's my child, that we're making it together. Does that make sense? Okay, so my love is the same for all who I touch. I make it differently with them. If you love, you're going to always make love. How you make love to a thing is different and I think people get stuck on comparison to the car, to the wife, to the mother-in-law, to my mother, to my brother. You're all different people. I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything.

Speaker 2: 38:45

I'm not going to do anything with my child. I'm going to do with my mate. I personally, I personally, but that doesn't you know. But love is, love is. That's why. That's why she said love is it, love is.

Speaker 3: 39:01

I think you're talking about the differences in ways of expressing love and interacting and connecting in love.

Speaker 1: 39:08

I'm talking about feeling.

Speaker 3: 39:09

Yeah, you're like my feelings of love would be deeper or higher, or conceptually there's some quantifiable difference between the way that I love my son versus the way that I love my wife, and that's what I'm talking about. Is I need to have some measurable sense of it. I do love, someone said free of possessiveness. I love it Really pretty, really good.

Speaker 1: 39:35

Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so psych Now, what are your credentials in that realm? And you said you studied that your whole life. I mean, what was your journey like? Where are you from.

Speaker 3: 39:49

Well, I'm originally from Minneapolis, minnesota. That's my hometown. I live in New York now. I moved to New York when I was 17, 18 or so, and being a student my whole life just means. I grew up and I live on the spectrum of humanity right and until we decide on our professions and on what we want to do for our lives, we're students of life, so we're gaining experiences and understanding people and relationships from the time we're yay high. So I say my whole life because it's literally I believe it has been my whole life.

Speaker 3: 40:21

Now, concentrated study includes when I became an adult, obviously. So I have a bachelor's degree, a bachelor's of science degree in psychology. I have a master's degree in advanced clinical practice social work with a specialty, like I said, in advanced clinical practice. So it means practicing in therapy was always the goal. Healing was always the goal. Practicing in therapy was always the goal. Healing was always the goal. You have to then become licensed in that field specifically, then be independently functioning and get another license in that context and then you can be licensed wherever you want to be licensed. So now I practice independently, but I spent my entire career, for the most part, in hospitals, so I worked a lot with people who were in the highest degree of distress. You'll see, the highest degree of distress means I'm unable to now live on my own, like I can't be inpatient. So inpatient care is like in hospital for some people. Some people it's inpatient at like partial hospitalization, so sometimes I'm in a very structured environment.

Speaker 2: 41:35

She works in the crazy ward.

Speaker 3: 41:38

They used to call them psych wards, now they call them units. I know, yeah.

Speaker 3: 41:43

They now call them units, right. So I used to work there for many, many years. I stopped that, yeah, like three years ago, four years ago so I could pursue my private practice and start to see people who were deciding on care versus people who there was. No, there wasn't any decision any longer Like. The decision for the most part was just you know, I can't function on my own, I need help and I need to spend time away from the community.

Speaker 1: 42:15

Okay, so you said you worked in a hospital and you were dealing with people who were under high stress and different situations, scenarios, and how would you service them, how would you bring them back to life, so to speak?

Speaker 3: 42:32

Sure. So there was a lot of well. First off, it's evaluating them. You know, being that first step to care is giving an evaluation, helping them to understand what's going on with them. You know, many people are in crisis and I think that they recognize there's something really wrong that's happening. But until they sit down and talk with you and talk through what's actually happening to them, they really haven't necessarily even begun processing what's happening for them.

Speaker 3: 42:59

I've had so many people who they knew life was out of control. But until we started to have a conversation about how life was out of control and what exactly was happening and I helped them get a better understanding of the symptomatology, they were pretty confused as to what was going on with their lives and some even very resistant to getting care because they're like everything's fine. Meanwhile they just lost their spouse. They haven't gotten out of bed in three weeks. They haven't washed themselves, bathed themselves in that amount of time. They've lost significant amounts of weight, you know, and they're just like everything's good, I'm fine. Well, you know, maybe not.

Speaker 3: 43:37

So the first step in that was just helping them to process what exactly it was they were going through and helping them realize that this situation has become untenable. The second steps to that are enacting, then a treatment program. Enacting, they have room to make decisions as to whether this is the right element or that one is the right element versus where it's sort of like. You know, this is non-negotiable. This is something that we would need to see happen. Especially when you're in a hospital, there are much more stringent rules around. You know how someone has to present in order to be discharged from the hospital, so so what?

Speaker 2: 44:28

so this, this is going to, so this is what's going to help people. So what she does on that part, I can teach you the science of how your cells are at you, the science of how your cells are at, how they're activating in that crisis or in in your process that she brought you, that she met you at. So I get to, I can see the science I could see. You know the brain chemistry, I could you know the body's chemistry, that? So that's where my specialty comes in, with emotional science and how it affects the different organs in the bodies. And, yeah, gotcha. So, yeah, does that make sense? Cause? So when people come to her, they're in a crisis. I can tell you what the brain is doing in that crisis. Right, I can see how the different the, the, the things are blocked or things aren't transmitting or things are not firing the way they're supposed to, and then so, yeah, so self-care brings you back to the balance. Part on a fit, on a, we go outward part and then an inner balance.

Speaker 2: 45:42

Yeah, physiological, and then yeah.

Speaker 1: 45:45

So, let's, let's have a little fun real quick. I know you, I know you have to go. Let's have a little fun. So, me, I'm your patient, I'm your patient and I'm your patient. Dr Paul, okay, you're working together with me, okay, now I am a person who wants to be, uh, basically a prominent figure in the so-called black community, and I want to also do it while making a lot of money, because I know me having a lot of money. I can also help the community. So I'm like working myself like a madman, and all day, every day, constantly, and I feel like I have to do this every day, all day. Can you explain what that's about there? Every day, all day. Can you explain what that's about?

Speaker 3: 46:42

there, Jeannie? Oh, sure, I mean. I think over-functioning, hyper-functioning, is generally a hallmark of individuals who feel deeply insecure and who often overcompensate many times in their lives. So I might assume things about you that are something that might be accustomed to your upbringing. So maybe when you were growing up you were taught that being productive was like the only way to be. You already had some mentality about money and being valuable and how the ways in which you can enact change or help people is only through being rich right and having a lot of money right, which is that only through being rich right and having a lot of money right, which is that's not a reality, right? That's a cognitive distortion that you built at some point that created for you this idea that if I don't exist in that certain way, then I can't be valuable. So money, productivity, all of this equals value, value, and so I'm overworking, over functioning, in order to create the veneer that I'm a worthwhile person so now, when you kind of wait, dr paul dyer hold on, let's hold on no, no, because because you're still the same patient, she's got to go so oh, it's okay, I'm eight o'clock

Speaker 2: 48:01

okay. So what I, what I would do, is give you a workup to do. I would talk to you and certain ways you answer things lets me know what parts of the brain you, what part of the brain you're using. So that would be how my intake form would look. Right, so different. Right, so different things that you say. By me talking to you, I'm looking at some physiological signs of what is firing, what isn't firing, what is slow and things of perceptuary. Right, so that gives me. I start mapping your brain off of a conversation. Now, the other part is I could a scan too, just on different things, but that would be just in the office, and then what I get a rundown after our conversation and your conversation with Jenny, and put together the chemical map of what your body's doing with the conversation you're having.

Speaker 1: 49:02

That's the workup okay, so this is what I'm what I'm trying to get to is she's she's already, uh, said her piece as far as, like where she would think this is all coming from my drive to be a leader and and make money as such. So what would you say, being that, like I work a lot, what part of the brain and chemical responses do I get from doing all this, having this type of lifestyle?

Speaker 2: 49:35

again for me. I I need to find out where it's coming from. Like, like, like. You're already thinking it right. So what are the parts of the brain that isn't being used? Why is it digging so deeply in that part of the brain? Where does it connect to?

Speaker 3: 49:54

gives me a history of the beginning of where this originally started from I mean, if you're, I would say, and maybe this is something that you could speak to as well, kapal, you know, sometimes people when they have these issues with self-worth or when they have the issues of, like, wanting to be high achievers, there is a reward system that they achieve based on having greater accomplishments. So some people, I mean based on having greater accomplishments. So some people I mean, if we're talking about, like, neurotransmitters, neuroreceptors, in the brain right.

Speaker 3: 50:28

Things like dopamine and serotonin are often fed whenever we are accomplishing. So you know someone who gambles a lot and then, like, has a big payout, or someone, the way people are attached to their phones and attached to like receiving any kind of like, positive messages, likes and follows and things like that on the phone, Like these are things that when you're living your life inside of a reward system and looking to maybe climb the ladder like this very high achieving person you're describing would be, some of that achievement could maybe come from that kind of space, or it could come from a reward system such as dopamine overload types of systems. I mean he would have to know and understand your psychology further, obviously, to make those connections, but I mean there's so many things you could assume in those cases.

Speaker 1: 51:18

Right, I think, me personally, I'm not uh, not to say I'm not, I'm not cocky or anything like that, I'm, I'm not insecure really about anything, right? Um, my thing is, I think is more environmental, is like so I grew up in harlem, so in harlem, in harlem, we learn a lot about Black history and we learn a lot about, you know, just being industrious.

Speaker 3: 51:50

Oh, yes, absolutely. I mean, that's like our culture. Yeah, I mean, your environment is like Renaissance. Right, that's the historical context of Harlem. I think Renaissance, but when I think Renaissance, I think literature, I think poetry, I think Renaissance. But when I think Renaissance, I think literature, I think poetry, I think art, I think, and none of those types of professions that had huge impacts on community made lots of money. So the idea that you developed somehow and I didn't know this was you, who was our prototype, our study here, but now that the cat's out of the bag.

Speaker 3: 52:18

Okay, sure, you know. I think the fact that you develop sort of this attachment to money to me says there's something beyond just this idea of being industrious, right.

Speaker 1: 52:31

There's poor. I grew up poor.

Speaker 3: 52:33

Okay, I just, I just make it. Yeah, okay, I got you and that's okay. Right, that's all good. I grew up poor, single mom raised. I got you, I'm with you there. But also we know the secret, which is, even when you grow up poor, you can still do great things. You can still do big things.

Speaker 3: 52:56

I'm not afraid of ever going back to being poor, because I know that I can survive that and I can thrive throughout that. It's not part of my makeup. To say that I need to be rich in order to be valuable, in order to touch community, is it a great thing, is it a bonus? Absolutely, will I likely be rich? Will I likely be wealthy? Absolutely, in that the abundance that I know, that I have and I seek already exists within me. You already have these resources, right. You already come from this background where you've created something out of nothing like that, that type of, that type of enterprising means. It's on its way, it's already you, so I got. I got what you're talking about. But when that's what I'm seeing in the psychology just based off a precursor right, just based off these little nuances of of you right, and um, uh, we got cameland wars in the building.

Speaker 1: 53:49

Everything is within. That's more of a science. Yeah, that's peace. That's peace, um, if, if you have any questions in the chat, put them in the chat right now. Um, so, now, um, I mean I don't have any more questions.

Speaker 2: 54:02

I mean no, I'm so glad, jenny, and, openly and publicly, I'm so proud of you and all the things you have done and will continue to do. You're just a bright, shining star, like all you guys, though, but you guys are all doing your thing, man. It's awesome.

Speaker 3: 54:19

Love you. Thank you so much. Thank you for inviting me. I'm sorry it's a little late getting out of my session, but it has been such a pleasure.

Speaker 1: 54:27

So now tell the people who like social media is how to reach you and things like that.

Speaker 3: 54:32

Sure. So, first off, you can reach me on Instagram. I'm for love and psych. At for love and psych, you can reach me. I have my own website. It's wwwforloveandpsychcom. It's getting revamped so it'll soon be much more automated, but it's there so you can link with me that way. You can link with me on LinkedIn. I'm Jeannie Johnson, lcsw, mssw. You can reach with me via email as well if you are old school and it's info at forloveandpsychcom. Or you can just give me a call, 914-875-2417. And that is my office and my work phone, so feel free to reach out that way as well.

Speaker 1: 55:18

Yeah, fellas, don't blow a phone.

Speaker 2: 55:21

Oh, that's okay. She probably gets a ton of that anyway, I do unfortunately, but it's okay, don't get your feelings hurt?

Speaker 3: 55:28

I don't, I don't get right.

Speaker 2: 55:30

Right. She still knows how to ball them up, though, so don't get twisted listen, it never leaves you.

Speaker 1: 55:39

Yes yes, thank you guys for coming out this evening. This was great, dr Paul Dyer, because we need it. We need a woman. We have, like the whole podcast is men.

Speaker 2: 55:55

I mean it's not bad.

Speaker 1: 55:57

I love the guys.

Speaker 3: 55:58

Love that yeah.

Speaker 1: 55:59

Love the guys, man, but you know, some feminine energy, we needed that. So and and plus, she's educated, she's great as what she's what she does and, uh, she, she has a lot of experience as well.

Speaker 2: 56:10

so you know, that's a plus and I still the one thing before we we have a little bit more time is that we're still. We're gonna to keep breaking down, reprogram the brain, reformatting what you think we ask, because the only way we're going to move forward together in this civic society that we're facing is that there is a pitfall? There is no. I need to wait till later, because later is now Right. So I know some people could be doomsdayers, some people could be all kinds of myriad of things in between, and Black people gamut them all from the mountains to the area. But the one thing we still have significant problems with, and that is unifying within ourselves to be with others.

Speaker 2: 56:59

And that is that alignment, that's that community alignment. So if you have a hard time aligning yourself, even with yourself and with your partner, it's going to be tough for you to help us build the community we need you to be part of.

Speaker 1: 57:16

I like that, I like that. Well said, well said. That's a great way to end the podcast. Thank you guys for stopping by. I really appreciate you, dr Paul Dyer, jeannie and we are out of here. Peace you.