Rewiring the Matrix: The Illusion of Rewards and Punishment

Dr. Paul Dyer takes us deep into the neuroscience of discipline, challenging everything we thought we knew about rewards and punishment. With piercing clarity, he dismantles the commonly accepted belief that corporal punishment can lead to positive outcomes, explaining how our brains process discipline at a neurological level.

The conversation uncovers how conditioning shapes our behaviors far more than we realize. When parents say "you brought this on yourself," they create a framework where children believe they're responsible for how others treat them. This conditioning follows us into adulthood, affecting our relationships, career choices, and self-perception. Dr. Dyer explains how punishment physically impacts the heart, liver, vagus nerve, and prefrontal cortex—creating lasting patterns that limit our potential.

Most strikingly, Dr. Dyer reveals that 95% of our brain functions subconsciously, meaning the vast majority of our behaviors are habitual or programmed. Without conscious examination, we continue operating on scripts written during our early conditioning. Those who claim success resulted from harsh discipline are often simply following programming rather than exercising true agency—comparable to developing an eating disorder after being fat-shamed that keeps you thin but at significant cost.

The discussion moves beyond criticism into practical solutions. Dr. Dyer suggests becoming a "detective" of your own reactions, creating space between stimulus and response. By questioning what others are trying to elicit from you and why, you can begin breaking free from automatic responses and reclaim your agency.

Ready to examine the foundations of your thought patterns and emotional responses? This episode provides the neurological framework to understand your conditioning and start the challenging but

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Peace and greetings world. This is your brother, mikey Fever. Nyp Talk Show. We have our special guest, our good brother Dr Dyer, in the building. He will be talking about the science of the brain. We're going to get into many facets of this conversation, talking about discipline, joy, brain process and everything else. The good doctor will be back. He just fell off for a second. He'll be coming back. Forgive us for that. Hope everyone's having a great time. Had a good day. Wherever you are. Dr Dyer, I'm going to let you back in the building. He fell off for a second.

Speaker 2: 0:59

Yeah, we have that. I think the FBI doesn't want you people to know what I know, I don't know, I don't know. They keep every time the show starts. It kicked me off. So, brothers peace, sisters peace and peace and love man.

Speaker 1: 1:16

How you doing, doctor.

Speaker 2: 1:17

Good, good, you know. You know we've been talking about the brain for a while and I't look at the emotional picture of things. I have been through things. I have a personal emotion on a personal side to things, have a personal emotion on a personal side to things. I understand. So there is some type of relation to what people say, but scientifically there is I wouldn't say there's a negative, positive. So I think when people hear science they're always looking to someone to affirm them or to deny them Right. They think that's what science does. Science doesn't confirm or deny, it just explains. It just explains. It just explains the origin of what it is Right, of what it is Got you Right. We, us scientists, like to study the origin of things and how it has moved through and where it is going and where it could go, yeah Right, and also what it has done. That's a science.

Speaker 1: 3:27

Yeah definitely Observations, yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:30

Right. So when people think, well, could science tell me this? Well, I don't know. I'm sure someone has looked into it, but maybe I haven't Right. I study behavior also. I'm a behavior analysis for different people. I study behavior also. I'm a behavior analysis for different people. I study behavior. Studying behavior uses my neuropsychology to understand how did the behavior develop? What is the effect on the person? What is? The effect on the person. Yeah, what is their, how they're using the effect and what's the outcome.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Got you.

Speaker 2: 4:15

Right, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 4:18

So you're just basically studying the processes of things Input, output. Right Got you the processes of things input, output right got you and I do that with human behavior.

Speaker 2: 4:30

I do that with human performance because one of my masters is in movement kinesiology. So when I worked with athletes I looked at them like a science that they are, what it is that I see in front of me. What is the input? I probably don't get more input until later, but what I see, what their movement is like, what is the how they're moving along and then break it down. Moving along and then break it down what could be better?

Speaker 1: 5:14

What needs to be taken away completely and what's causing a negative drift. So the question is with that, with respect to that, how does that go into disciplines, the science of discipline?

Speaker 2: 5:25

How does the brain react to the science of discipline? So I think I want to explain that, because I think the first thing many Black Americans and many people who have been utilized by corporal punishment getting their butt beat right we automatically look at discipline of something that was done to us.

Speaker 1: 5:58

That's true.

Speaker 2: 5:59

Okay. So if it was done to you, you never asked for it, no matter how many times you, as a parent, may have said or maybe the parent has said you brought this on yourself, right, because I gave you a parameter.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Yeah, you crossed the line.

Speaker 2: 6:20

You crossed the line Exactly.

Speaker 1: 6:24

And the punitive measures.

Speaker 2: 6:26

So now you brought this on yourself Exactly solidifies the damage it does but actually oversimplifies the horrific damage it has done. Because, if we look at the wording in itself, I told you you didn't do it, so now you caused yourself punishment. And here is your punishment, whatever it is. So the person who doved out the punishment has no stake in it technically, has no love in it technically, has no love in it technically, has no hatred in it, technically has nothing to do with you as a human person. Because all of this, what you're getting from me, you triggered from me.

Speaker 2: 7:44

You triggered See you can't dislike what I'm doing. You have to dislike what you've done because you're the one who is beating yourself. It's just through my hands.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Sounds like a form of conditioning.

Speaker 2: 8:07

Thank you.

Speaker 1: 8:10

That's what it is. It's a condition, it's a condition.

Speaker 2: 8:16

So okay, well, someone says well, we got to have rules, there's a line. Well, we got to have rules, there's a line, we'll stick with the parental idea, ideology of corporal punishment, you cross the line.

Speaker 2: 8:33

You told you what you're supposed to do. Here's the beating. Okay, since I'm beating you, well, you're beating yourself through my hands. That means this has nothing to do with love. This has nothing to do with unlove or anything to do with you. You're determining your own conditions of how you are being treated by yourself. So when you lose a job, if you raise corporate punishment, if you lose a job for whatever reason, it's actually your fault, isn't it, of course, according to that corporal punishment conditioning, yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:30

Wow yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:35

So the brain holds on to those conditionings with the way they fire their neurons, and those conditionings now spike different parts of the brain, the pleasure center. Right, we talked about that center part of the brain.

Speaker 1: 10:01

before it doesn't know what that is.

Speaker 2: 10:03

Right. So now it looks for those spikes of how it wants to be treated good or bad, because nothing triggers a stronger response than a negative response.

Speaker 1: 10:26

Say that again.

Speaker 2: 10:27

Because the negative response gets so much attention. Physically, right, let's look at it this way A negative line that I gave you, a parameter you crossed. It gets more attention because now I noticed it, it was noticed, now you're going to be beaten forward, which spikes your dopamine, serotonin and all those endorphin levels. It sends a signal to the brain going I am remember. The brain doesn't have a picture, it doesn't know that I came home late. This is why my mom was going to beat me or my father was going to beat me, right? It doesn't have that story. It just has the reaction to being beaten.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Okay, I see where you're taking this, wow.

Speaker 2: 11:37

Well, jump in there, mikey, You're a smart guy.

Speaker 1: 11:41

I see it's like you're saying the intention, the strong energy that it emits from those sensors. Yes. So it sounds like to a point where this can create another condition in a human being, as if a sadist. Yeah, as well as pain, I've got the word, the word for a person that pain, I've got the word the word yeah, but yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:05

But those things like so I I lost my girlfriend, my friend, my boyfriend, I lost something right or something pulled away from me and whatever, that's all my fault. So that's that negative thinking behavior you've created according to your corporal punishment. So someone's giving you corporate punishment and it is just instilling negative thought behavior outcomes.

Speaker 1: 12:40

Got you. But how about on a positive side? Because you got people.

Speaker 2: 12:45

Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1: 12:45

Let's about on a positive side, because you got people.

Speaker 2: 12:47

Okay, let's go with a positive side.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Not positive. It's still corporate punishment, but they found pleasure in it.

Speaker 2: 12:53

Well, let's go with a positive side to where the greater I feel of not being beaten because I'm afraid of it. Yeah, I stay inside my parameters. So that means my thought process can never go outside the parameters.

Speaker 1: 13:17

So you're a prisoner.

Speaker 2: 13:19

Right, because if I go outside my parameters, I could be beaten Right, I could. Now. If something reveres itself as something of a better outcome, it has to be better than it's almost. Like someone said I told you never to go over there, but you found a pot of gold right.

Speaker 2: 13:48

So you come back home and, boy, where you been, I told you I went over here here, but I told you never go over there. How long does it have to come out of your mouth Before you say it? But I found a pot of gold.

Speaker 1: 13:59

The conditioning.

Speaker 2: 14:00

Yeah, I'm scared, I'm going to get beaten, but let's hopefully this, what I found, will over supersede that. I'm about ready to get beat.

Speaker 4: 14:14

So are you talking about conditioning Over super C that I'm about ready to get beat? So are you talking about conditioning based on negative past experiences?

Speaker 1: 14:26

No, just just being hit, like as far as with the whole discipline, the concept of discipline, so the negative yeah, so people look at this.

Speaker 2: 14:32

And when we first? Yeah, so people look at discipline. When we first started out, people look at discipline, as the first thing we take is parental discipline. Like probably many of us, we've been hit or spanked or belt-punched, punched.

Speaker 1: 14:48

Punched right I mean knocked out. Yeah me, my pop used to right hook me. Old jokes are like yeah, he mean knocked out. Yeah, my pop used to right hook me. Old jokes aside, yeah, he used to get right hooks.

Speaker 2: 14:59

Yeah, the terminology of the person saying well, you crossed a line, the line I set up for you. You crossed it. So this action you caused in that causation, I have no personal measure in it. You crossed the line, so now you're going to be beaten by my hand. But you crossed the line, so this pain you chose it.

Speaker 2: 15:35

So what I was telling Mikey and everyone else in the global world, corporal punishments never worked, never works at all. And so Mikey had asked what happens when there's people that have positive outcomes in their lives when they have been beaten. Well, they have still in their lives, I am positive. They were hesitant Of leaving parameters. Unless you're getting older. You say, well, I can stretch out my little thing. It doesn't happen as much as it ate, but I bet you happens a little bit more at 16. You know, I can stretch my little something a little bit. I moved out, I'm 26. Right, so there's still terminology. As I come home, maybe for a dinner or so, and I say what have you been up to, son? Well, I've been doing this, I don't know about that. So now I get that disapproval by my parents, I don't know if I want to continue the conversation got you yeah right, because with that disapproval he may not hit me, but he might mentally, yeah, mentally yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:51

On another level, he might I don't know Get a few pops in him. Who knows, he might hit me, you know. So I may not say too much. So look how stagnant you have to live your life and start segregating how you're living between who you're living, how you're living between who you're living. So you start to de-evolve because your life was based off a conditioning level in certain spaces. This is also why black athletes don't do well in leadership positions. Depending on how they're raised, they could do something very well if you tell them what to do Go left, go right, jump up, crawl under, sit. They could do that really fast. They could pick it up really quickly. But if you ask the black athlete try to figure out how to do a couple of those things, last about 10 seconds out there, then go sit. They will be stuck.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Got you, got you.

Speaker 2: 18:07

Because the conditioning you live in a corporate punishment household. You take directions. You cannot think on your own. This is also why the kids that have their crazy spans in the stores are less melanin than we are, and you're like man.

Speaker 2: 18:29

That's such a bad kid, but he's allowed to assert his feelings. They just happen to be in a negative space outdoors, but I learned how to do that with my kids. If you're going to flop down in the middle of a grocery store, I just make sure that you have your space. I'm not going to bother you. You're not going to hurt yourself. You're not going to hurt yourself. You're not going to hurt others. You're not going to hurt materials, Otherwise rock on.

Speaker 1: 18:56

I agree with you, mr Dr Dyer. What you said is so profound because, growing up in a household, there were times my mother would have guests over. They used to ask the questions. Like I don't hear your children, my father said you will never hear them. Children should be seen, not heard. Right, oh my?

Speaker 2: 19:15

God. Yeah, this terminology used forever Still used today.

Speaker 1: 19:19

Yeah, and I remember that like he didn't like we could play, but he didn't like like if we got too rambunctious. Right. He'd just come out and give a look or just stomp his feet one time and the house was silent again, because he didn't approve of that. He didn't like noise. That was a condition for me growing up. I had to break out of that shell to be vocal.

Speaker 2: 19:43

Exactly. Yeah, at one time there was a unopposed navigation you had to do and you had to ask yourself am I going to be what I need to be, want to be for me, or am I going to stay in the condition I was wrought with?

Speaker 1: 20:10

Yes.

Speaker 2: 20:12

Right, because the action of the origin of discipline actually comes from the Latin word meaning pupil and student.

Speaker 1: 20:23

Disciple.

Speaker 2: 20:25

Disciple Right, but when it changed to being corporal meaning a physical punishment, because I've done some training that was not considered a punishment, it was considered training. You take it differently mentally Sitting in a certain martial arts stance for hours, crying and falling to my knees and hearing the tap of the bamboo stick getting back up, that was discipline, right, right. Kneeling on rice for hours.

Speaker 1: 21:21

I've been through that. Oh my God, the cheese grater, right, right.

Speaker 2: 21:30

You know, that thing of what do you think pain is? You know, is not to make you immune to pain, it is not to make you forget pain. But which pain processing are you processing? Are you? Are you, is the pain processor because you want to be doing something else, period? Or is this pain process something you just have to go through so you could break out to being something you are building for yourself? Totally different? That's why in corporate punishment it falls back into. There are ways to teach the slave how to be a slave right. Willie Lynch taught us that the beatings of certain types of people and the non-beatings right, Giving them so much leeway that why would they not want to leave?

Speaker 2: 22:37

right, you can go have your babies for the next five years we'll let you live your life and and I'm missing a cup of coffee I'm taking nose skins and nose skins, you know I mean. So there's different ways of manipulation of the brain and the body for punishment. And beating while it's a bad, you can only do it to a small, collect few. That's why homeowners or households can still do it, because if you had a family of 10 and you're beating all your kids, that won't last too long. I'm just telling you now don't try it.

Speaker 1: 23:22

That's crazy.

Speaker 2: 23:24

Don't try it.

Speaker 4: 23:27

So we're on rewards and punishment. Yeah so now punishment. When you're punished, you know I want to just take out beating just like reprimanded, and you're constantly reprimanded. What part of the brain does that affect?

Speaker 2: 23:54

Of the reprimand with the punishment.

Speaker 4: 23:57

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:03

Who what where why? Who what where why?

Speaker 4: 24:38

Who is doing it? What is the reason for it being done? Where is this being done, right? So, who, what, where, how and how is it being done? And, and based on those that would determine exactly what part of the brain it affects, is that what you're saying? Yeah, okay, so let's say if, uh, um, I'm being punished by, let's say, my dad for Okay, so now I'll tell you right now where it affects.

Speaker 2: 24:55

It affects your heart and your liver, that's in the organ issue.

Speaker 4: 25:04

It affects the travel of the vagus nerve and it attacks straight into the frontal lobe, where you do your critical thinking, part of your critical thinking so it attacks the heart, which would affect, in traditional Chinese medicine, like the spirit, the shin right and then the liver, dealing with anger right, and then the vagus nerve dealing with the stomach.

Speaker 2: 25:34

Yeah, actually, it's the longest nerve in the body, so it actually you can feel throughout the whole body. So if your POPs is hitting you, which is the reason why it also affects your heart, it affects the way you have a difficult time connecting with love, right, yeah, so you have a very limited limit of trust.

Speaker 1: 26:07

It's okay, it's all right, you're good, you can take the class?

Speaker 2: 26:11

No, but you're limited on trust, so you're limited on trust. So you're limited on trust. That means, if you're limited on trust, your stress hormones rise or they are higher than normal on average. So that means your cortisol levels up. That means hypertension, blood pressure. So this is how it affects, if once it affects the heart directly, just by a parental. Many neuropsychologists and people who do behavior science and things like that, you know there's a thing called the that builds a cycle like a cycle killer. It's, it's the triad. It's. Is it your mother? Have you been? Your mother abused you or your parent abused you? Mostly mothers. Have you been your mother abused you or your parent abused you? Mostly mothers. Have you killed, being harmful to animals? Right, yeah, and oh yeah, bedwetting as a young person? Hmm, yeah, if they're young, but if they're older, in their 20s, they're very shy, so they don't feel comfortable around other people at all. So that shyness is part of that triad.

Speaker 4: 27:48

Wow, that's deep, man. Can you say that one more time? That's deep. Can you say that one more time? That's crazy.

Speaker 2: 27:54

So it's to try it for behavior. When you have a parental punishment, negatively it affects your heart, your liver, your vagus nerve and your prefrontal cortex. With that it can produce at a young age, very young. Under the age of eight and nine you have the triad that lets you know if you're developing a psychopath. So you have your first kill, harmful to animals, urinating in bed and let's see that third one again Urinating in bed.

Speaker 1: 29:14

That's good. I didn't have the urinating in bed you run, I sure did.

Speaker 2: 29:30

The animal thing, yeah, I I was.

Speaker 2: 29:32

That's not, yeah, oh yeah, and parental and parental harsh disobedience. So parental harsh disobedience, urination and um urination and harmful animals. As you get older, past in the teen years, you'll still have harmful interactions with someone you considered a leader in your eyes, someone who was of guidance, someone who was of guidance, and then the next one would be shy. The person would just be quite shy and then the other person will still be harming small things without other people noticing it or at least dreaming about it. So they're producing it. It's just a matter of time, wow.

Speaker 1: 30:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:24

Wow, yeah, damn, and that's corporate punishment. Now Mikey asked me what happens if there's a reward to it. Like someone is successful, like someone blah, blah, blah, billionaire says man, my mama used to beat me all the time and I'm so thankful for it because I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that. Basically, it's like having an eating disorder because you're afraid of being fat Just because you were fat when you were a little kid, and now you will never be fat again because you have an eating disorder. That doesn't make the eating disorder good. Your correlation between why you're successful now or how you got through things now because you got your butt whipped, doesn't hold water. You couldn't make it make sense to you, couldn't make it make sense scientifically, emotionally. Of course, all your reasons are going to be clear and clarified and it will make definite sense to you. But as you write it down for me, scientifically it will never make sense, it will never correlate. I'm just telling you. That's why I said in the beginning Mikey, right, this science has nothing to do on emotions or what I personally think of this. It is just what it is chemically and what it triggers physically. That's just what it does.

Speaker 2: 32:17

Yeah, gotcha, if you are a brain surgeon or a teacher, because your mother kept you in at a certain time, didn't let you do this, made you hit the books hard and all that other stuff, and this is why you believe you're successful. You've missed so much that you personally had to do, which is why their actions control you, which means it was negative. That means someone has programmed you and you're not the doctor they are. You're not successful. They are. You're not the slave master, they are boy. That boy picked some good cotton. Well, I trained him that way because when he was small I made sure I cared for him. I made sure I beat it. I beat him right this way. Now look how much he's yielding.

Speaker 1: 33:15

Got you. So basically it wasn't cultivated, it was enforced.

Speaker 2: 33:19

It was enforced. Cultivation takes time. It takes an input from the, from the other, it takes the nose. I don't like that. Not you're going to do what I say, but I know you don't like that when you have the time. Of course, a lot of this is time management. You may not like this, but can you do this for me and then we'll talk about what it is that you feel you don't like and explain that reason to me. Because where did you, depending on the age, where did you get the term? You don't like this? So they must have compared it to what. Because not liking something is straight comparison. If you don't know what the person's comparing it to, how does not liking something make sense to you?

Speaker 2: 34:18

something makes sense to you If you're just going to say, if you're just going to say I just don't like it because I don't like it To not be so offensive to people, right now you're being controlled by something other than you, and we've talked about that before. When you want to rethink, reprogram, understand how you are moving in your life, then you will have an input and you will know what you know. Just saying, eh, it's just because I just don't. Well, can you explain why? Well, now I get defensive, defensive. I don't have to explain to you. This is just who I am. What are you? All of a sudden? Now I attack you somehow Verbal attack, verbal attack, right, and this is what I do. And I walk off and you're like, wow, I was just trying to understand, because you didn't explain anything. I know more about my mama out of your mouth than you explaining why you do what you do. You told me all about my mama.

Speaker 4: 35:45

Now, we spoke a lot about punishment. Now, what about rewards? How's that? How's that work?

Speaker 2: 35:50

So that's what I was telling you about. There is no reward for you. There is no reward. That's what I was telling you about. There is no reward for you.

Speaker 4: 35:57

There is no reward, because the person who trained, you gets the reward, not you, okay, well, what about when someone has an incentive to win a trophy, has an incentive to win a lottery?

Speaker 2: 36:18

You know, just so, who designated the incentive. The person that designated the incentive becomes the hierarchy in what you're really trying to please. I get it, so it's the outside stimulant, basically most of the time it's like I want to lose weight, I want to look good on the beach, so I put up a picture. That's an incentive, right, ron? Yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:43

Well, it's a false incentive, isn't it, ron? Yeah, okay, you answered your own question. So who gave me my incentive? Is it? Someone must have said something to me, brought something up that triggered a negative response in me that I don't want to look like what I thought was good until they said something. It triggered something that I got three months before I take my shirt off, because if it was a priority I wouldn't have to get ready. I will be ready. Right.

Speaker 4: 37:31

Got you so rewards and punishment is an illusion.

Speaker 2: 37:36

Yes, my boys are learning.

Speaker 1: 37:43

Yeah, man, because these are things that you know we have. And this is deep, because breaking out of the matrix, that's exactly right.

Speaker 2: 37:54

And when you become self-aware, that next stage that I've been writing about In recent days, several days, that next stage Is suffering to grace. You're going to have to Break a lot of things down. That's going to really upset you in how you are living your life and and you're going to be like I think I want to keep that, I think I want it, but your, your, your, your. Your life was made up in a house of cards.

Speaker 4: 38:30

Yeah, that's what I'm going through right now me personally, no disrespect to anyone. Hopefully you guys, listeners, can understand what I'm about to say and don't take offense to it. Everything that I've learned about being so-called black. I am starting to get away from it Because it's no longer useful in the time that we're in and where we're going to in the future. We are behind as a people and you can do the research yourself statistically and find out the statistics on it. And there are many reasons why, because of the habits that we've grown accustomed to over years and years and years, and we are stagnant. So I say, okay, we are stagnant. So I say okay, we are stagnant. Why? And I figured it out. And there's so many reasons why, and so I figured out the reason. So now I'm moving far and farther and further away from it and I'm saying, should I do that? Because if I do that, then I won't be considered a part of the tribe anymore.

Speaker 1: 40:03

Yeah, they'll call you a sellout. You see, they call us agents.

Speaker 2: 40:06

But, Brian, I had been through that many years ago. I know exactly where you may be now. I had already went through that because I've been in so many white rooms because of my skill, ability, dedication, honor, that I was considered to be a sellout. Because what are you doing there? Well, I'm learning. I don't know, I mean because why do you want to learn all that?

Speaker 1: 40:48

Yeah, that's a stigma we keep with us. That's crazy talk Like why would you?

Speaker 2: 40:52

want all of that. I can't. Even it blows my mind to think about what's all that mean, because if I could learn all that, to be honest I would learn all of that and that and more I would, because I'm a soaker, I dig and I soak. I dig, I lay in it, I roll around the information in dirt, I soak, I break it apart. Then I'm like, okay, I need a little part, because that's what I do, because it's not just information to me, it's an understanding. Once it becomes an understanding, it becomes a tool. With the tool, I can illuminate anything I want to through the tool you know who said it.

Speaker 1: 41:50

Another author who said the same thing that Ron said. He articulated it differently and, like you said, dr Dyer, it was Thomas Sowell. I don't know if you're familiar with him. Yes, they consider him to be a sellout. It's something I don't know where our people get this If you speak with proper vernacular and grammar you're talking white. What is talking white then? I?

Speaker 2: 42:12

don't know, we give the opposite so much power that if we're giving it, let's look at the opposite reaction. What are we taking from it?

Speaker 1: 42:29

Making yourself inferior.

Speaker 2: 42:31

You are. One of the things that we can only do as a community is that we have to stop our own prejudices against ourselves. Mm, hmm. We are probably more prejudiced against our own culture, our own people.

Speaker 1: 42:52

Drop a bomb on it. I'm sorry, ron. No, it's true, because we don't Even stupid jokes. We have colorist jokes amongst ourselves like damn, that brother darkened this and that. I'm like that's crazy. Light skin versus dark skin.

Speaker 2: 43:11

I mean just like when George Frazier was on with us. Right, we break down our own families. Yeah. Now, I'm not talking about families separating and going through their transformations into other things and morphing into other things. I'm not talking about that because people don't get on whatever. But we still don't have what you got. I cannot be married to you and still have a community with you.

Speaker 1: 43:35

That's a problem.

Speaker 2: 43:37

And if that's a problem, then what in the hell did I miss in the original when I got a hold of you? You know what I mean. We're not talking just about personal and connection and all that stuff, but after we are not together physically connected and all this other stuff.

Speaker 1: 43:55

Still got a family.

Speaker 2: 43:56

We still don't have a community together. If you come into the area, I look at you sideways like what is she doing here? What is he doing here? That's crazy.

Speaker 1: 44:07

Because we occupy our minds with idle things. Idle mind. I think that's a problem. Yeah, delusions, a lot of idle things. We don't talk about great things. If you look at most families and I hate to say this, especially a family that's predominantly women they all gossip about each other. Why, I don't know. It's the weirdest thing. And the men are taking the backseat where they can't have a voice. If they apply some logic, they look at it as a weirdo Like you should be angry with me, and I've seen that with a woman in my family. I'm like this is all they do is gossip about each other.

Speaker 4: 44:48

Mm-hmm, man, listen. It's not only so-called black people that do that.

Speaker 1: 44:52

No, I know.

Speaker 4: 44:53

I know that I'm at the job and, oh man, I'm like yes.

Speaker 1: 44:58

Oh, my God, yes.

Speaker 2: 45:00

It's going to hit you from all sides. Let's go back with the discipline. Let's go back with how it affects us, because you answered it all. It creates an illusion. If we don't understand what is happening, it's what? Is that? The red pill or the blue pill?

Speaker 4: 45:28

I think it's the red pill right.

Speaker 2: 45:30

I think it's the red pill. You want to stay in the matrix.

Speaker 4: 45:34

Wait, I think it's the blue pill is not staying in the matrix.

Speaker 1: 45:37

One of those.

Speaker 2: 45:39

But it's the pill that keeps you in the matrix, because it's easier. Because here's the crazy thing. It's not crazy, it's just science. 95% of your brain, 95% of the mind, is used subconsciously. 95%, that means 95%. It's 9 out of 10. You're doing things habitual. 9 out of ten you're doing things habitual. Nine out of ten things you do it's habitual or it's trained into you. Now the question is who trained it? Why did they train it? Did I have any input? Am I still just following the script? So if you were conditioned with punishment and reward, when did you step out of that? If you don't know that you did, then you haven't. That's all I'm saying. If you don't know that you did Because you wouldn't know when you did, you will know. It's like a heroin addict Trying to get clean on their own. You will know when you did Because the withdraws and the pain that comes through it Is. You will know when you did because the withdraws and the pain that comes through it is staggering the crying, the meltdown.

Speaker 4: 47:30

I know, I've been through it right now, like where I'm like kind of like shedding an old mind state, a state of mind. I'm shedding an old state of mind. I'm finding that it could be me, but I'm finding that I don't relate to a lot of people anymore.

Speaker 1: 47:53

Outgrowing brother.

Speaker 2: 47:55

Self-realization. Yeah, my son, my oldest son, went through that, started that three years ago. He thought it was something wrong with him. Yeah, Because the people stopped calling him. So it was like, well, why haven't you know some of his friends, some of his like, not just like close friends, but some of you know they stop calling or whatever. And he had asked me he goes, you know, they just stopped calling me. I said it's because there's movement. You got to decide, is it your movement or their movement? That's what I asked. I said you got to decide Is it their movement or your movement? Because that's all there is is movement. And he came back to me seven months later. He said it was his movement, because I knew it was his but I couldn't give him the answer. But because he, he had been, we, we had been studying a lot more other things together. He's been asking a lot more other questions and things like that. So I knew it was his movement but and that's what it was he was shedding them.

Speaker 4: 49:14

Right Now. Here's something difficult for me. Yeah, it is difficult honestly, since you know, mike has been, I would say, more transparent on this segment than I have right.

Speaker 1: 49:29

So I'm going to be a little more. I think I'm crazy sometimes, sorry.

Speaker 4: 49:36

Because you give a lot of information on these.

Speaker 1: 49:39

You know why Can none of these fools use anything against me?

Speaker 2: 49:43

Nope.

Speaker 1: 49:44

Once you put it out there, what are you going to say? What are you going to do?

Speaker 2: 49:47

Because here's the thing, and that's why I'm so transparent with my life. And if you ask me, I'll tell you Because I've written in my life. And if you ask me, I'll tell you Because and I've written in my books and I've either I put things in the middle of my books, that I've written it just about the things I've been through, Right, so I'm very transparent. And the only reason why I'm transparent because the only person who is awakening can see the correlation yeah, Awakening can see the correlation. Everyone else they'll hear the words of. It's just words to them. It's like we do these podcasts really to teach people. Really. I love it. I love it Me too man.

Speaker 2: 50:34

I really do. It's here to teach people, hear people to be able to be like. I heard it. I love it, me too, man. It's here to teach people to be able to be like. I heard it, I recorded it all week long and I watched it and I'm still fucked up. I still don't get it. Let me ask do we get many questions about last week's show?

Speaker 4: 50:56

Oh yeah, well, we got a lot of emails, yeah oh, okay yeah, yeah, I sent you the emails because that's.

Speaker 2: 51:04

That's all this is. It's about learning, that's all it is right now what? You saying run I'm here now.

Speaker 4: 51:12

Now here's my thing. Right, I grew up in, of course, harlem and all of that. I grew up rumbling as a kid and then going into a dojo and then coming up with Harlem Goju. I learned to be tough and and and and stuff like that, and and my reaction to certain things. It just doesn't warrant my reaction, you know, like, to certain situations.

Speaker 4: 51:43

Now that I'm older, though I, instead of me reacting out loud, it's still in my mind and my heart, like so when, when I'm having, when, let's say, if I'm having a discussion with someone and we're we're just we're just having a difference of opinion, you know, I'm taking it like is this person disrespecting me? Right now? How should I respond? You know, should I? Should I spaz out on this person? Should I curse them out? Should I ask them what you mean by that, what you want to do? You know what I mean. Like I don't know how to. I know how to remain diplomatic, but I'm still like in my mind, the way that I'm reading it. I'm like is this person trying to disrespect me? Should? What should I do at this point? Should I lash out? Should I snap on this person? Like point, should I lash out. Should I snap on this person like now? I have to figure out how to respond to uh um rebuttals and disagreements.

Speaker 4: 52:45

So I and I and I take it like it.

Speaker 2: 52:48

Like it, it could be possibly a a form of disrespect my suggestion is is is you did it oh, I told, I told this to someone yesterday be more of a detective, and what I mean by it is when that feeling comes over. What is this person doing with what they just said to me? Ask yourself the follow-up. What is this person trying to receive from me? Now, they obviously know they can get it from you, because they said what they said what they said, but what is it that they're trying to receive from you?

Speaker 1: 53:42

A reaction.

Speaker 2: 53:44

But why? Okay, we know it's a reaction, but why a particular reaction? Remember it's a murder because there's a dead body. Being a detective is figuring out not why is there a dead body, but how. Where did it start from? This person just didn't walk out of the bedroom and shoot someone and kept walking. There's a reason to all this happening, there's a motive, and this person the only person that knows the motive is that person. So be the detective and figure out these clues. And that's where I guess. Sometimes when I say the walking, people say the walking away, pausing on a conversation. I believe it's more for detective work than it is for coming down a response, because my response, even in a different state, could be still the wrong response.

Speaker 1: 54:50

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 54:53

So once I know the response, maybe I can ask a follow-up, maybe I can ask it directly, depending on how close this person is. What type of response are you looking for in me, ron? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 55:06

Or just laugh in your head too, what I usually do in my head. I just laugh at them in my head and say a joke Like man, you know what he's looking for his mother and. I just say that in my head Right and I just say that in my head.

Speaker 2: 55:18

But I'm so curious, I'm like what type of response are you looking for me? And they're like they often ask. They often say what do you mean? And now I'm confused and I say you said something. I didn't say. You said something. I didn't say you said this, this, this, this. You said something. I heard you being unsure. I asked you what type of response were you looking for? That's why I believe people don't know in conscious states what they're saying, because it's 95% subconscious and that's it.

Speaker 2: 56:16

It's true yeah, so you can't, you can't really fault them really because right because someone conditioned them and it was probably from the ass whoopings they got when they was or getting bullied, because cats used to get bullied.

Speaker 4: 56:40

Then they get older and then they got that issue.

Speaker 1: 56:44

Everything's a threat to them. They're looking for issues. They could consider you to be very docile because you're calm. That's the most dangerous person that's walking around.

Speaker 2: 56:56

You know, that's why people were so easy to give up their man card and be at those puffy things. They were so easy to be pimped out because, they didn't mind being feminine in that situation, in the dominant situation. And here's how I know that there's a difference between having types of parties that assimilate the same way. They're not these parties that Puffy was having, or what's the other guy? The 16-year-old, the 16-year-old girls.

Speaker 4: 57:32

Oh, r Kelly, R Kelly.

Speaker 2: 57:34

Those are different. You can have multiple adult parties that you don't have to give up your man card. They were having parties so you can give up your man card because they wanted to bend you over for the next deal. The sex part of it was about Programming you to. I can get you to do what I want you to do when I ask you to do it. That's what that was. So a lot of people get those twisted up Like, oh, it's those wild parties. Those parties had nothing to do with it. They were having parties of taking people's manhoods and deploralizing women, but it was mostly black men, if you know who was at the parties.

Speaker 4: 58:26

Right, right, Indeed, indeed, On that note, today was about rewards and punishment. Senses of the brain. Mike, your screen just went out on us Probably your internet connection but it ended right at the right time. Thank you for coming out, brother. Dr Paul Dyer Really appreciate you. Another great episode. I hope the listeners got something from this. Keep sending the emails. I'll keep sending the emails to Dr Paul Dyer and we are out of here. Peace you.