The Tactical Trivia Gauntlet Part 1

A mall under siege, a rooftop helicopter you might miss, a silverback gorilla staring down a crowd, a farmhouse whispering your name, and a lifeboat that turns a tarp into a lifeline this one takes our Season Five highlights and turns them into a tactical survival game. We put our own debates on trial: Did the survivors in Dawn of the Dead wait too long to claim the roof? Is human coordination the underrated superpower in any “100 vs 1” scenario? Can composure be a stronger exorcism tool than any artifact? And how often does a humble tarp outclass the gear we romanticize?

We keep the stakes high and the tone sharp, awarding “gear” for right answers and “skills” for clever callbacks. Along the way, we unpack why early decisions compound, why elevation buys time and information, and how coordinated roles beat raw numbers. The Conjuring 3 thread pushes us on calm under pressure because rituals only work when your brain does. Life of Pi reminds us that versatility wins on the water, and Pandora teaches us to read environmental cues like a language: when the wildlife moves, follow.

By the Final Extraction, our kit looks surprisingly practical: bioluminescent navigation for blackouts, deterrents that buy seconds (not miracles), distraction tools, salt boundaries, a reliable map, and twin tarps that solve more problems than they should. More important than the gear are the mindsets we earn high-ground awareness, tactical unity, mental fortitude, and ecological intuition. If you love pop culture but want takeaways you can actually use, you’ll find them here, tucked between the jokes and the trapdoors.

If this made you think or yell answers at your phone tap follow, share it with a friend who argues about bite force, and drop your go-to survival move in a review.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Hello, survivors, and welcome to another episode of Will You Survive the Podcast? That, my friends, is our melodic entry where we are going to be doing a tactical survival game. This is part trivia, part roleplay, including some popular culture, but everything has to do with season five of Will You Survive the Podcast? What kind of roleplay? Well, that's to be decided. I can't give you the answer yet. That would ruin the fun. To play this game, I have uh my co-hosts here. That's Eric. Hello. And that's TJ. ShmaBulok. Behind the scenes, uh, these guys decided they want to start out this game as a team.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

ShmaBulog. Sorry. We did decide that. Um Alex explained like all the rules and shit before before we went to the game.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

So many rules to remember.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

I yeah, I'm I'm so serious when I say I really was trying to listen to.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Answer the questions wrong, you may suffer consequences.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

See, if you said Is that really difficult? If you said it like that, that makes sense, but you actually went on like a 10-minute instructional manual. You guys just weren't listening on how to do it. And it was not many million minutes. It was if you asked the chat, it was it was a long time.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

It was not a long time.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

You did not explain it that succinctly. See, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Jeez, Sam says wrong answer, hot wax.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Get your ADD under control. That is not the kind of roleplay we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

I don't know what HD is, but my doctor said I got 80 of them bitches.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

That's right. That's right. Okay. First question. Let's get this puppy rolling. Okay. Okay. Uh each correct answer earns a survival item or a skill, if you will. Bonus points for quoting the episode or referencing podcast banter.

SPEAKER_03 2:36

Now, when you say quoting the episode, do you mean the name of the episode or the exact quote that was said?

SPEAKER_00 2:44

No, you're not going to name the episode because I'm going to tell you the episode.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Okay, I was going to say because there's no shot I remember those names.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

No, the title isn't necessary, but if you quote from the episode, something one of us said. You gotta get close. I'm not gonna hold you guys to double quoting here. Alright?

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Alright. I feel like I could do well in this. We'll see.

Rules, Consequences, and Running Jokes

SPEAKER_00 3:07

This is a pop culture prep check. Episode was Dawn of the Dead 2004. That's the newscast, if you recall. Question one. In the WIS breakdown, what was identified as the most critical early mistake made by survivors in the mall? A. Not securing all entrances. B trusting strangers too quickly. C failing to ration supplies. Or D ignoring the rooftop advantage. Now remember, this was a discussion that we all had.

SPEAKER_03 3:42

I feel like it's A, because anytime we talk about a mall, we always talk about how hard it would be to be specifically talking about that movie.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah. What they did in that movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

I mean, they technically secure although I don't know, I feel like that wouldn't have really held. Emily's busy right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

She's under the desk. Good quote. That's a quote.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

That is a quote.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

By Mr. Alex himself. Now, um, I do agree, Eric, that's not like it's a good quote. Remember how we were like totally over my head. Well, yeah, back to you, Jonathan. Yeah. Back to you, Amber.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Back to you, Emily. And I said, um, it's Alex. Emily is under the desk right now.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Oh, yeah, like a Clinton joke. She's not doing it like that. She's but that is great. Ha. Um I see. I feel like misogynist out here. Okay. Zombie Apocalypse. Could be it.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Derek. I feel like I was saying you have to trust people that early because like you need numbers. And you can poll the audience.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

You guys can talk to anybody. This is a team exercise.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

All I got is saying when she said e all of the above.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

All of the above. There is one answer. And we did talk about this.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Okay, so think about it. They did use rooftop advantage. Yes. Okay. So that gets rid of that one.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

But I think the qu the answer was saying that it we're not fast enough.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

We said ignoring the rooftop advantage.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

Oh no, they used it. Um they used it quite a bit. So I would say that one's gone. I think as much as A sounds like it, I think you're right. We could probably eliminate that one. I'm kind of leaning towards rationing supplies.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Hmm. They were kind of going like sicko mode with shit.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Yeah, because they didn't they immediately kind of knew they were gonna leave it.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

I feel like we talked about how like they didn't mention or like show them eating or anything.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

No, they did. They well, they showed them drinking.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

And they had that whole like dinner scene.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

They did.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Yeah, they were all sitting around the table when the lead character was saying um what he what job he was worst at and what job he was the best at.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Um I could see that one. What was the what was the fourth option?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Ignoring the rooftop advantage. So not securing all entrances, trusting strangers too quickly, failing to ration supplies, ignoring the rooftop advantage.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Ah, I mean B kind of sounds more like the right answer, but I want to go with C.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

You guys tell me what your answer is.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

What do you think, TJ? Can I pull the audience? What is the audience on WIS saying?

Dawn of the Dead: Rooftops vs Trust

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Hey Gemini, flip a coin. I'm seeing a lot of uh puppet movie. Okay, so's Tails. So second option.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Which is Oh hang on, hang on. Xana Maze says B. It's B because they brought in a group of survivors that had the fat the Oh, wait, wait, they're right. It's B because they brought in a group of survivors that had the fat zombie who was already bitten.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Oh yeah, I fucking remember that now, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Wait, so what was it B then?

SPEAKER_01 6:53

I feel like yeah, because what we talked about, guys.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Yeah, what we talked about.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I feel what we said, and remember this was you guys were doing it as newscasters in the we didn't say we didn't say shit about rationing during the newscaster stuff.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

I'm pretty certain it's B then.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I mean Eric was an alcoholic.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah, we like there was no thought of rationing. I I I started drinking heavy during that episode. So you guys agree? Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with I think I'm gonna go with B. B.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

No, guys, it was actually ignoring the rooftop advantage. Both of you were complaining that they waited so long to go up to the rooftop, and by the time they got up to the rooftop, the helicopter had already left. Yeah, Eric. Yes. They they wrote that SOS up on the roof, but like by the time they were writing the SOS, it was like they were trying to finish it up, and the helicopter was already like flying overhead and going away. And we were talking about how how many other helicopters passed by them in that whole time that they were sitting inside not doing anything.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

I don't remember that at all. Not even a bit. Good thing I got that question right.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

But I will give you a partial answer because I do like the rationing, the rationing, the rationalization of trusting strangers too quickly and letting somebody who was already bit, even though they didn't know, but you're getting partial credit for that.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Alright, we'll take it.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Okay. So you get points, but you don't get the you don't get the uh reward. TJ got points.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

How did TJ get points?

SPEAKER_00 8:31

TJ got the bonus points for recording the episode.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Good thing we're on a team.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Um, you know what? So then I'm going to cancel those out and just give you guys the skill. So because TJ answered with the bonus points and you guys got partial credit, uh, I'm gonna give you the the reward, which is high ground awareness. Oh. You guys can avoid ambush in the future scenarios.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

That's not that's not foreshadowing anything, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

No, not at all. There's no way. Okay. In the episode Man vs. Beast, could 100 humans defeat a gorilla? The question, according to the podcast, what is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle? Opposable thumbs. A, the gorilla's bite force. B, human coordination, C, gorilla's speed, D, terrain advantage.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

What was the question? What was the most according to the podcast?

SPEAKER_00 9:28

What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle?

SPEAKER_03 9:33

I think human coordination was what we said, right? We did talk about terrain because we were saying, like, if you put a gorilla in an empty room with a hundred men, it immediately loses, but maybe in like a jungle, I'm pretty sure man loses. But I don't think that was what we were saying was like the sorry, one more time to question. What's the exact wording of that?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle?

SPEAKER_03 9:58

I don't think we underestimated that. I think what we what I at least underestimated was human coordination.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

That's why I I'll tell you this. Don't try to overthink the questions. These are it's pulling from the transcripts and what we actually said. So don't don't, it's not a trick question. The question comes from the transcripts and it's worded specifically.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Well, I think the most underestimated factor is the size of the gorilla's penis, which is about three centimeters. That's true. No, that's overestimated.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

That was the overestimated. This is what is the most underestimated factor. No, no, I understand hypothetical battle.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Which we talked about.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

We did talk about it. I thought it was two centimeters.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

It's like 1.5 to 3.

unknown 10:45

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

TJ's hung like a silverback gorilla. A gorilla's bite force. B, human coordination, C, gorilla's speed, D, terrain advantage.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

I feel like it's B. Talk to us, TJ. I don't think it's terrain advantage.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

Um, I don't either. And I don't think it's the other ones.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I feel like speed might be what the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_03 11:07

See, I'm not gonna lie to talk about these questions are too great. I don't think we did. Because uh, we immediately were talking about it and we were like, yeah, it's fucking fact.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Do you think you underestimated the gorilla's bite force?

SPEAKER_03 11:22

I don't think so. I think we know that thing can chomp you. But in our conversations, yeah, I'm so curious how you got these questions because I'm not liking these questions. I just don't know.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

You don't like any questions.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Yeah, because you ask weird questions.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Alex, for the last time, can you read out the question?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle? And I've given you the fucking answer by now. I think it's B. And then what are the what are the gorilla's bite force, human coordination, gorilla's speed, terrain, advantage?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Human coordination.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

That's what I think.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

You guys both agree. Yeah, yes, that is correct.

Man vs Beast: Human Coordination Debate

SPEAKER_03 12:00

Wow. So when I said human coordination, and then you decided to to let me just let you guys know. Don't overthink the question. So you're just trying to throw me off?

SPEAKER_00 12:09

No, I was talking to TJ. Oh. Well, and then you started questioning you started, you started uh if you question him, you question me. You started over like overthinking it at that point. You already had the right fucking answer, and then you were like gonna go away from it.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

I wasn't gonna go away from it. I was stuck on it. Yeah, pardon me. I feel confident we got one right. What's our power?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

And you guys, you guys got the bonus too, because the three centimeters.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Hung like a gorilla, baby.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Do we get uh is our bonus power that we now have we're not gonna be like gorillas?

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Your reward is tactical unity. You guys can combine your gear in round four. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Also, as a black man, I don't really think I should say I'm hung. I think there's a really bad connotation with that. That's you know yeah, you know, you could say that.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Oh my lord. Meaning one thing and accidentally saying another. Caution, he's black. Caution, warning, even I am black. You should get that tattooed.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Don't censor us.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

You know, you know, like those warning symbols like the triangles.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

I think I should I should add the TJ sound effect every time I say that.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Don't censor, don't censor him, TikTok. He's black.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

You know, like a fucking siren. I'm ready. We should do that. We should get a lady to do it.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

I'm gonna start calling him ninjato. Caution, TJ is black. Get your wife to do it. Like in the voice of the like in the voice of the portal robot. Or backup. Thank you for sharing. All right. Next question comes from the Conjuring 3 Demonic Defense.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Uh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

What survival lesson was drawn from the real life possession case? A. Always carry holy water. B, trust your instincts. C, stay calm under pressure. D, avoid basements.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

I feel like it was D. I feel like it's avoid basements. Uh yeah. That sounds like something we were talking about.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

No, a third one.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Third one? Right?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

It's the third one.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

What was the third one? The third one was the devil made me do it.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Yeah, I'm going for bonus points here. I I don't think I can reference Yeah, what was a quote we said? I don't know. The only thing I remember from that one is the scene where the dudes actually that when the devil makes him do it. The devil indeed made him do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Oh, we mentioned something about how this was the first time in court that uh the court acknowledged the existence of the devil.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

But did they?

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Is that a close enough quote? Yeah, because he got a lesser sentence for it, right? They successfully proved well, maybe they what maybe they pleaded insanity.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

No, they did not allow the defense for the devil made me do it, but they were successfully able to argue uh from down from murder to the city.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

I was annoyed in that episode because at the start, because like they just like completely ignore the fact that bro, like the kid because it went from the kid to the dude, right? And they just ignored the fact, like she's seen the shit happen, and then they're just like, eh, it's probably fine.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

I can't think well, okay. Here's a quote I remember saying um in that episode uh never invite a demon to possess you. You're you're not going to you're not going to save anybody by doing that. You're only gonna make things worse.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Okay. Close enough.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Um now I can be your engine.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

I think I think it's D, but also there's no basements in this movie, right? Besides the underground tunnels, really. I guess you could call that a basement. Because there was like the the Reverend's basement that led to the tunnels. I mean, let's just go with Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Alright, uh yeah, let's let's go with D.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Okay. That is wrong.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

I kind of thought so.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

It was stay calm under pressure, and I actually said that.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

We weren't listening.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

I was going to give you credit for getting it right because that is a direct quote. That was something that I had said. The survival aspect of this movie that we could take away from it is you need to stay calm under pressure. Look at how Home Dude, uh, playing Ed Warren, was really quite um, he was put on his heels. You remember when that corpse got up and was charging at him?

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Oh, yeah. And he was still like calm when he was all I could think about is how I said Ed and Elizabeth Warren in a different episode. Yeah, that's all I could think about.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

That was you did say that.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

That was in Geopardy.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Okay, well, you guys got that wrong, but you did get the bonus point. So I am willing to ask you a follow-up question regarding, or actually, I'm sorry, not follow-up question. I want to give you guys a chance to um to answer a scenario of Mr. Host. You can get the points.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

This game is hard.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Shut up. I wanna go home.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Do you want to go for the points? Or you just gonna leave it?

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Let's go for the points. Yeah, fuck it, why not? Let's go for the points.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Okay for the points. So I'm gonna guess that TJ's gonna defer to you, Eric. Why? Because it's related to the Conjuring 3. Oh. And if you were to be in a situation where you had to perform an exorcism. Oh shit. What items would you want with you?

SPEAKER_03 17:43

Ah, five. Holy water. Shit. So here's the thing. The bite. Here's the thing. Honestly, holy water, I don't think that's an actual thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but that is not what I think you need.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

What do you think the reaction is based on if it's not on the holy water? I I I think it's just the word of God.

Conjuring 3: Calm Under Pressure

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Well, when you're blessing holy water, the atoms of holiness actually intermingle with the hydrogen and oxygen in the water. Crazy. Back to reality called holy water.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

I personally maybe I'm wrong because I genuinely don't know much about exorcisms, as fascinating as they are. Um I really don't know that much about them, like in reality. Uh I feel like holy water is more of just a Catholic thing. I don't think that's actually necessary in exorcisms.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Or I feel like I would want to demons or Christian demons.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

I feel like I would want my Bible and I maybe a cross, but other than that, I don't know what else you would really need besides God.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

I keep my copy of the Quran handy for the djinn.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Quick way to get possessed. Um, I will give it to you. What what it uh uh I would tell you is most cultures reference that these rituals are claimed to actually work. Um but they're based on rites and rituals. And what it typically is referred to is the faith of the person and their use of that item, their faith in God that God will empower that item to work in the manner that they are using it.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

That's why I feel like you mostly like that's why holy water.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

I feel like well, I feel like if you have if the priest is like really believes in the rights that God empowers them through those rites and rituals, then I think it would work.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Well, that's when I feel like you wouldn't even need that. Like you have your Bible, you have the word of God, and did didn't Jesus say um to cast out demons in his name?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

I give you the power to heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out demons.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

He didn't say with holy water or with a cross. He just said that. So I but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

In the guy, and he's like, Well, there's one thing that we can use to get him out of there. Read, nigga, read! And he holds a book and he's like, Alright, start beating him with whatever you got, and he pulls out a belt and starts whipping them. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

So wait, what what's that what's that book? Windswept house or about the exorcism.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Well, there's a bunch. Windswept house is about the corruption in the Catholic Church.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

No, what's no, there there's one, Dr. Scott.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Hostage to the Narnia is the one that maybe there's hostage to the devil, there's the demonologist.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

Chronicles of Narnia? Fuck off.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

As Lane is Jesus, you can't change from mind.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

There's uh yeah, but that's not about oh um um not about possession. You might be talking about holy blood, holy grail.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

No, maybe I I was thinking of Windswept House.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

I mean Windswept House was the the it was from a priest's perspective on the corruption in the Catholic Church, which was the demonic takeover of the church. I mean, it was really wicked demonic activity.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

Wasn't there a book that like went into detail about exorcism? Bert's hostage to the devil. Burt and Ernie go to Compton?

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yeah, that was uh Malcolm. Shut up. Why why why do demons have to be in Compton only? Burt and Ernie. What kind of racist is this?

SPEAKER_01 21:44

We're not in Sesame Street anymore, Ernie.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

You guys ready for the next question?

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yeah, let's move on. Cookie monsters there. Hey niggas, that nigga blue.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Dude, you're gonna get us fucking banned right now.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

I'm looking, I'm looking forward to it.

Life of Pi: The Case for the Tarp

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Life of Pie. Lifeboat logic. What item was deemed most versatile for survival on the lifeboat? Fishing kit, tarp, compass, tiger repellent.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Uh, tarp. Easy. Tarp. Tarp equals map, tarp equals blanket, tarp equals shelter.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

And and I would like to reference the fact that that entire episode I was like. He's gonna mention religion. He's gonna mention religion. Fuck! Because you never didn't. And we did not. Even though that's a big part of the fucking movie.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Just so you guys know, the bonus point is named or the the the reward you guys earned the tarp of tenacity. Yes. Okay. This is uh a multi-use map of tenacity. This is a multi-use gear. It can be repurposed. Should we be writing this down? Scenario. No. Okay. You don't need to.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

I was like, do I gotta get out my end character sheet or what?

SPEAKER_00 23:03

I got you covered from my end. I'm just it's just whether you guys get the point or not that I have to do.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Right when it's repurposed, this sounds like some DD shit. It could be repurposed into anything.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

We're um we've been doing this uh this role-playing stuff a little bit, and I want to get my feet wet in it.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

It could okay, let's pick different words. Yeah, see, I knew that's where that was gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

What the hell?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah, that's the type of roleplay we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

What would you want to get wet?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

You're Aquaman, and I'm a helpless seal.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

What are we even saying? Move on, move on. Next question. Did we get it right? Yeah, we got the map. Move on.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Also, wouldn't it make more sense for Aquaman to be bald since he's smart?

SPEAKER_03 23:54

Oh, because we're gonna tarp of tenacity, it could be anything, and obviously we're gonna make it a map.

Pandora Tactics: Read the Wildlife

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Okay, okay, all right. All right, in this episode, it's Avatar, Pandora Survival. What environmental cue was emphasized as vital for survival on Pandora? Bioluminescence, animal migration patterns, tree height, or air quality?

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Okay, two things. One, I missed the question, so none of those answers made any sense to me. But two, it's because I was thinking about the quote. Uh the the quote was that you guys kept saying this was space Pocahontas. Okay, easy. I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Easy point. Um, what was the question? All right, what environmental cue was emphasized as vital for survival on Pandora? What environmental cue know the answer read the bioluminescence? Nope. Animal migration patterns, tree height? Nope. Or air quality?

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Nope. Tree hugging. No. Final answer. It's okay, Eric. Shut the fuck up. Nope. We didn't agree on it. Animal migration.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Tree hugging it is. That is the wrong answer. Oh my god. It is animal migration.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Yeah, it's it's like when um when he first gets to the forest, I believe there's like, you know, once the real b shit comes out, you know, the one uh puma thing. Yep, they run away.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Now, now just for for argument's sake, Eric's over here, I hate this game. Questions. Uh, you guys have only missed one point so far.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Yeah, and that was stupid. You're stupid.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

The fact that you missed that one.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Whoa, why are you hating on TJ like that?

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Why are you hating on TJ like that? What did he do to you?

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Okay, so this is what you guys gotta do. You're gonna face fictional survival scenarios inspired by season five. You're gonna choose you're gonna choose one of the three strategies and justify your choice. I'm going to award survival points based on your logic, creativity, and if you can throw in any pop culture references that might be a little extra. You ready?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yes, I think so. Thanks for the hat and mustache, Sam. Anyways.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

The scenario is a mall lockdown. This comes from Dawn of the Dead. So it's a mall lockdown, there's zombies outside, and there's a power outage. Do you barricade the second floor with mannequins? Do you escape via an underground tunnel, or do you climb to the roof and signal with flares?

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Oh fuck. All three of those options suck. Okay, I think barricading with mannequins is just a dumb idea, in my opinion. How is that gonna stop? Yeah, I don't see that stopping them at all, so I'm gonna say no on that one. Um going underground seems horrifying, and also trapping ourselves up on the roof seems horrifying.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

The worst levels in the last of us and shit.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

But also, we go to the roof. Let's say we're able to close the door and and and barricade it. Then what? You go to the roof and we we signal with flares and hope that something flies by and sees us and that they're gonna stop and get us. That is correct. I feel like tunnels are the only option, but that sounds horrifying.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Um, I feel like because the answer to one of the questions was not utilizing the roof. Fuck it. Let's go to the roof. Let's go roof.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Okay. Next one comes from man versus beast, 100 humans versus silverback gorilla. Would you uh operate in uh concentric distraction circles, use environmental barriers, trees, uh, rocks, uh, would you try psychological mimicry?

SPEAKER_01 27:54

I like the concentric circle thing. Well, I'm not gonna mimic it because it's just gonna get real racial um if I start banging on my chest. Um although that would do numbers on Vine.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

I mean Yes, it would.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

If we play some if we play some berry manilo while you do that, it might work.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Get it Vine, because it's a job. I think the real uh the real answer is twist his dick.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Grab his dick and twist it!

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Oh my god. It's a UFC fire. The old dick twist. The old dick twist. Twist his dick! Oh my god.

unknown 28:31

The old dick twist.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Anyway, all right.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

So which one are you going? Concentric distraction circles, environmental barriers, psychological mimicry.

SPEAKER_03 28:38

The environmental barriers, I feel like a gorilla is just going to either throw the rock away over the rock. I don't think so. I think hear me out. Uh that sounds like a great idea. Bears, right? Consider that.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

That's a bear. You stand tall, you bean loud, right? So for which bear? Huh? For which bear? If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. And if it's exactly so it's not the bears.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

If it's a brown bear, you do not want to make a lot of noise. It's a brown bear. I could sleep a fucking brown bear.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

There's dinner.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

No, if it's a brown bear, you don't want to make noise because yeah, exactly. He's just going, oh wow, my dinner's letting me know where he is. I would certainly pretend you don't exist with a brown bear.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

I would Mike Tyson a fucking brown bear. And you would die. You would end up like the revenant. I would be inside that motherfucker for warmth after I'm bleeding out, but guess what? I still won the fight. You'd be inside his stomach. Bitch, it'd be like brother bear in this bitch. I would then gain the spirit of the bear and have to take care of its cub. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you lose to a brown bear.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Keny!

SPEAKER_02 29:43

What are you gonna choose with a silver back gorilla?

SPEAKER_03 29:45

It's not a brown bear. Which is also not a bear and highly territorial.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Well, it would see me and it was it would think that I was with it.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

I'm gonna go concentric circles.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Concentric circles, I think, is actually the right answer.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Because when he said that, I was just like, wow, that's Sounds like a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Okay. Then I'm awarding points by the way as we're going. Next is the Conjuring Three.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

I got this.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Haunted farmhouse voice whispers your name. Do you create a salt circle? Confront the voice? Trap the entity with a mirror.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Uh D run away. What? You can't. You can't run away. And these are the three options we're thinking of?

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Yep. Does it whisper does it whisper my government name or TJ?

SPEAKER_03 30:26

That's a fair question.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

The one that would scare you the most.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

So it's the Emmy.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Anyways. Oh my god, a ghost! And it's like a pointy head. Oh my god, a racist ghost.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

It could put a pebble on his head.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

It's like, oh my god, a racist. He's like, boo!

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Oh my god, a racist ghost!

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Um trap it with a fucking mirror. What the I look like? I I've never heard that one. You trap it with a mirror.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

The salt saker shake or the salt circle feels like that actually wouldn't do anything. It's not a fucking vampire. Um well vampires aren't afraid of salt. What's don't you sprinkle salt at your entrances for vampires or something?

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Well, vampires, if you let them in, then they come in. Yeah, you have to invite them in. I'm gonna have sinners as our one of our next coaster salt.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Uh what was the what was B? Confront the voice. Yo, ninja. Where's D? Grab your yeah, like leave.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Uh I would do salt circle. But the problem with leaving is they'll just follow you. Where's D? Grab your Bible. No, I'm I'm I'm purposefully screwing you guys. Where's grab the B, grab your Quran? I'm I'm making it, I'm making it harder on you. So you're going salt circle, right? Where's F? Start your Muslim prayer. Okay. All right, in life of Pi, lifeboat. Oh, some of the on board anyway. Storm approaching. Build a shelter, tame the tiger, or jump and tether.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

There was no taming that tiger.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Yeah, you're not gonna have enough time if the storm is approaching. Well, give me the give me the options again.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Build a shelter, tame the tiger, jump and tether. I think it's C.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

If this is life a pie, there's nothing to really build a shelter with other than climbing into the little food storage under the tarp, which is the tiger's den. You can't really tame the tiger, so yeah, jump and tie yourself. I'm gonna go see, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

And in Avatar, you crash landed on Pandora. Do you follow bioluminescent trails? Climb a tree, build a signal fire.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Am I one of the blue guys?

SPEAKER_00 32:35

You have to be, kinda, right? I mean we won't be able to do that. I guess you could be, I guess you could be in the suit.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Uh climb a tree using the rules of Avatar. You gotta get high ground. You gotta agree. You gotta put the the fire out, or else the shit will find you, and then most of the shit on the ground is trying to kill you at night. Um, so yeah, climb a tree. Climb into one of those leaf things, those little hammocks, which looks so cold. Like there's no like insulation to that.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

You're just like open, exposed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

I feel very good right now. Could I plug my penis into Awa?

SPEAKER_00 33:08

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

But I'm pretty sure that's what that hair is. Yeah, can I plug my penis into the spirit tree? I need to know.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

But what I will tell you is You connect your pubes. This is the first time you guys didn't get first time you didn't get maximum point. Oh because what she taught him was connecting your pubes to No, she taught him to put out the fire and follow the bioluminescent trail.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Oh, yeah, and then climb a tree. I mean Yeah, they did a lot of climbing trees, I gotta say, but okay you got some points.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Okay. You ready?

SPEAKER_03 33:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

So now in this round, we are going to do uh rapid fire, and there are trapdoor challenges. So if you guys get this wrong, uh you're gonna be more screwed than you want to be. You ready? Alexa by 21 bullets. You're gonna face the uh trivia questions. Let me make sure I I did this right. Let me make sure I did this right.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Alexa play black hole by Eric Sallas. Someone's left.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

You're gonna face these trivia questions, and a wrong answer activates the trapdoor. Okay. Again, you get bonus points for quoting the podcast. So if you quote us that episode, you can save yourself from the trapdoor.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

If you get the the question wrong.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

And if we go through the trapdoor, did you say that?

SPEAKER_00 34:28

If you go through the trapdoor, you're gonna face the consequence. Okay. What I have waiting for you.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

Oh, how fun. All right.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Um, actually, I'm sorry, there's more to it. Bonus points for quoting the podcast, referencing real world survival tactics, or improvising under pressure. Ready?

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

And if you survive these uh scenarios, you also get a um if you survive all of the scenarios, you get a uh plot armor. You get plot armor tokens.

SPEAKER_03 34:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:54

You ready?

SPEAKER_03 34:55

And can we use those said tokens later?

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Yeah, in the next round.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

Oh, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Next, next and uh final round. What was the most overlooked threat inside of the mall? The most overlooked threat inside of the mall.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

I want to say zombie baby.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

Infection spread via wounds, human betrayal, lack of food, generator failure. What was the most overlooked threat inside of the mall?

SPEAKER_03 35:21

I would say human betra. Well, I'm kind of stuck between human betrayal and what was A?

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Infection spread via wounds. That one. You think that was overlooked?

SPEAKER_03 35:35

Either that or uh Well, no, that wasn't overlooked because they they kind of mentioned that when he cut himself at the fountain, I think.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

I feel like generator. I don't think they were really worried about power. They weren't thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

I mean, I I honestly I don't really know. I'll let you let's go with the generator one.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

I meant Can you quote? Can you quote the podcast? Give a real world scenario, real world survivor scenario from that episode?

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Um Eric is absolutely drunk right now. He's gotten into the bar. He keeps drinking and he just won't stop.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

I don't even care anymore. It's like, what are we even living for?

SPEAKER_00 36:15

Okay, fair enough.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

There are like ambulances and shit. Did you hear that explosion? Yeah, back to you, Tiffany. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Now, on to the next. Uh there it is. What was the estimated bite force of a silverback gorilla? 800 PSI, 1300 PSI, 2000 PSI, or 600 PSI.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

800 sounds right. Can give me the answers again.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

800 PSI, 1300 PSI, 2000 PSI, 600 PSI.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

I feel like it's 800, but I have no actual knowledge to back that up. It's just a feeling.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

1300.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

Really?

SPEAKER_01 36:56

I don't know. It's the the the 1300 being there, and then the 2000.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

Yeah, but that's why I think 800 and 600 are, and the way that 800 is A.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

600 is way too little, and 800 is just like two above that. I feel like 13.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

Yeah, 200 above that, not just two. That's what I meant. 13 above it. But the bite, it's bite force.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

Do you know how fucking strong a jaw is? Yeah, I'm pretty sure a crocodile's is like in the thousands. Yeah, so imagine the uh gorillas bite through like crocodiles have one of the strongest bites on the planet, I'm pretty sure. I think they're I think it's 800. I think there's a reason he went 800, 1300, 2600.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Sam agrees with me. She said, shut up, Eric.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

It's 1300. If it's not 1300, what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 37:42

He's gonna have to door. Yeah, what do you what do you want me to do, Eric? Do you do I could do a fucking forfeit for it? You know, do a backflip, I'll do it right now. If it's not 1300, if it's not 1300, I will literally lick Maddie's armpit.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

All right. It's not 1300. Well, go lick. I'm I'm I'm lying, but I want to see this. You're lying? Completely. Oh, so it is 1300.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

Yeah, 3700. Uh that's what I thought. Yeah, I was right though. Crocodile still has a stronger bite force. It does still look at one of the strongest in the world.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Yeah, that's in that's they just don't have an opening force.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

That's their yeah, they have no opening force. You can hold it with your bare hand.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

Just duct tape will stop them.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Yeah, but once they bite down, yeah, and then they do the roll.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

You ever see that video of it biting another crocodile and spinning guys?

SPEAKER_03 38:33

Yeah, and ripping the arm off?

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:35

Yeah. That the death roll. Yeah, the death roll is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

All right, you ready? Yeah. Yeah. What survival tactic was emphasized in demonic possession scenarios? Holy water, staying calm, exorcism rituals, avoiding mirrors.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

So this is fucking stupid because it's either B or C.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

What's up with the mirrors? You keep putting up mirrors.

SPEAKER_03 38:55

Stupid. It's just fucking stupid because it's not the holy water thing. So what was B and C?

SPEAKER_00 39:00

B is staying calm, C is exorcism rituals.

Final Extraction: Gear, Skills, and Plot Armor

SPEAKER_03 39:04

Even dumber. Because we literally talked about rituals and rites just now, and then we also fucking talked about uh what what was B? I'm really blanking here. Staying calm. Staying calm. Yeah, yeah, because I think that's fucking stupid. Staying calm.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Staying calm. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Fuck am I gonna do look in a mirror? Go ghost. I had to reggae fucking Ariga. What? Sorry. Okay. I don't know what I'm on this episode. You ready?

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Yeah, I'm ready. In life of Pi, what item was most versatile on the lifeboat? Tarp.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

Give us the answers, please.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

You want it? Okay. Compass, tarp, fishing rod, tiger repellent.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

It was tarp. Tarp. Motherfucker did not fish at all, other than the flying fish getting into the boat. He was trying though. He didn't fucking pull nothing off, dude.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

He didn't. Let's be fair. He was he was in an aquatic desert. Most of the tile. The most what did I say? Oh, that went too far. That went too far.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

I'm pretty sure you said most versatile. Versatile. Yeah, I wouldn't describe that as very versatile.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

The tarp?

SPEAKER_03 40:24

No, the fishing rod.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Oh, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Eric's just he's he's beefing this episode. He's like, that's such a stupid fucking thing. We already talked about that.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Beefs every episode.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Well, I had to like.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

And I somehow win so much. I don't, I really don't get it. I was thinking about it recently. How?

SPEAKER_01 40:49

Eric's just a certified beefer.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

You guys just like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Here we go. This round is called Final Extraction. This is a season five mega mashup.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

And is this the one where we can combine our gear?

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

So you have. Let me come on, wake up. You have you have a compass. We're gonna say it's a bioluminescent compass so that way we're not there's no darkness. You don't have to worry about it being dark in any room and you can't read the compass. So we're calling it a bioluminescent compass. Oh yeah. You have a I'm calling it a tiger deterrent spray, but to be fair, it's not for tigers. I got it because it was uh life of pie. So this will buy you time against any zombies or predators. Time only. Okay. Okay. It doesn't, it doesn't uh it won't keep them away. God damn it, stop things so twingey. And you guys have salt. Okay. You can make your own salt circle. For ghosts. You have a what I called a primate distraction kit, but it's not exclusively for primates. And you're gonna understand this in just a minute. But this is to distract any uh any predators coming at you, similar to the uh tiger deterrent spray. And you have the I I called it the mall map, but it's just a map. So you know exactly where you're going. So we have two tarps? Yes. Yes. That's crazy. You have all of that, and then you have the skills, you have the high ground awareness, you have the tactical unity, which means you guys can coordinate and share your gear. You have your mental fortitude, which means you can go into areas that have high paranormal activity and keep your sanity.

SPEAKER_03 42:43

Oh yeah. Just take my sanity.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

You have Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tactical unity means you guys uh working together as a team, you're um you're able to face this this scenario, this uh extraction together. You have the tarp of tenacity, which means you can combine all of your gear together. And you have eco intuition, which means you get to you can uh understand all of your surroundings better. You know what's all around you at all times. You said what can we do with the tarp? The tarp of the tarp of tenacity means you can uh combine all of your all of your gear together.

SPEAKER_03 43:31

Okay now we can combine all of our gear together.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Yeah, you guys you you guys can basically think of it like um think of it like in Resident Evil, even if you choose to split up, you guys still have all of your safe room items.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

So I'm not I'm not trying to coordinate who has what all the time, so I'm I'm really I really pushed for you guys to win that one so that I didn't have to keep track of who has what gear all the time.