Facing the Shadow: Trauma & Personal Responsibility

Your shadow is not a spooky metaphor. It is the set of experiences you learned to hide because facing them felt unsafe, embarrassing, or unbearable, and that hidden material can end up driving your choices from the subconscious. Mikey Fever sits down with Dr. Paul W. Dyer to unpack trauma, shadow work, and personal accountability without the “guru” games, with a focus on what actually changes behavior over time.

We talk about how repression builds stronger connections in the mind, why triggers can cross-wire across totally different events, and how trauma can distort your perception of reality even when you swear you are “over it.” Dr. Dyer explains why learning the neuroscience and brain chemistry matters, not to label people, but to give them options and a path to responsibility that is rooted in how the nervous system truly works. We also dig into the fuzzy, exhausting stage of healing where identity gets questioned, and how generational trauma and old environments can keep you trapped in roles you never chose.

From intimacy feeling threatening to trauma bonds and victim identity, we explore what vulnerability looks like in real life and why calm can be misread when others only know chaos. We close with practical recovery tools like journaling to strengthen consciousness, plus reflections on broader collective stress in a world overloaded by conflict and constant stimuli. If you want a grounded, direct conversation on trauma healing, emotional triggers, and post-traumatic growth, hit play, then subscribe, share, and leave a review so more people can find it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Peace world. I'm back as promised. Tonight is a triple header. Welcome to another episode of NYP Talk Show. I'm your host, Mikey Fever, for this portion of the show. Tonight we'll be having our bro, our good Brock the our good brother and the dire on. And right now, tonight's show will be about facing the shadow, trauma, and personal accountability. Don't forget to comment, like, share, and subscribe. We got super chats. We are back in effect. Show us love. Check out the website. And I hope you enjoy this show. Dr. Dyer, can you hear me?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Well, it looks like I'm on, Mikey.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Yes, you're on. I can hear you.

SPEAKER_05 1:00

Are you alright, brother?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

There's something that doesn't work. Yeah, it's just it's only this show. It's I I talk on a lot of other shows, and it's only this show. That's what makes me so like what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

There's something something in the air, man. Don't worry about that. Peace, the brother of Ben. How you doing, brother? He's saluting to you, Dr. Dyer. Peace. I put your name on everybody want to come out. They want to see the good doctor, man. How you been, Dr. Dyer?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_00 1:38

I've been good. You know, um, I've been in a lot of um, yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yeah, I can hear you. You're good.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, I can hear you. Yeah.

War Update From International Committees

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Okay, good. I've been in um since since the war started, I have been in a lot of meetings with um several international committees that I'm on. And um there's a there's a lot more going on that will obviously ever get reported, but because I'm on these committees and these subcommittees, um being over there, I literally have people that I know with boots on the ground. So um, and that's it's on both sides, really. And so I I I get all we get all this information and we gotta do something with it. So it was been it's been a pretty week since the bombs start coming for me.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Oh all right. Wow. So it's like I know you know you cannot double, you can't, you know, disclose too much information, but is it sounding bad from what you're saying? You know, war is bad, period, but as far as like statistics statistically, is it bad?

SPEAKER_05 3:05

I think we lost connection with the doctor.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

No there's there's nothing more there's there's there's nothing more to this war over another war. It's just that this one what it is do your history, but this war is gonna have an immediate impact on our civilization, where other wars were slow to have impact. Okay, talking about the shock of you know bombing Pearl Harbor or or our or uh New York City, right? That that had an impact. This war is gonna is is causing an immediate impact on uh our uh I think we lost connection with Dr.

SPEAKER_05 4:06

Die is frozen. Yeah, it's frozen up. Sorry about that, people.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Technical difficulties do occur when you're dealing with the technology, these these these platforms and connections do factor in, do affect the short time, so pardon us for that.

SPEAKER_05 4:40

Technical difficulties. We'll get the good back doctor back on. Let's just see what happens. He he should come back.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Um so don't forget to comment, like, share, subscribe. Do um do do chime in with those that are viewing tonight's show. We're gonna get into a little bit of psychology. As you can see in this world, everything is happening at such a rapid pace. You know, you got situations within your personal life circumstances, you got situations with the Epstein, and now this with the war with Iran and America, and then you you you hearing about you know Russia and Ukraine, then there are other factors, other outside influences, too much stimuli, and you know that does affect a person's psyche, so we're gonna dissect all of this with brother Dyer.

SPEAKER_05 5:43

Apologies for that, for the technical difficulties. Yeah, all as well, brother. I'm happy, man. All is well over here as well, man. We're happy to get back into the flow of things, but it's been a minute.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Doctor Doctor, can you hear me?

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Yeah, I can you can hear me.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Good, I can. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

All right.

unknown 6:30

All right.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Yeah, are you using your phone or your laptop?

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Yeah, I I have to uh get something else, maybe, but um this is good. You can hear me, it's clear, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:52

I hear you. When I speak, there's a feedback. You may have to mute your mic on your end when I'm speaking.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

What about now?

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Let me see, Tess. Let me see, test. Still, still a feedback. Do you hear the echo?

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Do you hear the echo? No, I don't hear it.

Facing The Shadow In The Brain

SPEAKER_02 7:11

No, no, private viewers probably hear it, but it's an echoing at the speaker. So we we may have to do our best with this. All right. Um, so the first question I have, Dr. Tyre being that tonight, we're speaking about facing the shadow, trauma, and personal responsibility. We we're gonna go from you know, foundation up and back up, you know, top to bottom, top to top. How does trauma shape subconscious mind?

SPEAKER_00 7:45

So it here's the thing, you know, when you when you pushed it out to me, I thought about well, of course I thought about it, and and that shadow that we often never mention is the experiences we've had that we must face. Okay, that's that shadow. Whatever that shadow is, that means it's hiding in a darkness and you don't want to face it now. On a conscious level and of the subconscious level, and even in the in the neuropsychic, whenever you repress something, it just builds stronger connections with other things it affects. When you repress something, it builds a connection to other things you have repressed. So, no, no matter how you repress getting into a car accident because you never want to think of it ever again, right? I don't ever want to think of my car accident. Well, that that repressed memory that you never want to talk about will start attaching itself to other circumstances to enhance you not wanting to face it, basically your fears. That's the short answer.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

So okay, so it's like so the repressing those feelings, suppressing it absolutely will eventually reveal itself in other in other facets, right? Like something will trigger it.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Trigger it.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

So so you so um other theorists and philosophers and um psychiatrists and psychology people in psychology, they have always talked about suppressing something, not facing it, you know. Um when we talk about with mental health or trauma, we we always refer to it as um something that happened in your past. And that's true. And it did happen in your past. That's what creates the word trauma. But you you not facing that trauma only causes your own personal demise, it causes your own hardship from there on, and and that's where it affects the conscious mind, because everything starts being dictated by the subconscious mind that never wants to face the fears.

Trauma Triggers And Distorted Reality

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Oh wow, that's so so. This goes in perfectly with the second question is in what ways doesn't trauma distorts the person's perception of reality, like meaning that they're not facing it like so let's let's remember trauma is not collective, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:48

It acts the same, it acts the same in the puppeteer, but there's separate plays going on. I'll get uh what I mean is that you had a car accident, it's not that you won't drive again, but driving really gets you oh right. Um you had a trauma of being beaten up as a kid, yeah, for some reason, whatever reason is, that creates another trauma. You you um yeah, you didn't do well in school, you're not popular in school, or you so something rejected you in your adolescent years, okay. You felt rejected, right? Three different traumas, but they will, if you never face them, they will all trigger each other.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Oh wow, and how and how is how how is that like how can an accident correlates with feeling like rejected, although you said it's not collective, it's separate, but how can one trigger the other trigger the other?

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Well, because of the same so it goes back to where things get implanted into our biological body, it comes into a frequency waveform. That frequency waveform resonates at what it does, but your trauma resonates throughout the board, so it doesn't matter what the trauma was caused by, it resonates at a certain frequency. So anything that attaches itself to the frequency, different traumas, it just enhances the frequency strength and how it plays on other things.

Personal Accountability Through Neuroscience

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Gotcha, make perfect sense. And the reason why we chose this topic tonight, right? Because I respect your work, Dr. I see you out there, you're you're in the many summits conventions, and you're doing a great job out there. You really go into the science of things, and there are a lot of people online, so you know, I don't want to disrespect so-called coaches and gurus that are practic that are practicing like dark psychology whatsoever, and they always they don't really teach the person about accountability, like there's certain things that you couldn't control, you know what I'm saying? Absolutely, certain things you can't control, but they don't teach accountability.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

How do you how do you differ from that in the process of so so I I I I personally differ, I I disagree with a lot of people who are trying to take care of people, I'll put it that way, kindly. I disagree with their methods. Second, I want to help you understand how it came about to take personal responsibility because you've learned the chemistry now. So now that you know what's going on chemically, you take more responsibility of what you're gonna do now to start healing your life. Now the choice is yours. I taught you the chemical, I taught you why do I keep going back to this situation or why do this that situation keeps happening to me? Well, let me teach you what's happening chemically that's functioning in your body and how it induces cravings, endorphins, um uh uh oxytocins, all these different stimulants that affect the brain and wired in the brain. Uh let me teach you the chemistry of why this is what it's doing. Now that you know, right? It's like telling an alcoholic, you're not an alcoholic because you drink, you just if your brain is wired differently, that you make you are into you get intoxicated more than someone else. That's just how you're wired, can't do anything about it, but you're an alcoholic, you can never drink without getting drunk because of the release of chemical. So now that the person knows this, they can either what drink or not drink. Gotcha. So, in the science, once I teach you the science, I don't care if you want to pet rocks, oil your hair with different oils, and and fill your house with different scents, go to a different religious base. It doesn't matter because now that you have the information, you make it personally to your healing recovery.

unknown 16:06

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

That's where I differ.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

I like that. I respect that, Dr. Cause I ask that because I see some some of these people use tactics like I get it with facing the shadow, dealing with that is that you face the issues, take accountability, you work through it. But I see some of these people tend to use a tactic where they try to trigger you, trigger you, and then they always look at other other opportunities to say, Well, you know what? There's another element with you where you're processing that information, you're wrong in this area. That means you stick over here, this and that. They keep using different like that dark psychology tactic. Like, is it is that healthy?

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Is that healthy? No, it's it's it's actually quite evil, it really is evil, right? And here's why here's why here's why I think it's so evil. I think it when people don't have enough understanding of the information, they act out of ignorance. When people never get the right information, even though they're seeking it, they start acting out of foolishness because they'd be made a fool. Either way, they're both hostile. And we just need to catch the people who are hostile, and like, why are you so upset about this? What did you hear? Yo, young blood, let me tell you the truth. Here, young lady, let me tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

So, what does accountability look like for someone healing from trauma? Like, how can we know?

SPEAKER_00 17:53

I I um uh personally going through it, um, watching several people I've uh business relationships, they watch them go through it, it's painful. It's painful because and then so that pain turns into exhaustion, like you you seem like you're tired all the time. Um, things get more fuzzier um as you're going through it, you which is which is in that stage of fuzziness, it's actually the most prominent stage because you have to fully function yourself like, did I grab a can of peanut butter, right? Or a bottle, a jar of peanut butter, right? I that's what I meant to grab, but because you're such a fuzziness, you have to be like, this is peanut butter. Let me develop what I understand peanut butter is so you're inputting so much more back into your life in the fuzzy stage because everything is questionable. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Is that part of something being repressed or not being clear on something else?

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Right, right, right. So now you have time to question, and it's gonna be like, I thought I was something, I thought I was this, or the so the identity issue comes in, which makes it the why people are tired. People focus a lot of things on identity or how someone views them as, or how they see themselves as. But um it it's it's that identity creates a lot of discomfort for people.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

So that's it. Does that allude to generational trauma?

SPEAKER_00 19:51

But it's it's generational because you were you were taught inside the environment that viewed it as a situation and not taught, not teach you what your identity is or needs to be, but what could you make it? There's a different teachings there, you know. Someone could teach you like this is your identity, you come from this type of family, blah blah blah. You know, um, this was what we were, but they often even that person or that child doesn't start taking into account where what do I want to be? I have the information of this and that, but now I need to develop me, and they never develop themselves, they just fall into the same generational verbiage, which creates the same generation habit, no bank account, no savings, you know, no financial literacy, just work real hard, keep your head down, and I'll live my life.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

That is so true amongst a lot of generations, many of my peers, like you know, you know, and that's identity like you raised within a certain environment, and it's like when you go outside that comfort zone outside of circumference, develop your own path. There are many naysayers or those trying to live by characters or through you, and then when you do the difference, they kind of ridicule you. So that also makes it like it makes you feel like all right, so I'm not doing it right because I'm seeking validation from mom or dad or my peers. Maybe if I just follow their path safer for me, like how can one break that break that like to make those around you see you see you for who you who you really are?

SPEAKER_00 21:52

I I think it's trial and error, really. I think we because uh the person may not know what. They are, who they are, what they would like to be, right? It's not something that just says I'm gonna be Spider-Man. Okay, so I have to start developing my Spider-Man persona and tell everyone I'm Spider-Man. Now the people I'm telling that I'm Spider-Man, people I've known are gonna laugh at me. They may even ridicule me. They really may push me outside the community I thought I had as friends. Because now I'm identifying as Spider-Man. So my family may have a discomfort with this, right? That's so, but it's time for this person to really figure out its identity, and the people around them really discard it of their development. That's why most often people start to move away from their what you call centric close circles. And they start to whether it be going to college, whether it be joining a different um thing in high school where your friends are athletes and you join the drama club, right? The whole different segment of finding a place to fit in and and have an identity. This happens.

Identity And Breaking Old Patterns

SPEAKER_02 23:30

That's important. Break the tribe. And being that you know, you're you the reason why Andrew having this conversation is because you're speaking from experience as well, especially somebody in the military from the military experience, all that you have, you gotta go out there to recreate that identity, that collective, but still be an individual in that collective union, union. So to navigate that, that's no that's a lot right there.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

That's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Wow. So how can recognize and emotional triggers lead to personal approach?

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Well, if you recognize that's the great thing, if you recognize something, that means you wanting to become aware. You don't recognize something until you want to become aware. It's it's it's it's it's chemically impossible. I think that's the best way to put it that you know, if you can't recognize something you have never seen, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Okay, so if you see it and don't recognize it, that doesn't make sense, does it? No, so past experiences come through you like something you've seen before that you're denying by saying, I never recognize that.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

You see the negative side of that, exactly, but but a lot of people go through that because they'd be like, I don't see that because you know, you know, like I heard this before, like you're not experiencing me the way I'm experiencing you, but we're so we're so accustomed to our patterns. We think, well, that's the way I'm so used to functioning this way because I you know it usually works the meeting's way to get my way, but you're not seeing a destruction that you're creating along the way, how how it's affecting other people. So for a person to realize that that's a lot of and emotional intelligence and maturity doesn't what does radical self-honesty look like in human in it? I mean, what does what does radical self-honesty look like in trauma killing? I know we we could do the work, whatever, but I can somebody know, like you know what, I've reached that pinnacle where I face my fear.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

I face my i you know, I you know, I work with a lot of nonprofits, um, people with financial literacy, and um just some really incredible business savvy people. And it, you know, it was it's it's it's it's called um it's a resource center for African Americans, right? But it's just it's also there are other resource centers out there, and to look to advance something in whatever you're thinking of being better at, there they're there there there are communities out there that will fold you in and bring you right along with the wave. But the only way you could do that is to open yourself up to vulnerability.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

So it until you stop wanting to be non-vulnerability, you you open yourself to that much riches.

Intimacy And Ego In Trauma Bonds

SPEAKER_02 26:58

Vulnerability is important. Wow, sounds like a father saying that. I heard that before. You must be vulnerable in order to feel, in order to understand, because if not, ice that wall up is pretty much isolating itself. There's no growth there. I like I like how you put that. Why can't intimacy feel threatening to someone with unresolved trauma? I know that's not like the very obvious somebody makes it say it again, Mikey. What why can't why can't intimacy feel threatening to someone with unresolved trauma?

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Well, well, it intimacy means you you're literally sharing your um energy with someone, right? Your body, your physical, your spiritual, you I don't uh whether you whether you whether you don't think you are or not, you are. Okay. So it's it's a non-argument. Your choices are your choices. But when you're unable to perform clarity in your life, intimacy is going to be affected. When you're not able to see clarity in your life, intimacy will be affected. I'm unsure about what time I'm supposed to go to work. I'm unsure if I if I don't wipe up, you know, the smudge on the counter that I left, I don't clean that up before I leave. I I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not sure if washing dishes is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm so unsure of my personal self, right? Um I I don't really have too clarity on most things. Your lack of that that that person that you are, and all those social strengthening developmental issues, you're going to have intimacy problems. Now, the opposite is someone wants to be very bravado. I'm all this, I'm all that, everything that touches tends to go. That will also have a negative impact on intimacy.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Because to be greater than all things, it must make everything that I am, even when I'm with you, quite small. Who wants to feel that small with someone?

SPEAKER_02 30:01

That's true. When you're unsure, wow.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

So if I'm gonna be that small, then I'm just your servant or oppressor.

unknown 30:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

That happens a lot, a lot a lot of relationships, unresolved trauma, step in, especially like we we know unfortunately the taboo in many communities of sexual abuse, um, physical abuse, and uh emotional abuse, and then you get people that end up in these circumstances relationships where where as you say, one is playing a role to the oppressor, the other one is a servant, we get within that within that union, that union, that trauma bond and union, they found some kind of peace. Like, I don't know, I don't want to it sounds crazy, like some kind of understanding ways independence, dependency, prime example, prime example, you know so so it's the reason why it's a prime example, really, yeah, it's because the person doesn't start healing, so they create themselves to being a strict victim, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:11

And they will always be a victim, right? They just don't know why they will always be a victim because they didn't learn the science, and then I and then or you if how about this, Dr. Paul? You're just a geek. I don't need to learn any science about this or that. I just keep dating the wrong person. Okay, it's your fault, change your habit. That that's what a therapist. I mean, at the end of the day, a therapist is really it's your fault. Change your habit. Why is that such a staple on that until we start talking? If the common denominator between you and I is you and I'm a therapist, then all your troubles are your fault. I just gotta get you to figure out why it is your fault. But if you want to keep denying me that it's not your fault, which makes me really understand that it probably is your fault. So that's what ego does. So ego doesn't work. You have to be vulnerable, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

Uh the reason why I was saying prime example, right? Like I put a lot of flack with this. I was saying the situation that we saw last year with this uh Diddy and Cassie situation, right? I I say what Diddy was doing to that young girl was terrible, like physical abuse that that was documented, documented, and the stories we don't know about, but also like the sexual the sexual things that he had her doing. I was like, it was terrible, but I'm like, she also played a part in that. I'm not saying that she um that he was he was wrong because of course psychologically he may have had control over her, but she could have she could have you know you know run out from that situation when it was happening.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

I look at it, I hey Mikey Fever. I look at it this way, you know, drug drug dealers give samples, yeah, so they can come back and get the rest of the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

I think um uh Mr. Combs did that. I think he set women up to believing that they could get a shot at something or something, right? To get something in return, yeah. And and then they fall so deep into being oppressed that they can't see getting away like slavers and slaves who never left the plantation, yeah, yeah. They that's the mental breaking of a human person, and that's why human trafficking is so horrible, because is as long as these people are away from family, the nucleus of family, they're being broken down, and depending on the person, they may eventually break where they're just okay with being a slave.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

That's the part I want to get to. How do your life be broken? Like, you know, I get it, things do happen. Don't get me wrong, it's your will. As you say, if you're weak, if people minded, you fall for it. But if you if you constantly under that abuse and you know it, you know it, but then you stay because you'd be like, Well, this is all I know. I know I like this lifestyle that I that I'm getting, you know, it's not that bad, like or I'm flying, I'm gonna be on a private jet somewhere. It kind of makes you think like you stayed there because the lifestyle, or you were completely hopeless, yes, it so it doesn't it doesn't matter once once I become indoctrinated, that's it, that's it for me.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

I I don't I will not know any other way. Oh man, and and people get indoctrinated because they're not self-thinkers, they don't think about their the which is why it goes back to the healing, you know. To to go through healing, you must be aware, know thyself, yep. So right, you must be aware, and and and and and I said in that healing, it's very fuzzy, it's a lot of pain because you kind of keep reassuring that I am holding, like you you're challenging all things you thought were true to have a new development of belief. That's healing.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

It's crazy. This is why I I question when people join cults and stuff like that. I'm like, yo, how did you fall? Right, right, right. Like, you were you that broken, really? Like, you don't know who you are, that somebody and the and the answer is yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

The answer is yes.

How Emotions Drive The Nervous System

SPEAKER_02 36:43

That's crazy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What role does emotional processing play in healing?

SPEAKER_00 36:56

You know, I I think sometimes we trigger well, I do some the science says we trigger uh uh a feeling with an emotion with an action. I I get pinched, it makes me sad, and then I cry. So we've gone through three things, right? We got with the physical, we got the emotional, then we got an action. I got pinched, it hurt, I'm I feel sad now, now I cry, which is a physical. We don't know what causes what in the chain, which is why it's damaging.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

How does the nervous system respond during trauma recovery?

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Well, uh the nervous system goes with the most popular votes. I'll put it to you that way. Your most popular votes is saying to react this way with a flinch or a shiver, um, or any other physical anomaly that could happen, right? It gets that information from the brain that's saying we need a strong reaction because this was not called for, and we need to respond physically with something, so all that information's being fed to all these different parts of the body to give you that millisecond of oh, right, but you don't know why it made you that way, so it could be attached to other things like trauma does to cause you that same reaction, so it's strengthening it now.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

You make sense, perfect sense. So um, as far as transferring trauma and growth, right? How can trauma lead to increased emotional intelligence? Like once you go through the process of the healing and everything else, like does that give you the once you apply the tools that uh therapist may give you uh within your arsenal, does that help you increase emotional intelligence?

SPEAKER_00 39:39

No, um emotional intelligence comes from after you know your emotional self. You you you cannot have emotional intelligence and also be working on your emotional self, okay? Um, because the things you are learning after you've completely discovered yourself is so much, which is why it turns into intelligence because it's information that you understand. Gotcha.

When Calm Looks Like Dismissal

SPEAKER_02 40:15

So I have a question. This is off the whim. Is being stoic part of part of emotional intelligence? You say it's being stoic forward like being stoic, like things not getting under your skin, not allowing things to get under your skin, being in control of your emotion.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Because you know, some people take it as no, no, I could because the because the problem I have is the control part. We we shouldn't have we shouldn't want control, um, because that builds the ego, and we we know we I talked about where ego can get you, right? Because we don't want to be in control, we want to be understanding for ourselves. So for so for what whatever happens at the moment, it's happening, I understand why it's happening, and I and so I'm connected. Um it's like a central uh circulatory loop. I I'm I'm fully engaged in all things what's happening at this moment.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

Gotcha. I'm glad you said that because um because um I don't know if I articulate correctly, but there are times where I really uh really uh I question sometimes like why is this not bothering me? And I think as you said, I'm aware of my emotions, I'm like, I must process this first before I react. I want to respond. Yeah, I react. So you know, you know, it may come off as me being dismissive, but it's not being dismissive.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

I'm just like no, no, it's not, and and and and the reason why it comes off to those who think from the perception of being dismissed is because they've never seen calm. They've seen chaos, they understand that they've seen reluctance, they've probably seen that. They've seen defensiveness, they've seen that, they've seen aggressiveness, and they've seen that. Well, but when a person's actually a thinker, it's it's miskewed as being condescending.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm glad you articulated that correctly. That's how I'll be feeling. I'm like, I'm not being dismissive, I'm just disgusted. I'm just yeah, I think emotional intelligence, like you say, experiencing certain things and knowing that there are times where language can be misconstrued, tonality. I'm like, all right, let me just refrain.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

You know what the tough Mikey, you know what the tough part about it is is that when you hear a person rattle that type of noise, and you're just saying to yourself, man, they're so missing, they don't understand themselves, right? There is no nice way of saying that to the other person. You know, like as far as what we consider as um PC or pub uh public correctness and things like that, it the other person would be like, so why aren't you upset? Yeah, because the truth, the truth answer is I hear you're you are erratic behavior and you don't have all the facts.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

That's what I want to tell her, tell this person, but that turns that into such an evil, like, how dare. You yeah, you know what I mean? So we keep our mouths shut, which makes it worse because now it we're like, you have nothing to say, nothing you really want me to say.

Forgiveness And Post-Traumatic Growth

SPEAKER_02 44:17

I'm glad you said that because you know there are times you look at them like I'm not being condescending, like as you mentioned, it's your behavior, and I'm like, you know what? I'll wait so we get to clear space. I'm allowing you to vent, you're giving you the space to vent. Go ahead, go ahead. But I'm not gonna you know partake in this at the moment. I'm just gonna sit back and contemplate what what what steps should be taken to bring some resolve to this matter. Right, but they want they want you to be like, come on, like don't you don't you not care? You know, uh uh. I appreciate that. Um what does post-traumatic growth growth look like psychologically? Psychologically you know, you you mean the uh you're talking about the group or post-traumatic disorder post post-traumatic post-traumatic post-traumatic post-matic so well, I mean uh the post-past trauma that that had happened.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

Um you it is a simple it is a simple way of saying I'll never forget, but you can forgive.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

Perfectly said, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:41

So history is history, you know, history doesn't take sides, you know, people take sides, humans take sides, so and um and humans give um labels to things that's informational, which why I've always said there's no trauma can happen twice, they're too separate. Even though the act may have been similar, they're not the same. But humans like to run the trail cars together, keep buckling cars together, right? So now they have this huge train of things that's happened to them that they consider to be one trauma. And so they rushed the process because it was going to go there anyway until you face them.

unknown 46:41

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 46:42

No, that makes perfect sense.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

So so they rush the process. Now the process is being taken over by the subconscious. So the subconscious is like, oh, yeah, just load that onto the back of the car. So it's loading its train, no matter how long this train is. The subconscious keeps adding on to these cards because for all the previous cards we haven't dealt with. So the subconscious know this is a working, this is the working order. Just add up to the cards, add up to the cards, and then you derail. Yeah, you will you will derail. There's we're talking that this is still mathematically science engineering. Your body will derail, your mind will derail.

SPEAKER_02 47:35

So self-compassion, compassion, compassion of self, self-compassion, and forgiveness are very essential for the healing part for recovery, right? Because you know, I know this people go through like safe lessons, go through like forces, breakups, whatsoever. And it could be like 10 plus years later. I one of the parties are still angry, like you'd be like, damn, like after all these years, you still feel better. Like you, you, you're you're you're trying to convince yourself that you're not, but your behavior is so different. What is what is holding them back? Is that a chemical imbalance, or are they just stuck in a rut at that moment?

SPEAKER_00 48:14

You know, you know, some things Freud got right in a lot of his um uh adolescent studies, yeah. And self-gratification when when people are young, men or men or women, played a very strong part on their future development, not knowing how to take care of self. You can look at it as this um um as a sexual thing, but it's not, it's growth development. And boy or girl will find ways to have self-gratification, and if they didn't or shamed or denied, that takes a negative turn to all the other processes you look at. Freud got those things right, it goes back to a repressed sexual unhealthy function.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Wow, arrested development, just stuck in the face of not forgiveness. This is why forgiveness is so important, so important, it's so important.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

Correct, correct.

Journaling To Strengthen Consciousness

SPEAKER_02 49:30

Oh my god, thank you, Dyer for breaking that down. Um does journaling help in the process, somebody somebody decides to journal and stuff. Does that help the process of like self-reflection in the work of healing?

SPEAKER_00 49:51

How how would it be applied?

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Like like that's the good one, right there. Like, say like say, for instance, hey, you're a therapist and you tell them, you know, write down what makes what triggers you, why does that trigger you?

SPEAKER_00 50:05

Is it a term the person's using using is this yeah, is it I I because I do that all the time. Now it's it's almost like whether people do it or not, because it takes that's the work. Like I used to bodybuild and I got I went to the Nationals as a natural heavyweight. Um for years, I wrote down everything I ate. I knew exactly how many calories were coming into my body. Not one grain of anything, I did not know what was coming in and what I wanted to produce for to get out of it. When a person doesn't write down, it's not notes, it's your thoughts to you so you can understand where you're at. It's not for you to hand it over to someone, it's like I gotta eat at seven, oh I gotta take my meditation today at seven. What what you you have to be diligent in the action because your subcont your subconscious has been working against you for so many years, so you have to strengthen consciousness to defeat unconsciousness.

SPEAKER_02 51:33

Beautifully said, Dr. Dye. I appreciate that. Oh my god, I'm taking a lot of notes in myself mentally. I'm like, you know what? That's what it took. That's what it took. You know, I had my personal share of trauma growing up, and I had to like again for me. What worked for me, like you said, the self-awareness, my consciousness, everything else. I had to mentally replay those events. You understand and say what part I played and what part I didn't, you know, get the sent to, but you know, take my uh accountability and shride and be like what that would never happen again. I would not allow my emotions to get the best of me. I would not, I would not, you know, I wouldn't know what triggers and strengthen like what is triggering me is the weakness. There's no strength in that. Why is it triggering? You know, so I don't know, man. I appreciate that. I appreciate it. It's like a session.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

It's just a simple answer. If you're afraid to face your shadows, then they turn into darkness, and in the darkness starts maneuvering everything against you. So face your shadows first. If you don't want to do that, they'll dip in the darkness, and now you don't know what the heck they're doing.

Contacting Dr. Paul W. Dyer

SPEAKER_02 52:54

That's a fact, man. You'd be all over the place. That's important, man. That being said, thank you, Dr. Dyer, for coming out, brother. When can people reach you at? They want to have a session with you.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

If they just want to reach out to me, I um you can my email is easy. It's D-R-P-A-U-L-W-D-Y-E-R at gmail.com. So it's dr paulwdier at gmail.com. That's the simplest way to get me. Um, you can always search on any platform and find out how to get a hold of my inbox and things like that. But um just my email. You can send me an email, uh D-R-P-A-U-L-W-D-Y-E-R at gmail.com.

Humanitarian Fallout And Collective Healing

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Gotcha, right here. Appreciate you pulling out my brother, man. On that, on that job you're doing with uh the with the people that's that are that have the boots in the ground out there, man. Yeah, yeah, groups, man. You know, uh, you know, uh unfortunately, we initially we in this hope, you know it could come to the end because I know it's gonna be a lot of people with issues, unfortunately. Things they're gonna be seeing out there, you know.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Yeah, because there's a lot of starving people that's happening in and and then of course there's there's there's killings that are going on and in Sudan and then the Congo, there's tons of slaughter that's going on in the Congo at the same time right now. Uh, people don't hear about that, and also people don't hear about the food just not getting around the world because of the shipping lanes has been cut short because of the war, like I said before. Um, and people get food from countries that you may not think they should get food from, but it's food for them. You want to talk about why why did they pick them and could they pick someone else? And those that's not the issue. And I don't think you would be concerned about an issue if your supermarket had the rights you wanted, and then it's you will you will go there. So um there's a there's a lot of humanity issues that are unfolding every day, every every you know, so medications. Um it but we're trying to we're trying to fix it, trying to clean up some um lines of transports without them getting blown up.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

So yeah, fortunately, it's it's it's here, it's the ponders. So especially, you know, you know the world, man, just need some like collective healing. It's important. The world needs collective healing for years, like we just keep being bombarded with information every day. You know, your your smart device, your television, carry, the music. Like there's not a point where the world could go still and just heal. Fortunately, that that's something that I doubt that would ever happen. So let's just hope for the better.

SPEAKER_00 56:08

Well, we we we hope it happens, but they're just not not in the foreseeable future.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

No, not now. People operating off equal, man. With that being said, Dr. Nye, I appreciate you, my brother, for coming out. It's been a while. You gotta come back, man. You know, it's been a while. We miss you on here, man. And thank you again. You're doing a great job out there, man. Salute to you, brother.

Final Thanks And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_00 56:30

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 56:31

All right, with that being said, people, we out.