Plastic Bags, Neck Pillows, And Other Terrible Survival Plans

AI isn’t “coming” to media, it’s already running the floor. After a huge week at NAB in Las Vegas, we come back with one big question: what happens when the most powerful tools in broadcasting and content creation move faster than the rules meant to keep people safe? We talk about AI in broadcasting workflows, the uneasy vibe around hacking, and why regulation always seems a few years behind reality. 

Then we pivot to the real “will you survive” angle: crowds. Festivals, conventions, concerts, even malls can go from normal to dangerous in minutes when planning fails or panic hits. We pull lessons from infamous event disasters, argue about what people should expect from organizers, and admit how quickly most of us stop thinking like “prepared” adults the moment we’re on a trip and trying to have fun. 

Finally, we get practical about travel safety and TSA reality. If you’re flying to a packed event, what can you actually bring that helps in an emergency? We debate the boring answers that work: water, snacks, basic first aid, and a flashlight, plus the simple strategy of buying what you need after security. It’s messy, it’s chaotic, and yes, it derails into internet weirdness and “Humanimals” improv, but the takeaway is real: preparedness has to be portable, legal, and simple. 

Subscribe to Will You Survive the Podcast, share this with your most “I’ll figure it out later” friend, and leave a review if you want more scenarios like this. What’s one item you always carry that makes you feel safer in a crowd?

Transcript

Introductions And Rivalry

SPEAKER_03 0:24

Hello, survivors, and welcome to another episode of Will You Survive the Podcast? I am your host, Alex, because I won last season. I know these guys are gonna argue and say I didn't win the whole season, but between you and I, I did. I I won.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

I think the numbers are so not in your favor for that. I won. I don't care what they say.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

And you all know it's true.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know how, but you really don't win that often.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Because you two conspire against me.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

It's not a conspiracy, it just kind of happens. Look, it's not my fault that I'm literally the funniest person in this call, and it's also not his fault that he's obsessed with me. So the funniest person.

SPEAKER_05 1:16

So why are you so obsessed with me, girl? I wanna know.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

And now that we've been copyrighted and sued.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

And to pass off that liability, I want to introduce you to my co-host.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

I don't want to be here. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

I'm joined by co-host number one, Eric.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

That's not me. No. I legally distinct, not per not that person. That's him.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

And co-host number two, TJ.

SPEAKER_05 1:41

The T and the J stand for Tyrannosaurus Johnson.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

That is true. We've said that many times. That's true. We've seen it.

SPEAKER_05 1:54

Alexa, look up how big Alexa. Alexa!

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Alexa, show me TJ's Wiener.

SPEAKER_05 2:03

Yeah, if you say that to Alexa, it will happen.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Someone's Alexa showing TJ's Wiener right now.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

I would kind of be interested in knowing how that would happen.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Well, AI's gotten crazy.

NAB Vegas Trip Explained

SPEAKER_03 2:16

AI has gotten crazy. On that note, fellas, I don't know if you know what this weekend and week was. Um a nightmare. Kind of.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

But it was a very big week in Vegas. Starting on Sunday, ending today. It was NAV. Oh. Yeah, no, not strippers. Although I do think they use hookers.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Was there strippers at NAV?

SPEAKER_03 2:43

I'm I'm not sure if there were strippers. They were most likely high-end hookers.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

It would be really funny if they're like, look at this new broadcasting equipment, and to show it off, we brought some girls from down from down the road.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Well, here's the thing: it's not like that. It's you walk up to these exhibits, and there are these bombshell women standing in the front. And everybody has to wear a badge, right? You need a badge to get in. And you register ahead of time, you go, you you get to registration, you get your badge, you have to show your badge to even get into the into the convention center.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Wait, wait, really quick. We never said what NAB was.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Anybody who knows knows.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Yeah, but nobody none of our audience knows.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

NAB is National Association of Broadcasters.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah, I want a poll of who knew that already. Yeah, really quick.

SPEAKER_05 3:38

Explain every single thing that you guys has guys have said for the last five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Ah, interesting.

SPEAKER_05 3:43

Just for our audience, just so they they remember.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Just for those who weren't listening. Not me.

SPEAKER_05 3:48

Those who weren't listening to the podcast that is specifically meant to be listened to.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

To help TJ out. Wait, be like Netflix. Hooker is a lady of the night.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Wait, be like Netflix. You have to repeat the plot like seven times in the same scene. Do they? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:03

People have already zoned up. You know what's a new thing now? Come on.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

That's a new thing now where Netflix has legitimately openly admitted, like, yeah, we like baby feed the plot in movies now because people's attention spans are so bad.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Because I and I think that's true. Because I think about older movies where it's like there'd be a scene where one small detail happens and you're like, that changes everything.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Well, I thought I got everybody's attention with hookers and drugs.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

I mean, probably not the attention we want or the people we want. True. Because like everybody that we wanted is like, you know, the virgins. And they're and they're like, oh man, like that's too scary. And then all the people we don't want are like, yeah, brother.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Maybe I should talk about the fact that what the hookers are used for is to get everybody's attention to go over to the booth because they were exhibiting all of the technology of today. AI being one of the biggest things that's on display. AI's use in everything. Yeah. AI was everywhere. So you had exhibitors like Microsoft, Dell, uh, you had all of the broadcasters, you had streamers, you had uh camera companies like Sony and Canon.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Did y'all hear about that new AI program that Anthropic came up with that can basically hack like anything, and they're not releasing it to everybody. They're only releasing it to select corporations with limited or like with restrictions. What? Yeah, apparently it's like not good. Like it it can hack almost any website, and everybody's like, oh, so like nothing is safe right now. And that's what I was talking about earlier, where I feel like we're we're in this period, like this transition period, where there's like no regulation on this really, and uh it's like a scary, like, ah, the internet's the devil, but now it's like ah, AI is the devil. And it's like, I feel like it's gonna suck for a little bit until we can figure out some safeguards for it.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

But yeah, old people laws seem very oblivious to the facts.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Well, yeah, they're like 80. They're like, What's AI?

SPEAKER_03 6:03

Well, here's the worst part because the old people who make our laws haven't made a single fucking law. It's all of the people who pay for their campaigns that write all of all of the laws and then they sign their name to it and don't even know what they're signing.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

So let me also uh let me point out this. There was apparently a representative who just died. Uh he was 80. He just died. He was running for his 13th consecutive term. You know, I don't think I'm wrong in this. I think a representative serves two years.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Uh representative serves.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

That's almost 26 years as a public servant.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

Uh I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't mind if he wasn't 80.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

I just feel like after like 65, 70, I'm like, I I don't think you should be making the rules for everybody now.

SPEAKER_05 6:53

I'm starting to think about freezing like fucking Mitch McConnell, you need to go home.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

If you have to, they they should have to retake their driver's test. And if they have to do that, they probably shouldn't be making the laws of the country.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Well, so you guys make me think of you remember the old saying, those who can't do teach. Maybe that should be extended. Those who can't do teach, and those who can't do or teach legislate.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Yeah, I'm down for that. I like that. I still I stand by this. I I've said this a lot. Um, it's something that I think uh it was Robin Williams who said Congress people should have to um on their placard or whatever, have all the emblems of people who donated to their campaign. I want to know who's funding you.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Oh, yeah, just like NASCAR just like NASCAR.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

Just like NASCAR. It'd be even better if on their suit they have to wear all the logos and emblems of the people who fuck them. I mean, it it's there, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:45

All of the information is publicly available. That's the thing. And they make it so difficult.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

They don't make it easy to figure out where they're getting their money from, which is why I'm like, no, that's bullshit. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. If you want to hide it, you shouldn't be taking that money. That's right. And so like I I think it would expose a lot. Yeah, if you're not willing to wear it on your suit, yeah, you shouldn't why are you accepting the money? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

So, anyway, back to the uh the point.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

But that is like will you but like I I do bring that up in like a kind of will you survive aspect where it's like that is that is very scary that AI has gotten that powerful. I'm gonna close my window.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

These sirens.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

The sounds, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Maybe that'd be crazy. And you know what? I'd I'd go give him a handshake.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

We know there are people who can uh find where we are just from like camera shots.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

You ever seen that one guy who like someone took like a selfie and there's like a corner of their of their window in it, and he was like, Yeah, so I like enhanced the image, found out what kind of tree was there, found out the the cloud pattern and the type of brick that was on the outside of the house, and then determined this is your address. And they're like, What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 9:06

Yeah, I know that's the internet is a scary place. Yeah, people are scary.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Well, that was kind of what we were talking about with AI now, and AI being the big showcase at NAB 2026, National Association of Broadcasters, for those who don't know. And it was a big deal. Uh, probably over 50,000 people were there. So AI is a big contender out there. Everybody's talking about it, everybody wants to know about it, and everyone's using it for all of the different components of their workflows today. Uh, it's a a big aspect of broadcast. Uh, we all know we use AI in our in our uh synopses and titling, and we utilize broadcasts.

SPEAKER_05 9:55

No, no, no, we don't. Not the titles.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Not the titles?

SPEAKER_05 10:00

I do the titles.

Can You Survive Huge Crowds

SPEAKER_03 10:01

Oh, wonderful. So AI making a big surge. But my question to you guys, anytime we've we've talked about this many times, we've been, everybody's been in crowded situations. So it makes me want to ask you guys will you survive scenarios based on large crowds? Oh. So if uh you know you take some real life examples, right? Raccoon City.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

So real life examples.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

I met real life examples like uh did you guys hear about Astro World 2021? No, what? Yeah, Travis Scott concert, Travis Scott.

SPEAKER_05 10:44

People died.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Sorry. Um, what was the other crazy one? Wasn't there one the fire festival?

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah, that one was bad. I've heard about that one. That one was bad.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

That one like goes to a whole nother level because they were on a freaking island. Yeah, like they trapped themselves on this island.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Island, or was it uh was it an island or was it like in the middle of the desert? Because I thought it was in the middle of the desert, and like no, there was no vendors to sell water. There were like there was nothing, it was bad. People were dying, like are you?

SPEAKER_05 11:17

I don't know if people were dying, but it was a common thing to the point where it could be Firefest or it could be some other fucking festival. Uh when it comes to like big crowds, like it seems like people are just highly unprepared, you know, hence Titanic and let's put like three fucking lifeboats on it. Hope everybody's cool.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Well, yeah, so like apparently the guy who did Fire Festival apparently went to pr like went to jail for that. And then when he got out, he was like, Fire Festival 2 coming soon. No way. I don't know if it ever actually happened. As of April 2025, a planned Fire Festival 2 has been postponed after organizers struggled to secure a location or provide a lineup.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

I don't know how anybody would even want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

So really funny.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

That begs the question.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

But hang on, I'm trying to figure out where he went because Fire Festival was a fraudulent catastrophic luxury music festival in the Bahamas. Uh yeah. Created by Billy McFarlane and Ja Rule. Ja Rule was involved? I did not know that. I did not know that.

SPEAKER_05 12:23

Ludacris is in this movie?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Ludacris is no Ludar! Wait, we can't say that. Wait, hang on. We don't think Ludacris was a part of Fire Festival. Maybe, but I don't think so. No, we can't say that. No, no, no, no. We can't say that. That's bad. No, no, no. That was a joke. That was a joke.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

That was it was yes. Firefestival was ludicrous. Ludacris was there. Luna.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Everybody's like, I need water. And he's like, ha ha. Luda.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

I will give you$250 if you could sing a fucking jaw rule song right now. You got me. I will give you a lot of. I was really hoping you were gonna say Luda. Nah, I was God give you my firstborn child if you could say a single line from a jaw rule song. I got nothing, buddy. And they're like, yo, let's have this guy do this festival thing. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

It's like he seems trustworthy. I'm not even sure it the one I know of is Jaw Rule. I I think it is, but I can only think of the girls' line. Which one? Um Am I Am I Ready? I think it says. I'm trying to remember the uh the phrasing. I can't remember the phrasing.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Probably not that relevant if we're being honest.

How Dangerous Is A Mall Crowd

SPEAKER_03 13:41

Anyway, the point is the point for will you survive the podcast is Will Will you survive a job rule song? Thinking about this large festival, 50 plus thousand people, uh that would be I think the prime place for uh a bad actor to want to focus on, right? Mm-hmm to attack. As they sometimes do, as they sometimes do. And it makes you wonder, you know, we've all had this conversation about the mall, you know, and there's no fifty thousand people at the mall.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

So how many people do you think are at a mall generally at one time?

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Small.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Like the Glendale Galleria. Hundreds.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

Small thousands. No, I it would it would be more than a hundred.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

It would be It'd be like a little bit more. But I would say under a thousand. Uh do you think it'd be closer to a thousand or like like six hundred?

SPEAKER_03 14:36

Well, why don't we look that up? I guess we could, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

You know, on the topic of AI and 250? You're insane. 250 is like a house or like like a normal like business. 250 max. It's that's like a big house that's converted into a business.

SPEAKER_05 14:52

That motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

What what did I do to you?

SPEAKER_05 14:57

You got on you got on the fucking the podcast with that haircut.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Wait, this is a lack of a haircut.

SPEAKER_05 15:05

Fuck you. So is this. We're the same person.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

What what is that that that uh sound that audio on TikTok where it's like this is blah, and this is blah, and we are not the same person. Okay, it's just me.

SPEAKER_05 15:21

You know what? Even if I didn't know what you were talking about, I don't think I would have responded.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

I think the silence is better. I've been on TikTok a little too much recently.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Oh, that's a little more than I thought, but uh concurrent visitors would be somewhere in the realm of 3,000 to 6,000 on a busy weekend day.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Damn, is that like throughout the whole day or at one time?

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Throughout uh at one time. That's there would be somewhere between 3,000 to 6,000. That's crazy. Throughout the whole day?

SPEAKER_05 15:48

That's like a little bigger than 250 max. That just a little bit. That was almost right. That parking lot makes so much more sense.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

We can't sing that because I really don't want to get too that's the one I was thinking of. I didn't even know that one.

SPEAKER_04 16:19

That's what he's saying.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I was when you were saying like if you could name one jaw rule, so I was really hoping you were gonna say Ludacris. You had one on deck. I had one fucking locked up or like locked and loaded.

SPEAKER_05 16:33

Big Luda fan here.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Luda! Name one. I said I had one locked up. Come on, man. I'm like, I'm hearing it in my head, but I'm I'm having a hard time getting the chorus. Easiest one is move, bitch, get out the way. That was Luda? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. I didn't know that. No, it was it's like, oh, oh, wait, isn't he on one of Tyo Cruz's songs? Yes. That's where I that that's what I'm thinking of. Which one was that?

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Uh that wasn't that hard.

The 2010s And Culture Shifts

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Yeah, yeah. That's the one I was thinking of. Man, I used to play that song a lot back in like 2010.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Back in like 2010. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

That was that was 16 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Yeah. The O10s.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

The O10s, man. Who the fuck says O Tens?

SPEAKER_03 17:17

My wife, that's where it came from. She she graduated in 010.

SPEAKER_05 17:22

We uh are we in the 020s?

SPEAKER_03 17:24

No. No, that's that would be ridiculous.

SPEAKER_05 17:27

Jeez, what are we dumb? Come on. Why would you say something?

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Don't even fuck. Don't even like that's insane.

SPEAKER_05 17:32

That's so stupid. The roaring 20s? Yes. Yeah, actually. I feel we're we're in history books.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

I think that's not currently. I think the 30s came early, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

We are in history books.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

When's when's that Great Depression hitting?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

I think it came early. Yeah, I I think the 20s were actually in the tens.

SPEAKER_03 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:52

Uh I think I think we need uh prohibition. I think that'll really boost our spirits, you know.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

I think your generation is doing that on its own. We need some alcohol running. It doesn't need a uh a law. You guys that your generation has almost stopped drinking.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

That's true.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

Yeah, and then like it's just like you get we're holding it down, guys.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

It's all on us. We're holding it down.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

That's all on you.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

No, my generation just prefers now to take mushrooms and then say that they're better than everybody else because they're so enlightened now.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Dude, have you tried lion's main mushroom? It's good for your brain cells.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

It's the it's always the people with the most absolute catastrophic dystopian lives who try to tell me, like, oh dude, you gotta do mushrooms. It just it really changes your life. And I'm like, you're not selling it to me. Your life is a dumpster fire. I would you know uh so rather not have the same experience as you.

SPEAKER_05 18:47

You know Teen Titans? Yeah, dude who Beast Boy got fired or whatever. Um, because he'd be saying some real wild shit. Anyways, he I want to hear Beast Boy say it's like he's a huge crystal guy. His whole bathroom's lined in crystal, and he he Okay he believes in like electromagnetic magnetic shit to like I'm sorry, no, one more time. What was that? Electromagnegro uh yeah, Mana get it. What was that? He has this like weight thing that he lifts, and his voice is literally just Beast Boy's voice, like he just didn't have to change it at all. So you just hear Beast Boy talking about healing crystals and whatever. So funny.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

So I'm not gonna lie, a girl, a girl who's really into astrology and crystals scares me more than anything.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

Well, that okay, so that makes me wonder. Do you guys know the band uh Crystal Castles? No, you never heard of them, TJ? No, you're pretty holy.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Did they play at the original jazz club?

SPEAKER_03 19:46

I have no idea. Uh the this is more my wife's group. I'd never known them. I only found the name because it's one of the songs that everybody uses on reels for um TikTok. It's uh like the creepy reels. And it's ironic because the song is titled Transgender. It's a pretty creepy song. Like it's a creepy sounding song. And I play it, and my wife is like, Oh yeah, I know that song. I was like, how do you know that song? She's like, Oh, I I used to listen to that song all the time. Damn it. Hold on, I gotta do this little thing. I'm uh I'm a human.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Is us talking not enough? Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

It's freaking ridiculous. But anyway, uh instantly my wife tells me, like, oh yeah, that group is insane. Like they are major Oh, yeah. Everybody uses that reel or that sound.

SPEAKER_05 20:42

Did you hear that, TJ? Um no.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

Here, hang on.

SPEAKER_05 20:50

Oh, it's just still cutting out. What's it called?

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Hang on, hang on, I got it, hang on.

SPEAKER_05 20:57

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Okay. Yeah. It was my wife who told me, like, oh, the whole I think it's a male and a female, and they both got into drugs majorly. They I think the guy is a real dirt bag and got her all messed up and then SA'd her.

SPEAKER_05 21:23

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

And then she sued him. So it's like all this crazy catastrophe. So I was like, after, you know, she tells me all this, I'm I'm looking at their name, I'm like, well, Crystal Castles, right? Like what else? What else are they talking about? But it's just that uh exactly what you were saying, you know, the people telling you how much better things will make your life. Just try it out. It'll change your life.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I'm like, Yeah, no, I'm I'm I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that one.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Thanks, but no thanks, Methany.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Yeah, like I don't know. It's like it's always coming from like a good place where they're like, oh, you know, it's it'll just like, you know, really make you feel like you really know what's going on. And I'm like, the problem is, is like it and god, this is gonna sound like kind of snobby, but it's like I'm not at that point where I feel like I need that to give my life enhance my life. Like I'm I feel pretty okay where I'm at, and I don't feel like I need that. No, I'm not against like mushrooms or anything, it's just when people are like, you need to do this. Like this will this will change your life. What is this guy doing?

SPEAKER_05 22:39

Just playing the sounds, anyways.

TSA Limits Survival Gear

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Anyways, so I want to know some of your guys' takes. We all think about this kind of stuff all the time. The reason why I'm thinking about uh the particular f uh convention out in Vegas is because the majority of the people who went there flew. So that takes away your option of carrying a piece, right? So what would you try to entirely for the most part? Let's just assume you don't check it in a uh in a case with ammunition and take it out there, do the whole thing, right? Let's say you just go with carry-on, because it's only a couple of days. Um you just take your carry-on, few things, toothbrush, toothpaste. But what else would you carry that would pass FAA regulations to go to a large festival planning for uh disaster to strike? How would you prepare yourselves? What kind of items would you take with you, TJ?

SPEAKER_05 23:41

3D printed blinker.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

A 3D printed? Yeah. What kind of what kind of rounds would that take? I mean, would those be concealable?

SPEAKER_05 23:48

I mean, it's probably like uh you know a couple time use before it burns up, but you just gotta carry a firing pin, turn that shit to a necklace or something, sneak that through TSA, boom.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

Okay, my my whole my whole point is you don't have one of those. Hey, you don't have a 3D printer, so what if I don't 3D print one? You don't.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

DJ, pull it out. We bought a 3D print No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Okay, that'd be really funny though.

SPEAKER_05 24:16

So like I'm preparing to go to Firefest type.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

You're gonna go to the Fire Festival.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Hey, this is this is a premonition. Bring water. You'll be so rich, dude.

SPEAKER_05 24:29

No, because you know, if you give somebody drugs, then they'll just forget they need water.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Clearly. Yeah, but then you that customer won't be coming back.

SPEAKER_05 24:37

Okay, here's here's my plan. Here's my plan. Here's my plan. That's how they all become zombies. I procure a certain illicit drug that makes you believe that you're a fish. And I bring a shitload of water. I mean making better.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 24:51

Yeah, and I put it in the water. So then they'll want more water.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

That's ooh, see? Now yeah, I'm I'm back on board.

SPEAKER_05 24:58

Uh you're muffs because jaw rule's there. Umson. Just who the fuck thinks a jaw rule. Um, realistically, I don't know. I feel like, yeah, you should probably if you're going to be like somewhere, you should probably bring your own fucking water if you can, maybe on like with like a camel back, you know, type deal.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

I'm not gonna lie, the whole um FAA regulations thing makes it very difficult to uh To bring liquids. To bring any well, my whole answer was gonna be um I'll survive with my uh travel size mouthwash and toothpaste.

SPEAKER_03 25:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Uh because that's pretty much all you can really bring.

SPEAKER_03 25:44

Well, remember that once you land, you could still buy everything. Like you could even buy a big giant thing of water once you get past TSA.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Okay, if that's the case, we're we're talking about Vegas, right? Yeah. I go buy a gun.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Oh. It's Vegas. The the the purpose, I'm trying to get you guys to think outside of just a piece of.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

I want a gun. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

What kind of things would you take with you to a crowded location?

SPEAKER_02 26:13

I'd bring a bunch of plastic uh grocery bags. Why? Because you want to try to eat me, I'm gonna wrap your head up. Tie it in a knot, you're not a problem anymore. Next one.

SPEAKER_05 26:26

I've literally I've I've I'm suffocating every zombie. Are we talking zombies?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Are we talking zombies?

SPEAKER_03 26:33

I assumed. Uh sure. We're always talking zombies. You're never gonna lose points with me if you bring it back to zombies.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Well, that's what I thought. Like public area, like large crowd, you're saying like chaos is happening. I'm automatically imagining there's zombies. Um, I feel like uh bringing a bunch of plastic bags would be concerning, but not illegal. Not illegal. I think TSA might stop you and have a lot of questions, but not illegal.

SPEAKER_05 27:04

So So me personally, if I was gonna do the bag method, I would I don't know why my fucking camera keeps fucking up. Come on, dog.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Alright, we're not looking anyway.

SPEAKER_05 27:18

I would personally go with the heavy duty construction bags, you know? And then get some big ass zip ties. So you go bag zip tie, you know?

SPEAKER_03 27:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 27:30

So then the best way.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

Both of you guys have bags. You're carrying bags. Hey, we got those bags, my man. So that's your that's your top item. Let's get what would your backup item be?

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Oh, um, backup item?

SPEAKER_05 27:48

Probably a gun.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Probably my uh vintage katana uh that I'll just bring onto the airplane. That'll pass through TSA. Yes. Because I'm a samurai.

SPEAKER_05 28:02

Firearms?

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 28:05

Okay, flintlock pistol. This guy. According to the government, that doesn't take a lot of.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

I'm gonna bring the biggest nail file I can bring without getting flagged by TSA.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Nail file?

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Yeah. There's some sharp part on there, nail clippers or something. I'm you really limited us with the FAA thing with the TS.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

No, I I haven't really. That's a nail file.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Yeah. I was thinking of Robin Williams' bit where he's like, everybody stand back or the bitch loses a cuticle.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

I remember that one.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

So yeah. Uh there, I mean, there's not much we could bring on a plane that wouldn't get flagged.

SPEAKER_03 28:52

Well, think think of the fact that once you get past TSA, they have all of those stores you can buy shit.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

I'm sure there's a gun store in the airport.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

There is no gun store in the airport.

Realistic Pack List For Travel

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Imagine though, that'd be kind of funny. That would be wild. Um, I don't know. Like, cause it's all like books and shirts and neck pillows. And I mean, like, I land and there's automatically a problem, or like I get prepped time.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

No, no, no. I'm I'm saying you're you go, you land, and you go to this large event, whatever it is. This is the imagined by NAB. You you just you're going for this festival, for this convention, for this event, for this concert, for you name it, whatever it is that that you like to go to, uh, you get in the plane, you fly over.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

It's so tough because like if I'm going to an event, I am going to assume that they're selling beverages and food and stuff like that. Because it would be weird if they weren't.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

All fair.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Like, I I don't know. Like, I don't blame anyone at the fire festival because it's like if I was going to an event that was marketed as like this big like celebrity event with like a bunch of food and stuff, like I would expect there to be water. And if there wasn't, yeah, I'd also be pretty shocked. And I wouldn't have brought water on a plane to the Bahamas to go to this fire festival. I would assume that they would have water. So, like, I don't know. That's kind of a crappy situation because it's like it's interesting.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

I I think it's just for me, I always buy a bottle of water in the airport before I get on the plane because it's just it's uncomfortable for me to be without water for that long. And they come down the aisle and they offer you water and coffee and shit. But to have your own water that you could just crack open and I buy candy. I think of a plane as like a baby wipes is good, or even like sanitized wipes. Fucking don't say baby oil.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

You could but you could load up, you could stock up on like aspirin and Tylenol and stuff and sell that. Duck.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

That's not bad.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

But before I I wanna like you would have to know that there was gonna be disaster. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

I I want to get your minds before you know there's disaster.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

I'm gonna be real. I don't buy anything in the airport, it's all overpriced, and that's the last thing I want to do. I've usually already brought everything that I need. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

Which I I you guys are like blowing my mind because one of the most common things that people take to the airport with them are snacks. You got like beef jerky, you've got my gun.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

I was literally No, you don't. I was literally just saying that I treat the plane like a movie. Like I buy candy for plane rides because it's like a movie where it's like you know that's fair. I'm here for like the next two or three hours. That's fair. I I don't mind that if you But we're talking survival, like at a we're also talking an event.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

The the point being is what would you have on you on your person?

SPEAKER_02 31:56

I wouldn't bring snacks to an event.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

I wouldn't bring snacks on the plane?

SPEAKER_02 32:00

On the plane, yeah, but we're talking about once you're off the plane, you're going to the event. Damn, bro. You eat all of your snacks?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Do you bring that few? Am I the crazy one here? I fill my freaking bag with snacks. He's fat.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

He really like what the fuck was that? Like the tone was so off button.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

No, what I'm thinking is that you bring like two items.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

He goes, big back, big back.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

I guess I'm confused. I'm asking for real life practical exam. When you go on a plane, you only pack enough snacks to last you for the plane ride, and you eat everything that you take.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

I buy snacks if I want them when I'm there.

SPEAKER_05 32:50

Yeah, who's the real big bag?

SPEAKER_02 32:52

For the flight. Yes. I wait. So normally I go through TSA, I have nothing on me. If I'm lucky, I took an edible before I got to the TSA line. I get to TSA, I go through there, and then as I'm walking to my gate, I'm clocking any restaurants that look good or any like snack shops that look like they might have something I want. I'm kind of window shopping as I go through. I make sure that the gate exists and that it is the right info. And then I go back. If I'm not hungry, I just go to a bar and I drink a beer. And then I get on the plane. Uh or if I am hungry, I usually like I don't normally do restaurants at at uh airports. I rarely do that. But I'll normally like hit up a snack bar, buy like maybe a pre-packaged sandwich or like I don't know, like a thing of Sour Patch Kids and a water or something like that. Like that's usually what I do. I don't like stock up on a whole bunch of snacks and take them through TSA.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Dang. Okay, TJ.

SPEAKER_05 33:54

What on the snacks front?

SPEAKER_03 33:56

Do you do you do anything? You gotta travel on a plane. It could be 45 minutes, an hour, two hours. It's not an extremely long flight. Comparatively short.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

I want to know if it's a 45 minute flight. I'm not buying anything.

SPEAKER_05 34:11

Realistically, the only thing I give a shit about on a flight is whether or not my back's gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Okay, so you you're taking nothing with you.

SPEAKER_05 34:21

He brings a neck pillow.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Neck pillow.

SPEAKER_05 34:23

Yeah, lobster neck pillow. Everybody has to.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

I was gonna say, I got one for you, man.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

Okay, so you take a couple of things. Pretty sure it's a crab, though. What your your backpack has natural, like just ordinary stuff. You've got your clothes, change of clothes, you've got toothbrush, toothpaste.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

My gun.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

No, you don't.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

You don't know how he travels, Alex. He doesn't travel with a gun. You don't know how he travels. How do you know? He could be an air marshal. You don't know. You he is not an air marshal. You never know who the air marshal is. That's their whole job. You never know. That's the whole thing. Do you know how? I know he's not an air marshal. Duck, duck, duck, air marshal.

SPEAKER_05 35:11

Oh man, I was air marshal last time.

SPEAKER_03 35:15

I know he would never pass the psychological evaluation. That's just a fact.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

That's crazy, because uh I can lie my ass off. Are you crazy? I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

The way this guy The way this guy's Your Honor, he said he wasn't crazy.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

I don't know what else you want from me.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

Look, the way this guy's white half drops the N-bomb, I there's no way he passes.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

I think that's why he should have a gun.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

To be honest, yeah, I think that's really all you need. Holy shit, that was dark.

SPEAKER_03 35:52

Not TJ dark, darker.

SPEAKER_05 35:55

I'm not even that dark.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

That's what I mean. Darker.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

I'm your skin tone.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

You are my skin tone. I might be darker than you. And you guys are getting on a plane?

SPEAKER_05 36:04

Say it.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Sorry, I can't say two back-to-back wild things. Say it.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

And one of those, we gotta do that good cut, right? I'm darker than you. Yeah. And just cut. So TJ adds the rest of the word. So you you guys are not cooperating at all. I don't know what you want from us. So I want realism, but I gave you realism, but you don't like my realism. The issue here is not that you're not.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

You think I'm a fatty.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

It's not that you guys aren't being real. The problem is that you're clearly not fucking survivalists.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

But what do you want me to do? I'm going to an event.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

You don't think about shit happening.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

I'm going to an event that's black.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

When the fuck do I go to festivals? That's for rich white kids.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

We're trying to bring our guns, and you're saying we're not allowed to. All right. All right, bro. Let's go to Coachella. Shut the fuck up, Becky.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

You're going to you're going to Weed Con.

SPEAKER_05 37:09

I mean, like, personally, I don't think weeds.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

I'm bringing a lighter.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

You're going to a family reunion. You're you're a lighter. You're going to meet your dad where he's hanging out with the gallon of milk.

SPEAKER_05 37:23

My dad's the air marshal. I'm bringing all of my buddies there, probably.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

I'm bringing all of my report cards. Which, by the way, I only learned on this flight that regular Bick lighters, okay. Regular Zippo lighters, okay. Really? Our torch lighter, not okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

A BIC lighter is okay? Yeah. I didn't think they would let I never take a lighter though.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

A regular BIC lighter is okay.

SPEAKER_05 37:49

I figured any fire they'd be like the because of the pressure change, you would like do something.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

The zippo surprises me. I I kind of would have assumed they'd be like, no zippo.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

No, it's it's okay as long as it's the um cotton absorbed fuel and it has to be fully absorbed. You can't bring a canister of fuel. You can check it.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Generally, fire is a big no-no on planes, just kind of in general.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

So I mean, you can't be sitting there like lighting up.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Yeah, it surprised me that they even let you bring them on because like a lighter, a big lighter is a dollar.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

You can't bring mercury on a plane. How would you even test that theory? I want to see you do it.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

Bring uh bring one of those old school thermometers.

SPEAKER_03 38:35

So basically, I want to see you go through TSA with mercury and you get mercury and aluminum do not act well together.

SPEAKER_05 38:43

Um, and it creates something called an an amalgam. So if you leave any liquid mercury on like a piece of aluminum, it'll absorb into it, then making a mercury aluminum amalgam amalgam that is quite brittle. And what are airplanes made out of?

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Aluminium.

SPEAKER_05 39:02

Yeah, I could take a whole airplane down.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

Just a little bit of mercury.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

Look at me like that.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

With one thermometer. Why'd you say it like those people who across the fucking pond who don't exist?

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Because they're funny and weird. Because they're weird and funny and they talk strange.

SPEAKER_05 39:18

They're funny looking.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

Did they pay you? What who are you? What was that? New season, new you.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

Wait, you know what? Fuck off. You're not helping me with this episode here. You guys aren't even taking it seriously.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

We tried to take a gun of this. You wouldn't let us prepare, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

There I wanna know what you would fucking pack you. In a bug out bag type scenario.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

That's not what you asked. That's not what you asked. Because what I could what I can put in a what I can put in a bug out bag is not what I could take through TSA.

SPEAKER_03 39:52

What could you put in a bug out bag that you can take through TSA?

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Nothing! Bullshit! Why would I take it to a festival? Why? Why would I why would I do that? Why why would I take MREs and purified water?

SPEAKER_03 40:04

I'm not telling you to take MREs and purified water. But what are the other items that you would take with you?

SPEAKER_02 40:14

Magnesium and flint.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Do you want to be next to an ocean?

SPEAKER_02 40:17

I don't think you could take magnesium and flint onto a plane.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

No.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

I don't think they let there's like nothing in a bug out, but I mean maybe life sharks.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Sure. Sure. You could take you could take snacks, but you guys are freaking weird.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

We're just you called me the fatty. We're not fatties.

SPEAKER_05 40:34

Dog, this episode is scrapped. I'm gonna call this episode a bunch of bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Blame yourselves. We are desperately trying.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

What would you take, Alex? You are definitely What would you take?

SPEAKER_03 40:51

I always take water with me. I always take snacks with me. Now I buy the snacks before I get through TSA because they don't care. They'll let you walk through with that. Then you have your your standard gear. You have your deodorant, your uh toothpaste, your toothbrush, your all travel size. All travel size. You have your um first aid. I always carry aspirin, or in my case, I like a leave. Um you have uh my normal backpack usually has some minor first aid things, band-aids. Um let me see what else. I usually carry a flashlight with me outside of my cell phone. Well, I just unpacked.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

I don't take any of that stuff. The first aid stuff is not a bad idea. I carry that with my hiking gear.

SPEAKER_03 41:39

Dude, I carry that on my every single day duffel bag.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

It's in my normal bag. Like my my normal bag that I take to work has a first aid kit in it. And it's for the dogs, but I've also used it. Like I've also I've given it to a staff member who stepped on a piece of glass, so that was handy that I had that on me. But um, yeah, I mean I don't carry that on a plane though. I don't know. That's just not something I really I guess I think about. I don't really worry about that because I kind of figure like if I get hurt on a plane, it's either minor enough that it can wait, or it's severe enough that a first aid kid ain't gonna matter.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

Well, that okay, you you're focusing too much on the goddamn plane, you fucking assholes.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

Personally, I was just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

You said we have to get it taken through TSA. Cause I'm trying to fucking limit your asses from saying a gun. Let me bring a gun!

SPEAKER_04 42:31

You can take guns on the plane.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

No, you have to check them. You don't know what I'm willing to do. You cannot carry them on. Yes, and then and then I get them from the from the baggage claim. Uh probably not the baggage claim, but the customer service desk.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Oh, it's baggage claim.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

Well, I don't think the gun just comes out on baggage claim.

SPEAKER_03 42:49

I think you have to You have to put it in a case. You have to check the case. You have to notify them what's in the case. They tag it, they have a key that they can open it. Your case has to have a TSA-approved key. Yeah. Uh lock. So they open it, they check it, they tag it, they put it on the plane. You go on the other side and it comes out just like baggage. You pick up your freaking items and you go.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

Like overhead bag, like checker size checker thing. So I'm not sure. No, you cannot check it. And I will be having this conversation. Carry it on.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

I'll just tell them that I'm the air. I'll just tell them I'm the air marshal. Because that'll whip out my bags. Cozy has had enough of your shit. He's just laying down. Listen to that sigh. I'll hide the gun in Cozy's crate. In his carry-on crate.

SPEAKER_05 43:40

I will shove the gun into my urethra.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

I I I think that might show up on the x-ray.

SPEAKER_05 43:48

It won't.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Not behind the Prince Albert. You have a urethra sleeve. Well, you see Mr. TS hides contraband.

SPEAKER_05 43:56

The T in TJ stands for techno.

SPEAKER_03 43:59

Tyrannus.

SPEAKER_05 44:00

Technological Johnson. So if they see any metal parts, it's metal.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Like my penis was actually replaced by a prosthetic penis made of metal.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

You guys are impossible.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

You wouldn't found a cyborg's penis, would you?

SPEAKER_03 44:14

You have no plans for surviving.

SPEAKER_05 44:19

Okay, here's what I think. My cyborg penis. Turn into anything. And it produces fresh water.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

Would you believe it if we said we're trying?

SPEAKER_05 44:31

You can't prove I don't have a cyborg penis, Alex.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

I can.

SPEAKER_05 44:39

No, I'm whipping it out.

Cyborg Gear And Internet Weirdness

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Yes, sir. Prove it. Prove it right now. Alright. He has to unbolt his pants. I'm whipping it out. Okay, Kermit. It's got catchable tips. You know that guy. You know that guy. Oh, wait, I just realized it's a screwdriver. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_05 45:03

Not only is it a Black Panther screwdriver.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

I'm not gonna lie, meaning to screw you.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

I thought it was like purple lipstick, like Maddie's purple lipstick or something, and I was like, weird thing to show, but okay. I you guys know that Kermit who who like uh he goes on a meagle and he like lifts up the cue card. Oh yeah. Yeah. Good times. I got something. Wait, hold on. Uh Kermit voice. I got something to show you. What's a Kermit voice? I'm really bad with it.

SPEAKER_05 45:31

It's not easy being green. It's pretty, it's pretty okay. Do you want to see something?

SPEAKER_02 45:36

And he just Yeah, yeah, it just like pops into frame and it's just the topic.

SPEAKER_05 45:42

I don't know what voice that is.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

There was one time where I can't do a Kermit impression, but there's one time that it was like a mom and her kid, and he goes, he was like, cover the kid's eyes. And she's like, What? And he goes, Cover the kid's eyes. And so she does. And then he's like, ugh, and he lifts it up and she goes, Ah.

SPEAKER_05 46:00

It's a fucking friggin' Kermit.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Yeah, Kermit's not doing so well these days.

SPEAKER_03 46:06

Omegle Kermit.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

He's become a creepy uncle. Shut down Omegle. Yeah, they did.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

Was that a terrible place?

SPEAKER_02 46:12

But I mean percent penises.

SPEAKER_03 46:14

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

It it was, yeah, by the end of it.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

Wait a minute. It really was, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 46:20

So why'd they shut it down?

SPEAKER_03 46:21

Wasn't it that wasn't it omegle that was that like famous reel of it looks like two girls and they like what is the word spot each other? Yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden you find out that it's two dudes.

SPEAKER_05 46:37

You're fucking ugly.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

That's the one. That's the one. That was Omegle, right? Mm-hmm. Fucking crazy place.

SPEAKER_02 46:47

Omigo is great. They still have versions of it. Like they're still basically like Omegle out there. It's just not called that.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

The internet is a crazy place. And AI is only making it crazier.

SPEAKER_05 47:00

What a boomer.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

It's such a boomer thing to say, dude. Oh, like you weren't saying the same damn thing at the beginning of the episode?

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Um, I was saying that people think that AI is the devil, and I don't think it is. I think it will be okay. It just needs time.

SPEAKER_05 47:16

Unless they make an AI devil, then Well, and then you know what?

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Then egg on my face.

SPEAKER_05 47:22

It's gonna be devil come on your face.

SPEAKER_02 47:25

What is that expression? Egg on my face. What what is that where does that come from?

SPEAKER_03 47:30

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

Like w wha how does that mean, like, you know, like shame on me.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

I see I I would say splooge on your face. What? Yep. You took the devil's splooge right in your eye. Damn, in the eye is crazy. And you did it with your mouth open.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Oh man, you just okay, you just you gave me a vocal stim that I I refrained from doing. You guys ever seen you guys ever seen Underdog? I had a cartoon 20 years ago. Yeah. Ew, your mouth was open. Do you remember that line?

SPEAKER_03 48:06

Was that uh Underdog, wasn't that the underdogs? No, that no one's not gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Yeah, underdog is a superhero. It's a beagle named Shoe Shine who just has powers he was like experimented on. And that the guy who plays Kronk, what's his name from Emperor's New Groove? He's in so many things. He has such a very distinct voice.

SPEAKER_03 48:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

He he was in Underdog and he's like the evil guy's uh like henchman.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

I can't my voice is all wrecked from this week. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Cusco.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

He's very overpronunciated.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

He's specifically designed for Cusco.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Yeah, that guy. So but he he plays the evil guy's henchman on uh on underdog, and there's a a scene where they have underdog and the evil guy's like, yes, yes, and he gets all close to underdog, and then the beagle sneezes and uh it sneezes like right in his mouth, and the guy I forget his name, but the guy who plays Kronk, he's like, Ew, your mouth was open. It's just such a good line. I really like that movie. I should watch it again.

SPEAKER_03 49:19

So we've never even gotten to the festival. You guys don't survive. Well, you won't let me bring my gun, so you didn't even survive the plane ride.

SPEAKER_02 49:26

The the TSA wouldn't let me bring my gun, so I didn't even get on the plane.

SPEAKER_03 49:30

Not because the plane crashed, not because anything catastrophic happened, but you guys annoyed the flight attendant so much that they unalived you right there on the plane. You did not escape, and nobody else on the plane even complained about it. Well, they kept the they kept the stewardesses secret. You all were buried in the desert, and nobody knows you ever existed.

SPEAKER_02 49:53

Well, you know what? The world doesn't like good people. You know, JFK was assassinated, Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. Um I think that really just goes to show that when people want to kill you, it's because you're doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Or you would noy the shit out of them. Because you were doing the right thing. No. No. There's nothing right about your arguments.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

I mean, we're basically just like JFK.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

There's nothing right about your arguments.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

We're basically guys. We're basically better than JFK.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

You both suck. Yeah, you don't participate. You don't participate, you don't cooperate, you don't help in the furthering of the episode.

SPEAKER_05 50:34

All we do is procrastinate and masturbate.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

Look, yeah, maybe we didn't further the episode, but we were busy furthering humanity. Okay. Furthered humanity? Shut up.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

You were furthering human manatees. Human manatees. I said what I said.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

Human manatees. Humanatees.

SPEAKER_05 51:01

Humanity. That's a sort of human.

SPEAKER_03 51:04

It's humanity.

SPEAKER_05 51:05

Like an off-brand aquamin, you know? Humanity. Humanity. Humanity. Man, and he can't like get off the phone.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Cozy superhero. Wait, it's like some horribly disfigured man who is literally just like half manatee, half humanity.

SPEAKER_04 51:22

He was fused with humanity.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:25

Humanity.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

He's like, please help.

SPEAKER_00 51:28

Oh god. Humanity.

SPEAKER_03 51:31

All he wants is for someone to help him, and it saves people's lives by accident.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

He's like, I can't breathe water or air. I'm constantly suffocating. I can't die.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

It's just uh it's like this 50s film where it's just black and white and like humanity. He's like, please help.

SPEAKER_03 51:57

And there's Eric and TJ who refuse to help him, refuse to kill him, refuse to do anything because they want to blame TSA.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

Well, TSA wouldn't let me bring my gun to end it. I would end it for him if TSA would let me bring my gun.

SPEAKER_04 52:15

Now in the deep jungles of South America. A man fused with a parakeet.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

Why the fuck have we devolved into you monsters? You both are absolute horrible, terrible monsters.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

Now we move to the Arctic where we see a man who's been fused with a penguin. A humanguin. What is it on my egg?

SPEAKER_03 52:59

Shut up. Shut up. You don't deserve my laughter. You suck both of you. You're horrible human beings. You are the human humanities.

SPEAKER_05 53:12

Yo, bro, what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

That was awful. We never even got to scenario two. It was the second one of both of you stuck. Horrible.

SPEAKER_05 53:32

I think we need to really buckle down on this. Uh there's no buckling down.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

There is no saving this.

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Scenario two. You're going into a nightclub, but the bouncer won't let you take anything in. What do you bring?

SPEAKER_05 53:49

You go to walk in the club, the bouncer is a man in a parakeet fused into one. All he goes is, ah! What do you do?

SPEAKER_03 54:02

Alright, fuck you both.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

Good question. It's a good good scenario.

SPEAKER_03 54:06

I want you both to suffer horrific, terrible, terrifying deaths. You're animals.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

Well at least I'm not a human mixed with an animal, you know. Humanimals, guys. Humanimals, that's humanimals. Uh actually, no, we copyright that. We're gonna we're gonna copyright that. But uh uh copyright pennies. I'm pretty sure that was our Humanities.

SPEAKER_05 54:32

What's that book series?

SPEAKER_02 54:33

No, that's animals. Animorphs. I was gonna say Animaniacs, but that's not anything. Ewanimals! It's gotta be like that 50s like like explorer vibe.

SPEAKER_04 54:49

Deep within the Amazonian jungle. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 54:53

Well, unfortunately the bylaws prevent me from declaring no winner because neither one of you deserves a win.

SPEAKER_04 55:00

I think you're biased.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

You both suck. Josh wins.

SPEAKER_04 55:04

Deep within the sub-Saharan desert, a man mixed with a camel. A man mole.

SPEAKER_05 55:12

Hey bro, will you watch my humps?

SPEAKER_03 55:18

I fucking hate you for that. That made me laugh. That one sucked. That one, but that man mole. I fucking hate that I laughed at that. I hate you. You both of you suck.

SPEAKER_04 55:39

Who keeps fucking making these things?

SPEAKER_03 55:44

TJ. TJ does. Next time. Human animals. Just speaking things into existence creates them. Because it did not exist before now. Now, thanks to TJ.

SPEAKER_04 56:00

We have merged a man and a koala.

unknown 56:04

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 56:04

I have chlamydia.

SPEAKER_04 56:05

I was gonna say, my balls are burning.

SPEAKER_05 56:09

It burns my pee.

SPEAKER_03 56:12

It's a man with chlamydia. That's all. That's all. The manwala. You see the uh you see the progression, right? You see the uh the next time on Nick Jr.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

Oh no, not Nick at night.

SPEAKER_03 56:27

Nick at night. You see the who manatee, you see the man mole, you see the uh what is it? Men Menguin manichete and then the combination of man and koala, it's just a man.

SPEAKER_02 56:41

It's just a guy who's just like grabbing his joke.

SPEAKER_03 56:46

It burns one IP.

SPEAKER_02 56:48

Last week on Humanimals, a human has morphed with an anteater. Tune in to what he has to say.

SPEAKER_05 56:57

Manteater.

SPEAKER_04 57:00

We've merged a man with a man.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

That's just gay porn.

SPEAKER_03 57:04

It's called West Hollywood.

SPEAKER_05 57:08

We call it Broke Back Mountain. Next week on Will You Survive the Podcast, we're watching Broke Back Mountain.

SPEAKER_03 57:18

We merged with You Survive with a Man. Oh God. Both of you suck.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Humanimals. I'm not gonna let that big go. That was funny.

SPEAKER_03 57:27

I don't want either one of you to win.

SPEAKER_02 57:28

I'm gonna think about those all week. I'm gonna think about some good ones.

SPEAKER_03 57:32

I don't want to know how do we get into this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

Where did we still be able to do that? This week on Humanimals, a man has been morphed with a mantis. His name is now the Humantis. Tune into what he has to say. No, babe, please, no! Not my head, not my head! Don't do that. That requires some animal kingdom knowledge. You should know that a female praying mantis will kill the male praying mantis after sex.

SPEAKER_03 58:02

Yep. What was the Damn, you have a lot of these that are well used. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:07

There was like that fish. I play guitar that had like years ago. A little like the man. I you just saw me. I saw you attempting. Okay. How do you do that? You got close. Fuck, what was that? It's weird. Jaw Rule was at that concert. That's why he died. Jaw Rule's magic power is to just fucking make people forget about shit.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

It was weird. There was no water at that venue. I thought it was weird.

SPEAKER_03 58:35

That's where he died.

SPEAKER_02 58:37

A lot of beer though. You ran rules there. Yeah. You're gonna call it. Sure. One, two, three. Toby Keith. That's heads. Heads.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

Eric wins.

SPEAKER_02 58:47

Let's go. First winner of the season. First winner. Yeah, say that loser. First winner of the season. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 58:55

Every loser always says that.

SPEAKER_02 58:57

I'm just saying sometimes they think it's really it's like who starts the season is important. Really, it's about who wins first. That's who's the most important in a podcast. Everybody knows that. Shut up, loser. So, uh, anyways, next week I'm gonna come back. It's gonna be a full episode of Humanimals, so everybody get ready for that. Um, it's gonna be fun, and uh yeah, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

Exciting.

SPEAKER_05 59:23

All right, well, what do you get when you merge an animal with your father?

SPEAKER_04 59:27

Eric.

SPEAKER_00 59:32

Wow.

Socials Tattoo Bet And Signoff

SPEAKER_05 59:33

Why don't you give them our socials, TJ? Wow. You can check us out on everything at Will You Survive the Podcast. That is on, you know, TikTok. You can check us out on YouTube. Check us out on X, it's at the Boys W I S. Uh you can hit us with an email at the boys at WillYusurvivePodcast.com. Or yeah, I think. Um you can check out our gaming TikTok that doesn't get anything uploaded to it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

Why, why, why do that to me?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:18

You can send me a thousand dollars on Venmo if you want for me to tattoo your name on me.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:26

Um I can't wait for when somebody actually does that, and then it does set the precedent that you're not Josh.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:32

Josh looks like me and you combined, Eric. I see that.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:39

Somebody give TJ a thousand dollars and have your name tattooed on the bottom of his foot like Toy Story.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:45

TJ needs your money, Venmo. Send it to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:48

I will get your name tattooed on me. That'd be funny because like the first if it uh well no, the first time it does happen, it will set the precedent that nah, he's not kidding. He's pretty serious. I am dead ass, dog.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:01

I do not care. Wherever you want.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:07

I I will not be doing that. It will mostly go in my butt crack. Bottom of his foot. In your butt crack. You're gonna do that to your poor tattoo tattoo artist. I actually hate that bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

Like this guy's mean.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:26

He never shaves before he comes in.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:31

He makes me shave him. TJ's tattoo artist to his therapist. Why does he make me shave him?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:38

You ever shaved a fucking six foot three fucking hairy black man's balloon knot?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:46

You ever shaved a Ford F-150? That's what it's like to try out a Ford F-150.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:57

That's awful. You guys suck. Monsters. You guys are monsters.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:04

Anyways. Yeah, do that. Check his head on everything.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

And these guys would not survive Fire Festival, let alone going to the mall.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:14

I would survive.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

No, you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:17

Yeah, I just go by water.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:18

Transform into a humanity. Oh god! Hell me.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:27

It's like incredibly painful. It's like that movie The Walrus or something. Tusk. That's what it was. Tusk. Tusk. Dude gets turned into a walrus.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

Never seen that. No. Well, with all of that, survivors, thank you for tuning in to another episode of Will You Survive the Podcast. And we want you to stick around. Make sure you go check out all of our other episodes. Anywhere you get podcasts, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, iHeart Radio, Good Pods, whatever. Anywhere and everywhere, we're there. Go check them all out. Make sure you keep an eye out for this episode coming soon to all of you on the chat. And until next time, stay alive.