Will You Survive... The Podcast

Will You Survive Our Third Tier List

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This episode serves up a hilarious and chaotic examination of survival films through an entertaining tier list format that sparks spirited debates. Tune in as we dissect iconic disaster movies, discussing their implausibility, emotional impact, and our criteria for survival ratings. 

• Engaging discussions centered around specific movies, highlighting survival mechanics
• Humorous banter showcasing different perspectives on film critiques 
• Insightful dialogue about the emotional and psychological aspects of survival narratives
• A playful yet critical tier ranking of various disaster and survival films
• Audience is encouraged to consider their own strategies for survival in fictional scenarios and real life

Speaker 1

Hello everybody and welcome to. Will you Survive the?

Speaker 2

Podcast.

Speaker 3

That, redo that, redo that.

Speaker 1

No, no, I'm not going to redo it, I'm the host Shut up.

Speaker 3

I'm the editor and that sounded like shit. I would like the podcast coming in.

Speaker 1

We're coming in hot because, truthfully, if I'm being an honest mediator here, alex came in very hot for the live don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Speaker 2

Yeah, well, we're in a mood we're in a hostile mood off your fucking high horse we all feel very new yorkish right now organic.

Speaker 1

Well, that's actually a compliment, because right now that's worth a lot of money, so screw you.

Speaker 3

Not you host Him. He's the browner one.

Speaker 2

I am an organic egg, Fuck you. I'm healthy. You're also bald.

Speaker 3

You look like a wicker basket. What does that mean? I don't know, it's the first thing that came to my head, okay.

Speaker 1

All right, that mean, I don't know, I was the first thing that came to my head. Okay, all right. Well, we're moving on from that.

Speaker 2

We got something a little special, oh wait I didn't even introduce you guys that alex be your hostile self for a second.

Speaker 1

That's me and tj looks like bacon. Okay, tj, be your hostile self for a second, yeah fuck you, you fucking brown green.

Speaker 3

You look like a fucking stand-in for the motherfucker in Blue's Clues.

Speaker 2

You know what Clearly that's the white side coming out of you. You are like way racist today.

Speaker 3

Blue Skidoo we can too.

Speaker 2

That is the total white side of TJ.

Speaker 1

Blue.

Speaker 3

Skidoo. Can you find the property?

Speaker 2

Listen to this guy Can you find the border? Can you find the property? Listen to this guy Can you find the border?

Speaker 3

Can you find my wife? You look like a turducken Long neck, okay.

Speaker 1

All right, the turducken finalizes that we're done. Okay, normally this is not this chaotic I have no control here, as I never do when I'm host. Somehow I don't know what you're talking about and normally on this podcast we pick a movie or we pick a show and we decide to watch it and then talk about it and we discuss different survival situations within that movie or show, how we would approach those situations and any other survival tips we have, along with just the natural shenanigans, as I'm sure you can tell. But this time we're at the end of our season, which calls for our not annual, probably more like semi-annual, biannual, biannual, biannual tier list that was a crazy waveform I just made yeah, that was excitement.

Speaker 1

You mean the block that you just. There are no waves in that form. There were no waves in that waveform. I literally know what that looks like it's just black. It was good, that was excitement. Well, that was. It was something. I feel honored to host this episode. So I think there's no shot that I properly segue this after what's happened in this intro. So I think we should just kind of get into the first. Oh, actually, before we get into the first movie, I guess I should probably introduce our tears this time around.

Speaker 2

Oh.

Speaker 1

OK, so up at the top we have Legendary.

Speaker 2

Shaun of the Dead Legendary, it should just be called Shaun of the Dead adjacent not on this episode, and also no, our official tier list says no.

Speaker 3

Shaun of the Dead is ass.

Speaker 2

Shaun of the Dead is the category legendary hey.

Speaker 1

TJ, you just gained 8 points. My man, you're back at 0. Legendary, hey TJ. Hey TJ, you just gained eight points, my man, you're back at zero. Let's go Legendary. Then we have S tier, a, tier B, tier, c tier, f tier and garbage. That is just the utter garbage. Bottom of the barrel. Bad.

Speaker 3

Zombies the beginning, mr Host, sir. Yes, I feel like it should be changed. I think garbage should just be Garbo. I think Garbo hurts me, okay actually that is a solid.

Speaker 1

I didn't trust you at first, but, Garbo.

Speaker 3

Yeah, you are right, garbo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

All right, we ready to get into our first movie? Yeah, First. We ready to get into our first movie? Yeah, First. Up we have 2012. Where are we putting this bad boy? Quick recap the world is ending. Massive tidal waves are covering the entire Earth, decimating everything in their path. I love tidal waves and the governments weird fact about Alex. The governments of the world decided to make these titan ships and this movie follows a family who narrowly escapes Los Angeles and manages to sneak their way onto one of these titans.

Speaker 2

Can I read the most awesome description on this episode?

Speaker 1

I feel like I just did it, but okay, no, no, no, no you you should have read our description.

Speaker 2

Oh, this is fantastic oh from like the episode from spotify yeah, ever wondered what might happen if the world started cracking open like an egg and a limo became your getaway car? Feast your ears as we humorously tackle the 2009 disaster film 2012, while munching through a muck bang and dipping into some asmr. Sorry, I never laughed through these, but this is great. From the impossible escapades of jackson curtis to imagining nicholas Cage stepping into John Cusack's shoes, we speculate on how the Fast and Furious crew might handle apocalyptic mayhem with their usual panache. It's the ultimate disaster movie breakdown, with a twist of humor and a dash of cinematic disbelief. That is an epic description, you're welcome.

Speaker 1

I was going to say I think we should.

Speaker 3

Okay, I skimmed through those. I skimmed through them.

Speaker 1

So well, well, where does it land? Where does 2012 land B?

Speaker 3

So here's how Hang on, how good the movie is, yeah hang on one second, you.

Speaker 1

You you said did you hear him? What? Did you hear his rating? No, okay, I. I don't know if I believe you, but I'll believe you. I think the way I want to handle this one is I'll have you both say it at the same time and then we'll go one at a time. Why you would rate it that way? I'm open for any criteria. My criteria is it's a little bit of a mix of things. I am considering how good of a movie it is okay, or show, but I'm also considering, um, how survivable I think it really is, yep, and whether or not well, I mean, that's pretty much it, yeah whether or not you even stand a chance to survive it. Those are kind of my criteria and they both kind of contradict each other.

Speaker 1

So, in some cases. So we'll see where that goes. I do have an idea of where I think all of these should land and points will be assigned if you agree with me. If not, I'm not saying my opinion is opinion is the all, uh, the the all, be all, okay. So do you guys have your, your ratings in mind? Yep, okay, ready. Yep, three, two, one C C tier Okay, uh, alex, why?

Speaker 2

I thought that the? Uh, while the movie was exciting, it was fast paced, it was great. It was extremely unbelievable in many different facets the way that uh, the way that they got through la in a limousine, um, the way that the limousine withstood every single freaking impact and jumps, and which was why our description talked about fast and the furious, how ridiculous those movies are, and also the fact that the? Uh, the entire movie was surrounding this. Um, it was, it was plot armor to the max that kept the this family together and alive. Of course, and um, it was just, it was ridiculous. But I did enjoy a lot of the uh, a lot of the cgi. I enjoyed the. My favorite part was, honestly, the tsunamis.

Speaker 1

When it hit the White House. That was crazy.

Speaker 2

That aircraft carrier come flying in.

Speaker 3

Okay, tj, because everything goes under the sea in this movie.

Speaker 1

Okay, alright, I hate to give you an extra point for that, but I will.

Speaker 2

What the hell.

Speaker 1

That was very bad. This is rigged.

Speaker 2

That was really bad how is he getting a?

Speaker 1

point. Come on, he rated it c because everything goes under the c. Are you kidding me? That's dumb it's c?

Speaker 3

tier material.

Speaker 1

It's perfect. It's just, c's all around. I will say I was a little more in the middle about this. I thought completely unsurvivable but very fun movie. So I put it in b.

Speaker 3

But uh, you guys both said c so that's one point for each of you really not survivable, like in the slightest but good movie, but I think the not survivability part lowers it all. Right, yeah, you're taking both into account, but also yeah, well that's why.

Speaker 1

That's why for me it hit straight in the center with b, with b, but I I'm not gonna fight c, I I don't really think this movie's that great, uh. So both you get one point, tj, you get plus one point for under the sea lame. Next up we have a show I think it was our first show, our first tv series that we've done on Will you Survive the Podcast. Pretty exciting stuff we did. All of Us Are Dead.

Speaker 3

All my friends are dead. Push me to the edge.

Speaker 1

Do we have a rating in mind?

Speaker 3

Yes, yes Okay.

Speaker 1

Ready Three, two, one.

Speaker 2

S tier.

Speaker 1

Ooh, okay, tj YA.

Speaker 3

oh okay, uh, tj ya I think that is very good series, but not like. It's like. I wouldn't say like, because I'm taking both into account survivability and how good the movie is, so great. So I think s tier show a tier survivability like. I feel like there was a lot like they could have done better in order to survive and I personally think I could survive because I'm a big black dude and they're all little small.

Speaker 3

That is true you just stiff on them and they're done um, also, you're like versus the fucking government too, like they're bombing shit, so like a little less right up your alley, um. But yeah, that's why I say a okay, alex ys no, that I think it was close to masterpiece level.

Speaker 2

There were some flaws, there were some questions, so I can't call it a masterpiece, but being that, it gave you good, uh, a good emotional tug. It gave you a lot, of, a lot of reason to invest in the show and kept you watching, kept you interested, changed the way you looked at a zombie movie. And then it put you in a different environment. You're in a school which just absolutely sucks other than Resident Evil 2. Absolutely sucks, um, other than resident evil 2 and um, I think that's the only one that did it in a school that did a zombie, but it wasn't even really zombie-esque. It was the kids which really creeped me the heck out yeah, these were at least teenagers.

Speaker 2

Yeah, these are like high schooler kids, so it's less creepy I thought it was pretty cool that they were all very athletic, so that made it easier for them to do all the things they were doing. Um, it told the story well and it showed I think it made a believable argument for why they would have survived the way they did. So I thought it. I thought it deserves an s-tier rating. Uh loved pretty much everything about it in our tiktok live.

Speaker 1

Desta said, black Summer had an episode in a school. I don't remember. I never got into Black Summer.

Speaker 3

That's African American Summer to you, okay.

Speaker 1

I'm not going to lie. That is one of my favorite jokes of all time to do Anytime someone's like can you hand me the Black Sharpie? I'm like that's African American Sharpie.

Speaker 2

I've watched Black Summer.

Speaker 1

I just don't remember that I I really feel like, alex, you're gonna think I'm cheating you here you are cheating me. I'm gonna give you a point for african-american summer lame okay, now for my opinion on this.

Speaker 1

I think this is a tier and I I agree with tj. So, tj, you also get the point for that. The reason I think it's A tier is because not only do I think that it's not the most survivable situation, I think there were some points that on my second watch through it was a bit silly and I get it was just a stylistic thing. I think it was kind of more like the kind of like how Korean dramas kind of play out sometimes. I think particularly at the end when namra jumped off of the building and it was like this super, almost like anime style, like dramatic jump off and I don't know it kind of like the rest of the show was so serious.

Speaker 1

It was just such a sudden tonal shift and it was on purpose, but it just wasn't really my thing and I do agree that there was other things they could have done better, but all in all, this is an incredible show.

Speaker 3

They do that's kind of like um kind of how squid game ended where, like all of a sudden, he was a badass yeah, like I don't know, that doesn't appeal me, but I'm not saying it's bad, I think it's incredible.

Speaker 1

I would be willing to put this in legendary, actually, because I think it I don't know because I do agree this is like. This is so close to a masterpiece. It's such a good, it's such an incredible good's not even a good descriptor of that. It's an incredible addition to the genre and it adds a lot of different perspectives that we haven't seen really from other movies, such as the school setting, but being inside of it and like that's the whole thing it's. I mean, they do go outside actually towards like the later end of the season, but they have ultimately come back. So I don't know, I think it's a.

Speaker 2

I get it. What you're saying is you should give it an s? Tier and I should get the point, but you're rigging this, so tj gets the point, okay hostility here.

Speaker 1

Yeah, he's just, you deserve it.

Speaker 3

Host next everything's safe and okay at home, where you deserve it. Blink if you need help. He's just rapidly blinking.

Speaker 2

I'm stuck in this room with Eric and you're competing against me.

Speaker 1

It is actually really hot in here. Next up we've got Bird Box. Now I've got opinions about this movie. You guys have your ratings. Yes, Okay, ready, Three, two, one B. Okay, Alex, why B?

Survivability Ratings - Movie Reviews

Speaker 2

Because I thought it was a clever movie. It was well done. They gave you enough for your imagination to go wild. They didn't give you so much that it became a free-for-all where you knew exactly what was hunting them, why it was hunting them, all of that. But it also explained the quote-unquote madness and you got to your destination. You did everything in this manner. That would be virtually impossible for any of us, but clearly this is a reasonable thing. When you look outside and see there's blind people every day and I loved that they answered that question at the end where it was all blind people who were living in that colony. That was the survivability. That was really how simple just close your freaking eyes. So it was fun. It was explained. It was really survivable on an easy basis. When you think about who survived and not just the mentally ill but all of the others and I thought that that made it a worthwhile watch and in our genre it made it a survivable situation.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 3

TJ. Why Garbobo? So I think survivability pretty easy just blind yourself. True, like it's, the people go blind all the time. Live happy, full lives. Um garbo movie, though, and I think that just absolutely melts the other side of the uh the fact. So I think garbo because it's garbo and also if you listen to our episode you can tell it's a little garbo okay to be fair, if I do recall, we were also all very tired that episode um no, it wasn't that I was tired.

Speaker 2

It was I was tired of tj's shit side note again has anyone seen. You deserve it?

Speaker 1

Have either of you seen Bird Box Barcelona? No, no, I haven't either. I am slightly curious.

Speaker 3

I thought you were going to be like, oh, minus two points. It's actually Minus two to both of you.

Speaker 1

No, I've never seen it. I was just curious if either of you had an opinion on you should have watched it.

Speaker 1

So here's the thing I like b for bird box. That's funny. Uh, you didn't say that, but that's what I thought of. If you had said that, I might have just given you the point right away. But I will say I do think this point is actually going to go to alex, because I don't think it's quite garbo, but I don't think it's a good movie. I was kind of teetering between c and f, but damn, that's a big jump.

Speaker 3

No, oh there's no, yeah, there's no sir, I got, uh, I got something, something to say. Sure, I actually want to change my answer. Uh b for bird box oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 1

No, um between, I was teetering between c and f, but I think f is too harsh and I think garbo is too harsh because ultimately it is a well-made movie. It has a great actress, it is a well thought out story. It's not really my vibe and I I do think the survivability is really simple, but I I think it's harder than we think, mr host.

Speaker 3

Mr um, but I was. I think c is pretty fair that's I.

Speaker 1

I don't like sandra that much b for bullock.

Speaker 3

It should be b for bird box bullock, because that's one of the characters boy true, yeah, she, uh, she got a ward, him boy I get that reference.

Speaker 1

So I think that one's going to go to Alex. I think You're not ready. I think C's fair, because you said B, he said Garbo and I think C. Okay, so I think I'm going to put it in C. Now, if we're going to categorize within the categories, do we think it's better than 2012? No, I don't think so either. I think 2012 is more fun. Okay, time check, we're okay.

Speaker 3

We're good.

Speaker 1

Buried. That's a recent one we just did with Ryan Reynolds, so you guys have a rating.

Speaker 3

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1

Ready Three, two, one F, b for buried. Okay, well, tj gets the point. No, mine was F for fucked yeah, but B for buried.

Speaker 3

I knew when I said bird box, he was going to do that. That's the obvious joke. How?

Speaker 2

are you going to give him the point for the?

Speaker 1

obvious joke. We have A for all of us are dead.

Speaker 2

That's not why I did that.

Speaker 1

Well, we also didn't put Bird Box in B, so Buried has to go in B. I agree, but that was my original rating. But I do still want to know why. Why F? Because it fucking sucked.

Speaker 2

That's fucking crazy. Everything about it. Everything about it. No, actually it's because I'm siding with my wife. We are absolutely anti ryan reynolds. Uh, fuck that guy. Now I have to side with my wife that is, oh, my god but the, uh, the movie itself number one.

Speaker 2

I felt claustrophobic. I couldn't stand it. I I really didn't like how they played with you the entire time. Um, I guess in you know, of course, survivability is nil. There is no surviving. I would say, uh, you have the government trying to to screw you over, you have the um, you have your company who, just, you know, fuck you, you're fired, right. That's another reason why I chose f and they leave you to, you know, survive on your own or to die buried alive. They didn't give a shit and it was just an all-around screwed up, massively fucked situation. It has to be F.

Speaker 3

Okay, TJ B, because it's buried Also. It's a good movie. I like the movie. It's a good movie. Solid. It's a solid, mid-tier, enjoyable watch. It stresses you the fuck out, which is like a good stress. Also, who gives a fuck what ryan reynolds and his wife were doing? I don't give a fuck me and yeah, so me and eric were reading kanye west tweets earlier. We don't give a fuck what these people are doing. They're not a part of our lives his tweets are so funny.

Speaker 1

They're, they're really bad but they're so funny no object. Come on, it's so funny that someone would post that that's crazy. The stuff that he's posting is wild. It's very amusing, um, but for anyone who doesn't know, ryan reynolds blake lively apparently. Uh, there's a whole lawsuit going on. Apparently they suck. I don't know much about it, but Corinne is infatuated with that whole situation, so she's been keeping up to date, I wouldn't use the word infatuated, I would say I would say invested.

Speaker 2

She's very invested in the lawsuit.

Speaker 1

Now my opinions on Buried. I think any movie that takes place in one location only is a really bold attempt, because that's hard Movies where it's like most of the movie you're stuck in an elevator, it's like okay, at what're stuck in an elevator, it's like okay, at what point is this not just really boring? And buried kept me entertained. It has its flaws. Uh, the biggest, the the two biggest, the first being that he would not have enough oxygen for very long, and the second one being you should never start a fire in a closed coffin when you're buried underground. So those two are pretty big, which are what would dock it for me down to be. But the rest of the movie is pretty solid. It's a pretty decent movie. It keeps you entertained and I think it's impressive that it keeps your attention the whole time, whole time. So that's my thoughts on buried. Very well said, shut up ass kiss.

Speaker 2

All right, wipe that off your nose b for buried next one looks like my nose shut up I just watched a standing cartwheel 69 right here, disgusting okay, next one Evil Dead Rise.

Speaker 1

Oh God, do we have ratings?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

All right, three, two, one Garbo.

Speaker 3

There's no D. You did not see oh. Okay, well, that point goes to Alex. Watch the opening part where she gets like sawbladed by the frickin' the what's it called Like quadcopter drone.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah.

Speaker 3

And then I, like, didn't have enough time to watch the rest.

Speaker 1

All right. Well, alex, also, we talked about earthquakes, the entire episode.

Speaker 3

It was fucking funny.

Speaker 2

Why, garbo, there is no surviving that. Situation number one is no surviving that? That situation number one? Number two uh, why did the? Why did the demon just stop chasing the girl and go after the new girl the next morning? Uh, why did it decide to follow her to that cabin? Why? Why did it? It? It just left this apartment complex that it was haunting uh for the whole night. And why did nobody else get possessed by this thing? Everything about it was ridiculous that it zeroed in on these people and on their floor but nobody else. It's like what? What kind of freaking crackerjack spirit is this? It's supposed to be a deadite. This is supposed to be based on previous uh iterations, this movie of this genre, and it was absolutely terrible. They did a horrible job of it. I wish they would have left it alone. Evil Dead with Ash Williams rules this one sucked.

Speaker 1

All right, I don't have all that much info, but it is kind of a pretty bad movie.

Speaker 3

It is a mid-tier horror movie, but in a really bad Evil Dead movie.

Speaker 1

I was going to say F-tier, but I'm okay with Garbo, stick that in there.

Speaker 2

And we did talk about earthquakes the entire time, because everything else was pointless to talk about.

Speaker 1

I remember it so well. Next up our most recent one, frozen. I elsa me too I think oh lost my favorite though yeah, now do we have ratings. Sven love sven, just uh, just so you know that's not out yet, but it will be oh right, well, we'll give us kind of a sneak peek on the live, just for our peeps. Okay, do we have a rating?

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 1

Crap, yes, okay, three, two, one B F for Frozen. I'm not going to do it again, but that's pretty good, I wasn't even thinking about it. Do you want to pick a different one?

Speaker 3

Yeah, I personally think that it would probably be legitimately F.

Speaker 1

Okay, well, I had to think about it for a second.

Speaker 3

I think it's F.

Speaker 1

I like the doubling down. What Now? What did you say? Again? I said B. Okay, let's start with the more reasonable one. Why did you say B?

Chairlift Survival Rating Discussion

Speaker 2

I said B because they embellished a lot. There's a lot of plot weaponry. Ski lift cables are not razor sharp, they're very smooth. The areas underneath.

Speaker 2

Lifts are not plowed, they're not compact, they're very soft and loose. Ski resorts do many. They take many precautions to not allow this to happen. It's not just a very simple like hey, there's three people who are going to come down. As soon as you see three people, like that's the end of it all. Doesn't happen that way.

Speaker 2

Um, wolves don't attack humans. The way they made it out, they were like just exclusively hunting these people. And, by logic, um, if you, if you look up this movie, it's even said if wolves were to attack that fast, they would actually be plucking off skiers routinely, like that would be a problem that the resort would have if they were looking for humans just like they did in the movie. Uh, but, with all of the flaws aside, again being stuck in one position keeping my attention was impressive, making me absolutely despise all of them but at the same time, be too invested to turn it off to make me actually feel some kind of way for their survival, and being actually a little dismayed that the two boys didn't survive and being a little happy that the girl did survive. I thought they did a very good job in presenting the movie, despite all of the plot weaponry, so I think it deserved a good, solid b it was it was good.

Speaker 1

It is interesting because it's not that common that you see plot weaponry and it's not. It's even less common that you see so much of it right in one movie. A lot of times it's plot armor that you see, yep, but there's a lot of plot weapons in this. Uh, tj, why f?

Speaker 3

because he didn't watch it horrible final destination acting easily survivable. Um yeah, no, just so they're. They're really dumb in this movie, just kind of irritatingly dumb, in fact I will say like what the fuck was their plan? Like doing most of the shit they were doing, you know, like they didn't even think of any other, like they're just like I'm gonna do know if doing it differently would have really helped.

Speaker 1

But the fact that you didn't even try is absurd. It's crazy, it's dumb. So many bad.

Speaker 3

I kind of do agree with that. When the snow is pelting their face, why didn't they put on their fucking hoods and masks that they had on their face?

Speaker 1

he literally had goggles and he just didn't put them on. Oh, it's like razor blades?

Speaker 3

Yeah, because it's hitting your face. You have a face covering.

Speaker 1

I do remember that.

Speaker 2

I agree with all of that. It was ridiculous in those particular points, but clearly this was what would you say? Directing, wanting to make them show their face, stuff like that, and they were goofs. What I will? I will also point out that even imdb called out those goofs, so I think tj just went to imdb to find all of the goofs to complain about it, did not?

Speaker 1

solid point um, you said b, yeah, okay, I don't know if I agree with B or F. I think it's a very C-tier movie. The reason I say that is because no, it's not.

Speaker 2

It's C for chairlift.

Speaker 1

C is close to F, it's C for chair. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, chairlift. I think a lot of plot weaponry, but honestly, to me it makes it kind of more interesting because but it's, it is kind of like Final Destination, it is. So TJ has that point where it's like this would never happen at all, None of it would.

Speaker 2

And then but Final Destination is a guilty pleasure of mine too.

Speaker 1

I think the one that that, the one thing about this movie that bugs me the most is when you, when you let us know that those, uh, those lines are smooth, yeah, not razor sharp, and I'm like, well, that's just a straight up fabrication of Because they had to. It's just a different reality now.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

But whatever, I still thought I agree with you. It doesn't all take place in one location, quite like Barry does, right, but it still does in a sense, and by the end, watching her crawl her way all the way to that road, it was I understood what you meant. Where it's that relief of like, oh my, I'm so happy she made it? Right so I don't think it's f, I don't think it's b I think it's c complete luck.

Speaker 3

That's the only way she fucking made it.

Speaker 1

Honestly. The other guy, joe, I think his name was he should have made it. He should have made it.

Speaker 3

Should have made it and she shouldn't have. But because of horror movies there has to be a final girl or whatever. So this dumb bitch who should have been glued to the seat by her fucking pee-sickles.

Speaker 2

I'm stealing Josh's.

Speaker 1

It her fucking pee sickles. I'm stealing josh's. It's b for bad movie. I know I I was actually gonna give josh credit for that. I was gonna say that that's uh b for bad movie is very funny um but yeah, I think I'm gonna. I think c is.

Speaker 2

We watched a lot of very mid-tier movies this season guys, if I could steal tj's reasoning, can I have a point? Sure, what the fuck for final destination ripoff?

Speaker 1

good attempt.

Speaker 3

I won't give it to you if I steal what he just said, can I have a point?

Survival Movie Tier List Ranking

Speaker 1

no, I'm gonna give Alex plus one TJ because I think I agree more with him. But I'm gonna put it in C tier, I think above bird box yeah, okay do we all agree? Yeah, okay, moving on. Next movie Leave the World Behind, ooh.

Speaker 3

If there was an R, it'd be R for racist. Do we have? The wife was so fucking racist in this. She was just like. I don't like him.

Speaker 1

Do we have a rating? Do we have what? Do we have a rating? Yes, oh boy. Yeah, I think I do okay, three, two, one, a oh for bombshell we're close for bomb shelter, that's where.

Speaker 2

That's how it ended okay, can I change mine to f for friends oh, oh, shit man this tier list is gonna be the most this, this it's not an f?

Speaker 1

tier this tier list is going to be the most.

Speaker 2

It's not an F-tier movie.

Speaker 1

This tier list is going to be the most inaccurate tier list because it's just going to be all by the alphabet.

Speaker 3

No, I choose mine and I try to make it fit.

Speaker 2

I'm going to say legendary, because it referenced Friends, which is a legendary show.

Speaker 1

All right, I don't know about that.

Speaker 2

What the?

Speaker 1

fuck, I don't know, I like.

Speaker 3

Friends, friends, the fuck, I don't know. I like friends is white people propaganda shut up.

Speaker 2

That's true. You're half white.

Speaker 3

I like and I I guess what I've watched, friends and I feel propagated but it's over it's.

Speaker 2

It's definitely overrated that word I do not think it means what you think it means no I got your reference. I got your reference inconceivable, um so no, but I do think a okay, and you think b I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1

One is going to be purely who can convince me, because I'm teetering between either one. So let's start with the lower this time. Tj, why B?

Speaker 3

I think it's a decent watch. I think it's a completely mid-tier movie, similar to what we have there Buried. It does kind of keep you on the edge of your seat. It's kind of like buried um, you know, there's like all these like mysteries and shit, like why the hell was his teeth falling out, like who the fuck is doing this, like you know, like all that um, like I just I really think it's just a mid-tier movie, like it's. It's not like fucking a or s or legendary, because it's not like I would go out of my way to watch this, like most of the time. I think if it was on, I would like, you know, sit there, watch it, you know, have it on in the background, but I'm not going to, like you know go buy it, I get it, I get it.

Speaker 1

Why A?

Speaker 3

tier Alex B for Barack Obama.

Speaker 2

I would say B because TJ's black, no, no.

Speaker 1

Interesting Okay.

Speaker 2

I would say B because he's brown.

Speaker 1

But you said A.

Speaker 2

So A because, although.

Speaker 1

I actually-.

Speaker 3

Because TJ's an ass.

Speaker 2

A because TJ's an ass. Oh, okay, cool, I do agree with everything TJ said, but because I agree with what he said is why I'm giving it an a. You don't know who was doing it, you don't know what was going on, and I think that was a good representation of what an emergency like that would be like. You lose all communication with the real world. You know quote, unquote the real world. You don't know what's going on, you're lost, you're confused, you're going backwards to your basest instincts and you are becoming more racist and mean and spiteful and everything is affecting you differently.

Speaker 2

They were not prepared in any wise, which was absolutely silly, because they're going to an airbnb and they don't even pick up water. Like these people didn't think of anything. It was the most ridiculous thing. No, we'll go to the Airbnb and then we'll go get groceries and you know it's like okay, fine, do that, but at least bring yourself water. Why are you traveling so far away from home and you're not planning for what if my car breaks down? What if I get a flat? What if I get into some kind of a situation?

Speaker 1

uh, I think they were on the east coast and I can't give you the answer you know well no actually, if anybody's going to be prepared for something like that, it's white people you said so in the blackening, so, uh, don't go back on your word now.

Speaker 2

So those are all the reasons why I actually say it was A tier, mostly for the survival instincts and kind of tips that they gave in all of this, especially leading to that ultimate bomb shelter at the end. Everything else was, I think, forgivable, even though it annoyed the hell out of me at the time the kid losing his teeth, not knowing um I think no, but they mentioned why no, no, I, I get it, but it was, it was speculative but, that's okay, because that's all you can do that's all you needed right.

Speaker 2

You're like what can you do? You don't know. You didn't go to the doctor and get checked out, and so I thought it was good. It put us in the situation with them. It kept us as confused as them, so I thought they did a great job see, that's what I like.

Speaker 1

I do enjoy when I'm as confused as the characters. I don't like when I'm more confused than the characters yeah, but I like when I'm as confused as them because it's this like it feels like you're going along with them and you're getting to experience this moment with them. I think it's very powerful in movies what I will say, and I think, ultimately, I think I'm going to give you the point, alex, because I think I agree with you.

Speaker 3

Yes, let's go. He used all of my points and then just said yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but I agree with him that it makes it an a, not a b.

Speaker 3

No it definitely makes it a b because it's like you're, it's, it's just the reason it's mid-tier movie. It's a mid-tier movie.

Speaker 1

It's not a great movie, like a it's not a great movie, but it's pretty good. I I think it's. It's at least interesting enough to be an a. Now, what I don't like about this movie is something neither of you said, and I don't know if it really makes any sense, but this is what makes sense to me. It feels like a very Netflix movie. It definitely was. I don't. It's definitely a Netflix movie, something about it, just the way the shots were shot, the way it was put together.

Speaker 2

I understand every single thing you're saying about that.

Speaker 1

It's such a Netflix movie and I'm like it makes me want to put it in B but I think it's a good movie.

Speaker 2

Same everything as the freaking Taylor Tomlinson stand-up comedy.

Speaker 1

Yeah, like it's very Netflix.

Speaker 2

They use the same cameras to shoot it. It fucking kills me.

Speaker 1

No, but if that's the case, then every Netflix shows B-tier.

Speaker 2

Again, I'm only giving it A because of the survivability aspect.

Speaker 1

And I agree with you.

Speaker 2

They gave us some really good and they followed through with true survival tips including Kevin Bacon's role.

Speaker 3

The ending is so dog water. I kind of like it.

Speaker 2

I liked it bacon's roll.

Speaker 1

The ending is so dog water. I kind of like it, I liked it, I well I. I liked the whole premise too, that this was I, uh, not china, what was it?

Speaker 2

anybody. Well, it was some anybody.

Speaker 1

It was middle east, it was china, it was russia some foreign government, where, uh, where they I mean they took us down yeah, they took down America in a single swoop and they didn't know who it was.

Speaker 2

And then there was even the aspect of it's probably coming from inside.

Speaker 1

Yeah, the confusion with everybody was very interesting. If it's not good, it's interesting enough to be.

Speaker 3

A, but I think it's a good movie B for Barack Obama.

Speaker 1

That was very funny, but I already said I'm not going to give points for that anymore.

Speaker 3

But that's hilarious.

Speaker 1

I think this movie should be bottom of A tier.

Speaker 3

So it's like a B. All I'm saying is that's just a B, it's high B.

Speaker 1

No, it's a low A.

Speaker 3

Which is a high B.

Speaker 1

A 92 is not an 88. They're different. Now moving on. Next one, maggie, all right, ready. Three, two, one f what, oh man? Okay, uh, all right, why f?

Speaker 2

okay. So they left a lot to be desired in this film. I thought they could have made us. They could have really taken this to a whole different level. But it was so bizarre that we're outside of the zombie apocalypse now. We've, as humans, survived it. Now we're trying to eradicate all of the rest of them. All of the rest of them.

Speaker 2

And although I loved every aspect of the dad with his daughter, I also absolutely hated that he went against her wishes. She didn't want to do it anymore. She didn't want to be. She didn't want to be like this, and for his own selfish desire, he kept her going in this realm. Then, on the survivability aspect of it, we didn't have any information on how the whole outbreak happened and so on and so forth. But you had those nights where they went out to the bonfire and stuff like that which, knowing that there are still people out there who are infected, I think that's absolutely freaking, reckless. And to have her and I get it, it was her stepmother who was like you should go out, you should go do. What is wrong with you people. You act like these, like that neighbor didn't have two escaped zombies come walking through the woods and they all knew. All of the adults knew this stuff was happening, but it was happening everywhere.

Speaker 1

I think the point of that was that it was incredibly rare that something like that would happen, but they were still happening.

Speaker 2

That was the problem was like there's people doing this and and they knew it, but they but they knew that their daughter their daughter was one of those, I agree, and especially I got really mad when they were telling the stories of how it happened and said I saw her. She regretted it the instant she did it and that told me everything I needed to know. They had no control. When they were starting to turn, they got closer and closer. Eventually they lost control and they would just bite out of can I say instinct and it was absolutely terrible to be going around and and hanging out with all of your buddies like this when you know that this is a major problem.

Speaker 1

When you know that this is a major problem.

Speaker 3

Yeah, okay, tj, why C Not a F tier movie? I had a feeling, okay, I agree, like I know, I knew that he didn't, like, I kind of knew that he was going to go for like F or Garbo. So I was just like C, because that's just kind of how I feel about it. It's a C Dude. It would have been so much cooler if we would have ever agreed on one. I liked the type of zombie it was like. I liked how it was, like a slow zombification process I fucked with it.

Speaker 3

I would be willing to put it higher maybe be that's the point for you. I think it's. It's a decent movie. I arnold schwarzenegger is always a win that's a point for you, tj.

Speaker 1

I will say my initial thoughts of this movie were bad, but I do think it's a decent movie. I don't think it's that bad. I definitely don't think it's F. I think it's. I could take C, but I do think it's a B movie, I think it's. I like Abigail Bresnik. I like her in this.

Speaker 2

Bresnik or Breslin.

Speaker 1

Breslin I don't remember One of the two Um, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, so I like him in it. I think the acting was a little lackluster at times and I think the story had some flaws, but I think Frozen had way bigger flaws and so I don't think, uh, I don't think Maggie should be.

Speaker 2

F, I guess, I guess okay so actually I think, 2012 I will concede period at the end of the episode, okay I will concede that this is very much uh, coming from a dad of a daughter yeah, like I, I understood why the actions were taken I have have a very, very visceral reaction to Josh said Arnold Swartz, a what Eric?

Speaker 1

Oh, my God, don't do this to me. What'd you say? I'm going to put it in B. Do we care if it's above buried? I think it can be above. I think it's better than buried.

Speaker 3

It can be above.

Speaker 2

But if I agree with you, that means that my rating was wrong.

Speaker 1

Well, it's already wrong. I already gave TJ the point. All right, next one Outside.

Speaker 3

Oh okay, oh Okay.

Speaker 1

Okay, we got ratings.

Speaker 3

Yep.

Speaker 1

Yes, three, two, one.

Speaker 2

Legendary.

Speaker 3

This is a goaded movie. This shit is so fucking goaded. I actually love this episode and guess what? Everybody else loved it too, because this is one of our highly rated episodes.

Speaker 1

If you haven't heard the outside episode, go listen to it, because this movie is fucking fire I'm, I'm not gonna lie, tj got the point, because I do think that I was gonna say s tier and I was going to fight for legendary, but the fact that tj already went legendary, that's, that's a point for me, because I think this movie is a masterpiece um, I gotta hold on.

Speaker 3

I want to look at my waveform ridiculous okay that was ridiculous, so TJ why Legendary?

Speaker 1

What are your reasons?

Speaker 3

I think that it's kind of crazy how the Asians do fucking zombies better than we do so much better.

Speaker 2

This shit is so fucking good.

Speaker 3

It's like Train to Busan. Good, I think it's high-tier, trying to boost on good, like I would that. I think it's high tier fucking fire zombie movie. I I think like the the, the slow descent into madness that the dad went into, um, the fucking vibe of it. I liked the zombies and how they would like just repeat the last thing that they said. Like I feel like that's a very I feel like that would happen if it was actually real.

Speaker 1

It was very unique.

Movie Survivability Ratings Debate

Speaker 3

I like the ending. I think the ending was fucking perfect. Yeah, good movie, great movie. Survivability, not surviving. If I'm in this situation, I would do so much different, but the movie's great. Alright, alex, why A no? I agree with TJ. The situation like I would do so much different, but like the movie's great. All right, alex, why?

Speaker 1

no, I, I, I agree with tj nobody cares what you wait, what you change. Your answer to legendary I do.

Speaker 2

I do, and I do because the things that I hate about that movie are what make it great. It's that it brings real life problems into into the apocalypse. Your, your life doesn't just stop happening because the apocalypse happens. You might be placating for a little while, which I think they did a good job of showing us. The mom and dad were at odds, you saw that, but they kind of like sucked it up to get their kids to safety. But clearly mom had different intentions the entire time.

Speaker 2

You had this massive betrayal going on that at first I mean it was. It was intense because we didn't know what the hell was going on. We talked about it on the episode. We saw them. It was like why the hell are you not on the same side? Why are you not agreeing as to what's the right thing to do? And you kind of saw this progression into madness, because this woman wanted to get away from this man, this man wanted to protect his family. It was insanity all around and I thought that I absolutely hated it. But that's reality. Life doesn't stop.

Speaker 3

Because problem, new problems arise the cut from happy wedding to just silence in the car. Yep, you know yeah what the fuck? I thought y'all were in love. What happened?

Speaker 1

I will say I just said that I don't like being more confused than the characters, but I think this is an exception. The reason I don't like it is because I think a lot of writers just royally fuck it up and these writers were very intentional with what information they were giving you at what time, trickled it and they, they gave it to you at exactly the right time. And this was a very long movie, yeah, and, and it did not feel that way, I agree, it did feel long, but when I looked and I'm like holy shit, I'm two hours into this movie. Look, dude.

Speaker 2

I would not have guessed. I work like 14 hours a day and I came home and watched this movie. By the time I finished it it was like three o'clock in the morning. I had no idea.

Speaker 1

It's a very good movie, alex. This will not be a consistent thing, but, alex, I gave you a plus one for coming to your senses on this movie that's fine, this is a legendary movie. If anybody has not seen Outside, you should go. You should go touch grass.

Speaker 2

You know, some of our followers actually watched it. They said it was boring. Anybody has not seen outside. You should go.

Speaker 1

He should go touch grass.

Speaker 2

You know some of our followers actually watched it. They said it was boring. I disagree with them entirely.

Speaker 1

Oh man, I you gotta get over the beginning. It's, it's very clearly. Yes, it it's. This isn't some Netflix movie, this is a film. This is legendary status.

Speaker 3

It is a netflix movie, but it's I mean it's.

Speaker 2

It's a netflix exclusive, but it's it's not made by uh netflix. I don't think it was. It was an independent that netflix bought it's very good now I don't think I can say netflix again.

Speaker 1

I did it moving on the blackening. All right, we ready, yep, oh God, yes, all right, three, two, one.

Speaker 2

A, b for barbecue.

Speaker 3

That's Funny, that's just racist.

Speaker 2

Funny the fact that it's a bit lower is crazy? No, it's not, it's accurate.

Speaker 3

I think that this movie is hilarious, and that's just it.

Speaker 1

Okay, why did you say?

Speaker 2

B. I think that they actually it's a B because they actually played into the film's mediocrity. They weren't trying to be an excellent film, they were actually trying to show you horror cliches. They were playing on every single one of them. I mean, god, their tagline, their tagline. Not all of us can die first, we can't all die first, and it was for their purpose. I think if it belongs anywhere, it's that we got to bring back that old iconic because it is unlike any other film.

Speaker 1

I wouldn't say that. I would say this gives me similar vibes to the. Scary Movie.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Which I think is iconic. I love Scary Movie. I think Scary Movie is iconic. That's why it's A so I'm conflicted.

Speaker 3

I love conscious humor, like they know what?

Speaker 2

but? But wait, but wait, wait, wait, hear me out, because scary movie. It cannot go into another category than iconic it is. I don't remember a movie, everybody knows it.

Speaker 1

It survived generations and time I would say it is iconic. Yeah, I don't don't like it, but it's iconic.

Speaker 2

The blackening is close in that realm. It's funny. It plays on the genre, it plays on the tropes, it plays on the cliches and it does it very well. I don't think it's advertised well enough, but it was.

Speaker 3

That's the African-American-ing to you, sir, that's what Josh said it was.

Speaker 1

that's the african-americaning to you sir that's josh gets plus five points for that. Josh is in the running. So I'm conflicted about this one, because one b for the blackening, b for the barbecue very funny. Uh, you bring up an excellent point that this movie's entire purpose is to be the most mediocre movie possible. It's the, it's the, what's the word for it, it's the contradiction, that, or maybe it's a paradox, that it's trying to be so bad, that it's so good, yes, and but that's. This is where I get conflicted, because in my opinion, that's what makes it an A is because it is striving so hard to be that perfect mediocre movie and it is.

Speaker 2

I think that's racist and that makes it an A You're taking away what they were aiming for.

Speaker 3

They were aiming for B for black. It's racist. If you put it any lower, I'm actually putting it in A for African-American.

Speaker 2

We have zero S tier. Oh, we might have to move something at some point we're going to. All right, so where does it go?

Speaker 1

No, we're definitely going to hit an S? Tier.

Speaker 2

Where does it go?

Speaker 1

I think it goes above Leave the World Behind. I thought that was a given. And below, all of Us Are Dead.

Speaker 3

It does. Yeah, that's what I think, okay.

Speaker 1

Okay, Okay. Coming up next a recent one, we did one of my episodes, the Cured.

Speaker 3

We ready Yep Three, two, one okay, fuck you f, for fuck you um the more reasonable ys. More reasonable, please. First of all, it's heavily insinuated that alex is a little bit um put alex and b for bitch.

Post-Apocalyptic Ethics and Fresh Perspectives

Speaker 2

It is heavily insinuated that tj has his nose far up the host's ass. Hear me out. He didn't know what I was gonna pick, you know new type of zombie.

Speaker 3

You know, new, new, it's just new. Like when I like there's not a lot of movies where the you get cured, you know, where the the whole world is trying to go back to normal and you know, and I feel like it it does show what would actually happen in that sort of case and like I think it there's like a lot of deep shit in this movie and what I said in the episode, what if the real zombies are the living? Um, no, but uh, true, but yeah, it's just, it's a good movie s tier. Um, I fucks with it.

Speaker 2

Um, I I ending was fine.

Speaker 3

I like the ending um fuck yeah, I just. I like the new take on, uh on the yf, it's always good to have new shit I I love the fact I I'm.

Speaker 2

I'm going to absolutely contradict tj. They were not zombies, they were infected sure it was.

Speaker 2

It was the genre we're fine, we're in the same genre. They are infected, they are cured. I had absolutely. I take issue with several things in this. We don't mind that they've been cured, I mind that they've been cured, and the cured have no advocacy at the first. Of course, they get it later when more people get infected again, and et cetera, et cetera. But now that ending, I hate that ending, hate it. And I'm going to tell you something. I went back and watched it again and all I gained out of it was they made it even more clear that I forget her name Elliot Page Ellen.

Speaker 1

Page Is sister-in-law.

Speaker 2

yeah, she was so she was tracking all of their uh, the whereabouts where the infected were, and she had the map out and she was circling all the places that they were not and this indicated that this was going on for quite some time. So that just drove me out of my mind and a couple of other things was, of course, I think we already established in the episode. If you haven't seen it or listened to our episode, it's worth it. Go listen to the episode because our episode is epic, where the movie heavily, not so much episode.

Speaker 2

It is. It's not even insinuated Like that's a really good episode.

Speaker 1

Okay, hang on for future reference. The title of that podcast episode should have been it's heavily insinuated this is will you survive the cured?

Speaker 3

I don't want to do that to you.

Speaker 2

That would have been very funny. I mean, I get it, but I am very happy with the title. Post-apocalyptic ethics and unexpected nightmares uh, everything, everything in our episode is s tier, but I I can't raise above. I really think the movie failed in bringing it all together. We did not get any kind of resolution to what was this storyline. The storyline was the cured. The cured were trying to get back into society. All we got was the cured were going to start a revolution. That's, it's heavily insinuated that the cured were going to start a revolution. That's, it's heavily insinuated that the cured were going to start a revolution. And that's where it left us it didn't give us anything well, no, they weren't fighting yet.

Speaker 2

There was no fighting outbreak, but it was, it was you saw the guys close and we knew. We knew connor, we knew what he's capable of.

Speaker 1

So I will say I thought this movie brought a perspective that we I don't think have ever seen from the zombie genre or from the infected genre, which is that they retain their memories and now they're dealing with the psychological trauma of living with that and trying to re assimilate into society is just impossible and seeing how someone like connor can rile everybody up into doing something as awful as releasing all the infected back into society, that 25 that couldn't be, uh, cured, which they ended up actually curing if they would have just waited, but they didn't. I will say I think this movie, because of its fresh and it was very well made. If it wasn't for the ending, which I personally do not have that big of an issue with, I think it would have been legendary. But I understand the ending is not perfect and that's why I think it should go into S tier. So I agree with TJ S tier. I think it is an S tier movie.

Speaker 2

S tier.

Speaker 1

It is a very good movie with a very interesting perspective.

Speaker 3

It doesn't give us anything on the story. Alex is a hoe.

Speaker 2

The story was supposed to be the cured, and we knew nothing about the cured at the end.

Speaker 1

We knew all about him, though he was one of the cured.

Speaker 3

We knew all about Connor, the trials and tribulations of a black man in society.

Speaker 1

I don't think it was that I think we watched the wrong movie.

Speaker 2

That's African American man to you.

Speaker 3

So all right. Tune in next episode where we watch 12 Years a Slave.

Speaker 2

Roots.

Speaker 3

Look at us, we're getting along host.

Speaker 1

I I'm very proud of you guys. Puts roots on the tier list.

Movie Survival Rating Reassessment

Speaker 3

Didn't even watch it and then voted an f or a garbo legendary garbo didn't actually happen, didn't actually well, well, no, never mind, we can't repeat that.

Speaker 1

I was going to say what was that? One tweet from Kanye.

Speaker 3

No, oh God, don't the good morning one.

Speaker 1

That was so funny.

Speaker 3

He said good morning R word Don't do it. Don't do it, oh it was so funny Okay.

Speaker 2

We've made it this far without being restricted. Let's just get through it.

Speaker 1

Oh, I'm just itching, I'm just itching for it.

Speaker 2

Let's just get through it.

Speaker 1

We're almost there. We got two more. Let's get through them kind of fast, because we're struggling a little bit over time.

Speaker 2

Shotgun round, shotgun round, shotgun round.

Speaker 1

All right, this is one. Are Jesus? Do we have an answer? Yes, ready 3, 2, 1. S Okay, you're both wrong. I don't know how to tell you that Legendary. I'll give you the point for coming to the realization. This is literally a masterpiece. I can't, I can't.

Speaker 2

I can't give it, I can't come to a legendary on this one.

Speaker 1

Are you kidding? This is quite literally a masterpiece I can't.

Speaker 2

It's not a masterpiece. It has flaws. A masterpiece has zero flaws. Shauna the dead is a masterpiece that has.

Speaker 1

It is fucking riddled with zero flaws.

Speaker 2

It is the whole point of it there are no flaws to it.

Speaker 1

The haunting of hill house is. It has flaws. The flaws that it has are not gonna break it from s the no s for sure. I said not gonna break it from. Legendary is what I meant.

Speaker 3

The this is biased it's a perfect this shit is rigged.

Speaker 1

The character development it's me as you learn as you learn about the characters. It is flawless, the the scares that happen in it, unbelievable. They get you multiple times, even after you've already fucking seen it. No argument scares great well, you know what makes it s tier to me?

Speaker 1

s exactly, not s tier I can you said s twice now I know it's because you keep fucking arguing it, I'm going to. No, it's legendary. What makes it legendary is the rewatch ability of it, the fact that I can put this on and re-watch it and I'm still just as interested as the very first time I watched it. And you find new ghosts. Every time you watch it, you find a new ghost in the background.

Speaker 1

It's riddled with Easter eggs. This is a legendary. This is a film. It's a short series on Netflix, but this is a what like 10 series on netflix, but this is a what like 10 hour film. It is now.

Speaker 3

If we were beautiful it is on level with the queen's gambit blair manor, garbo, garbo haunting of blight, manor garbo, I said the haunting of hell of hill house, literally that's how relevant it is, but the haunting of hill house you guys legendary. This legendary you might as well call the haunting of blind manor s tier no, that is so wrong literally the most boring piece of shit fucking series I've ever seen in my god damn I'm not gonna lie, I'm just.

Speaker 2

I'm just arguing to argue. I've never seen, would rather be waterboarded with piss.

Speaker 3

Then watch.

Speaker 2

I will do it, I will do it, I will do it, I will do it.

Speaker 1

I will do it. Promise Now. We have a new YouTube video coming up recently, guys.

Speaker 2

And our YouTube account has been suspended before we even start and TikTok's like, and that's it. And that's all All right, fine.

Speaker 1

Fine, I'm sorry You're not going to win that one Now. I think it goes above outside. Yeah, fine, I'm sorry You're not going to win that one Now. I think it goes above outside.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, if it belongs on that category, it's on the top.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 2

It was going to be on the top of A Last one.

Speaker 1

Yep, the Shallows Ready, alright, three. Well, do you have ratings? I have it Okay, three, two, one C Garbo.

Speaker 2

Wow Okay.

Speaker 1

Three, two, one C Garbo. Wow, Okay, well, this was very consistent throughout the episode. Okay, why Garbo?

Speaker 2

Garbo because I'm siding with my wife. Fuck Blake Lively.

Speaker 1

All right. Well, that's fair enough. Why C?

Speaker 3

C because I feel like it's just on the same tier as Frozen in 2012. It's like white bitch is stuck in place. Movie. You know it has to be, it is.

Speaker 1

Warning, warning, warning. There's no warning here. You don't get to play both. I don't think you could do that.

Speaker 3

You can't play both sides. I have to put both on my goddamn driver's license application. I can play both.

Speaker 1

Okay, but when the cop walks up, are you Really?

Speaker 3

Oh, he's white, he's white.

Speaker 2

Hello my fellow.

Speaker 3

Hello, Mr Officer you just have one in your glove compartment, just in case. Do you want any of these deviled?

Speaker 2

eggs Fuck, yes, I do.

Speaker 3

What an outstanding citizen my wife is making potato salad at the house it has raisins in it.

Speaker 2

I'm not even white. What about bratwurst? You got some bratwurst with that deviled eggs and potato salad Oof eat knife Oof eat knife.

Speaker 1

You know that place Lincoln Hops.

Speaker 2

Yes, In Atwater.

Speaker 1

Yes, Great, we gotta go back there sometime.

Speaker 2

Yes, we do.

Speaker 1

That's a good spot.

Speaker 2

Yes, we do.

Speaker 1

That's a good spot. Yes, we do. Okay, I consistently throughout this episode. I feel like I've been right in between both of your answers. I don't think it's complete. Garbo, you are obviously a little biased, and that's fair enough, okay, but I don't think it's good enough to be C, quiet, quiet.

Speaker 3

Bottom of C is probably the best place to put it High key.

Speaker 1

My wife can't hear this. It's actually probably c tier.

Speaker 2

Okay, really I thought it was f? Tier, and here's why the way she killed the shark, okay, okay, okay, okay, no okay, also, you're not surviving that night it was fun, it was I like wait wait eric, eric I will tell you this I loved it because it was on the ocean, okay steven se Seagal.

Speaker 3

Oh shit, Up to the sea, bro. It's bottom of the sea.

Speaker 1

That's all I'm saying when a star like that is in a movie. I really don't know how you can argue that.

Speaker 2

I can't argue that point.

Speaker 1

Also, why'd you?

Speaker 2

Woody. I even have to say TJ deserves that point because he just rescued the movie from an F tier because I couldn't argue and you know, the episode title is will you survive the shallows?

Speaker 3

a giant shark and steven siegel it is steven siegel man.

Speaker 2

You gotta listen to that episode. It's a good one all right.

Speaker 1

Well, where do we think it fits into c? It's at the bottom okay, below bird box below bird box all right, that's fair enough. They're not. Either of them are not that great. Nope, all right, so really quick. Do we want to reorder anything?

Speaker 2

Let's go over it real quick.

Speaker 1

Now I think they should only move one tier up or down, depending on how we feel.

Speaker 2

I think Legendary is solid.

Speaker 1

I think Legendary is solid.

Speaker 2

I would have put you know all of us are dead in there.

Speaker 1

I think potentially all of us are Dead could move up to S I feel like Buried goes down to C.

Speaker 3

Okay, wait, wait, wait, buried goes up to B.

Speaker 2

Hold on, hold on. If the Cured belongs in S, then All of Us Are Dead. Definitely belongs in S.

Speaker 3

I kind of agree. I also agree that that should go Okay, like that yeah.

Speaker 1

Okay. Now you wanted to flip Buried in 2012? Yeah, I'm kind of okay with that. Buried is Putting Buried in C in 2012 and B yeah, I'm okay with that, and they're both at the top and bottom, so they'll just. Yeah. I think 2012 is better than Maggie, though. Yeah, yeah, if I had to pick between the two, I'd watch that. I'm not going to lie. I know I argued for Bird Box to go and see, but F tier it might be able to drop down.

Speaker 2

We don't have anything. I don't, I don't. You know what?

Speaker 1

I just don't like that movie.

Speaker 2

The Shallows might actually be ahead of it only because Steven Seagal and Ocean. There's really so much hanging on Steven Seagal right now I think it goes just below Buried and there's really so much hanging on steve and seagull right now he's carrying the whole weight just below buried and I think bird box is at bottom you think bird box belongs in c tier though?

Speaker 3

it's either low c or f and I think I'm thinking it belongs in f in front of frozen because she actually did some sort of smart things during the movie.

Speaker 1

That is true, she did do some medical stuff, okay, okay.

Speaker 2

But hear me out here.

Speaker 1

They were both equally ridiculous.

Speaker 2

I will say this they gave her a lot of plot armor. They used a lot of plot weapons against the three in Frozen.

Speaker 1

Actually I do agree with that, and that was one reason we put it up there in C tier is that it's interesting, at least, that there was way more plot weaponry than than plot armor in a typical movie. So I mean it's fine if f tier is empty. I think okay. Um, we didn't watch any f tier movies I think okay, what's our garbo? Oh, evil dead rise. Yep yeah, pretty bad movie, yep um agreed, that was dj's movie I won't lie, it's fun to watch.

Speaker 2

One time, I think but, other than that I actually watched it.

Speaker 3

I watched it twice if we do an episode to your list, we got. Jeopardy goes up top, do we agree?

Speaker 1

jeopardy goes into iconic first, first episodeardy.

Speaker 2

Only because it's your episode, it goes into Garbo.

Speaker 1

So I say we have a tier list where it's Alex, eric and TJ.

Speaker 2

Oh, motherfucker. And you know what? What? Like the movies we chose.

Speaker 3

It's literally just who hosted what, or just us. We have our episodes.

Speaker 1

It's just a spreadsheet of who's winning.

Speaker 3

I think it should be like from most hair to least hair.

Speaker 2

We can actually objectively what the fuck Well, you guys are both fucked so you want me to show you my body hair? What the fuck.

Speaker 3

Yeah, no, we all shave completely, and then we weigh our hair.

Speaker 2

I'm back in the running boys.

Speaker 1

That's an idea I don't like where this episode has twisted to. Let's read some points. This is our final tier list. I'm supposed this could be posted on our Instagram now. Next, we're going up to season five. We're going up to season five. This is pretty exciting, guys. Are we going to change anything?

Speaker 2

No, but we are going to go back and redo some remember oh, I think we just talk about that, yeah we're gonna bring back like I would love to do an episode of dawn of the dead with tj because we could just fight the whole entire episode like last time, but better what else resident evil?

Speaker 1

one and two maybe oh, going back to resident evil would be cool. Um, three and beyond is kind of back to Resident.

Speaker 2

Evil would be cool. 3 and Beyond is kind of pointless to do because there's no surviving any of those.

Speaker 1

What about 7?

Speaker 2

The other one that we didn't do with TJ was Train to Busan, which deserves a TJ.

Speaker 1

Sure, all right, look at how nice I am.

Speaker 2

Look at how nice I am and how mean this fucking guy is to me.

Speaker 1

Okay. Well, if you just ignore the whole first 90% of the episode, sure you could probably stab something with it. Do you see how mean he is to me? Like I said, if we ignore the first 90% of the episode, sure.

Speaker 3

You're an intercontinental ballistic missile head. What do you want me to do? Let's read some points.

Speaker 1

Alex, this is interesting because I you know what I Alex, this is interesting because I you know what. I didn't write down why you got the points.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

Just that you got the points Okay. So, alex, you have one, two, three, four, five, six points Okay. Tj, you have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Speaker 2

Fucking rigged Plus Josh. This shit is rigged and Josh has five points he wants to give to me.

Speaker 3

And shit is rigged and josh has five points he wants to give to me and five points to josh.

Speaker 2

Yeah, no, you can't. You can't trade points. It's in the bylaws. He said it right there.

Season Finale Gepardy Drama

Speaker 1

Oh, alex, alex would win. Uh, yeah, no yep so tj wins, which actually okay. So hang on. This is unplanned, because now he's going to be the host of the first episode of two seasons and I'm also the last host of two seasons and he already announced the host.

Speaker 3

It's crazy. And guess who's the host? It's me. I'm great. Well, I mean, I could change my mind right now what the next episode is going to be.

Speaker 1

If it's Gepardy again Is it. Gepardy.

Speaker 3

No, I actually I'm not going to tell you. It's a surprise.

Speaker 1

It's Gephardy, it's not. It's Gephardy, it's not.

Speaker 3

Oh my God, it's not Gephardy.

Speaker 1

It's definitely that's such a desperate attempt to like no, don't guess it.

Speaker 2

No, it's not, it's not, it's not. Gephardy guys.

Speaker 3

You didn't guess it, right, guys, it's, I'll believe it when I see it.

Speaker 2

Are you for real?

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Don't fuck with me, dude, Damn. If you're fucking for real, I'm going to go full fucking nerd dude.

Speaker 1

Yeah, tj's been telling me all about this. Actually, we're in on it together, right, tj? Well, well.

Speaker 2

I have no idea about this.

Speaker 3

This is the first time I've ever heard about this. The fucking TJ supremacy, motherfucker. Fucking TJ supremacy, motherfucker. I am the winner and I am so hyped that the next episode is gonna be Gepardy. Welcome back to Gepardy alright, alex, legendary.

Speaker 1

Alright, plus four points, alex, you win. Yeah, no, you can't do it. So I most certainly could you already announced?

Speaker 3

yeah?

Speaker 1

no, you can't um, so I most certainly could, that is how you already announced the winner you can't take it.

Speaker 2

Now that I have won, here's what we're gonna do on the next episode we're going to do, we're doing a dandy

Speaker 1

get pretty yeah yeah, you can't, you can't, you can't fuck around like that well, in this case, I feel like I've been given two very interesting propositions for what the next episode will be.

Speaker 2

I think it. I think I gotta, I gotta, work on that shit. I don't know the dnd rules so I can't actually do it exactly and guess what?

Speaker 1

I'll give it to tj I am working on a dnd episode.

Speaker 3

I have been periodically for like a couple months. I want it to be good. I want it to be able to be multiple parts and it'll be ready tomorrow for jeopardy all right.

Speaker 1

Well, I guess that is what our next episode is going to be. I guess we're going back to the game board and we're going to play some jeopardy again the final actually the final.

Speaker 3

That's pretty bold, that's bold. That's the final geopardy.

Speaker 1

They're very popular all right until they get a reboot yeah, I was gonna say until we see how well it does a reboot all right a new host that isn't as popular. It's gonna be air coasting geopardy, I'm gonna have a uh category for tj or questions for TJ.

Speaker 2

Questions for TJ. It's going to be literally a spinning clone of Gepardy Questions for Alex.

Speaker 1

I would love that, and just let them all be gaming related. Oh fuck, Actually, if I no, no, I dominated that category. Anyways, look forward to that. Gepardy in the past has been very fun. You should go check out our previous Gepardy episodes and you should look forward to this next one. That's happening. We are not taking a break. Honestly, our seasons are pretty meaningless. We just like to break it up a little bit.

Speaker 1

Linear. Yeah, it's going to be pretty much the same thing. We might do something a little bit different. I don't know. We change as we get older and have life experience and become little whippersnappers. Alex loser speech.

Speaker 2

Sucks to be the loser. I should have won. Our subscribers agree with me. I did far better than TJ in every regard. Tj sucks. I even nailed it that we should have had hot pockets for the start although I do agree with the hot pockets.

Speaker 1

Uh, the points say otherwise to everything else. You said it was rigged. Tj.

Speaker 3

Winner speech uh, it's, it's, uh, it's tj. Supremacy. Baby. I've, I've started out multiple seasons. It's me, it's just me at the start every time. Guess what. The first season I was here started it off because I was on the first episode. Second season, gepardy, guess why, I started it off again Now.

Speaker 2

It's just our affirmative action.

Speaker 3

Fifth season 29th season, we're going to be fucking. That's it. Yeah, 29th season, we're gonna be fucking 48 doing this shit. Guess what we're gonna be doing? Motherfucking gep.

Speaker 1

Well, tj, actually you might not be here till you're 48. See trump recently passed this dei stuff and uh, yeah, we're gonna be able to fire you legally was I.

Speaker 3

I the diversity, equity and inclusion in this group of all brown people.

Speaker 2

Yeah, exactly. We're very diverse over here at Movies About the Podcast.

Speaker 1

Three shades of brown. Well, I feel very honored that you guys are including me on the brown. That is very generous, all things considered. But okay, would you like me to hit them with the socials? Hit them, uh, all things considered. But uh, okay, would you?

Speaker 2

like me to hit him with the socials? Hit him with the socials. All right, everybody, make sure you check us out on all of our socials. We are on tiktok, facebook and instagram at will you survive the podcast. You can also find us on youtube. You can search. Will you survive the podcast? Or at the boys at wys, we're on x. At alex and eric's w, alex and eric wys, and please send us your emails. Let us know you're watching. Give us your criticisms, tell us what you think and what you would like us to cover at the boys at will you survive the podcastcom that's t-h-e-b-o-y-s. At will you survive the podcastcomodcastcom.

Speaker 1

All right, any final words? Boys, tj sucks.

Speaker 3

This shit was rigged.

Speaker 2

It was heavily insinuated that I should have won.

Speaker 3

Well, it's heavily insinuated that I'm on top.

Speaker 2

I don't want to hear about that.

Speaker 1

Yeah that's exactly where my mind went All right, that's it. This is done. We're over. We'll see you guys next season. What? We'll see you, wow.

Speaker 3

What an accusation to end the season on. We'll see you next season.

Speaker 1

Stay alive, God no.

Speaker 3

All you have been here. God, no, thank you.

Contributor

Alex

Co-host
Contributor

Erik

Co-host
Contributor

TJ

Co-host