The Neuroscience of Habits: Why You Do What You Do - Dr Paul Dyer

Why do you keep falling into the same patterns, even when you know they don't serve you? The answer lies deep within your brain's basal ganglia—the command center responsible for habit formation, your reward system, and the automatic behaviors that shape your daily life.

In this mind-expanding conversation with Dr. Paul Dyer, we dive into the fascinating neuroscience behind our habits. You'll discover how your brain creates behavioral patterns, why they're so difficult to change, and the critical difference between mindlessly repeating actions versus creating intentional, purpose-driven habits. Dr. Dyer breaks down complex neurological processes into practical understanding, revealing how it takes between 18 and 250 days to form a habit—and why some people can transform faster than others.

We explore the powerful role your environment plays in shaping your habits, particularly how observation and learning from others programmed many of your current behaviors. This understanding illuminates why children often mirror their parents' patterns and why surrounding yourself with the right influences becomes crucial for positive change. The conversation takes a particularly powerful turn when we examine how emotional triggers connect to habit loops and why some people become addicted to negative thinking patterns that release the same reward chemicals as other addictions.

Most importantly, you'll gain clarity on the difference between authentic self-awareness and simply going through motions. As Dr. Dyer emphasizes, without understanding why you do what you do, you remain trapped in unconscious programming with no real choice. But when you approach habit change with clear intention and purpose, you can rewire your neural pathways and transform your life. Whether you're struggling with unwanted behaviors or seeking to optimi

Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast
Welcome to the Fit, Healthy and Happy Podcast hosted by Josh and Kyle from Colossus...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Chapters

• 10:56 [Ad] Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast
• 11:42 (Cont.) The Neuroscience of Habits: Why You Do What You Do - Dr Paul Dyer

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:11

what's going on, everybody. It's ron brown lmt, the people's fitness professional, and we have dr paul dyer in the building. Uh, dr paul dyer leaves and comes back because something's going on with the sound. Hopefully you guys liked that last show. I'm pretty sure you had. You did like that last show. That last show was fire. We had a Duke of Tears in the building. That was a great build Building on a lot of interesting subjects. Here we go. We got Dr Paul Dyer back on, let's see, let's see what's going on. Here we go. We got, uh, brother, uh, dr paul dyer back on. Let's see, let's see what's going on. There we go, you hear me hey, hey what's going?

Speaker 3: 0:53

on brother cut them off. I hear you perfectly how you doing great, great man.

Speaker 1: 0:58

Nice to see you, man, how you feel this evening.

Speaker 3: 1:05

Been doing good. Been doing good. You know, always keeping busy with trying to help people, help people right. That's what I do, you know, whether it be taking phone calls or talking to people, or always getting asked about the science of things, especially when it comes to behavior.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Indeed, now, today we're talking about the neuroscience of habits. Why do you do what you do? Pardon me, I'm tired. Why do you do what you do? All right, the neuroscience of habits. So you know, all of us, we have like a programming that we follow every single day. We, we repeat it, we repeat it, we repeat it and, um, you know, I wanted to talk about how does that work and how to break these programs. So, if you can go into how, how does this work, these programs work? How, how does it, how, how do we get into habits?

Speaker 3: 2:09

So, um, with this picture, behind me is literally the um, the center part, um, the basal ganglia is what it's called and that controls thinking, movement, emotions and memory, right, so the reason why that's important, to understand where it is in the brain, that it's happening, is because after that, you know, we say it could take between eight it's been studied between 18 days to 250 something days. You can form a habit. Some people can do it in 18. Some people can do it in 200. But roughly 18 days consistently. You can form a habit depending on the person. And that's where it becomes, because we have to understand how we learn Right. Because we have to understand how we learn right and we've talked about that on these shows, about because of where we are, who we are, how we think, what we were taught is how we learn.

Speaker 3: 3:17

Okay, that plays an important part on habits. So, in layman's terms, you can almost say if you don't have, as an adult parent, if you don't have good habits, your child will never have good habits, because part of the learning as a person does is by watching, by listening. Yes, sir, right. So when we talk about things like neuroplasticity, which is why we can change, because we can grow different receptors and connectors for the neurons, right. But the environment is a strong teacher. What you hear is a strong teacher. All those things that gets inputted into the basal ganglia creates a factor.

Speaker 3: 4:23

So that's why some people can never have a habit. Some people can have, and we're not even talking about good or bad. Right, that's relative, because if it works for you, it's a good habit for you, you know. So good and bad is not what's a good habit, what's a bad habit. I'm not even going to talk about that because that's personal, you know. But we're just talking about habits. So you may not be able to learn a habit because of how you learn, who you are, what taught you and what your environment was teaching you.

Speaker 2: 5:01

Right.

Speaker 1: 5:03

Yes sir, yes sir right, yes, sir, yes sir. So. So the basal ganglia basically. So. So how does the base basal ganglia get you used to pretty much anything like form a habit?

Speaker 3: 5:19

well, because so once you input, once you input it like if you're doing something intentional obviously, like brushing your teeth, and you do it at a certain time, right, that information is always being fed into that area, which gives you you know, it releases different types of um adrenalines, dopamine and all this other stuff, because it's the reward system too. That's where your reward system is Right. We talked about, um, the pleasure center of the brain. That's where this is Right. So it's the reward system. So I'm doing something, I'm getting used to it, I release all this. It's a reward system, which is why it forms a habit, but with your thoughts of I want to clean my teeth, so it becomes an intentional purpose of why you're doing. It releases those other thoughts that goes through your body, that habit.

Speaker 1: 6:23

Okay, check, check, check. Now, one thing I was saying to myself and I believe I said this to my daughter and some other people we got microfiber in is that, you know, I want my children like, first of all, both of my children. They're like they do a lot right, so one speaks Spanish and the other one's this, and that they do a lot of things. They're like wise and ahead of their time, right. But I want them to read a little bit more. And I said to myself, if they see me reading more, naturally they're going to start reading more. So it's funny that you said that. So people pick up habits from their environment, from the people that they're most influenced by. If you will, would you say that yeah?

Speaker 3: 7:19

Absolutely, absolutely. And, like I said, whether you want to form a habit or not, the people around you are going to give you their habits Because you're around them enough. If you're around them enough, they're going to give you your habit, whether it be talking over someone, whatever, the habit is that you are familiar with. That's what you're going to pick up Now. You can also suggest and be like I would like for you to read more. How about read this book with me? You can also be encouraging. That helps people form a habit. That's why trainers work right, helps people form a habit. That's why trainers work right. That's why, when people go to trainers or get taught something so they can be better at it, they have a different mental intention that I'm going to listen so I can gain physical, mental, emotional, whatever. That's why they go with the intention to listen, so they can gain the chemical releases that says, oh, I like this, I'm going to continue to do it, which we call a habit.

Speaker 2: 8:34

Got you, got you, got you. How you doing, brother? Hey, mikey.

Speaker 1: 8:45

So the neuroscience of habits.

Speaker 3: 8:52

So we talked about the bangloganglia.

Speaker 1: 8:54

Basal, pardon me, pardon me Basalganglia. So we talked about the basalganglia. What else in the brain deals with the habits, forming of habits?

Speaker 3: 9:05

Well, no, it doesn't. So basically it goes because it's where it is. Then it gets sent to the cerebral cortex, which allows you to have those memories and conditions and stuff like that. So it goes to the fore part of your brain. So that's why things become actionable when people have a habit Because now it's in the fore part of the brain. So that's why it becomes. Things become actionable when people have a habit. It's, it's becomes because it's now it's in the fore part of the brain. But it gets all those information, gets filtered through an emotional state, because that's part of the brain that helps you develop emotions.

Speaker 3: 9:47

So habits trigger something. It triggers something that you want to receive. Going back to the reward system in the center part of the brain will be called the pleasure center, which is why a habit is formed. Good or bad, this is what I'm used to. Ie, he beats me. This is why I keep dating the same people. I don't know why, but addiction, bad addiction, good addiction all those are the same words of habits. So whatever we are triggering, we receive and we want to do that again. That's why habits are formed. Now, the other side of that is, if you're not consciously knowing why you're forming a habit. It's almost like you're taking a gambling shoot, saying 50% of this could be good, 50% is going to be bad, but you have no intention to it. So it runs. You, you're not even part of it. You're not even part. You don't even have self.

Speaker 1: 11:36

So this is when we start talking about the unconscious mind.

Speaker 3: 11:40

Yeah, right.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Now, where would the unconscious mind be located? I think we spoke about this a while back you don't have, it's not.

Speaker 3: 11:50

We have not located consciousness. And where it is, it's, it's, um, it's, it's, it's, it's. We don't, we don't have a place for it. We don't like it's. Oh, it's over there, it's over there. No, that's what science. We don't have a place for it. We don't like it. Oh, it's over there, it's over there. No, that's what science.

Speaker 2: 12:07

We don't have consciousness, that's why it's probably talked about in many different ways and how and what for? Because it's a conversation of thinking right. It's a hypervisor, it's just a program that's just running on its own.

Speaker 1: 12:22

Okay, All right. So now, when you have a habit, when you have a habit like a strong habit, like, let's say, like smoking cigarettes, smoking cigarettes is connected Now, as you said, like connected to an emotion. Right Now that emotion is, you know, I'm stressed and let me smoke something to make me feel more calm Right Now. Does the amygdala play any part in this?

Speaker 3: 12:58

Well, absolutely does, because you know now you're firing on where you derived, where did you develop this emotion to X, whatever that is Right. So you mentioned smoking. I've watched my dad smoke. I really love my dad. He's like my hero. I also saw him smoke when he wasn't. He wasn't doing so well, when he was sad he would go smoke over here. It was a different type of look, the way he held the cigarette right. So when I'm sad, you know you're feeding all this into your creation of the thought, the emotion to smoking.

Speaker 1: 13:52

Okay, all right. So now, how would you approach dealing with a client of yours who's addicted to smoking and they want to stop? Would you take a look at the emotion? Would you focus on the emotion first?

Speaker 3: 14:14

I think you know, for me it's all of it. Yeah, because triggers are everything. Triggers is what triggers is what fires information between cell to cell, right, so you get those triggers right, otherwise they're going to just fire the same thing and you're going to end up with the same fighting a chemical need to do something. We're talking about smoking, right? And so we have to break down. I have to teach. I will teach you why the brain does what it does, because just knowing how to fix it isn't enough for me. I want you to be educated about yourself, so when it breaks down, you can fix it again Right about yourself. So when it breaks down, you can fix it again right.

Speaker 3: 15:08

So me telling you about why the brain is, just why the brain is, and then we, and then you can start. We can start asking those questions. You know who created this for you? Did you create it? And if you did, how did you do it? Like you know your building blocks. But if you, if come up with your answers I don't know, this is just how I learned it Then someone created it for you and figure out that connection there and then understand it, and then you have a choice to break it or keep it after understanding it, right after after understanding, okay.

Speaker 1: 15:44

So, so now, now that you stop, let's say you stop also. Another thing about smoking I realize is is, uh, the taste, the, the, the taste that your brain associates you know like right, right, so it's. It's like it also hand the mouth. Just that action, yeah that could be.

Speaker 3: 16:11

All those things can be interpreted, it just can. And then that you know, I think interpretations can get a little bit wonky and sideways and then things get out of hand because we're misinterpreting the interpretation and all this other stuff. But like for, but, with all sensations, you know, with all our senses, it affects why we do the habit we do. It affects why we do the habit we do. Whatever it is that the habit you have, it's all your senses involved in that and how you created that attachment to doing it is your habit, that's why?

Speaker 2: 16:57

to change a habit, you have to rewire your thinking.

Speaker 3: 16:59

we also add on the chemical compound of nicotine, the external stimulant that also alters right, right, but because you can smoke and never have a cigarette with nicotine in it, it's just straight tobacco. So the taste of tobacco, and we recall that. Now, really, it's a cigar when it's thick enough, depending on the pace, cigars anyway, but it's the taste it's. It's a cigar when it's thick enough, depending on the pace, cigars anyway, but it's the taste. It's like having a coffee taste or a taste for Spanish rice. Whatever, it's a taste. You enjoy the taste. The other stuff doesn't come with it, the nicotine and the other stuff that people put in, the other stuff that can cause total addiction. Yeah Right, addiction, yeah Right.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Okay, okay. Now, if you had to break down steps of forming a habit that happened in the brain, how would you break it down?

Speaker 3: 17:55

You know, like I said, it takes at least 18 days to form a habit, right? So you got to do something at least 18 days in a row at a time schedule before it kicks in. That's the lowest right. Again, some people have taken up to 250-something days to form a habit. So it's not just a time frame, it's me teaching them. The one thing is to have intent and then start to do something. If you have no intentions, of personal intent, then it just being a good idea is not going to work.

Speaker 2: 18:43

It has to be pleasurable.

Speaker 1: 18:44

You got to make, push yourself to make it become pleasurable as you say when you attend right now it becomes hard work now would you say, the human being is a, let's say, the human being is a sophisticated conglomeration of many different habits.

Speaker 3: 19:11

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. I think we again. When you don't know who you are, again, when you don't know who you are and why you do whatever it is you do, you may be a conglomerate, but you're also a damage because you have no understanding of why you are and why you do things. That's where, that's where we're forcing you to think and that's tough for people.

Speaker 1: 19:51

So if I had to ask, if you had to ask someone, who are you? You know when you ask that question. What kind of answers are you?

Speaker 3: 20:02

You know when you ask that question what kind of answers are you getting? What do you mean? That's the first thing that come out of my head. What do you mean? And I said that's very important that you said that, because you have no clue. You have no clue. You're even asking me what do I mean about who you are? So your question already dictates you have no idea.

Speaker 1: 20:39

So that's a beginning. Now, what if I have a bunch of philosophical answers, you know, would that work?

Speaker 3: 20:49

yeah, it does. Just ask yourself, like, why do I do this? And if you can't trace it back between something you created or something your environment taught you and you don't know the difference, then it's hard for you to develop an intent, because you may have never had intention, you may have never been taught how to develop intention, would you say.

Speaker 1: 21:19

The majority of the people are just walking without any idea of who they are.

Speaker 3: 21:28

Yeah, I believe they are. I really believe they don't know their intention or they've never been taught intention, and I'm not talking about the people who have been successful.

Speaker 1: 21:39

I like that.

Speaker 2: 21:40

Yeah, go ahead. Who have been successful? I like that, I like that I.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I was getting ready to say I like how you're saying intention, like I'm intentionally doing this for this particular reason, as opposed to just running on a treadmill.

Speaker 2: 22:03

Right.

Speaker 1: 22:04

Right Intention Purpose.

Speaker 3: 22:08

Purpose. Why do you walk at the speed you walk? What is your reason?

Speaker 3: 22:17

Did you do it, yeah, but did you say if I walk at this speed, I move in this many distance in this much time? Did you calculate that yourself? Did you figure that out and said that's what your intentions are? Or did you just realize that other people walk fast and if you walk fast you'll get there faster? But you don't really know how fast unless you do it this many times. See, what I mean.

Speaker 3: 22:45

Developing something is to have an idea why you're doing it, to go back to figure out even the habits you have now. Was it something you developed or was it something that was taught to you? Either one could be good or bad. Like I said, this is not about good habits or bad habits. It's just how did you get to? Why you? Why do you do the things you do? Understand that about yourself? That's when I ask about, when you ask someone who are you, do you understand your things? And that takes a lot of thought and questioning themselves, because they're going to come across things bad they're like. That's why I do that. Once you get there, to that pinnacle, to that apex, you have a choice to continue or not. But if you never thought about your understanding of why it is that you do that you never have a choice, so you're always just with the mob rules or what's emotionally driving you Right. You don't have a thought in it.

Speaker 1: 23:58

Oh man, oh man, you're a puppet, You're a puppet in the what do they call it for the puppet master? The puppet master, like I've noticed, like even myself, how I used to eat, like it would be like, yeah, I'm eating healthy, I'm eating healthy, I'm eating healthy, but it's just packaged stuff that says it's healthy, right and so right, it's like, yeah, health, healthy, right. But then you turn it on the other side it's a bunch of it's like a 20 different ingredients, preservatives no right right, right and then all of a sudden, now, now I'm having I'm having yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 24:47

Yeah go ahead.

Speaker 3: 24:48

Your point is exactly. No one turns over the package.

Speaker 2: 24:52

Right.

Speaker 1: 24:56

No one's turning over the package.

Speaker 3: 24:58

It never comes up.

Speaker 1: 24:59

No one's really assessing what they do before they do it, as they say in the 5% Nation, doing the knowledge. I wonder if anyone on the check-in right now who's from the 5% Nation. Do you truly do the knowledge? I want to know that. Do you truly do the knowledge right? Doing the knowledge, according to the definition from the 5% Nation, means to look, listen, observe, to know and also respect. Look, listen and observe. That's doing the knowledge before what we say, the wisdom. Wisdom means to apply. Also, wisdom is the wise words Think before you speak, think before you do.

Speaker 1: 25:43

So you know, right now I've been doing a lot of doing the knowledge and and it's really working out of my favor because I'm like, like I said, like I was just eating, eating, eating. I'm like, yeah, I'm eating healthy, I'm working out lifting weights, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're working out, working out, running, running, running, running, running. And then months later I pop up with injury. The next month I got a stomach. Something's going on with my stomach. The next month, my knee something happened. Because I'm just training and I'm just eating, but I'm not really putting any in-depth thought behind everything that I'm doing. And now that I'm doing that, my life is changing and I'm happy about it.

Speaker 2: 26:31

Changing my habits.

Speaker 1: 26:34

Intention Intention, Intention Indeed. So now um takes. You said it takes us 18 days to 200, some odd days to change habit, being that we are a conglomeration, if you will, of a bunch of different habits, how do we yeah, yeah. How do we take a step back and chip away at those, what they say, rough edges? How do we systematically chip away at those rough edges and remember we're also dealing with strong passions and urges to maintain these habits? So how do we get past that part?

Speaker 3: 27:22

So how do we get past that part? So it's a strong, it's a, it's a, it's a, it is a strong. You ask yourself the question how do I do this? Why do I do it this way? Right, without that's, it's the self-awareness. Because you, now, you want to, now you're trying to figure out what's a good habit, what's a bad habit. That's probably an easier list to make, right? And you say I want to stop the bad habit. But when you're want to stop the bad habit, but when you're trying to stop a bad habit, you have to understand prior we call the red flags what's the trigger that takes. That trigger takes self-sensitivity, of being vulnerable to yourself and how sad you're going to realize why you developed that habit.

Speaker 3: 28:21

Substituting that's something that the strong mind, because of social norms, has a hard time letting people do.

Speaker 2: 28:33

I'm glad you mentioned that, dr Dyer, about self-awareness and realizing sensitivity. I'm going to keep it real. I dealt with that with family, certain family members that I choose, like once I address the situation and I see it's no longer changing. I had to learn to withdraw myself, control the narrative, because I realized if I allow you to get to me your words, your action, whatsoever, it's gonna lead me. I'm gonna allow you to lead me down the path. Yeah, you know so. I'm glad you said that. It's self-awareness knowing your sensitivity, knowing you as we always say, your weaknesses.

Speaker 1: 29:09

You gotta be honest with yourself what's funny about what you said, mike, is that the people that, uh, that you allow or not, that true, you're allowing them to, you kind of. You said that you're not allowing them to, or let's say if you would, let's say if you would allow them to take you down that wrong path. Guess what? They're a victim to their own bad habits, and now you are yeah, exactly yeah yeah, yeah, some people will.

Speaker 2: 29:38

They will do it to you if you allow them to and, as you said, consciously, subconsciously, they don't know because they're, some of us, not raised with proper tools. You know, some parents, no, but the problem.

Speaker 3: 29:47

But when you start getting the proper tools and someone says you have to start listening, it's not so much listening to what the outside volume is is to listen to what your inside volume is telling you what you're hearing. Exactly that's listening when you want to listen go ahead.

Speaker 3: 30:11

No, no, I'm sorry so when someone says, are they listening? They're listening to probably what I'm saying, but are they listening to the voice of how they're interpreting it or what they're understanding about it? So it could be, instead of filtering it, it could be actually clear and clean, right? So listening is there's an equilibrium to this the outside and the inside and that's what listening is, because that's when you get to understanding, because you understand how you are with yourself and what you heard now, when I, when you're saying, listening are, are you talking about the inside voice?

Speaker 1: 30:58

Now, the inside voice is that intuition.

Speaker 3: 31:03

It's genetics, it's a lot of history going on that's firing inside your development, where you are, what's your family life, your surroundings? You're listening with all of that as a young person and as you get older which is why you make the change you start to ask yourself what I'm listening to externally, does it match with me internally and is it good for me? So that's where all those different things are. Most people it just matches with the internal because they're so used to hearing it.

Speaker 3: 31:39

If you're used to hearing bad languages in your household, then of course it matches with what you do, because that's what your inside voice does too. But if you make a choice of saying I don't want to use that, then you have to realize, when it's being said, what's also being suggested to you in the voice, which fires the same chemical response that causes you to go back to do the same bad thing again. You have to make that hard switch, like Mikey said and says I'm removing myself from this because I know it's going to trigger all this different actions which is going to make me create the habit I don't want to have.

Speaker 2: 32:23

I can love you from a distance Doesn't mean I hate you. I take my family in dosages, trust me. After a few hours I'm out.

Speaker 3: 32:36

That's why people have a hard time having a habit for themselves. They can go to someone and someone can tell them what to do enough times and they'll keep that habit. I still think you know I don't like teaching people that way. I have never taught people that way. I actually will say I'd rather for you to slow down on your gains now so you can understand what I'm trying to tell you about your intentional connection to what you're doing, even when I see the problem is like I've worked with professional athletes and their intentions are so purposeful they get so much more out of it because they're mentally there wanting to absorb everything you give them so they can be better. Most people don't have intentions in their lives for something, in their lives for something.

Speaker 1: 33:39

You know it's just go to work, get a paycheck, pay the bills, go, you know, go on vacation, you know that's it, that's it. Now, how would you find? Like people like that, they don't have a purpose. So, like me, I, I was fortunate enough, fortunate enough to find my purpose early on in my life and I, and uh, no matter what happened in life, I just cannot stop doing the things that I'm doing right now, like this, martial arts and all other stuff that I do so.

Speaker 1: 34:19

you know, I feel like I found my purpose early. Now, what about those who feel like they don't have a purpose, or even thought of having a purpose?

Speaker 3: 34:29

We have to. You know people around them or loved ones and people who you know love, and you have to create an environment where people can feel like they can let go of their have-tos, to start imagining. Once you start imagining, once you start to become again vulnerable to sensei.

Speaker 2: 34:52

It's true what he said Imagination is important, finding your purpose, purpose man being you and sensitivities your plat, yeah, but and I'm not talking about just something you're you dr, poor guy you

Speaker 1: 35:10

broke up. You, yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever your stuff broke up. So can we start from the top, from what you just said?

Speaker 3: 35:17

Yeah. So when you develop a purpose and intention, you develop a passion for it. So, like I was saying, even when I work with athletes, for athletes, their gains are so much better and faster because their intentions are there. So they receive it, they absorb it and it just takes. For a person who's living in an environment that they didn't create and they don't want to be in, their intentions is harder to develop because they're listening to all these other noises. It's just what, it's just the environment itself. So you have to say I'm going to do this. Now you open up a spot within your consciousness, so now your neural pathways can start reconnecting to form something that you are creating. That's good for you, that's it. But you have to, you have to develop that intention, otherwise nothing will ever seep through. No matter what information you are getting to try to be better, you won't be able to absorb it because your intentions were not there.

Speaker 2: 36:32

Self-care, self-care, self-love. Man, it's most important about that indeed, indeed.

Speaker 1: 36:39

So now, as far as um the uh basal ganglia habits, the neuromuscular system and movement, let's talk about that and forming a habit with movement Right.

Speaker 3: 36:58

So, when all this is getting triggered, your nervous system is also part of this mechanism that is happening. That's why, when it comes to the basal ganglia movement, it's your nervous systems and all that so yeah, so movement introduces can start formulating what you call what we know muscle memory. And that muscle memory has a voice inside of. This is what we do and this is what we need to do, to do well. So it starts to have its own, you know, cellular voice to it. So, like for me to get you know your body's going for me to get better at this, so I'm going to send those signals back up to the brain. So that's how that is.

Speaker 1: 37:42

Okay. Okay Now, in order to form a physical habit versus a? It sounds kind of crazy, but I'm going to ask the question anyway, but I think it's like kind of the same thing, but well, maybe not. So to change your psychological habits versus your physical habits, is that a different thing?

Speaker 3: 38:09

No, it's not a different thing and it still takes about just the same time.

Speaker 2: 38:13

Right.

Speaker 3: 38:15

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 38:16

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3: 38:17

But wouldn't you say you still got to do something. Because here's the difference. Right, you tell someone to walk a mile every day at three o'clock. The person does it. Person A does it.

Speaker 3: 38:41

Person B. You say I want you to walk a mile every day. At this time, person B says what type of walk do you want me to do and what should I focus on? What type of walk do you want me to do and what should I focus on? Because of that intentional action, of what they want to get walking out of it, they're going to form those muscles that you tell them to look forward to their thigh muscles, the contraction of the calf. As you spring off the toe, like, keep your hips in line, keep your chest up. They're going to have more result than a person who's just like you told me to walk every day and they're just walking. That's the difference between that person will form a habit. Person A will form a habit, probably in 60 days. Person B is going to form a habit probably in 60 days.

Speaker 1: 39:36

Person B is going to form a habit, like in 18 days. So you're saying, like the visualization and the deeper explanation, the descriptive piece gets the visualization, I would say, in the psyche and then that's what makes it form a habit, right.

Speaker 2: 40:00

That was your dog then.

Speaker 1: 40:02

That was oh okay.

Speaker 2: 40:06

I've done that approach in school. You know what I'm saying. I'm going to graduate and just push through.

Speaker 3: 40:12

Right, right, but that makes you form the habit faster. The other person probably will form a habit, but it'll take him a very long time, that's all.

Speaker 1: 40:27

Okay, okay. Now, as far as different types of habits, would you say there are different types of habits or is just habit and that's that?

Speaker 3: 40:44

Yeah, habit to habit. Yeah, because morally, socially, however, you want to start to impugn someone's perspectives and beliefs and faiths. Who are we to say what's a good habit, what's a bad habit? And I don't care what you say is bad. So you're saying, paul, if they do fentanyl, you can argue that that's a good habit. I'm saying it's their habit, it's going to kill them, not me, so it's not for me to judge. This is a good habit, bad for me? How about that?

Speaker 1: 41:24

which brings me to my next question. Mike, do you have any questions?

Speaker 2: 41:26

I have all the questions tonight no, no, no, go ahead, go ahead. You're hype.

Speaker 1: 41:41

So now can you be addicted to?

Speaker 3: 41:41

negative thinking? Absolutely, because it triggers the same chemical response your reward system is asking you for.

Speaker 1: 41:51

Wait, say that again, can you rewind?

Speaker 3: 41:54

It's triggering the same chemical response that your reward system in the basal ganglia is asking for. It just knows that you can get the chemical I need to feel euphoric, or whatever is that we normally will do this or allow this. So how you're doing it, the brain doesn't care because, remember, it doesn't have real eyes and ears. It just has what the signals you're giving it okay, so you can.

Speaker 1: 42:31

You can very much be addicted to negative thinking.

Speaker 3: 42:38

Absolutely, absolutely. Because it's a, it's a feeling, but if you don't ask yourself, why you're addicted, but if you never ask yourself why am I, why do I do? I am so attracted to negative thinking. If you never ask yourself that, you can never correct it.

Speaker 1: 43:00

Because you have no intention to change it. You know, I'm going to try this right now and I'm going to be transparent. I was addicted to negative thinking. Negative uh, not necessarily negative self talks, cause I don't say I'm a piece of crap or nothing like that, or I'm bad or I don't like this about myself. You know I'm more, so go.

Speaker 1: 43:23

You know I'm the guy in the car with the road rage and the fuck you doing. And BP, what are you doing? Get out, you all. You know, look at that guy over there. He's acting crazy, he's stupid. You know, and I realize that I'm actually talking to myself because, like, my psychology is, like my psyche, it's picking all this stuff up, all these talks, all this information that I'm spewing out, and I'm recording this and I'm creating a negative reality around myself. So I'm saying all that to say like, how would you, if I know that I'm creating this negative reality surrounding myself, how do I continuously continue to break free of it and continuously break free of it, being that I've been thinking about thinking like this and having these talks for years?

Speaker 3: 44:37

about thinking like this and talk, having these talks for years, you say I am done, and you and you, and then you start to learn how to be done. That's it, because once you start saying you know what, I don't want to be like this anymore, then you start reading, you start listening inside out. When I say listening, I mean inside out. So when people hear saying Dr Dyer wants to know if you're listening, listening to what the outside is saying and listening to what yourself is and how you are interpreting to it, right, that's listening. So you start to listen, you start to inform and then you start to change, because then you start to rewire your thinking. Rewire your thinking New neurons, new this comes back to neuroplasticity. You start to reform different patterns, neural pathways of thinking, and that's how you change.

Speaker 1: 45:47

What about? What would you say about people who went through serious catastrophic? You know traumatic events and they just can't get it out of their minds and it keeps them in a loop I created. I don't know if anyone else came out with this term, but in my mind one day I say oh shoot, we're caught in the like trauma loops. We're caught in like a trauma loop. So it's like you know, you have that trauma in the back of your head. You say something, uh, uh. You're like oh, this person's that, you know this person's this and this person's that. Then you pick up your phone and then you start looking at. You know people fighting and things like that. You know what I'm saying. So, like you know, how do you get off of that, off of that, off of that? Mm-hmm, yeah, listen.

Speaker 3: 46:46

You know I was molested and I was saying I was molested as a young boy. I could have went on with that trauma and kept it from me having to try to have meaningful connections with other men, not as molesters, but how my connections were with women, but how my connections were with women. If I kept that, I would have let it destroy anything of possibility of love that I could ever that I have received and would encounter. If I kept, if I physically kept that saying this, this, this right, all the time I made a choice and I didn't. The answer is you have to make a choice and then this goes back to habits Understand what you think and how you created your choice and why you're making it. That's intention. That's why people's lives change when they become intentional.

Speaker 1: 47:59

Let's say I'm your client. Something happened to me 20 years ago. I saw something that put me in a shell shock. What would be the first right, what would be the first thing you would do to treat me?

Speaker 3: 48:20

Well, let's say, recognize that trigger, embrace that trigger and tear that trigger apart, like why did you trigger me? Where did you originally come from? Interrogate that trigger apart, like why did you trigger me? Where did you originally come from? Interrogate that trigger.

Speaker 1: 48:40

Okay, so you know what. I'm going to be transparent right now with the show, before we cut out, my sister died years ago, right, so it happened out of nowhere. She was like everything to me and she got on the back of a motorcycle and that was it. But the whole experience behind it with, like you know, you know, her clothing with blood on it, my mom screaming, like with this girdling kind of scream, and, uh, the whole scene and like how do I, how do I unpack that? Like you know what I mean? It's like I'm, it's like I'm not stuck at the in that time, but that's a time that is so vivid. It feels like it just happened like an hour ago and yeah, You're still grieving.

Speaker 3: 49:42

You're talking about grieving and there is no time limit for periods of types of grieving. So there's, you don't grieve. You may. People may think you grieve less, you have more of a stronger senses to the period when you think of it, but you're grieving. That's not a habit to get over, because that's grieving, that's mourning, that's yes. The motorcycles even seeing a motorcycle with a woman on a motorcycle makes me think of my sister.

Speaker 3: 50:27

All those things are parts of grieving and that won't go away. That's not something you stuck in, that's just something you're just grieving, still through, right, that's so when it comes down to it. So, so, when it comes down to intentions, if you never asked me that questions, you would have thought it was a bad habit that you had to get over. But that's where you ask those questions. You get that clarity and understanding of is this this, or is it this, this? That's what you go in with intention. That's why you were able to ask that question. That's why it's grieving, it's not a habit. So, yeah, so it were able to ask that question. That's why it's grieving, it's not a habit. So it's able to be cleared up for you now.

Speaker 1: 51:18

I feel like getting on the motorcycle and riding a motorcycle would help.

Speaker 3: 51:24

Kind of like me release this no, this is not something that releases. Like I said, this is grieving, this is not like a fear or something like that. If it goes into a fear, a habit can be formed.

Speaker 1: 51:39

Yeah, like I get paranoid, Right.

Speaker 3: 51:44

That you can control with. You're right getting on a motorcycle or doing those things. You're right getting on a motorcycle or doing those things, but don't connect what it developed you to do maybe into a habit from grieving.

Speaker 1: 52:15

And I think you hit on a great point then to say that often when people are sad, they take that as a grieving, mourning period and they turn it into a habit of continuous sadness. Right, indeed, indeed, indeed, for sure. So. So, in a nutshell, intention, intention first, purpose and forming a new habit. Forming new habits.

Speaker 2: 52:33

Yep.

Speaker 1: 52:35

And it takes, like you said, 18 to 200, some odd days. However, through visualization and practice, it may be shorter. Yeah, all right, here we go.

Speaker 3: 52:52

I mean anything you consider to be the word. Learning is indeed.

Speaker 1: 52:58

And oh, man, mike, you just missed a a therapy session, man, no no, no, I was listening so I want to ask a question.

Speaker 2: 53:06

I have a way of disconnecting certain things, dr dyer. Is that a? Is that a? Is that a habit? Is that a bad habit? Right there, when things get chaotic, I tend to that's your habit.

Speaker 3: 53:16

We'll end on that. No, that's your habit. It's your habit, it's what you want. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 53:21

I just disconnect completely.

Speaker 3: 53:23

You know what I mean Good or bad, it's what you do.

Speaker 2: 53:31

I've been told I'm cold for doing that. Is that cold? On that note, thank you for coming out this evening.

Speaker 1: 53:39

Dr Paul Dyer, we really appreciate you and we are out in peace, peace, Peace.